


When You're the Best of Friends

by xlessxthanx3x



Category: Glee
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-27
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2017-11-27 02:21:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 212,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/657001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xlessxthanx3x/pseuds/xlessxthanx3x
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Puck and Kurt hold hands, cuddle, know each other's biggest secrets, and make the other a priority...but they've just been best friends for years. Based on a Puckurt meme prompt. Multi-chapter. Eventual Puckurt but features Pucktana, Puckleberry, Quick, Puckcedes (sort of), mentions of Puck/Brittany, Puck/April, Kurt/Brittany, Klaine, and some possible others. The rating kicks in during chapter five for sex. Some descriptions of bullying with homophobic slurs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: In the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> The chapter count will always be at least two less than what is listed on here because, as of 1/27/13, there are two interlude chapters that aren't chapters but the website counts it as chapters.

"Hello, Mae," Kate Hummel said with a smile when Mae Puckerman, her next-door neighbor, answered her door.

"Hey, Kate," she replied, her eyes shining. Mae noticed the little boy hiding behind Kate's legs. The three year old had dark brown hair fashioned with a swoop, bright green-blue eyes, and clothes that seemed way too nice for the scheduled play date. "Hi there, little buddy," Mae greeted with a smile. "Remember me, Kurt?" Kurt smiled and nodded excitedly. "Well, Noah's in the living room. C'mon in."

They walked into the house, Kurt holding onto his mother's hand. "Thank you so much for inviting Kurt over for a play date, Mae. I've only really kept in contact with a few of my high school classmates; the Abrams' kid is nice, but the Lopez's daughter Santana tries to boss Kurt around, which he does  _not_  appreciate."

"Santana's a meanie," Kurt said from his mom's side.

Mae and Kate chuckled. "Don't worry about it; you're new to the neighborhood. And it'll be great if Noah gets a friend right next door. Plus whenever he hangs out with his friend Finn I have the biggest messes to clean up."

"GARRRR, THE PUCKASAURAS EATS YOU UP!" Greeted them as they entered the living room. A little boy with dark brown curls, hazel eyes, and a simple T-shirt with shorts crouched on the ground. He held a dinosaur with one hand and a GI Joe in another. The GI seemed unlikely to survive the for the next day, what with its head suck in the dinosaur's mouth.

"Noah!" Mae said sternly as he started to growl. The boy looked up and (sourly) went to his mother's side.

"This is Mrs. Hummel, Noah, and her son Kurt."

"Kurt, say hi," Kate said.

"Hi," Kurt said shyly.

"Hi," Noah replied. After a nudge from his mom he added, "Wanna play?"

Kurt pulled on his mom's hand and whispered in her ear when she crouched down next to him. Kate smiled and looked through her purse, finally pulling out a Barbie. Kurt eagerly pulled it from her hands with a quick thanks. He swiftly made sure her hair was nicely placed and her outfit was on straight before looking Noah in the eye and asking, "Can Barbie play, too?"

Noah smiled mischievously. "Unless the Puckasaurus EATS HER!" Noah pulled out the dinosaur and growled.

Kurt giggled and started running around the room, Noah following.

"Kurt!" Kate tried to call after him, but Mae shook her head, insisting that it was fine and that every part of the play area was child proof anyways.

Kate stood back up, smiling as her child's laughter and fake screams filled the air. This could only be the start of a beautiful friendship.

—

"Can I see her?"

"Shhh, Kurt, you've gotta be quiet! Sarah's just a baby!"

"Noah!" Kurt whined, but softer than before.

"That's better," Noah said, finally opening the door to his new baby sister's room.

Kurt peered over the crib and made a tiny  _aw_. "She's so cute!"

"Yeah, I guess," Noah answered, not so certain. "But you're not here when she wakes up in the middle of the night and needs a diaper change."

"I want a sister," Kurt whispered, running his hand around the edge of the crib. "But mommy said that her and daddy were so lucky to have me and that God may not give us another." He paused in thought before adding, "God's mean."

"Well, you can be her brother, too, then," Noah said.

"Really?"

"Yeah! It'll be fun!" Kurt beamed at Noah before looking down at his new sister, chattering about how he would help Mrs. Puckerman pick out outfits with color coordination to bring out her eyes.

—

"Ah! Help me!" Kurt cried as he lay on the grass patch in between his and Noah's house.

"This sounds like a job for..." Noah started, pausing dramatically with his hands on his hips and legs spread far apart. "THE PUCKER MAN!"

"Help me, Pucker Man!" Kurt cried again, putting all of his seven-year-old acting talents to use. With that, Noah ran with on fist in the air, making swishing noises to pretend he was flying, charging after his damsel in distress.

He instigated fights with multiple imaginary monsters and evil villains before finally reaching his best friend. He pulled Kurt off the ground and they ran back to the safety of the Hummel's house.

"Noah, you promised if I played Pucker Man with you that you'd have a tea party with me!" Kurt chirped, pulling his best friend by the hand over to the small, round table.

" _Fiiiiiine_ ," Noah sighed. But he soon lit up again when he saw what was on the table. "Are those the cakes we made on your EZ-Bake yesterday?"

Kurt beamed and nodded. "Yep! I told you we would eat them soon, we just couldn't have them yesterday."

"Score!" Noah rejoiced, reaching for one to put in his mouth as Kurt poured the "tea"—really just water—into their cups.

"Pinky out, Noah!" Kurt reprimanded, not even looking up from the teapot and cups. Noah immediately corrected his hand position with a roll of his eyes. The things he did for Kurt…

As Kurt sat down, he noticed that he now had grass stains on his new pants. God, the things he did for Noah…

—

"Kurt…I'm really sorry," Noah said quietly to his best friend. Kurt barely gave a nod as he continued to stare at the freshly dug grave, eyes filling with tears. Noah tried to remain strong for his friend, but how could he? Mrs. Hummel was basically his mom as well, and the thought that she had left, that she was gone…Noah could barely handle it.

But he was going to make Kurt feel better. That was his job. That's what best friends did. Slowly, he slipped his hand into Kurt's, just like he saw Mr. Hummel do earlier, and gave it a gentle squeeze. He knew Kurt liked to be touched for comfort, and without a mom he would need even more touches.

Kurt looked up at him with glistening eyes before squeezing back with a weak smile. Noah couldn't help but think that maybe things were going to turn out all right.

—

Burt Hummel opened his front door to find one Noah Puckerman trying to hide shivers from the cold air on his front step, the stars casting a shadow on the young boy's face. "Noah…?" Burt asked, not sure what was going on.

"Hey, Mr. H," the boy tried to say nonchalantly. "Kurt home?"

"Noah?" Kurt asked from behind his father.

Noah ran into the house and hugged Kurt tightly as if he never would let go. "He left, Kurt, he finally did it," Noah finally muttered. "My dad left." Kurt gasped and pulled his friend in closer. Burt closed the door and left the boys alone; his son and his best friend had too intimate of a relationship to stay a witness to. After clasping a hand on Noah's back he left to give Mae his condolences and to tell her not to expect her son to come back later that night.

After several long moments, Noah pulled away and wiped his eyes with one hand and grabbing one of Kurt's with the other. "Mind if we play _SSX Tricky_?" Kurt squeezed his hand with a smile and led them down to the entertainment system in the basement.

Eventually they collapsed on the floor of the basement. When Kurt heard Noah start to whimper in his sleep he moved until they were cuddled together. The warmth of Kurt's body seemed to stop Noah's nightmare and they both slept peacefully the rest of the night.

—

"I'm going to miss you," Kurt whispered, his head resting on Noah's shoulder as they embraced.

"I know, but I'm just a long bike ride or short car ride away," Noah replied. Despite his calm words of reassurance he hugged Kurt tighter, not wanting to let go of his best friend. He wanted to stay in the house next door and always be near Kurt; instead there was now a U-HAUL attached to the back of Mae Puckerman's car, filled with everything the family had left. He was now losing his best friend because his stupid dad left and his mom's job couldn't support herself, Noah, and Sarah  _and_  still pay a mortgage on the house.

Finally the two kids pulled apart and Kurt did his best not to let his tears escape as his father pulled Noah into a hug. "Come over anytime you need to, kid," Burt said gruffly, trying not to show how much he'd miss having the little rascal next door; he was a bit of a punk, but he made Kurt happy and that was something Burt needed. Noah nodded as he broke apart from Burt, but made a tiny grimace as Burt ruffled his hair.

Noah turned back to Kurt and the smaller boy attacked him again with a hug. As they pulled away from each other, Noah gave Kurt's hand a gentle squeeze and Kurt squeezed back, a little bit of a secret communication they had to comfort one another. Noah gave a crooked smile before finally walking over to join his mom and sister in the van. He kept the window down, stuck his head and arm out, and shouted, "I'll call you when we're unpacked!" as they drove away. Kurt waved back and smiled as a few tears escaped from his eyes.

Burt pulled Kurt into his side and walked him back to the house. "You know you're going to have to drive me there like every day, right?" Kurt said. His father chuckled quietly; oh yeah, he didn't doubt it.

—

"Hey, Noah, holding hands with your  _boyfriend_?" Dave Karofsky sneered. Kurt tried not to show Noah that the words had hurt—he may only have been twelve but he already was well aware that the idea of girls finally putting on training bras made him feel slightly disgusted—but he gripped his best friend's hand tighter.

Noah stormed them over to Dave and got in his face, almost towering over him. "Step off before I make you regret ever speaking." Karofsky scoffed but walked away anyways.

Noah glared as he watched Karofsky walk away, giving Kurt's hand a quick squeeze. When Karofsky was finally out of sight Noah said, "Idiot," and the two continued on their way back to Puck's house, the one closest to the school.

Kurt felt bad that it was their constant hand holding that got Noah called out and teased, but he couldn't help but just always be touching Noah. The two depended on the physical touches of the other…well, at least Kurt did.

"You don't always have to hold my hand and stuff if you don't want to, Noah," Kurt said when they entered the Puckerman home.

Noah looked confused for a moment but then answered, "But I want to." Kurt smiled widely at his best friend before they decided to play some DDR. Oh man was Noah going down.

—

Kurt raised an eyebrow at his friend in disbelief. "Seriously?  _Puck_? That's the name you want to go by now?" The two sat on the Hummel's couch, Kurt's legs placed over Noah's lap as  _The Price is Right_  played on the TV.

"Yeah," Noah said, like it was the best idea ever. "We're starting high school in a few days, it's time for a new image. All the guys on the team call me it and it goes with the 'hawk they dared me to get for football," Kurt grimaced at the mention of the unfashionable haircut. "And, c'mon, it sounds more badass. And I am  _so_  badass. Have you seen my guns?"

"Yes, Noah, I have seen your guns; I have seen them since you started showing them off when we were  _three,_ " Kurt said in an exasperated manner. "And so has Santana Lopez, as you've told me many times _in detail_." Kurt gave a shudder but soon gulped when he remembered that he was going to tell Puck about his secret today.

"So I told you mine, now tell me yours: what was the big news you wanted to tell me?" Noah asked

"You…" Kurt bit on his bottom lip and concentrated on not getting emotional. He cleared his throat and continued, "I've known this for a while and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but…I didn't want you to hate me." Kurt's bottom lip trembled so Noah grabbed both of his hands and forced eye contact on the boy.

"Whatever you want to tell me is fine, Kurt," he said before slowly backing away to give Kurt space. Kurt nodded and took a deep breath.

"I'm gay, Noah."

There was a small silence before Noah replied, "Well, duh."

"What…what do you—you mean you knew?" Kurt asked, confusion written all over his face.

"Dude, the first day we met you showed me the heels your parents bought you for your birthday; you're not the most subtle guy out there," Noah answered with a shrug.

"And you don't hate me?"

"Does it look like I do?" He answered, eyes back on the TV. When Kurt didn't respond he turned to him and said, "Of course I don't, Kurt. You're my best friend, you know that."

Kurt smiled, "I love you, Noah." His eyes widened and he immediately added, "No, I mean like as a friend, not as like a boyfriend or anything—"

Noah laughed, "Chill, dude, I gotchya." He turned back to the TV but after a few moments he squeezed Kurt's hand and added, "Love you, too."

—

"Kurt, dude, what is—oh my  _God_ , you got a car?" Puck said in disbelief.

Kurt smiled widely and nodded. "She's a birthday gift from my dad. She's so beautiful! And think of how often I can see you now!"

"Since it's not like we spend all of our spare time together anyways," Puck laughed. Kurt laughed back and shrugged.

"Well now we aren't dependent on our parents picking us up; God, it was beginning to seem so childish," he answered. "So, you want me to take you to school in the mornings?"

Puck nodded quickly, "God, yes. I freaking hate the bus."

"Okay, just know we're listening to showtunes on the way there." Before Puck could complain Kurt added, "Hey, I'm not making you pay for gas." After a moment he added, "And I'm not driving you to your booty calls with Santana."

"They're not  _booty calls_ , we're dating," Puck insisted.

"Sex isn't dating, Puck, or else you'd be dating all the women you clean pools for," Kurt replied swiftly.

Puck wanted to argue there but he knew Kurt had a point. He sighed, "Whatever. We just need to work on getting you some action, first." Lewdly raising his eyebrows, he jumped into the car with Kurt.

Kurt snorted, "Yeah, maybe I should work on coming out to my dad and my friends first."

His friend merely threw his arm around the shoulders of Kurt's seat as they sat in the driveway. "C'mon, dude, you really think your dad doesn't know? Or that glee club you joined? Or, I don't know, the whole population of Lima?"

Kurt hit his best friend on the arm with a pretty strong punch—Puck didn't leave him defenseless, after all. "Shut up, Puckerman," Kurt referred to Noah's last name only when he was pissed at him. But instead of explaining why he was pissed, Kurt sat in a silent, fuming state. Thankfully Noah knew Kurt long enough to know that he was pissed at being called dude and for it being implied that his sexuality wasn't a secret; he also knew him long enough to know the best way to make up for it was a message to his scalp.

Noah slowly slid his hand to Kurt's head and gently scratched at the skin beneath the hair. Kurt grew less tense and even made some small mews at the feel—his head was always very sensitive, both to pain and to pleasure.

After a few minutes Noah slowly backed off and Kurt opened his eyes. Puck leaned back and asked, "So, Breadstix? To celebrate?"

Kurt smiled, "Why not? My dad assumed I wouldn't be home for dinner anyways." Kurt started the car but then turned back to Noah, "You know you're buying, right?"

Puck groaned and Kurt laughed as they left the driveway.


	2. The Prostate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puck seeks comfort from his best friend after betraying Finn's trust and his own moral code.

"Noah?" Kurt croaked into the phone a few seconds into his best friend's special ringtone—"Talk Dirty to Me"—even though it was nearly two in the morning and he was planning on getting at his dad's garage early the next day for his weekend job.

"Hey, um…Kurt," Noah said nervously. "Can I…Can I…"

"What's wrong, Noah?" Kurt asked, sitting up and rubbing his eyes, recognizing his friend's hurt and confused tone of voice. Noah tried saying something else but trailed off. "Want to come over, No?" Kurt tried, reverting to one of his pet names for Noah.

Puck sighed in relief and said, "Be there in fifteen."

Kurt put on his robe and trudged up the stairs to make hot coco, unlocking the door on the way to the kitchen. Fourteen minutes later Kurt sat at the table with two mugs of hot chocolate as Noah let himself in. After a quick hug to Kurt he joined his best friend at the table.

Kurt watched Noah drown the comfort beverage, taking a few sips every now and then from his own mug. When Noah's drink was all gone he asked, "So what happened?"

Puck kept his eyes down and muttered, "I had sex with Quinn."

The smaller teen blinked in surprise. "You had sex with  _Quinn_? As in  _Fabray_? Cheerios Fabray? Celibacy Queen Fabray? As in the girlfriend of _Finn Hudson_?" Kurt asked, his voice hitching on the boy's name.

"Yeah," Puck responded, sighing slightly in frustration. "I  _told_  Finn I liked her. And today he was helping his mom after her surgery or something so he was gone and Quinn was upset so I brought over some wine coolers to help. She had some and we talked and…now we've had sex." Puck rested his head in one of his hands. "God, that was rape wasn't it? She was drunk and I convinced her and it was rape."

"Noah, look at me," Kurt said after a few minutes of silence. After a small stretch of time Puck raised his head and locked eyes with Kurt. Kurt put his hand on Noah's shoulder, "I know you. Yes you have some questionable morals at time but you would never actually  _rape_ someone. Especially not someone you liked. You said you had wine coolers?" Noah nodded. "How many times have you told me that you can't actually get drunk on a few of those? Too many to count. And you have a reputation, and she still let you come over, go to her room, and bring alcohol. And you had none, right?" Noah nodded again. "So your judgments weren't impaired enough for you to do that."

Noah still looked unconvinced so Kurt added, "And Noah, I know you and love you. There's no way you would rape someone." Finally he gave a half smile and Kurt gave him a hug.

"So…Finn Hudson?" Noah asked, not able to forget Kurt's voice crack when he said the quarterback's name. Kurt could practically feel the smirk form on his best friend's face.

Kurt turned bright red and pulled away. He stood up and took Noah's mug away to rinse it out. "Yes, Quinn's boyfriend and quarterback. He just joined Glee club. Is his mom okay?"

"Yeah, just had her prostate removed or something." Kurt gave him a weird look but then just shook his head and started putting the mugs in the dishwasher. Noah started laughing as he walked to the opposite side of the kitchen counter. "You want to get in his football pants, don't you?"

"I have no idea what you mean," Kurt replied, but Puck could see the back of his neck blushing.

"This is  _awesome_ ," Puck laughed and practically skipped behind Kurt. "Such a great, dramatic choice for a crush, Kurtie," he said, ruffling his hair.

"Shut up," Kurt grumbled, swatting away Puck's hand. Kurt gave a half-smile after a bit, "It would be great, though."

"Well, buddy, you've got an in with me, Kurt," Puck said, putting his arm around Kurt's shoulders. "I'll talk to him, convince him that he likes you, get him in touch with his inner gay, and then Quinn will go off with me. Then we'll double date at Breadstix."

"His inner gay?"

"You're the one who tells me all about how sexuality is fluid and that Kingsley scale," Noah said with a shrug.

" _Kinsey_  scale, Noah," Kurt corrected. "Kingsley is from  _Harry Potter_ ; Kinsey was a sexuality therapist."

"Whatever," he replied with a roll of his eyes. "S'okay if I spend the night?"

"Well, I have work…so, want to help me and my dad at the garage tomorrow…well, later today?" Kurt asked.

"Long as Burt pays me my usual hourly rate," Puck answered. "Bedtime?"

Kurt nodded. They broke apart and Puck helped his best friend turn off the lights and lock the doors. When they got to Kurt's bedroom the two spooned together on Kurt's bed as per usual, Puck nuzzling into his best friends neck.

"Hey Noah?" Kurt asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Mmm?" Noah responded, near sleep.

"Only guys have prostates; Finn was covering the fact that he was at a Glee club meeting."

"Oh," Puck said. "…what's a prostate?"

"The male G-Spot; lots of guys can get orgasms from stimulation of that alone," Kurt answered sleepily.

"Shit, dude, where is that? I gotta get up in that business," Puck stated.

"Up in the ass."

" _WHAT?_ "


	3. Enter Mercedes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Kurt enjoys the Glee club, he may have to learn how to add new friends to his life and reveal his biggest secret. Rewrite of "Acafellas".

Noah pulled into the school's parking lot in his beat up truck just in time to see Kurt getting thrown into the dumpster.  _Shit,_  he thought. He tried to get there on time to stop them, but they snuck in a dumpster dive on Kurt whenever Noah wasn't there. "Hey, punks, knock on someone your own size," he threatened as he left his truck. The football punks ran away and Noah rolled his eyes; it always played out like that yet they never stopped. Idiots.

Standing on the dumpster's ledge he looked down to find Kurt looking as nonchalant as ever. "Need some help, there?" he asked, reaching his hand down towards the smaller boy. Kurt took the hand—Noah was sure Kurt would take help from no one else, except maybe Hudson—and with Noah lifting him, managed to get out of the dumpster without a scrape.

"Thanks," he said as he sprayed some cologne he had in his bag.

"No problem," Noah shrugged. "Just wish I had gotten here early enough to stop it."

"It _was_  nice how when I drove you to school they never had a chance to do it," Kurt replied, "But normally the bags are sealed so I don't get my clothes stained. Have you ever tried getting ketchup out of Armani? Ugh!"

"No, and I never plan to," Noah said with a laugh, swinging his arm around and pulling Kurt into a brotherly side hug. "C'mon, let's get to class."

—

"Have you ever kissed someone, Kurt?"

Kurt had to fight back a loud laugh. "If by someone you mean the tender crook of my elbow." Mercedes didn't seem to find it as hilarious as he did, "No, I haven't." Kurt watched as her eyes followed Puck and Santana kissing in a corner of the hallway. "Mercedes, do  _not_  look up to Noah and  _Santana_  of all people for relationship standards. Santana's barely anything but a booty call to Noah and vice versa." Kurt wanted to add that he knew Noah liked someone else anyway but he wasn't going to betray his best friend like that. Mercedes still stared at the two, causing Kurt to sigh.

"Come on," he said, pulling her away from the sight and down the hall. "What have you decided to wear to the spying session?"

Mercedes snorted, "What, is there a dress code?"

"No, but every moment is an opportunity for fashion," Kurt nearly exclaimed. "Honestly, I thought you'd be better about this than Noah…meet me after school and we'll go to the mall to get you an outfit." He bade her goodbye and left down another hallways, not even noticing the three Cheerios swooping down on Mercedes.

—

It was weird at first for Kurt to link arms with Mercedes; she seemed like a cool girl—at least now that she stopped dressing like a Technicolor zebra—but linking arms and cuddling and holding hands were all things reserved for Noah Elijah Puckerman. (Didn't the whole school know that? It wasn't like they were subtle about the touchy-feely aspect of their relationship.) But there the Glee club was at Carmel trying to find out if they could get their choreographer, and she grabbed his arm, and Kurt wasn't about to say no. So he kept it there, ignoring the slightly strange looks shared by Tina and Rachel, whatever those faces were for. Hey, every gay guy needs a fruit fly, right?

"Do you wanna maybe hang out sometime?" she nervously asked.

"Definitely, just let me think about what I have planned." Kurt thought through his schedule for a moment before turning to Santana, "Are you going to have sex—sorry, I mean go out with—Noah on Friday?"

Santana scoffed. "No, I dumped his ass; too low of a credit score."

Kurt narrowed his eyes. "Having to support your own credit card with a pool cleaner salary and donating some of that money to the family budget will do that to you," he replied coolly. Before Santana could reply, he turned his charm and smile back at Mercedes. "Noah's coming over Friday, then, so how about Saturday? There's a Liza Minelli marathon on TMC!" Mercedes agreed and Kurt couldn't help but notice Rachel and Tina share another look before Rachel ran up to talk to one of the Vocal Adrenaline stars.

Mercedes had left Kurt's side to stand with Tina and Rachel when Santana leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Looks like Puck's getting laid Saturday night by his  _boyfriend_ , Liberace."

Kurt stiffened and felt his eyes widen; a few years, maybe even months, from now he was sure he would find it hilarious that people could think that Noah and him felt anything but friendship for the other. But now he couldn't laugh when someone obviously seemed to know that he was… _gay_. Santana smirked as he gulped, flouncing back to her Cheerio friends. She was going to tell someone, wasn't she? Oh  _God_ …

"Hey, Kurt, c'mon," Mercedes said from Kurt's side, grabbing his arm and pulling him into the school with the rest of the Glee club. Kurt held her arm tighter for comfort. It may not have been Noah, but it was something.

—

"So Santana broke up with me," Noah sighed sitting on the Hummel's couch.

"Woah, Déjà vu," Kurt deadpanned, not looking up from the magazine he was reading in cross-legged lap. "I do admire the fact that you actually tried to make it a relationship, though, since people don't accept the idea of friends with benefits that well around here."

"Yeah, well…" Noah trailed off, not knowing how to respond to that. "It was for a stupid reason though."

"Your credit score?" Kurt supplied. When Noah gave him a look that asked how he knew that he said, "Santana told me when I was asking her if you would be busy tonight or not. Mercedes wanted to hang out."

"Awwww, Li'l Kurtie's got a date!" Noah said in a baby-talk voice, reaching forward to pinch Kurt's cheeks.

"Stop it, you brute!" Kurt yelled, whacking his arms out of the way. Noah kept moving towards him, though, so Kurt kept squirming until he accidentally fell off the couch. Puck punched the air and whooped in victory, lying down on the couch to claim it as his. But he didn't notice Kurt reach up before it was too late and his stomach was being tickled mercilessly.

Few people (Kurt) knew about Puck's not so badass ticklish spot on his stomach, but once someone (Kurt) found it, that someone (Kurt) would use it mercilessly until that someone (Kurt) was victorious in whatever they were fighting over. And this was no exception; before long, Puck was strewn across the floor, laughing so hard he could barely breathe, even though Kurt had stopped his attack a few moments ago and was now lying his head on Noah's chest, trying not to laugh his ass off.

After a few minutes the two finally pulled themselves together. "So what are you going to do now that you and Santana are no more?" Kurt asked, not lifting his head from the strong muscles of Noah's chest.

Noah pulled his arm around Kurt's shoulder to help support the weight. "Y'know how that Glee club guy has a music group with Coach and the pedophile teacher?" Kurt made a small noise of affirmation, allowing his hands to dance along Puck's upper abs. "Well, y'know I love some cougars and I know old people  _love_  groups like that, so…I joined."

Kurt darted up and sat to face his best friend. "Wait, you won't join  _Glee club_ , even though the girl you like is in it and your best friend is in it, but you'll join  _Acafellas_?  _Seriously_?"

With a sigh Puck pulled himself up into a sitting position. "You know I can't steal Quinn from Finn, that's wrong on like a hundred different levels, so of course I don't want to put myself around her." Kurt rolled his eyes but nodded in agreement. "Coach is already pissed off enough that Finn has some conflicts with glee and Coach likes him more, so I'm not going to risk it. And, well…this one will get me laid."

The last comment earned him a smack on the arm but Kurt decided to let the subject go. "Well, invite me to your first concert, I guess."

"This Sunday at the PTA meeting," Noah answered with a small smile. "Too bad I'm not playing guitar for it…total panty wetter." Before he knew it one of the throw pillows—he's certain he only knew that term because of Kurt—was hitting him across the face. Oh, Kurt was  _so_ going down.

—

"Oh no ohnoohnoohnoohnoohnoohno…" was the first thing Noah heard when he pulled into the Glee club car wash. Kurt was bent over the hood of his car, cried out and looking so hopeless.

"Hey, hey, hey, shhhh…" Noah mumbled as he pulled Kurt into a hug, praying that none of the window shatterings had caught onto Kurt's outfit. A while later Kurt finally started breathing evenly and he pulled away from Noah. He still looked horrible and completely miserable, but at least he stopped muttering the same words over and over.

"C'mon, Kurt, it'll be okay. I'm going to go tell that Berry chick that you're leaving. Then we'll get to your dad's and get a tow truck, okay?" Noah said gently. Kurt nodded, took Noah's keys, and went to sit himself down in the old beat up pick up.

"Your friendship is very sweet," said a voice from behind him. When he turned around he found none other than that Berry chick standing there with a crooked smile on her lips. "Especially since you're the residential badass and he's so flaming he shouldn't be allowed near gas stations—not that I have any problem with that, since I have two gay dads; you see they mixed their sperm together and—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know how you were conceived; I think all of Lima does."

Rachel pouted for a minute before talking again, "Well, I was just going to say it's funny how close you guys really are. I mean, everyone sees you have lunch by yourselves together and hug and stuff, but seeing it in action when he's in shock is pretty touching." Rachel smiled, "Well, I got to go back to work, Puck. Wish I knew what happened to his car, but at least he's okay." She looked over at his car and turned back to him, "You know, you could always go ahead and get your car washed while you're here; it's all for a good cause!"

Puck rolled his eyes and walked away. He went to his truck only to discover that Kurt was playing the mix CD he made Noah on his sixteenth birthday—there was no other way he had  _Wicked_  in his car. Wordlessly, Noah pulled out of the parking lot.

After a few moments with no talking, Kurt groaned in frustration. "I am  _never_  trying to make new friends  _ever again_." He gave a small kick to the dashboard, and Noah barely managed to contain a laugh at how pathetic it was. "Freaking Mercedes just out of nowhere asked if we could become  _official_."

"Wait… _what_?"

"Apparently she thought we were going on dates."

"But dude, you're so obvi—" he stopped that thought when Kurt sent a glare his way, "But  _why_?"

Kurt shrugged and sighed. "I don't know. So I tried saying I'm in love with someone else and I was looking clearly at Finn but she thought I meant Rachel so…I just went with it. Then she  _took a brick and bust the window on my car_." Kurt put his head in his hands and almost yelled, "She hurt my baby and dad's going to  _kill_  me now."

"Dude, that's, like, a felony," Noah said in shock.

"I know…but I'm not reporting it; my dad can replace it for pretty cheap, I just may not see my baby again until I graduate from college."

"What are you going to tell him then? If you tell him the truth he'll want to report her or at least punish her."

Kurt sat up straight and looked out the window. "I'll just tell him one of those stupid jocks went too far."

They pulled into the driveway of the tire shop and sat there for a while as Kurt tried to build up the courage to go in. "Want me to come with you?" Noah asked.

"No," Kurt replied with a shake of his head. "You have Acafellas rehearsal to get to anyways. I'll be fine." He exhaled and finally got out of the car, waving goodbye as he walked into the garage.

Later Noah got a text that his dad took his car away just to get it repaired but if anyone asked it was because his dad found his tiara collection. Puck laughed aloud at that idea; if Kurt actually got punished every time his dad found a tiara in his room, Kurt would never be able to leave the house.

—

"I did tell you how great you were yesterday, right?" Kurt asked as he and Noah stood in front of his locker, Kurt fixing his hair and Noah eyeing the various Cheerios that walked by.

"Yeah, not that you needed to tell me, I know I rocked that shit," Noah said with a laugh.

"Too bad about Josh Groban, though."

Puck shrugged. "I'm not surprised, Mr. Ryerson is creepy and I didn't really believe him." It was then that he realized a girl with a guilty expression was walking down the hallway towards Kurt. "Dude, look," he said, gesturing with his head. Kurt tensed when he saw Mercedes coming towards him. Noah placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder and leaned over to whisper, "Just remember that you don't have to tell her anything, okay?" Kurt nodded.

"Hey, Kurt," Mercedes said, "Um, hey Puck."

"Hi," Kurt replied, turning back to his locker to look through his stuff. Puck simply nodded his head in a greeting, not letting his hand leave Kurt's shoulder.

Mercedes looked at Puck as if she thought he would leave but eventually she realized that error of that thought and continued to talk to Kurt. "Look, I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry about what I did. And I hope that you and Rachel have a happy life together. You'll have very  _loud_  babies," she said with a laugh. Kurt didn't seem to find it as hilarious as she did. Giving a small smile she started to walk away.

Kurt bit his lip before calling out for her, "Mercedes, wait." She hesitantly came back to him and Puck.

"Look, Mercedes, I lied. I don't like Rachel. The truth is…" Noah squeezed his shoulder and Kurt grabbed onto that hand with one of his before finally managing to say, "I'm gay."

The girl looked from Kurt and Puck in shock. "Kurt…why didn't you just tell me? Or at least the Glee club? You know glee is all about accepting yourself."

Kurt closed his locker and said, "I'm just not that brave, I guess." Puck wanted to argue that Kurt was talking a whole bunch of BS since no one was braver than Kurt, but he managed to stop himself.

"You can tell me anything, okay? I want to be your friend, even if you're just used to having Puck over here," she said. "Just trust me, okay, sugar?" Kurt nodded. She looked at Puck and added, "And we can try to be friends too, okay? You just have to be willing to let me borrow him for shopping trips every once in a while, okay?"

" _Please_ do, oh my  _God_ ," Puck begged. Kurt lightly smacked his arm and all three of them laughed. Kurt smiled as Puck draped his arms around his neck; yeah, it was always going to be him and Noah above everyone else, but adding Mercedes to his list of friends was one of the best decisions he made.

Then, without warning, Mercedes pulled Kurt into a hug, meaning that Puck's hand was now in between the two of them. Unexpected second base in the morning? God he was a fucking badass.


	4. All the Single Ladies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Burt finds his son in an embarrassing position, Kurt joins the football team to hide the truth from him. Meanwhile, Puck receives some big news about his night with Quinn. Rewrite of "Preggers".

Kurt nervously watched his dad climb up the stairs, feeling his face drop as he realized what he had gotten himself into. When he heard the to door to his basement room close he turned to Brittany, "Really, Brittany?  _Really_?"

Brittany shrugged and pouted a bit. "That's what you were saying though." Kurt sighed as Brittany gazed at him with those big, blue eyes. Honestly, how could he stay mad at her? Even Santana loved her.

"It's okay, Britt," he muttered. The cheerleader smiled, relieved that Kurt wasn't angry with her anymore.

The boy pulled out his phone and speed dialed someone, lifting the phone to his ear. " _Hey_ …thank you…see you in a bit."

When he hung up he seemed to be shocked that the girls were still there. "Can you girls leave? Noah's coming over."

—

Noah had been relaxing on his bed, reading a  _Batman_ comic when his phone started playing "Push It". He could barely keep himself from laughing even though he had changed Kurt's ringtone to that  _weeks_  ago, when the glee club first performed that number. "Yello?" he asked into the phone.

" _Hey_ ," Kurt replied.

Noah frowned, knowing what that tone meant; his friend was in trouble somehow. "Let me grab my keys."

Kurt breathed a sigh of relief, "Thank you"

"No prob."

"See you in a bit." They clicked off their phones and Noah practically raced over.

—

Noah had barely pressed the doorbell when Kurt, dressed in a sequin-coated shirt and lots of stretchy black fabric, yanked open the door and pulled him inside his house. Grasping his friend's hand, Kurt whispered, "Just go with it," before pulling him from the hallway into the living room.

"Hey, Noah," Burt said from the couch he was lounging on.

"'Sup Burt," he replied with a head nod. Kurt sighed when Puck came to a stop to see what was on the screen. "Nice choice of show as per usual, Burt."

Burt barely got to say a thanks before Kurt grabbed Noah again, "Anyways, dad, we're going downstairs so he can help me memorize football plays for the game Friday."

"The  _fu_ —" Noah started until Kurt's look, a look that said, " _What did I tell you to do before?_ " interrupted him. "Um, yeah, definitely. Got to make sure Kurt's ready. See ya, Mr. H."

As Kurt opened the door to the basement, Puck locked eyes with Burt. Puck raised an eyebrow and Burt just shook his head gravely in response. Noah grimaced at him right before Kurt pulled him down to the basement.

—

"Are you sure I have to do this?"

"If you want to go through with being on the football team, then yeah, Finn's the way to go," Noah said as the two approached the tree outside the caf they normally chose to eat lunch at.

"But why aren't you a good enough way to get on the team?" Kurt asked, nervously fidgeting with the paper sack he held in his hand.

Noah sighed. "Because even though he's 'betrayed' the team by joining Glee, he's the quarterback; he's in charge of everything and the team looks up to him. And look, all we have to do is get him to help you practice with me and bring you to the try out for them to see it as him supporting you." He threw his apple into the air, watching it spin around, and caught it with one hand, letting out a quiet whoop before sitting down in the shade of the tall oak tree.

Kurt glanced at the ground and then at his pants. " _Noah_ ," he whined. The boy in question rolled his eyes and stretched out his legs. Kurt grinned and sat on his friend's lap, pulling out his food from his paper bag.

"Y'know, your dad's not dumb; I think he realizes you're not like most kids," Puck finally said, deciding not to tell Kurt that he and Burt had that secret conversation via eye contact the day before. "And he loves you more than you realize, Kurt, whether you do football or have a girlfriend or whatever else."

"Just because you knew my sexuality doesn't mean everyone does. Mercedes didn't even know!" Kurt waved his arms for emphasize, a baby carrot accompanying his right hand. "Plus I already told him I was on the team, I can't quit on him now."

Puck sighed and resisted the urge to tell his friend that Burt would understand his need to lie. Instead he leaned against the trunk of the tree and, as a result, pulled Kurt into his chest. Kurt, who had been taking a bite into his turkey sandwich giggled a bit at the movement before readjusting himself so his back was pressed into Puck's chest. When he finished eating his sandwich he moved onto his grapes, occasionally reaching back and blindly guessing where Noah's mouth was in order to feed him some, both boys laughing at the results.

"So, ready to woo your way onto the football team?" Noah asked teasingly into Kurt's ear. Kurt simply replied by slapping him upside the head. "Ow!"

—

"You got this, Kurt, you remember that," Puck said, locking eyes with Kurt as he and Finn got ready to show what Kurt could do to Coach Tanaka and the team.

"Please, this is so in the bag that Coach would design a tote for it," Kurt said with a laugh. Puck and Finn looked at each other in confusion and then back at Kurt. "Coach is a design company. They make a lot of bags…it's a joke. When you say something's 'in the bag'—oh, whatever," Kurt shoved on the helmet he'd been holding and he and Finn set off.

"He's so small," Puck muttered to himself, shaking his head a bit. He sighed as Kurt looked pointedly at him and then he pressed play on Kurt's iPod player.

 _"'Cause if you liked it then you should've put a ring on it!"_ Kurt went into his dance, totally focused on making all the moves connect. A few of the football players laughed and pointed but were soon straightened out by a glare and knuckle crack from Puck.

 _"Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…"_ soon the sounds of Beyoncé were the only thing that could be heard on the field as the rest of the team stared in shock as the ball flew through the goals.

"That's good, right? That's good..." Kurt said as he took off his helmet, obviously knowing that he rocked that kick, as per usual.

"Yeah, that's great," Finn replied, still in shock.

"You did it, Kurt!" Puck exclaimed giving him a high five and engulfing him in a hug before the coach got there. Kurt and Coach talked it out a bit and before he knew it, Kurt was on the team. The rest of the team huffed a bit but walked away with a quick, mandatory "congrats".

Kurt just smirked at Puck as they walked off the field after practice, "Looks like I deserve that tote after all."

—

Puck realized that he should've known that having Kurt on the team would change everything. He just didn't expect for the practices to now take place in the choir room as the team tried to learn how to swivel their hips like Beyoncé. But there they were, Kurt instructing them to comb their hair and smack their asses, most players tripping over their feet, Chang purposefully holding back to blend in (Puck was well aware that the guy could dance like none other after walking into his room to work on a project without knocking). But Finn seemed more distracted and out of beat than usual. So while Kurt went to talk to Coach about something with high animation, Puck followed Finn out.

"What's up? You're acting weird, dude," Puck said, talking to him as they walked down the hall. "I knew it! You're in love with Kurt! If you want, I can  _totally_  hook you up with him—"

The two stopped and Finn turned to Puck. "What? But he told me he's not gay," Finn said, looking confused. He shook his head and finally added, "Quinn's pregnant and she's keeping it." He continued down the hallway as Puck stood, frozen as the weight of the words crashed over him.

"Noah?" He vaguely registered a soft, small hand clapping his shoulder and Kurt's familiar scent filled his nostrils. He turned around to face him, concern lining the other boy's face, his mouth frowning.

"She's pregnant," he whispered.

"Who?" Kurt asked before his eyes turned so wide it would've been hilarious in another setting. " _Quinn_?" he asked incredulously. He gaped a bit before gathering himself again.

"Looks like I'm going to be a father," Puck said slightly bitterly.

Kurt's eyes softened as he stroked Puck's cheek with the back of his hand, "Are you sure it's not Finn's?"

Puck yanked away for what they both was sure was one of the first times (if not  _the_  first time) he ever pulled away from Kurt in their whole friendship. "Finn is still a virgin; he would've told me otherwise. And Quinn's not a whore, she wouldn't have sex with anyone else."

Kurt bit on his lip in thought, hoping he wouldn't burst out and say what he was thinking ( _Well, she was enough of a slut to cheat on Finn_ ). He looked down then back up, "If she's going to pretend that she managed to get knocked up through Immaculate Conception, then what can you do?"

"Fight for my kid," Puck said roughly, "I'm not going to be the deadbeat my father was, Kurt. My kid is going to have a father around to support him." Kurt looked up at him, eyes wide and full of worry, and tried to pull him into a hug. Puck shook his head, "I need to go talk to her."

Kurt watched as his best friend walked away, his arms slightly raised from when he tried to hug him. When he realized his arms were still up he crossed them low on his chest, hands resting on his elbows, nearly hugging himself. After taking a moment to put on his game face he continued his walk down the hallway to the boys' locker room, not sure what had just happened between the two of them.

—

Kurt found Puck sitting by himself in one of the nooks in the school's walls, looking hurt and confused. Kurt timidly sat down next to Puck, putting a hand on his leg. Puck, without even thinking, put his head on Kurt's shoulder, Kurt putting his arm around him, the other angled so he was stroking the side of his head.

"She said I'm just a Lima Loser," he finally muttered. Kurt stiffened in anger that Quinn said that but softened when Puck added, "She's right."

"No she's not," Kurt said strongly. "Would a Lima Loser have a kick ass GPA? Would he be able to play guitar and sing beautifully? Would he be one of the few actually  _decent_  members of the football team—and of the baseball and basketball teams while we're at it?" Puck shook his head slightly but Kurt could feel him calm down and actually smile. "You know, in a few years, we're going to get out of Lima. We'll both be in New York, me on Broadway, you recording hit after hit single, and we'll be happy and  _out of Lima_ , more importantly." Kurt smiled down at him, "How is that a Lima Loser?"

After a few more minutes Puck sat up with a bittersweet smile. "Well, let's get to practice. Have to perfect my ass slapping technique."

Kurt rolled his eyes, but in a loving matter, and they both stood up. Kurt grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. Puck smiled and squeezed back, their little way to make the other feel better, and kept their fingers intertwined.

—

"Uh, this has been a good week, guys. I think we've really come together as a team," Finn said as the team huddled before the game. Puck nodded in agreement and gave Kurt a friendly wink from across the huddle.

"Yeah, but dude, we can't do that gay stuff out there," one of the players said.

"Seriously. It was fun at practice and all, but now? We'll just make fools of ourselves," another one chimed in.

Kurt gave Finn his best " _Are you going to let them tell you what to do?_ " face and Puck sent a glare at the two football players who spoke out (both looked away immediately in fear—how's  _that_  for a loser, Quinn?) Finn looked away from Kurt and put on his helmet and yelled for them to go to the field.

Now this is what Kurt was sure would be the most awkward part of the whole game: sitting with people he didn't know. He went to every game possible to support Puck, but he either had his phone to keep himself occupied or, more recently, Mercedes or another Glee club member to talk to. But he had no iPhone and he didn't know any of the football players left on the bench. Sighing, he walked over to the benches and sat down, wrinkling his nose at the thought of all the sweat that his uniform was now exposed to.

And it didn't help that the game was  _horrible_. They never won, of course, but it was still the most disappointing game to watch, knowing that if they were brave enough to just step outside their box and let themselves go they would win and do amazing plays. It was just beyond frustrating. And how could they be okay with how mediocre they were? Kurt just didn't understand.

Thankfully, Kurt's dad finally made it during the fourth quarter, and he had missed nothing of Kurt's. "Dad! Dad!" Kurt yelled, getting his attention the best he could. Burt always went to the games when he got off work in time, always doing his best to be a second dad for Puck, but this was the first time Kurt was actually there playing as well. His dad gave him a little wave and Kurt smiled, "I told you! I told you I made it!" He had no idea what possessed him to start doing a kick line move at that point, but that he did…maybe that'd impress his dad? Well, he at least needed something to stretch, in case Finn actually made the right freaking call so he would get to kick.

—

"Look, dude, we can't do this here, we'll be losers," some guy said in the huddle as Finn called them back for a last minute play change.

"We already  _are_  losers!" Puck exclaimed. Everyone stared at him for his outburst and he rolled his eyes and looked at Finn, hoping he would make the right calls.

Finn sighed, "You guys, Puck's right. And I don't wanna be a Lima Loser for the rest of my life."

Puck looked down at the ground, trying his best not to think about Quinn or the baby or how those two words were thrown at him earlier that week when the obnoxious member of the opposing team yelled, "Hey, running back, your mom's so fat her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs; get me some ketchup!"

Oh, Puck was  _so_  not in the mood for that. He turned around and faced the player and yelled, "Hey, you, I had sex with your mom." Everyone else stared. "No, really: I cleaned your pool then I had sex with your mom, in your bed. Nice  _Star Wars_  sheets." The players looked at him, mouth gaping, and Puck smirked and turned back to the huddle. "Let's do this, Finn."

"All right, BREAK!" Finn called and they went to their positions. Out of the corner of his eye, Puck saw Finn give the signal to the audio workers.

_"All the single ladies! (All the single ladies!)…"_

Puck couldn't and didn't focus on the crowd, he just focused on dancing and moving on the right beat, watching Chang out of the corner of his eye every now and then to make sure he was doing the right moves. But the whole team managed to stay on the beat the whole time, not missing a beat or cue, even  _Finn_.

And before he knew it, they were hunched over again and he was running faster than he ever had in his life—even faster then when he and Kurt ran from his house to Kurt's after accidentally knocking over Mae's vase—and the ball was in his hands and the rival team was too shaken from before to successfully stop him. They were tied, and now it just depended on Kurt kicking it through the goal post.  _It was in a fucking Coach bag_.

Kurt looked nervous, but he held his head up and cued the audio boys. He lifted his head up and did what he did best,  _performed_. Puck smiled, happy to see his best friend work it better than he ever could. And as the ball soared he locked eyes with Kurt and they beamed at each other, so when the referee whistled and the crowd cheered, Puck was the first one at Kurt's side, hugging him and helping the players lift him up so he was balancing on his and Chang's shoulders. Kurt milked up the applause and the cheers, blowing kisses and waving, and Puck even sent a wink and a point up toward Burt, getting a head nod that seemed to say, "You did good, kid," back. He saw Finn and Quinn sharing a clichéd kiss out of the corner of his eye, but his heart couldn't completely break when Kurt was that happy, when the man who was more of a father than his real father ever could be, was proud of him.

—

"So you're going to still fight for her?" Kurt asked, rubbing some lotion into his face, both boys chilling in his room after the game, deciding to skip post-game parties in favor of a movie to lighten up Puck's spirits.

"Yeah, definitely," Puck said. "You may even see me in Glee club Monday. I got Chang and Rutherford to agree, too."

Kurt smiled widely and ran over to Puck, attacking him with a hug. "Yes, yes, yes! It will be the best! You can keep me from killing Rachel and we'll get our loves and it will be  _perfect_!" Kurt jumped up and shook his arms out. "Wow, I love the adrenaline from all this."

Puck chuckled, "Yeah, the first game is always the biggest rush, now get back to your moisturizing so we can watch that movie soon."

Kurt kept smiling but sat down at his vanity, spraying something on his face, when Burt finally came downstairs. Puck, sensing that this was going to be a big talk, stood up, "I'm going to find a snack, I'll be back…soon."

Burt clapped him on the shoulder as he walked by, "Good game, son." Puck smiled and said his thanks before heading back up the stairs, leaving the father and son alone.

—

"Nice…puff," Burt finally said, breaking the silence.

"Night time skin care is a big part of my post-game ritual," Kurt responded, looking at him through the mirror.

"I wouldn't know about that…but, uh, I was really proud of you tonight, Kurt," he managed to say with a smile. "I wish your mom would've been there, y'know…alive."

Kurt gave a weak smile, "Thanks."

Burt wanted to say more but had absolutely no idea what or how to say. So he turned after a few moments of silence to walk up the stairs when Kurt stopped him.

"I have something I want to say…" Kurt said.

He turned back around and looked at him, hoping that it was finally going to happen. "I'm glad you're proud of me, but I don't want to lie anymore. I know I already had Noah teaching me this, but being a part of Glee club helped me realize even more that I can be anything and that I shouldn't be ashamed of who I am. And what I am is…" Kurt took a breath and Burt leaned his head forward. "I'm gay."

Burt's face didn't change at all. "I know," he finally said.

"Really?"

"I've known since you were three. All you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels," he admitted.

Kurt let out a little disbelieving huff and explained, "Noah said basically the same thing." But he gave a little smile.

"I guess I'm not totally in love with the idea," Burt started, "But if that's who you are, there's nothing I can do about it." Kurt faltered a bit and Burt rushed out, "And I love you just as much." When Kurt did nothing he clapped his hand on his shoulder and added, "Okay?"

Kurt stared at his hand for a split second before throwing himself into a hug. Burt hugged back tightly, hoping Kurt realized how much he loved him. "Thanks for telling me, Kurt," he said as Kurt pulled away. Kurt nodded and went back to his vanity as Burt walked up the stairs, biting back the urge to ask if he was sure.

As soon as he opened the door to the basement he saw Puck with a glass of milk and a pack of Oreos at the kitchen table, staring at his beverage. When he closed the door behind him Puck finally looked up. "Well…?" he asked as Burt poured himself a glass of milk.

Burt smiled and sat down at the table. "He finally came out to me."

Puck sighed in relief, "Thank  _God_ , it was getting ridiculous for me to pretend like I assumed you didn't know. It's hard not to push someone to come out."

Burt nodded, "Trust me, I know; why do you think I pretended to believe the football story?" He shook his head with a smile, "That boy…I love him though."

"Yeah," Puck said. "Me, too."

Burt looked up and gave him a look Puck couldn't identify, "Good. Because he needs that right now. He's a bit emotional at the moment." Burt took an Oreo and pulled it apart, licking off the inside before dipping the chocolate cookie leftover into his milk. "…Is there something you wanna tell me, Noah?" Burt finally asked.

"I…" Puck started, not sure if he wanted to tell the truth to Burt just yet, but then Burt gave him that  _look_ , that fatherly look he had perfected, that look that just said he loved you and wanted to help, and Puck couldn't hold back his words. Everything about Quinn and Finn and the baby spilled out before he could stop himself.

"Hmmm…" Burt said, trying to process everything. "Not your smartest move, having unprotected sex with your friend's girlfriend."

"I know," Puck said, ashamed of himself.

"But you're not a bad kid, Noah," Burt said, "And any child would be lucky to have you as a father." Noah stared at his milk after he said that in an effort not to cry. Burt Hummel saying he'd make a good father? That's like God saying he'd make a good rabbi (which would hopefully  _never happen_ because he loved God and being a Jew, but that was just a bit too much for him).

Burt sighed, "I don't know, kid. Just know that if she decides to let you keep it, that I'll do whatever I can to help out, okay? And let her know all the support she has from us and I'm sure your mother, too. If she's really the amazing girl you claim her to be, she'll come around."

Puck nodded. "I just feel like, she's the One, y'know?"

Burt gave him that weird, unidentifiable look again. "Yeah, I get ya. It can sneak up on you…but for me and Kate, it was there way before we even knew it."

Puck furrowed his brows, trying to form a question about what Burt meant when Kurt's hushed voice came from the kitchen entryway. "Noah? Are you ready to watch the movie?"

Kurt was dressed down more than usual, gray sweatpants and one of Noah's old football sweatshirts from middle school, hugging himself as if he was afraid to let go. Noah felt his heart ache at how unconfident his friend was. "Of course, Kurt, just let me put my cup away—"

"No, I got it, Noah," Burt said, grabbing his cup. "Go watch the movie." Puck smiled and nodded. "Enjoy, boys—and don't be too loud!"

He walked over to the sink and started washing out his and Noah's cups, but not before he saw Kurt and Noah smile at each other before walking down the stairs, Noah's arm around Kurt's shoulders. Burt smiled to himself. His boys may not know it yet, but there was definitely something besides friendship in between them. But he was willing to wait for them to realize it themselves; he needed some time to be ready for his son to have a boyfriend, after all, and it was definitely going to take them time to realize it if they didn't know at this point.

He started the dishwasher and headed upstairs, wondering what embarrassing stories he could tell about those two at their future wedding. There were too many to chose from…

—

"I'd like to introduce you guys to our newest members, Noah Puckerman, Mike Chang, and Matt Rutherford!"

The Glee club clapped as the boys came in, but Kurt just tilted his head up and sighed over dramatically. "You know, Puckerman," he said as Puck walked right up to his side, "You should stop following me everywhere. I need my space."

Noah raised an eyebrow and Kurt dissolved into laughter and hugged him, "Welcome to the club, Noah."


	5. Where the Rhodes Lead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puck and Kurt both have to deal with revelations a certain April Rhodes brings to their attention. Rewrite of "The Rhodes Not Taken".

William McKinley High School didn't really know how bizarre Kurt and Puck's friendship was, New Directions decided. Everyone knew that messing with Kurt was a death sentence from Puck, that Puck knew random fashion facts and Kurt knew random sports facts from their talks, that the boys hugged and smiled at each other a lot, but nothing could beat the shock the club felt when Puck ran into the choir room with Kurt on his back, the latter laughing like a little kid.

"Okay, Noah, you proved you can still carry me, can you put me down now?" Kurt laughed.

Puck shook his head with a smile, "Not until you say what we were talking about."

"I don't know…" Kurt started.

"Say it, Kurt," Puck said in a singsong voice.

"I don't like to curse if I can help it, Noah," Kurt whined, nuzzling his head into his friend's neck.

"Say it…out loud," Puck repeated, lowering his voice on the "out loud" like a parody of a certain vampire, causing Kurt to laugh for a few moments.

"Fine," Kurt said, "You're the baddest of bad asses."

"That's more like it," Puck whooped, crouching slightly so Kurt could slide off his back.

"You know I mainly denied it just so I wouldn't have to walk here, right?"

"Your words, they wound," Puck said in a monotone voice before they both started laughing, obviously some sort of private joke the rest of the club wasn't in on.

"You two are so weird," Mercedes finally said, shaking her head. She loved hanging out with her boys but sometimes they just blew her mind.

"Aw, 'Cedes, you know you love us," Kurt responded, taking a seat next to her as Puck sat down next to him, his arm around the back of his chair. Mercedes and Kurt then proceeded to talk about Suzy Pepper's latest outfit while Puck confirmed football practice times with Matt. As everyone talked, no one noticed Mr. Schue enter the room with a petite blonde woman who would soon rock their world.

—

"So what do you think of that April chick?" Noah asked Kurt as he stood by his locker, eyes following the skirt of a nearby Cheerio until he heard Kurt's inhalation.

"Well, she's an  _amazing_  singer," he started, "And if we can't have Rachel, then that's the best option. But she's so much older than us and it's just kind of weird, at least to me. And her constant need to draw attention to herself freaks out Tina and the other shyer members, so I don't know." He turned to Puck, closing his locker, "What about you?"

Noah grinned wolfishly, "She's  _fine_. She's like a childless MILF."

Kurt rolled his eyes as they left for their next class. "You're impossible, you know that?"

"Yeah, but you love it."

—

As soon as Kurt got home from school, he locked his bedroom door and scrambled to his bed. He pulled down the mini drapes he made for the bit of the windows in his basement room and dimmed the lights, doing whatever he could to hide what he was about to do to the world. With a shuddering sigh, he closed he curled his legs onto his bed, slowly unzipping his bag and pulling out the magazines before tossing his bag on the ground.

He opened up the first one and gasped softly as he flipped through the pages. They…they were delicious, alluring, arousing… _hot_. And being a teenage boy, staring at various pictures of delicious, alluring, arousing, and hot men with muscles that were easily bigger than every muscle Kurt himself had put together and being, well, gay, caused him to get turned on and hard after just a few pages. He ran to the door and checked that it was locked again then trotted down the stairs to check the curtains. When he felt that he was properly hidden, Kurt grabbed a towel and spread it on the bed. He quickly stripped out of his clothes and folded them (they were McQueen and Dolce, thank you very much) before finally laying on the towel, fully nude, and stretching to the side so he could grab his lotion.

Picking up one of the magazines he hadn't looked at yet, he flipped to one of April's earmarked pages and pumped lotion onto his hand before slowly moving to touch his erection. He lightly teased the head of his cock with his fingers before stroking down his shaft. As he played with himself with one hand, he slowly flipped through the pages of the magazine, imagining romantic scenarios with each guy.

It was funny because despite having Puck as a best friend, Kurt knew next to nothing about sex. He obviously knew how a guy and a girl did it, or at least the basics, from the limited amount of sex education McKinley was forced to teach, but how two guys went about things? He had no idea. From various stories of Puck's adventures with Cheerios and MILFs, Kurt knew that blow jobs and hand jobs were good, and, yes, he knew about the prostate, but he couldn't read anymore on that subject without nearly crying in embarrassment. So he was just left with so many unanswered questions: did all gay men do things with their prostate? Wouldn't that hurt? Was he really expected to want to stick his finger up in himself and get turned on?

Yeah, Kurt was just going to stick to his romantic images. He would stare at the picture and imagine the boy kissing him on a rug in a cabin, a fireplace roaring in the background as snow fell outside, their kisses and hugs keeping them warm (as well as the fact they stayed fully clothed, of course). His imagination was vivid enough he didn't even have to close his eyes to get the image going (he was beyond grateful for his vivid imagination, anyways, since it allowed him to live through interactions with Finn with hope remaining). It might be the biggest cliché in the world, but it got him off, so who could judge?

Smearing the precome leaking from his tip for some more lubrication, he picked up speed as he turned through more pages. Then it happened.

The picture wasn't unlike any other picture in the magazine: a muscled guy with just a speedo stretched over a car. The guy was smaller than most of the others, but they were still huge and a  _lot_  better than most guys'. But the weird part was that he had a mohawk. It looked…it looked a lot like Noah.

Kurt gasped as suddenly his mind's eye was filled with images of his best friend kissing him, Noah's hands all over his body as he whispered,  _I love you_ 's over and over again as he kissed along Kurt's neck and jaw. And Kurt just  _couldn't_ , he couldn't, he came violently, spasming as he came so hard ropes of come flew onto his chest, his eyes closing as he moaned a noise near a scream that he was sure he never made before.

A few moments later, Kurt blinked open his eyes, trying to breathe steadily again. That was the best orgasm of his life…and it came from _nowhere_ ; he wasn't near finished until that picture.

He sat up quickly as he realized what had happened. He just had a mind blowing orgasm from imagining his best friend, the only man outside of his family that he trusted, kissing him and touching him and doing other non-friend things. No. Nononononononononono _no_. He could  _not_  be in love with Noah. Noah was his best friend, Noah was his rock, Noah was  _not_  his lover or boyfriend or anything like that. Kurt was meant to be with Finn and Noah was meant to be with Quinn and have more babies and Kurt would be their uncle. They were meant to be each other's best man, not each other's groom. And to keep that friendship alive and to keep his thoughts pure, he was for sure  _never_ masturbating ever again.

Kurt groaned and hit himself in the face with his hands to stop the thoughts. Then he slowly pulled his hands away and gaped at his right hand before screaming silently and nearly sobbing. He hadn't wiped his hand clean yet.

After he performed a full facial and did his homework, a dip into April's other gift was  _definitely_  needed…

—

Puck smirked as April bent her finger towards him, beckoning him to join her in the deserted shower room. Staying after football practice to run laps was definitely the best decision he ever made (though he still was confused as to why Kurt had avoided him all day, which is why he ran, to clear his thoughts). She turned the corner into the shower and Puck ran to follow, ready to have his way with the sexpot—

"Wait, what's Rutherford doing here?" Puck asked, eyeing Matt in the corner of the shower area. "I mean, I've never had a guy watch but if you're into that sort of shit, sure."

April giggled. "No, Skipper. As I already explained to that handsome young buck over there…I want you both."

"Oh, like him going after my turn?"

"No," April said, looking a bit peeved that she had to spell this out. "At the same time. Your mom didn't huff glue when she was pregnant with you, did she?"

Puck gaped. He never had a three-way before. And weren't three-ways supposed to be between two girls and a guy? That's what the pornos had. Wasn't a three-way with two dudes kind of…gay? Kurt was the one who liked boys, not him. Yeah, he noticed guys looking fine and all, but he was straight…mostly.

"C'mon, big boy, scared of some competition?" April asked, raising an eyebrow.

Noah's eyes narrowed and he called out, "Get over here, dude." He pulled April into a rough kiss (praising God that she wore heels big enough to make the height difference not as bad) as Matt came up behind them, stripping off his own clothes before breaking the other two's kiss to pull off April's dress. Turning her around, Matt kissed her as he started taking off her bra, groping her breasts as soon as the bra fell to the wet floor. Puck spent that time taking off his own clothes and then peeling off her wet panties before grabbing her ass.

Now as gay as it might've made him, Puck was totally an ass man. Boobs were great and fun and all, but Santana's and Quinn's asses, for example, were out of this world, so what did it matter that they weren't that full in the chest? A good ass was really the only requirement to ride the Puckerman Express. And maybe a few times he snuck a peak at Kurt's ass because, y'know, the whole Kinsey thing proved that he wasn't gay, he just found hot to be hot and his best friend had a fucking awesome ass, okay?

Well, at least that's what he told himself.

"Let's shower off, boys," April whispered huskily, leading them to the largest stall and turning on the water to a hot temperature, letting the steam spray over them. She let one of her hands and her crack soak in the water before lowing her crack to her hole. "The ol' canal has been used so much I don't think a lot of lube is in order," she murmured (yeah, Puck was going to ignore that) before quickly preparing herself, making beautiful high pitched moans that sounded a lot like his best friend.

Noah shook his head quickly to get rid of those thoughts. He was  _not_  thinking of his best friend before he had a three-way; he was  _not_ thinking of Kurt moaning in want and need; and he was  _not_  getting harder at those thoughts.

"Okay, boys," April said, interrupting Noah's thoughts once and for all. "Let's do this." As if there was an unspoken agreement between the two, Matt helped April wrap her legs around his hips, heels still on, before thrusting into her. She moaned out wantonly as he filled her up. "Get in me," she commanded as she turned to look at Noah.

Puck nodded and got behind her. Being up on Matt made the height difference a lot better, so Puck could easily thrust into her ass. Once they both settled in, she squeaked in delight as both boys started thrusting in opposing directions so she was never empty. They kept thrusting harder and harder, getting near their peaks when she opened her mouth.

"Kiss," she demanded. Matt lowered his lips to hers and she turned away. "No…each other," she panted out.

The two boys stopped their thrusting. Puck's eyes widened as Matt just stayed relatively calm, turning to Puck with a shrug. April bent her neck so the two had more space and Puck swallowed audibly. Remembering to think of the Kinsey spectrum, Puck leaned into Matt and kissed him quickly.

"More," April added, not satisfied with the peck. Puck took a deep breath and leaned into Matt again.

As their lips met, he had to remark on the difference between kissing a guy. Matt was rougher, like Santana, but somehow completely different from her at the same time, it was just…manlier. At April's encouragement, their tongues met and started battling for dominance and they picked up their thrusting again.

He just never expected to kiss a guy before, at least not Matt of all people. Maybe he could imagine getting drunk with Kurt when they lived in New York together and kissing before cracking up and falling asleep with their stomachs warm from alcohol, but definitely never someone like Matt. Kissing Kurt would have to be sweet like kissing Quinn but still rough like kissing Santana, because Kurt wouldn't let anyone dominate him like that. His lips would be soft, unlike Matt's, and he would moan like April was now, and—

Puck broke off the kiss, feeling himself getting so close to coming a lot faster than he intended or expected. He reached around with one hand to play with April's clit, getting her closer to a climax (and reminding himself that he was a heterosexual, damn it) as he thrust as deep into her as he could get.

Just moments later she gave out a high moan as her body gave out multiple spasms, sounding almost like one of those warm ups Kurt did. As she squeezed down on both boys, Puck lost it, coming inside her, panting loudly as it took so much work just to not let his knees collapse to the floor. As he rested his head on her shoulder, he vaguely heard Matt moan before he stilled completely, resting himself after his own orgasm.

Puck slowly pulled out of her and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his waist and grabbing his clothes. "Thanks, babe," he whispered out to April, giving her a kiss on the cheek as she giggled. He stalked out of the shower and changed quickly so he could get home, too many thoughts swarming through his head.

—

"Hey! Wait! Kurt! Wait up!"

Kurt turned around and Noah almost stopped in his tracks. He looked  _awful_. Without wasting a beat, Noah sniffed the air around Kurt and gaped. "You're  _drunk_ ," he whispered.

The other boy just shrugged and muttered, "Maybe."

Puck turned him back around, his mind racing as they walked. "Wait, you didn't  _drive_  here today, did you?"

"Yes, but I didn' have April's gift till after I gots here," he slurred.

April did this? Well, at least she was responsible for it? Puck's blood ran cold. She made him stay up all of last night trying to figure out his sexuality and now Kurt was getting drunk, and at school no less? That woman was just trouble. "I should've known you were a lightweight," Puck muttered as he thought of what to do. Finally he turned them down a hall so they could go to the choir room. It wouldn't take much longer—

"Kurt?"

 _Shit_ , Puck thought. They turned around to see Miss Pillsbury standing there.  _Shit fuck shit shit shit shit_. Puck couldn't even concentrate on what she was saying, only nearly dying as Kurt talked about  _Bambi_ —yeah, he was there when Kurt watched it for the first time, right after Kate had died, and he was the one who held him as he cried until he fell asleep—and vomited all over her shoes.

"He's got a stomach bug but insisted on coming to school. I'll take him to the choir room to rest a bit, Miss P," Noah rushed out, grabbing Kurt's arm and getting him to run—well, stagger quickly—down the hall. As soon as they entered the choir room, Puck groaned to see it full of some other Gleeks waiting for classes to start.

"Kurt?" Tina asked as they stared wide-eyed at Kurt.

"Mulan?" he asked back, Puck hitting his forehead. If they weren't at school, it would be hilarious, because seriously, who ever heard of a Disney drunk?

Noah managed to get him to down in a seat, which he immediately slid out of. He looked at him for a split second before deciding it wasn't worth it and pulling out his cell phone. Pressing his 4 on speed dial, Puck waited a few moments. "Hey, Joe, this is Noah. Burt around?...Thanks, man…"

As Puck waited for Kurt's dad, Rachel tsked them from the other side of the room. "Getting drunk on school grounds? Honestly, Kurt, that is a  _horrible_  example to make for Glee club—"

"Shut up, Ursula, no one likes you," Kurt slurred. The rest of the kids in the room tried not to laugh at Rachel's shocked expression and Kurt's line.

"So if she's Ursula, are you Ariel?" Mercedes asked, her mouth twitching into a smile.

"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh," Kurt drew out, closing his eyes.

"Burt, hey!" Puck said into the phone, walking away from Kurt. "Yeah, I know school starts soon, but Kurt just threw up…yeah, you know him, he won't tell anyone when he feels sick…yeah, I just thought I'd take him home and I'll stay with him the rest of the day…I know, but Kurt can help me catch up with everything, and he would help even if I didn't ask for it…" Puck laughed, "Yup, that's Kurt for ya. So can you call the front office and tell them that we won't be at school today? Ma still has you as one of my emergency contacts so you can excuse me still…thanks, Burt—"

" _Look at this schtuff, isn't it neeeeeeeat, wouldn't you think my collection's compleeetteeeeeeeeeee_ —" Kurt started singing loudly taking magazines out of his bag. Puck's eyes bulged, what the fuck, just, what—why did Kurt have old muscle magazines with him? Turning back around he went back to talking on the phone.

"…What? No, that's just him trying to remind me that he wants to watch Disney when we get back. You know what he's like sick…yeah…yeah, I'll tell him. And don't worry about it, he's my best friend, it's what we do. I'll see you at dinner then…Yeah, Sarah's at a friend's and Ma is working the graveyard shift…yeah, see you then…okay, bye." Puck finally clicked off the phone and rubbed his eyes.

"Um, Puck, you might want to help us stop him before he embarrasses himself more…"

Puck turned back around and felt some major second hand embarrassment for his best friend. Kurt was handing out—well, attempting to hand out—the muscle magazines. "Take 'em, I don't want them, Tink gave 'em to me and they gave me bad thoughts!"

"Yeah, babe, kind of the point of jerk off material," Puck muttered, ignoring Tina's incredulous mouthing of the word  _babe_. "C'mon, let's get these in your bag and we'll go back to your house."

As Puck took them from Kurt's hands and into his messenger bag, Kurt looked up at him with wide eyes. "Nono!" he gasped out, the Gleeks hiding giggles at the childhood nickname. "Have you noticed we're like the fox and the hound from…uh…that movie…"

" _The Fox and the Hound_?" Puck supplied in a monotone voice, the corners of his lips twitching up.

"Yeaaaah!" Kurt answered with awe. "I'm like the fox an' your like the hound we shouldn't be friends but we aaarrreee! Meanies tell us we shouldn' but we do and we're the best of friends despite it."

Noah smiled. "Yeah, Kurt, we're best friends and always will be," he said, pushing away all thoughts on his sexuality away; Kurt was in no condition to talk about it and probably wouldn't be for a few more days.

" _When you're the best of frieeeeends, dooo doooooo doooooo, havin' ssssssoo much funnn togetherrrrrrr_ ," Kurt started to sing as Puck picked him up. "Um…what's the next part, Nono?"

Puck didn't even think about his badass reputation he tried to enforce since he and Kurt could just be themselves in the Glee club room. Plus Kurt was just kind of adorable right then, and he knew the song from all the car trips spent with Kurt listening to his Disney collection. " _You're not even aware you're such a funny pair_ ," Noah sang sweetly and softly, Kurt cuddling into his arms as they walked out the door to the teacher's parking lot, choosing not to walk Kurt through the student body to the main doors. " _You're the best of friends_ …"

—

"So, how much trouble are you in?" Puck asked in a whisper right in Kurt's ear.

"Do you have to be so loud?" Kurt mumbled, rubbing his temple as he closed his locker door, wincing at the clang of metal. "My dad hid all the aspirin and ibuprofen for punishment, at least phase one of it. He's still going to let you come over on Friday if you want, just because it's tradition, but I don't think I'm allowed out of the house besides school for a week, and no driving to school during that so unless you want to give me a ride I'm stuck here until around six tonight when he can get me." Kurt sighed, "I'm never drinking again."

Puck laughed heartily as they walked to class, "You say that now, but wait until you go to a big party with tons of drinks. You'll want to, trust me."

Kurt rolled his eyes and then clenched his head in pain from the movement.

"No eye rolls from you? I could  _totally_  get used to you being hung over," Puck teased, laughing until Kurt hit him sharply in the chest.

If anyone asked, he totally just had something in his eye.

—

"You okay, Noah?" Kurt asked from his spot on his bed.

Noah, who'd been sitting on Kurt's couch and staring in the distance looked back at him. "What? I'm fine. Just thinking about the Invitational. We rocked it and it's good that we have Rachel back."

Kurt smiled at the performance earlier that night. "Yeah, it was great…but you just seem distant. Is everything okay?"

With a sigh, Noah slid over to the edge of the couch and patted the other edge, letting Kurt sit there. Looking down at his hands, he said, "I just…April kind of messed with my head." Kurt raised an eyebrow but kept his retort in, letting Noah continue, "I fucked her in the school showers…in her ass…while she rode Matt at the same time."

"Wait, how does that work…" Kurt started before blushing and realizing what he meant. "Oh," he whispered. "Um, so?"

"So, she made Matt and I kiss and…I didn't necessarily dislike it," Noah finally admitted.

Kurt's brows furrowed slightly. "So your confused if you're still straight?" Noah nodded. "Well…it's the Kinsey scale and everything. Maybe you like some guys, maybe you just like kissing, maybe you just like kissing in the middle of sexual activities…Just because someone's labeled as 'bi' doesn't mean they like guys and girls equally, you know. And really, maybe you just really like sex and find hot things to be hot."

Noah sighed; it was all stuff he knew before the kiss and everything. "Yeah, yeah, you're right. I always kind of suspected and stuff it's just…now that I'm faced with evidence of it, it's kind of unsettling. And also I just know that I like feminine guys, and I just keep thinking about that, which bugs me." He finished with a quick look at Kurt out of the side of his eyes before looking straight in front of him.

Kurt said, "I kind of know the feeling. I keep thinking about how I like those manly, muscled guys, it's why I wanted to get rid of April's magazines." He sighed and looked down on the space of the couch between him and his best friend, both boys not realizing the other was talking about the weird thoughts they had that week. "We're teenagers; we're figuring out what we like and what turns us on. It doesn't have anything to do with who we'll end up with or who we like or anything. Right?" He looked back up to Noah with a smile.

He looked at Kurt back and smiled. "Definitely," he agreed. Grabbing Kurt's hand, he gave it a squeeze, thankful for his best friend, not even noticing how his stomach fluttered ever so slightly as their skin brushed together.

"So, want movie did you want to watch?" Kurt asked.

Puck smiled mischievously and got up, searching Kurt's movie collection as Kurt went to the restroom. When he got back, he took one look at the DVD menu screen and turned to glare sharply at Noah.

" _When you're the beeest of friiiiiiiends, dooo dooo dooo!_ " Noah sang loudly before breaking down laughing as he pressed play.

"I. Hate. You."


	6. Hands, Touching Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Although Puck says he’s in love with Quinn, he feels pressure from his mom (and God) to date a nice Jewish girl. Who fits that better than Rachel Berry? But Kurt’s not happy to see his best friend going out with his frenemy and Artie has some suspicions as to why. And can Rachel compete with her boyfriend’s best friend for affections? Rewrite of "Mash Up".

It had been several weeks since April Rhodes had come and gone and the sexuality and friend crises she caused with Puck and Kurt were averted. Kurt had gotten his car back and Puck had started to accept that he liked guys a bit. Everyone knew that Quinn was pregnant now, but everyone believed that Finn was the father, and Puck and Kurt staying silent on that issue. So while things had changed in their life, their friendship was still a constant.

Both boys kept up their usual best friend antics of cuddling and giggling and Kurt sitting on Noah's lap and, of course, the incessant handholding. So everyone knew something was up when Puck came into practice one day and sat next to Rachel, Kurt glaring at him from the corner as Mercedes tried to talk to him.

"So then she tries to tell me that I need to take my grandmother to the mall and I—Kurt, are you listening?" Mercedes looked at her friend and furrowed her brow. Following his gaze, she sighed to find Puck and Rachel together. "Kurt?" she repeated. "Kurt Hummel, I  _will_  touch your hair if you don't stop looking at them."

He finally lifted his glare, "Sorry, 'Cedes I just…"

"You're jealous of having your best friend's affections shared?"

Kurt's eyes narrowed. "I am  _not_  jealous. I'm…I'm…I'm furious that my best friend is trying to date that…that  _hag_  with no fashion sense who constantly irritates me and everyone else and…ugh!" He threw his hands up in frustration and then crossed his arms, leaning against the wall behind him.

"Boy, you need to calm down. Puck isn't going after Rachel to frustrate you. And he'll probably just try to get in her pants and then leave. You know why he goes after girls—"

"He's going after her because he thinks he had a vision of  _God_  telling him to date her and because his mom wants him to date a nice Jewish girl," Kurt said tensely, just barely managing to avoid saying that his friend also felt guilty about knocking up a Catholic girl his mom would never approve of, too.

"Kurt…" she began, stopping herself at the look he had on his face, a mix of anger and sadness and loneliness all in one.

He stayed in a bad mood for a little while longer. When he seemed to finally be getting happier after their impromptu performance of "Bust a Move", Mercedes started getting optimistic that maybe Kurt would be okay.

"Hey, Kurt, I can't come over after school, I'm going to help Rachel with the mash-up project," Puck said as Mercedes and Kurt walked out the door after Glee ended. "Thanks, Kurt, see ya later!" He called out as he ran to his next class.

Kurt watched him go with a glare before throwing the sheet music Mr. Schue had given them into the air with a yell and stomping off in the opposite direction. Mercedes sighed as she watched Kurt go; it was going to be a long week…

—

Glee club only got more and more tense as the week progressed. Puck came in the next practice with his guitar in hand and started playing "Sweet Caroline". Quinn and Rachel were amazed and pleased at hearing his voice by itself for the first time, but Kurt just glared.

"A-aren't you happy th-that he finally s-sang, though?" Tina asked as she, Mercedes, Artie and Kurt ate lunch that day.

Kurt snorted. "What, you think I've never heard him sing?" He gave a humorless laugh before adding, "I've heard that song as performed by him thousands of times alone. It was the first song he ever played on the guitar; his dad taught him the basic chord outlines of it as a kid and after he left he learned it himself. And so he takes a song that's so important and emotional for him and he wastes it to try to get  _her_."

"Well, doesn't that mean he truly likes her?" Mercedes asked, peeling an orange.

"He. Doesn't. Like. Her," Kurt said through gritted teeth. "His mom wants him dating a Jewish girl and…and it's just…" Kurt sighed and seemed to shrink in sadness. "Religion's like the one thing we can't really discuss," Kurt whispered.

The girls nodded sympathetically, thinking he meant how he couldn't relate to being Jewish. Kurt didn't feel like correcting them, telling them he was an atheist. That was a discussion for another day.

"How are you sure that he doesn't like her?" Artie asked, finally ready to voice something he had observed. "You guys are close friends and you and Rachel have a lot in common. Maybe he's subconsciously going after someone like you because it's comfortable to him."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "One, I am insulted that you just compared me to  _her_ ," he said, standing up and adjusting his raincoat (the Gleeks had been wearing them to avoid slushie stains in the great slushie war). "Two, that is just  _ridiculous_. Puck does  _not_  look for people like when he dates. He doesn't want to date me or anything…that's just weird." Shaking his head, Kurt went up and threw his half-eaten lunch away, leaving the lunchroom without another word.

Artie raised an eyebrow as he watched Kurt go. He had never seen two people more oblivious about how they felt in his whole life. Turning back to Mercedes and Tina, he said, "Boy be trippin'."

—

Rachel gasped as the purple slushie hit her new boyfriend, Noah Puckerman, in the face. After he got it out of his eyes, she pulled the hand she was holding, leading him to get washed up, or at least that's what Puck guessed.

Holding Rachel's hand was weird. When he dated Santana she never held his hand (just Brittany's before he got to watch them make out, but whatever) so really the only hand he ever held for a long time was Kurt's. Rachel's hand was a lot smaller than Kurt's, which was weird since Kurt wasn't  _that_  much taller, but he figured Kurt was still going to grow into them a bit more. Kurt would occasionally squeeze his hand for comfort, but Rachel was constantly holding his hand in a death grip as if she was afraid he'd run away from her over enthusiasm, which he possibly would've if he wasn't used to Kurt's babbling about the same sort of thing.

Rachel led him into a girl's bathroom and finally let go of his hand to find a chair in a nearby room. Puck sighed and texted Kurt when she left, wanting him to know that he was slushied. It kind of warped his mind and he needed his best friend there.

Kurt strutted into the bathroom soon after Rachel sat Puck down on the chair she brought in. "Noah," he said sympathetically before turning to Rachel and greeting her coldly. Noah lit up at his best friend's entrance, Rachel noticed, smiling at him. Kurt bent his head over the sink and got him washed up, getting him to laugh while he did so, something Rachel couldn't seem to get him to do. She wasn't sure how she felt about it. On one hand, she was miffed that Noah didn't seem to like her as much as Kurt, but on the other she knew she had no right to be mad because she was using Puck to try to forget about Finn.

She was completely zoned out in her thoughts when they called her name. "Huh?" she asked.

"I was saying that I'm going to help Kurt with the Glee project now," Noah repeated, standing up from the chair. He gave her a quick hug that seemed forced to her before grabbing Kurt's hand (so much more willingly than he had grabbed hers) and leaving the bathroom, laughing at something Kurt said she didn't hear.

"I'm sorry I've been hanging with Rachel so much," Puck said when they left the restroom. "I've missed hanging out with you, though."

"I'm sorry, though; I shouldn't have been so rude about it," Kurt said, squeezing Puck's hand.

Puck shrugged. "I don't know it makes sense. I'm dating a girl you don't like and spending time with her because of something God told me and you don't believe in God…I understand why you're pissed."

Kurt shook his head with a smile. "You know me too well, you know that?" He pulled him into the choir room. "Let's just agree to let it go, okay? You date whoever you want." He sighed before adding, "And as much as I dislike her, please don't hurt her in your attempt to get over Quinn. She doesn't deserve that…and we don't need her upset at Sectionals."

Noah looked at him with a slight smile. "I think you care about her more than you'll admit," he teased, "But I promise I'll do my best to not hurt her."

—

Kurt, with the rest of the non-football playing Glee club members stared at the clock. Noah just  _had_  to choose Glee over football, right? He hated being told what to do and Coach forcing him to choose? That pissed him off beyond anything else. He bit his lip as he continued to wait for the time to come up. When they talked about it the night before he didn't seem to be leaning toward any side, leaving to go home and think over it himself.

The clock hit the time for Glee to start and they turned to the door. This was it; if they chose Glee, they were in the clear but if they dropped for football…they were over unless they could find new members.

They all froze as footsteps sounded and soon Mike and Matt came in the room, Noah trailing behind them. Kurt and Rachel ran out to hug them, Rachel getting there first. Puck hugged her briefly before turning to Kurt, hugging him tightly and spinning him around. Rachel crossed her arms and went back to the piano, Artie watching her, wondering how long it would take for her to realize who Puck really cared for the most (and the rest of Glee for that matter).

Kurt grabbed his best friend's hands and looked up at him, concerned. "Are you sure about this? You're choosing slushies and geekdom over popularity."

Puck squeezed Kurt's hands and smiled with him as they locked eyes. "Bring it."

—

"Get me to a day spa and text Noah, stat!" Kurt demanded. Tina and Mercedes immediately grabbed him and took him into the girls' restroom nearby and Rachel texted Noah as Artie wheeled up behind them.

"So this is the girls' restroom," Artie observed, rolling through the areas in front of the stalls. "Huh."

"Slushied?" a voice asked from the door. The group turned around to see Noah.

"No, just trying out a new ice mask," Kurt said sarcastically. "Can you grab the Clinique toner and Olay cleanser from my bag, Noah?" He sighed but dutifully opened the bag and grabbed the products for him as Kurt rinsed off his face.

"So, who did it and what happened?" Puck asked, stroking the back of Kurt's neck soothingly as he bent over the sink to get the rest of the icy mixture off.

"Kurt did it," Rachel said.

Noah turned to her with a confused expression, then back to Kurt, locking eyes with him in the mirror. "What?" Kurt blushed and went back to his face washing.

Mercedes and Artie filled in the rest of the story, telling Puck how Kurt was supposed to be slushied by Finn but he couldn't bring himself to do it so Kurt did it for him in the name of friendship.

"Yeah…friendship. Mmhmm…" Noah said, raising an eyebrow. "Can you guys leave me and Kurt alone for a little bit?"

Noah smiled at them cheesily as they all walked (or, in Artie's case, wheeled) out of the room. As soon as the door closed he turned back to Kurt and hit him upside the head.

"Ow!" He exclaimed, his hands going to the back of his head. "What the heck was that for?"

"I've been waiting my whole life to be able to hit you for doing something stupid and now I finally got my opportunity," he hit Kurt again, ignoring his yelp. "You are so  _stupid_." He went to hit him again but Kurt managed to hit his hands away.

"Stop it, okay?" Kurt cried out. He sighed heavily as his hands went to the sink, using it to support his weight. "I  _know_  that was stupid. I was stupid and…God. I just slushied myself to get him to like me and I was just blinded by him and…" he trailed off, biting his lip.

Noah immediately wrapped his arms around him, Kurt's head ducking underneath his chin. "Kurt, it's okay; we all do stupid things for people we like. We get jealous, we try to ruin their relationships, we go out with other people to try to forget them, we do whatever we can to impress them and get their attention and try to make them like us…we do a lot of crazy things." Kurt nodded into his chest, breathing in his best friend's scent and relaxing in his arms as he let Noah stroke his hair. Finally Kurt pulled away with a soft smile on his face, one of his hands immediately grabbing Noah's and giving it a squeeze.

After a few moments of peaceful silence, Kurt whispered, "You're going to break up with Rachel now, aren't you?"

"Yeah…yeah, I am."

—

"Listen, Rachel—"

"Noah, this relationship is simply just not working. I don't know if you like someone else or not, but I definitely do and I don't think we're meshing like we're supposed to. I hope we can still remain, friends, though," Rachel spouted off.

"Friends would be great—"

"Fantastic," she said cheerfully, turning on her heel and leaving. She gave Kurt a small nod as she walked past him, knowing he was going straight to Noah to find out what happened. At least she had been truthful on some level; she  _did_  like someone else and they weren't meshing. But they weren't meshing because of  _Kurt_  and Rachel Berry was not sharing handholding privileges with her boyfriend's gay best friend.

—

Kurt's fingers intertwined with Puck's as they walked down the hall after Glee practice. Maybe life wasn't perfect for either of them—neither were closer to getting the object of their affections and they were both targets for slushies, even if Puck was back on the football team as well as Glee—but as long as they could hold each other's hands, everything was right with the world.

Rachel watched them go with a thoughtful look on her face. The way they looked at each other and acted when the other was there reminded her of how her dads. But there was no way that they loved each other.

...Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the fic gets better as it goes on. I hope you guys like it, at least a little! And I have an outline and everything, I'm just slow at updating.


	7. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt is ready to outdo Rachel Berry in a Diva-Off while the pressure to get Quinn to like him is hurting Puck more than he can say. That is, until a phone is given to him and he makes a horrible decision that could ruin his friendship with Kurt.

"At least you're done with those completely tacky outfits," Kurt reasoned as he walked hand in hand into the choir room with his best friend.

"Well, until next fall," Puck reasoned. "And you know you're the only one who finds them tacky out of everyone who has been on the team. Speaking of, maybe we'd be playing in some of the championship games if you hadn't quit," he added with a playful push of his shoulder. Kurt just shrugged and laughed with him.

"Now I get to support your games and actually see some nice, toned leg in the basketball shorts," Kurt said with a feral grin.

Puck threw his head back and let out a barking laugh. "I should've known you only supported my sports career for the eye candy," he said with mirth as they sat down. Kurt leaned his head onto Puck's shoulder as he waited for class to start, both of them being even more overtly touch-y during Glee club since there was less judgment in that group (well, Santana not withstanding).

"Look at who my best friend is," Kurt said simply, eying his nails right before Mr. Schue came in for the lesson.

When Mr. Schue announced they were going to do "Defying Gravity" for Sectionals, Kurt's eyes brightened and his whole body perked up, Puck smiling and rubbing his shoulder, excited for his best friend. As soon as he announced that Rachel would do the solo, Kurt froze and Puck could see the slightly serial killer look coming out of his eyes. Except for his stiff posture, though, very few people could tell he was upset over something.

"It's so not fair!" Kurt exclaimed as he sat down at his lunch table, Mercedes and Tina already there. Puck plopped his sack lunch and sat down in the same manner, chewing into his sandwich as he lazily watched Kurt trying to kill every grape as he had on his plate. "Rachel gets _every_  solo and never has to audition or compete for it! How is that fair?"

Mercedes shrugged, "Mr. Schue picks favorites, it's really not fair at all."

"Exactly!" Kurt said, pointing and using his fork as he talked. "It's so unfair! Glee club is about 'opening ourselves to joy' and how am I supposed to be joyful if I can't even get the opportunity to audition for a solo in one of my favorite songs of all time?"

"Kurt, you didn't even ask if you could audition, you just assumed he wouldn't let you," Puck said simply, not even looking up from his sandwich.

For his part, Kurt opened and closed his mouth multiple times in an attempt to think of something in response. Eventually he just took a bite of his salad, looking pensively into space as he thought over his best friend's words, wondering if Mr. Schue would actually agree to it.

—

"You're a fag," Karofsky said into the phone before quickly hanging up and laughing with Azimio. Puck rolled his eyes as he changed out of his gym uniform.

"Yo, Puckerman, your turn!" Azimio called out.

Puck shook his head. Those two didn't seem to get that his best friend was a gay guy and that he had no problem with gay kids (and that he was bi or something, but no one besides Kurt knew that). Normally he could just give them a look and they'd stop, but ever since he joined Glee, he was losing all sorts of powers like that. The guys who normally left him alone about his friendship with Kurt were starting to speak up and Karofsky and Azimio were starting to challenge his position of power all the time. And as if losing respect from his peers wasn't enough, he had the whole Quinn situation to deal with: trying to convince her to let him help financially, convince her he should be involved in the kid's life, convince her he was a good guy…

He had a lot on his plate.

"Why aren't you joining, huh? Don't want your boyfriend hearing about you calling out those freaks?" Karofsky asked, an intense looked in his eyes that Puck couldn't identify.

"No, I just don't see the point of doing anything like that," Puck said simply, buckling his belt, his body clenching in rage. That word was already bad enough; it hurt Kurt like nothing else could, and then that dating thing…

"Bull shit," Karofsky said, but he backed off, grumbling as he went to join Azimio back on the bench. "Obviously fairy is contagious, and he's the first one hit after all his time with Hummel," Karofsky said loudly.

Puck glared at him as he put on his shirt. When he was all dressed he grabbed his bag and left.

He did not need all of this right now.

—

"Oh my God, Noah, what happened to your…your  _everything_?" Kurt gasped, his best friend covered with various cooking ingredients.

"Baking," Puck said simply as he grabbed his change of clothes. "With Quinn," he added grimly.

Kurt watched him walk away with a raised eyebrow. Heterosexual baking was definitely not something he ever wanted to see.

—

"He didn't even give me a chance!"

"I know, Kurt, I know," Puck sighed, patting him on the back. They walked into Hummel's Tire and Lube and sat down, Puck laying down the donuts they had brought onto the table in front of them. Kurt sat down and Puck leaned against the table, watching his crestfallen best friend look at the ground, his arms crossed. He wished he had more to say, more help to offer, but all he could do was think about Quinn and his baby. "She won't even let me help her," Puck muttered, closing his eyes, "And she fucking  _flirted_  with me."

Kurt sighed, "The world is just hitting us both down, isn't it?" Puck nodded and the boys went back to their brooding.

Despite what most people would assume, Puck actually  _really_  wanted to help Quinn as best as he could, even if only financially. Finn couldn't help at all, unable to find a job…so he was going to do whatever it took to get her money. That's why he was at Burt's car shop, hoping to get a few hours to get some cash now that winter was nearing and his pool business was done until next summer.

He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn't even notice Burt approaching. "Looking for some work?"

Puck snapped out of his thoughts and looked over at Burt. "That'd be great, yeah." Burt gestured for him to go change and Puck thanked him, going straight to the locker room.

"Where's my jelly cream center?" Burt asked as he opened the box, not taking in his son's penseive look.

"Sorry, dad, we must've forgotten," Kurt said, finally looking up from the floor slightly.

"What's up with your brain today? Y'know, I think it's going soft from all that stuff you put in your hair," Burt said, sitting down next to Kurt as he grabbed a donut from the box.

"It's organic, I'm fine," Kurt said monotonously, having repeated that phrase to his dad many times whenever he expressed that concern. Burt took a bite as he waited for Kurt to talk. Finally, Kurt sighed and said, "Sorry, it's just a Glee club thing."

Burt took another bite and said, with a mouthful of food, "It's not about a guy, is it? Because…" Well, he wasn't sure if he was ready for Kurt to date guys. And he wasn't sure how he would respond if Kurt had realized he loved Noah because Noah sure as hell wasn't ready to admitting he liked Kurt as more than a friend.

"At least you don't have to worry about me getting someone pregnant," Kurt said with an awkward laugh. His dad made a face and Kurt bit his lip, "Okay, I always wanted to say that to you but given the mess Noah's in this probably wasn't the time or place to do it…" Burt nodded and put down the donut, not wanting to think about Kurt with a guy  _or_  girl. Kurt sighed, "No, it's not about a guy…we're doing this song for Sectionals, a personal favorite of mine, and Mr. Schuester won't give me the opportunity to sing it."

"Why?"

"It's traditionally sung by a girl," Kurt said hesitantly.

"Well, you sing like a girl," Burt responded, then added, "Y'know, in a good way." Kurt nodded to let him know he wasn't upset at his dad's words. "Look, Kurt, I don't know much about this music thing—I'm kind of exclusively attached to my Mellencamp—but isn't there more crossover nowadays? Girls doing construction, guys wearing dress shoes with no socks?" Kurt made a face but Burt continued, "Didn't that girl from your school just join the wrestling team?"

"Yes, but her parents had to sue the school," Kurt replied.

Burt stared at Kurt for a moment before Puck came back in with his coveralls on, "Yo, Burt, what do you need help with?"

"Uh, oil change, spot number 4," Burt said, pointing over to the red Honda in the garage. Puck nodded and jogged over to the car. Burt watched him go and thought for a moment. He turned back to Kurt and clapped him on the shoulder, "I got this covered, kid, don't you worry."

—

"So apparently he told Principal Figgins, 'You can't discriminate against my kid because of his sex, religion, political affiliation or the fact that he's queer as a three dollar bill and I won't accept it,'" Kurt said, doing a fairly accurate impression of his dad. "And you heard the rest; Mr. Schue is holding an audition and…and…I have a chance, Noah!" Kurt exclaimed, his hands clasped together. "It kind of makes the whole having to be in a wheelchair thing better," he added, putting his hands back on the wheels as he rolled along with Puck.

"Uh-huh," Puck muttered, watching Quinn berate Finn for something.

Kurt frowned as Puck watched the blonde. He always managed to stare at Finn and still pay attention to Puck, yet as soon as the blonde was in his sightline lately, all he did was watch her. As Puck watched her leave in a huff with a heartbroken look, Kurt gently put his hand on top of Puck's nearest one. "She'll come around," Kurt said softly.

Puck snorted and shook his head, wheeling ahead of Kurt to reach the also wheelchair-bound Finn. Kurt frowned as he raced off but soon rolled on so he was just far enough behind them to hear what they were saying.

"…Sell your XBOX, rob a bank, go all Robin Hood on this join, whatever it takes," Puck exclaimed. Kurt frowned even more as he realized Puck was lecturing Finn in taking care of Quinn financially.

"Dude, all you ever do is whine about how hard it is for you, but what about her?" Puck nearly yelled, stopping Finn's chair with his own.

"You don't know what I'm dealing with," Finn fired back. Kurt could see a red flush on the back of his neck from anger as Puck berated him.

"All I know is that you're a  _punk_  who doesn't deserve having Quinn as his girlfriend," Puck snapped. Kurt's eyes widened as Finn shoved Puck. Then the shoves turned into Puck launching himself at Finn and Kurt eeped, his hands going to his mouth as he was frozen in his place. Noah was in fight club, sure, but he never fought anyone outside of the underground meetings, and to see Puck so out of control…it was unsettling.

"Noah, Finn, stop!" he said through his hands as he got out of his chair. His words fell on deaf ears, however, as the two kept fighting. Finn was on top of Puck, ready to punch his face when—

"Break it up, break it up!" Mr. Schue yelled, pulling apart the two teens, ignoring their shouts over who started it as he got them off the ground. Both boys stared daggers at each other as Kurt went around the teacher to Puck's side, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Now you guys are best friends," Kurt cleared his throat and Mr. Schue amended, " _Close_  friends. What the hell is going on?"

"I'm just really stressed…about the bake sale," Puck said. Kurt raised an eyebrow (Puck had made better excuses when he was eight, for crying out loud). "I just really like Artie, okay?"

Kurt gave him a sympathetic half smile for a second, knowing Puck wanted to say Quinn's name in place of Artie's. He reached out for his best friend but he stomped off, ignoring Kurt's slight gasp and hurt look.

After a few moments the rest of the hallway went on with normal activity. Will tentatively put a hand on Kurt's shoulder, but Kurt immediately moved away, turning to face him. He opened his mouth as if to say something but no words came out. Instead, he marched over to his abandoned chair and quickly rolled off, doing his best to focus on the solo, not how Quinn was tearing apart the most important friendship in his life.

—

"Hey, I don't think I'm going to go to the shop today; I wanna lift some weights and just clear my head for a bit," Puck said to Kurt as they wheeled off the stage after Glee club practice ended. Kurt nodded, not looking at his friend as they rolled to the choir room to store the chairs. Puck sighed slightly and stopped Kurt's chair with his own, not unlike how he stopped Finn's earlier that day. "I'm sorry for storming off earlier. I just have a lot on my plate right now." He brought Kurt's face up with his hand, making his friend hold eye contact with him. "I really want you to win that contest, though. I'm voting for you no matter what," he whispered, a small smile on his face.

Slowly, Kurt smiled back as well. "Thanks, Noah. I'm actually going to go practice for a while, make sure I can hit that note for sure."

Puck smiled widely, "It'll be no problem for you, I just know it." Kurt smiled in thanks as the two boys continued on to the choir room.

When Puck left, after bidding Kurt goodbye, he had to wonder why being with Kurt was always so much easier than being with Quinn. Why couldn't he just date Kurt? He laughed slightly and shook his head at his thoughts—why were they always so weird?

He wasn't smiling or laughing when his thoughts went back to Quinn. He just liked her  _so much._ And she totally liked him back. Why didn't she just let Hudson off the hook already? Why wasn't he good enough for her? Why couldn't he have a family with her? Because of his frustrated thoughts, he yelled slightly and kicked the nearest wall, the material hurting his foot. He let out a groan and put his arm on the wall, leaning his head against his flesh as he took calming breaths.

"Yo, Puck, what's wrong?"

Puck lifted his head up and turned slightly to see Artie wheeled up by him. He scoffed slightly, "Nothing you care about."

"Aw, but I always care about people who like me enough to have a throw down against Finn Hudson for me," Artie said with a teasing smile.

Puck gave a slight laugh and said, "Alright." He sat down at the bench nearby as Artie wheeled up to face him on the other side of the hall. "Since you wanted to know…" Artie nodded for him to continue. With a sigh, Puck said, "I…I like this person. A lot…"

"Yeah, I can totally relate," Artie nodded.

"Accept Tina totally likes you back—and don't give me that look, it's so obvious you want in her pants," Puck said with a slight smile.

"No way…thanks, man," Artie responded. Then he shook his head slightly, "This is about you. Now, what's the problem?"

Puck sighed, "It's just…I like them so much and it's just…they  _have_  to like me back. I'm the Puckasaurus, who doesn't want a piece of this? Okay, but really, we flirt  _all_  the time, and we have this great chemistry and…we have so much fun together. But they apparently like someone else. And it's  _frustrating_. It's like I'm being led on. Why can't we just be together, screw the other guy, y'know?"

Artie smiled at the rant. "Puck, I'm pretty sure they like you, too, don't worry about it. And don't give me that look, it's obvious who you want in your pants," he added.

Puck looked up at him, his elbows on his thighs. "You think so?"

"No doubt," Artie replied with a nod. "And I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who realizes you like each other, so don't flip out. Being in a wheelchair just makes you recognize things others don't, I guess. So, just give it time, y'know? Kurt just needs to accept tha—"

"Wait,  _what_?" Puck asked, his eyebrows scrunching together.

"Just because Kurt's gay doesn't mean he automatically accepts liking all guys. I mean, you've always been friends, so it must be weird—"

"I don't like  _Kurt_ ," Puck yelled as he stood up. "What the  _hell_ , Artie, why would you even think that?" Artie tried to say an explanation but Puck immediately cut him off, "God, Artie, I thought I could trust you with this and you turn out as stupid as the jocks…" Puck trailed off as he groaned in frustration, a hand running through his Mohawk in an attempt to calm himself down (that simple touch always calmed him down and he never knew why).

"Hey, Puckerman, whatchyu doing with the cripple?"

Puck's bottom jaw thrust out and his hands clenched into fists as he turned around. "You guys kind of have the worst timing. Just beat it."

"Aww, giving us the lines the faggot gives you at night?" Azimio laughed, Karofsky immediately high fiving him.

"Don't you call him that," Puck said through gritted teeth.

"Why not, don't want us insulting your boyfriend?"

Puck felt blood rush to his head until he could only see red, his fists clenching and his heart hammering. "I am not fucking dating Kurt, you fucking  _assholes_. Do you want proof? Is that it? Do you fucking idiots need me to be dickwads like you for proof? Is that it? Well fine. I will fucking prove it to you in your own fucking backwards way. Gimme that."

He took Karofsky's phone that was resting his hand and called a familiar number. He put it on speaker as it rang, Artie, Karofsky, and Azimio all watching him with looks of fear, curiosity, and confusion.

"Hummel's Tire and Lube, who is this?"

"Your son's a fag," Puck said before hanging up.

He handed the phone back to Karofsky as he slowly realized what he just did. Karofsky and Azimio had looks of shock on their faces (Karofsky looking a bit  _hurt_  even; when fuck did he get a heart?) whereas Artie looked disappointed.

"I…I…I told you I didn't like him," Puck muttered. He hurriedly put his bag on his shoulder and walked out of the hall, his hand running through his Mohawk all the while. What the fuck did he just do?

—

"I hit it! The high F!" Kurt said breathlessly as he helped his dad with the coffee maker. "The magical note I need for 'Defying Gravity'. It means I'm going to win!"

"That's good for you, just how long until the damn coffee's ready," Burt asked rhetorically, hitting the machine as he walked away.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked, still on a bit of a rush from hitting the note.

Burt turned back to face his son, "I got a phone call this morning. The anonymous kind." Kurt's face deflated and Burt hated being the cause of it. "Telling me my son was a fag."

"Oh…well, that's not a big deal; I get that all the time," Kurt said, not understanding the issue past the world being full of jerks.

"Yeah, but I don't. And Kurt I…I try to do right by you, it's what a father should do, but I don't want you to get hurt," Burt said, avoiding the most troubling part of the call.

"So…so you don't want me to audition?"

"No, no, let me be clear, no one pushes the Hummel's around, not even…not even cowards on the phone. Sometimes I just wish your mom was around…she was better at handling everything," Burt sighed, not sure what he was saying. "But…congrats on your cool A or High C or whatever." Kurt corrected him quietly and Burt gave a nod, walking away.

When Burt reached his office, he collapsed into his chair, rubbing his temples. Noah must have just been working around him so much he was hearing his voice everywhere. There was no way he was the one who made that call…

—

"Welcome everyone to the Glee club's first official Diva Off!" Mr. Schue said. He brought up Rachel and Kurt and re-explained the rules of the competition before letting Rachel open it up.

Kurt watched Rachel closely. She had an amazing voice, there was no denying it, but she lacked the emotional depth of it. The notes came out with ease but there was no struggle, emotion, no  _need_  to defy gravity.

Kurt had that.

But his mind was made up. And not even wanting to outdo Rachel, to show her he could convey emotions  _and_  hit a high F could stop him.

When he started the piece, he saw Mercedes smiling up at him. He gave a weak smile back and started the piece, purposefully not looking at Noah in case a look at him would convince him not to blow it.

He found it strange how hard it was to actually blow off the note, to close his throat up so the sound was caught in his larynx. It took lots of practice the day before to perform the song fine up until the climax. It was difficult, it was hard, it hurt his throat and heart, but when the note came, he let it tear at his vocal chords.

When he finished, he gave a small smile but looked at no one as he sat down primly with Rachel, her eyes studying him as if she knew. Kurt simply crossed his legs and stared into the wall, not even blinking when Mr. Schuester announced that Rachel won.

The bell rang shortly after and Kurt left before anyone could ask what happened.

—

Now if Puck actually went to a psychologist, he or she would've told him how when he got upset, he started to rely more and more on the illegal deeds and the reputation he had and less on people like Kurt and his family. But Puck didn't go to a psychologist, so he just stole the money from the bake sale without a moment's thought. When he got Quinn's attention near her locker, he said, "I got this for you. Well, it's for it."

" _It_  is a she," Quinn said slowly, watching Puck's face.

"Cool," Puck said, a smile slowly forming. Quinn had to admit to herself it had to be one the most blissful looks she had ever seen. "Told you I wasn't a deadbeat…and I can get more! I can get more and…and we can get a house…and a crib…furniture…we can be a family."

"Finn is one of your closest friends—"

"We're not that close," Puck interrupted. "Just because we're both in Glee and in sports doesn't mean we're close."

"Well, maybe so, but you  _are_  close to Kurt; Kurt's your family," Quinn responded quietly. "He's been your friend for years and he knows more about you than your mom or sister do, I'm sure. You have a sister, a mom, and a surrogate father and the most reliable best friend in the world. Why do you want this baby so bad?"

Puck studied her as he tried to figure out what to say. "Kurt's my best friend, yeah, but I don't want to see my kid grow up without his real father just like I had to. Just take the money, Finn will be relieved when he realizes he doesn't have to do this stuff."

Quinn looked at the money and realization hit her. "You stole from the cupcake fund!"

"No I didn't," Puck said immediately. One eyebrow raise from Quinn cracked him, "Fine, I did, but when I get my pay check this week I'll pay part of it back. But I made those cupcakes. I'm all about being a team player but my family comes first."

Quinn looked at Puck sadly. "I'm sorry…for calling you a Lima Loser. You aren't one. But we can't steal money from our friend in a wheelchair," Quinn said, fixing his shirt. "Now go help Kurt. He needs it."

—

"Hey, Dad, what are you doing?"

"Making biscuits, what does it look like I'm doing?" Burt answered as he looked up from the tires in front of him. "How'd the audition go?"

"They gave the part to Rachel," Kurt said, dreading the explanation he was going to have to make. Before his dad could get too far, he simply said, "I blew the note."

Burt couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I stuck my neck out for you and you blew the note? Are you kidding me?" He sat down and looked at his kid in disbelief. "This isn't Noah pressuring you or anything, is it?"

"What? Dad, no, of course not, why would it be his doing?" Kurt took a deep breath and started, "I've known who I was since I was five, Dad, and I've adapted. Being different has made me stronger. Those times when Noah wasn't there to help me, when he was getting in trouble or doing sports and I was by myself, I grew into it and became stronger from being different. It doesn't hurt when people call me names because of that. And you never had to do that."

"I can handle myself."

"No you can't," Kurt said simply, keeping his eyes locked with his dad's. "That phone call yesterday is just the start of it, especially if I go up in front of a thousand people to sing a girl's song. When I saw you after the phone call and you were so hurt…so upset…it just killed me.

"I'm not hiding in the closet; I'm proud of who I am. I just love you more than I love being a star," Kurt finished.

"You are your mother, you know that? She was always the strong one…" Burt stood up and said shakily, "Wanna help me put a 195 on this bad boy?"

"Just let me put on my coveralls, this is a McQueen," Kurt said, turning to go to the changing room. Then he turned back and asked, "Why did you ask about Noah earlier?"

"It's…it's nothing, Kurt," Burt stuttered.

"No, Dad, it's obviously something. Why don't you trust him? I thought you were one of the few people who trusted him in this whole town, who knew his true heart. I thought you even accepted him getting Quinn pregnant," Kurt said. "You're not turning your back on him when he needs it most, are you?"

Burt rubbed his eyes and said, "I'm not, Kurt."

"Then tell me why you asked… _please_ ," Kurt whispered, worried.

Burt sighed and went back to sit in the chair he was in earlier, gesturing for Kurt to sit down opposite him. "The call we got yesterday? Well, we don't have caller ID or anything here, but that doesn't mean I don't recognize voices and…and that sounded a hell of a lot like Noah."

Kurt felt his world crash down to the ground. He was suddenly slightly dizzy and his stomach felt ready to vomit everything he had for lunch. His eyes stung and his face was cold, all blood leaving his face in shock and pain. It made sense why Puck had avoided him the whole day but…

"No," Kurt whispered. Burt looked up at him. "There's…there's no way. Noah would never hurt me—or you—like that. No. Y-you're wrong."

"I might be, Kurt, I'm just saying—"

"He wouldn't hurt me like that. No. He loves me, he's my best friend, he…he…" Kurt bit his lips into a thin line, holding back his tears. Standing up quickly, he said, "I-I got to go. I…I just need to…" He took his keys and left without another explanation, wiping his eyes on his hand as Burt watched him helplessly.

What was he supposed to do when one of his son's biggest support systems crashed around him?

—

Puck answered the door without looking at who it was. When he found Kurt hugging himself, his face scrunched up from holding tears, he almost wished he hadn't answered at all, a sense of doom in his stomach. "Kurt, come in, Ma and Sara aren't here—"

"Noah. Dad said he go a phone call yesterday, the anonymous kind. The kind the pointed out the obvious that his son is a  _faggot_ ," Kurt spat out the word, not looking up. Puck winced at Kurt's emphasis but didn't interrupt, as much as he wanted to hold him, make it better, make him know he was above that word. "It's why I blew the note today. It's why I let Rachel win something that I wanted more than anything. But my dad…he says that the voice sounded like you." He finally looked up and made eye contact with his best friend, his blue-green eyes piercing into Noah like they always did. "Now why would my dad think that?"

He wanted to lie. He wanted to tell Kurt that it must've been someone else. He wanted to say that the caller must've been some idiot jock.

He wanted to say that Kurt wasn't best friends with a complete idiot.

"I…It was me," Puck whispered, the eyes of his best friend wearing him down so much that he had to look down at the floor.

A broken sob left Kurt's mouth before he could stop, soon followed by tears and shuddering breaths as he fell completely apart. Puck watched and felt a few tears at his own eyes; he hadn't seen Kurt that hurt, that broken since his mom's funeral. And then Puck realized something: he had become such an important person in Kurt's life that they really  _were_  family. And he had broken himself out of that family by his actions. He was as dead as Kate Hummel.

Puck reached out and grabbed Kurt's arm, wanting to somehow make it better, but Kurt threw him off. "You fucking  _asshole_ ," he cried out. Puck's blood ran cold; Kurt  _never_  swore like that, and definitely never at him. "Don't you  _ever_  touch me,  _Puck_." Another cold stab hit Puck's heart; Kurt never called him  _Puck_  unless he was joking. He wasn't even Noah to him anymore, he was now the idiot, Lima Loser jock named Puck.

"Kurt, I'm sorry, I am—"

"I don't care,  _Puck_ ," Puck felt the stab in his heart again, "I was the only one who always believed in you, who always loved you, who never judged you. And you repay me like  _this_. Just…fuck you, Puck." He gave a hollow laugh, "I'm so mad I can't even use your full name." Kurt sniffed slightly before leaving the doorway, not looking back as he got in his car and drove away.

—

"Kurt, you have a visitor," Burt called down into the basement.

"They can come down here," Kurt called back, not wanting to leave his bed. He barely had since he got back from Puck's the day before anyways.

Burt looked over and Kurt's friend and called back down, "Uh, not really."

Kurt raised an eyebrow at this but managed to pull himself out of bed. For once he didn't care how he looked, his eyes puffy and red, his hair sticking in all directions, and his pajamas askew on his body. When he reached the top of the stairs, he did a double take. "Artie?"

"Hey, Kurt," Artie greeted. "I thought I'd see what was wrong when you didn't show up for school today."

"…I'll leave you two alone," Burt muttered after an awkward silence.

"Artie, what are you doing here?" Kurt asked as he sat down on the couch, Artie wheeling himself over to face him.

"I want to talk to you about Puck."

Kurt immediately closed his eyes, "No. I'm not talking about him."

"No, Kurt, seriously, hear me out," Artie said, holding out his hands. "I…I was there when the call was made."

"Artie—"

"He didn't want to make it. He was being rash. He was upset and I was trying to comfort him and help him but I just made him angrier—I really think only you know how to comfort him," he paused as Kurt gave the faintest of smiles, Kurt oddly proud that only he knew how to comfort his best friend. "And then Karofsky and Azimio came in and being their usual selves but Puck was so frustrated that he just took their phone and made the call just like they'd been egging him on to do all week from what I gathered. And I know what he said was wrong—trust me, I know what it's like to have slurs thrown at you for something you can't control—but he looked so… _crushed_  afterwards. And he was miserable today. He didn't even take the offers Santana kept throwing at him. He regrets it more than you could believe."

Kurt thought silently for a few moments before finally voicing, "What do you want me to do, Artie?"

"Forgive him," Kurt scoffed at him so he continued, "I know what he did was wrong—he does, too—but are you really going to throw away how many years of friendship, years of being damn near a  _family_  over a stupid mistake?" When Kurt remained silent, Artie said, "You can always hold this over his head to get a few bribes out of him."

Kurt gave a slight laugh. "Artie…I'll think about it."

"All I needed to hear," Artie said with a smile. "Well, my dad is waiting for me, I got myself a date."

"Tell Tina I said hi."

Artie shook his head with a smile, "Puck guessed, too." For two people who didn't know how in love they were they sure could tell relationships between their friends.

"Good luck," Kurt said, smiling as Artie wheeled away, his dad opening the door for him. After he heard the front door close, he yelled out, "So, what do you think, Dad?"

Burt chuckled slightly at Kurt knowing he was eavesdropping; his son knew him too well. Sitting down with Kurt on the couch, he wrapped an arm around him. "I think you need to do what feels right…but you also need to forgive Puck. He's never messed up this big before. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to give him a whole lecture on not using those words, but it's hard for me to stay mad at him after all you've been through. And at least he wasn't saying them to you." Burt sighed, "It's complicated."

Kurt nodded next to him, thinking over his words. "Well," Burt said, standing up and patting Kurt on the leg, "I'm ordering pizza for dinner."

A beat or two later, Kurt called after him, "Low fat cheese and only get ham if you want meat." Burt laughed. Yeah, his son was going to be okay.

—

"Kurt," Puck said in surprise when the boy greeted him at his locker.

"Hey…can we talk?" Puck nodded and was soon led to an empty classroom.

They stood in silence for a moment before Kurt finally said, "What you did was wrong."

"I know, and I'm sorry."

"And I can't just let it slide completely."

"Of course not."

"But I don't want to lose my best friend over this. You're too important to me and I already lost my mom. I don't want to lose you. You're family to me, Noah."

Puck smiled at the sound of his first name in Kurt's voice. It sounded so much better than  _Puck_  did in his lyrical voice. "You're family to me too, Kurt. I'm sorry I didn't realize how much until now."

Kurt smiled at him, "Just know that you're buying the Blockbuster rentals for the next few months…maybe years."

"Whatever it takes," Puck said sincerely. They both smiled at each other for a few moments until Puck finally pulled him into a hug. When they pulled apart, Kurt hit Puck upside the head.

"You're an idiot."

"I know."

Kurt laughed slightly at Puck's straightforward answer and grabbed his hand, leading him out of the room. "Come on. You're buying me lunch."


	8. The River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt may be on his way to forgiving Puck for his major screw up, but Mercedes sure as hell isn't. Rewrite of "Ballads".

"So Puck calls you… _that word_ —"

"Well, technically he just tells my dad that I'm  _that word_ ," Kurt interjected as he put his books into his locker.

"Right. Well, he is talking about you and uses that word, a word that is completely, horribly offensive, but you've forgiven him already? Not only that, you forgave him after a day?" Mercedes asked. "I'm sorry, Kurt, but that's just crazy. He hurt you and you just let him go."

"No, I was being a forgiving person," Kurt sighed. Closing his locker, he looked at her, "I know it's weird, maybe even stupid, because I know if anyone else but Noah said it I would need a lot more convincing to forgive them. But Noah…he's my life. I know he messed up, and he's not  _completely_  forgiven, it's just…there's no point holding hate in my heart, especially against the person who has been a huge part of my life for as long as I've had one."

Mercedes rolled her eyes and huffed, "Fine. Just don't expect me to forgive him right away, if ever."

Kurt gave a crooked smile, "Thanks, 'Cedes."

—

"Mercedes," Puck read from the Hat of Fate. Mercedes let out a frustrated sigh, but Puck did his best to stay positive, not wanting to break the thin ice he was on with Kurt (it may have been thickening every day but no need to risk it).

"Maybe now you'll see how Noah's not a bad guy," Kurt suggested in a whisper with a bright smile as Puck headed back to his seat.

"Doubt it," Mercedes shot back.

Puck sat back down and put his arm around the back of Kurt's chair and gave a head nod to Mercedes. The other teen ignored him and glared at the wall. Noah groaned internally; Mercedes had been cold to him ever since the phone incident and it sucked since they weren't particularly close before, just friends because they both loved Kurt, but  _God_ , this project was going to suck if she insisted on acting like this.

When Finn pulled Kurt's name out of the hat, Puck and Mercedes both turned and smiled at Kurt. Seeing the similar reaction in the other, they rolled their eyes and looked in opposite directions. Kurt simply sat with a stunned smile on his face, his heart fluttering. He wanted to talk to Finn and help him and get closer to him for months but had been too concerned with how Noah was taking it to help. Now he had a legitimate reason to get closer to him.

This was going to be the best week  _ever_.

—

"This is going to be the worst week  _ever_ ," Puck grumbled as he waited for Mercedes to meet him in the choir room. The girl was already somewhat diva-ish—not that Puck minded since she was funny enough and kept things real—but now she was pissed at him and wouldn't give him the time of day. He just wanted to get the project over with so he could go on with his life but she didn't seem to be interested in spending time with him at all, even just to get the project over with.

When she finally got to the choir room, they only had a few minutes left until their free period was over. Puck told her to go ahead and sing her song for him. He looked at her as was required by the project, but zoomed out on other thoughts—Quinn and Kurt, mainly, and winning their trusts. By the end of the piece, he couldn't even remember what it was since he was focusing intently on his own problems. Much to both of their chagrins, they set up a time to meet later in the week for Puck to sing his song to her.

After they left the choir room, he grumbled and grabbed some books from his locker. He spotted Finn and Kurt leaving from the theater, Kurt looking exhilarated as Finn sported his usual half-smile. Catching up to Kurt as Finn went in another direction, Puck asked, "When's the wedding?"

"I was thinking that with my skin tone I should stick to winter colors, so how about next week?"

"Aw, I won't have enough time to throw you a bachelor party," Puck said in mock sadness. He then laughed but Kurt just watched Finn go off.

"I really do love him," Kurt whispered.

"I know," Puck whispered back, patting his hand on Kurt's shoulder pads. He wasn't sure Finn was the right guy for Kurt, but all he could hope was that Finn didn't break his best friend's heart.

—

Kurt couldn't believe his luck. He was at  _Finn Hudson's_  house. As in the guy he was in love with Finn Hudson, not some random guy named Finn Hudson. Finnifer Hudson. Finntastic Hudson. inFinnity and Beyond Hudson.

Okay, his brain really needed to shut up, but he couldn't help it, he was so excited and nervous and happy. He may have only been there to help with an outfit, but if he was there to support him, who was to say that he couldn't help Finn if he had a gay crisis or when Quinn dumped him or if he realized he was in love with one Kurt Elizabeth Hummel?

And who said he wasn't allowed to dream?

So it wasn't his best idea, but when Finn talked about wanting to be brave like his father, Kurt had to help him. Finn using his voice as a weapon would be great; he'd be confident in there, show them the charm that made Kurt fall in love with him.

"But…what song would I sing?"

Kurt tilted his head to the side, "Well that depends; what do you want to tell them?"

Finn's eyebrows scrunched together like they always did when he thought (which Kurt found  _completely_  adorable), "I want to show them that I love Quinn. And…I…I want to stop hiding the baby from her parents, it's not cool."

At first Kurt wanted to warn that he shouldn't use singing to tell them that, but he stopped himself. If Finn did this, Quinn's parents would _definitely_  make her break up with him, leaving her free to go with Puck and Finn would be crying into his shoulder pads, realize how perfect Kurt was for him, and he would get his happy ending to. Then they'd all go to New York City, have lavish weddings, and grow old together, just like the people on  _Friends_  and  _How I Met Your Mother_ ; they were always happy, right?

"Have you ever heard of Paul Anka?"

—

"Mercedes, finally!" Puck said as she entered the room.

"Yeah, I'm here, now can we get this over with?"

Puck frowned as they sat down. Then he looked her straight in the eye. "Look, it's not my fault we're partnered together—"

"Like how Kurt seems to think it's not your fault that you did what you did," Mercedes said with her lips pursed bitchily.

"He may say that but I sure as hell don't," Puck reasoned.

"You know, you really,  _really_  hurt him and yet he forgives you just like that," she snapped a finger. "Says you have stuff on your plate, but don't we all? I mean, we all are swamped with school work and Glee club pressure, not to mention—"

"That's nothing," Puck said through gritted teeth, trying to hold his temper.

Mercedes glared down at him, "Then what is it, Puck? What is so difficult for you right now? Is Santana not hooking up with you? Do a few less Cheerios worship you now that you're in Glee club?"

"Well, for one, let's try the fact that I'm queer and as unacceptable as it is for Kurt to like guys, it's even more unacceptable for jocks like me," Puck burst out. There was a moment of silence as he realized what he said, cursing himself all the while.

Mercedes looked at him, "Wait…you're gay?"

"No," Puck said after a long silence. "Bi or pan or queer or something, I still like pussy," he ignored Mercedes' groan at the word, "But I like cock, too."

"…How…how long has Kurt known?"

"For almost months now," Puck said, sitting down and resting his elbows on his thighs. "He's the one who taught me all those words anyways," he added with a slight laugh. "So all those jocks' jokes at Kurt upset me because he's my best friend, but also because I'm what they make fun of."

"That doesn't make it right."

"Yeah, trust me, I know," Puck mumbled, massaging his temples.

The diva kept studying Puck until finally saying, "So that's it? That's your big problem? I know it's hard to come to terms with things like that, but you've also grown up with Kurt your whole life. Look on the Brightside: at least you aren't Finn, trying to get money for a baby—"

"Do  _not_  bring up that baby with me," Puck nearly yelled, scaring Mercedes enough to shut her up for a few seconds. "Finn gets everything, the girl, the family, the sympathy—"

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Puck took a deep breath to calm down and make sure he really wanted to say what he was thinking. But he had to; he was tired of only Kurt and Burt knowing, being his only support system. "Finn's not the father; I am."

Mercedes eyed him for several long moments of silence, studying the teen. Then she finally said, "You may be the baby's daddy, but Quinn chose Finn to be the father, not you; if she's not letting you get involved with the case, then don't mess with it, just enjoy the fact that you don't have to grow up at such a young age."

Puck remained silent and shook his head; there was no way Mercedes would understand his need to be the father his dad never was. He was beginning to think no one but Kurt would understand it, how it hurt to have someone you loved so much leave you at such a young age.

When Puck didn't say anything for several moments, Mercedes rolled her eyes and left the choir room in a huff. She pulled out her cell phone and called Tina; she couldn't complain about Puck to his best friend after all.

—

"You told  _Tina_  about the baby?" Kurt yelled from behind Mercedes, his girl jumping into the air at the sound.

"Kurt, you scared me—"

"Well you might have just ruined Noah's life," Kurt shot back. At her confused face he rolled his eyes and brought her into a spare classroom. "You told Tina. With both of you knowing, everyone in the whole school will probably know what position they had it in at his rate."

"I'm sorry, Kurt, I really am," Mercedes pleaded sincerely. "I didn't mean to tell Tina, it just sort of happened."

"Just stop it, 'Cedes, okay? You told Tina because you're still mad at Noah—which I understand, I still have some anger towards him—and you want him to hurt like he hurt me. I get that," Kurt ranted. "But soon everyone in New Directions, if not the whole school, will know his secret. And his life is ruined because of it. People already think he's a player, that he doesn't care about girls, but he really does. And now he'll be considered an even bigger loser for and, just, damn it Mercedes. I'm honored that you want to protect me, but, let's face it: if I didn't forgive people for wronging me for no reason, we wouldn't even be friends right now." With that, Kurt stormed out of the room, leaving an upset but thoughtful Mercedes behind.

—

"…Puck?" Mercedes asked tentatively as she entered the choir room. "I'm glad you came." Puck merely shrugged, Mercedes frowning ever so slightly. "Look, Puck…I'm sorry. I've realized I don't really have the right to condemn you for what you did to Kurt if he forgave you. You hurt him, and he forgave you, and it's not my business what you did."

They were both silent for a while until Puck finally smiled slightly, "Thanks, Mercedes. I appreciate it."

"You can call me 'Cedes if you want; all my other friends do," she responded with a grin.

Puck laughed slightly and nodded, "'Cedes it is." He stood up from his chair and grabbed his guitar, "So, I want to do my part of the project before Mr. Schue gets mad at us for not completing it." Mercedes sat down in a chair, Puck standing in front of her. "Now, I can't play the harmonica, so Springsteen will have to forgive me for this." Mercedes gave a soft smile before he started.

Playing a chord to get his note, Puck started singing an intro on  _Ah_. Then he slowly started to sing, " _I come from down in the valley where, mister, when you're young they bring you up to do like your daddy done. Me and Mary we met in high school when she was just seventeen. We'd ride out of that valley down to where the fields were green." He paused slightly before coming back in at a slightly faster tempo, "We'd go down to the river and into the river we'd dive. Oh down to the river we'd ride._

" _Then I got Mary pregnant and man that was all she wrote and for my nineteenth birthday I got a union card and a wedding coat. We went down to the courthouse and the judge put it all to rest; no wedding day smiles, no walk down the aisle, no flowers, no wedding dress. That night we went down to the river and into the river we'd dive. Oh down to the river we did ride…_ "

Puck continued the song, trying his best to make eye contact with Mercedes like the assignment said. He tried to communicate how he felt about the whole situation, to let the song tell his story. When he finally finished, he looked down at the floor for a moment before looking up and giving Mercedes a half-smile.

"Wow," she said quietly. "That was great."

"It really was," a quiet voice said from the doorway. Mercedes and Puck turned to see Kurt standing there. "Sorry," he said as he walked in, "I know this wasn't supposed to be with other people, but I was walking by and heard your voice so I had to drop in."

"It's cool, Kurt," Puck said, Mercedes nodding behind him.

"So…did you mean it?" Kurt asked.

Puck put down the guitar and rubbed his eyes. "I mean that I love her, but I don't want her to have that life. I want her to be happy; I want to learn from that guy's life."

"So maybe you really shouldn't be with her?"

He froze for a moment before saying, "I have to give it a chance though. She doesn't have to marry me or anything if it doesn't work out but…I just want something with her; I want her to be happy...I love her, Kurt." Kurt nodded before pulling Puck into a hug, not noticing the thoughtful look on Mercedes' face.

"I'm officially over the phone incident now," Kurt added as Puck squeezed him close. Puck smiled widely and swayed them quickly.

"Why are you here, Kurt? Aren't you supposed to be working with Finn? People will be here any minute to get ready to sing to Quinn and Finn. Wasn't I supposed to get you after the rest of them got here so you'd bring Finn?" Mercedes asked.

Kurt pulled apart and nervously looked at Puck. "I…I think I messed things up for everyone." He sighed and continued, "I told Finn if he wanted some confidence when he met Quinn's parents, he should sing; it's like his weapon. And he said he didn't want to lie about the pregnancy anymore and I figured, hey, why don't we try to get this to work for Puck and me. So, I figured if he told them in song that Quinn was pregnant, they'd make him break up with her and she would be free to date you and then I could go after Finn since we've gotten closer this week and…and…they kicked her out instead."

Puck and Mercedes stared at Kurt for several moments, mouths slightly gaping. "Wh-What? Where is she? Where did she go?"

Kurt looked down at the floor and muttered, "Finn's."

Puck slowly collapsed into a nearby chair, not sure what to think. He knew Kurt didn't mean it, but he pushed Finn and Quinn closer and  _fuck_ Quinn's life just sucked now and hearing about her in that sort of shit...it hurt.

"If it helps, I know that all that time together will eventually pull them apart," Kurt explained quickly, "And she'll have…she…she…I'm sorry, Puck, I guess I'm used to my dad being so accepting I never thought someone would really throw out their kid and…I'm an idiot, I'm sorry. I don't blame you for hating me."

Slowly, Puck looked up at Kurt. "I don't hate you, Kurt. You made a mistake. And you forgave me for being an ass, so I don't think you deserve hate. I think we'll just have to wait and see how it pans out."

Kurt smiled. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Of course," Puck said, standing up. A second later, Kurt threw himself into another hug. "I love you, Kurt, you know that."

"I love you, too," Kurt whispered.

"Now, c'mon, let's go get Hudson; everyone else should be here any minute." The two boys started walking out the door when Kurt turned back, "Coming 'Cedes?"

Mercedes shook her head, "No, I'm good." She watched the other two leave before thinking things over. The only time she hurt Kurt, attacked him/his windshield, was because she thought she was in love with him and that he was in love with Rachel. The only time Puck hurt Kurt was because…was it because he was in love with Kurt?

Of course when Kurt came out he expected it, but her theories were soon dismissed in her head as she got to know them. But that didn't explain the intensity of how they acted/felt around each other, how they smiled when the other was there, how they forgave each other easier than most friends did…

They were in love.

Mercedes gave a small, disbelieving laugh as some of the members of ND started trickling in. Those two were completely, head-over-heels in love with each other. And they didn't even realize.

Her friends were complete  _idiots_. Snorting slightly, she stood up and went to her starting spot, waiting for Finn and Quinn to be escorted in. Things were going to be interesting for her to watch now.


	9. Wigs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One wig has the opportunity to change the course of an entire friendship. Apparently Kurt looks really good as a blonde.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewrite of "Hairography".

Puck snorted, "Dude, that is the most ridiculous wig  _ever_."

"Oh please, you know I look hot in it," Kurt sniffed, flipping his hair off his shoulder snidely. Then he burst into a smile, "I've never been able to do that before!" His best friend's laughter just caused him to roll his eyes as he said, "Whatever, I still look fine in this, right, 'Cedes?" Mercedes, in stereotypical fashion, gave an  _mmhmm_  and slapped him five, both of them snapping as they pulled their hands back.

"Kurt...you realize you're white, right?"

"Yes, and definitely a very good blonde," he added, studying his face in the compact he had just pulled out of the bag. At Noah's scoffing, Kurt insisted, "It's hot."

—

Puck walked into Glee club to find Quinn bent over the piano, looking at some sheet music. Smirking, he watched her ass move with the taps of her foot, nice and round and plain delicious. He quietly walked over to see her, standing right behind her as he put his hands on her hips, feeling her stiffen slightly in shock.

"So, you ready for babysitting, baby?"

"…Noah if this is your way of asking me to watch Sara while you and Quinn go off together, I think you could've been more subtle."

Eyes widening as he jumped back, Puck swore internally.

He was with  _Kurt_. He was admiring  _his_  ass and  _his_  hips and just basically grinded into him.

Kurt turned around hesitantly, fingers curling the fake blonde hair. "I got here early and Mr. Schue told me to just go ahead and get ready—"

"Never happened."

Nodding fervently, Kurt agreed, "Never happened."

Puck ran a hand through his Mohawk as he quickly walked out of the choir room, finally letting his head fall back against the wall. Fuck, the whole hairography assignment was going to mess with his head, wasn't it?

—

Puck glared as Kurt and Quinn ran over the newest hairography dance moves together, laughing as Kurt barely managed to hold up Quinn with one hand like he was supposed to. "I honestly don't know why they put the smallest guy with the pregnant girl…no offense, but honestly Rachel would've been easier and better for me to hold," Kurt said after they ran the move so much Kurt was sure he could hold her in his sleep.

"Yeah, well, Man Hands will be getting a lift from you soon, won't she?" Quinn said slightly tersely.

Kurt nodded as they walked over to their bags for bottled water, Puck in the chairs behind the bags. "Of course, of course," Kurt insisted, "She'll get the full Kurt Hummel treatment. I cannot  _wait_  to pluck those eyebrows."

Quinn giggled softly as she opened her water, downing about half of it in a gulp. "I need to go now; make sure Finn remembered where he parked," she said with a roll of her eyes. After saying  _goodbye_  to Kurt, she turned to Puck and added, "Hey, Puck." She smiled at him, looking up at him through her eyelashes before grabbing her bag and walking out of the choir room.

"Thanks for staying after practice to run this!" Kurt called after her.

"No problem, just rock the project like we talked about!"

Kurt collapsed into the chair next to Puck, opening his water bottle and drinking from it. "Sorry you didn't get paired up with her, Noah."

Puck's eyes finally left the doorway Quinn walked out of, "What? No, it's fine, I'm not mad or anything."

"Yeah, that was just someone else waiting for a ride home from me with a glare in his eyes," Kurt said, rolling his eyes and standing back up. Offering a hand to Puck, he helped his best friend to his feet. "Don't worry, Noah; everything will work out perfectly fine. And at least you don't have to worry about some other guy getting hard while she has to hump him." Puck chuckled slightly as they grabbed their bags and walked out of the room, hand in intertwined hand as they searched for Kurt's car.

—

Normally, things that happened between Puck and Kurt never were avoided as topics of conversation, but every since that day when Puck mistook Kurt's ass for Quinn's, Puck hadn't brought it up since. It wasn't like they were avoiding each other or weren't friends anymore or anything like that, but he just felt like he couldn't talk to Kurt about it. And what was worse is that he really felt so lost about it; was Quinn not as special as he thought? Was Kurt's ass better than he thought?

Had it been that long since he had gotten action?

So yeah, it was a horrible idea, but when Santana sent that first message, talking about being wet and touching herself, Puck responded. Sexting some other girl up while he was supposed to be helping the girl he got pregnant watch over the three evil children she was babysitting may have been cruel, but he just needed that little boost, a reminder that despite what Quinn was doing, he could still make girls go crazy for him, a reminder that he was a horny beast, a reminder that an ass to fuck was just another ass to fuck, no other emotion besides love behind it.

But as Puck watched Quinn sing for the three redheaded demons of Hell, playing his guitar for her accompaniment, he smirked. How the fuck did he mistake her ass for Kurt's? True, there were some similarities and why the Hell the other boys gave Kurt the blonde wig was beyond him, but Quinn's ass was  _her_  ass, not Kurt's.

And when he got home that night, Quinn's ass was still on his mind. Could anyone blame him? She freaking  _bent over_  while she was singing; her ass was basically in his face for crying out loud. And it's not like she let him even kiss her anymore.

So, ignoring Sara's blaring of some Britney Spears album from her room (honestly, Kurt needed to stop spoiling her by buying things like that), Puck let his eyes drift close as his hand went lower until it finally reached his cock. Stroking lightly, he imagined Quinn spinning around and dancing, her blonde hair whipping around her head, only her full, pink lips occasionally seen around her hair.

Letting his inner eye take over, he watched her go down to her knees, her hair over her face, like that hairography they were doing in Glee club, her lips visible as she took him in, tongue swirling along the head and the underside of his shaft. But before he could thrust into the hot, wet cavern of Quinn's mouth, the scene changed to the empty choir room, Quinn leaning forward onto the piano.

Puck smirked as he held the base of his erection; this was about to get good. He wanted to try sex in public many times but never had a chance. God his inner eye was a fucking bad ass. Her hips seemed smaller, his mind seeming to have decided to go the pre-pregnancy route, which he appreciated just as much, especially when he imagined that wonderful ass back in her Cheerios uniform.

Her hair still down and swept all over the place, Puck imagined himself saying, "Someone's a naughty, little Cheerio, letting her hair hang down. Guess I gotta punish you for it." Her head just nodded slightly as she lowered the skirt down to reveal her beautiful, pale ass, sticking it out further.

Puck chuckled and pulled back his hand and letting it slap against her skin, her body jerking forward as a slightly pink handprint could be made out on her skin. He smirked and smacked her again, the skin turning even pinker. Again, again, and again, moans started leaving her mouth as Puck spanked her.

After several slaps—Puck lost count of how many—he pulled his hand back. "You nice and wet, baby?" he whispered in her ear. She nodded quickly and pushed her ass back. "Wait, do you want me to fuck you there? Have your tight little ass filled with my cock? That's what you want?" She nodded quickly, a small whimper escaping her throat. Puck smirked, "Well, Princess, let's get started."

From his limited experience of actually having anal and his large experience of watching porn, Puck knew the importance of stretching and all that shit, but, c'mon, fantasy time, he wasn't going to take time for that when he could imagine just being inside her already. So there he was, Quinn bent over the piano with his cock inside her tight little ass, her hips pushing back, begging for more.

Grabbing her hips, he said harshly, "I'm going to fuck your tight little virgin ass, make you come from my big cock filling you up like the bad little Cheerio you are." She moaned a high pitch noise and the fantasy Puck started thrusting, the real Puck tightening his hand to imitate the feel of her ass as he stroked.

As he continued to thrust, he noticed the front of her skirt was still up so, in one fell swoop, he pulled her skirt down to her knees, eyeing the wet spot in the spanx part of it as it fell. "Oh God, baby, nice and wet for me? God you're so hot, want some help with that?"

"Y-yes," she said, talking for the first time in the fantasy. Puck frowned; that didn't sound like Quinn. But keeping his deal, he reached down for her clit—Oh, God, that wasn't a pussy there, oh God, no it couldn't be—

Grabbing the person's hair, he felt it move slightly, obviously a wig, but the guy turned around anyways. The wig was still on and his normally pale skin was brushed with a light flush as his mouth hung open slightly as he panted, but it was as clear as day.

Kurt.

But Puck didn't stop it. He just figured it was a fantasy about a friend; nothing wrong with that, right? Hell, he checked out and thought of Mercedes' rack every now and then and they were definitely just friends. All he needed to do was come and then he wouldn't have to think about it ever again.

"Harder, Noah, please, please, touch me," Kurt moaned, pushing back his hips to meet every single thrust Puck made. Puck obliged, moving his hips fast—so fast he was sure if it was real life that the piano would break in half—and moving a hand to Kurt's leaking cock, stroking it very much like how he was stroking his own outside of his fantasy. Kurt's moans getting breathier as Puck thrust into him.

Then, without any warning, Kurt's back arched, his body tensed, and he let out a high scream of Puck's name as ropes of semen shot out of his cock and onto Puck's hand. Without a second thought, Puck brought his hand to Kurt's lips, Kurt eagerly licking and sucking away his own come, the real Puck imitating that with his own hand in his mouth, then using his wet hand to pull at his pierced nipple.

A final tug to his piercing and he was gone, semen shooting onto his torso as he moaned loudly.  _Fuck_ , that was hot.

… _Fuck_ , that was  _Kurt_.

Puck groaned and wiped his come covered hand on his sheets, his thoughts trying to work out how he was supposed to feel about fantasizing about his best friend letting him fuck his ass.

Well, he was pan and stuff, right? So fantasizing about a guy was okay, totally. And just because the guy happened to be his best friend, that meant nothing, and it was just because his and Quinn's asses were so similar, right? And his conscious was just messed up from the choir room incident with Kurt earlier that week and sexting Santana. That was it. He was mixing Kurt and Quinn, the two most important teens in his life, and Santana up. That was all. No reason to feel weird about anything.

But when Kurt texted him a few minutes later, Puck held onto the phone for several minutes before ignoring the message.

He just needed sleep, obviously, even if he didn't go to bed until hours after that.

—

Kurt had never been fond of Rachel, her know-it-all attitude and arrogance grating his nerves, but after she had dated Puck, his ability to spend time with her went down, even though they had broken up. So when she said she liked Finn, Kurt's whole brain exploded as his face didn't move. But he was reminded of a certain mantra Puck had developed when he had started going after Quinn, a mantra reminding himself that he had to go after what he wanted in his life or else he would never get it.

So he wasn't surprised when Rachel came up to him on Monday morning, pissed that he had sabotaged the makeover, yelling that he had set him up. It was kind of funny, how she started their little scene; if Kurt had believed her to be cool enough to bring a weapon to school, he could totally see a full on version of "Cell Block Tango" happening in her future.

"I thought we were friends," she whispered harshly.

"And what made you think that?" Kurt fired back. Honestly, he had never been nice to her before and yet she thought he was a "friend"? Yeah right. "You should be thanking me; all I did was make you realize that your school girl dream of running off with Finn was nothing but a fairy tale."

Then Rachel looked at him with realization, a realization that scared him.

"You like him," she said, not a question, but an accusation. Kurt felt his face drop. "Yes, that's what this is and you were just trying to eliminate the competition."

Kurt could feel every muscle tense in his body. "I was just trying to make him understand that  _you_  are not a viable second choice," he replied, walking away in hopes he would be gone before she could say anything else.

"You think I'm a  _second_  choice?" She asked, angry tears caught in her voice as she marched after him.

"A distant second," Kurt said disdainfully, turning back around to face her.

"You think I'm living in fairy tale?" She asked. "Even if I was second or fiftieth, I'd still be ahead of you because  _I'm a girl_."

There they were; the words that rung true, even to the deepest part of Kurt's denial lodged brain. The words that kept him up at night and ruined all potential romances. He took a deep breath and tried to talk to her in a way that would hurt her heart as much as her words hurt his. "Okay, here's the dope, Princess," he began softly (he had been spending  _way_  too much time with Puck, it seemed), "None of us has a chance. We're nothing but distractions. The sooner we realize it…the better." With that he walked off, putting the mask of no emotions back on as he walked down the halls.

Rachel watched him go down the hall until she managed to pull herself together and walk off to her next class. And to think she thought that the only competition for a guy's attention they'd ever have was when she dated Puck. Obviously her assumption that they liked each other was completely off base.

—

Puck watched as Quinn and Kurt ran their choreography one more time before the deaf choir could get there (but seriously why the fuck was there a deaf  _choir_?). Seeing Kurt successfully hold up Quinn with a beam made him smile and whoop in the corner, the rest of ND laughing along with him (they'd all been concerned if he would be able to pull it off as well).

Then they did the not so subtle humping motion. Quinn's hair and the blonde wig flying all over the place as Puck had the perfect view of Kurt's ass as Quinn thrust in and out of Kurt's body, his ass tensing beautifully as he held up her squirming body.

Fuck, if that didn't give him mental images to mule over…

—

Quinn marched over to Puck and took out his phone, ignoring Puck's greeting and warning about looking at his texts (as well as the hot chick he was chatting up right there). Shit, Quinn knew. And what was he supposed to do? Admit that he was struggling because his best friend's ass was turning him on and he was confusing a guy's ass for hers? Yeah, that wouldn't go over well.

It was time to play the part he did best: the Jerk.

"You lied to me."

"I'm sorry," Puck said, playing the jerk bit up. "I tried to resist Santana but I'm young and girls have this control over me. But, hey, it's all good."

"It's definitely not 'all good'," Quinn replied angrily.

"I do, like a lot," he exclaimed, Quinn looking doubtful. "But you haven't given it up to me since the night I knocked you up," now here came the part that everyone thought was his only waking though, "I'm a dude; I have needs."

"You expect to raise a baby with me and text dirty messages to every other girl at this school if I don't 'give it up' to you daily?" She asked, tears obviously on the verge.

"No…just the hot girls," he said. And maybe there was actually truth to this; maybe he wasn't meant to be in a steady relationship. God knows he never had a real steady one before that didn't have fucking someone else on the side. "Look, I'm going to be a good dad, but I'm not going to stop being me to do it," he explained, fully serious, not playing the part everyone in Lima saw him as.

Quinn stared at him in disbelief for several moments before collecting herself, "I now exactly where she belongs, and it's definitely not with you."

Puck watched her walk away, his defenses down. Why did he have to push away the people he loved? First Kurt, now Quinn…Taking a deep breath through his nose, he put his Lima Loser mask back on, walking aimlessly, glaring down some freshman losers.

He didn't realize he was on his way to Kurt's locker until he was standing besides him. "Quinn's giving her up," he whispered.

Kurt looked up at him with wide eyes, grasping his hand. "Rachel knows I like Finn and sabotaged the makeover on purpose." They both looked at each other sadly before lightly squeezing the other's hand at the same time, laughing slightly at the simultaneous reaction before Puck finally pulled Kurt into a hug, both closing their eyes tight for a moment to revel in the contact.

They pulled away from each other but kept the arms closest to each other on the other's back, Puck teasing Kurt about his choice of bag for the day (seriously, why did the kid own a brief case?) as they walked down the hall. When they reached an intersection of the hallways, they saw Finn and Quinn hug and walk off together, both smiling, their arms around each other's waists. Sensing eyes on him, Kurt turned around and saw Rachel. After a small moment, she gave him a small smile and a half-wave. Kurt returned the wave but not the smile before taking an equally hurting Puck down the hall with him, both avoiding talking about the subject at hand.

—

"I'm so glad the hair wigs are done with," Puck said that Friday at Kurt's house. "They were starting to mess with my mind."

"What, you mean after you thought I was Quinn in the choir room and you had an existential crisis?" Puck gaped at Kurt who just scoffed, "Please, you were obvious from a mile away."

"So you aren't like…offended by it?"

"I warned you that I looked hot in it," he teased. After Kurt stopped laughing, he shrugged, "I'm very feminine, not much can change that." Then he sighed and Puck pat his leg, knowing he was thinking about how he still wasn't feminine enough for Finn. "But you realize you were just projecting her onto me, it doesn't mean anything, right? It's not like you're physically attracted to me. I mean, if you were, it doesn't mean anything, it just means you have taste in men, but you aren't, right?"

Puck looked at Kurt for a few moments, wondering how he should answer the question. On one hand, Kurt's ass was fucking boner worthy. On the other, he was his best friend and he was in love with Quinn. So this whole attraction to Kurt? It meant nothing.

"Of course not."


	10. Sectionals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Directions is finally ready for Sectionals, but how ready will they be when the real truth of who the father of Quinn's baby is comes out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewrite of "Sectionals"

"Do any of you guys think it was weird that Puck rushed to Quinn's aid in rehearsal the other day?"

As soon as the words left Rachel's mouth, the group of kids around the piano looked at Kurt, waiting for his reaction. He kept his face as cool as possible, but inside he was freaking out. Rachel, the only person in the club besides Finn who didn't know about the real father, was getting suspicious. And it was his job to distract her.

"No," Kurt said as evenly as possible. "They're friends, every body knows that."

Most people would've taken testimonial from Puck's best friend as complete and total truth of the situation, but of course Rachel Berry did not. "Yes, but it seems like more than that." She took a deep breath and said, "I've never told anyone this, but I'm kind of psychic." Kurt had never seen his friends look more bewildered in his life, "I can't read minds or anything yet but I  _do_  have a sixth sense."

"Uh…we gotta go," Mercedes said, grabbing Kurt's arm to drag him out of his chair.

"But we have to practice!"

"As soon as Mr. Schuester names the new faculty advisor," Kurt said, leaving. "Until then I don't need to listen to some horrible accusations on my best friend." He gave her a fake smile and walked out of the choir room, his body clenching in rage as he walked alongside Tina and Mercedes.

"Hey, she's onto it," Mercedes said into her phone.

"I know, it's really freaking me out," Tina replied before buzzing Artie in.

"Dudes, this is serious, if she finds out she'll tell Finn; she can't keep secrets."

Kurt stole Tina's phone to add, "I say we lock Rachel up in my basement till after Sectionals."

"We need her voice," Mercedes insisted.

"Damn her talent," Kurt muttered as Tina held up her phone so they both could talk into it and listen.

"We just heard," Santana said as she and Brittany were buzzed in, "Who told the dwarf?"

"I thought it'd be you," Kurt said immediately.

"Why would I do that?"

"To get back at Noah," Kurt accused, venom lining his voice.

"Yeah, aren't you guys dating?" Artie asked.

"Sex isn't dating," Kurt and Santana said at the same time, both disgusted at saying the same thing.

"If it were Santana and I would be dating," Brittany said simply. Kurt kept walking, unbothered by information he already knew (Puck having told him so many times of the invitations he got to watch them), but stopped when he realized everyone else in his group had stopped in shock.

When they started walking again, Santana said, "Look, I didn't do it, I don't want to risk anything. Since Quinn got herself knocked up, I'm the HBIC around here."

"Hold on, Rachel's walking by," Mercedes hushed into the phone, lowering her device as Tina did the same to hers. "Hey hot mama!" Kurt raised an eyebrow in disapproval of the nickname, but soon they were all back on their devices, Rachel out of sight. "Look I know I messed up  _real_  bad by telling all you guys," Kurt snorted at the understatement, "And I feel  _really_ , really bad about it," she added, looking at Kurt until he sighed and looked away, "But we can't let her find out. If she finds out, she'll tell Finn and he will  _flip out_."

"Then Noah will get killed…and we'll have even  _less_  of a chance at Sectionals," Kurt added. Slowly they all hung up and Kurt looked up at the ceiling, attempting to gather his thoughts. He needed to find a way to keep his best friend's secret from getting out.

—

"You have to take me to get one of those Jewish baby test things," Quinn pleaded to Puck, away from the rest of the Glee club.

Puck was confused as all hell. First Quinn swore she wanted nothing to do with him, now she wanted him to take her to get tested for some Jewish disorder that he had never heard of. Wouldn't he know about this baby disease from temple and shit? "Is that even a real thing?"

"Yes," Quinn insisted, "And if something's wrong with the baby, Mrs. Schuester won't take it and I can't ask  _Finn_ , he'll  _know_  something's up."

"Does this have to happen tonight?" Puck asked hesitantly. "'Cause I have my fight club." It was something he had started to help get his aggression out so he didn't feel the need to punch Finn every time he gave that goofy half-grin. Turns out he was even more badass than he thought since he won most every fight.

But his question wasn't answered as Mr. Schue and the freaky ginger counselor walked in. Turns out that Miss Pillsbury was taking over Glee club for Sectionals. And with that he had to leave. Then Artie talked about being in a wheelchair and Finn brought up Journey and Rachel talked about being the best. Same old boring Glee club.

Apparently Mercedes wasn't having it that day though, so, in a great diva move, she started singing the crap out of some black chick diva song her and Kurt liked to sing to in the car when they dragged him to the mall. Puck had to admit that seeing Mercedes perform that song was pretty freaking awesome, especially watching Kurt and Quinn light up at her singing. And seeing Rachel actually let her take the ballad spot, seeing her do something for the benefit of someone else? Yeah, that was awesome.

And maybe if people like Rachel could change, maybe people like Quinn could change, too, and accept him into her life. And maybe Finn would even change and realize he was lucky it was Puck's child.

Maybe things would all be okay.

—

_Okay, things definitely aren't okay,_  Puck thought as Finn continued to smash at his face, Puck having no choice or chance to do anything but block his punches.

It came out of nowhere. He was in the choir room with some of the gleeks, just standing up and talking to Kurt when he heard a yell from the doorway. Turning to see what the hell it was, he was punched in the gut by Finn, who soon jumped on top of him, punching at his face as Puck tried to get his breath back and Rachel came rushing in after Finn, freezing at the violence.

"Someone, help him, God, please," Kurt started crying out. He tried pulling Finn off his best friend himself but Tina grabbed him and took him away, his tearful cries and pulls doing no good, just getting him in harm's way. "Why are you just standing here?" He yelled at no one specific as the punches started to sound like they were actually making contact to Puck's head.

Thank God Mr. Schue came in right at that point, Miss Pillsbury and Artie, who had fetched them, right behind him as he pulled Finn off Puck. Once the taller teen was off the floor, Will got Mike and Matt to hold him back as he tried to swing even more at Puck as he stood up with help from Kurt. Kurt was relieved to see no cuts and no bruises, so probably no internal bleeding, but he wasn't sure if a concussion could be ruled out yet.

"TELL THE TRUTH!" Finn yelled at Puck and Quinn, fighting against Matt and Mike's hold.

"He came in here and sucker punched me in the gut," Puck insisted to Schue.

"Don't play dumb, you are too dumb to play dumb," Finn shouted.

"Who told you?" Quinn asked tearfully, stepping out from the line of gleeks that had formed.

"Rachel," Kurt accused, holding back his own tears as he glared her down.

"What? I didn't do anything."

"Yeah, it was Rachel," Finn confirmed. Kurt had to hold himself back from spitting on her—something Puck had taught him from Fight Club to really shame someone—as Finn continued, "But I want to hear it from you."

Mr. Schuester tried to intervene, "Finn, just calm down—"

"NO, THEY'RE BOTH LYING TO ME!" Finn yelled, getting out of everyone's hold as he turned to Quinn. His voice was calm but his body still held anger and tension as he asked Quinn, "Is it true? Just tell me: is it true?"

Quinn walked up to him, tears starting to roll down her cheeks, in some sort of attempt to make the big announcement in front of everyone somewhat more personal. Puck walked to stand in line behind her a few feet away, just in case Finn's anger caused him to attack Quinn like he had him; then he would show him no mercy.

"Yes," Quinn gasped out. "Puck's the father." Puck kept glaring down Finn, waiting for him to snap, but he could still feel his teacher's look and he knew Mr. Schue thought even less of him now. What did it matter, everyone at that school but Kurt thought less of him because of this, Kurt who was standing behind him, eyes focused on Finn, thinking of what he would do if Finn started going after Quinn or Puck again.

"So all that stuff in the hot tub," Finn said brokenly after a silence, "You-you just made that up?"

"Well you were stupid enough to buy it," Puck shot back, Mr. Schue having to stop Finn from attacking him again. He just wasn't going to let Finn put all the blame for the deceit on Quinn when he sure as hell should've noticed something was up since they never had sex.

"I am  _so_ sorry," Quinn said in a high-pitched voice, starting to completely break down.

"Screw this," Finn said, shaking his head and backing away. "I'm done with  _all_  of you!" He stormed out of the room, kicking a chair in his wake as Quinn started sobbing uncontrollably.

"Berry," Kurt said snappily as he closed his eyes, "Get the  _fuck_  out of this choir room before someone has to hold me back and, in turn, ruin my jacket." Initially Rachel froze at the swear leaving Kurt's mouth, but a second later she scampered out of the room, her head hanging slightly in shame as Quinn's sobs filled the classroom.

—

Puck saw Rachel as he walked over to talk to Quinn. They paused and looked at each other for a moment before both moving on at the same time, Puck sitting down next to Quinn. "Look, I know you're upset right now," Puck started, "But I want to be with you. I want to do everything I can to be a good dad to our baby."

"Thanks…but I honestly can't have that stress in my life right now," Quinn whispered as she finally looked at him. Puck looked down and tried to swallow that information. Looking back up at her, she continued, "And I'm going to do this on my own. Please respect that. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to be alone right now." As she walked away, Puck collapsed against the wall of the little nook in shock and heartbreak, not even hearing the click of designer boots on the tiled floor.

Kurt didn't say anything, no apologies, no words of encouragements, nothing. He simply sat down next to Noah and turned his head toward his, looking him square in the eye. Giving a small nod, Kurt leaned up and kissed Puck on the forehead before pulling him into a hug, both boys liking that newer type of comforting physical contact.

As Puck leaned onto Kurt, he let his eyes drift shut and close, doing his best to forget about this day from Hell. He may not have Quinn, but he wasn't going to stop fighting for her, and he always was going to have Kurt at his side for help, support, and love along the way.

—

Mercedes was bent over herself, devastated; Artie was running himself into the wall repeatedly, frustrated; and Rachel was trying to stop herself from crying in the corner, depressed.

Those glee club wannabees were doing  _their_  songs.

The first song made sense; they were predominantly African American, why not do "And I Am Telling You"? Of course they wanted to do it. But "Proud Mary" in wheelchairs? Yeah, like that was likely to be an original idea. And apparently the deaf kids school was doing "Don't Stop Believin'". They were going to be beat by a  _deaf_  school in a singing competition. How freaking lame.

And Kurt had the biggest stress headache of his life. It didn't help that Puck kept insisting on flicking his ear to get his attention. "What?" Kurt whispered after the latest ear flick.

"You shouldn't be so bitchy to Rachel," Puck said, referring to Kurt's terse, angry words with her since the incident a few days before. Kurt rolled his eyes and turned his head back around. But Puck kept going.

"If I'm not mad at her,"  _flick_ , "And Quinn's not mad at her,"  _flick_ , "You don't need to be mad at her,"  _flick_.

"But she hurt you," Kurt whispered, turning back to face him again.

"But you wanted and got 'Cedes to forgive me for the phone call. Plus you just want an excuse to hate her reasonably," Puck said proudly, excited that he had Kurt on this one.

Kurt opened and closed his mouth multiple times before finally rolling his eyes and nodding in agreement. "Okay." Puck smiled as Kurt turned back around, rubbing his temples in thought.

_Flick…flick._ "Yes?" Kurt asked, not even turning around.

"You're still coming over tonight to celebrate, right?" Puck asked. He corrected, "Or possibly mourn our loss?"

Kurt snorted, turning his head to face Puck, "Yeah, I'll be there before Mama Mae leaves for work. And I'll bring the DVD. Honestly, the fact that you haven't seen  _Mean Girls_  is quite possibly the biggest failure in my life." They grinned at each other and Kurt turned back front, his stress headache feeling slightly better.

_Flick...flick…_

"What?" Kurt exclaimed, turning his head back to Puck.

"…Now it's just fun," Puck said with a grin, ducking just in time to avoid getting smacked by Kurt.

—

How come Finn always got to come in and save the day?

Puck wondered that almost every day of his life, Glee club just bringing it even closer to his attention. He wasn't the best singer, he wasn't the smartest guy, and he wasn't even the nicest, yet he came to Sectionals late, sheet music in hand, and he's suddenly the best thing to happen since Trojan invented pre-lubed condoms. Even Kurt turned to face him with a look of hope and joy in his eyes (before neutralizing his face when he felt Puck's eyes on him).

So he brings in some (admittedly awesome) Rolling Stones song and gets to be heralded as a hero, the fact that he ignored Puck's attempt at friendship and Quinn's apologies in favor of going to Rachel Berry of all people completely forgiven. Yeah, Puck and Quinn screwed up majorly, but it wasn't like Puck didn't try to get Quinn to tell him and work his ass off to get her to like him. No, all that mattered was that Finn had fucking sheet music they had to learn in thirty minutes.

Big fucking whoop.

And although Kurt's eyes watched Finn talk to Rachel with hurt, he shook it off and went to his best friend. Pulling Puck in for a hug, he brought him back to the group to go over the familiar tune.

—

As New Directions went out to get to places for the competition, Kurt and Puck lagged behind in the boys' dressing room. Giving some thought to his words, Puck finally asked, "Why didn't you go with him?"

Kurt's face crinkled in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Puck sighed exasperatedly, "Everyone else in the Glee club, except Quinn 'cause she can't, went off with Finn. They didn't physically move or anything, but they were on his side in there and in the choir room and they always will be." He sat down in the nearest chair, "I'm the bad guy, the jerk, the Lima Loser who knocked up his friend's gal. Why are you still supporting me and helping me when Finn is the hero? I know you still like him." He didn't mean to sound so accusatory on that last sentence, but the tone and words slipped out before he could stop them, his teeth gritting as he tried to hold in his anger.

Kurt studied him quietly before saying, "But why would I leave you?" Ignoring Puck's attempt to interrupt him, he continued to speak quietly, "Finn hasn't been with me since I was three. Finn wasn't there when I was learning how to ride my bike or when I was learning how to make a cake in my EZ Bake or when I needed some holding my hand when Mom died. Finn wasn't there for my first time driving with my license or when I got my first McQueen collection item and I could barely stop shrieking." Both boys smiled at the memory as Kurt continued on, "And I certainly wasn't there for Finn like I was with you. Like when you called me after your first hook up—Santana Lopez, seventh grade—or when your dad left—we were nine—or when you lost your front tooth and had the cutest little smile from it—second grade, Ms. Teely's class."

Looking at his feet, Kurt said, "We have a history that no one else in this club, probably no one in the whole school, has. I may have known Santana and Artie before you, but I have no memories of them until elementary school. And I don't know anyone who has a friendship that has run as long as ours had, not even Brittany and Santana." He looked back up at Puck and gave him a smile.

"So maybe everyone else can think they know you are, but I know they don't. You're not 'Puck' Puckerman, the bad boy jock who knocked up the purest girl of them all; you're Noah Elijah Puckerman, my best friend. You lost a mother right there with me; you skinned your knee when you first tried roller skating so bad we swore there was bone sticking out; you work so hard on schoolwork as long as you're not at school while doing it; you love me unconditionally.

"And before you can even say that I'm too good to you—I know you're thinking it, you always do when you're like this—remember that to everyone else in this town I'm Hummel, the gay kid trying to have sex with every guy I see. But to you I'm Kurt Eli Hummel. I'm the one who changed his middle name to Elizabeth in honor of his mom; I have the same sister as you; I let everyone think I spend thousands of dollars on my wardrobe while I really go online and find deals; I told you I was gay before I told anyone else; I love you unconditionally." Kurt crouched down in front of Puck, gently moving his chin so he was looking him in the eye, "Finn may be the person I'm in love with, but you will  _always_  come first, Noah.  _Always_. " He held the eye contact for a bit longer before straightening up and pressing a kiss on his best friend's head, slowly walking from the dressing room.

Puck waited a few minutes before leaving, wiping under his eye. Hey, some dust just got in there when he blinked, that was all.

—

Kurt went over to Puck's house that night, ready to celebrate their victory, surprised to see a new car outside of the house. "Hello?" Kurt asked as he opened the Puckerman's door, backpack on his back as he shakily held onto the platter of brownies he had made earlier (Puck had a stressful week, after all). When he walked a few steps in, he softly let out an  _Oh_ ; Puck was on the couch resting a comforting hand on Quinn's knee, the other on her shoulder. "S-sorry," Kurt said as Puck backed away from the blonde, Quinn wiping tears from her eyes.

"Shit, Kurt, I forgot to call you," Puck said with a sigh.

"I didn't realize you guys had a standing date," Quinn said tensely, not fond of being interrupted and for someone else to see her so vulnerable.

"Wh-what is she," Kurt paused and corrected himself, turning to Quinn, "What are you doing here?" There was a slight accusing tone to his voice that he couldn't hide; Quinn always seemed to bring trouble for his friendship with Puck, closing Puck off to Kurt or abandoning him.

"I can't really stay with Finn anymore, can I?" Quinn asked, tears thick in her voice. "I told them to give me a few days to pack and then I'd be out of their hair. Mrs. Hudson said she understood and that I could stay if needed, but Finn just…just walked away," a few tears fell down her cheeks. "We were in love and I messed it all up," she added quietly.

Puck got up and walked over to Kurt placing a hand on his shoulder as he turned him around. When they reached the door, he whispered, "She's staying here. Maybe I can convince her to keep our baby girl, maybe not. Either way, it's my fault she's pregnant, so I need to help. I need to make things right with her."

"Of course, Noah," Kurt whispered.

Noah sighed in relief, "I'm so glad you understand." He leaned over Kurt and opened the door, "I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

_Oh_. Kurt stared at the open door; he thought Puck was just explaining the situation to him, not that he wanted him to leave. He nodded and gave a weak, fake smile. "Yeah, of course."

As Kurt started to leave, Puck added, "Can we keep the brownies? Quinn's craving chocolate like mad and Sara took the last Twix bar…"

Kurt closed his eyes and grit his teeth, taking a deep breath. When he calmed down, he turned back to Puck and gave him a fake smile, "Of course." He handed Puck the tray, who balanced it with one hand, "I just need it back soon. Get back to me on that, just…get back to me, okay?"

Puck smiled softly, running a hand gently over Kurt's cheek, "Of course." Kurt gave a smile, a small but genuine one. "I'll always get back to you," he said, with a quiet laugh at the cory words, leaning into Kurt.

The smaller boy gasped so softly Puck wasn't sure it really happened as he leaned in close, Kurt's beautiful pink lips parted as he looked up at Puck with those breathtaking eyes, the blue and green flecks shining even more with the moonlight. Gently pushing away a strand of stray hair with his hand, Puck leaned down slightly and pressed a kiss against Kurt's forehead, closing his eyes, as he smelled the flowery scent of his shampoo and conditioner set.

"Bye, Kurt," he mumbled softly against Kurt's head before pulling away. "See you soon." Pulling away from his best friend's body, he nodded a goodbye as he closed the door.

Kurt stared at the door for a little moment longer, tears forming at his eyes before letting out a shaky laugh. Shaking his head, he walked back to his car and started the ignition. When he looked back up, he saw Puck getting Quinn to laugh through the window, eating the brownies through giggles. Jerking his head away, he backed out of the driveway quickly and headed home. He ignored his dad's questioning when he got home, storming down to the basement, curling into bed almost immediately.

He knew he should've been upset for Quinn, but he just couldn't at the time. All he knew was that Quinn always managed to ruin everything he and Puck had, right after Kurt had told him he would always be above any love interest in his life, damn it! As he started to drift off to sleep, though, he smiled softly, the spot where Puck had kissed him still warm and tingling.

—

"Hey," a soft, female voice said.

Kurt looked up from his locker to see Quinn standing there. "Hi," he said hesitantly. He was still upset with her taking up his best friend's time, but he was more upset with himself for being rude and worrying about his own problems on Friday when she had a much worse situation.

"Kurt…I'm sorry about Friday. I should've told Puck that I'm okay with you over; I was still so upset—I'm still upset—and so I wasn't thinking clearly about anything. I told him earlier I wanted to be alone and he must've thought I meant I didn't want you to stay and I was too upset and tired to correct him. For that I'm sorry," she said slowly, eyes not meeting Kurt's.

"No, Quinn," Kurt interrupted, "I was being rude and uncaring, I'm sorry."

Quinn paused for a moment before saying, "You guys can have your Friday night hang outs—he told me about them you guys do that—at Puck's as long as I can join for a little bit and maybe you can even have a few at yours once I start getting tired of him. I don't want you not hanging out with Puck just because I'm here. If Puck manages to convince me somehow and we keep her, I want her to know her Uncle Kurt."

He looked down at his feet for a while before smiling slightly and looking up at her. "I'm not sure about the 'Uncle' title, it doesn't really seem to go with my name…but I'd love to know her if you guys keep her," he said, nodding as a few tears invaded his voice; he hadn't realized how much he wanted to be a part of Puck's kid's life, be a second father to her, until now. Wiping under his eyes real quick, he offered an arm to Quinn, "To Glee club?"

She linked her arm through his, "To Glee club." The started walking together, going over the dance moves in their head for the performance for Mr. Schue Finn had planned weeks ago (but thankfully Mike and Brittany choreographed).

"You know," Kurt said after a bit of silence, "Noah and Sara and Mama Mae all come to the  _chateau d'Hummel_  for Thanksgiving. Seeing as that's a few days away, I would be honored if you would like to join us."

Quinn smiled, "Only if, while I'm at Puck's, you help me find maternity clothes that look good on me; I still have my Dad's credit card and my own bank account that my dad hasn't done anything to and I don't want to look like one of those forty year old ladies who wear muumuus around because nothing else fits."

Shuddering at the imagery, Kurt said, "Deal. Now, am I going to be allowed to touch your hair…?"

—

"I have the popcorn!" Kurt sing-songed as he carried the large bowl into the Puckerman's living room. Setting himself on his spot in Puck's lap, Kurt turned to Quinn, who was sitting on the floor next to him, "Now you're sure that you can sit down here in your state, right?"

"I'm not going to die from sitting on the floor; and I might as well do this while I still can," Quinn said with an eye roll. "Now get to what you were promising me. "

Kurt lifted his hands in defense before grabbing one of Quinn's, immediately filing on the nails. "Can I press play now?" Puck asked, chewing around a mouthful of popcorn.

"Yeah, sure, go ahead," Kurt said to Puck, ducking his head down to inspect the nails more and so Noah could see easier. Seconds later the room was full of the sound of  _Mean Girls_  starting on the Puckerman's television.

About halfway through, they were interrupted. "Be good, kids, Sara's in bed and I have the graveyard ship at IHOP," a voice called from the kitchen, right next to the garage.

"Bye Ma!"

"Bye Mrs. Puckerman."

"Bye Mama Mae!" Kurt said.

"Okay, seriously, what is that about?" Quinn asked, finally scooping up some of the popcorn in her hand when she heard the door close behind Mae.

Puck and Kurt shared a smile before explaining over the movie's dialogue, "I always wanted a sister, but my mom wasn't able to have anymore children."

"So when Sara was born, we were around eight and I said he could be Sara's brother, too."

"And we already hung out enough together that it was like we had four parents. So I started calling her Mama Mae to differentiate between my two moms."

"And I called his Mama Kate. Eventually Burt insisted on just being called Burt, Papa Burt annoying him for whatever reason."

"Sometimes I call Sara 'sis' for fun," Kurt added, laughing with Puck as he moved onto Quinn's other hand before frowning at the grease from the popcorn that stained her delicate fingers.

Quinn looked between the two of them carefully, "So are you two brothers in your mind?"

Kurt and Puck locked eyes before dissolving into laughter. "Him? My brother? No way. He's my best friend, not my brother that's just…weird," Puck laughed.

Raising a brow, she said, "So even though you have the same sister and parents, you don't see yourself as brothers?"

As Kurt started to clip her nails on the new hand, he explained, "I don't know, that would imply we were related or something and that's…that's weird. Being related to No?" He shook his head at the thought; being related to Puck just seemed  _wrong_.

Quinn continued to raise her brow as Puck turned back to the movie and Kurt focused on the manicure. So they weren't related but had the same family? Wasn't that like a marriage? She shook her head to clear her mind.

As Kurt worked on her nails, she turned to the movie, laughing slightly with Puck as the plot progressed. But as Cady started struggling with the math contest and debated if she should go to the dance, Quinn started yawning: bed time. Well, she might as well go before her heart broke watching Cady split up the crown, something she'd never get a chance to win anymore. Pulling her now perfectly polished hand from Kurt, she slowly stood up, refusing help from either boy as she struggled to get to her feet.

"Good night, Puck, goodnight, Kurt," she called from the stairs, doing his best to ignore all her swarming thoughts about the two non-brothers as she winced on a swollen ankle.

The two boys, on the other hand, paid her no mind after they said goodnight, going back to the movie. "Popcorn?" Puck asked, holding out the now nearly empty bowl—hey, he was a growing boy and Quinn was pregnant, could you blame them?

Normally Kurt rarely ate popcorn, just made it for Puck and now Quinn, but before Puck could even blink, Kurt took a handful and shoved it into his mouth. "God," Kurt said after he finished the popcorn, "I've been so hungry lately; my diet's  _so_  not cutting it." Looking at Puck with mock seriousness, he said, "Noah, I think I'm pregnant." Both boys couldn't keep up the act, bursting into fits of laughter. "No, but seriously, I don't know what's up, I just know if I get any bigger I'm going to pull my hair out. And I just cannot rock that look. But I can't stop eating, either."

"Aww, maybe baby Kurtie's finally having his growth spurt," Puck teased, tickling his sides.

"Yeah, before you know it I'll be a full grown queen fighting off guys with a stick," Kurt said with a laugh.

"Hey," Puck said softly, "I'm sure all the closeted guys at McKinley have to hold themselves back from touching your hot ass."

Kurt thought for a moment. "You're probably right," he said with a grin, leaning his head against Puck's chest as he continued to munch on popcorn. Puck looked down briefly at his best friend's laughing face before turning back to the screen, resting his head against the couch behind him.

As Puck started stroking Kurt's hair, Kurt practically purred, his eyes starting to flutter shut. "You know you can still like Finn if you want," Puck murmured. Kurt looked up at him lazily and he continued, "You don't just forget someone that quickly. And while Finn beating me up was freaky, you probably still have some attraction to him.

"Either way, I'm getting closer and closer to winning Quinn over every day. And I want us to have our happy ending. I'm not sure yours is with Finn, if he's even gay or anything, but I won't be betrayed if you still like him and try," Puck whispered, not wanting Quinn to possibly overhear.

"Mmmm," Kurt said, his eyes starting to drift close again. "Well, he does have a single mother and I have a single father…"

Puck raised an eyebrow, ready to ask him if he was actually serious, but before he knew it, the movie had finished and Kurt had fallen asleep, Puck's hand still tangled through his thick hair. With some effort, he managed to get Kurt into his arms as he stood up, going on to carry him into his room, thankful Kurt had done his moisturizing routine before the movie so he wouldn't be bitched out in the morning for letting him sleep through it.

Laying Kurt on the bed, he turned the lights back off and crawled into bed next to his best friend's sleeping form. Pulling in Kurt's body close, he kissed his forehead, smiling as he slowly fell asleep, Kurt never leaving his arms the whole night.


	11. Growth Spurts and Madonna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the Gleeks come back from winter break, Puck is particularly shocked by Kurt's new body, especially when he puts a Cheerios uniform on. And Quinn isn't all to thrilled about these developments with her new boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewrite of "Hell-O" and "The Power of Madonna"

The weeks came and went, Thanksgiving turning into December, the days turned from Hanukkah to Christmas, from Christmas to New Year's, from New Year's to the beginning of the new semester. And Puck and Kurt had barely seen each other at all.

Due to Quinn living in his house and the secret being out, Puck wasn't allowed to leave the house unless Quinn allowed it, according to Mae's rule. And while Quinn  _had_  said she'd be okay with Puck going to Kurt's and Kurt coming over, she ended up making Puck stay in to prove that he really wanted to be with just her, afraid he would go sex up another girl. When she was willing to let him leave, though, Mae was out of the house working and needed someone to babysit for her.

And Kurt wasn't able to come over as much that break because, well, Puck's joke about his hunger was true; he finally had another growth spurt. He sprouted up a few more inches but, most importantly to him, lost almost all his baby fat, finally starting to grow out of his milkmaid stage.

It was strange. It seemed that one day he went to bed, still a caterpillar, and then the next day he woke up a taller butterfly, the hem of his pajama pants showing off some calf and the waistband lose around his leaner frame. With his dad's permission, he managed to find some online deals on designer goods and slightly ruined productions that he could sew right up with his kit. He barely left the house except to buy more sewing material or to go to the after-Christmas sales at the mall. He had volunteered to take Quinn on these trips and Puck as well, but the day of the sales she had a particularly bad case of morning sickness and Puck needed to be there to hold her hair back. And Mercedes was out of town all break due to a family visit.

Shopping in big sales alone was easier anyways.

So when Puck walked into the choir room, his arm around Quinn—his  _girlfriend_ —smile on his face, excited to see his friends (especially Kurt) again, his jaw soon dropped at seeing his best friend's new body.

" _Kurt_?"

"Noah!" Kurt exclaimed brightly, giggling slightly as he ran over and attacked him with a hug. "I've missed you so much," he said in Puck's ear, now barely having to move his head at all to whisper in it. Several long moments later, after finally pulling away from Puck, he gave Quinn a hug,  _aww_ -ing over her cute maternity dress.

He turned back to Puck, a huge smile one his face when he noticed his best friend still starting at him. "Everything okay?" Kurt asked, looking down at his outfit as his face fell slightly. "It's not my favorite outfit but I'm still trying to put new ensembles together because of my growth spurt."

Puck shook his head out of his daze, "Yeah…yeah, sorry. It's just…when you told me you had a growth spurt I…I wasn't expecting this. At all. You finally look like you belong in high school."

"Kurt," Quinn said, "You look  _really_  great. Truly great."

Kurt smiled, "I know, right? I mean, I didn't grow  _that_  much, I'm still below average, but I finally lost some of that baby fat I'd been trying to lose for years now. I still have my hips, but my waist is smaller and my face is leaner…" He leaned in and whispered to the couple with a wink, "And maybe now I'll finally be able to get attention from guys because I don't look like a little kid anymore."

Puck was about to say that he was sure guys noticed him before when Mercedes and Tina called Kurt over to ask a question about a designer or some shit; Puck wasn't really focused on it. So Kurt excused himself from the couple's presence and went over to Tina and Mercedes, Puck's eyes watching his ass the whole time. With the weight loss it seemed smaller, but it definitely wasn't any less delicious than before.

Quinn, seeing her supposed boyfriend's eyes wander, turned his head with her hand to face her, raising an eyebrow. Puck gave a guilty half-smile before kissing her on the cheek and wrapping his arm around her waist to lead her to the chairs.

When they sat down, Mercedes looked from Kurt, who was absorbed in a conversation with Tina about what color hair extensions to put in her hair, to Puck with a slight frown. The two were still so completely oblivious to each other and now Puck was dating Quinn, leaving her boy with even less action than before. And the boy was even finer now, leaner figure and older look and all. She saw Puck's eyes earlier, how he was blown away by his growth spurt, why the hell wasn't he all up on that? Wasn't this the time of day they were more all over each other than normal because it was a safe place or something? The hell was this?

"You know, it truly is amazing how much you've grown," Mercedes remarked to Kurt. "I wonder if Mohawk could even carry you anymore." Her plan wasn't a great long term one and it wasn't even that clever, but it would do for now.

Kurt rolled his eyes as he stepped off the risers, "Please, 'Cedes, I didn't grow  _that_  much." He studied her for a moment, his eyes narrowing, "Is this supposed to be some comment on my weight? I know I still have more to go and my hips are a bit womanly—"

"'Cedes, you aren't questioning my badassness, are you? 'Cause I can totally still pick up Kurt and everything, what are you smoking?" Puck asked, his eyes narrowing as well.

"I'm just joking," Mercedes said with an eye roll at their over dramatics.

"I guess the one way to prove to her that I'm still small enough and you're still badass enough is for you to lift me and prove it," Kurt said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"I guess it is," Puck said right back. Before anyone could say anything else on the matter, Puck stood and Kurt strode over in three long steps, Puck picking him up in a bridal carry as they both laughed. They soon collapsed into Puck's chair, Kurt instantly relaxing into the hold as he sat on his best friend's lap.

"See?" Kurt said, soon laughing as Puck whispered something in his ear. He turned so his legs were hanging off of Puck's side as his arms draped over Puck's neck and started asking Puck about more specifics of his break, the texting between them definitely not enough.

Artie watched Mercedes' smug smile—knowing he'd have to tell her to be careful because of his own experiences with Puck and his love for Kurt—Tina's raised eyebrows and open mouth in realization—he had the most beautiful girlfriend, even when she was shocked—and, most importantly, Quinn's glare and tense jaw. They'd have to be careful around her that was for sure.

"I do love you, you know," Puck said at the end of class.

"I love you, too," Kurt said immediately, Quinn walking behind them with a frown on her face.

—

"So how long have you known?" Artie asked into his cell as Tina wheeled him down the hall with one hand, her other holding her own cell phone.

"How long have I known about  _what_?" Mercedes asked, pulling out her econ book.

"About a certain gay kid and badass duo wanting to be in each other's pants and wedding vows even though they don't know it," Artie replied.

Mercedes froze for a second before closing her locker. "You mean you guys know?" She thought it over, "I don't know, a few months now? Right around when we had that ballad project. It all sort of…clicked. What about you guys?"

"Well, I didn't even know until today," Tina said. "I can't believe how stupid I was to not see it, but the way Puck ignored Quinn for Kurt, the guy on his lap? Yeah, pretty much a dead giveaway. I had suspicions but I figured if I had grown up next to either of them and had that history with them I'd act the same, but…"

"But best friends don't look at each other like that," Mercedes supplied.

"Or at each other's asses like that," Artie added. "I knew since Puck dated Rachel that something was up, and it was all confirmed when I thought he was talking about liking Kurt and he freaked out and made that phone call to Mr. Hummel. If you deny something that much, you're just in denial yourself."

"You were there for that?" Mercedes asked, it all starting to make sense. Without waiting for an answer, she continued, "So what are we going to do about it? I need to get my boy some action."

"What can we do?" Tina asked. "I mean, if they're so oblivious now, how are we going to get them to see it?"

"We can't," Artie sighed. "I tried talking to Puck about it before and he cracked and made that derogatory phone call to Mr. Hummel; he loves Quinn, too, and is in complete denial that his attraction to his best friend's ass is more than lust."

"Yeah, and Kurt's convinced that he can win Finn over," Mercedes responded.

"So there really isn't anything we can do," Tina said hopelessly.

"Gotta let their stuff run its course," Artie shrugged.

"That's depressing," Tina said. "Who else do you think knows?"

"Most everyone else is trapped in their own world, like Finn and Rachel and Santana and Brittany, so I doubt too many others realize. Maybe Matt or Mike. But Quinn definitely suspects something and she is  _not_  pleased by it."

"That is so stupid that she's upset," Mercedes blurted out. "She's just with him because she can't be with Finn anymore and she wants to be with a guy. But you don't need a guy to make you complete. She's preventing Puck from being with someone who loves him like that back because she's afraid to be alone and she wants to give him something because she's living with him."

Tina and Artie paused in thought. "I don't know, I think she likes him," Tina reasoned. "But, yeah, I think she's mainly with him because of a feeling of obligation."

"Whatever, I gotta get to class," Mercedes said, "See ya."

They all muttered their goodbyes and turned off their phones, putting the drama out of their minds.

—

It took the fifth Glee club practice of Kurt sitting on Puck's lap, both boys not paying attention to anyone else, when Quinn finally snapped.

"Shouldn't your girlfriend be the one on your lap, not your best friend?"

The club turned to look at her and the two friends, looks of shock and bemusement and worry lining their faces. "What?" Puck asked.

"You heard me," Quinn said, her jaw set in a line. "If we're supposedly going out, why are you holding onto a guy in your lap instead of me?"

Puck and Kurt looked at each other for a few moments, both shrugging at her words before turning back to face her. "You're pregnant. I can't really hold you in my lap because you'll sit all funny and hurt the baby, right?" Puck asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"Maybe. But why is he always sitting there?"

"He always sits here," Puck responded, confused as to what the big deal was. Kurt nodded in agreement. Quinn looked between the two of them, confusion and innocence on their faces, before screaming in frustration and storming out of the choir room.

"What's her problem?" Kurt asked, not rudely, just with concern.

Puck shrugged, "Pregnancy hormones, I guess."

"I'm so glad I never have to deal with that," Kurt muttered as the lesson went back to normal.

"No surrogate pregnancies in your future?"

Kurt snorted, "Trust me, adoption is more my forte; I don't trust myself to stay sane around a pregnant woman."

"Too bad I trust you," Puck quipped.

"I guess I trust you, too," Kurt replied with a smile as the two started focusing back on the class.

—

"Hey, where's your dad?" Puck asked as they cooked some popcorn in preparation for their movie.

Kurt smiled as he chopped up some peppers and cucumber to snack on (hey, just because he was hungry  _all the time_  because he finally seemed to be in that stage of puberty didn't' mean he had to just eat popcorn). "He has a date," he answered.

Puck smiled widely. "No kidding? Man, I've been waiting for this day for, like, ever. I'm glad he's finally ready." Stealing a slice of cucumber, he asked with a full mouth, "Who is it?"

Kurt froze for a split second before carrying on with his snack making, moving onto the Granny Smith's with an apple slicer. "Carole."

"Carole who? Not that old racist lady who lives off of Vine and yells about Obama being the antichrist, right?"

"No, of course not," Kurt frowned. "Carole Hudson…"

Puck stared at him for a long time until he finally managed to string together a thought. "Finn's mom?"

Kurt did his best to act surprised, "Oh, that  _is_  his mom, isn't it? Wow, I can't believe I didn't realize that, that is  _so weird_."

" _Kurt_ ," Puck said with a raised eyebrow, "You're setting up your dad with his mom so you can get closer to Finn?"

Kurt turned back to Puck, ignoring the timer going off on the microwave. "I just introduced them at that back to school night and they hit it off." Puck continued to raise his eyebrow and Kurt sighed, "Okay, I did it in hopes that they would move in so Finn and I would share a room, but it's not my fault that Carole and Dad hit it off so well!"

"That's really creepy, Kurt," Puck said honestly. "Like, I know you care about him, but you're putting yourselves on a path to being related just so you can see him naked and possibly convince him to sleep with you or some shit?"

"What? No! How could you think that about me?" Kurt asked indignantly. "I don't want… _sex_ ," he whispered the word as if it were a swear word, blushing wildly. "I want him to get to know me and I want to get to know him. It would just happen easier this way. And maybe we could kiss or something but not  _that_ , especially not so soon." He turned to the microwave and grabbed the popcorn. Going over to the cabinet to grab a bowl, he opened the bag and poured the food in while Puck continued to watch.

Why was Kurt so hesitant and nervous and embarrassed to talk about sex? They talked about it all the time! Well, Puck always talked about it…when Kurt chimed in, it was a sarcastic comment about Santana, not a real comment on sex at all…huh.

"Dude, why are you freaking out about this? You can't even say  _sex_  without blushing like, well, a blushing virgin," Puck asked, watching as Kurt tensed up. "You jerk off, right? I've told you about the importance of jerking off, I know I have."

"…Yeah, I do," Kurt said quietly, "And I like it, it's just…sex freaks me out. It's intimate and personal and scary and kind of disgusting and weird—"

"And awesome and orgasmic and totally worth it," Puck added as Kurt turned back to face him.

"Maybe for you, but it'll probably hurt for me," Kurt said with a huff, looking off to the side in embarrassment.

Puck studied him, "First off, who says you'll be the bottom? I've been reading a lot of stuff since my sexuality still confuses me and most people switch it up apparently. Second of all, from my limited experience with anal, I know enough preparation and stuff that it won't hurt too bad and will get better every time. And aren't you the kid who told me what the prostate was?"

"Just because I know what it is doesn't mean I plan on using it, at least not now," Kurt said slowly, trying to soak up everything Puck just said. "And all I know is that I want my first time to be special with someone special. That's not wrong."

"Of course you should wait for someone who you love, I'm not saying that you shouldn't," Puck responded. "But, c'mon, you know your first time won't be perfect, right? No matter how romantic you want it, something will go wrong. And going to college a virgin? Do you really want that? The people who go to college as virgins are lonely girls with cats, Trekkies, and your Christian freaks. Do you really want to be associated with them?" Kurt shrugged as Puck stared at him, hoping for an answer. After a moment of silence, Puck finally asked what he knew Kurt would want to talk about, "So what's this perfect person like? Past, y'know, being Finn."

Kurt snorted slightly. "Well, the love of my life would be great, but if not him…someone I love and who loves me, someone I can trust, someone I've known for a while, someone romantic."

"Someone related to you by marriage," Puck added, laughing as Kurt hit him on the arm.

Smirking slightly, Kurt said, "And what's wrong if that person's related by marriage, huh? Do you look down on Cher Horowitz now, too?"

Laughing, Puck picked up the vegetable tray as Kurt grabbed the popcorn, "C'mon, even  _I_ know that Alicia Silverstone was Paul Rudd's  _ex_ -stepsister."

—

"So I'm going to be a Cheerio," Kurt said into his phone, voice breathless with excitement as he looked at his uniformed body in the mirror.

Puck raised an eyebrow, "As in a cheerleader for the evil that is Coach Sylvester?"

"Well, a singer for the cheerleaders, with 'Cedes," Kurt corrected, looking over his shoulder in his full-length mirror. His ass looked  _hot_  in the red and white material.

"So do you have to wear a skirt or something?" Puck asked, his voice cracking slightly as he remembered that dream. Oh God, "Please tell me you don't have to wear a skirt."

"No, you jerk," Kurt scoffed, Puck sighing in relief. "I have a uniform of pants and a short sleeved shirt. I'm going to miss my Calvin's and Guess jeans and my  _beautiful_ McQueen, but at least my ass looks  _hot_  in this get up."

"I bet," Puck muttered.

"What was that?" Kurt asked, not really listening too much as he inspected his best angles.

"I said…I get why you want to be popular and stuff, but won't being a Cheerio  _and_  in Glee suck for you?" Puck said quickly.

"Maybe," Kurt shrugged, turning to face himself head on in the mirror, "But I never get challenged in Glee. I have had literally  _no_  solos and no chances to shine since I blew the high F. And before you go into your spiral of guilt over that, I'm moving on to say that with this male version of Rachel, Jesse St. Elsewhere or whatever, at school I'll have even less chances at solos. And I just want to have a chance to sing for everyone, it's what I love to do.

"So will you be at the pep assembly tomorrow to watch me and 'Cedes do our thang?"

"Only if you never say  _thang_  again," Puck said with a laugh. "And seriously, come on, how long have we known each other? I believe we've been best friends for fifty years."

"I guess you could say we've known each other for a long time," Kurt said with a laugh.

"Exactly. And have I ever missed anything important in your life?"

"…I don't remember you being there when I was born," Kurt finally responded, both boys chuckling.

" _NOOOOAHHH!"_  a voice called out.

Puck rolled his eyes, "That would be Sara calling for me, probably wants some dinner since I doubt Quinn is sharing any of hers. Gotta go."

"Tell sis I say hi," Kurt requested.

"Of course. Talk to you later, Kurt."

"Bye, love you."

"You, too. And break a leg tomorrow!"

—

One thought plagued Puck's mind during all of "4 Minutes": How did Kurt get so hot?

Kurt was never ugly, but he definitely seemed so much younger before his growth spurt. And even after the growth spurt he was fine and hot, but now…

Puck didn't know if he should thank Coach Sylvester for putting him in that Cheerio's outfit or beg at her feet to get him off the team. Seeing Kurt up there, happy and confident and rocking it was awesome, but on the other hand, not being able to stop watching your best friend's body with your girlfriend right next to you was a bit unnerving.

"So, how was it?" Kurt asked, breathless with excitement as he greeted Puck with a hug.

"Amazing," Puck responded, trying not to undress him with his eyes as he pulled away from the hug.

"And I totally have star potential, right?" Kurt asked, his hands by his chest as he waited for a reply.

"Couldn't take my eyes off of you."

—

Puck looked at his dining room table with a smile. Oh yeah, he totally rocked this romantic shit: dimmed lights, candles, a frilly tablecloth, and, of course, Quinn's current favorite pregnancy food (chicken fingers and French fries with Ranch dressing, all with chicken ramen as well). Quinn would totally love it and him (and  _totally_  open her legs again).

"Puck? What is all of this?"

Turning to the doorway, Puck smiled at a confused looking Quinn. "Quinn! Come, sit down," Puck said, ushering her in and pulling out her chair. "Sparkling apple cider?" he asked, holding out the bottle.

"Um, sure," Quinn said. Continuing to smile, Puck poured the drink into the champagne glasses he had set out. Sitting down, he lifted his glass.

"Cheers," he said brightly.

"Yeah, cheers," Quinn said, puzzlement all over her face as she clinked her glass against his. "Listen, Puck, I—"

"I made your favorites," Puck said, gesturing to the food. "Well, I made the Ramen. Kurt made his own Ranch dressing and made the chicken and fries using the oven, he really only lets me cook when it's omelets. I make some mean omelets," he admitted as he placed some chicken on her plate and his.

Quinn's eyes closed and her jaw clenched at the mention of Kurt. He was why she couldn't enjoy the night. Kurt was sweet, amazing, funny, helpful…and totally making her feel inadequate in her relationship with Puck. She had no idea what was up with those two, but she definitely couldn't handle having to compete with  _that_  type of intimacy. "Listen, Puck, I need to say something."

Puck looked up from his plate, "Okay, what's up?"

"Now don't interrupt me, okay?" Quinn asked of him. Puck nodded. Taking a deep breath, Quinn started, "This whole week, with the whole 'power of Madonna' thing going on, I've realized…I don't need to be with a guy to be happy or strong or just to have a baby. And I don't want to sleep with you, and I know you miss sex. And I know…I know that you love me, but maybe we should…should make this relationship more open. That way I don't have to deal with the pressure of being in a full blown relationship, you can get some action, and…and I think we'll all be happier."

Puck felt his heart sink into his stomach. Yeah, he totally missed sex, but he could live without it. But he  _needed_  Quinn with him; he didn't need girls or sex or anything, he just needed Quinn and their daughter.

But as Quinn looked at him hopefully with her big, beautiful, brown eyes, Puck painted on a smile. "That sounds  _awesome_ , Q. I think it'll work out best for all of us." Quinn smiled at him and started digging into her meal. Puck watched the candles as they slowly melted away, suddenly not hungry anymore.

—

"I did fucking  _everything_  right, so fucking romantic, y'know? Candles and lace and her favorite foods and all that shit. And what does she do? Break my heart," Puck ranted, collapsing onto Kurt's bed.

Kurt slowly walked over from his vanity and sat down next to him. "I'm sorry, Noah. I've known you for the longest time, and I don't think you've ever loved someone, except for me, as much as you love Quinn. And the fact that she can't see that, that's horrible."

"Yeah…but how do I fix this?"

Sighing, Kurt admitted, "I have no idea. I guess just be there for her, earn her trust. I mean she hasn't known you as long as I do, she can't trust you like I do. I can trust that you'll tell me the truth and be honest with me because I know you, but she can't. Just give her time and be with her and love her and support her. Maybe when she's not clouded by pregnancy hormones she'll be ready for you two to live happily ever after."

Puck groaned, rubbing his hands over his eyes. "You're right…as per usual, you, my friend, are right."

Kurt smiled, "Of course I am, I'm always right, remember?"

"Oh yes, of course," Puck replied with a slight laugh.

"Yes, yes, yes," Kurt replied. "Now come on," he said, patting his leg, "let's go make some snacks and watch the movie, okay?"

"Fine, fine," Puck grumbled, getting out of the bed and starting the walk upstairs. "You coming?" he asked, turning back to Kurt, who had stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

"Um, yeah, just a minute, I want to go check my voicemail real quick," Kurt said, pulling his phone out of his pajama pocket. Shrugging, Puck went upstairs, calling out that he'd start the popcorn.

Kurt watched him go up, his mouth pursed in thought. Someone he loved who loved him, someone he trusted, someone he'd known for a while, someone romantic: they were all things he wanted in the person he spent the rest of his life in, the person he wanted to lose his virginity to.

The person who just so happened to be his best friend.

No. No way. He may be attractive, but Noah Puckerman was  _not_  the person he was meant to spend the rest of his life with; he was not the person he was supposed to lose his virginity to.

But maybe if he was still a virgin a year or so down the road he could lose it to him. It would be a surefire way to lose it to someone special, and then he wouldn't have to worry about being an inexperienced loser in college. It could totally work out for him perfectly.

"Hey, you coming up?"

"Yeah, just a minute!" Shaking his head, Kurt went upstairs, joining Puck in making snacks. But as they went about the kitchen, he couldn't help but think about how Puck just might be the perfect person to make him a man, so to speak.

He'd see how he felt in a year.


	12. Fish Tacos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt thought he'd love his dad dating again, but maybe it was all a huge mistake to set him up with Carole Hudson. Puck is concerned with Kurt's growing feelings for Finn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewrite of "Home" and, yes, the boys are complete idiots.

"Noah?" Kurt asked, leaning his back against a locker next to Puck's as he waited to go to Glee with him.

"Yes?"

He bit his lip, "Do I have hips like a pear?"

"Eh, I don't know if they're really pear-shaped. They're kind of girlish but they aren't, like, childbearing hips or anything. And it's just something more for a guy to hold on to; guys like having hips to hold onto," Puck said with a shrug. He pulled his head out of his locker, Kurt still frowning. "Why?"

Kurt sighed, his eyebrows furrowing, "Coach Sylvester said I do…"

Now it was Noah's turn to frown. He loved seeing Kurt so happy and seeing him in that Cheerios outfit was  _beyond_  hot, but if he had to watch Kurt go on one of those crazy Cheerios diets…he wouldn't be able to handle it. Drawing him in with his free arm, he started walking him down the hallway. "Listen, Kurt, Coach Sylvester runs a good cheerleading team because she preys on the self esteem issues of all the girls on it. That's just how she rolls. You can't fall victim to that. You, Kurt, are  _hot_. Don't let her convince you otherwise."

Sighing, Kurt shook his head. "I won't drink her poisonous slop, but she's right. I have pear hips." With a nod he said, "I'm losing this weight."

Puck continued to frown, "Fine. Be careful though, okay?"

—

Puck finally started packing up after most everyone in New Directions had left, watching Kurt bring out a portfolio full of wallpapers for Finn to look at. Finn pointed to one quickly and left, Kurt smirking as he did so. "Kurt," Puck started carefully as he folded up his binder. "What are you doing?"

"Well you know how every time you come over, Dad's out with Carole?" Puck nodded and Kurt continued, "Well, I think that it won't be long until the Hudson's move in with us, so I want to remodel my room with something Finn would appreciate because, after all, he'll be staying there."

Noah stared at him for several moments. "You are so  _creepy_ , Kurt! Please tell me you didn't tell him all that."

Kurt frowned, "I didn't, but what would be wrong with that? I love him, yeah, but I'm not like going to do anything to him, we've discussed that. And I'm really excited that my dad is happy. And I've helped Carole shop for new clothes and it's amazing, she really likes me and I kind of…I kind of always thought that I'd be a deal breaker for anyone my dad tried to date in this town because I'm gay, but…she really likes me. I enjoy her company and she enjoys mine. Maybe I want her to be my mother-in-law as well as stepmom, but it's not my fault she hit it off so well with Dad."

Staring at Kurt, he thought over what all he had said. He had to admit, Kurt had a point. It might be creepy, but he hadn't forced himself on Finn and definitely never would and he didn't make Burt and Carole such a great match. Finally, he smiled and ruffled Kurt's hair, much to his protests, "Fine. Just know no matter what happens, Fridays are  _our_  nights. I don't care if he lays around in nothing but a condom, we're keeping our Friend Date Night."

"Well doesn't that just bring a great image to mind," Kurt said fondly as they left the choir room. They were halfway to the parking lot when Kurt's stomach let out a loud growl.

"Dude, was that an earthquake or did you skip lunch?"

"Neither. I had lunch," Kurt said, his nose in the air.

"Yeah, what did you eat?"

"Peeled celery, you were at the same table as me."

Puck pulled away and stared at him, "I thought that was a snack since you had already eaten." He continued to look at Kurt until finally, without a warning, picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder, the contents of his bag barely managing not to fall to the floor.

"Noah! What are you—put me down!" Kurt protested, hitting Puck's back. But his best friend kept on walking to the parking lot, telling Quinn to get in the passenger's seat as he belted Kurt into the back.

"Noah, I drove here today, you can't just—"

"Then we'll come back and get your car afterwards," Puck said simply as he got off of school premises.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I don't trust any diet run by someone in a team run by Sue Sylvester," Puck said simply.

Quinn's eyes softened from the frown she wore from Kurt's loud protests earlier. "You mean he—" she cut herself off and looked back at Kurt, who was glaring at Noah's seat in front of him, looking about ready to kick it like a child would. "Kurt, I've been on those, they're so dangerous, and you're still growing!"

"It's not like I'm doing the liquid diet, I'm just watching what I eat a bit more than normal. There's nothing wrong with that," Kurt said snidely.

"It starts that way and then it just gets so much worse," Quinn said. Kurt still had his arms crossed so she added, "I'm worried about Mercedes. She talked to Santana and Brittany about the Master Cleanse and I know Coach wants her to lose all that weight for the magazine, but…she's going to hurt herself if she does it how she plans on it."

"'Cedes can take care of herself," Kurt said simply, but his voice was slightly softer. "It's not going to be that hard on her."

"Says someone who is, a, a guy and therefore not aware how much you go through weight wise as a girl and b, someone who is naturally the size of a stick," Quinn said incredulously.

"Did you not see me last semester? I was a  _lot_  chubbier," Kurt protested.

"That was something called  _baby fat_ , hence why it disappeared when you grew, like, five inches."

"But I have pear hips!" Kurt cried out. "Coach even says so."

"Everyone has pear hips compared to Coach's man ones," Quinn said with an eye roll. "And come on, guys will like that, it gives them something to hold on to."

"That's what I said!" Puck interjected brightly as he stopped at a four way. He and Quinn smiled at each other for a brief but wonderful (in Puck's opinion) time before Quinn turned her head back to Kurt as Puck left the intersection.

"Look, just eat, please? You grew a lot over a short time and I'm pretty sure you're growing still, so eat. Just  _eat_."

The car was silent for a moment before Kurt sighed, "You know, being pregnant has made you much more maternal and loving. What happened there?"

With a shrug, she answered, "I've realized I actually want to take care of people."

"Here we are!" Quinn and Kurt looked up and saw they were pulling into a McDonald's, Puck heading for the drive thru.

"I can't eat  _here_ ," Kurt whined.

"You eat here or I tell Burt that you're not eating properly and have him feed you steak every night," Puck smirked, his friend wincing. Kurt absolutely  _hated_  steak and it had taken  _years_  to convince his dad not to make it.

"Fine. Grilled chicken sandwich with no mayo and a Diet Coke. One of you can have my fries."

"How about Chicken Selects?"

"But that's  _fried_ —" Noah brought out his phone and Kurt sighed at the threat. "Sounds good."

"If you want a Diet Coke you have to have either fries or a McFlurry," Quinn added, Puck nodding in agreement.

"Fine," Kurt grumbled, "McFlurry has dairy, so get me an Oreo one."

Five minutes later they sat in Puck's car, devouring their food like none other—two teenage boys and a pregnant girl, after all. "Okay, that was much better than peeled celery," Kurt conceded.

"No shit, Sherlock," Puck teased, letting out a loud belch.

"Charming," Quinn commented drily as Kurt laughed slightly, shaking his head as he licked at his McFlurry spoon.

Puck bowed in his seat, "It's what I do."

—

"So you're eating, right? I don't have to force feed you Subway or something today, do I?"

Kurt smiled, "I ate. I should've known that now that I finally had this growth spurt I wouldn't be able to eat as little as I used to, or less than I used to, rather." Puck whooped in victory and Kurt laughed, bumping his shoulder against Puck. "But I  _am_  trying to lose weight. I have another feminine wiles about me, I don't need to add body parts so close to my very male parts to that list."

Puck frowned, "But I like your hips." At Kurt's raised eyebrow he insited, "What? I do!" As Kurt continued to raise it, he rolled his eyes, "Fine, just be safe, okay?"

"Of course."

"So, you wanted to talk about movie night this Friday…"

"Yes! Okay, I will be late—"

"Hey, Kurt, wait up!"

Kurt looked at Puck with wide eyes, recognizing the voice as they turned around. Turning back to his confident smirk, he greeted, "Finn, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"What the hell is going on with our parents?" Finn exclaimed, giving Puck an evil eye before going back to Kurt. "How did they even meet each other?" Puck sighed; Finn wasn't one to beat around the bush (except his own bush…ha…ha…okay, he really needed to focus on the conversation).

"Parent teacher conference, about a month ago. The welcome back to the semester thing? I always take my dad to act as a sort of…translator. They flirted, my dad even pulled out a fashion term, you don't know how big of a deal that is for him," Kurt replied, smiling fondly at the memory. "It was an instant connection."

"…That's impossible."

"When will you learn that nothing is impossible when it comes to love?" Kurt asked hopefully. Puck looked back at Kurt and felt something odd in his stomach, something not very pleasant. He really shouldn't eat the school's food. "Haven't you noticed anything different about your mom? New clothes, new make up, a haircut that  _doesn't_  look like it's styled by the Amish? Who do you think  _Pretty Woman_ -ed her up?" Finn looked not too pleased as Kurt had a vague sense of pride around him. "Has she started selling the furniture yet?"

"Yeah, she…she got rid of the bedroom set and tried getting rid of my father's couch…how…how did you know that?"

"People our parents' age don't wait around for love to bloom; they know what they want," Kurt replied, looking at him like he stepped right out of his dreams. Puck tried to follow the conversation, but it seemed whenever he looked over at Kurt looking at Finn, his stomach started acting up. Damn fish tacos (if only Quinn would let him have  _her_  fish taco…ha…ha…okay that actually made his stomach feel worse). "I suppose we'll be roommates with Mom and Dad cohabiting upstairs by midterms."

"No way," Finn said firmly, starting to move away.

"Give in to the inevitable, Finn," Kurt stated, taking his hand out of Puck's and stepping towards him (his stomach lurching was totally not a good sign about those fish tacos). "I want us to redecorate our room together," he continued coyly, playing with the buttons of Finn's flannel over shirt like he was some girl about to lay one on her boyfriend (this had to be what girls complained about during their time of the month). "That's why I had you look at those swatches. And don't sweat that chair, I have a lovely chaise picked out," Kurt finished with a breathy, low voice, the flirtiest Puck had ever seen him have  _ever_  (God, was he pregnant or something?).

"Look, screw your swatches and your…your chess!"

" _Chaise_."

"Whatever. I like my house and we're not moving and she's  _not_  selling that damn chair!" Finn exclaimed before storming away.

Kurt watched him go for several moments before turning back to Puck, noting the pained look on his face. "Are you okay, Noah?" Kurt asked, putting his hand on Puck's forehead to check for fever.

"Yeah…yeah, I'm good. Just had one too many fish tacos at lunch," Puck muttered, grabbing Kurt's soft hand back in his and walking them towards the choir room, starting to feel a bit better.

Kurt made a face, "You better mean actual tacos."

—

Puck was really regretting that extra fish taco as Kurt started singing. That phrase "sour stomach" was totally starting to make sense as he watched him sing his heart out to Finn. Puck grimaced, trying to look supportive of Kurt but unable to stop frowning. Not that it mattered since he seemed completely unable to look away from Finn anyways. God, he was never eating fish tacos again.

As he threw a glare in Finn's direction, Quinn looked over at Tina who turned to look at Artie. Well shit.

Trust Fish Taco Wednesday to bring about the most drama.

—

"Guys, major drama of the Puckurt category," Artie panicked into the phone, Tina pushing him while holding up her own.

"Puckurt? Oh! Like a portmanteau," Tina realized.

Artie looked back at her, "I love it when you use big words."

"Okay, okay, enough with the foreplay," Quinn said exasperatedly into her phone, a hand on her belly. "I'm pregnant and I had fish tacos today, not a smart move. Let's make this quick."

"At least you ate today," Tina muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mercedes sassed into the phone.

"It means—"

"Guys, Puckurt drama, remember?" Artie sighed, the girls stopping their fight before it started. "Not only does Puck feel a responsiblity to be with Quinn—no offense, Quinn—"

"None taken."

"But now Kurt is in love with Finn?" Artie finished.

"Guys, he's liked him for a while now, before he was even on the football team," Mercedes said, not getting the big deal.

"Wait… _what_?"

"You  _knew_  Kurt felt that way and didn't tell us?" Tina gasped.

"I don't see the big deal. He likes someone, or thinks he does, and it's basically the more socially acceptable version of Puck anyways: a built jock, not the brightest bulb, has the tendency to let people walk all over him when he loves them, all that. It's just a harmless crush," Mercedes insisted. Then the line went quiet for a while until she admitted, "Okay, that song seemed a bit more than just a crush, I'll admit."

"What do we do?" Quinn asked. "I mean, if you guys have some sort of secret missions you want me to go on, I live with Puck, I could get some dirt."

"The thing is, we've talked about this, and there's really nothing we can do," Tina explained.

"…What?"

"Yeah, we can talk about it but that's about it."

"So, what, we do this like every week or something? Talk about how they have the hots for each other like we're discussing a soap opera and then let the cards play out like we don't even know them?"

"You can bring popcorn if you want," Artie said brightly. Quinn scoffed as Artie continued, "Either way, Kurt is setting himself up for disaster, especially if their parents are dating. We need to keep a watch out for them."

"At least Puck seems to be realizing something; he looked miserable—maybe even  _jealous_ —when Kurt sang," Tina offered.

Quinn made a face, "I don't know if it was jealousy; he had the fish tacos, too…"

—

"Okay, so Dad and I are leaving for Breadstix in a few minutes."

"Uh huh."

"So come over at your usual time and use your key. I cut up the vegetables, so just entertain yourself and then we can start our movie about an hour later than usual if that much later," Kurt finished with a smile, craning his head around to look at his body from all angles in the mirror.

"Sounds good."

"Are you sure you're okay with this, Noah?" Kurt asked, looking at his reflection head on, holding up a phone with his right hand.

"Yeah. I mean, I know you guys would invite me if Finn and I weren't in such a rocky position right now. Hopefully sometime in the future we can move past it but for now it's cool," Puck shrugged, lifting one of his weights in a bicep curl.

"Good."

Puck sighed at Kurt's tone, "Kurt,  _calm down_. You'll be fine. It's not even really a date for you."

"But maybe we'll be going on dates shortly," he said dreamily. Puck rolled his eyes, managing not to say anything in response; he couldn't help it that he was starting to get sick of Kurt pining over a guy who didn't like him back.

There was a gruff call and Kurt yelled, "Be right there, Dad!" Turning back to the phone, he squealed, "Gotta go. Wish me luck!"

"Good luck," Puck said half-heartedly, Kurt not even noticing the tone.

"Thanks! Love you!"

"Lo—" There was the dial tone. Puck sighed. "Love you, too," he muttered, dropping his phone onto the bed.

—

This was not how the date was supposed to go.

He didn't want to be the center of attention or anything. He wanted the focus to be equal between all four members of what could be his family, or maybe a bit more attention and love on Finn so he could accept the Hummel-Hudson idea. Just a shout out to Carole's new outfit would've been fine with him.

His dad wasn't supposed to be more interested in Finn than in him.

Burt had always seemed willing to listen to him wax on about  _Liza at the Palace_  or the latest Judy Garland movie he unearthed or how black and navy didn't go together. Kurt tried to talk about stuff Burt liked, he did, but it seemed much more easier for Burt to nod his head and chuckle at his son's enthusiasm with clothing and music than for Kurt to pretend he knew anything about football or baseball. His dad always just corrected what he said and made him feel stupid anyways.

It didn't hurt when Puck and Burt talked about  _Deadliest Catch_  or jammed to Melloncamp together, but Puck was his family already. And he had bonded with his dad before that was all Kurt had; Puck was fully integrated into the Hummel household by then. Finn was supposed to be the guy his dad felt the need to protect him from, the guy he was going to threaten a shotgun with on their first date. Finn wasn't supposed to make a joke that made the whole table laugh while Kurt's political reference was ignored.

Finn wasn't supposed to be the son Kurt's dad always wanted.

Kurt's eyes lowered to the table as he pushed his Shirley Temple away. He wasn't feeling so bubbly anymore.

—

Puck was chewing on a sandwich when Kurt ran down the stairs going straight to the swatches on the wall. Puck attempted to swallow his large bite before asking how the date was—he knew Kurt hated people talking with their mouth full—but he was interrupted by Burt coming downstairs.

"Pick one out yet?" he asked, assuming his son had since he was tearing them down with such ferocity.

"No. They're all wrong."

"I gotta tell ya, they all look gray to me," Burt shrugged. Puck nodded in agreement but stopped cold at Kurt's words.

"Maybe if they were different colored sports uniforms you'd remember them better."

Oh  _fuck_. It was this stuff again. Kurt always claimed he was cool with how Puck and Burt could talk about sports and other things, and for the most part he was, but every now and then Kurt would have to excuse himself from the room as they discussed stats to calm himself down. If they had just gotten back from the family dinner and Kurt was starting in on this…

Oh  _fuuuuck_.

"I knew it, I knew as soon as I started in on the football with Finn that you would take it personally." Burt stated as Kurt walked across the room to throw out the swatches.

"How could I not, Dad?" Kurt asked. "When was the last time you were that engaged in a conversation with me?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you want here."

"What I  _want_  is for you to recognize how hard it is for me to watch you bond with the son you obviously always wanted," Kurt hissed, walking back to his chair. Puck watched awkwardly from the couch, not sure if he should reassert that he was there or not.

"So I'm not the same guy who sat through  _Riverdance_  three years in a row?" Burt asked incredulously, crouching down by Kurt's vanity. "Look, I love you. And I love Puckerman over there," he added, nodding his head toward Puck as the teen stood up. "And I'm sympathetic to all your stuff, and you're perfectly fine with me and Noah watching games together. I don't know what's wrong with discussing football with Finn."

"Noah's my best friend and has been here all my life," Kurt whispered. "He's your second son already. Finn's not. You don't even  _know_  him and you prefer him to me."

"I don't at  _all_ , kid, c'mon," Burt insisted. "You know we have a deal anyways: I don't try to change you and you don't try to change me. You are my  _son_  and a little guy talk with some other kid isn't going to change that."

Puck winced inaudibly. That was definitely poor word choice on Burt's part.

"Guy talk?" Kurt asked, his voice thick with unshed tears. "I'm a guy."

"C'mon, you know what I mean," Burt said softly.

"Maybe I was wrong…maybe it  _is_  too soon for you to start being serious with someone."

Burt looked fatally wounded at Kurt's words, Puck noted as he stood absolutely still, not wanting to interrupt. "Your mom's been dead eight years, y'know that?" He stood up and nodded at Puck before walking to the stairs and stopping himself. Turning back around, he asked rather loudly, "Why did you set me up with her then? You said it was to make me happy."

"Can you please go? Noah and I are a half an hour behind in our movie schedule and I still need to moisturize tonight," Kurt said stiffly.

Begging with his eyes for Puck to comfort or smack sense into him, Burt slowly turned around and walked upstairs. As soon as the door clicked shut, Puck was at Kurt's side.

"I love Mama Mae, but she's rarely here. I already lost Mom; I can't lose Dad, too," Kurt said softly, as Puck rubbed his back.

Puck murmured  _shh_ 's at him until Kurt was taking deep breaths. "Okay, babe," Puck said softly, "I'll get the ice cream—I think we need that instead of healthy stuff—and you get dressed and we'll watch  _Mamma Mia_  and have a cry about growing up, okay?"

About two hours later, Puck was holding Kurt as he sniffed into a melted pint of Ben and Jerry's Phish Phood, both of them singing along to "Slipping Through My Fingers". But if anyone ever asked, Puck didn't have the whole soundtrack memorized. Nope.

" _The feeling that I'm losing her forever and without really entering her world…_ "

—

Kurt lifted his arms in victory as he stuck the landing on his jump at the roller rink, laughing and bowing as Tina and Artie clapped. "So you're the best in the wheelchair besides me and the best on regular wheels, too. You sure you weren't born on roller skates or something?" Artie laughed.

"No," Kurt laughed, "But I may just be a muse with an Australian accent sent to make Gene Kelly rich." Artie and Tina stared at him blankly. "… _Xanadu_? The Olivia Newton John classic? Really?" He shook his head, "Talk to you later."

He raced around the rink a few times, lapping Puck once, twice, three times until he finally skated backwards in front of him. "Need some help?"

Puck grumbled, "We grew up together; how in the hell did you end up a skating pro but I can barely stand?"

"I wanted to be like Michelle Kwan, remember? Mom signed me up for lessons." Kurt stated, watching Puck cling to the wall.

"And I wanted to be like Gretsky but I had to quit my skating class as soon as it started because my dad's an asshole," Puck nodded, remembering now. Kurt nodded back, Puck barely moving along the wall with how slow he had to go.

"Here, take my hands," Kurt said, offering them to Puck. Puck looked up at him warily. "Come on, you take them all the time, you can handle them now." He looked at the hands hesitantly before straightening up against the rink's edge and grabbing them, lurching forward slightly. "Good, good, now get your balance," Kurt murmured, smiling as Puck got it. "Now trust me, okay? You can do this, I promise. Just trust me."

"Okay," Puck said seriously. "I trust you."

"Good," Kurt smiled. "Let's go." And before Noah could stop him, Kurt slowly started backing up.

Puck tensed up immediately, falling forward and almost collapsing onto Kurt. Kurt managed to keep his balance, using his Cheerio training to keep Puck up with his arms. "You have to stay relaxed or you'll fall. Trust me, I got you. Okay? I got you."

Slowly, Puck looked back up at Kurt, locking eyes with him. "You got me. Okay."

"Okay," Kurt smiled. "I'm moving again, okay?" Puck nodded and Kurt started backing up again, slower than before. Puck started relaxing more, moving his feet to mimic Kurt's movements. Kurt got them going faster and faster, not noticing the eyes of the Glee club watching them suspiciously or how Mr. Schue hadn't tried to start practicing yet, too busy talking with April. He was too focused on Puck's hands in his, Puck's laughter as they started going faster, and then on dropping his hands all together, clapping and whooping as Puck managed to skate by himself.

Kurt attacked him with a hug, both of them managing not to fall over after a bit of scrambling of their feet. "See? I  _knew_  you could do it!" Kissing him on the cheek, Kurt asked, "Victory lap?" Then, without a warning, Kurt skated away, laughing as Puck grumbled and cursed at him as he tried to catch up.

Artie, Tina, and Mercedes looked over at Quinn, who was skating with Brittany and Santana, and she looked back to them before all four turned back to Puck and Kurt. The four raised eyebrows as Puck chased Kurt around the rink, both laughing joyously. Out of the corner of his eye, Artie noticed Brittany smiling at them knowingly—a creepy, foreign look on her face. Huh. That was something to investigate later. Except it was hard for Artie to talk to her; she always asked about how his friend R2-D2 was doing.

A few seconds later, Kurt jolted as he felt hands on his hips. Turning to see Puck, he laughed and continued to skate. "Told you you could skate," he teased, Puck gripping at his hips, his body getting closer to the back of Kurt's.

Puck grinned, "Told you guys would like having something to hold onto."

—

Kurt walked partway to where Finn stood at his locker, almost chickening out until he finally walked all the way over and said, "Finn, we have to talk." Finn looked down at him and Kurt continued, "We need to break up our parents immediately. I screwed up. I feel like the guy who set up Liza and David Gest…"

"It hurt you, didn't it?" Kurt looked up in Finn's eyes, surprised by his statement. "When I was talking sports with your dad and stuff. I could tell you felt…" Finn trailed off, not sure what was the right word to use.

"Left out? Invisible? Forgotten? Yeah," Kurt said sadly, avoid Finn's eyes. He never expected that the person he was in love with would inadvertently make him feel so unworthy.

Finn seemed to realize Kurt didn't want to dwell on it anymore so he continued, "Well, I don't like that my mom's forgetting about my dad. It's up to me to keep his memory alive. And I don't want to live with you." After a pause he added, "No offense."

"None taken," Kurt said with a smile. Oh wait, that actually totally hurt him. Why did he think anyone would want to live with him? "So we put an end to them. Agreed?"

"Agreed," Finn said firmly, shaking Kurt's outstretched hand and walking out of the hallway.

Kurt stood in silence for a few seconds until a voice interrupted his thoughts, "What was that?"

Turning to his best friend, Kurt sighed, "Nothing, Noah."

"That's bullshit and we both know that," Puck said forcibly, ignoring Kurt tensing up. "What were you talking about?" he asked tensely. Kurt opened and closed his mouth multiple times, trying to figure out what to say. His silence was all Puck needed to know, "You want to end the relationship." Kurt looked down and Puck gave a humorless laugh, "You want to end the first thing Burt has done since Mama Kate's death that has made him happy? You can't do that, you  _can't_."

Kurt grabbed at his books in his hands, stuttering out a response, "I-I don't want him to be unhappy I just, I can't…I can't—"

"What? Do you think he doesn't love you? Are you still focused on that? Really?" Noah asked, still angry as Kurt shrugged helplessly. "Kurt, you can't just break people up because you aren't the center of that person's universe anymore. He has a possible stepson there who doesn't want another father in his life. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you."

Kurt looked down and to the side, tears forming in his eyes. " _Babe_ ," Noah sighed, pulling him in for a hug, Kurt snuggling his head in the crook of Puck's neck. Noah rubbed circles into Kurt's back, occasionally glaring at a few stragglers in the hallway who stared at them. "You're not going to lose him, okay? He loves you more than anyone else in the world. Burt and I love you more than anyone else, more than  _anyone_  else. He loves you, Kurt,  _so_  much." Puck kept repeating the sentiment until Kurt finally whispered an  _okay_.

Puck pulled back and looked him in the eye, "You can't break them up, okay? I know you're hurt and all that, but you can't hurt him like that."

"Okay," Kurt said quietly. "You're right. I won't…I won't try to stop it."

—

"What is she doing?" Kurt hissed over at Santana and Brittany as Mercedes started talking. He loved the girl, he did, but they had a whole routine for the cheer magazine journalist to see and if she didn't do it, Coach would surely castrate her. Or whatever the female equivalent was, he wasn't sure what she used to threaten the female Cheerios but her seriousness when she told him that threat was enough to almost have his balls undrop.

Santana and Brittany shrugged but he was sure he saw a gleam in their eyes like they knew what was going on.

Then the song started.

Kurt stood up even straighter, his whole body tensing. He was a gay boy who grew up in the 90s and 00s, of course he recognized the song as soon as soon as it started. "Beautiful", one of Christina's finest, and the song he wore out on his copy of  _Stripped_. He swallowed the lump in his throat as Mercedes sang the opening verse, and while her riffs were slightly different from Christina's, she sounded just as flawless on it.

As the Cheerios turned around and started singing back up, Kurt's mind raced. Why was he letting his insecurities eat him away? First with his hips, then with his relationship with his dad…his dad loved him and he loved Carole and he couldn't just let his insecurities about not being the son his dad wanted ruin something that made his dad so happy.

He turned around and was shocked for a moment to realize that a whole bunch of people from the audience—including the entirety of the Glee club—had gotten up and joined Mercedes on back up. Searching through the crowd of people, Kurt eventually found Puck.

Noah turned at the feel of a warm body pressing up tightly against him. Looking over, he smiled and wrapped his arm around Kurt's waist, his other arm wrapping around Quinn's shoulders lightly as she gave him a small smile.

When the song ended, Kurt got out of Puck's hold and went to Mercedes. "I was wrong," he sighed with a smile, "I'm sorry." They pulled into a hug and Puck smiled over at them, his arm still over Quinn's shoulders. Kurt was going to be fine.

—

The honk of Kurt's car locking filled the otherwise quiet air in the neighborhood as he walked to Finn's house. He planned on telling him that they weren't going to break up their parents, hoping that he hadn't already tried or succeeded at getting Carole to leave his dad.

He reached the front door of the house when he turned around: that was his dad's car. Why was it there? He had told Kurt he was going to Carole's and Kurt assumed he meant on a date, but that was over an hour ago and they were still in the house. Frowning, Kurt went around the back of the house, a sneaking suspicion of what his dad's car was there for causing his stomach to sink. When he reached the sliding glass door, the doors that led straight to the living room of the house, he felt his heart drop to his feet.

Burt was there, pointing out football moves to Finn as the teen nodded intently. His dad not only preferred to spend time with Finn, he also didn't feel the need to tell Kurt what was going on or to ask him to join. To say it stung was a bit of an understatement.

After several long moments, Carole looked in from the kitchen, smiling as her two favorite men bonded. There was even visual evidence of how well they fit together: beautiful mother, manly father and son; Kurt wouldn't fit in their family portrait like that. He wasn't manly enough to be the right son, his flamboyancy and feminine features would stand out in a stark contrast to the perfect American family they had going right there.

It was too much to handle.

Kurt ran to his car and drove, not even noticing the tears in his eyes. At a red light, Kurt sent Puck a text to meet him at his house.

Thirty minutes later, Puck was caught up on the story as Kurt fell asleep in his arms, Puck rubbing circles in his back. Ten minutes after that, Puck was asleep as well, his head nuzzled into Kurt's neck. An hour after that, Burt made it home, not at all concerned at seeing Puck's car in the driveway; he probably came over to do homework and fell asleep, something the two did all the time. He looked in on his boys before going up to bed with a smile on his face, glad on the progress he made with Finn that night. He couldn't wait to add Finn and Carole to his little family he had with his son and the boy who was sure to be his son-in-law.

—

Puck was thankful that he had avoided April this whole time. She was so focused on nailing Mr. Schue that she barely gave him a passing glance. But as Puck waited for Kurt to be ready to leave, she finally spoke to him again.

"Hey there, Skipper, we had sex, right?"

"Yeah…yeah we did."

She said a soft  _oh_  in realization. "Right! You and that handsome young black gentleman! I got you to kiss. That was hot."

Puck's jaw clenched. It was something that caused him so much questioning and made him think… _things_  about his best friend and all she could say was that it was  _hot_? "Yeah, whatever."

"You know, you might be even hotter now," April started, looking at him dreamily before shaking her head quickly, "No, I'm gettin' sober, no more fucking high schoolers." Puck nodded idly, just wanting her to leave. She made him question himself  _and_  got Kurt drunk off his ass for "courage". He felt no need to deal with her.

"Yeah, I think you all got cuter. But you know he got  _really_  hot? The little gay kid I gave my muscle mags to. Have you seen his ass in that cheerleading outfit? Woo!" She fanned herself, not noticing Puck's reaction.

Thankfully Kurt came out of the choir room, back over his shoulder before Puck could say anything. "Oh, hi, April…" Kurt said awkwardly, grabbing Puck's hand. "Congrats on the money and everything. Good luck."

"Thanks, kiddos," she smiled widely. "Congrats on the relationship, he's a great lay!" She turned around and left, Puck and Kurt gaping in her wake.

"We're not—"

Kurt shushed him, "I'm pretty sure she's already drinking again, just ignore her." He squeezed Puck's hand and gently pulled him into walking the other way.

Puck snorted and walked with him, both of them content in silence. God, why could anyone think they were in a relationship? He was straight for the most part and in love with Quinn. Besides, even if he wanted Kurt, Kurt wanted Finn, they weren't ever going to be together. _Ever_.

Puck's stomach gave a painful twinge, puzzling him. They didn't have the fish tacos at lunch…


	13. Interlude One: Bad Reputation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt doesn't seem to realize how to be a badass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewrite of "Bad Reputation". The interludes are for any episodes that don't have much material to write on but I don't want to combine onto another chapter or skip completely.

"I can't believe I'm not on the Glist," Kurt repeated for the tenth time in Puck's presence.

Puck merely reached over and pinched his nose, "That's because you're  _too cute_  to be on such a mean ol' Glist."

"Stop that," Kurt glared, smacking his hand away. "Why am I not on there? I'm gay, doesn't that make me a sexual deviant by nature to anyone making that Glist?"

"Yeah, but you, like,  _exude_  innocence: pure white skin, no boyfriend, no sexual innuendos, doe eyes at Finn instead of bedroom eyes…" Puck trailed off with a shrug. "You're just as innocent as a Bambi, even with Glist Offender Number Two as your friend."

Kurt was in despair. "I'm a kid's show character. I'm PG—no, I'm not even PG, I'm freaking  _G_. Fun for the whole family. I might as well be a puppy or a puppet. A Muppet. A Muppet  _Baby_!"

"Hey, chill, dude, it's all good," Noah said calmly. "It's not a big deal. And if you want to be on it so bad, you can find ways to get less innocent. Dress sluttier or grind against a guy in the next Cheerios routine, cause some sort of disruption; it's not that hard."

Kurt's eyes widened as a thought formed in his head. Oh yeah, this would work. "Thanks, Noah. I have an idea."

—

"Kurt, what are you wearing?"

Kurt looked down at his outfit with a sheepish grin, the bright colors and MC Hammer pants totally not his normal look. "My fellow Muppet Babies and I," he gestured to Artie, Tina, Mercedes, and Brittany behind him, "Are performing a disruption in the library, guaranteeing us spots on the Glist."

Puck raised an eyebrow as the group looked at each other in encouragement and agreement. "So…are you having an orgy…that somehow involves big, silk diapers?"

"We're doing a musical number in the library," Artie said excitedly, "We really think it'll improve our rep."

Noah stared at them for a while, at all of their excited faces and ridiculous outfits. Then all at once he burst into laughter, having to lean against his locker for support as laughter ripped through his body. "You think…you all think…" he couldn't even finish the statement, involuntarily bending over in laughter at their shocked expressions.

Kurt pursed his lips at his best friend before giving the quiet command, "Let's go." They turned around and headed on their way, Puck not even noticing as he continued to laugh at their idea of what was Glist worthy.

—

"So how did your dance number go?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Come on, I'm sure you totally made the cool kids who hang out in the library feel totally lame in comparison."

"Shut up, Noah—"

"Sore subject? Maybe you should tell me I can't touch it?"

"Oh my God…"

"Ner ner ner nerrrr ner ner ner ner CAN'T TOUCH THIS!"

" _Daddy please don't, it wasn't his fault, he means so much to me!_ "

"…Not fair."

" _Daddy please don't, we're gonna get married—just you wait and see!_ "

"…Let's forget this week ever happened?"

"It's already exed out of my calendar."


	14. Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puck loses his Mohawk and therefore his reputation, causing him to turn to Mercedes for help and ignore Kurt during his hour of need. Kurt doesn't respond well and Santana is not happy about any of those developments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewrite of "Laryngitis"

"I still can't believe you don't wash your own Mohawk," Kurt said with a shake of his head from where he was perched on the Puckerman's counter, his legs crossed and an open issue of  _Us Weekly_  laying in his lap. "It's a basic grooming habit people learn in  _third grade_ , if not before, Noah."

"Yeah, I know, you tell me this like every time you're here when Ma does it," Puck reminded him, his head tilted into the sink with Mae's hands scrubbing at his line of hair. "And Quinn tells me now, too, you don't have to remind me every time."

Before Kurt could retort, the front door creaked open and slammed shut and soon the kitchen also contained Sara Puckerman. Noticing Kurt, she dropped her backpack and ran up to him, hugging his knees. He laughed softly, "Hey, little sis. How was school?"

"It  _sucked_ ," she pouted, scrambling to sit next to him as he closed his magazine. "A whole bunch of the older kids took the swings at recess before I could get there and then during math I got the problem she asked me to do wrong even though I had tripled checked it and everything! And  _Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing_  isn't funny and makes no sense but we have to listen to it during reading time, it's stupid!"

"Aw, I'm sorry, Sara, want me to do your hair? Will that make you feel better?" She nodded wildly, turning her back to him and asking for a French braid. Kurt pulled out the ponytail she had and quickly went to work at her scalp. He kept her entertained with a story of how he and Puck had to take on Karofsky and Azimio in elementary school when they wouldn't let Kurt ride the slide down.

"I don't understand why they're so mean to you, unless they like you or something! Ma told me that when Tommy pulls on my ponytail it means he likes me," Sara interjected, swinging her legs off the corner of the counter.

"Oh, that's true, they might, Kurt," Mae called from the sink in a sing-song voice, teasing evident in her body language.

Kurt snorted, "I'm pretty sure that's not the case. They're both just jerks who don't want people to be different because then they have to accept that they're simply mediocre." He continued with her hair and the story, "Anyways, so there I was, Puck had already gone down the slide and I was surrounded by these two goons who were bigger than me, even then. I had no idea what to do. So I start bad mouthing them like I always do, calling them idiots, insulting their fashion sense, everything I could think of back then, when I see Noah sneak up behind them. He gestured at me to keep talking so I kept making up more and more stuff. They kept getting angrier and angrier until, finally, Noah sprang into action, grabbing both of them and pushing them down the slide at the same time, right as Mrs. Wilkinson was walking by. They got accused of breaking the rules but sliding down at the same time and had to sit inside for the rest of recess. I never had a problem using the slide ever again."

Sara jerked her head to Pucks' direction, her mouth wide even as Kurt frowned as some of the braid came undone at her action. "You really did that, No?"

"Hell yeah," Puck said, Kurt rolling his eyes at his obvious "badass" demeanor he was adopting. "They gave me a ton of crap afterwards but you do what you can for your best friend."

Kurt raised an eyebrow as he turned Sara's head back to look straight in front of her. "You never told me they gave you crap."

"What? I didn't? Huh. Well, yeah, like in the dumb kids math class they were pretty brutal, just normal kid teasing, no big deal, I've dealt with worse."

"All because of me?"

"I guess because we're friends, yeah, but I've never had anything physical at least, people are too afraid of me to do that. But I guess I've taken some shit because of our friendship, I figured you knew that."

Kurt shrugs, "I guess I never really thought about that event in particular." As he braided Sara's hair, he thought on it more. Why was it bugging him to learn that Noah had to deal with so much to be his friend? He knew since they were in elementary school that Noah wanted to be his friend despite what other kids thought, but he never thought of him getting crap from others just by himself. He assumed that Noah's traditional good looks and bad boy image kept him popular enough that when he was without Kurt he was treated better than when Kurt was around, but apparently that wasn't true. Maybe it was bothering him because—

"Sara, can you go up to your room and start your homework?"

Sara and Kurt looked at Mae with wide eyes, concerned by her tone of voice. But after a moment Sara jumped off the counter, flouncing off with her book bag, humming the long division song she had learned at school. "Kurt? Can you come here?" Mae asked, ignoring Puck's questions about what was going on above his head.

Kurt got off the counter, slowly walking towards the sink. He looked over at them at Mae looked near tears. "Kurt, tell me that I'm seeing things and there  _isn't_  a mole sitting on my baby's scalp."

He leaned over the edge of the sink and winced at the sight. There was definitely a mole, and not the typical kind, barely noticeable due to the color and thickness of Puck's hair. He slowly looked back at her and nodded, squeezing her hand as she started to bawl dramatically, the only way Mae knew how to do things.

—

Puck looked over at Kurt after he finished checking in at the dermatology clinic. Kurt was watching the other people there—a few acne-prone teens and some old men with sunspots—with his finger in his mouth, chewing on a nail nervously. Puck sighed to himself and pulled the hand down, giving it a small squeeze as he held it. "Don't do that, Kurt; you'll ruin your manicure," Puck said monotonously, this being something he helped Kurt with every time he was upset enough to resort to his nervous habit.

"Do you want me to go in with you?" Kurt asked. "I know you know where the mole is and all but maybe it'll be better if you can have someone point it out and I kn—"

"I'm  _fine_ , Kurt," Noah sighed for at least the twelfth time in the past thirty minutes. "He'll look at my head, give me the all clear, and we'll be out of here and having celebratory blizzards at DQ or something."

"Or we'll go to my house for the secret ice cream stash I've hidden from my dad," Kurt gave him a small half smile and returned to his people watching, ignoring Puck's nerves. Puck hated it when Kurt could tell what he was truly feeling when it was something not so masculine.

Despite the cool demeanor he showed his best friend, Puck was terrified. Mama Kate died from ovarian cancer and while it was a different type of cancer and everything, the thought of having the same disease, of possibly having to go through that scared him beyond all belief. The idea of going through the chemo that made her so weak and fragile and the radiation that ruined her beautiful hair, to make his best friend go through watching one of the few loved ones in his life, one of the few people allowed past his cold exterior, go through the same sickly disease, it tore his heart up and made his stomach bubble unhappily with nerves. He couldn't put Kurt through it, or his mom or his baby sister of even Burt.  _Damn it_  he should've listened to his Ma and Kurt and put on sunscreen all those times. Kurt was so fucking adamant about sun safety and always had sunscreen with him, why was he an idiot who never asked to borrow any?

"Noah Puckerman?" Noah's head whipped to the nurse calling for him. He stood up, swallowing roughly and walking into the back area where the examining rooms were, Kurt mouthing  _I love you_  as he watched him go, his leg bouncing nervously.

It seemed like an eternity to Kurt until Puck finally walked back out, his old hoodie covering his head as he checked out. He gave Kurt a nod and they left the office, going towards the parking lot of the hospital. They were silent. When they finally reached the car, Puck muttered, "It was nothing."

Kurt let out a joyful laugh in disbelief, his eyes possibly getting the slightest bit misty. "Noah, that's great news! When you didn't say anything I assumed they were getting a biopsy or something but this is  _great_  why are you so unhapp—" Kurt stopped his blabbering as Puck's hoodie fell off to reveal a clean shaven head. "N-Noah, your…your—"

"'Hawk? It's gone? Yeah, I've noticed Kurt," Puck grumbled, running a hand through his scalp. "Damn it, Kurt, I've lost everything in one fucking move. The stupid doctor couldn't see it well enough or some shit and now I have lost the secret to my badassness and my ability to woo women and everything! It's not fair, Kurt, it's just not fair." To complete the rant, he gave a childlike pout, crossing his arms as he kicked the glove compartment drawer.

"Hey, don't hit my baby!" Kurt immediately reprimanded, wiping the area of his car with his hand. He sighed heavily and looked at Puck out of the corner of his eye for a moment before turning back to the road. "Look, if you keep acting like that, you won't get any women or whatever you think fulfills your life. Girls go for you because of your attitude and tan and muscles and looks, the Mohawk had absolutely _nothing_  to do with that. So stop acting like an insolent little kid and you'll still get some action."

Puck continued to pout for a while. But slowly and surely he uncrossed his arms and sat up a bit straighter. When they arrived at Kurt's house, he pulled up his hood and swagged all the way out of the car and into the house. He totally still had game.

—

He had no game.

Santana was the  _easiest_  catch for him. They were complete friends with benefits, sexing up each other practically every other day and now she was denying him. He  _knew_  he lost all his power with that goddamn haircut, why did he let Kurt convince him otherwise? If he couldn't get Santana of all people to hook up with him, if he couldn't get people to flinch when he walked towards them, if he wasn't the badass anymore…what the hell was he?

He was so bummed that he didn't notice Jason Ben Israel and his team of freak friends sneak up on him. He was so upset he didn't fight them, knowing he could take every single one of them out. He was garbage, human garbage, and he deserved to be thrown into the dumpster.

As he lifted his head out over the edge, he was caught by the strange sight of Mercedes surrounded by popular girls, all of their Cheerio uniforms waving in the breeze as they jammed. That was right, she was a Cheerio now, too; Puck had a hard time remembering that she was now up higher on the social ladder (it didn't help Kurt too much since he was a male one after all). Man, if only he could convince her to date him. That would fix everything. He'd be hot shit again in the female world because nothing said attractive to a woman like "taken"…

She looked over at him, raising an eyebrow at his current location. He smiled his winning smile and sent her a wink, causing her to raise her eyebrow even more and turn back around in confusion. Oh yeah, he  _so_ had game again.

—

"Hey, 'Cedes," Puck greeted Mercedes at her locker, his badass façade on and ready. "I have a proposition to make. I did some research and blacks and Jews have a history of sticking up for each other. And Wikipedia says that King Martin Luther  _loved_  the Jews."

"Okay, you just said, like, ten offensive things," Mercedes said monotonously. Puck saying unintentionally offensive things was something you dealt with when you were friends of sorts with him and great friends with his best friend.

"The point is, you're popular now, and I, to be honest, need to spice up my image a little. We should join forces. It won't take much, just a little light making out—I like a girl with curves. Plus, you have to admit, I'm easy on the eyes."

Mercedes let out a laugh, "You're not serious." She looked up at him and lost her smile, "…you're serious. Wow." She paused for a moment, trying to figure out how the hell Puck thought this was a good idea. "Baby, I am just not attracted to you. And I know what you do with girls who you date. You knock 'em up and hang them out to dry."

"Quinn and I weren't dating—and  _you_  were one of the people telling me not to chase after her. And she knew I'm a sex shark; if I stop moving, I  _die_ ," Puck insisted, just barely stopping himself from pleading.

"Okay, I'm going to ask you to stop because I'm getting embarrassed for you. You and me would  _not_  work out," Mercedes said, shutting her locker. Shaking her head, she said, "Think of Kurt, think of  _our_  friendship. It's such a mess already, do we really want to risk breaking whatever this friendship is just so you can improve your image? And we have  _nothing_  in common; You're Top 40, I'm Rhythm and Blues."

Puck watched her go, lips pursed. Why did no girls want him anymore? Santana, Brittany, random Cheerios, Rachel, Mercedes, Quinn…he clenched his fists and went the opposite direction. He would get her, he  _would_. He might not be accepted by Quinn as her baby's father or Santana's first choice as a make out partner anymore, but he was  _not_  losing this battle.

As soon as Mercedes turned the corner, her phone was out and to her ear, "Artie, we have a problem."

—

Mercedes just smiled and nodded as Kurt talked about castratos and Whitney Houston, even though she'd normally correct him by pointing out the obvious fact that only  _she_  was allowed to sing Whitney, thank you very much. Puck's sudden interest in her, though just for popularity reasons, was messing with her head and while she normally would talk to Kurt about those things, telling him that Puck was trying to date her for selfish reasons would probably just piss Kurt off. She just wanted to stay out of that whole Puckurt dynamic; meddling had done little to no good before, after all, Artie's words ringing in her head.  _"Whatever you do, don't fall for it. It'll screw up your friendship with Kurt and push Puck and Kurt farther away, which we definitely do not need right now."_

"Hey, Kurt!"

Kurt turned around from his conversation with Mercedes, shocked to say the least. Why was his dad at school? Then his mind went to panic mode, remembering the last time Burt went to school to see him; at Clover Field Elementary School, Burt picked up Kurt to take him to the hospital, the doctor having told him that Kate wasn't going to last much longer. "What are you doing here, is everything okay?"

"No, yeah, everything's fine, I'm just here to get Finn. I managed to get two tickets to the Reds game, so I thought I'd take him. He's never seen a major league game, y'know? I mean, Cincinnati is barely major league, but still—"

"And why wasn't I invited?" Kurt asked, trying not to jump to the obvious conclusion.

"You kidding me?" Burt let out a small chuckle. "Every time I watch a game with you, you just talk about how the guys are all wearing stirrup pants."

"That's because there's never an excuse for stirrup pants!" Kurt said, exasperated.

But before he could say anything else, Finn came out of the choir room, happier than Kurt had ever seen him, running out to the car like a little kid. Like Kurt used to run out of school when his dad would pick him up and take him to the garage, back before his sexuality wasn't in the open, before his dad met the guy who should've been his son.

"This is going to be so great," Burt said excitedly, slowly backing away from Kurt. "It means so much to him and it means so much to his mom, too. So I'll be home late, around midnight. See you, Kurt."

And there he was, alone, his dad so eager to spend time with his new son that he didn't stop to think about Kurt, how he felt. Kurt stared at the empty spot for a few moments. Finally he took a deep breath and walked off, determined to find Noah.

—

"Hey, Noah…" Kurt started, holding onto the strap of his messenger bag with both hands, his feet close together. Noah knew that look; that was the "I'm too proud to ask for comfort but I need some hugs right now" look. It was the look he gave every time Mama Kate came home sicker from the hospital treatments, when the bullying got a bit too much, the look he gave the night Burt was watching the game with Finn.

Never had Puck been so annoyed by one look.

"Look, Kurt, I know my problems are just shallow compared to yours because you're deeper or whatever, but I don't have time to deal with yours right now, I'm trying to work through my own shit, okay?" Puck groaned, running his hands over his head and scraping at the bare flesh. He needed to win Mercedes over, he needed it or his whole identity would be gone.

Kurt looked confused, bewilderment delaying the pain of his best friend rejecting him in a moment of need. "What?"

"Kurt,  _Santana_  rejected me, you were wrong, my Mohawk was everything. Can you just go—"

"Really? You're pissed that you aren't getting laid?" Kurt snarled, his hands dropping to his sides. "My dad is replacing me with the dream son he always wanted and you're pissed that you don't have a place to stick your dick that isn't your hand?"

"You  _know_  it's more than that, Kurt, this is my whole fucking identity stolen from me! I'm the player, the badass. Now no one fears me, no one wants to sleep with me. What the hell am I now?" Puck collapsed into the chair, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands.

"You're Noah Elijah Puckerman, my best friend in the whole world, the best guy I know. Why are you freaking out about this?"

"My life isn't defined by you, Kurt. I'm my own person, do you not realize that?"

Kurt rolled his eyes, "Of course I recognize that you're your own person. But yelling about it isn't going to help. Can you stop being a stupid boy and be my Noah so we can talk and work this out?"

Puck wasn't sure why that comment pushed him over the edge, why that made him act out, but before he knew it, he was yelling at Kurt. Actual yelling, raised voice and everything. He never did that before. "Kurt, can't you just be a fucking normal guy for once? I've put up with your cooking and fashion and theater shit all for you, now can you just fucking man up and do what guys do and leave me alone? My reputation was bad enough  _with_  my fucking 'hawk because of you, now I have  _nothing_. Do you not get it?"

The room was silent for a long time as Puck caught his breath, his fists unclenching. As his breathing evened, he realized what he had just done, the weight of the words he just spewed from his mouth. Chancing a look at Kurt, his stomach sank. Kurt's face was tight and pale, his eyes blinking rapidly as he attempted not to cry. "Shit, Kurt, you know I didn't mean—"

"No. You're right. I need to 'man up.' I need to make things easier for everyone," Kurt said slowly, his voice wavering a bit at the end as he looked up at Puck, his chin jutting out defiantly. "And you bet I'll 'man up' more than you ever could. Just you fucking wait." He stared at Noah for a few moments and then finally grabbed a large stack of sheet music off the piano, walking over to Noah and hitting him  _hard_. "See you tomorrow," he said calmly as he put the sheet music back on the piano.

Puck watched Kurt walk out, various curse words flowing through his head as he insulted himself and rubbed his arm; Kurt had stronger arms than he ever really let on.

—

Burt was concerned. Actually, concerned was an understatement. He was bewildered, flabberghasted, confused, shocked, and walking in a daze. Normally Kurt dressed like, if he was brutally honest, an even gayer version of that Jack guy on  _Will and Grace_. Now his son was dressed like…well, like  _him_.

He had an internal debate if he should ask Kurt what was up with the sudden love of flannel or if he should keep silent on the sudden change. Teens always had their phases, and maybe Kurt was just trying out a new look for a while. And while he loved his son, he still wasn't very good at that whole communication thing; he was more of a sit and wait to see how things turned out type of guy. So maybe parenting books said he should try talking to him, but his relationship with Kurt wasn't like a traditional father-son one, either.

Despite the internal debate, he took Kurt out for burgers, wanting a freaking burger without feeling guilty. And he had to admit it was nice talking to Kurt about something he liked, explaining Mellencamp to him, Kurt nodding and encouraging his words as he ate his burger as if he was starving (finally hitting puberty seemed to do that to him). He smiled crookedly, talking in a low voice that seemed to be a bit of a strain for him. "Do you have a cold or something, Kurt?"

His eyes widened for a brief instant, looking more like his normal self. But before Burt could even blink, he had that relaxed look weird lip snarl back and answered in that low voice, "No, I'm fine. Puberty to go with the growth spurt, it's normal." Burt gave him a look but nodded, letting the subject drop. If Kurt didn't want to tell him what was up, he couldn't force him. Kurt was far to stubborn for that and always needed some time before he could say what was wrong with him.

"So, then you get to 'Jack and Dianne'; it was our unofficial song, your mom and I…"

—

Puck was thankful that Kurt wasn't in the room as he started his speech on Sammy Davis Jr. Kurt was pissed at him already, and as soon as he found out that he was going after Mercedes, well, he wasn't going to get any happier. The best method to solving most of their fights, Puck had discovered, was letting Kurt rage to himself for a while, let him cry and hit his pillow and listen to his angry playlist. Then after a day or two, they'd talk it out, both calmer and less likely to blow up, and everything would be fine. And while he felt absolutely  _horrible_  for what he said, he knew trying to find him and trying to talk to him would do them both no good.

So he'd wait for Kurt to calm down then apologize profusely. They'd talk about why Puck felt like that, they'd apologize repeatedly, and they'd move on after a long hug. But right now he needed to focus on getting Mercedes and getting his reputation back, getting his life back. He focused so much he didn't notice Santana's Lima Heights Adjacent look.

—

Mercedes was smiling as she walked into her locker. Well, she was smiling until she saw Quinn standing there, her old bitch face on. Sighing, she walked over, "Look, I never thought I could fall for someone like Puck, especially since we're barely friends as is, but something just happened between us. I know he's just in it for popularity, but it's nice for a guy to want me for something, you know?"

Quinn blinked. "I'd say go for it…but what about Kurt? He's one of your closest friends. Are you really willing to get caught in the crosshairs of this whole not-a-relationship-but-totally-a-relationship thing?"

"What else can I do but go with the flow? We've talked about this; we can't do anything to push it. And maybe it will push them towards admitting," Mercedes shrugged. "I just don't see it harming anyone."

The blonde studied her for a bit more before finally relenting, "It would be nice to get him out of the house; I'm tired of hearing his theories about how  _Super Mario_  changed the world…I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Quinn, I know what this is, I'm not going to let him hurt my heart—"

"It's not your heart I'm worried about," Quinn said. " _I_  may be okay with this, Kurt may be okay with this when he finds out what happens, but not even Puck will be able to stop Santana." She walked away as Mercedes stood at her locker, the tiniest bubble of concern forming.

—

As Mr. Schue called Glee Club to order, Kurt walked into the choir room, Mellencamp gear covering his thin frame and his hair unstyled under a baseball cap. "Is that a new guy— _oh my god_!" Tina whispered, her hand covering her mouth as she gasped. The members of New Directions slowly stopped and stared as he readied himself for his performance, Mr. Schue looking bewildered as he sat down.

The heavy guitar part started, the song obviously not from a Broadway musical like expected. Finn smiled and nodded his head to the beat, one of the few who enjoyed the performance. Quinn's maternal instincts were acting up, especially with someone so fragile and around her as much as Kurt; she just stared, eyebrows raised, any ideas of what to do escaping her head. Tina felt slightly sick, because he sounded pretty good, but it wasn't Kurt and how the hell did that happen? Rachel was frankly upset that Kurt was obviously not following directions and not doing a song that defined who he was, though she felt a bit of apprehension as to what this all meant. Santana avoided looking at Kurt, an unexplained sadness in her eyes; she didn't care about him or anything of course, but seeing someone so strong, someone who must be a role model for people gay people…it hurt. Matt stared at Brittany clapped along softly, enjoying the performance far too much. And Artie conversed briefly with the people around him, trying to figure out if anyone knew what was up with Kurt. Because whatever was up with Kurt probably had something to do with Puck.

Most of the group, even Mr. Schuester, turned to look at Puck after a while, wanting to see his reaction to his best friend losing his mind. Puck looked strained, more tired than anyone had ever seen him, like his mind was racing faster than he could keep up as he stared at Kurt. His eyes were narrowed and he leaned his forearms onto his knees, guilt forming a knot in his stomach. Had he done this to Kurt? He loved the Mellencamp, but this wasn't right. He was supposed to make up with Kurt in a few more days, but he couldn't make up with him if Kurt wasn't really there.

As the group clapped half-heartedly, Kurt did his best to walk like a stereotypical manly man up to his teacher. "Is there something  _wrong_ , Mr. Schue?" his voice struggling to stay at a lower pitch.

"I just don't think you got the point of the assignment," he said slowly, standing up. "You were supposed to find a song that was about who you really are."

"I'm not a box," Kurt whispered, his voice higher and softer, his emotions stopping his attempt to be "manly". "There are more than four sides to me." (Artie frowned; there were definitely six sides to a box).

"Kurt, you need to be who you are, even if it's difficult. You can do things that literally no one else can, and that's what we need." Kurt stared at him for a split second then turned on his heel, walking towards the door as Mr. Schue called for a short break.

"Hey, Kurt!" Brittany called after him, smiling as he turned back around. Puck watched them interact, noting Brittany's flirty look as she turned around and Kurt's shocked expression during the whole exchange. The knot in his stomach twisted again; he knew what that look on Brittany meant, and he was actually afraid Kurt might go through with her offer.

—

"Kurt, you can't do this," Puck said as he stormed to Kurt's locker, Kurt pretending not to be slightly freaked by the sudden noise by his ear.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said in the low voice, pulling out his Advanced Placement European History book.

"Bull shit, you know exactly what I'm talking about," Puck replied, his voice still gentle. "Why are you doing this, Kurt?" he asked softly, leaning in towards him. "I'm sorry for what I said, Kurt, I say stupid things, you know that—"

"You said the truth and I'm just sticking to it," Kurt shrugged, refusing to look Puck in the eye. He started pulling away, but Puck grabbed his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Kurt—"

"Stop touching me," Kurt said roughly, pulling his hand out of Puck's. "I need to go, I have a date with Brittany to prepare for."

Puck felt his stomach twist up even more, "Kurt, you can't go through with this." He grabbed his shoulders and looked him square in the eye, "Listen to me, Kurt, no one wants you to change, okay? Kurt, we love you for who are you, we don't want this…thing you're trying to be." Kurt still looked down at his feet so Puck pulled him into a hug, holding on tight. "I'm sorry, Kurt, I'm so sorry."

"Stop it!" Kurt finally protested, pulling out of Puck's hold after a bit of a struggle. "That's just plain weird, dude," he said, a hint of anger shining in his eyes. "You should try being a normal guy for once."

Noah felt his whole body freeze as Kurt walked away, his last words stinging like a bee. He would take those words since he threw them at Kurt in the first place, but it still hurt. Obviously he needed to do the trusted method of just waiting things out with Kurt. They'd be okay in a few days…right?

—

Kurt prepared his basement for his first kiss, lighting up tea candles and dimming the lights in his room. He didn't stop to think if it was a straight thing to do, just thinking about how he dreamt someone's perfect first kiss should go. Obviously he imagined Finn or Taylor Lautner or something, but at least  _someone_  wanted him. And maybe it wouldn't be that bad because Brittany knew how to kiss at least, right? He felt a bit bad about using her to try to help his relationship with his dad, but at least she was getting another notch in her bedpost, so to speak.

He put a sign on his doorknob to "warn" his dad as the doorbell rang. Swallowing audibly, he slowly opened it, putting his macho face back on. Instead of attempting conversation with Brittany, Kurt just led her to the basement, both of them sitting on the couch.

Several moments later, Kurt finally spoke up. "So…I, um, just lean in and…?" Kurt leaned in a bit, trying to angle his head just right.

"You've never kissed anyone, Kurt?" Brittany asked with a smile, tilting her head to the side. As Kurt pulled back with a blush, Brittany giggled. "Here, I'll show you just like how Santana showed me." With a bit of force, Brittany pushed Kurt onto his back, his legs resting on the couch's arm. Before he could move his boots off the furniture, she leaned over him, her hair tickling his cheek and her breath brushing against his lips. "Just relax," she whispered, leaning in until her lips gently pressed against Kurt's.

As she slowly moved his lips against his, Kurt's eyes opened again. Her lips were soft and thankfully her back was arched enough that her boobs weren't against his chest because boobs…just…no. He knew he wasn't straight, he just wanted to make his dad happy and attempt to make it up to Puck for all those times he got shit for being his friend, even if he was pissed and hurt because of what he said.

He gently moved Brittany's exploring hand away from his ass, his eyes still wide open as she recognized the weird taste on her lips. "Your lip gloss tastes like root beer," he whispered, glad to have a break from kissing her. "It's weird."

She didn't seem so keen on it, moving her lips back to his. Thankfully he managed to distract her again, "Can I ask you a question?" She didn't say anything so he asked something he wanted to know for the longest time, "What do boys' lips taste like?"

"Usually dip. Sometimes hamburgers. Or my armpits," Brittany answered, Kurt's eyes widening. "Kissing my armpits is a huge turn on for me," she said in a sultry whisper, leaning back into Kurt's lips.

Kurt was too bewildered to say anything, letting her kiss him again. He thought about those times Puck talked about hooking up with Brittany, how she kissed well, how she loved sucking him down and would do just about anything. Throughout every detail he never mentioned kissing her armpits, though, just regular kisses and "sexual relations", as Kurt liked to call it.

He kind of wanted to stop her and ask if each boy had a different taste and feel to their lips, if some guys had softer lips or if they all had rough ones, if some were more domineering while some were more hesitant and gentle. Did she kiss Finn on that date with him and Santana? Was he gentle? Were his lips as soft as they looked? What about Matt? Mike? He even was curious how Puck was as a kisser. He was probably rough, his lips soft and plump as he leaned in, his strong arms holding and his hands exploring like Brittany's continued to attempt to do—

Kurt gasped into the kiss, feeling a rush of something rushing through him out of nowhere, a shiver passing through his spine. Before he could even think about his sudden want of lips on his as he thought about his best friend, he heard his dad apologizing for walking in. Fighting a smile, he sat up, immediately forgetting about his strange thoughts as his plan on getting his dad's approval moved ahead.

—

Santana was an angry person. She'd never deny it and no one she knew would, either. Whereas some people healthily worked through their hurt and depression and anger, Santana wound it up inside and thrust it back out as pure fury toward everyone else.

Except for Brittany, of course. Brittany was the one person she could be a natural human being around, the one person she trusted enough to be nice enough to and hold back all her snark from. She called her dumb once and vowed never to do it again, no matter how frustrated she'd get, the crushed look Brittany sported afterwards breaking her heart in a way that none of the rest of the Glee Club losers looks could.

But that wasn't the point, Brittany wasn't the point. Brittany was not the only person in her life, the person who was like the Kurt to her Puck—Puck, now  _Puck_  was her problem. Puck was being a whiny little bitch so she didn't hook up with him, and now suddenly he was going after Wheezy? Uh-uh, not on her watch. Puck was  _her_  property,  _her_ hook up partner,  _her_  booty call, and he wasn't going to be with anyone, not Mercedes or Quinn or  _anyone_.

And, hey, if Brittany wanted to make out with the King of the Gays to keep her perfect record, that was none of Santana's business, right? Brittany was just her friend, her best friend, but still her friend. She wasn't  _hers_  and never would be—not that she wanted that, either. She wanted Puck.

She wanted what was hers.

—

"And that's why  _Super Mario 3_  was such a breakthrough; the others didn't have the Start Worlds!" Mercedes rolled her eyes quite obviously as Puck ranted on about his favorite video game, wondering how Kurt dealt with this man as his best friend. Maybe that's why he was off the deep end right now…

"Look, Puck, I realize you've probably never dated a sister, so I need to tell you that we have  _needs_  that you are  _not_  fulfilling right now," she finally interrupted, ready to shove knives into her eyes if he kept on talking about  _Super Mario_.

"Um…okay?"

"Like the first think you should know is that I like those frozen coffee drinks."

"Oh, like the ones that Kurt drinks every now and then when he's on a calorie splurge?" Puck said with a small smile. Mercedes raised an eyebrow—seriously, he knew Kurt's guilty pleasure drink, how outstandingly heterosexual of him. He stopped smiling with a clear of his throat, "I should get you one of those?"

"Decaf."

Nodding, he walked down the hall, not noticing Mercedes watching him but noticing Jacob Ben Israel flinching and looking away. Woah oh ho, this was rich. He slammed him into a locker, "What was that about?"

"Y-you're dating Mercedes Jones and she's one of the most popular kids in this school. You're cool-o-meter is off the charts and everyone's scared of you again," he mumbled, avoiding forced to look into Puck's eyes.

Puck started to smile slowly—his bad boy persona was totally making a comeback, fuck yeah! As Jacob smiled back, he slammed him back into the locker, taking out his frustration with Kurt and Mercedes on him. "Did I say you could do that? Now go get my girl a frozen coffee—decaf!"

He pulled off of Jacob and pushed him away, walking in the opposite direction, relishing in the turned on looks girls gave him and the various flinches and scared expressions. But of course the best part had to be Santana giving him her sex eyes, her hips swaying in her Cheerio skirt as she walked away. Damn, her ass was fine. Like, right up there with Quinn's (and Kurt's, but he was  _not_  thinking about that).

—

When Kurt walked into the choir room the day after making out with Brittany, he immediately walked towards Puck on instinct, Puck's legs spread as he leaned back in his chair, his lap basically inviting him to sit on it. He stopped himself right in front of Puck, looking down at him with an open mouth for a split second. Puck looked up at him hopefully, but Kurt merely swallowed and nodded, moving to an open spot a few chairs away next to Brittany, his girlfriend…or something.

Brittany's head was tilted to the side in confusion during all of Santana and Mercedes' duet. She had no idea why Santana was fighting over Puck since she barely liked him. And if Puck belonged to anyone it was obviously Kurt, they were  _totally_  like star-covered lovers or whatever that phrase was. Like, she was seriously confused as to why they weren't having sex yet, but she was glad she had an opportunity to make out with him, his lips were really soft and tasted almost like a girl's. And it kept her record up because obviously she had made out with Puck and Matt and Mike so now Finn was the only guy in Glee club she hadn't made out with, besides Mr. Schue and his son and that robot, of course.

She turned to Kurt to see if he understood why Mercedes and Santana were fighting, but all she could see was a raised eyebrow, a tense jaw, and a glare at Santana as she ran her hands over Puck's chest. Seeing him so upset made her sad, like when her baby cousin cried and it made her want to cry as well. She had noticed that Kurt looked happiest when Puck held his hand, so she reached over and grabbed his hand, smiling as he turned to her in slight shock at the contact. He slowly and unsurely smiled back, his hand rather limp in hers as he tried to ignore whatever the hell was going on with the rest of the club.

—

Mercedes' mind was racing as she left school, no idea what to do about this whole Pucktana/Puckurt predicament she got herself into. Man, she really should've just listened to Quinn. Her thoughts weren't helped by the fact that as she left the school she found Puck lining up kids to be thrown in the garbage. He may not have been doing the throwing, but he definitely was the reason why they were waiting in line.

"Puck, what is this?" She asked, never having seen him bully anyone before. "Don't you just rule my sheer fear of retaliation?"

He shrugged, "With the 'hawk gone, I have to do something to improve my rep. I normally pull something like this every few months to keep my rep going."

"Really? Because I've never seen you do this before."

"Well, yeah, because it's normally just little things like pranks outside of school or something to Jacob who no one gives a damn about," Puck said like it was the most obvious fact in the world. "Kurt was always more important than my badass reputation, so he was never in the line of fire, but of course I slushied some kids and stuff, just not as often as Karofsky and Azimio and those other idiots. Normally you add the fact that I get so much action and there's no reason for me to get shit because Kurt and I are friends."

Mercedes frowned, trying to soak it all in, never having realized all the thought Puck put into his reputation and popularity. She took him away from the crowd, "Puck…you're better then this. You're better than throwing kids into dumpsters and being a bully. Aren't you tired of this?"

Puck gave her a weird look, "Of course I am." Cutting off her further ranting, he added, "Look, I'm going to be real with you, so consider yourself lucky to be let into the Puckster's head. I don't know what else to be. I live in a poor area of town and like doing bad things; this is my identity. And, well…it keeps Kurt safe. As long as I'm his friend and I have this image, no one touches Kurt past throwing him in the dumpster. And, you know, there needs to be order in this place. As stupid as it is, jocks are at the top and if freaks like Jacob try taking over…You don't have to like it but you have to accept that high school is like this."

The two stood in silence for a while after Puck's big reveal of his psychological need to be a jerk. "Does Kurt know this?"

Puck sighed, "I don't know, probably not. If he did, he'd blame himself and get pissed at me at the same time, that's just who he is. I think part of why he's upset this week is because I said some stupid things as the stress of all this shit got to me. Plus him and his dad and everything…"

"Wait, what's wrong with his dad?"

He stared at Mercedes and clapped her on the shoulder, "A best friend never reveals the other's secrets. Even when that best friend has been a horrible best friend." With that he went back to the line, his whole demeanor changing to a faux badass vibe.

—

"Hey, girl, where's your Cheerios uniform?"

"I quit the team," she said simply, still walking.

"WHAT?" Puck nearly shouted, his mind going into a panic mode. Oh God, his reputation and Santana and Kurt… _fuck_.

"I just felt like I wasn't me when I put that uniform on," Mercedes shrugged, turning to him. "And Glee may be lame, and I may be one of those geeks that should be at the bottom of the heap according to this school's insane hierarchy, but Glee at least tells me to be true to who I am which is something you should try sometime, Puck. You're not a bully; you're better than that, whatever your stupid image is. And Lord knows Kurt needs a reminder of that right now and that's one lesson I have no idea how to get through his head." With a nod she left him in the middle of the hallway, that coil of guilt bubbling in his stomach again.

—

"You're hands are so soft!" Brittany cooed as she gripped Kurt's hand in the halls. He seemed to like having the replacement now that Puck was all up on Mercedes and Santana didn't seem to want to link pinkies with her anymore, so she had no reason to say no to it. It was actually really nice because, again, her baby-faced friend had really soft hands.

"My secret?" He leaned in, "Duck fat." Brittany ignored that, not wanting to think of poor, fat duckies. "Hey guys, just holding hands with Brittany," Kurt said in that low voice as they walked past Tina and Artie, both of them looking like they just had the school's fish tacos. But it wasn't Wednesday...was it?

"Seriously, your hands are so soft. They're like a baby." She looked at his baby face and smiled, "Now I know what it's like to date a baby!"

Kurt gave her that look he seemed to give her whenever she spoke but was distracted when someone called out for him. They turned around and found Kurt's dad, Brittany smiling even more. They were dressed like twins or something, how cute! She smiled at Burt Hummel absent mindedly, not really paying attention to what was being said.

"Can you leave us alone beau?"

"What?" She asked, realizing Kurt was talking to her but not understanding his words.

"Just leave."

"Oh!" She let go of his hand and walked off, deciding to find Santana.

Kurt didn't watch her go; he just turned to his dad and asked, "Did you ever think that maybe that was something I wanted to do with you?"

Burt's mind slowly started putting things into place, slowly piecing together why Kurt was upset. "Look, Finn needs a buddy right now. At the game he started talking about his dad and his mom and I think it's good for him to do that. We can spend all the time together you want later, okay?" He clapped Kurt on the shoulder and headed down the hall.

As soon as he found Finn outside, however, he knew he had to talk to Kurt. He explained, "Something's up with Kurt, Finn. I think you've noticed he's been dressing weird all week?"

Finn's brow furrowed, "Uh, yeah, I've noticed, I just thought he was trying a new look or something."

"Yeah, well I'm pretty sure it's more than that. I need to talk to him, I'm sorry, we'll get hoagies some other time, alright?"

Finn looked down for a moment but nodded, "That's cool, I don't want Kurt being upset. And aren't hoagies like really bad for you anyways? Mom says you should stay away from things like that."

Burt rolled his eyes with a scoff, "Great, now Carole's got you on board of making me eat like a rabbit." He laughed with Finn and gave him a nod, "See you later, Finn."

Finn smiled, "See ya, Burt. Make sure Kurt's okay."

—

When Burt finally found Kurt, he was slightly relieved to find him in his normal clothes, singing. But this wasn't his normal singing, his normally floating, beautiful voice practically  _growling_  out the words. But if he ever doubted Kurt's talent, he was totally free of those doubts; if there was one thing Kurt could do, it was definitely performing.

When Kurt finished, Burt clapped, finally revealing himself from the shadows, much to Kurt's shock. "Dad. What happened to hoagies?"

"I took a rain check; too much cholesterol," Burt said with a smile, hoping Kurt would at least find some joy in that.

But he didn't take the bait, instead saying, "I'm sure Finn was disappointed."

"He was…until I explained that I wanted to check out on you because you were bent out of shape."

"Me? I'm fine."

"Kurt, I'm dumb, but I'm not stupid," Burt said, going closer to his son. "I don't know what your song was about, Kurt, but fine don't sing like you just sung." Kurt didn't say anything, so Burt moved so he was right in front of him, speaking quietly. "Maybe I went overboard with spending time with Finn, but I told you this thing with you was going to be hard."

"'Thing with me'? You mean being gay," he said tightly.

"Yeah. Being gay." Kurt looked closer to crying every single moment, so Burt had to react and fast, had to let him know where he was coming from. "Look, I'll fight to the death for your right to love who you love, but when you were a baby and I held you in my arms, did I dream about talking to you about girls and taking you to baseball games? Yeah, I did. A lot of fathers do."

"I had no idea how disappointing I was," Kurt said quietly, walking off towards the backstage area. No, this was  _not_  right, Kurt was going to listen to him whether he liked it or not.

"Hey, stop it right now, I'm talking to straight to you, don't go off playing the victim," Burt said in a slightly louder, stern voice he rarely used with Kurt. Kurt stopped walking, his back still turned to him. "You know that's not what I mean."

Kurt turned back to him, "I know. I'm sorry. I know you're working hard on yourself to make all of this okay. It's just seeing you, the way you are with Finn, how easy it is…it breaks my heart." He turned back around, trying to collect himself as the light bulb finally turned completely above Burt's head.

"Is that why you started dressing differently, singing Mellencamp, pretending to date that daffy cheerleader?"

"I just wanted you to know," Kurt stared, turning back to him, "I'm going to work as hard as you to make this okay. And I want Noah to know that I'll work as hard as him to make our friendship okay, to make sure he doesn't get crap anymore because we're friends."

"You don't have to work at anything, Kurt, nothing about this. Your job is to be yourself and my job is to love you no matter what. That and a majority ownership of a tire shop, that's all we got. But if we stick to that, we'll be great. And Puckerman has dealt with these small town idiots because you're worth it, Kurt. You matter to him, to me, to Mae, Sara, to your Glee Club friends, to a lot of people, Kurt. And will things be rough sometimes because how the world is and how people are? Yeah, but that doesn't make them love you any less. And it's not your job to make everyone love you."

Kurt nodded slowly, sniffing before finally whispering, "I missed you, Daddy."

"Come here," Burt said softly, pulling him in for a hug and squeezing him tightly, his heart still breaking over how broken he sounded. He was pretty sure the last time they hugged was when Kurt had just come out, and it occurred to him he really should start hugging his son more, what with his obvious need and want for physical affection. And who knew how long his and Puckerman's would stay platonic? "I love you," Burt reassured him, feeling a bit of emotion catching in his throat.

"I love you, too."

—

When Puck opened the door at his house, he didn't expect to see Kurt there. "Kurt," he said with a smile, happy to see him back in his old clothes. His smile dropped a bit, though, as he remembered why they hadn't been talking for a while.

"Noah," Kurt said, his eyes still a bit red from his talk with his dad. "Can I come in real quick?" Puck immediately nodded and stepped to the side. He closed the door and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he turned to Kurt.

"Look, Kurt—"

"Noah, we both said things that were wrong and we both did things wrong. And while I'm hurt and I hurt you, we're good enough friends that we don't really need to sit and have a heart-to-heart, right? I had a really emotional one with Dad earlier, I don't know if I can handle another one. I know I need to work on the whole being an only child that now has to share his dad's attention 24/7 because I've never had to share him, even with you. And you know that you need to stop saying things when you're angry before you can stop yourself. So we can just forget this fight and move on, right?" Kurt rushed out.

Puck watched him and slowly smiled, "What fight?" Kurt gave the smallest of laughs, pulling Puck into a hug. One day he knew they needed to sit down and work through everything, but right now he was very content to hug his best friend and feel slightly normal again.

"Oh, and never try dating 'Cedes ever again, that's just awkward," Kurt laughed.

Puck groaned and pulled away, "Kurt, she wouldn't even listen to my  _Super Mario_  theories. What's up with that?"

Kurt smiled and shook his head, "Want to tell me about the Star Worlds theory again?"

Noah broke into a huge grin, "And this is why I love you."

—

"I'm so glad you called," Puck gasped out as he pulled away from a kiss with Santana. "It's so cool that your parents are gone."

Santana smirked, "I'm just glad you've realized that you. Are.  _Mine_ ," she said, leaning back over him and biting at his neck, Puck gasping and thrusting up. She gave a small, breathless chuckle and pulled back away. "You like that, don't you? Knowing that I  _own_  you?"

"Y-yeah, yeah," Puck said, not really paying attention to her words, just thrusting up, wanting some sort of contact to his hard cock.

"I want to try something," she said suddenly, getting off him and standing in front of the bed. "Strip."

Puck nodded quickly and got up, stripping out of jeans and boxers immediately. Normally he wouldn't be so desperate, but he couldn't help it; he hadn't gotten any for weeks now and was near the dying point for sex sharks.

"Sit," she ordered, smirking as he sat down immediately, licking his lips in anticipation. "I know you love watching me and Brittany and thinking about the stuff we do. Do you want to try something that Brittany and I do? Think you can handle it?" she asked in a husky whisper, her eyes daring him. Puck nodded enthusiastically; he was up for fingering and giving her some head, definitely.

She gave him a wink and got down on her knees in front of the bed, pulling out a box from underneath it. She placed a bottle of lube from it on the bed, but Puck's eyes widened and he let out an explicative of surprise and slight fear when she pulled out the other object from the box. "Is that…is that a strap on?" He asked apprehensively, suddenly feeling himself soften a bit.

"Duh," Santana rolled her eyes. "We're doing something Brittany and I do together, I thought the idea of us together made you all hot, remember?"

"Yeah, but why am I fucking you with a strap on when I have one built in?" Puck asked, afraid to hear the answer he already knew.

"You're not pegging me, I'm pegging you, you idiot," she scoffed.

Puck's heart sped up, now fully soft and not feeling at all like a bad ass. "No way."

She glared and stood up, "You are  _mine_ , Puck, and I want to remind you of that. And I  _know_  you want this. You certainly liked my fingers up there when I was blowing you last time." Puck had to admit to himself that when she found that prostate thing in him that it felt pretty damn good. "Now either you man up and take this little thing or you go and leave. Which will it be?" Santana pulled at her Cheerios top and pulled out her ponytail, her hair falling in waves onto her breasts.

Staring at her, Puck already knew his choice. He was scared and was sure he'd hate it, but he needed to get off with someone  _so bad_ , and seeing Santana's smokin' body definitely was getting him interested again, especially when she pulled off her skirt and underwear, her pussy lips already wet as she stared him down. "I'll even let you eat me out after, I know how much you love that," she practically purred, crawling onto the bed.

As she crawled on top of him, looking like a predator about to kill her prey, she whispered, "So what's it going to be?" They both knew the answer, her question was absolutely pointless, but he answered anyways.

"Yes."

She smirked again, "Good boy." Getting back off him again, she commanded, "On all fours,  _now_." He followed the rules, barely holding back a sigh. This had better get him off.

Santana continued to smirk to herself as she popped open the lube. Puck was always so willing to do whatever she wanted. Who needed Brittany? She  _owned_  this hot guy in front of her, and nothing got her off like that, knowing that she could get Puck to do whatever she wanted. Pouring the lube onto her fingers, she ordered him to place his legs farther apart and touched his hole, circling for a while until he relaxed enough for her to push a finger in.

Puck hadn't even realized throughout the past few blowjobs she had given him that she had been slowly working on getting him to take more and more, but now it was suddenly clear to him as her finger slid in with little resistance. Damn it, that woman was one sneaky bitch. Damn her and her cunning and hot body and really fucking talented finger, goddamn that felt good. Trust Santana to know how to finger someone to oblivion. He slowly felt himself grow harder as she added a second finger, slowly scissoring him open.

Now she really found none of this that interesting, it didn't really turn her on—the part she was going to enjoy was still to come, after all—but she continued slowly fingering him, curling her fingers enough to get as close to his prostate as possible without actually touching it, something she had perfected with Brittany's G-Spot. And, much like she did to Brittany (and Brittany did to her, too, because Santana liked being dominated every once in a while, it wasn't a big deal, just something that no one besides Brittany needed to know), she ignored Puck's whines and groans for more, going at her own slow pace. Plus if she went too fast he'd be sitting funny the next day and she didn't want to hear his bitching.

Puck never felt like such a mess. He was moaning and writhing, trying to rub his hard on against the bed a few times but corrected by a slap to the back of his thigh by Santana not to do so. And when she finally touched his prostate, he saw stars for a moment. " _Fuck_ ," he groaned, pushing back against her hand. But soon he was whimpering again as she pulled her hand out, a wet noise accompanying the movement. "Fuck, Santana, don't—"

"Don't worry, you'll be fucked soon enough," she said in the low whisper, a chill running through his body as she put on the strap on, lubing it up. She leaned over his body, the tip of the strap on rubbing against his hole, teasing him. Slowly, she pushed in, thrusting a bit out and than thrusting a little bit farther in until she was fully sheathed. She stayed still for a while, letting him get used to the intrusion.

He had no idea that anal sex could feel like this. It hurt and felt really odd, but it also felt oddly pleasurable to be full and to be dominated. He couldn't even imagine what it would be like to have a real cock inside him, to feel a guy pulsing inside him, to actually let someone into him, how intimate that would have to be. Woah, was this what girls felt like when they had sex? Is this what Kurt would feel one day? If so, Kurt was a pretty lucky guy. "Please," he whispered.

"Please what?" Santana asked cruelly, circling her hips.

"Fuck, Santana, please fuck me  _fuck_ — _ah_!" Puck was cut off as she started fucking him with the fake cock. It was like he had no control over his voice, his throat just forming moans and groans as she thrust in and out of him. God, he would need to reassure Kurt that sex would actually feel fucking amazing for him because  _damn_  this was good. Kurt and his tight ass would totally love this. Damn it, why was he thinking about Kurt's tight ass during sex? He shook his head to try to clear it, focusing on the immense pleasure and slight burn he felt from Santana's thrusting.

Now Santana was a pretty observant person when it piqued her interest enough. And while most of the Glee Club was too obsessed with their own personal shit to notice, she had sex with the guy enough to realize he stared at Kurt's ass almost as much as she stared at hers. And while she gave it no thought past him being attracted to Lady Face, she was going to use it to her advantage, get him to come as soon as possible so she could get off from his tongue. Plus it was like the song said, a little mind fuck could be nice, and Santana liked fucking in any form possible.

So she leant over him, lowering her voice to try to sound like Kurt during the recent trying to be straight drama, "You like that…Noah?"

Puck froze at her words, Santana still thrusting. Santana never called him  _Noah_. No one at that whole damn school called him Noah…well, except for Kurt, obviously. "Y-yeah…I do," he gasped out anyways, moving his hips again.

She reached underneath him, finding his nipple ring and twisting it, relishing in the groans he made. "I knew you'd love it, Noah. You'd never let any other guy fuck you, would you, Noah? You wouldn't let any other guy fill you up like this, huh?"

His brain didn't stopped questioning her words after that, automatically picturing exactly what she was implying: Kurt leaning over him and fucking him senseless, his full lips whispering dirty words into his ear. He really couldn't imagine any other guy dominating him like this, biting along his neck like she was doing now and moving their hips like Kurt was so good at, his voice growling like it had during that song—"Fuck, Kurt, I—" he came with a low groan and a shudder, images of Kurt's victorious smirk filling his inner eye as he fought to get his breath back.

Santana let out a low chuckle, pulling out of him and grinning more as he whined, his arms collapsing, his ass sticking out in the air. Smacking it, she said in her normal voice, "Get your head between my legs  _now_."

Puck lifted his head, his eyes blinking sluggishly with confusion. Santana smirked at him and sat back, opening her legs. Oh yeah, that was part of the deal.

He looked at her pussy with a wolfish grin; Santana was fucking  _dripping_. Licking his lips, he crawled over to her legs and lowered his head. He licked a fat stripe up her, her hands automatically clawing at his shaved head desperately. Yeah, it was good having game.


	15. Caught in a Bad Romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn is forced to move in with Kurt and he's totally not cool with it or how Kurt looks at him. Puck being around doesn't help things, either.

"Step…one more," Carole instructed to Finn, his eyes closed as she led him to the surprise.

"Is there a car down here for me?"

"Honey, we're indoors."

"Oh."

"And…open your eyes!"

Finn opened his eyes with excitement that fell almost instantly at the sight around him. A  _Welcome Home_  banner was displayed on the wall in front of him in a really clean, organized room that, if not for the small bed, would be unrecognizable as a bedroom. Burt held his hands together with a huge smile on his face and Kurt held out a glass, offering, "Sparkling cider?"

Finn walked over to Kurt despite the creepy look he was giving him (the look he  _always_  gave him) and took the glass. "Welcome home? But who went somewhere?"

Carole hugged Burt and explained, "Burt asked us to move in with him!"

"And this is how you're telling me?" Finn asked, genuinely upset. He hated surprises like this, like when his mom just randomly told him he was dating Burt in the first place. He just wanted to go home after glee club and play some video games since killing zombies was about the only thing that didn't screw with his head everyday (unlike his relationship with Rachel, his mom's relationship with Burt, or the relationship Kurt wanted with him). Why were they doing this to him?

"The party was my idea. If you're going to say something, say it loud, right?" Kurt said, all of it suddenly making sense to Finn. Of course it was  _Kurt's_  doing. Kurt was the one who got them together in the first place. Kurt was the one turning his life upside-down, all while looking at him with those big eyes like he was about ready to declare his love for him.

It all made him super uncomfortable.

"It's going to take some getting used to, but you're going to  _love it_. Now you won't have to drag your tail over here to watch a game on the 55 incher," Burt laughed. And Finn had to admit that was nice, but his eyes went back to Kurt, who looked broken again for just a split second but then back to normal.

Then Burt tried offering him a food in some weird language from some foreign country, his mom trying to get him to take it, too. Only Kurt seemed to know what it was and that just pissed him off more. Why did everything they plan somehow get back to Kurt? People like Burt didn't know about foreign foods past spaghetti or held parties with appetizers like  _that_. Why did Kurt take everything normal and just make it…not normal?

Carole gave him that hopeful smile and added, "Finn, this house is  _twice_  the size of ours; it has  _two_  bathrooms!"

"Two and a half," Burt corrected, much to Carole's amazement and delight.

"I don't want an extra bathroom or whatever, I want my house back."

"I think I know what this resistance is about," Kurt said. Kurt  _did_  know what it was about; maybe he would speak up and tell them about how he was around Finn. "It's our room." Finn couldn't hear anything he said after the words  _our room_. They were  _sharing_? Did they not realize how wrong that was? Did they not see how Kurt looked at him?

"Wait, we're sharing a room? I'm  _not_  cool with that!" All of this was going so fast, another room being added as a promise to him, money being thrown at him and then taken by Kurt, jokes about playing games, and then he was thrown off by another voice speaking behind him.

"I guess I'm late for the party?" Kurt looked over at the stairs, surprise on his face.

"Noah, what are you doing here?"

Finn's jaw tensed even more as he turned around to find Puck standing there, "I am  _not_  sharing a room with  _him_."

"Dude, I'm not moving in," Puck said, holding his hands up in surrender as Kurt walked over to him. "I'm just here because Kurt was going to help me with my English project and I was going to help him do some math. I guess I got here early."

"I told you six thirty," Kurt said in a hushed whisper, "I told you he'd be here now."

"Yeah, but I forgot. Quinn kicked me out of the house because she's in one of her moods," Puck whispered back, all of it still audible to the rest of the room.

Burt spoke up again as Finn tensed up, "Finn, I know you and Noah have a bad past but Noah's sorry for what he did and that's all he anyone can do about the past. Now I know you have a lot to get used to with this new living arrangement, but Noah is Kurt's best friend and he's over here a lot, at least once a week, and he's like a son to me. So could you please try to forgive him?"

Finn frowned and looked over at Puck and Kurt. Puck looked down sheepishly while Kurt held his hand and stared up at him. It was kind of nice to have someone there who Kurt looked at like how he looked at him, it took the pressure off and didn't make him feel so uncomfortable. Maybe Kurt just looked at everyone like that and he didn't notice? Either way, having some attention from Kurt off of him was nice. He nodded, "Yeah, sure. I can try."

—

Kurt gave Puck one of his looks after he suggested Tina try the Catholic schoolgirl look, "Not helpful." He wasn't on Puck's lap that day but he was sitting next to him, his knee pressed against Puck's, his head up, even though earlier it was resting on his shoulder.

Puck gave him a look back, "At least I suggested something involving clothes." As Kurt intensified his "look", Puck poked at his side, causing Kurt to let out a squeal of laughter. He covered his mouth with a horrified expression, thankful that Rachel had just stormed in and distracted anyone from reacting to that.

"I've been doing some background on Vocal Adrenaline—"

"Isn't that against the rules?" Artie asked.

"No! I mean, I don't know, probably. Anyways, we have a  _big_  problem." She hurriedly said, "I checked their dumpsters and they were full of eighteen empty boxes of Christmas lights."

Tina's eyes widened in recognition first, "Oh no."

"So then I went to the fabric store and I asked them about red Chantilly lace and they were all sold out!"

Mercedes got it next, "Oh sweet Jesus."

"Oh my," Kurt followed right after, his face pale.

"I-I don't get it, what?" Mr. Schue asked, Puck looking at Kurt in confusion.

"They're doing Gaga," Kurt said simply.

Mercedes shook her head as the rest of the girls sighed in defeat, "That's it, we're over."

"Exactly!" Rachel exclaimed.

"We should've guessed it, they're going for full out theatricality; they know it's the easiest way to beat us. Damn them!" Kurt said, tensing a fist.

Puck rubbed a hand on Kurt's shoulder, trying to comfort him, "What's special about that Gaga dude? He just dresses weird like Bowie, right?"

"Lady Gaga is a  _woman_!" Kurt yelled at him, Puck immediately retracting his hand. "And the biggest pop act to come along in  _decades_. She's the most boundary pushing, theatrical performer of our generation." Puck gave him a blank look so he added, "And she changes her look more than Britt change's sexual partners."

"It's true," Brittany nodded.

"It makes sense that Vocal Adrenaline would pay homage to her, she's a perfect fit for them," Artie added, Rachel nodding furiously.

Mr. Schue looked at them with his  _I have an idea face_. "No, guys, I think we can kill two birds with one stone. We can help Tina find a new look  _and_  find a competitive number for Regionals." Kurt perked up, unable to believe where Mr. Schue was going with his thoughts. "This week, your assignment is…Gaga."

Kurt and the girls all cheered as the boys all sighed and rolled their eyes and groaned. Even Artie had trouble looking happy for his girlfriend and Puck wasn't hiding his dislike from his best friend. He was not looking forward to this week one bit.

—

Puck and Finn sat awkwardly in Kurt's room—Kurt and Finn's room—as Kurt was upstairs getting some drinks. Finn kept clenching and unclenching his fists as he sat on his bed. He never got to be alone anymore, he was always with Kurt or, even worse, Kurt  _and_  Puck. But now it was just the two of them and it wasn't just awkward, it was literally  _painful_.

"So…I'm glad you got Mr. Schue to let us do KISS. Pretty kick ass," Puck said awkwardly. Finn nodded and the room was filled with silence yet again. "I mean, Kurt's my best friend, but I didn't really want to wear anything Gaga wears. She kind of freaks me out." Finn nodded again but didn't say anything else. Couldn't he just be left to wallow in misery alone?

"Sorry I took so long!" Kurt called from the stairs. "I thought I'd add some  _hors d'oeuvres_." He set down a tray on the table and Finn looked up, expecting some normal food on there, but was disappointed.

Puck, however, said, "Dude, are those the mini-quiche?"

"Of course."

"Score!" He jumped up and grabbed one of the plates Kurt brought down and shoved some quiche onto his plate.

"Don't you want some, Finn?"

"Dude, seriously, this stuff is cheese and bacon!" Puck exclaimed, shoving two into his mouth.

Finn shook his head, "No, I'm not hungry."

Kurt frowned, "Okay. Here's your drink then." He handed Finn a fancy little mug with pink flowers drawn on it and a little saucer underneath it. "I know yours is just Coke, but it's kind of a tradition to use these with the  _hors d'oeuvres_  tray. Old summer tea parties and such from our childhood."

"Thanks," Finn muttered, glad that no one besides Puck was there to see him drink from it. Though Puck was sitting at the table, holding the saucer up properly and holding the cup daintily with his pinky out, much like Kurt returned to his seat to do.

Puck swirled his drink in his mouth before swallowing and asking, "Raspberry tea this time?"

"We were all out of the usual peach," Kurt shrugged, sipping at his cup, his legs crossed.

Finn gaped, "You're drinking tea?  _You_?"

Puck looked at him like he was crazy, "What did you think 'the usual' meant? It's what we normally have around this time. Sometimes I don't want Coke, y'know?"

"It's something we've done since I've been old enough to use the stove to boil water," Kurt added. "You should try it sometime, it's very delicious, especially with milk or honey."

"Dude, pinky out," Puck reprimanded Finn, shaking his head with furrowed brows.

"I've trained you well," Kurt smiled.

"You've only been telling me since we were seven and used water in your plastic tea cups."

Finn watched them, his heart rate speeding into a panic. How did someone like  _Puck_  talk like that or hold a cup like that? Kurt really  _had_ trained him, just like he seemed to do that to Burt and was starting to do that to his mom. And that was something Finn did not want to have happen to him.

—

"But it's a total rockstar name!"

"You want to name our daughter Jack Daniels? She's a  _girl_ ," Quinn said with a slam of her locker.

"Alright then,  _Jackie_  Daniels," Puck said simply.

"The name is not the point!" Quinn interrupted. "I told you this: I'm giving up the baby so I don't have to do this with you. This is good for you. Now you can go off and be a rockstar yourself."

Puck watched her go, doing his best to keep the cool, Puck the Bad Ass look on his face as thoughts of his dad filled his head. He finally stalked off to class, not noticing Tina and Kurt enter from the other side of the hall in full Gaga gear.

"I love this new look," Tina gushed. "Because even though I'm painfully shy and obsessed with death, I'm a very effervescent person!" Her smile dropped as Karofsky and Azimio shoved her and Kurt into the lockers. Normally she'd just ignore it and go about her day, but Kurt Hummel was not one to be messed with, at least not that day.

"Excuse me, what the hell is your problem?" Kurt yelled. The bullies turned around and Kurt continued, "Pick on me all you want, but don't hit a girl."

"We haven't been able to tell the difference," Azimio said. Kurt tensed up for a moment, one of his weak areas being taunted after all the drama with Finn and his father.

"You all dress all freaky and we have to stare at it all day. It makes my eyes tired," Karofsky complained.

"We have every right to express ourselves just like you guys can express yourselves by wearing your letterman jackets."

"Well, next time you feel like expressing yourself, don't be surprised if my FIST," he yelled the word, hitting the locker next to him. The resounding clang made Kurt and Tina jump as he continued, "All over your chin."

"Let's go," Karofsky said, a look in his eyes that Kurt couldn't recognize that actually terrified him.

But Kurt wasn't ready to back down. "Yeah, you don't wanna be late for your appointment at Super Cuts!"

"You watch your mouth, Hummel!"

"Oh, and Fancy, you don't need an appointment at Super Cuts; they  _love_  walk-ins," Karofsky mocked, obviously thinking his comeback was a stinger. Azimio laughed with him and they chest fived, which Kurt always found a lot more homoerotic than glee club ever was, but that obviously meant nothing to those Neanderthals.

Normally, Kurt would stalk off and talk to Noah to blow off some steam. But after finding out about all the crap Noah got just because they were friends, Kurt couldn't bring himself to do anything to him. So he walked off with Tina and made a point to sit next to Mercedes and away from Noah to avoid talking to him.

Now, the main issue with that was that they  _always_  sat together. The few times they hadn't were when they were fighting or when they were on the brink of fighting. Mercedes looked over at Artie, Tina, and Quinn when Kurt sat down at the end of the row next to her, but, while they looked apprehensive, they shrugged, completely helpless as what to say or do. Puck looked over at Kurt, hurt and confused, but Kurt mouthed from behind Mercedes  _she wants to talk_. Puck nodded and smiled, turning back to the front of the room with a lot less concern on his mind.

Well, okay, the whole name thing was on his mind, and the fact that Quinn didn't take him seriously and wanted nothing to do with him. That was always on his mind. It didn't help that she looked ridiculously hot in her Gaga outfit. But at least Kurt chose some ridiculous get up with a Mozart wig that he would never find attractive. Thank God, because he really didn't need to deal with sexual frustration with Kurt on top of everything else.

He hadn't even realized that he yelled Kurt's name during the whole pegging with Santana thing until Santana told him after he made her come from his tongue. It was kind of a major buzz kill being told during post-coital that he had yelled out his best friend's name while being fucked by his ex girlfriend in a hookup, but she didn't seem offended at least. More amused…or maybe the word was bemused. Whatever. Either way, she didn't really care, but it sent Noah's mind spinning. But then he figured it was just because if he was going to take it up the ass from  _anyone_ , it was going to be Kurt. Guys were major douches a lot of times, he was a prime example of that, but Kurt wasn't. If he was going to be used in such a sensitive area by anyone, he wanted the guy to do it to be special and gentle and loving, like Kurt.

…Okay, he sounded like a complete girl, but whatever. While it made sense to him why he thought about Kurt, he was still weirded out that it happened at all. So the less amount of sexual appeal coming from Kurt, the better.

"Guys, let's head out to the auditorium so the girls and Kurt can show us what they've been working on," Mr. Schue said, clapping his hands together. The boys walked down the hall and sat in the middle so they wouldn't have to lift Artie down or up the stairs. Then, out of nowhere, Kurt started singing these gibberish words and the song started. Noah, still content with the lack of sexual appeal coming from Kurt, let his eyes focus on Quinn (and maybe wander to Santana and Brittany and Tina, too, 'cause, c'mon, look at those legs and boobs and asses). He was starting to really get into the number when Santana took over singing and Kurt laid himself out on the floor.

Oh…wow. Noah knew almost everything there was to know about Kurt, but he definitely had no idea that Kurt was that flexible. That was…fuck, some  _girls_  couldn't even do that, how did Kurt do that with a penis and everything?

Puck didn't clap very enthusiastically at the end of the number; goddamn it, that fucking sexual frustration was back.

—

"Wow, Rachel, looking good," Mercedes whistled as Rachel walked in with a new Gaga outfit, actually looking like something the singer had worn.

"Thanks! My mom made it," she said, smiling cutely.

Kurt's smile faded at that. For one, even though he and Rachel were  _not_  friends, he didn't want her getting hurt, and he doubted that this whole thing with her mom was going to work out with her. Second of all, the way she said it, like her whole life was brighter now that she had her mom in her life, that everything was easier with her there…it made Kurt jealous.

Now despite what people possibly thought about him, Kurt was not some damaged kid who was completely emotionally traumatized because of his mom's death. Yes, he had some idiosyncrasies from losing his mom at a young age, and yes, Mother's Day and her birthday and death date were hard days for him, but he wasn't some troubled teen who cried himself to sleep every night because of it. It was just every now and then he'd remember something about her and withdraw a bit, something people rarely noticed, sometimes even his dad not recognizing it. It never went into the next day, never made his dad worry, hell, it never made  _Noah_  worry, at least not enough to voice his thoughts, and that sure was saying something

So, no, Kurt wasn't a troubled momma's boy. But it still made him jealous to see someone who was in the same boat as him almost, the only other person he knew who understood what not having a mother was like smile and be happy because of a mother's touch in her life. He missed his mom whether he always showed it or not, and seeing Rachel giggling and smiling because of her newfound relationship with her mom made his jaw clench and another little green eyed monster of jealousy against Rachel pop up.

And, sure enough, a few seconds later he was shown the other main reason of jealousy he had against Rachel: Finn. Whether he liked it or not, Finn was going to chose Rachel over him, because, like she told him months earlier, she was a girl. Kurt would never be first in his heart; it took months and months, but he finally realized it.

And  _man_  did it hurt like hell to think about it.

So instead of focusing on Finn and his very seductive tongue work, Kurt let his eyes wander around the "band" members. Matt was surprisingly good at moving in the platforms, his KISS makeup making him barely recognizable. Artie kind of reminded him of that kid in _Role Models_ ; Kurt held back a laugh at that and had to look away to get control over himself as Puck and Artie took over Finn's job of singing (they sounded good on KISS,  _wow_ ). Mike danced flawlessly despite the non-dance-i-ness of the song, lanky and cute in his leather outfit.

But then his eye was drawn back to Finn and he felt his heart flop again. His tongue was way too enticing—if a bit wider than Kurt expected. Kurt shook his head to clear the images forming in his mind and moved on to watching Noah since no one else was holding his attention.

Noah's arms were always his best feature physically and he was definitely working them in his outfit, each muscle flexed under his tan skin. His round lips were showcased in the red paint that he knew Quinn drew on him earlier that day and the high kicks and thrusts he did with his guitar…Kurt let out a loud  _whoop_  of a cheer soon followed by Noah sending him a wink. Kurt could feel himself blushing a bit, a goofy smile forming on his lips as he cheered again, his eyes definitely having no problem just staying on his best friend.

When the song stopped and they had to explain their looks, Kurt didn't even look over at Finn, just watching Puck and his arms and his lips. Another giggle left his mouth as Noah said, "But that doesn't really explain my whore lips."

Mercedes and Quinn smirked at each other knowingly as Kurt started giggling like a schoolgirl at Puck's little pout. Maybe Puck wasn't the only one on his way to figuring it out.

—

Kurt easily forgot his little fangirl moment with Noah's performance, simply chalking it up to him supporting his best friend. So when Tina asked what he thought about the number, he just said, "It was good, but the lyrics left something to be desired."

"Finn just kept sticking his tongue out and I imagined him licking stuff and it was disturbing," Tina quipped. Kurt smirked a bit at that; he definitely knew the feeling too well. Good thing he managed to stop staring at him mid-performance.

Karofsky and Azimio soon cut off his thoughts as they swooped in on him and Tina. He felt as if he had been hit with a bucket of ice, his whole body frozen with nothing to do but be pushed into the wall behind him.

Thankfully nothing really happened. One of his shoes lost a few of their sparkles and a bubble fell of Tina's dress, but the two bullies were called over Tina waving and saying "Principal Figgins" as if he was right behind them. They didn't even check to see if he was there before running off, leaving Kurt's heart racing.

When he finally managed to unfreeze himself, Kurt quietly said, "I'm sorry I didn't think of anything. Thanks, Tina." He had never been so angry and disappointed in himself before, letting his own friend get in a risky situation without stopping it.

"No problem," Tina said, "They were hurting me too, you know. It wasn't just your outfit I was saving." She smiled, hoping to get the same response from him. But Kurt just nodded and walked away, shoulders just the slightest bit slumped over.

—

Kurt's anger at himself and his situation was starting to make him angry at everyone else. It was something he always did unconsciously; he yelled at Puck so many times right after his mom died because he was just so angry and had no idea how to deal with it. Puck almost called off their whole friendship until Mae intervened, as Noah told him a few years down the road, and told Noah that his best friend wasn't really angry at him, just at everything else. That was when Puck taught Kurt the trick the guidance counselor at school made him do when he was upset: scream into and hit a pillow. Less than a year later, when Puck's dad left, Puck did the same thing back to Kurt. Thankfully, Kurt was able to withstand the anger and taught Puck the cool trick he had started learning from his mom's old work out tapes: meditation. Every now and then that bit of flame poked out and would potentially sting the other, but both boys were too firey themselves to let it knock them down for good.

The problem was that Finn wasn't aware of it. He didn't know—how could he really know, after all—that underneath the icy exterior Kurt had at school there was a whole lot of fire and venom.

The night started out normal. Kurt had some anger underneath the surface, but his words weren't laced with anymore venom than his usual snarks, "Can you have a word with Azimio and Karofsky not harassing me when I'm wearing my Gaga outfit?" He was working on fixing his shoe and hoping that they didn't corner him again.

"Are you serious?" Finn asked, trying to wipe off the KISS make up unsuccessfully. "Can't you ask Puck to do that? Isn't that what he does for you anyways?"

Kurt's jaw clenched. "He goes through enough just by being my friend. I don't ask him for things like this." Didn't Finn realize how much Kurt was putting his pride on the line just by asking for help?

Finn made a face, "Do you think I'm not getting crap from them? They already think we're boyfriends."

Kurt looked at Finn through the mirror the teen was at, swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. Great, now Finn was starting to get hate for having to live with him when Finn didn't even want to. What would happen next, Carole picking up one of the anonymous hate calls? He blinked away the thoughts and said his motto, "Let them think what they want; they're Neanderthals. In three years they'll be cleaning my septic tank."

"Don't you get it?" Finn asked sharply. Kurt looked up at him, feeling cracks starting to form around the ice as the flames grew bigger, "We live in Ohio. This isn't New York or San Francisco or…some other place where people eat vegetables that aren't fried." Finn turned to face him so they wouldn't have to play the silly game of making eye contact through the mirror. "I just don't understand why you have to make such a huge spectacle of yourself," Finn continued, his hand gesturing to Kurt's Gaga outfit, "Why don't you work harder on blending in?"

Flames started to melt the small little cracks in the ice, licking up against the melting surface. "I'm sure that would be easier for you?"

"You know, it  _would_ ," Finn said almost petulantly, turning back to the mirror,  _Kurt's_ mirror to finish taking off his make up—something Kurt definitely wasn't wearing. He was by no means more of a spectacle than Finn was at that moment. Kurt felt the flames start to peek out when he saw how much Finn was struggling with his make up removing process. The poor soul had to be losing tons of needed skin cells and the boy didn't moisturize at all, it had to hurt to take it off in such a horrible manner.

"You are such a  _boy_ ," Kurt said with a loving sigh—purely platonic that time. He got out of his seat and marched over to the mirror, "You're going to need a moist towelette if you want that make up off." He pulled one out smoothly and went to the side of Finn's face to show him how it was done when his hand was knocked away.

"Get off of me!" Finn exclaimed, jumping out of the chair and looking at Kurt like he was some sort of predator.

"Jesus, Finn, what is your problem?" Kurt nearly yelled, the flames fully breaking through the ice as control of any "inappropriate" words leaving his mouth was lost. "It's just a moist towelette!"

Finn looked at Kurt in shock, definitely not expecting Kurt to actually raise his voice. Finally he looked back down at the floor in shame in shame. Kurt embraced the guilt coming off of him until he announced, "I'm going to finish changing upstairs." Without another word he started for the stairs.

Kurt felt every muscle tense, tiny little flames flickering over his skin, "Grow up, Finn!" His anger got the hold of him so much that, like Finn often did, he kicked a chair. But copying Finn's actions just made him angrier. He walked over to his bed and collapsed on it, screaming into the pillow. That incident would definitely not be solved by simple meditation.

—

"I still can't believe you're letting me skip school," Puck chuckled gleefully as he opened the trunk to Kurt's car.

"Yeah, yeah, but it's only because I want to finish the project and with you carrying down the boxes it'll go twice as fast," Kurt informed him, grabbing one of the smaller boxers as Puck grabbed two. "And, this goes without saying, but no telling Dad about this."

"Duh," Puck replied as they started heading into the house through the garage door.

Kurt playfully bumped into Puck and commented, "Nice job yesterday, by the way."

"I knew you liked my whore lips," Puck teased when suddenly they heard a throat clear.

They both turned around to find Carole Hudson at the dining room table, watching the boys with a raised eyebrow and a look of amusement. "H-hi, Mrs. Hudson," Puck started, looking down at the floor. He still felt awkward around her because of the whole Quinn thing.

"Hello, Carole, you look stunning today," Kurt said charmingly, ready to lay it on thick. "I didn't realize you'd be home."

"Apparently not," Carole said, "My shift doesn't start for a couple more hours; I'm meeting your dad for lunch first."

"That sounds great."

"But what I'm wondering is why  _you're_  here."

Kurt sighed, "I just figured I could work on the decorations for me and Finn's room so he could see it when he got back from school as a surprise. The move's been hard on him, after all."

"Does your dad know you're here?"

"No, and I'd prefer to keep it that way," Kurt replied.

Carole studied the two for a while longer before cracking into a smile, "I never saw anything."

Puck smiled and looked over at Kurt, his own smile growing as Kurt burst into a wide one. Kurt put down his box and went over to Carole, kissing her on the cheek, "Thank you so much."

"Mmm, yes, I know, now get to work," she said in a playfully commanding voice as she picked up her coffee mug and moved to the living room, right by where the basement door was. She busied herself with her crossword for a while, looking up every now and then to watch Puck and Kurt bring in boxes, playfully bumping into each other, until the rest of the work was reserved for the basement.

After an hour or so, Carole got up and made some tea, knowing it was something Kurt loved to drink, and made some grilled cheese sandwiches. When she was done, she went to the basement door and yelled down, "Kurt! Noah! I made you guys lunch."

There was a moment of silence from the basement but soon the boys ran up the stairs, each trying to get ahead of the other. They were neck-in-neck, Puck having the strength to push Kurt off to the side but Kurt having the smaller frame to run underneath his arm. Carole backed away, laughing as Kurt jumped on Puck's back, both boys laughing and giggling.

Puck managed to twist around enough to get Kurt off his back. He used the moment to get to the counter before Kurt, but Kurt ran up behind him and managed to grab him around the hips, lifting him up just a bit (he had muscles after all) and turning them so he was by the counter instead.

"Oh, that's how we're going to play?" Puck challenged playfully after Kurt put him down. He turned and grabbed Kurt by the waist, lifting him up higher than Kurt got Puck, Kurt kicking his legs as Puck brought him to the table, sitting him down. Both boys were still laughing as Carole brought over the sandwiches, shaking her head with an amused smile.

"Oh, Carole, thank you," Kurt said gratefully, Puck echoing his statement. "You know how boys are; Noah would've been begging for food any minute."

"Hey!" Noah turned to Carole and told her, "He forgets that since he finally hit puberty, he's in the same boat as me."

"Shut up!" Kurt shot back, gently kicking Noah's leg. Carole just laughed and asked if they'd like some tea, both of them responding positively automatically.

She brought over the teapot and mugs, "I hope chai's okay."

Kurt perked up, "I  _love_  Chai. And this way we'll have some caffeine, too!"

"Chai's one of my favorites," Carole admitted, pouring out a cup for each of them. "It's okay I used this pot and china, right?"

"Of course," Kurt said with a wave of his hand. "It's your house, too."

Carole was happy that Kurt accepted her as a part of the family. She sat down and stirred her tea, waiting for it to cool. "So, how's the room going?"

"It's fabulous! I'm so excited for Finn to see it. It's very  _Arabian Nights_ -esque."

"Yeah, just like living in a harem," Puck commented, raising an eyebrow at Kurt over his cup. Kurt gave him one of his Looks before cracking a smile.

"Well, Finn's favorite Disney movie was definitely  _Aladdin_ , so he'll probably like it," Carole said.

Kurt's face split into a bigger, dreamier smile. "That's one of my favorites, too. Fantastic music and a great story."

"Yeah, the whole bad boy and spunky girl meeting and becoming friends under the strangest, most unlikely circumstances and then turning into more than friends? Totally not an overused storyline at all," Puck said, rolling his eyes.

"Okay, bad boy and spunky girl is an overused trope, yes, but that doesn't make it a bad storyline," Kurt countered. "It's a classic love story, like  _Beauty and the Beast, 10 Things I Hate About You…_ it's even flipped with the boy being the romantic and the girl being the 'bad' one in _Moulin Rouge_. It's a great story."

Puck laughed softly, "You know I was only kidding, Kurt;  _Aladdin_ 's one of my favorites, too."

Carole listened and watched them talk for a while longer as she drank her tea, their teasing touches and loving giggles and smiles. Eventually, however, she had to put her cup in the dishwasher and leave for the garage, promising Kurt not to tell his dad that he was there. She would be far too busy telling Burt that she now saw the relationship he had told her about weeks ago.

Once Carole was gone, Puck asked, "So what were you saying I should do about the whole Quinn thing?"

"Well, for one, stop being a colossal idiot and be the  _real_  you. Tell her how you feel and show her your serious and committed. Sing it if you have to," Kurt said, sipping on his Chai. "You want to be a rockstar, but show her that you won't be like your dad. Let her know that the baby girl would be the center of your life."

Puck mulled that over until a song popped into his head, the lightbulb turning on over his head. "Thank you, Kurt. I totally got this now."

"Glad to hear it," Kurt said, "Now go work on it."

"But the room—"

Kurt waved that off, "I've got it, I promise. Work on getting your girl. You can even tell people that you helped decorate it."

Puck laughed, "Thanks, Kurt, but I doubt I'll brag about it."

—

"The place looks  _great_ ," Burt said, still sounding angry as he watched Finn go up the stairs. Kurt still stared at the wall in front of him.

Did that really happen? There was no way Finn said that. Finn snored, Finn yelled, Finn kicked chairs, but never did Kurt ever hear Finn say anything homophobic. That was part of why he was attracted to him.

Burt grasped Kurt's shoulder almost painfully tight. He wasn't as good with the physical comfort as Noah was—no one was as good at physical comfort as those two—but he did what he could. He let Kurt lightly press his fingers against his own in recognition of the contact before going back upstairs to deal with the mess that was just made.

Kurt slowly sank back down to the couch, tears slowly working his way down his face. He really thought the room would fix everything, would make Finn more comfortable, would make them a family, would help him get over Finn. But it didn't. This wasn't an uplifting sitcom; his life would never be one.

He started hearing voices upstairs, Carole yelling at Finn, Finn apologizing, the shuffling of feet. Any minute now they'd be down there looking for Finn's stuff so he could leave, so Carole could leave. All because of him and his creepiness that caused a sweet boy like Finn to crack into a homophobic jerk.

He had to get out.

—

"So, the room is really cool and I  _definitely_  helped a lot," Puck bragged to Sara and Quinn as they finished cleaning up from dinner earlier. He didn't really understand why, but Quinn always smiled when he talked about Kurt and Sara loved hearing about her Brother From Another Mother, so he often told stories about what they did together.

"It definitely sounds good; let's hope Finn likes it."

Sara scoffed, "If he doesn't, he's an idiot. Kurt makes the best designs  _ever_."

"That he does," Puck agreed, "Now you need to get ready for bed." Sara grumbled but let the two teenagers walk her to the stairs. They were only up a few steps when the doorbell rang.

"Who could that be?" Quinn asked out loud, her hand running over her rounded stomach.

Puck shrugged, "I'll answer it; you get the munchkin sorted out."

"I'm not a munchkin," Sara grumbled as her and Quinn headed up the stairs, Puck going to the door.

"I'd definitely say you're more of a Dorothy," Quinn agreed.

Puck opened the door, ready to tell whoever it was that it was a little late to be bugging them, but the words stopped in his throat when he saw Kurt huddled on the front step, backpack on his bag. His eyes were rimmed red and his mouth was tight. Uh oh. He'd been crying. Puck's mind jumped back to the last time Kurt came to his doorstep upset and he started wondering if he had done something to cause it. "Kurt? What's wrong?" He asked, opening the door further and stepping aside so Kurt could come in.

Kurt walked in and dropped his backpack on the ground and quickly took off his coat and shoes and gloves. When he was just in his pants and dress shirt and vest, he threw himself at Puck, wrapping his arms around him in hopes of getting some physical comfort. Puck immediately wrapped his arms around him, cooing softly into his ear as he felt silent tears falling on his shoulder.

"Hey, hey, hey," he said softly after Kurt calmed down a bit, "Let's go sit over at the couch and you can tell me what happened, okay?"

Kurt nodded and a few minutes later Kurt had told Puck the whole story from Finn yelling at him the other night until Burt making Finn leave. "And I couldn't stand being in there anymore, I had to go. I feel horrible leaving Dad alone, but if I stayed there and had to see them leave, I just wouldn't…" Kurt shook his head, swallowing the lump in his throat, "So now I'm here."

Puck was tense. The only thing that stopped him from springing up and hunting down Finn was Kurt's legs on his lap and his upper body leaning against his. "That  _asshole_!"

"No," Kurt said, shaking his head, "No, it was my fault. I pushed him and pushed him too far, I was creepy, like you said, and I—"

"Kurt, stop that!" Puck said loudly, immediately running a hand over Kurt's arm in an apology as Kurt flinched. "He has absolutely  _no_ excuse. No matter how much someone's pushed, that is totally not cool to say. Even I don't excuse what I said on the phone no matter how much I want to. It's totally not cool."

Kurt was about to rebut that statement when Sara called out, "Kurt!" Puck groaned and Kurt wiped his face as Sara bounded down the steps, Quinn trying to run after her despite her pregnant belly.

"Kurt!" she cried again, hugging him as she stood next to him. When she stepped away, she wiped her face, slightly wet from the tears still left on his. "You're crying."

"Sara…" Puck started softly. He looked at Quinn who shrugged helplessly.

"It's nothing, Sara," Kurt sniffed. "Just a guy I liked called me a bad name."

Quinn raised an eyebrow at that but Sara just frowned and hugged him again, "I'm sorry, Kurt. Any guy who doesn't like you is stupid."

"Tell me about it," Puck agreed, smiling at Kurt. Quinn grinned like she always did when Puck talked about Kurt; she was starting to really want them together instead of just being annoyed by them.

Kurt laughed wetly, "Thanks, Sara. I'll keep that in mind."

"Now someone needs to go let Quinn put her to bed," Puck said, looking pointedly at his sister, "Or else Ma will be  _very_  cranky when she gets home."

"Yeah, but she'll be cranky with you, not me," Sara pointed out. Kurt laughed again at that but kissed her forehead goodnight. "Love you, big brother," Sara said softly, petting his hair and kissing his cheek.

"Love you, too, little sis," Kurt replied. "Goodnight, Quinn."

"'Night, Kurt…Puck," she said, taking Sara back up the stairs as the two started talking softly again. Quinn watched them for a few seconds at the top of the stairs. It was sweet to watch Puck murmur to Kurt comfortingly and to see Kurt actually accept comfort and let his guards down. She was watching something few people were privy to, because no matter how touchy-feely they were at school, they were a whole different thing in private.

"I don't know why No and Kurt aren't together yet," Sara muttered.

"Tell me about it," Quinn agreed.

—

"I'd like to be with you in the delivery room, if you'll let me. And I'd like to call her Beth," Puck said, looking at Quinn directly in her eyes.

Quinn smiled, her eyes still wet with tears. "Yes."

Kurt smiled at the interaction, feeling hope for his best friend's dream relationship just yet. Puck had indeed picked the perfect song and Kurt was proud of his best friend for finally really letting Quinn see his heart. He was starting to relax again when Finn turned back to him.

"Please, Kurt, I just want to talk about this," he said.

"I already told you my answer," Kurt said tensely, not even turning away from Puck. The lines Finn sang in "Beth" didn't change his mind, and nothing Finn could say would, either. He was standing his ground just like Puck told him to do the night before. Hummels didn't back down, after all.

"Kurt,  _please_ ," Finn begged, "I thought you wanted us to be a family."

Kurt turned towards Finn, "But  _you_ obviously don't want us to be one and haven't wanted that from the start. Please, just leave me alone."

"Kurt—"

"Hudson, leave him alone," Puck interrupted, stepping between the two of them to look at Finn. "You don't deserve to talk to him," he hissed.

Finn glared at Puck. He stood up and pushed him, saying, "This isn't any of your business."

"Oh you  _bet_  it's my business," Puck said, pushing him back. "It's my business when you call my best friend that word."

"You mean like what you called him last semester?" Finn countered, pushing Puck again. "Yeah, everyone knows you did it so don't even try to deny it," Finn said in response to Puck's shocked look.

"Yeah, well at least I've said I was sorry."

"He hasn't given me the chance—"

"You don't  _deserve_  the chance.  _I_ didn't deserve the chance!" Puck yelled. "Do you realize how great of a guy Kurt is?" Kurt stayed frozen, his eyes soft as he listened to Puck, practically seeing the flames on his skin. "He's the best damn thing that's happened to me and I'll never be worthy of everything he's given me, including every second chance I've ever been given. He's the best friend anyone could ever have, loyal to a fault. Yeah, he can be a bitch and a diva and he's kind of prissy and he talks and walks in his sleep sometimes which is super creepy, but he's better than every other person in this town. He'll make it out of here and have a better career than any of us could dream of and he'll deserve it. So don't you fucking  _dare_  talk to my best friend like that you homophobic, stupid  _asshole_."

"What the hell, Puck?" Finn yelled, losing his temper even more. Kurt looked over at Mr. Schue, expecting him to stop the fight, but he, much like the rest of the glee club, seemed utterly stunned by what was happening. "He has a crush on me, I can't help but be creeped out a bit!"

"You never told him no, did you?" Puck asked, getting right in Finn's face. "No, because you're a fucking attention whore with a hero complex. You want everyone to like you so you're nice to  _everyone_  but if it's a gay guy with real feelings, it's okay to string them along, huh?"

"Noah…" Kurt started warningly. Noah finally looked at him and Kurt said, "Breathe."

Noah looked him square in the eyes and said, "I'm not doing any meditating or punching a pillow, Kurt; the only thing that will help is punching  _him_."

"Dude!" Finn exclaimed, his face lined with worry.

Puck turned back to him, furious as he added, "And don't even try the whole 'people called me gay' thing. I've had people accuse me every day and it's still nothing compared to what Kurt gets on a daily basis just because he likes cock. So just shut the fuck up or I'll do it for you."

The room was so silent a pin drop could be heard. No one knew what to say, even Kurt couldn't get himself up to calm down Noah. Finally Finn turned to Kurt, "Kurt—"

"I warned you," Puck declared, punching Finn in the face.

The room erupted into gasps and whispers and people whipping out their cell phones in case a true fight formed. But Kurt immediately ran up to Puck and grabbed him around the waist, pulling him away from where Finn laid on the floor, holding onto his nose as Mr. Schue checked him out. Puck wasn't having any of it, though, fighting against the hold Kurt had around his waist. "Breathe, Noah," Kurt said, "He's not worth it."

Somehow, finally, Kurt managed to get Puck to calm down as Mr. Schue managed to ensure that Finn's nose wasn't broken, just badly bruised. He stuffed several tissues into Finn's hand and walked over to Noah, frowning. "Puck, that was  _completely_  unacceptable. I'm going to have to report you to Principal Figgins—"

"Excuse me?" Kurt asked, sassy finger out as he stepped in front of Noah, his heels making him almost tower over Mr. Schue. "You could've stepped in at anytime to stop what was happening and you just  _sat_  there, just like everyone else did when Finn attacked Noah last semester, just like everyone does when anything bad happens to anyone else in this whole damn school. Well, at least everyone but Tina." He nodded over at Tina and turned back to his teacher, "And speaking of last semester, I don't recall you doing anything to punish Finn after he punched Noah's face in against this very floor. So if you don't want my dad—who considers Noah a second son—to contact those lawyers he was going to get last semester about your other unjust favoritism towards Finn and Rachel, I'd suggest you don't report Noah."

Mr. Schue gaped. The glee club watched with either shock or amusement or all of the above because, yeah, Kurt got angry, but he normally just resorted to cold looks and sarcastic remarks. The fire behind his words was a bit of a shock, to say the least, and they really had no idea what to say.

The class had no time to react, though, because Kurt grabbed Noah's hand and led him out of the classroom. "Let's…let's get you to the nurse, Finn," Mr. Schue finally sputtered, helping the teen onto his feet and walking him out of the room.

Everyone was silent for a few more moments until Quinn declared, "Well,  _that_  totally ruined the moment."

They all could agree with that.

—

Hours later, the boys were the Hummel's kitchen, Kurt preparing a dinner. "So, I'm 'the best damn thing' to happen to your life, huh?" Kurt asked, some ulterior motive easily found in his voice.

Puck was wary of where this was going. "Yeah, and I know I'm yours. Why?"

Kurt shook his head with a large smile, "Oh, nothing. I just think you should be thankful no one in Glee club recognized your Avril reference."

"Shut up," Puck snapped, blushing heavily. Kurt was the only person outside of his family who knew of his secret love (and lust) for one Avril Lavigne and her music.

"So, what you were saying is, that you're not, not, not gonna get any better," Kurt said in a straightforward tone, "That you won't, won't, won't, you won't get rid of me, never."

"Kurt—"

Kurt skipped to sing, " _And yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a lot to handle, you don't know trouble, I'm a hell of a scandal. Me, I'm a scene, I'm a drama queen—"_

Puck joined him, singing with him, " _I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen_." He laughed with Kurt, wrapping an arm around him, "So, I'm guessing it's safe to say he wasn't what you wanted, what you thought, no?"

Kurt laughed as well, "Well, you know, he wouldn't even open up the door. He never made me feel like I was special."

"He  _really_  isn't what you're looking for."

"Uh-uh, uh woah oh uh, uh oh, oh," Kurt said in rhythm, both cracking up again. He sighed, "But I guess it really is time to start moving on. Or at least attemping."

"God, Kurt, why'd he have to go and make things so complicated?" Puck asked.

Sighing, Kurt said, "I think I'm the one who made things complicated, Noah." He leaned his hands on the counter in front of him, "I was creepy."

Noah watched his friend's back for a moment as he thought of what to say. After a while, he walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his Kurt's waist and rested his head against Kurt's. "Hey," he said softly, "You made some mistakes, but he shouldn't have called you that word. He should've told you he had no interest. You were a bit creepy, yes, but it's not all your fault."

"Promise?" Kurt said quietly.

Noah smiled, "Promise."

When Burt finally came home, Kurt and Puck were having a full out jam session to Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend", air instruments and cheesy points all included, as the smell of baked chicken wafted through the air. He walked over to the speakers and turned it down, the boys finally noticing his presence.

"Dad," Kurt said in shock. He held up a hand, "Wait, me dancing to a girl's song and you walking on me? Woah, déjà vu."

Burt smiled, "Yeah, you're not going to tell me you're part of the basketball team now, right?"

"No, those days are behind me," Kurt said, getting out plates and handing them to Noah to put on the table, "Plus if Coach Sylvester heard about me doing anything else besides glee club distracting me from the championship routine, she'll castrate me."

Noah and Burt both made a face as they all started setting the table. "You ever going to tell us what your secret little mission for it is?"

Kurt shook his head, "Sworn to secret. I literally had to sign away my right to tell anyone. All I can say is that the routine is basically built around me and challenges me in every possible manner. And is a better part than I'll ever get in glee club."

Puck rolled his eyes as Kurt brought out the mashed potatoes, "At least Mr. Schue means well, I guess."

"It's not like I'm quitting, I'm just frustrated with his policies," Kurt shrugged.

Burt raised his eyebrows, "Something I should know about, boys?"

"Just his usual favoritism, that's all," Noah said. Kurt nodded, not feeling the need to add what else happened.

"And you punched Finn," Burt finished. At the boys' shocked looks he chuckled, "I went to talk to Carole before I came home today."

"Oh," Kurt said, his hands wringing together. "What did you talk about?"

Sitting down with a sigh, Burt said, "Everything." He took off his cap and ran his hand over his scalp, "It's quite a mess we're in, but we're not going to stop dating since it seems the problems aren't really about us but about you two boys needing to work things out. We just won't try living together anymore for a few more months." He looked at Noah and Kurt, "You'll work it out, right? Both of you?"

"If he apologizes," Noah muttered.

"Oh, he will," Burt said.

—

"Oh my  _god_ ," Kurt gasped. When his dad said Finn would apologize, Kurt had no idea this would happen. Kurt scrunched his eyes up and reopened as if the image of Finn in a red shower curtain would disappear. Well that didn't work. There he was, all six feet and four inches of him in red rubber and were those  _rhinestones_  around his eyes? He surely hoped his dad didn't know about  _this_  without telling him.

"I want to thank you, Kurt," Finn started. "I realize I still have a lot to learn, but the reason I'm here…in shower curtain, is because of you. And I'm not going to let  _anyone_  lay a hand on you." Kurt's lips twitched a bit into a small smile.

"Really, dude?" Karafsky scoffed, "You really think you could take both of us?"

"Yeah. But can you take all of us?" Puck asked. Finn turned around and Kurt smirked. Behind Finn stood the whole Glee club—in freaky attire, Tina finally back in her gothic outfit—all ready to defend him, to defend their right to be freaks.

"Ah, Karofsky, I took biology, I know what's goin' on," Azimio said, "We done disturbed the freak hive and not the queen freaks are going after us." Kurt frowned, Puck's muscles flexing in rage.

"Fine, we'll go," Karofsky said, "But next time,  _we'll_  bring friends, too." Puck snarled at them and glared as they left before rushing over to Kurt.

"You okay?"

"It takes a lot more than that to tear me down," Kurt said with a soft smile. Puck laughed and ruffled Kurt's wig. "Hey!" He smacked Puck's arm away and fixed the wig as they both turned to Finn.

"I'm just tired of everyone calling us freaks," Rachel interrupted.

"Well, look at us," Mercedes laughed, "we  _are_  freaks." Some people laughed with her.

"Yeah, but we're all freaks together," Finn said, "And we shouldn't have to hide it."

Puck rolled his eyes as Mr. Schue came in and congratulated Finn and led the group back to the choir room with a call of, "Next stop, Regionals!"

Finn stayed behind with Puck and Kurt. "I'm sorry," Finn said guiltily. "I never should've said that. I'm really sorry."

Kurt crossed his arms, "Thanks." Finn looked at him awkwardly until Kurt finally grinned, "I mean it."

"Cool," Finn said in immense relief. He turned to Puck.

Puck stared back, sizing him up in his mind. Finally he offered his hand. Finn immediately shook it firmly, smiling widely. Puck nodded and wrapped his arm around Kurt's shoulders, both of them walking down the hall towards the choir room, Finn soon hurrying to catch up with them.

As they walked, Finn looked over at Kurt and Puck, how they smiled at each other and bumped into each other and looked at each other. The looks Kurt gave Puck were totally the same as how Kurt looked at him. But instead of freaking out like Finn did, Puck looked at him the exact same way with the exact same intensity. At the beginning of the week he just thought that Kurt looked at everyone that way, but Kurt didn't look at anyone else that way. Kurt wasn't even looking at  _him_  like that anymore.

…Woah.


	16. Interlude Two: Funk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puck and Finn are white as hell and Kurt does the impossible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Interlude rewrite of "Funk"

Mr. Schue was smiling along with everyone else as the song ended. He stood up with the performers and said, "Um, yeah, great job, guys, but that's not really funk. Anyone have any other critiques?" His head turned to Kurt as he snorted loudly, his legs kicking as he covered his mouth, trying to be quiet.

"S-sorry," Kurt choked out, lifting his hands off his mouth. "C-can I be excused?" He looked over at Puck glaring at him, his arms crossed and started laughing some more. Without any other words, he ran from the room. As soon as the door was closed, he leaned against the wall and laughed loudly, almost afraid he was going to die from lack of oxygen.

In the choir room, everyone could hear his laughter echoing off the lockers in the hall. With a smirk showing that she was heading back to normal, Santana said, "I believe Kurt's saying that Puck and Finn are white as hell."

—

"Hey," Puck greeted Burt as he opened the door.

"You're just in time," Burt said, letting him in and taking him to the living room. "Good thing you got off work, huh?"

Puck groaned, "Yeah. God that place is absolutely  _terrible_. And Mrs. Schuester looks at Finn really creepily…" He shivered and looked at Burt warily as they sat down on the couch, "You're not going to yell at me, too, right?"

Burt laughed, "Nah, I think you've learned your lesson about slashing tires. And if I know my son, and I think I do, you've already got quite the punishment."

Puck winced, remembering the severe amounts of yelling, hitting, nagging, and, probably worst of all, the cold shoulder. "Yeah…I'm definitely never doing that again," Noah said. He looked over at the TV and smiled, "Hey, looks like they're about to start!"

Both men looked to the TV to find McKinley Cheerios in formation off in Nationals. Front and center stood Kurt, his head bowed like the rest of them, a body microphone on his cheek. As the announcers finished introducing them, the lights turned on and a single note blared from the stereo. Kurt whipped his head up and started singing, " _J'ai compris rous les mots, j'ai bien compris, merci…"_

"Is he…" Puck's jaw was dropped, "Is he singing in  _French_?"

"He is!" Burt exclaimed, grabbing onto Puck's shoulder like he did to the guys next to him months earlier at Kurt's football game. Kurt was lifted up in the air with Brittany and Santana on either side providing back up vocals, not missing a single note as he contorted his body into various shapes with kicks and poses. "Look at my boy! Look at him!"

"I'm looking! I'm looking! He's  _amazing_!" Puck exclaimed back, freaking out right along with Burt. It wasn't even about the sexual nature of Kurt's leg stretching by his head or his cartwheels or splits or even his dancing with Santana. All that mattered was that his best friend was completely rocking it in front of a crowd of thousands of people singing in another language and being completely kick ass while doing so.

The two kept on hooting and hollering for their boy during the fourteen and a half minutes of French music, Kurt doing high kicks, spins, and lifts all the while, even helping with the other girls' lifts at times. Neither the two at home nor McKinley's team were surprised when it was announced about an hour later than McKinley had won finals. It was like what Burt asked rhetorically later that night, "With Kurt on their team, how could they really lose?"

—

"So, we need a guy to fill out the bass solo line of the song," Mr. Schue said. "It's pretty low…Finn? Do you think you could hit those notes?"

Finn shook his head as he looked at the sheet music, "No way, man, that's, like, not even human."

The girls and tenors sighed as Mr. Schue started warming the baritones up in their lower register, trying desperately to get them down to those notes. "I guess we can put it up the octave; it doesn't have the usual effect, but it would work."

Kurt and Puck looked at each other. "Tell him," Puck said, nudging his friend as they turned back to their teacher.

Kurt shrugged, "I could probably sing that."

The whole room turned to him, confusion written all over their faces. "Wait, wait," Rachel said, holding a hand up, "Just a few months ago you were talking about how you can sing high notes and now you can sing a bass part? I'm not sure I believe you."

"First off, everyone knows Kurt blew the contest, Berry," Puck said defensively, "Second of all, how about you wait for Kurt to actually try singing it before you judge him. He has a freakishly wide range, trust me."

Kurt nodded at Brad, "The note, please?" He played it and Kurt cleared his throat daintily, staring at the sheet music. " _Tear the roof off, we're gonna tear the roof off this mother sucker, tear the roof off this sucker_ ," Kurt sang, his voice indeed hitting the low notes. He looked back up, unimpressed with his classmates' shock. Back in his high speaking voice, he asked, "Can we move on now?"

The rest of the Glee club stared in shock for a bit longer. "I am  _so_  turned on right now," Santana said in disgust. The rest of the girls nodded in agreement, not sure they could look at Kurt the same way ever again.


	17. Constants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth is about to be born and everything is getting on Puck's last nerve, even his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewrite of "Journey to Regionals"

"No one wants any pizza?" Mr. Schue asked his students. The room remained silent so he awkwardly continued on, "Okay, let's get started. Welcome to the First Annual New Directions Regional Set List Nominations Party."

"What's the point, Mr. Schue?" Artie said hopelessly. "Ms. Sylvester's one of the judges; she's going to crush us."

"Artie…you don't know that."

"Yes, we do," Santana said. "She told us at Cheerios practice."

"Yeah, she said, 'I'm going to crush Glee club'," Brittany agreed. Kurt nodded from where he sat next to Puck, remembering the high of just winning Nationals for Cheerios being ruined by that announcement.

"A whole freaking year," Puck sighed, "All that hard work for nothing."

In the middle of the silent room, Tina let out a sob. The group turned to her and she explained, "I'm sorry…I just  _really_  love you guys. Do you know how many Facebook friends I had before I joined Glee club? Two: my parents." She laughed softly, "Rachel was right: being a part of something special made me special. I just can't believe it's going to be over in a week."

"Wait, who said it's going to be over?" Finn asked from the other side of the room as Kurt and Puck.

"Please," Mercedes scoffed, "Do you really think Santana or Brittany will acknowledge my existence when we're not in Glee club together anymore?"

"…She's right," Santana agreed.

"Mr. Schuester?" Rachel asked, "Do you think instead of nominating songs we can just go around the room and talk about the things we loved about Glee club this year?"

Despite Mr. Schue and Finn disagreeing, the Glee club decided to talk about what they liked most, taking turns around the circle to talk about it. They commented on each one, from little  _aw_ s to full out stories spawning from it. When it got to Kurt, he let out a small laugh, "I've had a lot of adventures this year, it's hard to choose one." The rest of the group laughed with him since that was definitely true.

He mulled it over for a moment and quietly said, "Ever since I was three, Noah's been the only person in my life besides my dad. I never had other friends to talk to about anything because I was bullied and teased my whole life. I just had Noah." Kurt stared at his hands and took a deep breath, "I never expected to have any friends besides him. And then Glee club started and it was the first time I did something without him at school. And I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm just glad to say I have more friends now. It's not easy for me to trust people, but I trust you all." He looked up, "I really do."

" _Awwwww_ ," Tina and Rachel cooed as Mercedes rested her head on Kurt's shoulder and hugged him. "Love you, boo," Mercedes said.

"Love you, too," Kurt repeated.

Then the room turned to Puck. "Um…" Puck rubbed the back of his neck. What  _did_  he like about Glee club? Hanging out with Kurt was nice and so was…wow…he really couldn't think of anything. How did Kurt have all this fun and made all these friends but he didn't? Glee club just introduced him to pain by making him see Quinn with Finn and then Quinn pregnant and single and refusing him. Glee club was supposed to open him up to joy, but it only opened him up to getting punched repeatedly in the head by Hudson. He liked singing, yeah, but everyone else had all these deep moments or rewarding experiences except him. Even Santana, who almost never showed emotions, had admitted to it before.

"I just really liked having the chance to sing. 'Sweet Caroline' has been one of my favorites for years, and it was nice to have people besides my family and Kurt hear it," Puck finally said as the rest of the group  _aw_ -ed, Kurt smiling and squeezing his knee softly.

—

"I've missed you at home," Puck told Quinn. He sat at her side as they waited for the doctor for the final ultrasound that would tell them if their daughter was facing the right way and all those other things Puck didn't really understand. "Sara misses you, too. She keeps asking if she can trade me for you."

Quinn smiled softly at that but simply said, "I just need some time with Mercedes to clear my head." It wasn't a complete lie; she knew that the more time she spent with Puck the more she felt compelled to make a stupid mistake and try to raise a daughter as a teenager. The more she was with him, the more she felt the feelings she really had for him grow into something that wouldn't last between the two of them, something that wasn't truly real from his end as long as Kurt was around.

Puck grabbed her hand, "Well, if you ever want to—"

"Okay," a voice said as he opened the door, "Time to see this baby." Puck nodded, letting his thought drop from discussion. The doctor gave him a weird look, probably wondering why there was a different guy here than from the first appointment, but he went about his work.

After he squirted that weird liquid on Quinn's exposed belly and she had the typical reaction of "oh, that's cold", he started the ultrasound. Puck watched in awe as his daughter, something he could really call  _his_ , was up on the screen.

"Woah," he said, holding Quinn's hand still as the Doctor pointed out things on the screen like her heart ("which is beating at a normal rate") and her head. Puck had never felt such pure joy in his heart as when he watched Beth breathe and simply be on the screen.

"And she's definitely facing the right way," the doctor finished, pulling the tool off of Quinn's stomach. Puck wanted to protest that he wanted to see more of Beth but the doctor just kept talking, "She could still shift at this point in the pregnancy, but it's rather rare. But all of her vitals are fine, so even if she's born now she'll be completely fine. Any questions?" Both teens shook their heads. "Good. And you're going for the natural birth, right?"

"Yes," Quinn said, pulling down the hospital gown over her now slick skin, starting to get self-conscious about her stomach just being on display.

"And you're in Lamaze classes then?"

Quinn nodded, "Yeah, Puck's been helping me with them."

The doctor looked at Puck with the same confusion and disdain from earlier but nodded. "Good. Well, see you when you're in labor then."

Puck waited for the door to close completely after the doctor left before saying, "I don't like him."

Quinn rolled her eyes as she started sitting up, "Whatever you think, he's still the best in Lima, so get over it." She slowly stood on the tile, the hospital gown draping over her as she winced on her swollen ankles. "Now get out of here so I can change."

Puck took his turn to roll his eyes, "C'mon, Quinn, I've seen you naked; there's not need to hide from me." One sharp glare from Quinn later and he quickly said, "I'll be in the waiting room."

He went to the waiting room and found Kurt off in the corner rereading  _The Count of Monte Cristo_  for his upcoming English final. When he sensed Noah in front of him he looked up and put his book down. "So?"

"Everything's completely healthy, she's great."

Kurt grinned, "That's great!" Puck sat down next to him and he rubbed his knee, "I'm glad I could be here for you."

Puck nodded and just sat there for a few moments. Finally he said, "I just wish Quinn hadn't left the house, you know?" He turned to Kurt to keep talking but stopped himself when he saw Kurt was back to reading his book.

Kurt took a moment but he eventually turned to Noah, "Wait, did you say something? Sorry."

"No, it's nothing," Puck said, turning to the wall in front of him and sinking down in his seat, annoyance burning in the pits of his stomach.

—

Kurt threw himself at Puck as soon as they got off stage from performing. "You were  _fantastic_ , Noah, I'm so proud," he exclaimed, hugging him tightly.

Puck laughed, on a bit of a performance high himself, thanking Kurt. They both whooped with the rest of the team as they ran back to the dressing room, actually feeling like they could win this thing. They were two of the first people back in the dressing room, dancing around and cheering like nobody's business. After Artie wheeled in, Puck looked around and realized Quinn wasn't there.

"Guys, have you seen Quinn?" he asked.

"She's out there," Santana said, jerking her head back from where they walked in from, "Her mom showed up; she's talking to her."

Puck didn't know what to think. On one hand, he was beyond grateful that Judy seemed willing to talk to Quinn now because then maybe Quinn would finally have her home back. On the other hand, there was a small part of him who just wanted her to move back in with him, maybe even raise Beth together.

But all his thoughts were interrupted as Quinn yelled, "PUCK!" Puck looked at Kurt and then quickly ran for Quinn, the rest of the Glee club following him.

He found her holding onto her stomach, looking slightly horrified and surprised, "My water broke."

It took several seconds for Puck to realize what that meant, but eventually the words all connected in his mind and he knew what was about to happen.

He was about to see his daughter be born.

"Okay, we've got to get to the hospital and now—"

"What about the competition?" Kurt asked without thinking.

Puck turned to him, glaring, "If you don't want to be there, you can stay behind, I don't care."

"Be nice, Mohawk," Mercedes warned, stepping out from the group to stand behind Quinn. "C'mon, guys, let's go."

"You comin'?" Puck asked Kurt, staring him down.

"Of course," Kurt said, following them out the door, still sensing a stiffness from Noah towards him, something he never felt before.

—

Giving birth was something everyone said was a beautiful thing. Well, Puck was pretty sure whoever said that had something against vaginas.

First off, they had to wait until Quinn was dilated, like, ten centimeters. Ten! Man he hoped vaginas were like elastic or else Quinn's would never go back to normal size.

After she was fully dilated to that freaky size (ten!), the actual labor started. Puck wasn't sure how expelling something that big from one's body would feel, but if Quinn's cursing and pleas to be let go and tears were any indication, it was not a very pleasant feeling. It was actually hurting his pride with all the insults, too, and Mercedes' hand looked about ready to be snapped off as Quinn squeezed it and Judy seemed hurt that Quinn hadn't held her hand, so no one was safe from the pains of giving birth.

But just in hopes that vaginas were still pretty, Puck stuck his head over to look.

That was a bad choice. Good thing he still had boobs to look forward to when it came to girls.

But even with all the vagina stretching and Quinn's yelling and hand gripping, Puck was most upset that he was just so completely frozen. He had gone to the Lamaze classes and yet he seemed to have forgotten  _everything_  about it. He found himself sending a silent prayer of gratitude to God for having Judy Fabray there to help instruct Quinn in what to do and for doing simple things Puck should've remembered to do, like getting ice cubes to rub on her forehead and just being soothing.

Damn it, he wasn't going to do anything right.

Eventually he got himself to go back over to Quinn, helping to encourage her to push Beth out, encouraging her to keep going. He held onto her other hand until she let go of both of them to hold onto the safety rails on her bed as she pushed and pushed. He did all he could, but it just seemed like their child would never be born.

But then it finally happened. Quinn gave a final push and their daughter was there. Bloody and covered with some goo, but still there. And Puck got to cut the chord, because he was the father, he was the father of this perfect, beautiful creature.

He had done something right.

—

"She looks like you," Puck said softly, unable to take his eyes off of his baby girl, his  _daughter_. He couldn't believe it was real. Finally he had to ask, "Do you want to keep her?"

"No." Puck resisted the urge to sigh. He had known all along that he wouldn't be able to convince her, but actually getting told the answer was a completely different story. "Do you?" Quinn asked. Puck didn't say anything, but his look said everything that needed to be said. She sighed, "Did you love me?"

"Yes. Especially now," he smiled and looked over at Quinn. They stared at each other for a moment before laughing softly, the utter lack of romance of the moment really sinking in.

"Which one is yours?" Quinn and Puck turned to find Shelby standing there, looking at the nursery.

"What are you doing here?" Quinn asked.

"Ah, I see her now," Shelby said, avoiding the question. "She looks like you." Quinn frowned; she really didn't want this beautiful baby to have a connection to someone as screwed up as her when they would never be connected again. "Does she have a name?"

"No."

"Beth," Puck replied a split second later.

"Pretty. I like that name," Shelby said softly, looking at her again.

The three of them all stood there for a while, just watching Beth. Finally Shelby asked, "Are you guys keeping her?"

"No," Quinn said again. Puck wanted to correct her and tell Shelby that she wanted to keep Beth more than anything, but he couldn't. He knew Beth needed a better home than what he could provide, even if it tore him apart just thinking about it.

"So you're putting her in adoption?"

"Not much else we can do," Quinn said quietly, turning away from the window. She couldn't watch her beautiful girl anymore.

Shelby took a deep breath and turned to them. She looked at Quinn, "Let me adopt her."

The two stood in stunned silence for a while as if they didn't understand her words. "What?" Quinn finally said, "You want to raise her? But…but I thought you told Rachel…" Quinn trailed off, not sure what she was trying to say.

"Look," Shelby started, stepping towards them, "I can't undo what happened with Rachel. I never had a chance to raise her, and because of some medical problems, I'll never have a chance to raise another child again unless I adopt."

"But what about Vocal Adrenaline? You're in rehearsals all day," Quinn pointed out.

Shelby sighed, "I'm stepping down. I want a normal life, or maybe a performing life in Broadway again. I don't want to raise soulless automatons anymore; I sent in my resignation earlier today."

Quinn blinked, the news shocking her. "Okay…"

"And do you realize how hard it is to get adopted? It could take months before she gets adopted, if she even gets adopted at all. She'll be put in foster care, she could move around and around," Shelby sighed again, "I know you don't know me, and I know you probably dislike what you  _do_  know about me because of your friend, but I promise I'll give Beth a great life. And even if I move away, I'll make sure to let you see her when you want. We'll have an open adoption, which is something anyone who adopts her could deny you." She looked at Beth again, smiling softly at the beautiful baby right in front of her, "Just think about it, okay?"

With that, Shelby started down the hallway. Quinn watched her for a moment and then looked at Beth. After a large pang in her heart, she called out, "Shelby, wait!" Shelby turned around and Quinn continued, "I want you to adopt her."

"What about you, Puck?" Shelby asked, her brown eyes hopeful.

Puck hadn't spoken during the whole exchange. What was he supposed to say? It was Quinn's choice either way. He wasn't raising Beth without her and he wasn't going to oppose who Quinn wanted to raise Beth either. And he had only managed to do one thing right by helping create her, he wasn't sure he could pull himself together enough to raise her well, too. He wasn't that great of a person.

"…Yeah…yeah, sure. You should raise her," Puck finally said, a large lump forming in his throat.

Shelby's face slowly formed into a smile, her whole face looking optimistic enough to cure cancer. She walked back over to the two of them and whispered, "Thank you." Her eyes started watering as she looked back at Beth, a small laugh leaving her throat. She just watched Beth for a while, smiling and crying. Finally she said, "Let's start the paperwork, then."

And start it they did. Puck felt awful, each little stroke he made with the pen feeling like he was signing away his heart. How could he get rid of the one good thing he had done with his life? He kept telling himself how he wasn't ready to raise a kid, how he wasn't raising Beth without Quinn, how he wasn't abandoning her because she'd have a mom who'd love her, but it didn't stop the burning sensation in the back of his eyes.

As Quinn and Shelby worked on more paperwork, Puck sat in the hallway, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. After half an hour or so he recognized that Kurt had sat next to him at some point, when he wasn't so sure, but there he was. Knowing Kurt wanted to know what was going on, he said, "Quinn and I are signing the paper for Shelby to adopt her."

"I'm so sorry," Kurt whispered, barely audible. Kurt leaned into him, his left hand reaching across Puck to hold his right. He gently stroked the calloused skin, simply breathing and sitting with him. After a while he added, "Sadly I can't even tell you that we won Regionals to cheer you up."

Puck looked at Kurt like he was crazy, "Seriously, Kurt? You're bringing up show choir right now?" He scoffed, "I just got  _and_  lost my daughter in  _one day_  and you're comparing it to us losing a stupid singing competition?" He stood up, "News Flash: just because Glee is ending, it doesn't compare to what Quinn and I have been through today."

Kurt's brow furrowed as he looked up at Puck. "Noah, I know that, I was just telling you since I thought you wanted to know how it turned out. I'm sorry I offended you—"

"Just…never mind, Kurt. I need to find Quinn and finish filling out paperwork. I'll see you later."

"Noah, I—"

" _Later_ ," Puck said again, almost  _glaring_  at Kurt before walking away.

—

"So…we have something we need to say to you," Rachel started.

Puck listened vaguely as everyone talked about how they had changed over the course of the school year because of Glee club. But he hadn't. He had started out the school year with no one but Kurt at his side, a Lima Loser who cleaned out pools and had sex with cougars and various Cheerios. He was still the same at the end of the year: he had no girlfriend because Quinn needed "time to herself" over the summer; he had no daughter because Quinn was in the process of signing her away to Shelby; and he had no new friends. It was just Kurt. The Glee clubbers were his "friends" supposedly, but who was really his friend? Who would text him to say  _hi_  over the summer? Who would talk to him on Facebook past wishing him a happy birthday? Who would actually go out of their way to spend time with him? Not Quinn, not Tina, not Artie, not Finn, not Mercedes…the only person who would ever do that was Kurt. Glee club hadn't changed him in anyway. If anything, it just made him realize how much of a Loser and a loner he was.

"I wasn't honest about who I was," Kurt said.

Now it was his turn to say something, right after Kurt, just like they practiced. He was just supposed to follow Kurt and be with Kurt and never be as good as Kurt because he was just Kurt's best friend. That's all he was and all he could ever expect to be. Somehow he managed to mutter, "I never sang outside my room," and the group went on talking about how they changed, about how Mr. Schue had changed them, about how they were better people now. But none of it meant anything to him. Would he miss Glee club? Well, yeah, but it didn't make any difference past singing and having fun to him.

And the one good thing he had done with his year, hell, with his whole life, was making his daughter. And what happened with her? She was yanked away from him immediately. His one good deed was flushed out of his life before he could even show the world how he had done something positive with his life. He was back at fucking square one and he was starting to think he'd never move past that square.

When they finished their song, everyone was crying. They were losing the best part of their life. Puck, however, was just numb. He left as soon as it was socially acceptable to and stalked out of school. He didn't feel like spending another day listening to everyone talk about how much Glee had changed them when apparently he would never evolve like that.

—

"You wanted to see me, Mr. Schue?" Puck asked, his hands under his backpack's straps as he stood in the door of Mr. Schue's office. He was sweating, nervous that Mr. Schue was going to call him out on not growing at all over the school year.

"Yeah, Puck, come on in," Mr. Schue said, waving him in to sit in the chair in front of his desk. Puck hesitantly did so and Mr. Schue looked at him, "You can read sheet music, right?"

Puck's brows furrowed, "Um…yeah. Why?"

Mr. Schue's face split into a grin, "Would you be able to play guitar and sing harmony for me today in the emergency Glee meeting I called?"

Puck relaxed into a smile. That was all he wanted? "Of course," Puck said, "What is it?"

"It's the Israel Kamakawiwo'ole version of 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow'," Mr. Schue said, pulling out sheet music from his desk drawer. At Puck's confused look he added, "The Hawaiian version."

"Oh," Puck said, recognition dawning on his face, "Yeah, I know that one." He took the sheet music in his hand and looked it over, "Kurt calls it an abomination of the Judy version." Mr. Schue laughed as Puck continued to look it over, "Yeah, I can totally play this. It's pretty basic…" He looked back up at his teacher, "If I just play it through during lunch I can even do it memorized if you want."

"Really? That'd be great," Mr. Schue said, a bit surprised. "I should've known a talented guitar player like you would be able to get it."

"Um…thanks," Puck said, looking back down at his music.

Mr. Schue continued looking at him like he did with his students, like he was seeing into their soul. "Everything okay, Puck?"

Puck swallowed, "Yeah, never better."

The teacher leaned forward and said, in that soft voice he always used when he was saying something supposedly deep, "Shelby told me about what you and Quinn are doing." Puck tensed up as he continued, "I know it must be hard to do, but she'll have a great life with Shelby. It's the right thing to do."

Puck nodded, "Yeah…yeah, she'll love it." He stood up, sheet music in hand and said, "I'll go practice this. I'll see you later, Mr. Schue." Before Mr. Schue could stop him, he was out the door.

—

"We've got another year!" Mr. Schue announced with great joy all over his face. It took several moments for the club members to realize that he truly meant, but when they did, the room was filled with the commotions of screams and laughs and cheers and the image of everyone hugging those around them. Puck even gave Mercedes a hug, avoiding Kurt as he hugged his other friends, partly to avoid Quinn, who was sitting next to him, but mainly just because every time he thought about Kurt he started getting angry lately.

"Now I think this will be a great time to start working on Sectionals for next year—"

"No, you've guys have worked hard this year," Mr. Schue interrupted, sitting Rachel back down. "You all deserve a break. Take the summer off, relax! But since you guys sang for me yesterday, I want to sing for you today." He took out a ukulele from a case on the piano and motioned to Puck, "Puck, if you're ready."

Puck nodded and stood up, getting his guitar from his case and pulling up a stool next to Mr. Schue's. With a quick tune up so they were in the same key, they started the song, the other kids doing hula moves and aww-ing and cuddling as they thought over the school year.

It was nice to perform the Glee club like this, though. He actually felt like people cared about his talent this way, like people wanted to hear and see more of him. Mr. Schue chose him even though Artie played guitar or even when he could've gotten a stupid little karaoke recording. It meant someone really appreciated his talents.

But as soon as the song ended and the kids stopped jamming, he realized how little it really meant. He wasn't special; he was still just Puck. Quinn had given birth and realized being popular wasn't the only thing that made life worthwhile; Finn had a girlfriend that was a much better fit and became less homophobic; Rachel had become less concerned with competing against her friends; Mercedes dressed snappier and had more confidence; Tina stopped faking a stutter and got the principal to accept her choice of dress; Mike actually let people see how he well he could dance; Matt had actually spoken; Santana had learned to love something besides just being a bitch; Brittany let herself be friends with people that weren't Quinn and Santana; Artie became the fucking King of Confidence, doing everything everyone did but in a wheelchair and without complaints.

And, of course, there was Kurt. Perfect little Kurt. He had grown so much. His circle of friends had grown, his trust had grown, his confidence had grown, and he had even grown physically, now taller and less baby-faced. Kurt had grown into such a great guy and yet his best friend had been left behind.

That was never supposed to happen.

He wasn't supposed to grow so much without his best friend, he wasn't supposed to become better than him. Kurt was always destined for bigger and better things, but Puck was meant to take those steps towards a brighter future  _with_  him, not behind him. But Kurt had moved on in his life past Noah and hadn't even thought to warn his best friend of that.

And Puck couldn't really stop himself from hating Kurt for that.

—

"I liked your playing today in Glee," Kurt said as Puck finished putting his guitar away, the rest of the kids leaving to start studying for finals. Kurt figured he would talk to Puck some more first and then study with him like he always did, Puck helping him remember geometry terms ("pentagon, not pentagram") and Kurt helping Puck with his English assignments.

"Thanks," Puck muttered, his back still turned to Kurt. That puzzled him since it shouldn't have taken that long to pack up a guitar, right? Kurt just shook it off, continuing on with his comments.

"Obviously that version isn't as good as the Judy one, but that was definitely the best version of  _that_  version I've heard."

Puck's fist clenched for a moment, feeling belittled by Kurt's words that were just meant as Kurt being Kurt. He didn't say anything in response.

"So, ready to study for finals?" Kurt asked.

"I didn't realize we made plans," Puck mumbled.

Kurt's brows furrowed and his stomach sank; something definitely was wrong. "Well, I guess we didn't, we just always study together, so I assumed we were—"

"I'm not just someone you can expect to always be waiting for you, Kurt," Puck said, finally turning around, anger burning in his eyes. "I have things in my life besides you."

"I…I know—"

"Just because I didn't grow over this fucking year like everyone else doesn't mean I'm not awesome or that you can just expect me to always be the same in your life, because I  _won't_. I'm not going to be the same person all the time, Kurt, I'm  _not_ , I could've made plans with anyone else, you can't assume things," Puck ranted.

Kurt's eyes narrowed just a bit in recognition, "You're upset because you don't think you've grown over the year? Of  _course_  you've grown over the year, Noah, I could've told you that. Why didn't you just talk to me?"

"Funny enough, Kurt, I'm my own person outside of you. I don't have to come after you with everything I say or do or think because I can make up my own mind about things concerning  _me_. You're not the only defining factor of my life even if you think you are."

Kurt was confused as to what Puck was upset over, his head starting to throb as he tried to follow what his best friend was saying. "Noah, I'm not following you. I'm trying to figure out what I did wrong here."

Noah laughed hollowly. "Oh, nothing, you did  _nothing_  wrong, because you're Kurt Hummel, and you are  _perfect_. You've grown in every sense of the word, you have friends who care about you and you're not stuck with just one person looking out for you."

"But everyone in Glee club is your friend, too," Kurt said, clenching his eyes shut as he tried to follow Noah's screwed up logic. "You have ten other people in that club who love you and want you to be happy, it's not just me."

"Yeah, right," Noah laughed again, "Would Mercedes would totally speak to me if it wasn't for you? Please, she wouldn't even give me the time of day. Hudson still hates my guts, too, and Quinn—" His voice caught on Quinn's name, tears stinging at the back of his eyes.

Kurt's eyes opened and softened at the look on Puck's face. He stepped closer to him, placing one of his hands over his, and softly said, "This is about Quinn."

Puck's hand flew away and back as if he was about to strike him. Kurt jumped back, actually terrified for the first time that Puck was going to attack him. "This isn't about Quinn, this isn't about Beth," Puck's voice cracked on his daughter's name, but he powered on, "This is about _you_ , do you have a hearing problem? Are you not hearing what I'm saying? It's about how you expect me to never change, you expect me to be here for you forever, just waiting for you to go on and do these great things and just fucking wait for you to come back and tell me about how awesome it was. Even today, I'm sorry that it wasn't your fucking version of the song but I was proud that I was asked and you just acted like it was nothing."

"Noah, we both know you lash out when you're hurt, but you need to realize that this is not fair, Noah, you know that I always compliment people like that—"

"Just another example of how you don't support me at  _all_."

Now Kurt felt his own flames start to grow bigger, "Don't you  _dare_  Noah Puckerman, I have supported you through  _everything_ , I—"

"Yeah, you did a fucking good job with it at the hospital, huh? All those times you helped me when I looked at Beth or had to sign her away—oh, wait, you didn't help with  _any_  of that!" Puck yelled, his hands flying around as if they would express his emotions better.

"I was giving you some space since everything I was saying was just pissing you off more," Kurt said, his voice a mix of desperation, hurt, and fury.

"Just some space, huh? Well, fine, you like giving people space, how about I show you what it's like," Puck said.

As soon as the words left his mouth, a silence fell on the room and a roaring sound filling Kurt's ears as everything he thought he knew fell down to the floor and shattered in a million pieces.

"…What?" Kurt finally whispered, "What do you mean 'space'?"

Puck set his jaw, "You know what I mean, Kurt." He grabbed his guitar and softly said, "We were always meant to separate at some point; we always knew that." And with that he left the choir room and his best friend.

—

Kurt was in such a daze the next day he didn't even notice that Karofsy and Azimio were swooping in on him until it was too late. With practiced synchronization, they had him lifted in the air. Kurt didn't fight it, he never did, and soon he was thrown in the dumpster, the smell of old yogurt and ketchup making him nauseas.

Outside the dumpster, the jocks laughed and fist bumped, rejoicing about getting the school homo in the dumpster on one of the last few days before summer break. Azimio was laughing at something Karofsky had said when he saw Puck walking from the parking lot.

"Shit, Puckerman's here, we gotta split," he said. They quickly walked towards the school building, not willing to be attacked then and there by Noah Puckerman.

Kurt perked up at the mention, looking over the edge of the dumpster. As Puck got closer, his heart lifted. Puck would help him out of the dumpster and they'd make up like always, Kurt helping Puck realized he was loved and both of them moving on with their lives. It's what they always did, it was a constant of their life.

He smiled at Puck as he walked closer and reached his hand out, ready to be helped out. Instead of taking his hand, however, Puck did the unimaginable.

He walked right past him.

He  _bumped into Kurt's hand_  and just walked right by.

Kurt's hand stayed stretched out as his eyes followed Puck. The boy didn't even turn around once as he walked to the building.

Finally all the words Puck had said yesterday hit him like a bucket of ice. Puck  _wasn't_  a constant in his life, he  _wasn't_  always going to be his best friend. He choked out a sob and lowered himself back in the dumpster, his legs losing the strength to keep him up.

For once in his life, Kurt Hummel was completely alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me. Remember, as Les Mis taught us, "Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise."


	18. Best Years of Our Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do Kurt and Puck handle a summer apart? And what happens when the school year starts back up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewrite of "Auditions" and "Britney/Brittany"

It always seemed like the world wanted to make Kurt into a cold person. First he was made fun of by all of his classmates for every year he was in school. Then his mom, the light of his life, died suddenly and painfully from ovarian cancer. Then he had to deal with being gay and very obviously so in a less than accepting atmosphere. But the world had never planned on him having Noah Puckerman in his life.

Puck was like him, a boy who was hurt by people from a young age, a boy who had difficulties letting people see who he really was, someone who had anger underneath a mask of apathy. But he was also different enough for Kurt to complement him. Whereas Kurt loved to play with dolls and his tea set, Puck played superheroes and videogames. Kurt was always challenged in his relationship with Noah, he always had to be on his toes since Puck knew him, Puck  _was_  him, but Puck was also someone he would never be. That's how they worked, two peas in a pod but peas of different shape, color, and texture, like some experiment of Mendel's gone wrong.

But now he was alone in his pod. The world had caught up with him and realized that his life wasn't sucking enough so they had to take his best friend.

So, fine, he wasn't closed off enough to the world, he wasn't cold enough or unhappy or angry enough? Fine. He would just close himself off in his now half-empty pod and not trust anyone anymore. He was tired of fighting the world.

—

**Birthday**

"Happy birthday!" came the chorus of Kurt's friends as he opened the door in the morning.

He looked completely shocked, "How did you guys know it was my birthday? I didn't tell anyone."

"Facebook, duh," Mercedes said, leading everyone into Kurt's house. "So I thought I'd get everyone we could together to celebrate at lunch since I'm sure your dad has some dinner planned."

"Yeah, every year," Kurt said looking around at the Gleeks Mercedes managed to get to come to his house during summer, an anxious look on his face he seemed to have now whenever people did something nice to him.

"I still can't believe you're actually the oldest kid in Glee club," Tina teased, "Seeing as you only started looking like a teenager a few months ago."

Kurt gave her a half-smile for that, "What can I say; I age well."

"Yeah, well, you'll be everyone's best friend in college when you're 21 before they are," Artie pointed out as they went to the living room. Kurt sat down across from Artie and was suddenly reminded of the only other time Artie was in his house, how he was there to try to get Kurt to forgive Puck. He swallowed a lump in his throat and tried to smile for his guests.

"True," Kurt said, bending his legs by his chest, a physical barrier between him and the world.

"Hey, I think I hear a birthday boy!"

Kurt rolled his eyes but still smiled, "Good morning, Dad."

Burt walked into the living room, waving at Kurt's friends as he went over to his son. Making him stand up, he hugged him tightly. Kurt finally smiled for real, hugging his dad back.

When he was finally released from the hug, Kurt sat back down. "So, dinner at Chez Pierre tonight?"

"Of course, you know how your birthday dinner works," Burt said. "The only difference is that Carole and Finn will be there." But both of them knew the other big difference; Noah wasn't going to be there.

Kurt smiled weakly and brought his legs back to his chest, "So, let me see these presents then."

—

Puck was restless throughout the whole day. He did all his chores and even some or Sara's, he cleaned his room, he mowed the lawn, he even rearranged the family DVD collection. If anyone asked, he'd say it was before he was just bored from being out of school. But Mae wasn't fooled; in fact, she asked him why he ended up joining her and Sara for dinner.

Today was Kurt's birthday after all.

Merely shrugging, Puck ate the rest of his meal in silence. When he tried to rush through cleaning the dishes, his Ma sent Sara out of the room and cornered him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Ma," Puck said defensively, drying off the last dish.

"Yeah, and I'm a devout Catholic," Mae said, rolling her eyes. "What's wrong with you and Kurt?"

Puck bristled at the mention. "None of your business, Ma. Sometimes people just grow apart." Not bothering with putting the dishes away, he stormed out of the kitchen and went to his room. He immediately pulled out his phone and texted Santana to see if she'd be up for a booty call and some booze; he needed to forget what day it was.

—

**Father's Day**

Puck always hated Father's Day.

Well, actually, that wasn't true. He used to like it. When he was younger it meant that he got to leave the house so his dad could rest all day, his Father's Day wish every year, and so Puck got to play at the arcade and then run around with Kurt. Then after his dad left, he spent Father's Day with the Hummel's.

It was the first Father's Day the Hummel's would be spending without Kate. Kate always made the day special for Burt despite it being a holiday few showed much respect for. She'd cook his favorite meals and not nag him about cholesterol, she'd get him presents, she'd let him have movie marathons, and, after Puck got older, Puck realized that getting him to help fix the shower was just a clever ruse to get them away from Kurt and Puck for an hour or so. He never told Kurt that, just letting Kurt believe that the shower just broke easily.

So the Hummel's were feeling quite a loss that Father's Day as well. But Mae made  _latkes_ , her specialty, while Kurt and Puck watched a John Wayne marathon, Burt's request, intently. And Burt focused on Sara, the little toddler with nothing to do. He played games with her, read with her, and even let her sit on his lap during dinner. With that the two broken families created a new tradition together.

Burt always had a watchful eye for Sara after that. He'd always scoop her up in his arms when he saw her and she started calling him  _Papa Burt_ , which he never discouraged unlike when Noah called him that (having the guy you assumed would be your future son-in-law call you that seemed weird to Burt, but Sara was just so cute when she did it; Noah assumed he just wasn't worthy of using the title of "dad" on him).

So Puck used to like Father's Day with the smell of latkes in the air and the action movies blaring on the television as Sara played with Burt like Kurt used to play with him. But this one was completely different.

No calls were made to plan out which house it would be at; Noah assumed the Hummel's would be spending it with the Hudson's anyways. Just another way that Kurt could upgrade his life and move on while Puck stayed behind. Puck told his mom he was going to the arcade but he ended up standing in front of the 7/11 until someone took enough pity on him to buy him some drinks so when he got home he could sit in his room get drunk.

Sara and Mae still had latkes but besides that, they didn't do anything they wouldn't do on any other day. But, secretly, they had sent out a card a few days earlier with words of gratitude for Burt. Sara gave him the project she had made at school before it ended for summer, a silly little poem and her school picture on a doorknob hanger. Mae added a message about how she hoped their sons would work out whatever was wrong soon (their "lover's quarrel", as she put it).

—

Kurt set the heart healthy breakfast for an egg white and spinach omelet (and, okay, a bit of cheese to be nice), freshly squeezed orange juice, and whole-wheat toast in front of his dad, smiling. "Happy Father's Day, Dad," he said, clapping him on the shoulder. "I have your favorite John Wayne movies,  _True Grit_  and  _The Quiet Man_ , ready to go when you finish, and we'll have dinner with Carole and Finn at six o'clock at Breadstix."

"Sounds great, kiddo," Burt said, and he really meant it. It was nice seeing his son genuinely happy these days. He started eating his omelet when Kurt bolted back up.

"Oh, forgot to bring in the mail yesterday, sorry! I'll go get that and the newspapers," he said, putting on a pair of flip-flops so his bare feet didn't have to touch the scorching pavement. Burt nodded, laughing to himself at Kurt's pants; he obviously needed to buy some since he was having yet another growth spurt.

A few minutes later, Kurt came in his face pained as he held a brown enveloped along with the newspaper. "Kurt?" Burt asked, feeling weary. Kurt merely put the envelope in front of Burt, the return address label reading  _The Puckermans_.

Burt looked up uneasily at Kurt. Kurt just crossed his arms and said, "Open it. It's for you." Burt wanted to tell him no, but the stony look on Kurt's face stopped him cold. He sighed and opened the envelope to find a gift from Sara and a small envelope reading  _To Burt_  in Mae's scrawl.

Kurt swallowed the lump in his throat, his face tight. He had hoped against all hope that maybe, just maybe,  _he_  would have actually sent something, that maybe it would somehow fix everything. "Come get me when you want to watch the movies; I'll be in my room, Dad," Kurt said softly, turning around and ignoring Burt's call of his name, "Happy Father's Day."

Throughout the rest of the day Kurt was quiet and distant once again, barely saying anything as he pushed the meatball from his spaghetti all over his plate with his fork. He didn't even take the bait when Burt complimented the pair of earrings Carole was wearing that he knew Kurt had helped her choose. Eventually he tried to at least smile for his dad, but it was so fake and insincere Burt would've preferred the cold expression Kurt seemed to have permanently etched on his face.

—

The rest of the summer went very similar for the two boys. Kurt forced himself to meet up with Mercedes or Tina or whoever whenever they texted. He bought some more pants, got a new haircut, tried to be a whole new person after his growth spurt, ready to enter the first day of school without his best friend—well, his real best friend, since Mercedes tried to fill the role as best as she could, but she was no Noah.

What Kurt didn't know was that Noah wasn't really Noah anymore. He had fully accepted his assumed fate as  _Puck_ , the Lima Loser who was a big enough sleaze ball to knock up his friend's girl and then ditch her (what people thought he did), the guy who would never leave Lima in his wildest dreams. Puck sexed up whomever he could find and worked out whenever he wasn't sleeping or getting drunk or watching Sara, his muscles even more pronounced. He was ready to enter school by himself, just like he deserved to be.

—

**Back at School**

Puck was totally nailing the Jacob Ben Israel interview. He got to talk about his vasectomy (so the girls knew he could fuck them condom free) and he got to talk about working out and making money (so the girls knew he had money and even more killer guns), so, basically, he got to talk about how awesome he was. Then the little dweeb had to throw him off.

"What is your response to the rumors that you spent the summer heart broken because you and your former best friend, Kurt Hummel, stopped talking because of a mistake  _you_  made?"

Puck froze, his heart pounding. How the fuck did he even know about that? He looked at the camera, then Jacob, then back at the camera so he could push it away. "No comment."

—

Kurt had been slushied quite a many times. He had been slushied by every flavor the cafeteria had to offer in all major wings of the school in various different outfits by various people, one of them even being himself. The slushies were why he always had a spare outfit in his locker, because even having the resident badass as your best frien didn't leave you immune from them. But never in his life had he been slushied in such a public, humiliating way: right in front of the camera after giving a great speech about bravery and honesty.

"Welcome back to school, freak!" Azimio laughed, trading a high five with Karofsky as Kurt struggled to wipe the slushie away. And, of course, Jacob refused to edit that part out. So Kurt had no choice but to set his jaw and bare it and change into his spare outfit. He had to get used to it anyways now that Noah was out of the picture.

—

Puck sat down in the corner of the chairs in the choir room, hoping to avoid sitting next to anyone. Not that anyone would want to sit next to him after the Kurt thing, but he might as well avoid it.

Slowly other kids started trickling in; Santana and Brittany, Finn and Rachel, Quinn (who at least had the decency to sit far away from him and avoid eye contact), Mike and Tina (well,  _that_  was a surprise), a glaring Artie, and Mercedes. The last person to arrive was, somehow, magically, Kurt.

Puck felt his stomach drop in dread while his heart leapt, still instinctively happy to see his best friend, or ex-best friend. He looked great; he was taller, more graceful, elegant, regal. But the cold shield he had up at school seemed at least ten times as thick, so thick Puck could swear he felt a chill in the air. He shrunk in his seat, looking at the door in hopes that Mr. Schue would get there soon.

Kurt studied Puck out of the corner of his eye. He was glad to see that he had decided to keep the Mohawk off. Puck looked even more muscular, more like an adult than ever. His brain was full of conflicting emotions of wanting to run over and hug him, run over and slap him and berate him, or just ignore him. But Mr. Schue came in before Kurt could ponder it further, ready to lead the kids in a recruiting gig.

—

Puck slid up in front of Quinn. "'Sup, MILF," he said, referencing the words he had used on her when he found out she was pregnant.

Quinn tensed her jaw, "What do you want, Puck?" She stuck her hip out in attitude, her Cheerios skirt showing off a delicious amount of leg.

"I was just thinking that you're the Head Cheerio again and I'm still the resident Bad Ass. Since we already have a history that made something pretty fucking perfect, maybe we can do this again," Puck said, gesturing between the two of them.

Quinn shook her head, "This year is about me, Puck. I'm finally focusing on me and what I really want."

Puck looked at her in disbelief, "Oh, so last year wasn't about you at all?"

"I mean about me trying to get to know me," Quinn snapped. She sighed, "Look, I'm not dating people this year. And I know you're only asking me about this because of…her. And, well, because of  _him_."

"Who?" Puck asked, not following who the  _him_ was for a moment. "Wait, you mean  _Kurt_?" The name sounded and felt foreign on his tongue after not uttering it for so long.

"Yes,  _Kurt_ , the guy who's supposed to be your best friend," Quinn said, her eyes narrowing at Puck's tone. "I don't know what the hell happened with you two—no one does because Kurt won't talk about it and you disappeared off the face of the planet for the past two months—but you need to work this out and  _fast_." She turned around and started walking down the hall in the opposite direction before turning back and walking back to him. "You know, you two were just a great inspiration for what real, unconditional love was. I'm really sorry to see that gone." That time she really did stalk off.

Puck didn't understand why she thought it was simple. He had fucked it over by saying what he did to Kurt and Kurt didn't deserve to forgive him, even if Kurt had fucked up things first. He didn't deserve to be forgiven. He didn't deserve to have anyone in life. He only deserved to be alone, like he was now, like Quinn basically confirmed by walking away.

He punched the locker next to him and stalked off, eyes stinging at tears he was  _so_  not going to shed.

—

"Wait, so where's Kurt?" Artie asked Finn. Mike and Puck were already there and Sam was standing in front of them awkwardly, waiting to start.

Finn blanched, "Oh…I was just thinking he'd show up with Puck. I was so used to that." Artie nodded sadly and they both told Sam he could start talking about himself.

"Dude, your mouth is  _huge_ ," Puck said after Sam shared some basic information about himself, "How many tennis balls can you fit in there?"

Artie face palmed as Sam answered. He just  _had_ to get more proof of Puck totally not being straight after he and Kurt stopped talking to one another, didn't he?

—

Kurt never realized how truly good he had it bullying wise. People stayed away from him more often than not because they were afraid of Puck beating their ass. Of course every now and then he got slushied or locker checked or thrown in a dumpster, but nothing major.

Not anymore.

It didn't take long for the school to realize that he and Puck weren't friends anymore, and soon after that he was being attacked as if they were making up for lost time. Dumpster tosses seemed to be a fad that was over for good, but slushies were, evidently, never going out of style; he couldn't count all the bruises he had received from being slammed into lockers; and the names he was called were enough to make him feel sick to his stomach (and made him think their moms needed to wash their mouths out with soap).

But he didn't tell anyone. None of it happened in front of people and it wasn't like he couldn't handle it. If his dad knew he'd freak out and Principal Figgins wouldn't be able to change anything, Mercedes would try to make sure he was followed everywhere, and Puck…Puck wouldn't care.

So he dealt with it all silently. Some would say he was just being a martyr, but he just knew he had no other choice. Some would say his growing bouts of yelling in anger at school were a result of the bullying and his frustration with Puck, but he would just tell those people to shut the fuck up and mind their own damn business.

—

It was kind of worrying how much Kurt was holding onto this need to do Britney at the assembly. No one really knew what it was about, but Puck sort of assumed it was because of him, Kurt's way of getting back at him.

Puck had no problem with Britney, he really didn't. She was smokin' when she wasn't, you know, bat shit insane and shaving her head and stuff, and her music was catchy as fuck. But he couldn't help but think of when Britney first came about on the scene.

Kurt was obsessed with her back then, playing "Baby One More Time" and "(You Drive Me) Crazy" so much he wore out the CD. He learned some of her easier dance moves and when  _Oops!...I Did It Again_  came out, Puck had to learn the dialogue for the title song  _and_  "Lucky" so he could reenact it with him. For years, Puck was dragged into Kurt's obsession.

Then in 2002, everything changed. A little Canadian girl said  _fuck it_  to the normal Britney and Christina sound and wrote an album called  _Let Go_. As soon as Puck heard the first song from it and saw her in her ties and camouflage pants in her first video, he was in love. Kurt was suddenly thrown into something Puck was obsessed with, constantly singing the not very punk but not very pop songs of Puck's favorite artist. Avril Lavigne had been a part of Puck's life ever since.

So the two friends both had their pop idols. They switched out listening to them and would gush about them, but never said a bad word against the other. Then eight-year-old Puck made some statement about Avril being so great because she didn't sound so unoriginal like her musical peers, she wrote a completely different sound. He mentioned Britney in his list of pop wannabees and Kurt was  _livid_.

It was the first time they ever fought.

So he could only see Kurt's insistence on Britney as an attack on his musical choices. He couldn't tell if it really was or if the little smirks he saw on Kurt's lips were his own imagination or not.

But it didn't matter what Kurt thought. Kurt wasn't his friend anymore. Puck didn't have friends. He was fine just by himself.

Puck knew he didn't deserve other people, but he still let himself have Avril Lavigne.

But, of course, this wasn't something he admitted to anyone. People thought she was a poser because of her more pop-sounding album (oh how Kurt talked his ear off about that one sounding like Britney whether Puck liked it or not), that she wasn't cool, and he honestly didn't understand why. She was a total badass, refusing to let anyone tell her how to change her sound, ready to flip off paparazzi for getting to close, an she was even mature enough to stay close friends with her ex-husband. And when Tim Burton made a new version of  _Alice in Wonderland_ , she just flat out asked if she could write a song for it, and how many women just went out and took what they wanted? She was cool.

So when he spent nights alone, a lot of times he'd listen to her angstier music to get through not having Kurt anymore, skipping over  _The Best Damn Thing_  to blast  _Under My Skin_  and  _Let Go_  (he was  _so_  excited to know that her next album was coming out spring of the next year).

After Kurt's first insistence of Britney, Puck cruised through iTunes and found a new single of hers he had never listened to before. It was technically just a song featuring her, but it was written and performed by her best friend, Evan Taubenfeld, a song called "Best Years of Our Lives". He didn't even question buying it.

The beginning was so haunting, the melody was captivating, and Avril sounded absolutely amazing on it. But it took several listens for Puck to finally catch all the lyrics.

" _It's been so quiet since you've gone_ ," Avril sang after Evan sang a few lines, " _And everyday feels more like a year. Sometimes I wish I could move on; the memories would all just disappear_."

" _So many things I would've said when I had the chance_ ," Evan sang.

" _So many times we took it all for granted_ ," they sang together before going into the chorus. " _I never thought this would ever end, never thought I'd lose my best friend. Everything is different now; can we stop the world from turning? I never thought I'd have to let you go, never thought I'd ever feel this low. I wish I could go back and we'd stop the world from turning._ "

" _Looking back on better days_ ," Evan sang as it went back to a verse

" _When we were young and thought we knew so much_ ," Avril finished.

Then they sang together, " _Now it seems so far away, I'm wondering if I was good enough_ …"

As the song kept playing on repeat, Puck felt his heart twist. Yet again, Avril had written a song that was just meant for him.

In less than a day it became his top played song on iTunes.

—

"Hey, Hummel, nice skirt."

Kurt rolled his eyes and looked up at Azimio. "Thanks, Azimio, but it's a  _kilt_  specifically made for the male body, designed by one Alexander McQueen." He turned away from him; he could just take another way to Glee club.

"Doesn't look like a kilt to me," Karofsky sneered, blocking Kurt's path, "Looks like a fucking  _skirt_. So you're a girl now? Officially?"

"Shut up," Kurt said, backing up right into Azimio again.

"Aw, the bitch is barking already," Azimio jeered, grabbing Kurt's arm.

"Let me go," Kurt said as calmly as possible.

"No  _please_?"

Kurt looked at Karofsky like he was nuts, "You've got to be kidding me."

"Looks like the homo's not gonna be polite about it," Azimio said, twisting Kurt's arm a bit. Not enough to do damage but enough for Kurt to yelp in pain.

"Please let me go," he said desperately, shame immediately coursing through his body at actually begging for it.

"Don't ever wear that again, homo," Azimio said in a growl. He let go of Kurt's arm with a push, Kurt colliding into Karofsky softly. He scrambled out from between them, their laughs echoing in the hallway.

That interaction was all he could think of the rest of the day. Every stare and whisper when people saw his outfit of choice—which he had worn before for crying out loud!—seemed ten times louder. It used to be that reactions like that would just make him roll his eyes and stand up straighter. Now he felt shame and guilt at every movement. It was hard to even walk at a normal pace.

When he finally got to Glee club, he had had enough. He had enough of people bullying him, he had enough of taking everything silently, and he definitely had enough of Mr. Schuester telling him no without even listening to his idea.

"Mr. Shue, you're letting your own personal issues get in the way of something that we are all telling you we really want to do," Kurt said as calmly as he could manage given his state. "I mean, this club regularly pays tribute to pop culture, and Britney Spears is pop culture; to suggest otherwise is heretical!"

"Kurt, I'm done talking with you about this."

"Geez! Let loose a little, would you! Stop being so frickin' uptight all the time!" Kurt practically screamed. He sat back, tense as what he had said hit the group. They all seemed to find it funny, and he couldn't believe he was being laughed at  _again_.

"Kurt…I'll see you in the principal's office," Mr. Schue said.

Kurt stood up and felt the kilt whishing around his lower thighs. With his head held high, he walked out of the choir room and to Principal Figgins' office.

Mr. Schuester sighed, "I'll be back, in a couple of minutes, guys."

As soon as the teacher left, everyone turned to each other. "Oh my God, Kurt telling off Mr. Schue might've just made my life," Rachel said.

"I know, right?" Tina said. "It's about time someone did."

As the kids continued to chatter, Puck watched the door. Why was Kurt doing that? The only times Puck could remember him full out lashing out at someone, sarcastic and catty comments aside, was when he was upset about something else and he took it out on other people. He kind of wanted it to be because of him, that he actually was important enough for that, because then Kurt missed would was missing Puck as much as Puck missed him, but that didn't make sense because he hadn't acted like this until the past few weeks.

But for whatever reason it was, he really didn't appreciate how everyone was acting like it was a great, inspiring moment. Something was wrong and they were all too dumb to see it. "Wow," he finally said darkly, "You guys suck  _real_  bad." He grabbed his bag and stuffed his ear buds in, playing "Best Years of Our Lives" as he left the school.

A few moments after Puck left, Artie said, "So no one knows what happened with those two, right?"

Mercedes sighed, "All I know is that during the last week of school Kurt was thrown in the dumpster and Puck just walked by him. Something must have happened right before it."

"So it was something to do with…you know," Tina said, looking at Quinn uncomfortably. Quinn tensed her jaw but nodded in agreement.

"And no one knows anything from Puck's side?"

"Well, are any of us really friends with him?" Mike asked, speaking up for once. When everyone looked at him (well, Artie glared), he explained, "I think of him as a friend because of football and Glee, but I never really talk to him or hang out with him outside of those two things. Finn definitely doesn't and I don't think anyone else does. Kurt at least has Mercedes and some of you girls. Puck really has been more of a loner except for Kurt, y'know?"

"Hey, I spent time with him this summer," Santana pointed out.

"Spending time with your legs in the air isn't really the type of time we're talking about," Quinn said with a smirk.

"Oh, screw you, you bi—"

"Stop the violence!" Brittany insisted again. Both girls glared at each other for a moment longer but then looked away, letting it drop.

"So, all we know is that—"

"Okay, guys, back to Christopher Cross," Mr. Schue said as he came jogging back in before the teens could say anything else on the issue at hand.

—

When Kurt got home that day (he was told if he spoke out like that again he could get suspended or expelled), he went on iTunes to check out some new music, needing something loud to make him forget about Britney and Glee club and stupid Karofsky and Azimio.

After some searching he managed to find a song by some guy he didn't know. "'Best Years of Our Lives'," Kurt read. With a shrug, he bought it with a leftover gift card from his birthday, not even looking at the words  _ft. Avril Lavigne_.

By the end of the day, it was tied with "Bad Romance" for his top played iTunes song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song "Best Years of Our Lives" was actually released a year after this happened on the show, but I couldn't resist since it is the perfect song for their "break up".


	19. Our Father Who Art in Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Burt in the hospital and Puck out of his life, Kurt is more broken down and vulnerable than he's ever been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewrite of "Grilled Cheesus"

"Dad, you are  _not_  a kid anymore, you've got to start taking care of yourself," Kurt chastised, handing the bag of the healthy meal he made to him until he finally took it.

"Well, I guess with enough hot sauce this will be alright. Thanks," Burt said, putting it down on the table behind him. Kurt made an annoyed face at the mention of hot sauce but let it go; at least he'd be eating something besides sodium-packed meat in a plastic wrapping. "Hey, don't forget, Friday Night Dinner is six instead of seven this week," Burt reminded Kurt as his son picked up a rearview mirror to examine his face. "Finn and Carole are coming over and she has to work the night shift."

"I can't do this Friday: Sing-a-Long  _Sound of Music_  at the All Royal Theater," Kurt said, putting the mirror back down. At Burt's look he added, "It's a once a year event."

"And last week you had to cancel so you could camp out and line up for those  _Gray's Anatomy_  DVDs," Burt pointed out. He wasn't particularly happy that Kurt was missing so many Friday Night Dinners, was getting a bit of an attitude, and had reprimanded him for his breakfast habits already that morning.

"Season six, dad," Kurt said, not getting how his dad didn't see the importance.

"Friday Night Dinners are a ritual in our family, one that your mom started."

"I know," Kurt said, not wanting to think of his mom that morning, "But I'm a teenager; Friday nights are kind of important to me." He looked at his dad in confusion, "Why are you making me feel guilty about this? I of all people know how important your relationship is between you and Carole."

"They're more than important, they're sacred" Burt said, ignoring Kurt's look. "The whole point of having something sacred is that it takes precedent over everything else you have going on."

"Sing-a-Long  _Sound of Music_ is sacred to me," Kurt said, not finding anything too heavy about that word, even if his dad's face indicated that he did.

"You think I don't know that? Wasn't I the one who bought you that Maria bonnet when you were six?" Kurt rolled his eyes and his dad went on, "The point is that if you start giving up things like Friday Night Dinners then you have nothing to hold onto. Let's face it, Kurt; if we don't schedule it, we don't hang out. If we don't hang out, then our lives just go right by each other. We don't share very much."

"I'm sorry; I'm not missing something I've looked forward to all year just for a dinner," Kurt said, starting to leave the garage. He turned around and offered, "Maybe we can do it Thursday or something." Then he shrugged and started leaving again.

And with that, Burt had enough of Kurt's attitude and finally said what was on his mind for the past few months, "This is about Noah."

Kurt froze and immediately said through gritted teeth, "We're not talking about him."

"Kurt," Burt said, trying to sound soothing as he walked up behind Kurt, "You can't keep doing this; it isn't healthy. I don't know what happened with you two, but you can't let it turn you into this cold person."

"I'm  _not_ ," Kurt said sharply, turning on his heel to face his dad. "And we're not getting into this, not now."

"Then when are we going to get into it?" Burt asked. Kurt's jaw jutted forward like he wanted to argue but he looked down at the ground. "You've been acting snippier lately and I'm guessing it's because you're seeing him everyday again but not talking to him." Kurt said nothing, not wanting to get into the fact that he knew deep down that it was also because he was getting harassed everyday at school now. There was no need to tell his father just so he'd get worked up and try to get Principal Figgins to solve it with no avail. It was better just to take it alone, just like he was meant to take everything.

Burt sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, "Kurt…remember how after your mom died you talked to a counselor at school?" Kurt slowly nodded apprehensively. "Maybe we can try something like that again, but with an actual therapist."

Kurt's eyes widened and he snapped his head up, his jaw clenched tight. "I am  _not_  crazy." He tried to storm out but Burt grabbed his arm.

"No one's saying you are, kid; you're more sane and grounded than anyone I know," Burt said. "All I'm saying is that it might help if you talk to someone since you lost your main pal and you clearly don't want to talk to me about any of it."

"But I don't need it, Dad," Kurt protested. "I am  _fine_." He jerked out of his dad's hold on his arm and practically glared him down. "I'm going to be late if I don't go now. Eat your breakfast; put all the hot sauce on it you want, I don't care." He turned on his heel and added as he walked off, "I'm still seeing my movie on Friday."

Burt's own jaw clenched at Kurt's tone, "I've gotta tell you, Kurt, I'm real disappointed." Whether Burt meant disappointment at himself or Kurt, he didn't know.

—

Kurt was a bit off for the rest of the day, seeming to arrive late to everything. When it came time for Glee club during what other kids used as free period, he scanned the room for places to sit. Due to his near lateness, only one was in open: right in front of Puck.

He swallowed roughly but walked briskly to the spot, his head held high. Primly sitting down, he waited for class to start, but soon Finn was interrupting Mr. Schue's speech and standing up in front of them.

"Something's happened to me. I can't really get into it, but it's shaken me to my core," Finn said, looking at everyone.

"Oh my God, he's coming out," Puck said. After it left his mouth his eyes darted down to Kurt. He hadn't meant to say it like an offensive thing about Kurt's crush, but now he couldn't take it back, even though he could practically feel Kurt seething in front of him.

"Well, yes, there is a man who's sort of come into my life," Finn continued. Puck felt that slight Fish Taco feeling in his stomach again, fearing the worst about him and Kurt, but Kurt glared at Finn. Oh no, there was  _no_  way Finn Hudson was suddenly gay now that they were practically stepfamily. "And that man is Jesus Christ," Finn finished.

There was a long silence in the choir room until Puck said, "…That's way worse."

"And I know there are others here who dig him, too," Finn continued, Quinn smiling and Artie rolling his eyes. "So I thought maybe this week we could pay tribute to him. In music." Brittany looked completely unimpressed and Santana had her typical  _what the fuck_  face on. "Pay tribute to Jesus."

"Sorry," Kurt started, full bitch mode on, "But if I wanted to pay tribute to Jesus, I'd go to church. And the reason I don't go to church is because most churches is because most churches don't think very much of gay people. Or women. Or  _science_."

"I don't see anything wrong with getting a little church up in here," Mercedes said with a smile. Kurt frowned; if his sort-of-replacement best friend was already against him on this, he wasn't sure he'd be able to handle the week ahead of them.

"I agree. I had a really hard year and I turned to God a lot. I, for one, wouldn't mind saying thanks," Quinn agreed.

"Thanks for what? That it didn't come out a Lizard Baby?" Santana snarked.

"Whenever I pray, I fall asleep," Brittany said.

"Well, guys, maybe our songs don't have to be about Jesus, maybe they can be about…spirituality" Mr. Schue said, causing Puck to roll his eyes.

"You got a problem with Jesus?" Finn asked Puck rather hostilely.

"No, I've got no problem with Jesus, I'm a  _total_  Jew for Jesus. He's my number one Heb," Puck explained, Kurt rolling his eyes. "I just don't like seeing people using J-money as an excuse for cramping everybody's style. Because it seems to me that true spirituality, or whatever you call it, is about enjoying the life you're given. I mean, I see God every time I make out with a new chick." Brittany smiled in agreement while Kurt rolled his eyes even more.

Before Kurt could even comprehend what was happening, Puck was walking past him to his guitar and starting to opening of "Only the Good Die Young". Kurt wasn't going to listen and deal with his former best friend singing to the girl who broke his heart as if that was a good idea, so he pulled out his phone and went into the corner of the room to play solitaire.

And if Puck felt insulted by that, he definitely didn't show it.

—

When Principal Figgins told Emma Pillsbury about Burt Hummel's heart attack, she felt that same pain she always did at hearing about the kids she cared about so much being hurt. Well, actually, if she was honest, it was a bit more than what she felt with the average kid. This was one of Will's kids and, whether she liked it or not, she still felt a connection to him and to his students. And Kurt really worried her more than the others. She used to see him walking around school with Puck all the time, smiling and laughing. Now he was normally alone, looking over his shoulder as if worried he was going to be attacked. But she had no idea how to talk to him about it, the incident that happened almost a year ago still making her feel awkward around him.

So she ran down to Will's office. He had a special connection with all his kids, even if they weren't Rachel or Finn, and Kurt would probably handle it better if he heard it from his teacher. And if he got so upset he vomited, well, she wouldn't be the only one in the line of fire at least.

Mr. Schue looked up at her when he heard her at the door. She quickly said, slightly breathless from running, "Burt Hummel's in the hospital." He dropped his pencil in shock. While it shouldn't have been so surprising—a car mechanic with a bit of a belly in his '40s seemed like the stereotype of bad heart health—he couldn't help but be surprised. The man he had talked to in Mr. Figgins' office seemed too powerful to be taken down.

And poor Kurt. He wasn't blind, he knew that he and Noah weren't friends anymore for whatever reason, and it was common knowledge that Kurt had lost his mom years ago. Now his dad was in the hospital? Will didn't have the strongest connection with Kurt, the boy very snarky and sarcastic and not easily approachable, especially not now, but he still felt awful for him.

"Where's Kurt?"

—

"Okay, class, take the future tense that we've been working on and tell your conversation partner what you'll be doing this weekend," Madame Branch said before sitting down to look over her class' homework.

Kurt rolled his eyes and turned to his conversation partner, Azimio. Due to Madame's seating arrangement, he was forced to sit next to his tormentor. He really had no idea how Azimio even made it that far in French classes, but he had a feeling his wandering eyes during tests were part of it.

But, on the bright side, Kurt could always use his own  _bien_  French skills to insult Azimio without him even knowing.

" _Je vais Sing-Along Sound of Music et dans deux heures je vais vivreplus de culture et de l'art que vous voulez dans votre vie entière_ ," Kurt told Azimio easily, the boy not even realizing he was getting told off, a proud smirk forming on Kurt's face.

"Kurt?" Kurt turned around, smile still on, only for it to drop a bit as he realized Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury were at the door waiting for him. "Can we speak to you for a minute?"

" _Oui_ ," Kurt said softly, still in French mode. He shook his head, "I mean, yes." He grabbed his bag and slowly walked out, the looks on their face telling him something bad was happening.

As soon as the door closed behind them, he looked up at them, waiting for some explanation. Finally, Mr. Schue gave a deep breath and said, "Kurt, I don't know how to say this, but…your father had a heart attack. He's in the hospital."

Kurt watched them in shock, so sure he could actually  _hear_  his world shattering. "Is…is he okay?"

Mr. Schue looked at Ms. Pillsbury. She sighed, "We don't know. There was a costumer there, thankfully, but all we know is that the doctors are working on him." She looked at Kurt with her large eyes and continued, "So, do you, um, want to go wait for him—"

"Of course I do," he said immediately, "I'll drive over right now—"

"Kurt," Ms. Pillsbury interrupted, "I don't think you driving is a good idea right now."

"I'm fine. And I can't leave my car here," the teenager replied, pulling out his keys.

Mr. Schue put his hands up, "How about I drive you over in your car and Emma, you can follow in yours?" Emma nodded and looked at Kurt.

Kurt looked down at his keys in his hands for a moment before handing them over to his teacher. "Don't scratch my baby. She was a birthday gift…from my dad," he added the last bit quietly as if he was afraid to jinx his dad's health by even talking about him.

It didn't take long to get to his car and soon enough they were on the highway, safely making their way over to the hospital. Kurt wanted to urge Mr. Schue on to drive faster because going the speed limit seemed way too slow and they kept getting passed by a few vehicles along the way. Kurt wanted to scream and yell at Mr. Schue to do  _something_  but give him those concerned looks and asking if he was okay every five seconds. He wanted to go back in time and take back what he had done earlier in the day when he last saw his dad.

But Kurt just remained neutral on the outside. He wasn't going to show any weakness, not to the guy who sent him to the principal's office just a week ago and not to the woman whose shoes he threw up on the year before. He wasn't going to show weakness to anyone.

Finally they made it to the hospital. Mr. Schue handed back Kurt's keys and Kurt shoved them into his pocket as they waited for a receptionist to tell them where his dad was. She gave him the room number but warned, "The doctors are working on him now so you have to wait outside for them to tell you before you can go in." Kurt wanted to protest but he nodded. Mr. Schue rested his hand on Kurt's shoulder causing Kurt to jolt. While his dad occasionally touched his shoulder, he had gotten used to no one giving any attempt at a comforting touch. His teacher seemed to know that and backed off.

Kurt wasn't sure if that was a relief or not.

—

"If you need to stay home from school, we'll understand. And we'll make sure all your teachers know so they won't be hard on you about homework," Will said. Kurt nodded, still watching his dad.

"Kurt…is there anything else we can do?" Emma asked quietly.

Kurt bit on his lip and looked down in thought. Then the thought he used to have in situations like this came to his head and he couldn't stop himself from lifting his head and saying, "Tell Noah."

Mr. Schue looked hesitant so Kurt went on, "I don't know if he'll even care but…he deserves to know that the man who was more of a father than his own bastard of a dad ever could be is…is here."

The two adults looked at each other and back at Kurt. "Okay," Mr. Schue said. "We'll tell him if he's still at school or call him if he's not. Anything else you need?"

Kurt shook his head, "No, I'll be fine." They didn't seem to believe him but they also couldn't stay at the hospital all day. With a promise to call them if he needed them, Kurt was finally alone with his dad again.

He didn't do much more than just watch his dad breathe and hold his hand, begging for even the tiniest movement to indicate that everything would be okay, for the slightest bit of warmth to come from a body that used to provide so much love and care. But before Kurt knew it a nurse was kindly telling him he had to leave, it was already past visiting the hours, the day completely gone. Kurt blinked in shock but got up, nodding his head at her and leaving the hospital grounds.

That's when he realized what would happen now: he'd go to an empty house to make a meal for one and do his homework and then try to sleep. He had no mom, he had no best friend, and now no dad. He didn't even have a  _dog_  to keep him company; hell, he wouldn't have minded dealing with his cat allergies as long as it meant that he wasn't alone in that house.

When he got home, he stared at the kitchen for a while. He knew he needed to and  _should_  eat, but he had absolutely no appetite, so he turned off the light and went to the living room to work on his homework. But the same lack of desire happened again and he soon left for the basement to start getting ready for bed. But, yet again, moisturizing and exfoliating seemed pointless. Even wearing normal pajamas seemed stupid when he could just wear a T-shirt and sweats.

Without even thinking about it, he started heading for his dad's room. Seconds later the room smelled of his mom's old perfume from her vanity and Kurt was wrapped up on his dad's bed, curled up into a ball. With the memories of his parents around him, he could finally rest easy.

—

"If this is about the vending machine, I totally didn't do anything, it just gave me all that free shit out of nowhere, I didn't kick it," Puck said as soon as he sat down in front of Ms. Pillsbury and Mr. Schue.

"Um…no, it has nothing to do with that," Mr. Schue said, his brow furrowed.

"Oh…so, what is it?"

Emma cleared her throat and softly said, "Burt Hummel is in the hospital in a coma recovering from a heart attack. Kurt wanted us to tell you."

Puck stared at them, the news taking a few moments to sink in. The guy he always saw as invincible was lying in a hospital bed and all because he didn't listen to Kurt and eating right and exercising. And what did Puck do to help Kurt? He laughed with Burt, teased his best friend about his insistence.

He had helped kill Burt Hummel.

"Puck?" Emma asked quietly, Puck's head snapping back up. "Are you okay?"

"What? I'm fine," Puck said immediately. "I mean, that sucks for Burt but…" he cleared his throat and put his backpack back over a shoulder, standing up, "I'm fine." With that he quickly walked out the door, and hand running through his Mohawk.

He walked out the school doors, not caring about skipping. He just needed to drive and forget about what was going on, even if his thoughts wouldn't stop spinning around his head.

—

Kurt knew he could've easily stayed home and been excused from his classes. He could've just gone to the hospital all day and everyone would've accepted that. But out of all the things he knew, he knew that if he stayed home and avoided people, he'd feel even weaker. Hummels didn't back down, and he sure as hell wasn't backing down and avoiding the world even if he wanted to.

So he went to school. He didn't have any homework to turn in, but the teachers just gave him pitying looks and said it was okay. He hated those looks; he had gotten them all the time after his mom passed away. But he didn't fight it off. It took all of his energy to just be at school; he wasn't going to waste any of it telling people off.

At his last class of the day, math, his frustrations continued to mount. He was awful at math, so just being in the regular math level for sophomores, Algebra 2, was a struggle for him. Mrs. Wilson kept giving them more and more word problems and he couldn't keep anything straight, the numbers dancing around his head and getting jumbled until his pencil, which was between his thumb and pointer finger and his pinky and ring finger, broke in his hand.

Mrs. Wilson frowned but then gave him a kind smile. She walked over to his desk and took his worksheet and quietly said, "Go on and leave a few minutes early, okay?" Kurt hesitated; leaving early seemed like giving up, but having to try to find the slope of  _y_  in his state was having disastrous results.

"Thank you," he whispered. She smiled again and patted his hand and went back to her desk. Kurt quickly packed his bag and went out into the hallway, ignoring the stares of his classmates. He knew they knew what was going on, so it wasn't like they were trying to figure out what was wrong; they were just judging the freak who could become an orphan any day now. No need to give them any notice.

Since he just had a few minutes left anyways, he went straight for the choir room. Normally he would play the piano for a bit, just any little melodies that he remembered from his lessons, but this time he just sat down and looked at the floor a few feet away from him. It was scuffed from various shoes, but he could tell that it used to be bright and shiny in a former life.

Not too long after he sat down, the rest of the club started coming in. He didn't look up at them, but Tina stood in front of him and he knew she was waiting for him to stand up for a hug. He didn't fight off the hug but he definitely didn't embrace back. Instead he gave small nods to the people who walked past, his eyes darting down as Puck came in, looking guilty and shell-shocked. It was nice to know that Puck still at least felt some care and sympathy for his surrogate father even if he didn't care about Kurt anymore.

The next events were, just like the rest of the day, a blur to Kurt. Santana and Brittany offering support, Finn yelling at him for not telling him, Finn apologizing…whether Finn was trying to be like Puck used to be to him by touching his shoulder or was just trying to get his attention, Kurt didn't know, but he immediately shook his finger at him to get him to take it away. He didn't want all of this physical affection from people. He just wanted his dad to squeeze his hand back like how he used to…how Noah used to.

He perked up a bit when Mercedes said she was going to sing to him, even though he would have been perfectly content with just a hug and a  _it's going to be okay_. Her voice was always so soothing and amazing, he knew it could help him feel better. But then she said it was about God and he felt that annoyance he always felt about religion creep at the back of his neck yet again (Puck frowned when she said it was about God; obviously their friendship wasn't on that level of intimacy to know about Kurt's religious views).

As he watched her sing her heart out, he almost felt a little bad. She loved God so much and was channeling all of that in her song yet Kurt couldn't like anything about the performance except her voice. And he wasn't going to hide that from her because then he might just get more Jesus tributes sent his way and that wasn't fair.

When she finished, he wiped his eyes and clapped his hands quietly. "Thank you, Mercedes. Your voice is stunning," Kurt said Mercedes, Quinn, and Tina sat back down, "…but I don't believe in God."

"Wait, what?" Tina asked as she walked by him, her eyebrows knitted in confusion. Quinn sat next to him, also confused (she had never met an actual  _atheist_ ) and Artie was glad to have an ally in Kurt with his own beliefs (he briefly thought back on when Rachel was dating Puck and how the religion thing made Kurt so upset and it suddenly made a lot more sense).

Kurt felt defensive at their incredulous looks, "You've all stated your beliefs, I'm just stating mine. I think God is kind of like Santa Claus for adults. Otherwise, God is kind of a jerk, isn't he?" His voice became quieter and more intense as he explained, "He makes me gay and then has his followers walk around saying that it's something that I  _chose_ , as if someone would  _choose_  to be mocked every single day of their life. He gives me a best fr—" Kurt cut himself off; he was  _not_  going to talk about Noah like that anymore. "And…and right now I don't want a 'Heavenly Father'; I want my real one back."

"But, Kurt, how do you know for sure? You can't prove that there's no God," Mercedes said.

"You can't  _prove_  that there's a magical teapot floating around the dark side of the moon with an evil dwarf in it that reads romance novels and shoots lightning out of its boobs, but it seems unlikely, doesn't it?" Kurt rambled.

"We shouldn't be talking about this; it's not  _right,_ " Quinn said harshly, throwing a glare at Kurt. Kurt felt her glare sting; he really wanted his friends to support him during this time, but apparently all he was going to get was a sermon.

"I'm sorry, Quinn," he said, not really feeling sorry as he stood up to face them. "You all can believe whatever you want to, but I can't believe something I don't. I appreciate your thoughts, but I don't want your prayers." He left the room quietly, refusing to stay in a place where he was going to be judged on yet another part of him that Western society found "wrong". Why did he let himself think he had friends with the Glee club? He learned months ago that he was supposed to walk this planet alone.

—

Puck watched Kurt go, anger coursing in his veins (that was easier to deal with than the guilt weighing in his heart when Kurt almost talked about him). Kurt definitely didn't deserve the Glee club, his supposed friends, attacking him. "You guys are assholes," Puck declared as he sprang out of his chair. "Way to kick a guy when he's down." With a roll of his eyes, he left the choir room; it wasn't like they were going to do anything important in class.

He walked down the hall, eventually seeing Kurt walking in front of him. He slowed; it would be easy to catch up to him and hug him and beg for forgiveness. But Kurt didn't deserve someone as crappy as him in his life, especially not now when his life was getting him down. It was why he hadn't tried apologizing to him months ago when it would've been easier to give forgiveness, when less scuffs had covered their once brilliant friendship.

While he didn't run up to him, Puck  _did_  follow Kurt down the halls. Nothing out of the ordinary happened until two figures popped in front of Puck, blocking his vision. Azimio and Karofsky. And if Puck wasn't mistaken, there were slushies in their hands and they were intensely focused on Kurt.

Puck ran up and got them by the collars of their jackets, pulling them back and pushing them into some lockers as Kurt turned the corner.

"Puckerman, what the hell is your problem?" Azimio spat out in fury.

"I could ask the same to you," Puck spat right back, pushing his finger into Azimio's broad chest. "The kid's dad's in the hospital, the whole school knows it, and you guys think it's cool to attack him with cherry slushies?"

"It's just a slushie, it's not like we're beating him up," Karofsky scoffed.

"Bull shit, everyone knows that Kurt values his clothes as much as he values his body not being beaten," Puck growled, pushing them harder into the lockers. "Now I don't give a damn what you think, but you are  _not_  allowed to fuck with him with this shit going on. If I see you two goons do  _anything_  to him, you'll find yourselves the same color as that drink." His words weren't that threatening, but the menace and anger behind them caused the bullies to nod in agreement.

"Good," Puck said coolly, taking his hands off them. "You can go now," he said in a dismissive tone, waiting for them to walk away from view.

—

Kurt knew that Sue cared about all of her Cheerios even if he didn't show it and endangered their lives with her daring routines. He just never expected that sympathy to extend to him after he left the team.

Of course, she was mainly using him as a scapegoat, as yet another way to get Mr. Schue in trouble. But he was good enough at reading people to know that the look in her eyes meant she really didn't like what was going on in Glee club because of what she felt, not just because it was Glee club. And being promised that he wouldn't have to hear people judging him in what was supposed to be his safe space, well, that made him the happiest he had felt all week.

He had wanted an ally, and now he finally had one.

—

"What are you doing?"

"Praying," Finn said immediately, standing up and watching a doubtful Puck walk to his locker. "I pray before I eat now, is that a problem?" Puck raised an eyebrow and started putting on his deodorant. The silence was unnerving to Finn so he finally asked "…You're not going to tell anyone about this, are you?"

"No, it's cool," Puck said. "I pray after I eat, normally, it's a Jew thing, that's all."

"Really?" Finn asked.

"Yeah, if you have a meal with bread, you pray after you eat; Wikipedia it," Puck replied.

"I guess…I guess that's kind of cool," Finn said.

"I pray about a lot of things, though," Puck said. He looked around to make sure no one was nearby before saying, "Don't tell anyone, I know it makes me a total wuss, but I go to temple with my Nana almost every Saturday. I just don't talk about religion much because, well, Kurt doesn't—" He swallowed roughly, looking down at his feet.

"Uh…you okay, Puck?" Finn asked. He wasn't too good with this emotion stuff and he really had no idea how to deal with the whole Puck and Kurt thing.

Puck looked back at him and blinked, his face suddenly neutral. "Yeah, dude. I was just…I pray for his dad, you know. Kurt doesn't need to know since I know he wouldn't appreciate it especially from me—" He shook his head, "Kurt shouldn't grow up without a dad." And Puck didn't want to have to say goodbye to Burt. Feeling uneasy talking about Kurt, he changed subjects by asking Finn, "What do you pray for?"

"Oh…you know, same stuff," Finn said, looking a bit shell shocked and guilty.

Puck nodded and grabbed his helmet. "You burned your grilled cheese," he commented as he closed his locker and walked away.

—

Kurt hated to admit it, but Rachel  _did_  have a stunning voice. Stunning enough that Kurt didn't even want to interrupt her. So he imagined himself singing the song to his dad until she was finished, finally entering his dad's hospital room. "What's going on here?" If this was some sort of musical theatre tribute he wanted to be a part of it, after all, but he had a feeling that it wasn't.

"We're just praying for your dad," Rachel said, and Kurt clenched his fists.

"I didn't ask you to do this," he said hoarsely, pissed that his friends went behind his back and did exactly what he had asked them  _not_  to do.

"Honey, I know you're upset about what's happening, but friends help you out even when you don't ask," Carole said sweetly, pissing off Kurt even more (and reminding him that Puck was definitely not his friend because he had done nothing to help him at all despite all hopes he had that he would).

Thankfully the Sikh he contacted came in and he got them all to leave, not even feeling bad about kicking out Carole. She was just losing a boyfriend; he was losing a  _dad_. And if Carole offered judgment like the rest of his "friends" did based off religion, he really didn't need her there.

"We just wanted to do something," Rachel said quietly as they left. Kurt ignored her, instead looking at Mercedes, betrayed. Of all the people in the room, he thought Mercedes would be the last one to go behind his back like this.

But, like he always was when it came to friends, he was wrong.

—

The sheet music was already distributed to the instrumentalists; his outfit was perfect; the song itself was the perfect choice. Yet Kurt wasn't sure he could really go through with it.

He bit his lip as Mr. Schue and the Glee club congratulated Finn on being quarterback again, trying to go through the list of options he had. Okay, he could go up there and just sing, no speech at all, but then the song would be out of context. He could give the speech as is, but then he'd be exposing himself more than he ever did in front of all of them, and he was still hurt from the attacks against him for not believing in God and then getting Figgins to stop them from speaking about religion (oh yeah, he was obviously happy, Santana).

The only other option was to give a shorter version of the speech, and it seemed like he'd have to go with that option. So he screwed his courage to the sticking point and got up.

"Mr. Schue, if I may?" Kurt asked. The teacher nodded and Kurt stood next to him and faced the class, "I wanted to than everyone for your kind emails and queries about my dad. But for your information, his condition remains the same." He swallowed roughly and turned to his teacher, "I need to express myself so, with your permission Mr. Schue, I've prepare a number for the occasion."

"Of course," Mr. Schue said, sitting down where Kurt was sitting earlier.

Kurt looked out at the club and then back down at his feet. He had never experienced stage fright when singing for his classmates, always maintaining an air of indifference and  _I'm better than you_. This was different; this was him, this was all the hurt and vulnerability he had ever felt channeled into one performance, and it scared him more than throwing a high F ever could.

But, slowly and surely, he started, "On the day of my mom's funeral, when they were lowering her body into the ground, I was crying." He almost laughed quietly at that, it seemed so obvious and such a stupid way to start, "I mean, that was it; it was the last time I was ever going to see her. And I remember I looked up at my dad and I…I just wanted him to say something, just something to make me feel like my whole world wasn't over, and he just took my hand and squeezed it. And just knowing that those hands were there to take care of me…that was enough."

He looked up, intending on starting the song, but then something caught his eyes, a familiar flash of brown and he was entranced. For the first time since May, he was looking Noah Puckerman right in the eye, and a small gasp left his mouth. Suddenly the rest of the story fell out of his lips as his own teary, blue-green eyes bore into Puck's brown ones.

"Dad had to go and talk to the other people at the funeral. I stayed by his side for a while but eventually I went back outside to the cemetery. I didn't want to stay inside and greet people I barely knew when I could spend some more time with my mom. And I didn't realize it, but my best friend, he…he followed me outside," Kurt rushed out, only breaking eye contact with Noah to blink. "We both stood there for a while and then he said he was sorry about what had happened and then," Kurt's lip trembled a bit but he managed to swallow down the emotion enough to continue, "He grabbed my hand. H-he had never done it before. Not until that day."

Finally Kurt broke eye contact, looking at the ceiling as he bit his lip to try to calm himself down. He needed to stop thinking of Puck back then, because they weren't friends and they never would be friends again. Both sets of hands he held that day weren't reaching out for him anymore, and he had to focus his energies on getting his dad's to reach back.

His friendship with Noah was dead, but his father wasn't. Not yet.

The rest of the classroom sat in a stunned silence as Kurt calmed himself down, either averting their gaze from Kurt in his fragile state or stealing secretive glances at Puck. Puck, who finally let go of his neutral mask, looking down and to the side, his eyes shining with unshed tears. Of course he remembered everything from the funeral, from the burial of Mama Kate to the handhold that started the whole touchy-feely part of his friendship with Kurt, but how Kurt told it, how he stared right into his fucking  _soul,_  nothing could hurt worse than that.

He wanted nothing more than to run up to Kurt and hug him and comfort him about everything, to apologize for being an asshole, to tell him that it was okay and to scratch his head just like he liked it until Kurt was purring with contentment. But he was frozen to his seat, his jaw was tight to fight off his own tears, and he wasn't worthy of forgiveness, so why fight it?

Eventually Kurt took a deep breath and lowered his head to look at the wall in front of him. "This is for my dad," he said quietly. After a hesitating moment, the band started playing and Kurt sang a slowed down version of "I Want to Hold Your Hand" from  _Across the Universe_ , tears straining at his eyes as his thoughts wandered to memories of happier times. Memories of Burt joining him and Noah for tea, of Burt trying to teach Noah and his own son how to ride a bike, of Burt finding him and Noah holding hands in front of his mom's tombstone.

He didn't even realize that most everyone else in the club was crying at this point, nor did he realize that Puck was reminiscing and fighting off tears right along with him.

When class finished, Kurt was the first to leave, a bit embarrassed about exposing himself so much. Puck was the last to leave, his guilt escalating more and more as each Glee club member gave him some sort of  _dude-get-over-yourself-and-help-your-best-friend_  look.

—

Everything Miss Pillsbury told Finn made his whole world crash down. True, it was cool to know that he wasn't responsible for Sam getting injured, but he wasn't sure he believed in God anymore. He knew it was stupid believing just because of marks made by a George Foreman, but it just made him feel special, like he wasn't just some Lima Loser because  _God_  cared about him. God had made a special connection with him of all people and that meant that he wasn't meaningless, he was a  _somebody_. Or so he thought.

Without meaning to, he ended up watching Kurt through some shelves in the library. He considered asking Kurt for help with what he was feeling when he noticed the tears down his face and the guilt he had felt when he talked to Puck in the locker room came back. He had three wishes he could've spent on anything—well, he  _thought_  he had three wishes or prayers or whatever—and what did he use them on? Football, boobs, and football. He felt like such a jerkass, especially since he had said that he thought of Burt and Kurt as his family.  _God_  he was such a jerk.

A few minutes into his pity party, movement from the shelves parallel to where Kurt was sitting caught his eye. Finn looked over and, after a few moments, realized who was there.

It was Puck.

Puck, who kept staying away from Kurt as if he didn't care about him, was watching Kurt like he was the only thing that mattered to him, like he wanted to go up to him and hug him tightly (Finn could recognize that look from last year especially). But why didn't he? Kurt could surely use it, and Puck had to miss Burt, too; he was almost crying in the choir room yesterday after Kurt's speech and song. Obviously he could use those hugs he seemed to like so much, right?

But Puck just stayed behind the shelf until the bell ring. Kurt jolted up and wiped at his face in an attempt to get rid of the red blotches he had from crying before briskly walking from the library. After a few moments Puck left, too, his eyes watching his feet as he slowly shuffled off to Glee club practice.

Finn waited for Puck to leave the library before finally setting off for the choir room himself. If only he had those wishes to find out how to fix Puck and Kurt's friendship.

—

Mercedes felt awful about how they all had attacked Kurt about religion. Well, she felt like she had really just debated while the other attacked, but, either way, she felt bad. She felt worse that this was creating a wall in their friendship that had started growing so strong. If she was his new best friend to make up for Puck's absence, she was doing a fucking crappy job.

So she invited him to church.

She knew it sounded like a stupid thing to do, but after she thought about it, it seemed like the best thing to do. It made no difference to her if Kurt believed in God or Allah or even worshiped Satan (though being a Satanist  _and_  gay seemed like much too easy of a target for Fred Phelps and the like). All that mattered to her was that he believed in  _something_  so his life wouldn't fall apart whenever something bad happened, so he had something that was always a comfort.

And Mercedes told Kurt that in so many words and notes at church. And for the first time since the heart attack, Kurt smiled at her and hugged her, his fabulous hat blending right in with the old ladies scattered throughout the congregation.

She was no Puck (and apparently Puck wasn't being much of a Puck anymore, letting his boy almost cry in front of Glee club and not doing anything to stop it), but she felt like she had actually done some best friend duty right.

—

Kurt placed the flowers someone had sent up by the hospital window. The streetlights blocked out the stars' light, but the moon was full and bright, a bit of an orange tint to it. He had been told multiple different meanings behind it: it could mean just a Harvest Moon to signal the time to reap crops and prepare for winter, for instance, or it was a Blood Moon and it meant that bad things were to come.

Kurt only believed it turned that color because of pollution in the atmosphere. That's what his science classes told him, after all, and he trusted science more than silly myths.

He sighed and turned back to his dad. Grabbing his hand again softly, Kurt felt a tickle in his throat. The tickle kept intensifying until he had to turn his head away and cough into his sleeve, feeling how dry his throat was. When did he last have a drink? Probably when he left Mercedes' church almost five hours ago.

Frowning at himself, he told his dad, "I'm going to get a drink real quick; I'll be back soon." Shaking his head, he walked out and found the water cooler. As he hydrated his dry throat, he didn't notice a figure race into Burt's room.

He did, however, notice a voice talking to his dad when he reached the door. Kurt flattened himself against the wall and listened in.

"…I never really thought I'd see you in a hospital bed, Burt. Especially not when I was still in high school. You always seemed so strong, y'know?"

Kurt's eyes widened as he realized whom the person was: Puck. He walked inside softly and stayed by the curtain and away from the door. Puck was facing away from him, sitting in the seat opposite of where Kurt usual sat. He looked down at Burt, his head hung low.

"I'm so sorry," Puck continued softly. "God, I don't even know what I'm sorry for past, you know, everything. I'm so sorry I let Kurt down, that I let you down, that I would joke with you about Kurt's health regulations instead of taking it seriously, I'm sorry I fucked everything up…" He ran a hand through his Mohawk and sighed, "Kurt was the best thing in my life and I just…he kept saying all the wrong things, you know he can do that at times, he's not perfect. And I kept getting more and more frustrated and we all know that I push people away or whatever, just like Kurt. So I just…I just ruined the best relationship in my life because I couldn't handle everything."

Puck leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. "You know, I kind of thought Kurt would just try to fix things and refuse to let me stop being his friend. But I shouldn't have relied on that, I really shouldn't've." He ran his hands up his face and Mohawk again, his hands laying against the back of his neck, "And all this week, I wanted to just run up to him and work this out and try to be a comfort, but, let's face it, Burt, Kurt may not be perfect, but he's as damn close to it as a person can be. And he doesn't deserve someone like me who keeps messing everything up whenever he gets afraid or upset or anything. I've tried to help keep the assholes away, and, even though I know he doesn't believe, I've prayed for you and for him; I just wanted to do  _something_  and I knew those things would actually do him good, unlike, well, me."

Puck let his hands drop back to his knees as he leaned in closer to Burt. "Look, Burt, I don't know what you believe in religion-wise…in fact, I don't know much about you as a person at all. I don't know your favorite color, your favorite food, even your favorite John Wayne movie." Noah left out a small laugh under his breath, "I really don't know you at all, do I?" He swallowed roughly and continued, "But I know Kurt doesn't believe in God and why should he when he basically has, like, Mufasa for a father? Okay, bad example considering…"

He looked down at Burt's hand, slowly moving his hand up to hold his. "Look, Burt, you can't…you can't go, okay?" Puck whispered, tears heavy in his voice. "Kurt needs you… _I_ need you. Fuck, I know that I need to be out of Kurt's life for his own damn good, but I need you here, Burt. I need to know that someone is watching Kurt and that someone is there to hug him when he's sad or just pat him on the shoulder, Burt, it's just—" Puck cut himself off and stood up.

"It's not  _fair_ ," Puck said, a few tears leaving his eyes. "Kurt can't be an orphan, Burt, and I can't lose another dad, Burt you can't do this to me, to Kurt, to the both of us. You can't do this to Sara, god damn it!" Puck turned his face up to the ceiling, "God, you need to fucking  _fix_ this you can't let him go, you can't let him…" his voice got suddenly quiet as he said, "die."

Puck stared at the ceiling for a while longer, long enough for Kurt to finally take his eyes off of him and look up as well to see if there really was something up there. Then Puck jerked his hand back from Burt's hand and turned around, walking right past Kurt without even seeing him. Kurt waited a few moments, as if expecting Puck to turn around and come back and say something directly to him. But he didn't.

Kurt slowly moved back to his dad's side, noticing that his dad's hospital gown was unsnapped on one shoulder. Well, that wasn't right. He snapped it back into place, smiling a bit at the familiar routine. "You never could dress yourself," Kurt said before sitting down. "So, Noah was just here—I don't know why I'm telling you this, if you hear anything I say you obviously heard what he had to say." Kurt sighed softly, "I honestly don't know what to do, Dad. He hurt me, but I hurt him. And I want a real apology…"

He trailed off when he noticed a tiny pattern on his blanket that almost looked like a cross. When he blinked, it disappeared, just a trick of his eyes, but he slowly started talking about his day. "Mercedes took me to church today. It's funny, but when the choir was singing, this memory flashed into my head. Do you remember our first Friday Night Dinner after Mom died? You tried to make a chicken. I guess you wanted me to feel like there was something still normal. You put it on the table, and you cut into it, and it was raw." Kurt laughed at the memory. "And we both looked at each other for a second, and cracked up before we remembered that we weren't supposed to yet.

"I'm sorry about the other day, Dad. I should have let those guys pray for you. It wasn't about me. It was about you, and…it was nice," he apologized, softly squeezing Burt's hand out of what was now a reflex, a hope that he would show so movement. "I don't believe in God, Dad. But I believe in you and I believe in us. You kind of our my Mufasa, you know? Noah got that right…" Kurt felt tears pricking at his eyes as he went on, "You and me, that's what's sacred to me. You, me, and Noah was—or maybe is, I don't know anymore…

"And I'm so sorry for yelling at you about it, for taking everything out on you. You're the most important person in my life, Dad, whether Noah's there or not. And I am…I'm so sorry that I never got to tell you that." Kurt finally started full out sobbing, his face contorting as he weakly kept his dad's hand in his.

It was just a flutter, just the tiniest movement, something Kurt could barely feel. He froze in his sobs. He had to be imagining things, right? There was no way that his dad was waking up, right? He was going crazy. That was it; he was just going crazy from grief. He had to accept the fact that he was going to be an orphan.

…But he  _had_  to look.

He lifted his head, "Dad?" He didn't say anything, his eyes didn't move, but his fingers moved again, stronger, firmer motions. "Nurse Nancy!" Kurt called out, standing up all at once, Burt's hand firmly holding onto Kurt's now. His dad was coming back to him. "Dad, I'm right here," Kurt said in tearful joy, "I'm not going anywhere."

—

Kurt was smiling as he walked into Glee club the next day, his life finally back on track. He was exhausted from staying at the hospital past visiting hours as his dad slowly woke up and the doctors ran tests and Kurt caught him up on what had happened over the past six days. But he had never felt happier in his life.

Standing in front of his friends, he happily announced to everyone as they waited for Mr. Schue, "My dad woke up yesterday." They all congratulated him, Tina and Mercedes even jumping up to hug him.

But when Mr. Schue entered the room, the joyous air disappeared. "Congratulations, Kurt," he said, "But I have some bad news, guys." Kurt sat down, curious as to what it was. Mr. Schue sat down with a sigh and said, "Puckerman's in juvie."

"It was only a matter of time," Tina said as Kurt gaped.

"What did he do?" Quinn asked, shocked.

"He drove his mom's Volvo through the front of a convenience store and drove off with the ATM," Schue explained, the rest of the club laughing at the idea, irking Kurt to no end. Did no one see what a cry for help that was?

"When's he getting out?" Rachel asked.

"Unknown."

"That's it," Kurt snapped, standing up, "I am  _so_ tired of this; I've had  _enough_." He huffed and fixed his bag on his shoulder, walking towards the door.

"Kurt, where are you going?" Mercedes asked.

Without turning around, Kurt responded, "I'm getting my best friend back."


	20. Through the Dividing Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt finally confronts Puck about what happened between them. It should be pretty easy to make him talk now that he can't move, seeing as he's in Juvie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewrite of "Duets" and "Rocky Horror Glee Show"

"Excuse me, I'm here to see detainee Noah Puckerman."

The woman at the juvenile detention center looked up to find a teenage boy (even though she expected a girl by the pitch of the voice) with porcelain skin and dark, brown hair. "…And you would be…?"

"Kurt Hummel, the boy's best friend," he explained.

"Right…well, we have to wait until visiting hours before you can talk to him."

"And that would be when?"

"Three o'clock."

Kurt turned to look at the clock behind him: twelve thirty. He turned back to the woman, "Okay, I guess I'll make myself comfortable."

As he started to leave to sit on one of the chairs across from her desk, the lady pointed out, "There are restaurants and stores around you can check out, you know. There's not much to do here, it's not like we even have magazines."

Kurt smiled, "Oh, I've been waiting months to speak to him; I can manage a few more hours."

—

"Puckerman!" Puck looked up at the guard in front of him blankly. The guard continued, "You have a visitor." That confused him; he knew his mom was working and Sara wouldn't have been able to get there. But he stood up and followed the guy out to the visiting area. Since he had only been in for a bit more than twelve hours, the guy explained, he could only talk through the visitors there, behind glass and through the phone device; he would have to wait for sometime over a month before he'd be allowed to talk to them in person. It definitely made for good dramatic material, but Puck found it ridiculous; some jackasses attacked him and pulled his nipple ring out last night yet  _he_  wasn't allowed to talk to people in person? Bullshit.

He sat down where the guard led him and felt his eyes widen in shock at who was sitting at the other end of the glass. "Kurt," he said softly. Kurt gestured to the phone and Puck quickly grabbed it and put it to his ear, not even caring about whatever their stupid fight was about; he just wanted and needed to hear a comforting voice.

Except the voice wasn't exactly "comforting".

"Noah, you should be happy I've had a few hours to calm down my temper since I'm sure if I yelled at you right now your reputation would be completely shattered, and we all know how important your reputation is to you," Kurt started. "But I digress. The reason I'm here is to tell you that I'm really tired of this war we have going on and I think it's time we became best friends again. Oh, and, before you say anything else, I saw you at the hospital, you just didn't see me." By the time he said the last statement his voice was soft, his eyes looking at Puck earnestly.

"Oh," Puck said quietly. Kurt had seen his emotional break down in front of Burt. And Kurt wasn't mad that he hadn't seen him.

"You actually missed Dad waking up by about five minutes," Kurt informed him quietly.

"Seriously?" Puck asked, a mix of annoyance and relief and joy. "Man, I have the  _worst_  timing, don't I?"

"Maybe you should've tried stealing a watch instead of an ATM, then," Kurt joked, though his eyes flashed with anger.

Puck looked down, "Yeah…"

Kurt sighed, "Wait, one thing at a time. Let's start with our fight." He cleared his throat and softly told Puck, "I'm sorry about what I said and did during that time. I wasn't being supportive and I hadn't been that supportive for a while. The baby thing made me uncomfortable, but I should've been there to try to make you feel better instead of ignoring the issue. I was being stupid and I'm sorry."

He looked back up at Puck, "But you really hurt me, Noah, you hurt me so much. You yelled at me instead of trying to work things out, you ignored me, and you never even tried talking to me."

Puck nodded, "I know, Kurt. I was stupid. It's just…" He sighed, "It just bugged me that every time I tried talking to you, it seemed like you had more important things to do. I was so used to it just being the two of us as friends that seeing you go off made me a bit jealous."

At Kurt's look of confusion, Noah explained, "We were supposed to do everything together, including getting new friends and growing up and being successful. Yeah, I was sort of friends with the football guys, but that's not the same. It's always been the two of us, y'know? Like how I faked being bad at math so I could hopefully be in your class in elementary school, but then I did worse on the placement test than you so I was at the bottom and you were in the class ahead of me. It's stupid, I just kept on making adjustments to stay friends with you and I was starting to feel like you weren't willing to do anything like that for me…"

Kurt stared at Noah for a bit, his face unreadable. "I always thought it was weird you were in the bottom math class when you're actually fantastic at it now," Kurt said. "I never told anyone this, but," he leaned in and admitted in a whisper, "I cheated on that test off of Quinn in hopes that I'd be in the same level as you. When she noticed me looking she gave me a dirty look and put a folder up as a divider so I couldn't get the rest of the answers."

After a short silence, both boys started laughing at the new information. "It's like some messed up  _Gift of the Magi_ ," Kurt giggled.

" _Gift of the Math-I_ ," Puck corrected, causing Kurt to groan.

When they finally stopped laughing, Kurt told him, "Noah, just because I made new friends and branched out doesn't mean you weren't my top priority. Just because I go shopping with 'Cedes doesn't mean I don't want to watch a movie with you later. You're my best friend, present tense. There will always be time for you." He stretched an arm out to his side while his other arm held the phone. "To turn one of your quotes, there's enough Kurtasaurus for everyone," Kurt said, finishing with a cocky head nod a la Noah Puckerman.

Puck laughed, "Glad I'm a good influence on you." Then he sighed and softly added, "I'm sorry for what I said. And for…everything. The whole 'not talking to you about it' thing." Kurt prompted him to continue with an eyebrow raise, so he murmured, "After I realized that I should apologize to you, I figured I had messed up so many times already why would it matter? You deserve good friends, not me."

Kurt shook his head, "Noah…" pressing his hand against the glass separating them, he continued, "Noah, there's a musical called  _In the Heights_ —trust me, this applies to what we're talking about—and in the show, there's a song called 'Enough' where this mother is upset with her husband and daughter fighting after her daughter was hiding a secret. She sings, 'when you have a problem you come home, you don't go off and make matters worse on your own…as long as we're alive, you're never on your own.' That's our friendship, Noah, that's us; we're not alone as long as we're both alive. So we're both going to be mature about this and move past it and learn from it instead of dwelling on it. Do you understand?"

Slowly but surely Puck nodded in response, "Yeah, Kurt, I understand. Thank you." And, very softly, he added, "I love you."

"I love you, too," Kurt replied immediately. "Now onto the ATM that led you to wear this most unflattering shade of orange."

Puck rubbed the back of his neck, "After I talked to Burt, I just…I just needed to do  _something_. Everything felt like it was falling apart, y'know. I didn't have you, Burt was dying, I felt responsible for his sickness because I never took what you said about his health seriously, just joking around with him, so I just felt like I had ruined everything and I don't know, before I even knew it, I was driving through a convenience store in an attempt to do…something."

"Get what? Attention? Infamy? Away from everything? Help?"

"I guess…all of the above," Puck answered.

"But you'll never do it again?"

"Of course not," Puck said, "I don't need you killing me; I'm already afraid of what you'll do to me when your hands are in choking distance."

Kurt laughed softly, "It will be a quick choking, don't worry, then I'll let you go. But, on that note, when  _are_ you getting out?"

Puck shrugged, "I don't know, depends what the lawyers or counselors or something say, I don't really know who's in charge of it."

"Can you get out early for good behavior?"

"Maybe. I'll do my best to get out early; I think if I do community service I can get out earlier."

"That's great!" Kurt exclaimed, "Just volunteer to pick up trash on the highway and you'll be out in a few days."

Puck made a face. "I'll figure something out." He moved his spare hand to scratch his chest and accidentally bumped his now torn up nipple, causing him to wince loudly.

"Noah? Noah, what's wrong?"

"It's…it's nothing, Kurt," Puck said. But one look at Kurt's face made him sigh and explain, "When they brought me in last night, some guys attacked me and before the guards could take them off…they pulled my nipple ring out."

Kurt blinked repeatedly in shock. Finally he said, "…You're kidding, right?" At Puck's blank face his eyes widened even more, "That really happened? Did those guys get in trouble at all?"

Puck shrugged, "Maybe, I don't know. I was more concerned with seeing the doctor and getting bandaged up. And, you know, concerned that I no longer have a nipple ring and that I'm, y'know, fucking  _deformed_ , but whatever."

"Noah…deep breaths," Kurt said softly. Puck rolled his eyes but did so, calming down as Kurt watched him with wide eyes full of concern. "I can't believe they did that to you…you need to get out of here, and quickly." Kurt bit his lip in thought, wishing he knew how to help get him out and free.

Puck recognized that look. "Look, Kurt, I know you want to help, but there's also not much you can do because of the legal system. Just come see me time to time, that'd be nice, help me stay sane and stuff. Just like once a week or something."

"I will be here whenever I can," Kurt said firmly, "Every few days at the  _least_. I'll keep you updated on everything going on in everyone's lives, I'll do my best to get you caught up in schoolwork, and I'll definitely do all I can to help you get out of here sooner. Is there anything else I need to help you do?"

Noah thought over it and then smiled. "I just think you should say  _hi_  to Ma and Sara; I think they'll be glad to know that we're not fighting anymore."

Kurt smiled, "I'll gladly do that right before I go home."

Noah's smile turned into a frown. "Wait, home? You aren't staying at the Hudson's or something?"

"No," Kurt said, slightly confused as to why Puck was acting all worried all of a sudden. "I've been going to school, going to the hospital, and going home. I wouldn't want to stress other people out just for me."

Puck stared at him for a long time, utterly lost as to what to say. Finally he said, "Okay, the second thing you're going to do for me is stay with Ma and Sara."

"Wait, what? Noah, you're not even there, you can't be sure they'll let me—"

"Kurt, Ma would take any opportunity to take care of you and fatten you up, you know she'll think you've gotten too thin," Noah sighed.

"…I've just lost my baby fat; I think I look good," Kurt sniffed softly, pulling at his shirt.

Noah rolled his eyes, "Of course you look good, Kurt, but we're not arguing that. We're arguing that you're not staying alone in your house anymore, not until Burt is back." Kurt still looked like he wouldn't so Puck added, "I know you're probably up in Burt's room every night with the drawers to Mama Kate's dresser open so you can smell her perfume. I wouldn't be surprised if you wore one of Burt's flannel outfits in order to feel surrounded by him, too, and that's not going to help you."

The other boy paled and whispered, "How did you know that?"

With a shrug, Puck said, "You just get to know your best friend, funny enough, even when you haven't talked for months."

Kurt snorted softly and soon nodded. "Fine. Fine, I'll stay at your house as long as Mama Mae approves it."

"Good," Noah said with a smile. "And you know I'll ask her next time she visits if you asked to stay or not."

Kurt glared at his best friend, "Crafty." Then his face turned to a smile, "So, you totally missed it this summer…" And with that, the two boys started sharing stories over what the other had missed in their lives, conversation flowing as naturally as if they never had a fight.

—

Mae Puckerman whipped her head to the front door as the ring played its familiar two-tone pattern. "Who could that be?" she mumbled, not wanting to answer it. It was only six, yes, but she still had yet to someone who would let Sara stay with them for the night while she worked the graveyard shift and she still had to make dinner for Sara—Sara, who wasn't rushing to answer the door like usual since last time she answered the door a policeman was there to tell her that her brother was locked away. Mae herself was tempted not to answer for that very same reason, but she still pulled herself away from the list of phone numbers a friend had given her and slowly opened the door.

"…Mama Mae?" Kurt asked softly, afraid that she would reject him.

But the woman merely stared at him for a moment before bursting into a smile and calling back inside, "Sara, come down here!"

"Why?" she yelled back from her room.

Mae rolled her eyes and muttered to Kurt, "She's turned into such a teenager already and she's not even a  _real_  teenager." She turned back towards the stairs and yelled, "I have a surprise for you!" As the two started hearing movements upstairs, Mae brought Kurt inside, smiling widely yet again.

When Sara reached the bottom step she rolled her eyes and asked, "What is it, Ma?" She turned to her mother and then her jaw dropped and her eyes widened for a split second before her face shifted into the widest grin. "Kurt!" she called out, running over to him and attacking him with a hug, nearly knocking him off his feet. "I missed you so much!" Then she pulled away and whispered, "Does No know you're here?"

Kurt nodded, unable to stop himself from smiling around the Puckerman ladies, "Yes, he does. I went and talked to him today and everything's A-OK." He booped Sara on the nose, "Don't you worry, I knocked some sense into him."

"Good," Sara nodded, "Because he's been so  _stupid_  lately."

"Well, I wasn't the smartest over these past few months, either—"

"Of course you haven't been, you obviously haven't even been eating," Mae started dramatically, grabbing at his cheek, "Look how little there is here,  _look!_ " She let go of his cheek as he winced, shaking her head. "You are  _way_  too thin,  _bubbellah_. I know you've been stressed out from your father but—"

"Wait, you know about his heart attack?"

Mae gave him a  _bitch please_  look, "Honey, this is Lima. What do you expect?" She shrugged, "I wanted to take Sara soon since I heard he woke up from the coma, but lack of time, no babysitter…"

Kurt gave a small smile; it warmed his heart to know that they still cared about him after all of these months, that their Father's Day gift wasn't just them going through the motions. "That's no problem, I can take Sara tonight if you want. I'm sure Dad would love you see you," he added to the girl who squealed in excitement.

"I'm sure that would be great, but I still need to find someone who'll stay with her for the night," Mae said apologetically, "I don't want to leave her alone here while I work and I can't change out of the graveyard shift until next week at the earliest—"

"I can stay with her," Kurt said a bit louder than intended. "Sorry," he mumbled after Mae raised an eyebrow at him, "It's actually something I told Noah I'd do."

"Watch after Sara?"

"…Stay here until my dad gets out," Kurt corrected softly. "I've been staying alone and he said I needed to ask if I could stay with you guys until they let my dad out, it should only be a week at the most. I even brought my stuff with me—I stopped by my house after I saw Noah."

Mae just looked at him and shook her head, "You  _schmeggegie_!" Kurt winced as she lightly hit the back of his head, not from the hit, but knowing that she only used Yiddish in that tone when she was insulting someone and didn't want them to know. "You were staying alone this whole time? We have a guest bedroom! I don't care if you and Noah were trained to kill each other at sight, you can always come here, no matter what problem, this is a home for you!"

"Ma!" Sara whined as Kurt whined, "Mama Mae", feeling like he was about as old as Sara was.

She simply rolled her eyes, "Do you  _really_  think I'd say no to you? Of  _course_  you can stay! I can clean up the guest room while you take Sara to the hospital." She smiled and started walking to the stairs.

He tried to hold back from saying it but he couldn't stop himself from saying, "I'd rather sleep in Noah's room…if that's okay." With a shrug in an attempt to be nonchalant he explained, "I've only slept in his room before; it's kind of my home away from home, you know? And don't worry, I can deal with whatever mess is up there. You can just focus on getting ready for work and I'll get Sara dinner and everything; it's the least I can do."

Mae smiled sweetly and went over to Kurt, hugging him tightly. "You don't need to do anything, sweetie." She squeezed him even tighter and closed her eyes, "Thank you, Kurt; I'm just so glad you're back."

—

Taking Sara to the hospital went better than Kurt anticipated. He had warned her to be careful since he might have a lot of wires attached to him still, but she just gave him a nod and a smile, her eyes saying that she knew all of that, that she wasn't a baby anymore. Kurt had no idea seeing Sara get older would hurt so much.

Burt was thankfully awake when they got into his room. He grinned at both of them, the shock of seeing Sara not even showing in his face as she hugged him with a yell of, "Papa Burt!"

"How's my little girl, huh?" he asked her, leading her to launch into a rant about school and her friends. As she chattered on, Burt raised an eyebrow at Kurt as if to ask,  _all is mended?_ Kurt nodded and Burt smiled and clapped him on the shoulder before turning back to Sara.

"But then Noah ran Ma's car into the 7/11 so we have a rental car while it's getting repaired  _and_  he's in jail," Sara ended triumphantly after such a long explanation of what she had been up to.

For a moment Kurt was afraid that Burt would have yet another heart attack from the shock, but Kurt just said, "Breathe, Dad, we don't need you in here any longer," just a fraction of pain clear in the tone of his voice, and Burt immediately calmed down.

"Fine," he mumbled, "But I'm kicking his ass when I see him next."

"If I don't beat you to it," Kurt shot back.

The rest of the visit was pretty tame: Kurt finding out more information about when his dad could come home, setting up some doctor's appointments that Kurt kept track of in his iPhone's calendar system, and all three of them talking about various subjects. Finally Sara's stomach was growling for food and Kurt couldn't really stop his from begging for food, either. With a hug and a kiss on a forehead each from Burt, the two left the hospital.

After a long, emotional day, Kurt was too exhausted to fathom going to a sit down restaurant, not even Breadstix. So he drove them to the nearest Sonic, craving some chili cheese tator tots like none other, diet be damned. The carhop brought out their meals and the two dug in, barely saying anything in between bites of delicious, greasy food. Kurt even got them each a chocolate shake with a promise from Sara that she wouldn't tell Mama Mae about how badly they ate.

"Please, you know she'll just be overjoyed since she wants to fatten you up," Sara said, popping her dessert's cherry in her mouth.

"Mama Mae's right; you  _are_  a teenager," he said with a slight shake of his head. She just grinned in response, some whipped cream on her lips.

The two went home and Sara put herself to bed; meanwhile, Kurt had another "Sunrise, Sunset" moment because, seriously, what happened to the little girl who wanted stories read to her? Now she was reading by herself for thirty minutes before bed. Did Puck's Juvie time do this or was she just getting to that age of pseudo-teenagerdom?

"I'm way too tired to think about this," Kurt mumbled, rubbing at his eyes as he finished up his moisturizing routine, too damn tired to even think about homework, either. After checking the locks and turning off the lights just like he knew Puck did, he crawled into Puck's bed. Despite not having Noah there to snuggle into, Kurt fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

—

"So we're doing this duets project," Kurt eagerly explained to Noah. "And whoever wins gets to eat at Breadstix for  _free_." He made a face, "Okay, not the best prize, but still,  _winning_!"

"I'm sure you and Mercedes will have a great time at Breadstix," Puck laughed into the phone. "Let me guess: you guys are doing the Brandy and Whitney Houston version of 'Impossible' from  _Cinderella_."

Kurt looked down slightly, "Actually, we're not doing it together."

"Wait, why not?"

"I asked the new guy," Kurt said with a shrug, "And Santana is already recruiting her for it. Apparently she loves Breadstix enough to work with her despite apparently hating her."

Puck scrunched up his eyebrows, "It's like 'The Boy Is Mine' all over again, but now it's about Breadstix." Then the other information Kurt said finally hit him, "Who's the new guy? And by new guy do you just mean new guy or  _new guy_?"

"Undetermined," Kurt said, "But his name is Sam. I personally can't believe anyone with hair bottle-blonde hair can be straight, but he also doesn't know  _Singin' in the Rain,_ so…"

"What? Dude, even  _I_ know  _Singin' in the Rain_  and I'm only, like, half-gay."

"Kudos on being able to admit it, I'm very proud of you, but that doesn't count because you grew up with me."

"…Touché," Puck said with a nod.

"So the jury's still out on that one," Kurt sighed, putting his chin on his hand, "But he's kind of dorky, but sweet and a jock. 'My name's Sam, Sam I Am, and I do not like green eggs and ham,' was his introduction he gave us." He closed his eyes and softly admitted, "I really hope Sam Evans is gay."

The quiet, broken tone distracted Puck long enough to not realize what Kurt had said—he sounded so lonely, so hurt. But then the name  _Sam Evans_  clicked and he jolted, "Wait, like the former quarterback? The guy who got injured?  _That_  Sam Evans?"

Kurt opened his eyes and pulled back from his hand, looking at Noah strangely, "Yes, that Sam Evans. I know it's a common name but I don't know of any other Sam Evanses."

Puck stared at Kurt blankly for a while through the dividing glass. While he didn't make a big deal about the balls comment Puck had made, most teenage guys did when confronted like that. Did that mean he was or wasn't gay? He definitely wasn't like Kurt, but he could still be gay, couldn't he? "I guess he could be," Puck agreed, not sure how he completely agreed.

—

_"I couldn't have asked for a better duet partner."_

Kurt kept hearing those words in his head, a taunt of what could have been, a sting worse than a slushie to the face. Sam was willing to do the song with him, he was confused as to why Kurt backed out—hell, he didn't even mind Kurt seeing him naked. But Kurt did it, and the slushie he received after he left the locker room that day was all the proof he needed that he did the right thing. He couldn't bring himself to bring someone into the line of fire with him just because he thought he was cute. Sam didn't deserve it, especially not when he was already the new kid  _and_  in Glee club.

He was sure Sam didn't mean to hurt him when he said that. Kurt also knew that Sam loved and enjoyed "Le Jazz Hot"—as anyone in his or her right mind would—and Kurt really had nothing against Sam. But the words still stung.

The song choice didn't even make sense. Sam and Quinn barely knew each other—unless they really  _were_  long-lost twins and didn't just look like it—so why were they singing a song about not only being in love but being in love with their best friend? At least Quinn shot some weird looks at Kurt that he assumed was an apology for what was happening (and she also seemed a bit uncomfortable with the song choice).

Kurt just shouldn't have been so shocked that he didn't win.

—

"So I guess our love interests have instead gone off with each other," Kurt finished.

Puck furrowed his brow, "Can we call that a  _Gift of the Magi_  moment, too?"

"I don't think so," Kurt frowned. "So are you not upset?"

"…No, not really," Puck said after thinking on it. "She should do what makes her happy; she had a hard year last year, and if Sam makes her happy…And I always have Santana if I wanna boost my rep or get some," he shrugged. "Are you upset?"

Kurt sighed, "I'll get over it; at least it didn't get to Finn-size proportion."

Puck gave Kurt a half-smile, wishing he could at least clap his shoulder. Stupid dividing glass or whatever its proper name was. He hated the security system. But he would have to find other ways to cheer him up, "How did your duet with Rachel go?"

"Great," Kurt admitted, "I hate saying it, but she can definitely sing, and her as Barbra and me and Judy was definitely a good choice. Our outfits even reflected their performance of it."

A small trace of a smile started forming on Kurt's face, and Puck just wanted to push it further so it would grow fully. "I'm assuming you helped in that department."

Kurt raised an eyebrow, "We weren't fighting long enough for you to forget things like  _that_  about me, Noah Puckerman." Then he smiled for real, Puck smiling back immediately.

—

Karofsky had to be legitimately insane. That was it; there was no other explanation.

Of course Kurt should've expected for the bullying to come back once word got out that his dad was out of the hospital. And he was prepared for slushies and name calling and all the things he had gotten used to at the beginning of the year, he didn't care about that. What he cared about was that Dave Karofsky was a fucking  _maniac_  and Kurt did not use either of those words lightly.

He seemed to go out of his way to get to Kurt now, more locker checks, banging the lockers next to him so hard his ears hurt, harassing him, seeking him out in a crowd to call him names…it seemed no different from how the others treated him, but not only did he do it more often—as if he was seeking Kurt out instead of just doing it when he passed him in the halls like Azimio and the other jocks—something about the intensity behind it scared Kurt out of his mind.

One day he was walking to Glee club in an empty hallway, a bit more stressed than normal because his dad was returning to work. So he was staring at his phone as if he expected it to ring, not even seeing Karofsky swoop in and shove him against the lockers. The blow against his back was hard enough to knock the wind out of him. He had never been more frightened in his life; not only was he pinned against the lockers by his top tormentor, but he was having trouble getting air back into his lungs which caused him to panic and loose even less oxygen as anxiety raked through his body.

"Geez, Hummel, lighten up," Karofsky sneered, "I'm only here to say  _hi_."

Kurt still couldn't breathe. Normally he knew that when the wind was knocked out of you it took a few moments for breathing to return to normal, but now he was only certain he was about to die in the middle of a hallway, no one but Dave Karofsky there to witness it.

Dave smirked at Kurt and pulled his fist back and started sending it forward. Kurt turned his head and closed his eyes tightly, feeling tears spring into his eyes, preparing himself for the punch. Instead of coming in contact with his flesh, however, the punch landed on the locker next to him, the resulting clang throbbing in his eardrums painfully. But finally Dave muttered  _faggot freak_  and went on his way, the sound of his shoes making the only sound in the hallway.

After a little while Kurt could finally breathe again, shame prickling at the back of his neck for panicking so much. He slowly moved his fingers as if he was afraid he had lost all control over his body, before slowly opening his eyes. "Snap out of it, Hummel," he muttered to himself, wiping at his eyes. This sort of thing happened all the time now, why did he still freak out? He frowned at himself and started walking briskly to Glee club.

Mr. Schue started the lesson by announcing they were doing a musical and not just any musical but  _Rocky Horror_. Kurt found himself doubting Mr. Schue's teaching ideas yet again, but soon they were deciding parts, the lead being offered to none other than  _him_.

Now Kurt should've been ecstatic; after a year of pleading for solos he finally got a  _lead_. But why  _this_  lead? His voice wasn't a Frank-n-Furter voice, he couldn't sing those low notes. And Mr. Schue was just offering him the part of the lead freak because he obviously saw Kurt as the main freak in the Glee club, the Token Homosexual, and that wasn't fair. He wasn't a predatory gay man, why did everyone think that? Finn could've told him to stop and he stopped with Sam, he  _wasn't_  a bad person, he was just like them, he wanted love and someone to hold, he just wanted that person to be a guy. He wasn't a  _faggot freak_ , he was just a person with needs and wants and a big heart and now to top it off he was asked to play the most predatory bisexual in the history of theatre and cinema and draw more attention to himself and make people feel  _more_  awkward around him.

"No," Kurt said automatically. His teacher seemed shocked by his refusal of the lead, so he had to tell him something. He made up an excuse about not being comfortable in lingerie and heels, that would work.

"Why, because that look's totally last season?" Santana remarked.

Kurt grit his teeth to stop himself from saying anything, sitting up straight and tall in his chair. Santana was just a bitch and he had to remember that. It didn't mean everyone felt that way…right?

—

"Just hold off on cutting your hair when you get out of here because I want to touch it. I haven't seen it this long all the way across for years!" Kurt remarked with a laugh. It was funny how even with glass dividing them Kurt felt happier and more comfortable here than he did anywhere else at the moment.

"Yeah, yeah, we'll see; I'm definitely going back to the 'Hawk."

Kurt made a disgusted face, "Ugh, why?"

"Chicks dig it," Puck said simply.

"They really don't," Kurt said.

"Dude, the amount of wrongness you just said is ridiculous, so let's move onto something else; how's  _Rocky_  going?" Puck asked.

"Good, I guess," Kurt shrugged. "I can't believe we're really allowed to do it, but we're doing it. Santana and Quinn are both rocking Magenta and Mercedes is a fabulous, sassy Frank. It's going well," Kurt reiterated, not bringing up how seeing Sam in gold shorts was quite nice, too.

"I still think you would've be an  _excellent_  Frank," Puck said with a shake of his head.

"There's no way I could hit those notes!"

Puck raised his eyebrows, "Do you not remember 'Give Up the Funk'? You know Frank's part doesn't even go that low. Remember? We saw the movie together after all."

"Don't remind me," Kurt said, shivering at the memory of the showing they went to the Halloween of the year before. Kurt had thought it would be fun, but with all the sexual innuendo people yelled at the screen and the acts the "Virgins" such as him and Puck had to do, Puck ended up having a great time and Kurt was bright red by the end of it. "I'll never be able to eat a banana again because of what they made me do."

"Isn't it nice to know you don't have a gag reflex, though?" Puck asked cheekily.

Kurt glared, "I hate you so much."

"No, you don't," Puck sing-songed back.

"…I definitely hate that you're right about that," Kurt mumbled. "I still think you would've made a great Frank, though, or at least an Eddie. It's weird having Mrs. Pillsbury's boyfriend there. Really…creepy." He shivered again.

"If I was anything I'd be the lips and you'd be Frank."

"Nah, the girl who plays Magenta sings 'Science Fiction Double Feature' and its reprise in the stage show under the name of  _Trixie the Usherette_ , so Santana and Quinn have that job," Kurt said. "Plus I like using my British accent and being creepy and singing 'Time Warp', the best song in the whole show, obviously."

Puck could tell by the way that Kurt wasn't looking him in the eyes that something else was going on with him. But before he could question him any further, Kurt looked down at his phone and groaned, "Sorry, I have to go; we have practice tonight." He stood up, the connecting phone in his hand while his other touched the glass. "Love you."

Noah lined his hand up with Kurt's on his side of the glass, "Love you, too."

As Kurt left, Noah watched with curious eyes. Something was going on with Kurt and Kurt was being too proud to tell him what. The only thing that was clear was that he had to get out of Juvie to help him and  _now,_ and that meant finding a service project, and preferably one that didn't involve picking up trash on the highway.

Maybe hanging out with Artie could count as community service…


	21. Kurt's Major Appliance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt's bullying situation keeps getting worse and worse, but meeting a new friend might just help him. Meanwhile, Puck tries to help get Artie laid for community service.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewrite of "Never Been Kissed"

"I take it we have a lot of sweater trains to look forward to this season," Tina said with her typical, sweet smile whenever she talked about Kurt's clothes.

Kurt immediately relaxed, glad that the person he heard walking up from behind him wasn't Karofsky. He smiled his normal, proud smile at receiving a compliment on his clothes and continued walking with her. Before he could even comment on it, however, his whole center of gravity was thrown off and he was banging against the lockers next to him, just barely managing to get his hands up to stop his face from getting hit as well.

"You okay?" Tina asked. She expected him to yell after Karofsky, much like he did during the last school year when Karofsky had attacked them for dressing like Gaga.

But instead he watched Karofsky go and quietly whispered in a defeated voice, "Yeah…I'm fine." It took Tina a few moments to realize what emotion was actually on Kurt's face, something she hadn't seen on there before.

He was afraid.

—

Kurt hated the mash up challenge. Like, seriously, it was the worst challenge he could ever be given. Not only was it completely unoriginal, but without Noah there he felt completely unwelcome on the boys' team. The year before wasn't a success with the whole Vitamin D fiasco, but at least he had Noah to actually make him feel wanted, who actually listened to his ideas and made the others respect him. But now? Now none of them would listen to him since none of them were really his friend. Artie seemed to hate everyone ever since his break up with Tina; Mike was always friendly but he never talked enough for Kurt to actually feel a strong friendship; Sam was sweet and dopey, but ever since he said those words about Quinn as his duet partner, Kurt felt a slight stabbing pain whenever he saw him; and then there was Finn.

He had spent hours upon hours with that boy over the summer on "family" dates, dinners and lunches and even game nights. And while they always beat their parents at Trivial Pursuit (Finn's sports knowledge combined with Kurt's pop culture knowledge was nearly unbeatable) and _Scene It!_  (Finn saved the day with an answer about the movie  _Planes, Trains, and Automobiles_ , something Kurt had never seen before), they never actually bonded. In fact, when they had cheered over winning that game of  _Scene It!_  where Finn answered the final question, they got near a hug and Finn had been awkward the rest of the night. The fact of the matter was that Finn still wasn't comfortable around Kurt so Kurt couldn't be comfortable around him; he couldn't be comfortable around a guy who was like a lesser version of Karofsky, afraid that the little freak was trying to touch his junk (when Kurt had barely even touched his  _own_ junk, let alone  _thought_  of touching anyone else's).

But as unwelcome as he was on the boys' team, he wasn't super comfortable on the girls', either, not that Mr. Schue cared either way. Quinn had seemed to forgotten about any friendship that she had with him (and with Mercedes for that matter) now that she had a Cheerios uniform and the hottest guy in school willing to do whatever she wanted. Brittany never hated him, of course, but she wasn't a close friend and hadn't been since they were both very young; now she was just kind of there, not inviting but not unwelcoming. Then there was Santana who had to look right at him when she made the gay joke earlier in the Glee club meeting, the girl who never failed to try to tear him apart for his sexuality. Of course he had Mercedes and Tina, but he felt himself drawing away from them two of them, and now that Tina had seen what he was going through he felt like pulling away even more.

So, there he was, a man with no real team. He wasn't man enough to be accepted by all the guys and he wasn't feminine enough to be allowed on the girls' team.

It was going to be one long ass week.

—

Getting shoved into a set of lockers once in a day was bad enough. But twice? That was enough to finally wake up the fire in one Kurt Hummel.

"What is your problem?" He yelled after Karofsky.

The larger boy immediately turned around, "You talkin' back to me?" He started coming back, adding, "You want a piece of The Fury?"

"The Fury?"

"That's what I named my fist."

"Well, with  _that_ level of creativity, you could easily become an assistant manager at a rendering plant," Kurt scoffed, knowing that his tormenter wouldn't realize what it meant.

"…I don't know what that is," Dave said, anger pulsing in every word while Kurt held back a smirk, "But if I find out that it's bad, The Fury's going to find you." With that he pushed Kurt back into the lockers and went on his way.

As Kurt caught his breath and looked up at the ceiling to stop any tears from forming, he didn't notice Mr. Schue walk up to him. "Hey," he said softly, resisting the urge to place a hand on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt looked up and Mr. Schue looked at him with concern. He knew that straight out comforting Kurt like he did with his other students wouldn't work; he had to be sneakier with him.

"Do you…do you want some water?"

Kurt raised a perfectly shaped brow at him, but he nodded and followed his teacher to his office. He sat down primly, his demeanor back into place as Mr. Schuester filled up a small paper cup with water.

"Is there anything that I can do?" Mr. Schue asked as he handed Kurt the cup.

Kurt sighed and took the glass. "No," he said, "This is my hill to climb alone." He raised the cup to his lips and sipped some water down silently.

"Do you know when Noah gets back?"

Kurt looked down at his cup. It wasn't a weird question since they had all heard him yell that he was going to be friends with Noah again, but he couldn't help but feel that Mr. Schue was just asking since he expected Kurt to use him for protection. "I don't know," he answered quietly. Then he looked up at his teacher, eyes narrowed, "But I'm not burdening him with this; it has nothing to do with him."

"Wouldn't he want to know that his best friend is struggling?" The teen merely shrugged in reply, refusing to acknowledge that with an answer. "Look, Kurt, I'm not going to pretend that I understand your relationship with Noah and I'm not going to pretend that I'm close to either of you," Kurt snorted and nodded his head, aggravating Mr. Schuester a bit but he continued on, "But as your friend, he deserves to know that you're hurting."

"I'm not hurting," Kurt immediately corrected. "I'm furious, but I'm not  _hurting_. I'm not  _helpless_ , Mr. Schue, and I don't need someone bigger and stronger to take care of me. I'm not a little girl."

"I never said you were, Kurt, or that you needed protection; I just think that closing yourself off isn't going to help things," Mr. Schue explained. Kurt still looked doubtful, avoiding his teacher's eyes by looking at the cup in his hand, looking small (and helpless, though Mr. Schue would never tell him that) despite his superior attitude firmly attached.

Mr. Schue never expected to see Kurt like this but, then again, he never expected to see Kurt without Puck and that happened, too. It was just strange since Kurt, while catty a lot of the time, always had an air of happiness around him. Then they came back from summer break and Will was sure he had never seen someone his age seem so cold and distant. Then the mask broke while his father was in the hospital to reveal a very hurt and lonely human being. It was the first time Mr. Schue had been able to connect with Kurt since he was finally allowing himself to be vulnerable with someone besides Noah.

For a while after, his mask stayed off; he laughed, he smiled, he was  _happy_ , and Mr. Schue could only assume Kurt had made up with Puck. Then, all at once, Kurt was closed off again, giving attitude in class and avoiding his friends and shying from the spotlight he used to crave with every fiber of his body. And, finally, Will found out why Kurt was isolating himself, a wedge driving between him and his classmates in the form of a student terrorizing him.

He had never really noticed Kurt getting bullied before. It had taken months after the dumpster dives went out of style before Will realized that the boys surrounding Kurt by the trash weren't trying to be friends with Kurt. He had felt so  _stupid_ for not realizing it, but he figured there was nothing he could do at that point but be ready to stop any other bullying. But except for the incident Finn and Noah handled with Azimio and Karofsky, he hadn't noticed anything happen to Kurt.

The kids were good at being out of eyeshot. If they weren't doing such a horrible thing, Mr. Schue would have to commend them for hiding from teachers so well. And even though he knew Karofsky had done something to Kurt, he was walking away at that point and Will had no real proof. He couldn't report the kid if he had nothing to report, and he knew Kurt wouldn't turn him in, either.

"Can I be honest?" Mr. Schue finally asked. Kurt lifted his head and nodded, slightly interested in what Mr. Schue had to offer. "I think it's getting to you," he continued, Kurt frowning. "Lately you've been belligerent, angry, pushing people away—"

"Can I be honest with  _you_?" Kurt asked. As soon as Mr. Schue started his nod, Kurt said, "You, just like everyone else at this school, are too quick to let homophobia slide." And just because he was angry enough to say it, he added, "And your lesson plans are boring and repetitive. Boys versus girls? That doesn't challenge _any_  of us."

"You mean because I didn't let you join the girls like you wanted."

Kurt ignored that and stood up, gathering his messenger bag and heading towards the door, "To answer your question, yes, I am unhappy, and  _yes_ , being the only out gay kid at this school brings me down." He stood at the door to Mr. Schue's office and continued, "But, most of all, I'm not challenged in the least here."

Mr. Schue sighed and leaned back in his chair after Kurt left. Kurt  _was_ right about the not being challenged in school part; Will had to get the kids to fill out grade sheets and have it signed by their teachers once a month to make sure their grades were high enough to be in an extracurricular activity. Except for his math class, Kurt was in all honors and AP courses, acing every class available, and this was even when he was dealing with his father's hospitalization.

But as bad as he felt that Kurt wasn't challenged, he had no control over helping him get challenged in any of his classes; Kurt had even dropped Spanish to focus on just French, meaning Kurt only saw him in Glee club. But maybe, just maybe, he could make Glee club more enjoyable for the boy. But how?

Well, Kurt wanted to be on the girls' team, and while it made sense because he was closer to the girl than the boys who were in the club at the moment, song choice had to be a part of it, too. Kurt was definitely more of a "Halo" and "Walking on Sunshine" guy than a Bon Jovi and Usher guy. Kurt wanted to be on the girls' team because he could actually enjoy the music they did.

Mr. Schue knew just how to fix that.

—

Kurt was ecstatic at Mr. Schue's changes to the mash-up challenge. The songs they'd have to do would involve him  _having_  to sing lead, how could they not? And even if he wasn't with Noah, at least he was doing songs he liked.

He sat up the charts and started lecturing the boys on what they were going to do. "Now  _obviously_  for this melody to work I'll have to sing lead. And when you're singing Diana Ross, boas are a  _must_ ," he said, nearing the end.

"Isn't this lesson about opposites? I mean you in sequin gown and a boa is  _exactly_  what you'd expect?" Artie asked.

"Okay who said anything about a gown?" Kurt asked back. Why did everyone assume that just because he had a kilt and just because he was gay that he wanted to dress like a girl? And while Artie and he weren't best friends, especially not since he was close to Tina and they were broken up, Kurt didn't expect him to say something vaguely homophobic and attacking of him.

"If we're supposed to do opposites, I think we should emphasize the male aspect, like, suits and lower voices singing, that's all," Artie shrugged.

"So…basically you don't think I can help at all this week," Kurt said hostily.

Artie really was trying to think logically, it wasn't like he was mad at Kurt or anything. "Kurt, I just want us to win the contest. We were  _so_ going to win last year until we got busted for Vitamin D. And, really, come to think of it, you were the one who told them about it."

"I-I was just trying to even the playing field," Kurt said. He felt embarrassed and hurt that none of the other guys were fighting back to help him, but he shouldn't have been so surprised. None of them seemed to notice how Karofsky had been treating him, either, so why notice any other forms of bullying?

"How about you level the playing fields for something bigger. For something like, say, Sectionals," Artie suggested as Sam started playing a game on his phone, oblivious to the whole scene. "You can check out Dalton and tell us what their show choir is like there. We need to know how good these guys actually are."

Kurt looked around the room. Finn and Mike stared in shock at Artie while Sam didn't seem to even know what was going on. Of course he shouldn't have expected support of any kind from them, they weren't really friends, but it still hurt. Maybe he should just try to leave and go to the supposed Gay School and just never come back. At least not until Noah was there to be his friend; he really missed his hugs.

"…Fine," Kurt finally said, grabbing his stuff and leaving.

Finn and Mike made shocked, confused eye contact with each other. Kurt had proved there was a lot of anger and strength underneath his cold mask, yet he had given up after barely putting up a fight. What the hell just happened?

—

"Detainee Noah Puckerman."

Puck stood up and walked over to the desk that had called him. At it sat a woman who introduced himself as his parole officer. "Parole officer?" Puck asked, all he could focus on, not even bothering to remember her name, "I'm getting out of here?"

"That's what we're here to discuss," she said, filing some papers. "Now I've talked with the lawyers and you've already been convicted, but we'll let you out early with parole." She looked up at him, "So you have to do some community service to make up for time lost. The easiest option and the one most men choose is to help clean up the highway."

"Like picking up trash?" Puck asked, frowning as she nodded. "Um, I had a skin cancer scare last year? I think my mom would freak out if I worked in the sun all day."

The woman frowned back. "Okay. Well, your grades aren't too bad, you might be able to tutor inner city kids."

Puck shook his head, "Kids kind of depress me." He stared back at her, sensing her growing frustration but not willing to tell her that it just reminded him of the daughter he had to give up.

"Fine," she sighed. "You can volunteer at a retirement community. Or at a library. Or help the disabled—"

"Wait, really? I didn't think that really counted," Puck said with a smile. "I know a guy in a wheelchair, I can totally help him out and stuff."

"Good," she replied, relieved to be done working through those ideas. "Here are your community service forms," she explained as she handed over some pieces of paper, "You get those signed by the head of the program you do it through and you'll be all set. Okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," Puck replied, smiling widely. He figured he could just get Artie to sign them.

"Now sign and date here and write down what you're doing for your service," she added, handing him a pen and a clipboard.

Puck took it and immediately did as she said, writing the description  _Hanging out with a crip._  That counted, right? He handed the sheet back to her and stood up. "Thank you so much. I won't let you down, I promise."

"That's what I like to hear. You should be able to leave in a few hours."

Puck smiled again and left, going back to where the guards waited for him. Just a few more hours until he was free. He could shave his Mohawk back. He'd be able to see Kurt without a diving glass. He could hug him and see Burt and kiss Sara's forehead and get some freaking  _action_. And all he had to do was help Artie, and he'd do it by getting  _him_  laid, too.

It was almost too easy.

—

"It shouldn't be this easy to sneak into a private school," Kurt muttered to himself as he followed the crowd of boys. They all seemed eager about something, but he had no idea what it was. It was too late in the day for lunch and it was too early to be getting out of school. He peered at them over his incognito sunglasses, all of them running much too fast for him to stop them, talking loudly to each other. Eventually he took off his glass and finally found a friendly face who was actually keeping to himself instead of jabbering with people. Perfect.

"Excuse me," Kurt said as the boy stepped off the stairs—was he looking at a  _pocket watch_? "I have a question…I'm new here."

"My name's Blaine," the kid said right away, offering his hand.

Kurt was taken aback enough to smile. He was "new" but the guy just introduced himself instead of planning some way to humiliate him like they did at McKinley. It also helped that the guy was kind of cute, especially when he smiled. "I'm Kurt," he said after a moment, shaking Blaine's hand.

"So what exactly's going on?" Kurt asked.

"The Warblers! Every now and then they throw an impromptu performance in the senior commons; it tends to shut the school down for a while," Blaine explained.

That just confused Kurt more. "So wait…your Glee club here is cool?"

"The Warblers are like rock stars," Blaine said as if it was the most obvious fact in the world. At Kurt's disbelieving brows, Blaine grabbed his hand and said, "C'mon, I know a shortcut." Kurt didn't have time to say anything before he was yanked down a different hallway, no kids in sight.

The last hand Kurt had held was his dad's in the hospital. It was strange to realize that even though he had been seeing Noah, he hadn't been holding his hand or making any physical contact whatsoever. He hadn't held Noah's hand for  _half a year_. And suddenly there was a cute guy holding his hand and smiling at him that cute smile and being nice to him even though he was a supposedly new student. Maybe Santana was right; maybe they were all gay at Dalton.

No. He wasn't going to think like that. Blaine was just being nice. It had nothing to do with his sexuality. Holding his hand was just a way to make it easier for him to lead Kurt, not a way to flirt with him.

It just felt nice. That was the best way to describe it: nice. There was another boy besides his best friend who held his hand, and, really, that had to be a sign of being gay, right? Why else would he hold it as he lead Kurt through a pretty open hallway he couldn't get lost in? No straight guys at McKinley would be willing to do that.

Maybe Dalton was just  _that_ accepting. Maybe the little butterflies he felt at another guy holding his hand needed to be stopped before they burst out of their cocoons. Maybe he was over thinking everything.

But before Kurt knew it, Blaine opened a door to a full room of students and Kurt realized just how bad his jacket choice was. "I stick out like a sore thumb," he mumbled.

"Well, next time, don't forget your jacket, new kid; you'll fit right in," Blaine said, fixing Kurt's collar and giving him a wink. Kurt was totally caught and all he could do was smile at Blaine's smile; it was really infectious. He put his bag down on a chair to the side and said, "Now if you'll excuse me…" with that he walked away to join the boys starting back up vocals.

" _Before you met me, I was alright …_ " Blaine started to sing and it slowly dawned on Kurt that this Blaine guy was their lead singer (and, he realized, the guy wasn't really that tall; he was probably around how tall he was six months or so ago).

Of course Kurt recognized the song, but it was a completely different feel from the Katy Perry original. For one, it was sung by a guy and backed up by a chorus of men. For another, the audience was full of guys who loved the song and the performance; there was even a guy fist pumping in the corner. The guys at McKinley wouldn't be caught dead cheering on a performance of male singers performing Katy Perry. They wouldn't even cheer on the girls doing Katy Perry.

Then there was the fact that all the boys pointed at a guy at the chorus and no one cared. But Kurt couldn't focus on that because Blaine had pointed right at him. Blaine kept looking at him, making flirty and suggestive eye contact, and looking pointedly at him when he mentioned his  _skintight jeans_. He  _had_  to be flirting, so that meant he had to be gay…right? Or maybe he was just being lulled into a false feeling of safety just so they could punish him for spying.

…But they wouldn't. No. Right? No.

His mind kept going through that cycle for the rest of the performance but he still couldn't stop smiling at the whole performance. When the song ended, Kurt clapped enthusiastically, feeling like a '90s preteen girl at an *NSYNC concert. He was totally won over by the guys and he was their competition. They were so  _screwed_  at Sectionals.

He pulled out his phone and started backing up, planning on leaving to report back before Blaine punished him for spying. But before he could get too far, Blaine called out, "Hey, Kurt the Spy, come back!"

Kurt froze. He could easily leave, but Blaine was doing that cute smile thing again and no jerk who was trying to humiliate him would smile like that. Probably. Maybe.

After a few moments of hesitation he walked back over to Blaine, two guys now flanking his side. "Wes? David?" Blaine said to the boys, "Let's take the 'new kid' out for coffee."

—

"Before we go off to practice for mash ups by ourselves, I'd like to point out that Puck is finally back with us," Mr. Schue said, leading the kids in a round of applause while Puck flexed proudly, his guitar by his chair. Then the girls headed off to a different room since the boys had the choir room that day to practice. Mr. Schue went to check on them and Puck turned to the guys.

"Where's Kurt?"

They all looked at each other until finally Finn spoke up. "Um, he went to spy on one of our competitor schools, Dalton Academy. All boys," he explained.

"Oh," Puck said, disappointed. He pulled his baseball cap down further. As per Kurt's instructions he had kept it long so he could touch it, but he didn't want anyone else seeing it that long. Totally wouldn't support the Bad Ass rep that he was going to support even more now that he was out of jail. No need for anyone but Kurt to know how Juvie really treated him.

"Can't you text him or something?" Mike asked.

He didn't want to admit his mom had taken his cell phone away as extra punishment which was why he hadn't been able to talk to Kurt to even tell him he was out. "I left it at home," he mumbled. Maybe he could convince her to take a picture on his phone and he could send it when he got it back so Kurt could see it one last time. He wasn't putting off shaving it into a 'hawk one more day. "So, what's this supposed catch for the mash up challenge this year?"

Puck listened as they explained the genderswap and nodded as they gave him a part to sing. Besides that, he didn't really pay much attention. Instead he just thought about what all he needed to do to keep his rep up. Part one was getting a hot chick on his arm, and he was sure he could work Santana with what he had overheard some guys talking about in the cell next to his. Second, he had to make Artie seem cool/bad ass so hanging out with him for community service would be okay. Obviously the easiest way to do that would be to get a girl for him, but who? Third, to get the girls to go on a date, he needed to get money, and how was he going to do that? Well, he did have his guitar with him…

As soon as practice ended, Puck grabbed his guitar and headed out. He looked around until he found where Artie was. He caught up to him and grabbed the handles to his chair.

Artie tensed immediately. Obviously Puck knew what he had said to Kurt and was going to beat his ass Juvie style. "If you're going to throw me down the stairs, can I suggest the back ones? I know it's not my place to say, but there are less people there so my humiliation would be lessened," he said nervously as Puck continued to push him.

"What?" Puck asked, confused. "Dude, I don't do that stuff, like, I put Jacob in the dumpster, but that's the most I do," Puck said, putting his guitar on Artie's lap. "Anyways, you're my bro now since I need to do community service to stay out of jail."

"…I'm your community service," Artie repeated in disbelief. He didn't realize hanging out with him would really count as community service, but he believed Puck.

"Yes. So, for my community service, I'm getting you a date so you can get laid and stop moping about Tina—"

"Actually, I lost my virgini—"

"Don't interrupt," Puck chastised, "That's just rude, bro. Anyways, so first we need money for this date." He kicked the wheelchair button by the door and watched as it opened the double doors to the outside part of the cafeteria. He nodded with a smirk and kept pushing Artie out.

When he reached the center of the cafeteria, right by the stairs, Puck stopped Artie and pulled his guitar off Artie's lap. He opened the case and left it open on the stairs so people could donate. "Follow my lead," Puck said after a quick tuning of his guitar, sure that Artie would know the song. Sure enough, as soon as he started the intro, Artie smiled in recognition.

" _One love_ ," Puck sang, " _One heart, let's get together and feel alright_."

" _Hear the children crying_ ," Artie chimed in, Puck echoing with " _One love_."

They kept going, dollar upon dollar getting put in Puck's guitar case. Puck couldn't help but realize that he and Artie sounded really good together. Obviously New Directions went the wrong route with the rap song earlier in the year (though Quinn and Santana and definitely Kurt looked really hot in their "gangster" gear, as much as Puck wouldn't admit it to any of their faces) because the guys were loving the Marley and the simple performance much more than they loved the rapping and dance sequence.

"Dude, there has to be, like, sixty bucks in here," Puck said with a laugh when they finished. He looked over to Artie only to see him staring at Santana and Brittany talking over by the other part of the stairs. No, wait, he was just watching Brittany.

Puck smirked, "You like Brittany, huh?"

Artie turned to him and sighed. "She was into me and she took my virginity. And then I messed it up."

While it amazed him that he had missed something that big while being in Juvie, Puck didn't show it. "Well…let's make her yours. Follow my lead…again," Puck said going up the steps.

"Um, Puck?" Artie called out.

Puck turned around and saw him at the bottom of the steps. "Oh, right, wheelchair…" He looked back up and saw Santana and Brittany walking away. "Let's just find them later."

—

Kurt was dragged to a coffee house that was actually  _inside_  of the school. He had no idea a school could be that rich, but he was starting to think that Dalton really  _was_  a Gay Mecca.

"Spy Kid, what do you want?" Wes asked.

"Um…" Kurt made a grab for his pocket to get his wallet but Blaine shook his head and said, "It's on me."

They were buying his last meal, it seemed. Kurt looked between them and finally said, "Nonfat mocha."

"Awesome. Wanna save us a table?" Blaine asked, nodding his head to the open area. Kurt nodded and sat down gingerly at a table as he admired the wood trim on the walls. At least he'd die in a beautiful place.

Minutes later a drink was handed to him and he commented, "It's very civilized to invite me out for coffee before you beat me up for spying"

"We're not going to beat you up," Wes said.

"You were such a terrible spy we found it sort of…endearing," David explained.

"Which made me think that spying on us wasn't the reason you came," Blaine finished for them.

Kurt looked between them, still confused about how they were treating them. "Can I ask you guys a question?" he asked, figuring it was the best time. After they nodded, he asked, "Are you guys all gay?" His question was meant with laughter and his face fell. Of course they weren't gay. He was so  _stupid_  to even consider that idea.

"Uh, no. I mean, I am, but these two have girlfriends," Blaine explained, much to Kurt's delight. Blaine had  _totally_  been flirting earlier.

"This is not a gay school; we just have a zero tolerance harassment policy."

"Everyone gets treated the same no matter what they are. It's pretty simple," Wes added.

That's what finally got Kurt. He felt tears prick at his eyes and he hated himself for getting emotional in front of people he didn't even know. What the hell was wrong with him? Hummel's were supposed to be tough and strong and there he was, about to cry like a baby in front of three complete strangers.

But it just wasn't  _fair_. It wasn't fair that there was a school that was so perfect and amazing and Kurt was stuck at McKinley. It wasn't fair that he was without his best friend to tell him everything would be fine. It wasn't fair that he felt so completely and utterly alone when half a year earlier he felt like he had a whole group of friends.

"I take it you're having trouble at school," Blaine said quietly and Kurt looked up to find that Wes and David had left. That made it a bit easier, at least.

"I'm the only out person at my school," Kurt started slowly, his voice choked up with emotion and from tears that were so close to shedding, "And I've tried to stay strong about it, but there's this  _Neanderthal_ who's made it his life's mission to make my life a living hell. And it's just…" Kurt shook his head, no idea how to even explain anything.

"Don't you have anyone in your glee club to talk to?" Blaine asked softly.

Kurt shrugged, "We're all friends, I guess, but the guys in general feel uncomfortable around me, some of the girls are rude, and with this guy around, I've just felt so…detached from everyone. I don't want people to suffer because of me, we're low enough on the totem pole as it is."

He took a sip and continued explaining, "I have this friend, my best friend, this guy I've known my whole life. He's a big, tough guy and seems like a jerk so few people would mess with me past a few bits of bullying here or there, stuff I've gotten my whole life, like slushie facials, but I didn't really care.

"I found out last year Noah, my friend, gets a lot of crap for being my best friend, mainly just guys talking smack. And…and I was so upset. I don't want my life to ruin other people's lives. And then we got into this fight and we finally made up last month but," Kurt laughed again, "You're going to judge him, but he's in Juvie right now and I don't know when he's getting out. And I don't want to load him with my problems because it's not his fault and he has more things to work through right now."

Blaine, for his part, didn't even raise an eyebrow when Kurt talked about Noah being imprisoned. "Isn't that what friends are there for, though? You're not alone, Kurt, and you shouldn't make yourself alone."

"I don't want Noah to have all of this extra stress on his shoulders because of me. I just want to know how to deal with this jerk," Kurt sighed. "I'm just so  _frustrated_  since I don't know what to do."

"I know how you feel," Blaine responded. "I may not know all the details, but I know how you feel. I was taunted at my old school and it _really_  pissed me off. So I came here. And I'd love to tell you to enroll, but Dalton is expensive, I know that, and you may not be able to afford it. But my advice would be, if you're so frustrated, is to not let it stand, Kurt. Fight back and educate him."

"How?"

"Confront him, call him out!" Blaine explained. "I ran, Kurt, I didn't stand up. I let bullies chase me away and it is something I really, really regret. And I think you'll feel better about yourself if you stand up for yourself."

Kurt looked up from his cup and nodded slowly, a crooked smile growing on his face. "Thanks, Blaine."

"Of course," Blaine replied before taking a sip of his drink. He looked at Kurt and narrowed his eyes, not in an unfriendly way, just in a thoughtful way. "Do you want my number? That way you can call me, beep me, if you want to reach me."

Kurt burst out with laughter, "You did  _not_  just quote the  _Kim Possible_  theme song!"

Blaine couldn't stop himself from smiling at Kurt's infectious laugh. And just a minute later the two had exchanged contact information and Kurt was smiling behind his coffee. Maybe things were finally going to look up for him.

—

Puck was, thankfully, not grounded from dating and driving, so he picked up Artie in his mom's minivan (the replacement for the Volvo he had totaled). Earlier that day he and Artie had asked Santana and Brittany out on a date using the whole treating them rude technique he heard about in Juvie. The girls agreed, calling them cool even, and Artie declared Puck was a genius, which Puck just shrugged at with a grin. So, after he got his mom to shave his 'hawk in, Puck left for his bad ass session.

They arrived at Breadstix to find the girls waiting for them (he drove them around the block a few times to arrive late). They kept talking about various things throughout the date when Puck finally told them a completely fictionalized account of his time in Juvie.

"So I turned around and flexed my left pec," Puck did so, "And my right pec," he did so, "And said… _leggo my eggo_. And you know what he does?" Brittany and Artie leaned in while Santana watched eagerly, spellbound. "He leggo's my eggo!" He chuckles while they all  _oo_  and  _ah_ , Santana even saying he should be the nation's president.

He felt that if he was actually out and about he should stop by Kurt's house, but he didn't want to risk running into Burt first and having to talk to him. He couldn't call Kurt and, well, he decided he wanted to surprise Kurt in class the next day. So he guiltily sipped at his water as they waited for their check. Artie was totally rocking his date with Brittany, at least, so he was doing  _some_  good in the world.

As the waitress left the check, Puck started to pull his money out while Santana raised an eyebrow. "You're really going to pay? I thought you were a complete bad boy now."

Brittany looked at him with her usual expressionless face, but Artie looked at him with wide eyes. Puck looked between the three of them and, after a moment's thought, just smirked and said, "Go ahead then, girls; we'll meet you out front."

After Artie maneuvered himself out of the way Brittany could leave, the two boys watched the girls leave. "Damn, always nice to watch a Cheerio skirt leave," Puck commented.

"You're not seriously going to dine and dash, are you?" Artie asked in a whisper.

"No!" Puck said immediately. "I'm not going to risk getting caught and going back," he whispered quickly.

Artie looked confused at how scared Puck looked. "But I thought you loved it there?"

"…I did," Puck lied. "I just can't get laid there." Artie nodded as Puck pulled out the cash they earned in the cafeteria. Artie added a reasonable tip and the two left.

"C'mon, let's go before they come after us," Puck said once they got outside, quickly loading them up as if they were in a hurry.

When they drove away, Santana put a hand on Puck's thigh, "Bad boys are  _so_  hot."

Brittany did the same to Artie, "Totally hot."

Puck and Artie made eye contact in his rear view mirror and smirked. They were  _so_  getting laid.

—

Kurt was smiling as he walked around McKinley the next day. He had a cute guy's phone number stored on his iPhone and he actually felt like he could make it through the bullying. But if he thought he was happy then, he had no idea what Glee club would hold for him.

When he entered the choir room, Kurt froze by the door, Mercedes stopping next to him. "Noah?" He exclaimed in a question to the figure standing with Sam by the chairs. Puck turned to him and his hands flew to his mouth with a squeak as Puck called back  _Kurt_  with a wide smile.

Without a second thought, Kurt took off his messenger bag and shoved it into Mercedes' hands and took off running. He literally attacked Puck with a hug as he laughed. Puck hugged almost painfully tight, lifting Kurt up in the air and turning him around for extra effect, Kurt giggling even more as he burrowed his head in the crook of Puck's shoulder. When he put Kurt down, still hugging him, he laughed, "Oh my God, you're crying, aren't you?"

"Shut up, you are, too," Kurt retorted.

As the two kept on hugging, Sam watched with his head tilted to the side. He had never seen them doing anything like that before he joined Glee, but maybe Glee was like their safe place or something? It seemed like Kurt was flirting with him during the whole duets project, but maybe Finn was just telling him to stay away so he wouldn't get hurt by Puck for flirting with his ex-girlfriend and his current boyfriend.

"Is Puck Kurt's boyfriend?" Sam asked rather loudly. Puck and Kurt didn't noticed, but a few people laughed loudly and Santana glared and went to Schue's office to change for the mash up the girls were performing in Glee that day.

"No," Mercedes sighed, walking up to where Puck, Kurt, and Sam were. "They've just been best friends since, like, ever. Kind of like Brittany and Santana but even more obnoxious," she explained which, for whatever reason beyond Sam's knowledge made Tina laugh so hard she had to run into Schue's office to join Santana. "They were in a fight earlier this school year or else you would've noticed them all up in each other's business. Seems like they've made up, so get used to it; everyone has." She turned to Kurt and thrust the bag he had shoved into her hands back to him. "Kurt, I need to go change. Take your bag back," Mercedes said.

The two finally pulled away and Kurt took the bag back, "Thanks, 'Cedes."

"No problem." She turned to look at Puck up and down and said, "Guess we're friends again. Welcome back."

Puck smiled brightly, "Thanks, 'Cedes." Mercedes finally cracked a smile before turning around and leaving.

"Now that the opening hugs are done with," Kurt started, reaching into his bag for something, "I have another thing to do now that I can touch you again." Puck tilted his head in confusion and Sam backed away, sure that Kurt was going to, like, strip him right then and there by how Puck had twirled him around like they were in a romantic movie. Kurt pulled out a folder and dropped the bag again and then started repeatedly hitting Puck on the arm.

"Ow! Ow! Kurt, what the hell?"

"Don't," hit, "you," hit, "ever," hit, "do," hit, "something," hit, "so  _stupid_ ," hit, "ever again!"

"Ow! Shit, Kurt, I promise, I promise I won't...ow!" Puck said helplessly. Sam watched with wide eyes. He didn't know Puck that well, but he gave off this vibe of not being easily effected by or easily caring about what people did, but Kurt wasn't even hitting him that hard and he was bowing to his mercy.

"Good," Kurt said dropping the folder on his bag and hugging Puck again. "I'm glad you're back."

The two walked over to where the boys were going to watch the girls' performance and Sam kept watching with wide eyes. The other boys seemed very unaffected and Sam didn't understand how that was possible. These two guys were, like, all over each other and Finn didn't seem that okay with gay dudes before. But apparently they were just friends, that's what Mercedes had said, and everyone thought it was hilarious that he didn't know that. But, either way, Sam couldn't stop watching them.

"Why didn't you text me that you were back?" Kurt asked. "I can't believe no one told me, either. Or that you didn't come over yesterday."

"Well, um…" Puck looked around and, when he realized no one listening (Sam pretended to be very interested with his shoe laces), he explained, "Ma took my phone away; I can't call or text anyone until she says so. Not even on the house phone, unless someone calls first. And then I decided to surprise you today instead, so I didn't stop by yesterday. Plus I needed to start my community service so I had to take Artie on a date with Santana and Brittany."

"Mama Mae didn't ban you from dating?"

"I don't explain Ma's brain," Puck shrugged.

Kurt watched him carefully and then smiled, "Okay. You want to come over after school then? You have to brave my dad at some point after all."

Puck made a face, "Yeah, I guess I need to. But, definitely, I've missed your house. And you, of course."

"I'm sure," Kurt laughed, leaning his head on Puck's shoulder as Mr. Schue announced that the girls were ready.

During the performance, Kurt felt his phone vibrate. He pulled it out and saw a text message from Blaine that simply read  _courage_. He looked over at Puck only to see him too busy staring at the girls in leather. He smiled even wider realizing that with his best friend back, he really felt like he could do what Blaine said. As long as Noah was there, he could, as cheesy as it sounded, do anything.

Kurt placed his phone back in his pocket and grabbed Puck's hand. Puck immediately laced their fingers together. Things were finally in the right order.

—

Kurt was frozen, his hand over his lips and his eyes wild with fear.

He did it, he had done what Blaine suggested and gave Karofsky a piece of his mind. He was articulate and driven by an anger that seemed to frighten Karofsky for a second. It was perfect.

And then he kissed him.

Kurt shivered at the memory. Karofsky pressed his lips against his, mashing them together as he held his face. He even tried going for a second one that he, thankfully, didn't take when Kurt pushed him away.

Of course it was all making sense. Karofsky had been hassling Kurt more and more because he was afraid of his own sexuality, maybe even how he felt about Kurt. But Kurt couldn't feel the joy he thought he'd feel over a guy liking him when his first kiss with a boy was yanked away from him like some sort of...sort of…sort of…

Damn it, he couldn't even think of a good analogy his mind was so rattled.

He heard the door to the locker room open but didn't move, still frozen to where he stood. Even though he was facing the door and could easily be seen by any jocks who wanted to bully him, he didn't move.

"Kurt?" Kurt finally focused in on what was right in front of him, unable to believe his luck. There was Noah in all of his glory, looking at him with confusion that quickly morphed into concern. He sat down next to Kurt and immediately asked, "Kurt, what's wrong?"

Kurt put the hand over his mouth to the side of his eyes real quick. Nope, no tears. But Noah was Noah, of course he knew something was wrong from just looking at him.

"He kissed me," Kurt said quietly.

Puck raised an eyebrow. "Who?"

"Karofsky," Kurt said in a small voice, sitting down. Saying it made it so real, like it actually happened and wasn't just his imagination. "I came in here, I yelled at him for how he was treating me, and he kissed me." Kurt looked back up towards Puck as he started sitting down next to him, confusion still clear on his face.

Then Kurt looked straight ahead of him and explained everything to Noah. He explained how the bullying increased over the school year, how Karofsky seemed more adamant about it than any of the other jocks, how he met this nice guy named Blaine who gave him advice to confront Karofsky and how when he followed it, Karofsky grabbed his face and forced a kiss on him.

"I shouldn't be so upset," Kurt said in a monotone voice, still showing little emotion. "It's just a kiss, I'm being stupid—"

"No you're  _not_ ," Puck hissed and Kurt turned to look at him for the first time since he started explaining the past few months. Puck was _seething_ , looking even more upset than he had looked when Finn complained about having to take care of Quinn or when he attacked Finn for calling Kurt that word last spring. "You are  _not_  stupid, Kurt, you are not stupid for being upset. This guy, this guy has made your life hell and all because he can't handle his sexuality? Not cool. I still don't understand mine but I'm not forcing kisses on random dudes!"

"It's just a kiss—"

"Bullshit, Kurt, I know you think it's more than that," Puck said, standing up and moving to stand right in front of Kurt. "I know how important your first kiss was to you, how you wanted it to be special and romantic, and some closet case comes in and steals it from you—you have a right to be upset, Kurt. You have a right to  _cry_  about that, and I'm going to  _kill_  that fucker for  _everything_  he's done—"

"No!" Kurt shouted as Puck turned around. Puck turned back and Kurt stood up. "Noah, if you touch him, your parole could be violated and I—if I have to deal with not having you in school again, I-I'll…" Kurt trailed off and attacked Puck with a hug, holding him tightly. "I had half a year without you, No, I can't do that again," Kurt whispered. "Please don't hurt him."

Puck hugged Kurt back and finally relented, "Okay. I promise."

After a few moments of just hugging in silence, relishing the contact they hadn't had for so long, Kurt whispered, "My biggest tormentor took my first kiss." Puck felt a small tear on his shoulder and held Kurt tighter, ready to brave whatever storm Kurt threw his way.

—

Eventually Kurt texted Blaine the situation and Blaine replied he'd meet him at McKinley the next day to help him confront Karofsky again. Kurt texted Blaine his gratitude and told all of that to Puck in his basement as his iPhone played a playlist, a smile on his face the whole time. While Puck was happy for Kurt, he wasn't sure how he felt about this Blaine guy. He had inadvertently made Kurt lose his first male kiss after all. Plus he was probably some smarmy douchebag like all the private school guys were.

"And the best part? He's actually gay," Kurt finished and Puck felt his stomach sink. Why did it do that? He should've been ecstatic his best friend had a real chance, but it just made him upset. Like he was already cast aside again.

"Oh…that's great!" Puck said, phoning in enthusiasm for Kurt. Kurt smiled and Puck added, "Seems like Santana's quite okay with riding the Puckerman Express again."

Kurt was a bit put off at that. "Oh…um, great? But are you sure you want to get in a relationship with her again? That didn't work so well the last time," Kurt said.

"Who said it was a relationship?" Puck snorted. "For once  _I_  actually have control and  _she's_  not wearing the pants. I got her where I want her. Who knew serving back all the sass she gives people would be the key to that? And Artie's with Brittany, and it's kind of cool hanging out with him every now and then. And wherever Britt goes, Santana goes, so seeing him is an upside."

"Well, I'm glad you have another friend to run around with. As long as you always come back to me. Even if Santana shows up wearing nothing and holding a condom, we're keeping our Friday Night Friend Date," Kurt teased, recalling words Puck had told him about Finn the year before as he crawled onto Puck's lap.

"You're such a goof," Puck laughed, picking up a pillow and hitting Kurt on the back of the head softly.

"Stop it, you brute!" Kurt cried out, squirming away from the pillow attack that was ruining his hair until he fell off the bed. But before Puck could whoop in victory, Kurt reached for his ticklish spot on his stomach and mercilessly moved his fingers against it until Puck was breathlessly laying across the floor. Kurt turned on his side as Puck started getting his breath back, turning to face Kurt.

"Wasn't too hard to get back in the swing of things, huh?"

Kurt smiled back, "Apparently not. Here's to that."

But although the tickling and falling off of furniture happened before, something was different about it. Puck's arms wrapped easily around Kurt's waist as per usual, but his hands rested in the little dip of Kurt's lower back above his ass. It was dangerous territory for a platonic touch, about as dangerous as how close their lips were as they laid down on the floor, the docile tones of Dusty Springfield, one of Kurt's favorite female artists of the '60s, played on through his iPhone's speakers.

Puck looked into Kurt's eyes. They always made him think of that stupid song that  _Moulin Rouge_  stole from Elton, about how the guy couldn't remember if the chick's eyes were green or blue. It seemed insulting to Puck; like, how was that romantic, the dude didn't know this chick's eye color, but Kurt always swooned at the idea. Puck wondered if it was because Kurt's eyes weren't quite green and weren't quite blue, but still definitely the sweetest eyes out there.

Then he heard a familiar song start on the speakers and he sat up immediately, Kurt forced up with him because of his hold. " _Ow_ ," Kurt griped, pushing Puck's hands away from his waist. "What the heck, Noah?"

" _We had the best years of our lives, but you and I will never be the same_ ," Puck sang along to the song, looking at Kurt with excited disbelief. " _September took me by surprise and I was left to watch the seasons change_."

Kurt's eyes widened as he realized just when he had bought that song and just what it had meant to him and how the guy he associated with the song actually knew it. " _It's been so quiet since you've gone and everyday feels more like a year. Sometimes I wish I could move on, the memories would all just disappear_ ," Kurt sang, taking over the Avril part. They stared at each other as the song went on before bursting into laughter. Unknowingly, the two had bought the same song to mourn their friendship.

Some things really didn't change.

—

Puck had asked Kurt over and over if he was sure he didn't want him there when he and Blaine talked to Karofsky. He could help if the guy got handsy again or tried to beat him up. Kurt insisted that he didn't want to risk Puck losing his temper and attacking him and going back to Juvie. Plus he had Blaine with him. Puck talked to the dude briefly before leaving as per Kurt's orders and, yeah, the guy seemed okay, but he couldn't take on Karofsky, but Puck just let it go.

When Puck went to sit outside during lunch, he wished he had come along anyways. Blaine and Kurt were sitting over by the tree he and Kurt used to eat lunch at the year before. That was the place where he and Kurt laughed and talked about their day and Kurt forced Puck to eat his vegetables, the place that was just their own until Kurt started befriending the Glee kids and they started sitting with them at lunch. But that spot remained theirs, the spot for Kurt and Puck.

But now their not-so-secret place held Kurt and  _Blaine_ —that wasn't a name, it was a major appliance or something!—and, to add even more insult to his injury or whatever, Puck could tell Kurt was really enjoying Blaine's company. He was laughing and smiling, his whole face glowing. It was like Blaine was the best thing to ever happen to him.

Puck wasn't upset that Kurt was having fun without him, really. He was just upset that he was by himself when he was supposed to be back to being friends with Kurt again. Kurt could've texted him to meet at their spot, he knew Puck was worried about how the confrontation would go. Or Kurt could've flirted with this stranger bitch at another place, too, but he had chosen instead to defile  _their spot_.

One thing was clear as Puck threw away his barely touched lunch: that Blaine dude was trouble.

—

Puck was still in a miserable mood from seeing Kurt and Blaine together when he was called out of class. He walked into the principal's office with Mr. Schue and felt his stomach drop when he recognized his parole officer.

"I did everything I said I would," he said as soon as he sat down. "Just ask my bro, Artie, he has a girlfriend now all because of me, even with his wheelchair. He totally got laid the other night!"

"When you said you were working with a handicapped individual, I assumed you were doing a program through school or through a community group, not helping a friend get 'laid'," she said dryly.

"Look, there must be something we can work out," Schue said, "Puck's been a model student since he's been back."

"Two whole days, that's impressive," she said in that same sarcastic voice. "Look, if Mr. Puckerman doesn't do real community service we'll have to send him back to the correctional facility—"

"Screw that!" Puck yelled, standing back up, fear pooling in his stomach. What used to be his nipple hurt at just the thought of going back to that place. He couldn't stand the idea of going back, being behind bars and separated from Kurt as he got closer to  _Blaine_. "I'm not going back there!"

"Cool it, Puckerman," Figgins warned.

"No, I'm not calming down and I'm not going back there."

"Puck," Schue started in that stupid soft voice of his, "We're just trying to look out for you."

"No you aren't! Since when have any of you cared about me?" Puck yelled. Figgins never helped him out and Schue didn't even punish Finn for beating his face in last year and that bitch of an officer wasn't really helping him, either. "None of you guys care about me," he went on, his mind's eye picturing Kurt and Blaine laughing together without him.

He turned to his parole officer and felt rage course through him as she just took notes as if she was better than all of them, better than him, just like Blaine apparently was. "What are you writing?" he asked loudly, "Stop writing!" He pushed her notebook out of her hands before repeating, "I'm not going back there," and storming out of the room, not noticing Artie was in the hallway watching him curiously.

—

"I didn't see you in Geometry today," Artie observed as he wheeled up to Puck's locker.

"Nice observation. There's no point in going, anyways. They're going to send me back if I don't start doing 'real' community service," Puck said hopelessly as he leaned against the cool metal.

"Just pick up some trash on the highway, then."

"Are you serious? That's so ghetto, man," Puck snorted, not wanting to admit he was worried about skin cancer and all that. "I ain't no garbage man. I'm not doing that…but I'm not going back to Juvie."

"I thought you loved it there, that you ruled the place," Artie said, confused.

Puck snorted, "I made that up to get laid. It's freakin' terrifying, dude. On the first day three gang members attacked me and before the guards could get them off of me they pulled out my nipple ring. I thought  _I_ was a Bad Ass? There are some  _hard_  dudes in there. Guys with no families, guys who look at you like a dog they can't wait to kick the crap out of…they kept taking my waffles." Artie would've laughed at Puck's childlike pout about his waffles if he wasn't so concerned. "And even if I do that, what does it matter? Kurt can help me catch up in every subject  _but_ math—don't tell him I said that, he doesn't like admitting he's bad at anything."

"So…you'll be my community service," Artie said brightly.

"…What?" Puck asked. He said it so brokenly as if he were surprised that anyone would help him. And Artie realized he  _was_  surprised that someone would help him. Who had ever shown him sympathy besides Kurt, after all? Artie had tried once and failed, but Puck seemed to have forgotten that in between having to give his daughter up and losing and then getting back his best friend.

"I owe you one; you got me a date with Brittany," Artie continued. "And you made me feel cool, which is not the easiest thing to do," he said with a smile that grew as Puck slowly smiled back. "I really like hanging out with you, so let me tutor you in Geometry while you pick up garbage by the highway. Kurt can even come with if he wants, if  _you_  want." Puck looked willing but still apprehensive, so Artie went on, "Geometry's easy, yo! I mean, I know that Kurt thinks that a prism is just something Sailor Moon uses to defeat villains, but there's no reason a guy as smart as you shouldn't get at least a B." Before Puck could give him a glare, Artie amended, "Like you said, Kurt's smart at other things, but he just doesn't understand math—he thought a box had four sides, Puck—so I know he can't help you there. Give me six weeks and if you don't pass, I'll buy you all the waffles you can eat. You  _and_  Kurt."

"I doubt Kurt would allow himself to eat all of that…but that's dope, dude," Puck finally agreed. "You got yourself a deal."

He was about to leave with Artie when he heard a loud slam against the metal of the lockers. Much to his anger, he looked up and saw Karofsky walking away as Kurt was collapsed onto the floor, bringing his knees into his chest. Puck gripped his fists as Artie wheeled over to Kurt. "You alright, Kurt?"

Puck was next to Kurt after a few strides and helped him up, Kurt standing shakily. Noah turned to Artie and gave him a significant look as he said, "Um, I'll see you later, dude?"

Artie got the hint and nodded back, "Yeah, see ya later," before rolling off, giving the two one last look before he turned the corner. Kurt was nodding as if he was telling Puck he was really okay and Puck held onto Kurt's shoulders, the students not even caring as they passed by; even if it had been months since they saw it, that was just Kurt and Puck for you.

Artie smiled to himself as he wheeled down the hallways of McKinley. Maybe he could also help pay back Puck getting him a date with Brittany by finally helping him and Kurt get together.

—

"So you talked to the officer and everything's set?" Kurt asked.

"Yup, all set," Puck said as Kurt's Navigator drove onto their destination.

"And you have the Geometry textbook, Artie?" Kurt asked, making eye contact through his rear view mirror.

"Yup," Artie chimed in. At first he was nervous riding with Kurt since he was sure he hated him because of what he said, but Kurt just said it was fine because it had introduced him to a very good friend. The mention of the friend, Blair or something, made Puck glare sourly so Artie avoided bringing it up again.

"And I have the sunscreen," Kurt said in a sing-song voice, turning down the radio and slowing down. "Here we are," he said with an enthusiastic smile, pouring sunscreen onto his hands and lathering himself up in what had to be his fifth coat since the three of them had breakfast at IHOP (Puck really wanted some waffles after a month without them). Then Kurt turned to Puck and started rubbing him with the white liquid, Puck groaning like a little kid but staying still as Kurt reminded him about sun cancer.

"You know, you don't look too bad in orange," Kurt commented, putting on a hat that matched the sunglasses he already had on for the drive.

"Yeah, yeah," Puck muttered as he got out of the car. He got Artie's chair out and then picked up Artie and put him on it. Then he grabbed the tools he had been given and, with a heavy sigh, started picking up trash along the highway.

"So," Artie started as Kurt tried to find shade, "Pythagorean Theorem states that A-squared plus B-squared equals C-squared…"


	22. Shall We Dance?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puck finally gets to meet this Blaine kid face to face, but all hatred of him is forgotten as Burt and Carole finally head for the altar and Kurt's bully situation reaches a breaking point. It might just help Puck and Finn's friendship repair, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewrite of "The Substitute" and "Furt"

After changing from his jumpsuit to a more respectable outfit of jeans and a T-shirt while in his car, Puck walked into Breadstix. He tried to keep a smile on his face, but he really wasn't looking forward to what he was there to do.

"Good evening, sir, how many will be dining tonight?" the hostess asked with an overly bright smile.

"Um, my friend already got our group a table," Puck muttered, looking around until he spotted Kurt next to some guy with overgelled hair and Mercedes sitting across from them looking very unwilling to be there. He nodded to the hostess and headed up to his "group", feeling very much like Mercedes looked.

Kurt looked up with bright eyes when Puck got to the table. "Noah!" he exclaimed, getting up and giving Puck a quick hug which made Puck smile in spite of himself. Keeping one arm along his back, Kurt turned back to the table and gestured to the other guy. "Noah, this is Blaine; Blaine, this is Noah," he introduced with his most sparkling, charming smile.

Blaine reached a hand out for a shake and Puck leaned in after a second and put his hand in his, squeezing a bit tighter than necessary. Blaine just kept grinning and said, "Nice to meet you, Noah."

"Call me Puck," he corrected immediately.

"He's silly about his name," Kurt added, sitting down.

Mercedes moved towards the other end of the booth so Puck could sit next to her. He raised an eyebrow as he sat down and countered with, "You changed your middle name."

"I don't make people call me that, though."

"Yeah, but Puck is a badass name."

"Noah is a nice name."

"Exactly.  _Nice_  but not badass."

"I guess it beats you trying to be the Pucker Man."

"We were  _six_  and I was a superhero—"

"How long have you two known each other?" Blaine finally interjected feeling completely out of the loop as Mercedes watched in amusement, her first smile of the night.

The two blinked in surprise at being interrupted. "We used to live next to each other," Puck finally started.

"My family moved in right next door and I didn't get along too well with the other play dates my mom had made," Kurt continued, the story so familiar it was if they had their own lines to recite.

"He came over when we were three and, I don't know, it went from there," Puck shrugged, grabbing the glass of Coke they had gotten him for a sip.

"Noah moved when we were nine or so but we just stayed connected…for the most part," Kurt finished, smiling at Noah and then turning back to Blaine.

"Oh…okay. That's really cool, that you two are still so close and everything. I'm barely even close to my own brother let alone any friends I had before Dalton," Blaine said with a small nod.

"Yeah, well…" Puck turned to Kurt, "I would've been here sooner but the traffic was really bad. Hate dealing with it, especially after community service where I'm actually cleaning up the roads, even if it's for Juvie." Puck was disappointed that Blaine didn't seem shocked by the revelation of what he was doing before he got there but he said nothing as Kurt told him it was okay he was late.

Silence permeated for a short while until Kurt pulled his mouth off of his Diet Coke and asked, "Okay, okay, so, who's read Patti LuPone's new book?" Puck rolled his eyes in time with Mercedes as Kurt and Blaine got in a discussion about the diva. Suddenly he was wishing he was back on the highway picking up trash.

"When Kurt talks, do you sometimes just hear, 'gay, gay, gay, gay, gay'?" Mercedes asked in a whisper as Blaine and Kurt moved onto talking about Megan Hilty.

Puck's Coke nearly shot out of his nose.

—

"Hey," Puck said absent mindedly, not even looking at Kurt as he pulled one of his books out of Kurt's locker. The benefit of sharing locker space for the classes that were closer to the other's locker was one of the very sweet deals of being friends with Kurt again (well, when you got past the having his best friend back and feeling like he actually belonged again stuff). He rolled his eyes at his ridiculous picture and word collage of Blaine but didn't insult it even though he was tempted to do so every time. The guy was a lot like Kurt, yeah, very gay and all of that, but he was also an idiot, a jerk, and had no reason to be in Kurt's locker. Puck would just have to get even and put up some pictures of half naked chicks in his or something.

His plans on which chicks would go in his locker were interrupted when he saw the look on Kurt's face. Woah. That look did  _not_  belong on his face; a look of sheer terror on his pale skin made Puck want to run out and punch whatever monster under Kurt's bed had caused it or kill the spider that had snuck up on him. And that showed the last time he saw Kurt so terrified.

"Kurt?" he asked quietly. Kurt jolted out of his reverie and looked over at Puck, forcing a small smile. "What's wrong?"

Kurt shook his head, "Nothing, just…thinking."

" _Kurt_ …" Puck started, not wanting to deal with a bullshit lie.

"Puck," Kurt said in a heavy tone. "I do  _not_  want to talk about it," he said in a quiet forcefulness but with a quiver of fear running through it, "Let's just get back to Glee, okay? Schue's supposed to be back."

Puck watched him for a few more moments, wanting so desperately to know what had shaken Kurt so much, but he knew when Kurt was like this he wouldn't talk about it. Just like he wouldn't talk about Mama Kate being sick for so long or how he wouldn't talk about his sexuality for a while even after he had come out to him. He just needed time to process things by himself before he could talk to Puck about it and Puck had accepted that. Sorta.

Without a word, Puck offered Kurt his hand and closed the locker with another. Kurt gave him a small smile of gratitude before they set off down the hallway.

—

"What is that hat?" Puck asked Kurt. It wasn't very loud but Kurt still jumped at his locker. "Sorry," Puck mumbled, mentally kicking himself for sneaking up on his friend who had been getting more and more jumpy. He was sure it had something to do with Karofsky and the kiss but Kurt had refused to talk about Karofsky since then, nothing past telling Puck not to kill or punch him. He tried to be near Kurt all time so he wouldn't get hurt (even if Kurt hated the idea of being taken care of), but sometimes he just had to be in another place.

"No, it's fine, I just didn't expect you," Kurt said, mentally kicking himself as well for different reasons. It had been a week or so since the death threat and Karofsky's bullying had increased whenever Puck wasn't there but he didn't need to have a panic attack just because someone was talking to him. He closed his locker with a smile and leaned against it casually, "It's a great hat, that's what it is."

"I'm not denying that," Puck said, "But it's not your usual style, that's all."

Before Kurt could comment back, he heard a voice calling out his and Noah's name. He turned around and frowned; his dad and Carole were at school. "Oh no, what's wrong? What happened?" Kurt asked quickly, his mind jumping to the worst possible scenario.

"Nothing, nothing," Burt insisted, "Just tell us where Finn's locker is."

Kurt started pointing in the general direction but then his dad locked an arm around one of his and Carole locked an arm around Puck's who instinctively did the same to Kurt. "Okay…I guess I'll show you," he said slowly. They four headed over as Kurt looked at the two parents with a confused smile and Puck furrowed his brow. The adults, however, looked at each other with a contagious excitement.

When they reached the locker, Finn turned to them looking a bit upset that Puck was linked up with his mom. Carole and Burt let go (while Kurt and Puck relaxed to a handhold, which was much more their style) and Finn relaxed enough to ask, "What's up? Is this one of those interventions…?"

"If it is, it's for the three of us," Kurt said, "They bombarded me and Noah and brought us here." The energy that Burt and Carole gave out made Kurt perk up a bit, looking between the two of them like a kitten being teased with a toy on a string by its owner as the two argued over who was going to tell them whatever the big surprise was.

Finally Burt agreed to start. "Okay, so you know how I drive Carole to work every Tuesday? Well, today I drove here," Burt said, moving over to Carole. Kurt eyed him knowingly, pretty sure he knew what was coming but unable to believe it while Puck and Finn remained equally clueless. "We went to the room where Kurt introduced us—very romantic of me, I might add—and I—"

"He proposed!" Carole finished. Kurt smiled and looked at Puck (who was looking at the couple in shocked happiness) and Finn (who looked a bit less than thrilled) before turning back to his dad and soon-to-be-stepmom.

Kurt let go of Puck's hand and grabbed Carole's left hand, cooing, "Oh, Dad!" It was a simple but gorgeous ring, gold and quite beautiful with Carole's skin tone. And he picked it without his son's help; Kurt was so proud!

"We wanted you to be the first to know," Carole said, giving Puck a special look to know he was included.

"Yeah, after the kids in that homeroom," Burt added. "Come on, family hug—don't you dare back out of here, Noah, you're a part of this family, too!" The five of them scrunched up into one big hug, Puck and Finn right next to each other, making Finn even more obviously uncomfortable to the whole situation.

"I'm so excited. And nervous," Carole started and Kurt immediately interrupted.

"Don't be! Oh, this is just what I needed! I'll take care of it from here." Kurt insisted, glossing over why he needed a pick-me-up. "I have a trunk  _full_  of wedding magazines under my bed."

"It's true," Puck said quickly.

Kurt went right back into his speech, "I'm thinking a russet and cognac theme."

At Finn's confused look, Puck said, "They're colors."

"Fall wedding colors!" Kurt added with a rushed excitement.

"Nothing too extravagant, Kurt," Burt warned with a smile. "Whatever savings we have we're spending on the honeymoon." At Carole's stunned look he smiled proudly, "Yeah, that's right, we're going to Waikiki and staying in the hotel where they put up the guest stars on _Lost_!" Kurt and Carole looked equally as happy about the news even though Kurt knew he wasn't going.

Carole looked over at her son in concern. "Finn? You haven't said anything…"

"I guess I'm just kind of…stunned."

"Don't worry, buddy," Burt said. "I'm already looking at bigger houses, one where everyone can have their own room." Kurt looked awkwardly and Noah quickly grabbed his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Come on, Finn. Be happy for me," Carole pleaded.

"…I…I am," Finn said, finally smiling ever so slightly, causing Kurt to smile again with Carole.

"Okay, okay, Kurt, as wedding planner, you have  _one_  job," Kurt looked at his father enthusiastically as he continued, "I want you to hire a rockin' band. I've been eating right and I've been exercising and I want to boogie with Carole at this wedding. And I will  _boogie_." He gave an example of one of his moves and Noah laughed quietly along with Carole's louder giggle.

"It's already done. I will hire the New Directions as your band—it won't cost you a cent! They're cheap, they're available…" Kurt said and Finn nodded in agreement. "Long story short," he said with a clap of his hands, "You're having a Glee wedding!"

—

Puck had been extremely concerned with how Kurt had been acting but as soon as the wedding was announced, he was so involved with wedding plans he was, like, glowing. It really did seem that the wedding was just what he needed. He didn't even have to worry about approaching him at his locker anymore and freaking him out.

"That's why we feed them glitter, Finn," Kurt said with a slight amount of condescension.

"Who, Brittany?" Puck asked, draping an arm around Kurt's shoulders.

"The doves," Kurt explained with a roll of his eyes.

"Oh, you mean like the 200 birds you wanna release? Sounds messy," Puck said.

"That's what I said—"

"Enough!" Kurt said, holding out one of his hands for silence. "Look, I've been planning weddings since I was  _two_ —my power rangers traded partners more than Fleetwood Mac—"

"It's true," Puck agreed.

"And I know what will work and what won't," Kurt continued, giving Puck a small glare for interrupting. He turned back to Finn, "Now you said you wanted to do something special for your mom? Well, after you give her away to my dad—"

"Creepy," Finn said at the same time as Noah, causing them to give a  _right on_  face to each other much to Kurt's annoyance.

"After you give her away, at the reception, you two can have a special mother/son dance," Kurt finished with a bright smile.

"Dude, no way, everyone knows I'm the worst dancer."

Puck shrugged, "It would look kind of badass if you pulled it off."

"Noah knows badassery," Kurt offered, smiling in victory.

"I guess you're right," Finn said, smiling. "Yeah, I'll do that. Thanks, Kurt…Puck." He looked down awkwardly at his pigeon toed feet for a moment and then looked up at Puck, "…Puck, you coming to English?"

Puck raised his eyebrows; Finn hadn't addressed him in such friendly terms for quite some time. Kurt looked down to hide a smile and Puck unwrapped his arm from around Kurt's shoulders, "Sure, dude."

Kurt smiled as he watched his two boys walk off. There was hope of peace for those two. But as soon as he closed his locker with the wedding topper in his hand, he realized peace just wasn't ready for him yet. Not while Karofsky had a say.

—

"Has Kurt told you anything about Karofsky?"

Puck looked Santana up and down with a neutral face as he leaned against his locker, "I didn't think you cared about him."

"Look, I don't, it's just…all the girls were talking about getting their boyfriends to do something to attack Karofsky and they said that you couldn't because you're in Juvie and I think the reason you aren't back in Juvie is because you know it's not a big deal or something," Santana said quickly, crossing her arms over her chest. "Not that we're dating or whatever…"

He stared at her for a long time, unsure how to respond to her question—still a bit unsure what she was even asking. "I know some stuff," he said simply, "And I  _am_  doing stuff. I send Karofsky the death glare, but, more importantly, I'm there for Kurt to turn to. And I think it makes me badass to be able to be there past punching a guy in the face. Even though I want to punch the asshole in the face."

Santana made a sour face and rolled her eyes, "Whatever, Homo." She turned around and started to leave but then looked back over her shoulder with a softer look, "Just…keep him safe," and turned back around to leave again.

—

"Stop picking on Kurt," Artie said in a low voice. Puck looked up and over at them from where he was changing and groaned softly. The confrontation had to be right then and there when he'd be tempted to join?

"You mind? I'm changing," Karofsky said and Puck had to resist the urge to attack him for speaking to his friends like that.

"We're serious!" Mike yelled, slamming his locker door.

"From now on, you leave him alone," Artie continued.

"If he wants to be a homo, fine, but he can't rub it in my face." As he moved behind Mike and Artie, Puck clenched his fists and tried to take the deep breaths they taught him about at Juvie for his anger issues (like his were anything compared to the other guys, ugh).  _1, 2, 3, 4, 5…_

"Yeah, we're done talking about this. Just  _back off_ ," Mike said loudly, getting into Karofsky's face.  _6, 7, 8…_

"No,  _you_  back off!" he yelled back, pushing Mike into Artie's wheelchair.

 _Fuck that shit_. Puck made a move to launch himself at Karofsky but Artie managed to grab a hold of his wrist despite being on the ground. "Juvie, remember?" Artie said quietly as Sam attacked Karofsky. Puck looked down at him with a tense jaw but nodded.

—

"The dude was a wild animal!" Mike exclaimed.

"A  _manimal_ ," Artie agreed.

"You have no idea how hard it was for me to not join in on that beat down," Puck lamented with a slight pout.

"It's true; Mike had to hold onto his other arm to stop him from attacking Karofsky. If Coach hadn't come in a second later we would've lost our grip on him," Artie said, Mike nodding behind him. Kurt tried to give a small smile to his best friend but he couldn't really force one on.

As nice as it was for everyone to care about him, Kurt was uncomfortable with all of the attention surrounding his bullying. It didn't help that they felt the need to resort to violence of course, but it was worse that he just felt like one of those porcelain dolls that shared his last name; cute and pretty but not worth much and very fragile.

But when Santana asked Finn where he was and he had to explain that he was on the field, like it was a bad thing that he wasn't physically assaulting a guy, Kurt started to get exasperated. Then Mercedes added, "It doesn't matter where you were; since Puck can't do it, you should've led the charge," and Kurt finally spoke up.

"Lay off of Finn, it's not his problem," Kurt said, surprised at how fragile his own voice sounded. "It's none of your problems, actually…but thank you for what you did. Especially Sam," he finished, still not showing a hint of a smile, even as Puck wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Kurt stayed stiff in Puck's arms, avoiding Mr. Schue's eyes as he checked in on him.

He was humiliated.

—

"Thank you both for attending the Kurt Hummel Wedding Dance Seminar," Kurt said with the biggest smile he had put on for weeks as he talked to Finn and his father in the choir room. He was in his element with three of the most important men in his life; he could handle that.

"Wait, why just us two? Isn't Puck here for a lesson?" Finn asked.

Kurt looked over at Noah and shook his head, "Noah here is the proof that the Kurt Hummel Wedding Dance Seminar—trademark pending—actually works."

Puck looked up from Kurt's phone (he was playing Angry Birds) with wide eyes. "I just heard my name."

"Just smile and nod, honey," Kurt said which caused Burt to smirk (both at the nickname and how quickly Puck followed directions). "Good."

Kurt looked over at his dad and continued, "Dad, you have to pull off the first dance with Carole, and if Uncle Andy's 40th birthday party was any indication…you have a lot of work."

"What are you talking about? My moves were great! It was the damn sangria…" Puck chuckled, remembering the humiliated texts Kurt sent him during the occasion. Kurt rolled his eyes and marched over to his father and grabbed his hand.

"We dance to the beat, not the words—"

"I have coordination, the sangria knocked it off—"

"I know, Dad," Kurt said, pulling Burt out of the chair. He turned his dad towards him and quickly moved his hands to the right position, accepting the "girl" part of the dance. "Now have you guys chosen a wedding song?"

"You mean you're actually letting them choose something?" Puck asked with a laugh.

"Didn't I tell you to just smile and nod?" Kurt snapped with a turn of his head over his shoulder. Puck just laughed some more and Kurt turned back to his dad with a smile, "Song?"

"We're thinking either 'Stairway' or some Bublé," Burt answered. Kurt made a face but at least the song would be easy to dance to, nothing tricky. He cued up Brad and started instructing him on how to move.

"Okay, opposite of me, and the guy leads, so you lead around…see, you got it; simple, right?" Kurt smiled before letting go, wondering if that was how his dad felt letting go of him so he could ride his bike without his training wheels for the first time.

Thankfully, his dad didn't fall, though, and continued dancing with himself. "Look, I'm doing it! I'm dancing!" Burt exclaimed. "And, hey, no chickening out, Finn, I did it!"

"I did it, too, dude," Puck said, putting down Kurt's phone on the piano and bowing in front of Kurt, "Shall we?"

"I need to teach Finn—"

"C'mon, they could use a model," Puck said, offering his hand like he was some guy from  _Pride and Prejudice_  or another old movie Kurt loved.

"…I guess an example could help," Kurt agreed, "Watch us to see how it looks." As Burt stopped spinning himself around, Kurt smiled and took Puck's hand, letting Puck pull him in. Their bodies were pressed closer than Kurt's had been with his dad's,  _much_  closer, the space between them barely visible. Puck put his hand on Kurt's hip and Kurt snorted and switched so his hand was on Puck's, "I'm leading this dance, Puckerman."

He easily started the dance and led Puck around the room, Puck's feet following Kurt's without having to look at anything but his eyes. "You should be able to connect well enough that you don't have to stare at your feet—the dance is easy enough that you won't step on Carole's feet," Kurt explained, still looking into Puck's eyes.

"And even though I'm leading him and I'm 'in charge'," he continued, "It's an equal partnership. You have to complement each move or else it's not a complete dance." Puck smiled. He had to admit that he and Kurt had that part  _down_ ; no one complemented each other as much as them. Maybe that's why Puck danced so well with him.

"And if you want to do a spin or dip," Kurt added with a devilish grin that made Puck's heart race a bit, "Your partner has to feel or see it coming." Kurt easily maneuvered Puck into a dip and then pulled him back up, their bodies even closer. "Or else your partner will be flat on their back and confused," Kurt finished, spinning Puck out and hitting a final pose.

Finn and Burt both applauded and Kurt took a large bow, still holding onto Puck's hand. Before he could let go he looked over his shoulder and saw Karofsky looking in on them. He waggled his wrist like an effeminate gay man and Puck tensed his hand around Kurt to an almost painful hold.

The whole atmosphere changed from light and happy to dark and dismal. "Who was that? What happened?" Burt asked.

"It's nothing, Dad—"

"It wasn't nothing, that guy was making fun of you." Kurt felt that humiliation wash over him again as yet another person found out about his bullying. "What's his name?"

"Dad—"

"Tell him, Kurt," Finn said. Kurt looked at him with angry eyes.

"Tell him or I will," Puck added, staring down Kurt's glare with a steady look of his own.

Kurt just his jaw out forward but turned to his dad. "His name's David Karofsky. He's just been harassing me for a few weeks now."

"Harassing you how?"

"Just…shoving me and giving me a hard time." Kurt squeezed Puck's hand as a warning not to say anything else, but Puck was too busy glaring down Karofsky as he walked past the other choir room door to care.

"There's more. There's something else you're not telling me," Burt said.

And finally,  _finally_ , Kurt said what had been weighing him down, what he never even admitted to Noah. His dad could crack him every time.

"He threatened to kill me."

Burt didn't even say a word before racing out of the choir room. "You're kidding me," Finn said before his instincts made him chase after Burt. But Kurt was too concerned with trying to hold Puck back.

"Puck you are  _not_  going back to Juvie—"

"He doesn't get to threaten you like that, Kurt, he—what was that?"

Both boys looked at each other and then raced out to find the source of the  _thud_ ; Burt had pinned Karofsky to a wall. Puck and Finn tried to pull Burt off of the guy with no luck but Kurt stepped forward and used the best defense against his dad's anger.

"Please, Dad, you're sick," Kurt said softly, gently pulling at his dad's arm.

Burt finally caved and Karofsky walked away more than a bit freaked out. "So what have you been doing, huh?" Burt asked Finn and Noah with a yell once Dave was away.

"Dad—" But he couldn't say anything more before his dad left. Once again, Kurt was just a Hummel figurine with nothing to add to his own cause.

—

"So you didn't know about the threat?" Finn asked quietly. He and Puck were sitting alone in the choir room, just a chair in between them. Even though the fight had happened the day before, the two were still very shaken.

Puck shook his head before putting his hands on the back of his neck and leaning forward onto his elbows. "No," he whispered for emphasis. "If I did, I'd probably be back in Juvie… _God_ , I just wish I could do  _something_."

"But you're, you know, there for him, at least," Finn said. "I wasn't."

"I know, and I'm glad I can help him that way…but I just want to punch that dick in the face. I'm good at that," Puck said with a sigh.

"Yeah. I just wish I could help in some way. I suck at that," Finn stated before drifting off into silence again. He really wanted to do _something_  to prove that he cared about Kurt and that he wanted to help his almost stepbrother. Something big that Kurt would like and something he could do to show their parents that he was really a part of the family. Because it had taken a drastic measure, but he realized how much he really did care for Kurt and how much he needed him there. What if Kurt never told anyone about Karofsky and the guy went through his threat? The thought made Finn's hair stand on end.

Then a light bulb lit up over Finn's head. It was simple and overdone in their little group, but it could work. Well, if Puck approved of it. "Do you think Kurt would be okay if…if I sang a song for him? At the wedding?"

Puck raised an eyebrow, "He's kind of digging that Blaine guy now, bro."

"Not like that," Finn said. "Like…if I just show him how I'm sorry for judging him and…well, you know how I was last year…and now. I just want to make it up to him."

"Are you kidding? Of course Kurt would love that," Puck responded immediately. "You sure you want to do it at the wedding?"

"…Yeah. I need to show him I'll support him in public and stuff."

Puck gave a firm nod and pulled out his phone, "Let's get the others in here."

After several texts and a few phone calls, the New Directions (minus Kurt) were in the choir room. "What did you call us here for, Finnessa?" Santana asked, "I don't want to miss out on my free period for no good reason."

Puck gave Finn an encouraging nod and Finn stood up in front of his choir. "Look, I know I haven't always been there for Kurt—"

"That's an understatement," Mercedes mumbled.

"But I'm trying to fix that," Finn continued. "And, I don't know, I'd just like to show him that I'm here for him and that, well, we're all here for him. With a song." The room remained silent and Finn gave Puck a desperate look.

"Okay, the point is, it took all of you guys 'till Kurt was at a breaking point for you guys to notice he was in trouble," Puck started, standing up next to Finn. "And I'm sure the whole school knows about the threat now and none of us knew that…not even me." He cleared his throat and continued on, "So we've all slipped up on our duties as being a friend. You can't judge Finn for that because no matter how close you are to Kurt, no one has been a perfect friend to him. And, plus, have you  _seen_  what Kurt has done this past week? He's put this wedding together all by himself, no questions asked. He's altered dresses, he's picked ties, he's planned out flowers and gotten a space and everything. I think he could use a song in his honor from all of us."

The room was silent for a little while longer. Finally Tina asked, "What song do you want to do?"

Finn visibly relaxed. "I figured since we're already doing Bruno Mars, we could take out the romantic parts of 'Just the Way You Are'. I'd, uh, like to sing it to my mom, too. Since it's her wedding and all."

Rachel beamed at her boyfriend and sprang up, "I'll get the sheet music!" Santana rolled her eyes at her peppiness but got up as Brittany and Mike started leading the choir in warm up stretches.

"You want to do any solo or something, dude?" Finn asked Puck as he struggled through the simple movements.

"Nah, it's cool," Puck said, stretching up at his own tempo. "I tell him that sort of thing all the time; he doesn't need to hear it from me. It's all you, buddy."

—

Kurt knew it sounded conceited, but he was so proud o how the wedding was turning out with all his work. Mr. Schue's choreography mixed with his outfit and song picks plus the flowers and the decorations in the church? Magical. But the thing that made him cry was just seeing how happy his dad and Carole were. His parents were. What had started as a really stupid attempt at getting closer to a crush actually brought good to the world and he couldn't have been happier.

Originally he was going to write the vows, but somewhere between the meeting that got Karofsky expelled and collapsing in relief and exhaustion for about sixteen hours he agreed that they could write their own vows. So when the officiator told them to start saying them, Kurt waited with bated breath, sending a quick smile in Puck's direction.

"I'm not really known for having a way with words…" Burt started. "But you know, when you're a kid, adults will tell you a lot of things. But one thing they neglect to mention is how sad life can be. I lost someone I loved very much, but Kurt…he lost his mom," Kurt froze and bit on his lips, "And that killed me. You know, we got by, but, looking back, I want to apologize to you, Kurt. How we were living just…wasn't living.

"And while I'm apologizing for that, I need to say thank you to someone else," Burt went on. He turned a bit further and looked right at Puck. "Noah Puckerman. You were always there for Kurt when I couldn't be. You kept a bridge between the two of us, got us to talk on Friday Night Dinners, you were always there for Kurt. And without you and your mom and your sister, I don't know where my son would be right now. If it were possible to have a third best man up here, you know it would be you without a doubt, 'cause you've done stupid things, I've had two sons since you guys were three."

Puck nodded and furrowed his brows together. He wasn't going to tear up, not in front of all those people he didn't know and his choir and especially not Santana. Badasses didn't cry at weddings. Even when their best friend was.

Burt continued on by turning to Carole. "You know that saying that when God closes a door he opens a window? Well, sometimes out of nowhere, he'll do you one better and he'll kick a whole wall down. He grabbed me by the shoulders and he pointed me towards this woman right here and He said, 'There she is. Go get her.'" The room all laughed so he paused before going on, "You're everything, Carole. Words can't describe you; you're  _everything_. And I will love you until the day I die."

He nodded to acknowledge he was finished and Carole took a deep breath, her eyes misty. "Okay…I'm lucky. Most women, when they get married, they get one man. I get two. One of you saved me from my wardrobe," she looked at Kurt, "And one of you just saved me," she sent a smile at Burt, holding his hands.

She turned back to her stepson, "Kurt, you are an  _amazing_  person. I'm not only getting a son; I'm getting a friend." She looked over at Puck and kept smiling, "And I still don't know you very well, Noah or Puck or Puckerman or whatever I'm supposed to call you," the kids all laughed at that and Puck hung his head sheepishly, "But I can't wait to get to know you. Despite what your past is, we have a clean slate…I guess I'm really getting three men, aren't I?"

The congregation laughed again and Carole turned to her son. "Finn, I know you were resistant at first, but I am  _so_ proud of you. I've watched you grow into a man. But I think I'm most proud of how you've become a brother to Kurt." Finn's face blanched for a moment and Kurt was afraid he was going to resist, but whatever it was disappeared and Finn was smiling as he held hands with his mom. Carole held onto one of Burt's hands and Burt grabbed one of Kurt's. "We are becoming a family."

Okay, badasses were totally allowed to tear up, right?

—

Finn put down his mic and told Kurt, "And you're going to dance it with me, dude." Kurt immediately shook his head but Finn just went into his position with the guys and ignored Kurt's refusal as Kurt started to smile.

" _Oh, her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shining. Her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her trying_ ," Finn sang, looking over at his mom and Rachel, " _She's so beautiful and I tell her everyday_."

He joined the girls' side and sort of danced with them and kept singing, aiming it more at Kurt, " _Oh you know, you know, you know I'd never ask you to change. If perfect's what you're searching for than just stay the same. So don't even bother asking if you look okay, you know I'll say…_ "

Finn gestured at Kurt to get up and Kurt did so with happy reluctance. " _When I see your face there's not a thing that I would change, 'cause you're amazing just the way you are_ ," Finn sang as the Gleeks formed a circle. Rachel pretended to be going to Finn's outstretched arms but then pushed a very surprised Kurt into the center of the circle at the last minute. Finn didn't even hesitate to put his hands in the right places and lead Kurt in a dance like he had tried to teach him. " _And when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while. 'Cause you're amazing just the way you are_." Kurt couldn't stop grinning. He wasn't getting some romantic feel off of it even with the romantic aspect of the song; he just finally felt like Finn really wanted to be his brother and really trusted him and was willing to be there for him, just like his speech said. He felt like Finn appreciated their differences instead of hating them like he had the spring before. His whole choir loved his differences, it wasn't like Kurt was just an annoyingly flamboyant gay that they dealt with because they had to. He really did have eleven friends in that group. And when Finn pulled him into a hug, he was positively beaming.

The chorus went on and they brought their parents out, Kurt dancing with his dad and Finn sort of dancing with his mom (getting him to dance like he had with Kurt just once was more than enough for one night.). Then the newlyweds danced together, all the couples danced together, Sara was jamming with some boy around her age, Mae was watching her while she simultaneously danced with a guy…the whole floor was just flooded with people dancing.

After a few moments with Mercedes, Kurt felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and Puck asked Mercedes, "May I cut in?"

"Of course. Besides I have my eye on someone over there," Mercedes replied, making her away across the dance floor with a huge grin on her lips.

"Mind if I lead this time?" Puck asked, "'Cause I'm going to."

"I guess I have to see how well my teaching worked on my first pupil," Kurt said with a nod, taking Puck's hand primly and letting him pull him in close.

Puck easily led them around the dance floor to the new song the band started playing. "Not bad, right?" Puck asked.

"Eh, acceptable, I guess," Kurt teased.

"Oh, just acceptable?" he teased back. With a subtle body change, he dropped Kurt down for a dip causing Kurt to laugh. "Is that a bit more than acceptable now?"

"Fine, fine, just pull me back up," Kurt laughed from his position. Puck grinned and pulled him up, their bodies squished together, a bit too close for their hands to really stay in the positions they were supposed to be in. But Kurt just snuggled into Kurt's chest and smiled. "Thank you."

"Mmm, for what?" Puck asked, slowly swaying them to the beat.

"Do I really have to list everything?"

"C'mon, it's good for my ego."

Kurt snorted but complied. "You didn't pressure me to tell you anything, you were there for me even though you'd have rather punched his face in, and you helped repair your own friendship with Finn. Not to mention I'm sure you had something to do with the song. And, of course, for all the years of friendship they kept bringing up."

"You're welcome," Puck said simply. "Though I don't know what friendship they're talking about, I barely like you."

"Yeah, me neither. Ew, you're gross!"

—

Puck felt a sense of dread. Kurt was asking to do something before being told about a solo for a competition AKA what he had wanted since day one in Glee club? His eyes were slightly red around the edges, too, and he was holding his messenger bag in that insecure way he did. But Karofsky was expelled, what was wrong?

"First, I wanted to thank you all for what you did at my dad's wedding, especially Finn," Kurt said, sparing Finn a small smile. "It's nice to know I have great friends here as well as a true brother…which is why it's so hard for me to leave."

Puck's stomach dropped. No.

"What do you mean 'leave'?" Quinn asked.

He just misunderstood Kurt, that's all.

"I'm transferring to Dalton Academy. Immediately. My parents are using the money they saved up for their honeymoon on the tuition," Kurt explained.

It wasn't happening.

"Kurt, you can't leave," Tina pleaded.

 _No_.

"What the hell, dude, how about you talk with me about this first?" Finn asked, obviously betrayed by being left out of the decision.

It was just a bad joke.

"I'm sorry, Finn, but there's nothing to talk about. Karofsky's coming back tomorrow so that means I won't be." Kurt was avoiding Puck's eyes.

There was no way Karofsky was allowed in McKinley anymore.

"We could protect you," Sam insisted.

Puck just kept staring at Kurt.

"Seriously, we could form a perimeter around you like the secret service," Mike agreed.

Kurt still wasn't looking back.

"The only thing that can really protect me is what they have at Dalton: a zero tolerance, no bullying policy. It's enforced," Kurt said, looking at Mr. Schue.

Why? He had a secret service at McKinley.

"Does this mean that you're going to be competing against us at sectionals?"

Puck found himself standing without telling his legs to do so.

"Kurt…" he said slowly, his voice hoarse and low.

Kurt finally looked him in the eye and Puck wished he hadn't. "I'm sorry," Kurt whispered, "I have to go."

The rest of the group watched as Kurt left and Puck was standing up helplessly. Kurt was the one leading the dance. Kurt threw him for a dip without a warning and left Puck flat on his ass and confused.


	23. Even If We're Miles Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have to deal with the rest of the semester apart, the new Hummel-Hudson household, and the holiday season. Some things are more easily managed than others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewrite of "Special Education" and "A Very Glee Christmas"

_Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong…_ The doorbell kept ringing its annoying two-tone ring and Burt groaned. He got out of the chair he was reading the paper in as he waited for his son to finish packing (they had to rush over to Dalton ASAP to get his dorm assignment) and made his way to the door. Finn and Carole's boxes were still around the hallways so it took a while but the doorbell just kept ringing and ringing.

Finally he opened it to see who it was and sighed. He should've known. Burt opened the door all the way and stepped aside. "Kurt's in his room finishing packing. Watch out for spare boxes, Noah." Puck barely gave him a nod before running down to the basement door, jumping over boxes like some video game character as his backpack bounced on his back. He slammed the door closed and ran down the stairs quickly but when he finally got to Kurt's room, he froze. Kurt could tell that Puck was there and Puck knew that, but they just stayed frozen, Kurt in front of his bed where his suitcase laid and Puck on the opposite side of the room, just watching.

"Why did you tell me in front of everyone?" Puck finally asked quietly, taking a few steps forward. "I just…I just thought I deserved to know before you told everyone."

Kurt didn't turn around. "I just found out a few minutes before I got to Glee. I didn't have time to tell you, Noah. I'm sorry."

"But…but you could've come to me first or-or  _something_ ," Puck stammered.

"I didn't want to tell the same thing twice. It was hard enough saying it once," Kurt explained, slowly and deliberately folding up a shirt before placing it daintily in the suitcase in front of him.

"Kurt, why aren't you looking at me?" Puck asked softly. "Just because you're going to another school—we aren't going to not be friends any more, right?" he asked, realizing that didn't really make much sense. He cleared his throat and reworded his question, "We're still friends, right?"

"Of course!" Kurt exclaimed, finally whipping his head around to look at Noah. His eyes were red rimmed and puffy, worse than they had been a few hours at the beginning of Glee club, but they were blazing with a fire at Puck's words.

"Okay, okay, I was just…making sure. I mean, now that you're going to be with that Blaine guy everyday, I didn't know if I was…replaced or whatever," Puck said, slowly sitting down on part of Kurt's bed that wasn't overtaken by his oversized suitcase and placing his backpack on the floor.

Kurt's brows furrowed together and he sat down next to Puck. "Why would that change anything? Haven't we been over how no matter what, you're my best friend and you know me best and no one will replace that?" He placed a hand on Puck's knee and smiled slightly, "Plus I hope he'll be a boyfriend soon, and that's definitely not replacing you."

For whatever reason, that didn't comfort Puck.

"I'm just really going to miss you at school," Puck said quietly.

"I know," Kurt replied just as soft. "I'll miss you, too. At least we have weekends and we could find a halfway point to meet up, too."

"I guess…I don't know, I wish I did more. I know I can't beat him up, but I could've stopped him somehow, right? I mean, even if not, I should've helped you and been there for you and everyth—"

"No," Kurt said firmly, looking at Puck with a serious look in his eyes. "Noah, you're not responsible for this, okay? You're not responsible for stopping a closeted maniac. And I say that in the most respectful way possible since obviously the boy needs help, but…" he sighed, "None of this is your fault so I better not hear you blaming yourself for any of it."

"I can't help it, Kurt!" Puck exclaimed, standing up, "I messed up our friendship and pushed you away and then we finally get to be back together and you're pushed out of the school and I just know I could've stopped it—"

"You couldn't have," Kurt said, standing up in front of Puck. "So  _please_  stop saying you could have! You didn't make me confront Karofsky and you didn't make him kiss me, so how is any of this your fault?"

"Because I'm supposed to protect you, and I couldn't protect you from Mama Kate dying or when Burt was in the hospital but I could've protected you from him—"

"Noah—"

"If you had just told us about the threat we could've done  _something_  and—"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Kurt yelled, causing Puck to finally stop and look at Kurt. The volume level didn't make Puck pause; it was the curse word and the anger and hurt dripping from each syllable. Kurt looked at Puck with a glare, practically shaking, "I'm tired of everyone treating me like an actual Hummel figurine. I hate this, Noah, I hate that I can't just bounce back from this like I used to and I hate that it got this bad. I don't  _want_  people protecting me, Noah, but I have to! You don't know what it's like to feel helpless against a bully. You've been made fun of but no one could take you on physically unless you let them; Karofsky really  _could_  hurt me, Noah, do you know how terrifying that is?"

Kurt shook his head and closed his eyes tightly, "I know I should've told people, but I didn't want to accidentally out him. Or I like to tell myself that's it; I know I just thought I could handle it myself." He opened his eyes and renewed his glare on Puck, "I feel bad enough that I have to run and hide from the Big Bad Bully, so don't rub it in by saying how much you could've protected me. It's not your fault; it's that freaking psychopath's. I get that you feel guilty, but you're not helping this situation at all, so stop.  _Please_." He sat down on the bed, pressing his lips together as Puck stared at him in shock.

It took a few moments, but slowly and surely, Puck sat down next to Kurt, letting his hands rest in his lap and his eyes looking straight ahead like Kurt's were. "I'm sorry," he finally said softly.

Kurt nodded and, in a strained voice, replied, "Me, too."

Puck looked over at Kurt, recognizing that pinched look he got whenever he tried not to cry. "Kurt…" he sighed, wrapping his arm around his shoulders, "It's just me. You don't have to hold back, right? It's just us two, no one else." He moved Kurt's head closer to his chest and added, "This shirt is cheap enough some tear stains won't hurt it."

Kurt choked out a laugh that made a few tears leave his eyes. The tears kept falling down his cheeks after that and his body shook with sobs soon after. Puck's hand ran up and down Kurt's back, his eyes stinging and throat burning from seeing Kurt so worked up and from the reminder that, starting the next day, he and Kurt would be torn apart yet again.

As Kurt's breathing started going back to normal and the tears stopped wetting Puck's T-shirt, Puck whispered, "It's going to be hard without you."

Kurt nodded in agreement, very tempted to just sleep as Puck pushed his bangs out of his face. But he sniffed and pulled himself out of Puck's hold, grabbing a tissue from his nightstand and wiping his face. He threw it in the nearby trash and looked back at Puck, who was looking at him curiously.

"You have an eyelash," Puck said, "On your chin."

Kurt wiped at the spot and looked back at Noah, but he just shook his head as it stayed stuck to Kurt's skin. "Here, let me get it," he said after Kurt failed at getting it off yet again.

He used his hand to gently push Kurt's chin up and leaned in. His thumb gently pressed against Kurt's chin and carefully pushed the eyelash off. When he finished, his hand stayed still as his eyes darted up to Kurt's, then back down to his lips. As if pulled by an invisible force, Puck started to lean in.

Kurt's eyes widened, not liking how much his heart raced as Puck did so. In a panic, he quietly said, "I got you a gift!"

Puck's eyes darted back up to Kurt's and he dropped his hand as he pulled away, breaking the spell. "Really? Sweet," he said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. What the hell was that?

He awkwardly watched as Kurt got up and went to his computer. Kurt stayed there for a few moments, letting his breathing and heartbeat slow down to a normal speed. When he turned around, it was if nothing had happened. He sat back down next to Puck and dropped a flash drive into his open palm.

Puck looked at it curiously. "It's a flash drive," Kurt explained.

"I know that," Puck said with an eye roll.

"This flash drive has music on it," Kurt continued. As Puck started to say how he didn't want or need anymore musicals on his computer, Kurt explained, "It was going to be a Christmas/Hanukkah present, but I'll find you another one. It's an album called  _All You Will Never Know_ , AKA the complete B-side collection of one Avril Lavine."

Puck laughed in disbelief, "No way! Thanks, Kurt. I didn't even know she had an album full of them."

"Me neither, but I put it on my computer, too, so we can discuss the songs like I know you'll want to," Kurt said, putting his hand on Puck's knee. "I know we'll miss each other, but now we'll have something to remind us of each other, right? Because I've been thinking, if you combine the quote-unquote 'badassery' of yourself and the prissy nature of myself, you'd get something close to Avril. Our music combined kind of makes her, too, when you think about it; rock and punk with a fair amount of pop added in for flavor."

"…True, yeah," Puck laughed, putting the flash drive in his pocket. "I know she's not your favorite or the best of the best, but I still like her. So, you know, I appreciate it a lot that you indulge my not so badass tendencies every now and then." He looked at Kurt and smiled, "Thanks."

"No problem," Kurt said, smiling back.

"Oh," Puck said, suddenly remembering, "I got you a gift, too." He turned around and rifled through his backpack until he pulled out a plastic bag.

Puck looked at Kurt sheepishly, "Um, I came prepared for another excuse you might've had for leaving." Kurt raised an eyebrow and Puck explained, "I thought it was possible—not likely, but possible—that you decided on Dalton because it has a gay dude there and even if that wasn't a reason, I know you like that Blaine guy, so I thought…you might want to get prepared for things. Or that if you got something like this, you'd…stay."

Kurt continued to look confused, so Puck gave Kurt the bag. He pulled out the contents, a bottle and some books, and didn't recognize what they were. With furrowed eyebrows, he looked at the bottle. It was clear and the liquid inside it was clear as well. That seemed like an awful lotion.

Then he looked at the books. " _The Back Passage_?" Kurt read out loud, " _Diving in Deep_?  _Hot Cops_ —Oh God, these are—" He looked back to the lotion, or what he thought was lotion, "That stuff's—oh my God!" He blushed and dropped all the items, covering his mouth with his hands.

Puck had gotten him lube and gay erotica books.

"I know looking at half-naked guys is cool with you but you have a hard time looking at porn, so I thought reading it might help," Puck said sensibly, "I kinda hoped that if you got stuff to jerk off with you'd want to stay. I know it's not the same as having someone do it for you, but I thought it was worth a try."

Kurt looked at Puck, speechless. "…How could you even think I'd move to another school for… _this_?" he asked, holding up one of the books.

"Don't be mad; I was desperate and in denial, okay?"

"Be that as it may, I'm not using these." He pushed them into Puck's arms, "Take them back, I don't want them."

"Kurt, I paid good money for this stuff! Just bring it to your dorm in case you get an urge you'll actually act on in the middle of the night," Puck said, putting the items on top of Kurt's clothes in his bag.

"I get urges!" Kurt said, immediately looking down sheepishly. "…Fine. I'll take them." He looked back up at Puck and snapped, "I'm not saying I'll use them, though."

"You don't have to. I just thought it's a less embarrassing way for you to learn more about gay sex," Puck said with a shrug. He looked at the clock behind Kurt and groaned, "I need to get back soon. Ma has a shift so I have to watch Sara."

Kurt pouted, "I was hoping you could help me move in so I could spend some more time with you. I guess you don't get to see Blaine today, then."

Puck managed not to cheer in relief at that thought.

"I'll take you to your car, then," Kurt said. They stood up and Kurt took Noah's hand, letting his fingers intertwine with his. "Tell New Directions that I miss them and that I wish them luck, okay?" Then he paused and turned to Puck, "Help them get a new member. You need at least one more to compete."

"Why'd you tell me that? If we drop out, your team will actually have a chance at winning," Puck said with a large grin.

"Please," Kurt scoffed, rolling his eyes as they started going up the stairs, "Now that I'm on their team, you guys don't stand a chance."

—

"Okay, Blaine says we can meet him in the west side parking lot," Kurt told his father. He looked up from his phone, "Which way is west?"

Burt turned right in answer to Kurt's question. Even though Carole had tried to make conversation in the car and Finn tried to be supportive, Burt hadn't talked much on the ride there, not because he was angry, but because he didn't know how to say goodbye to his boy. Of course he'd see him on most weekends and he'd be able to call him and talk to him on that Facebook thing that Finn promised to teach him to use, but he hated being away from him. It was painful. For so many years it had just been the two of them, and of course he loved Carole and Finn, but not having his boy at home was going to hurt.

"So is this Blaine…something special, like, y'know…?" he finally asked awkwardly, knowing he had to say something to Kurt since he always talked about the kid (while Puck just glared, which made him wonder how his kid was so oblivious).

Kurt blushed and looked down. "No," he said.

Carole gave a knowing smirk and Finn just flat out asked, "Is he gay?"

"Not everyone at Dalton is gay, Finn," Kurt sighed, already sounding like a brother. "…But, yes, he is—but that doesn't mean anything," he insisted, "Just because two guys are gay doesn't mean we're dating, we can still be friends!" He bit his lip and looked down, leaving out the obvious part of how he wouldn't mind if it was more than that.

When the family got into the parking lot, Blaine was waiting by the doors to the school with his enthusiastic smile. Kurt smiled back even though he still didn't feel quite right doing so; Blaine just made him smile so easily. "Well, he's definitely cute," Carole said.

"He's short," Finn observed.

"So's Rachel," Kurt shot back. Finn just shrugged; he didn't know why Kurt seemed to like this guy so much when he also liked Puck so much. But, then again, he didn't understand anything about Kurt and Puck.

Burt stopped the car next to the curb and Kurt hopped out to greet Blaine.

"Welcome to Dalton, new kid," Blaine teased, shaking Kurt's hand.

"Thanks," Kurt said back with a shy smile as his family—it still was strange and exciting to really have a full family—got out of the car. "My family came to help me move in: Finn and Carole—I know I've told you about them—and this is my father."

Blaine shook all of their hands. "Nice to meet you all…Finn, Mrs. Hudson, Mr. Hummel."

"You can call me Carole," she insisted. She looked over at Burt, expecting him to do the same, but Burt just stared Blaine down.

Now, he always wanted his son to be happy, and if he was happy with this guy and trusted him and they started dating, he'd be okay with it. But that didn't mean he couldn't have a bit of fun and be the intimidating father, right? Especially since he couldn't intimidate Puck as much as he could intimidate this guy if his nervous glance at Kurt meant anything.

"…So, the headmaster has left for the day, so he can't greet you, but I'm one of the greeters for new students, so I'm allowed to take you to your room and show you around and I have your schedule taped up on your door," Blaine explained after a small silence. "Do you need help moving your stuff in?" he asked as Burt opened the trunk to the car. Burt pulled out one of the larger suitcases and Finn got the other as Finn grabbed the trunk of shoes and Carole got the TV and DVD player before Kurt could offer to help. "…Um, Kurt, you realize we wear a uniform, right?"

"Yes, but every moment is an opportunity for fashion; plus I have an extensive moisturizing schedule," Kurt said as he daintily picked up his messenger bag and put it over his shoulder.

"Right…okay then, follow me," Blaine said, opening the door to the building.

Kurt walked up with Blaine as his family trailed behind. "Thank you for volunteering to get me settled in," he said quietly as they walked down the halls.

"It's no problem," Blaine insisted. "I'm just sorry it got so bad. I can't help feeling it's all my fault."

"Oh, no, it isn't! I would've told him off at some point and it probably still would've happened," Kurt said, nervously playing with the strap of his messenger bag.

They walked in silence for a little while until Blaine said, "Where's Noah—I mean, uh, Puck?"

"I wish Noah was here, but he had to watch Sara, his sister," Kurt explained.

"I'm sorry," Blaine said comfortingly, before announcing, "Here we are! The junior dorms." He took a key out of his pocket and led them down to a room where Kurt's name was printed on the whiteboard and his schedule was taped to it. Kurt took it down without looking at the classes as Blaine put the key in the keyhole. Blaine opened the door all the way and held his arm out, indicating the family needed to enter.

Kurt's eyes widened as he walked into it. It was bigger than he expected with two empty beds and desks. Blaine stepped inside once all of them had entered and explained, "Because you're enrolling now instead of at a break, you don't have a roommate, but singles are even more expensive, so you get a double to yourself. You'll get a week's notice if anyone is going to move in with you. It normally takes a week to process all the forms which is why it was surprising that you got in so quickly—"

"You don't know the power of one Sue Sylvester," Kurt explained, putting his messenger bag on the bed.

"Right…" Blaine said again, not sure who Sue Sylvester was even though it sounded familiar.

"So this is really all mine?" Kurt asked, walking around the room and examining it.

"All yours."

"This could make a great vanity," he said as he got to the farther desk, already imagining his portable mirror up on it.

"Don't get too spoiled, now," Burt warned, even though there was a hint of a smile in his voice.

"Do you want us to help you unpack, sweetie?" Carole asked.

Kurt turned around, about to say yes, when he remembered Puck's little gift. His eyes widened and he quickly said, "No!" They all stared at him and explained, "I just don't want you guys to do anything else for me when you've done so much. We can just see where my classes are and then go out to eat like we planned."

"Sounds good," Finn said, already thinking about food.

They all headed out. Blaine led them to where Kurt's classes were and showed Kurt the room the Warblers met in, Finn looking at him sourly at the reminder that Kurt would join their team. Then the family went out to eat at a place Blaine suggested since Kurt's meal plan wouldn't start until the next day.

The goodbyes were still the hardest part. Kurt held onto all of them tightly as they hugged, not wanting to say goodbye. He had just made this new family and he was already being exiled. He would barely see them and he couldn't even give much input into the house hunting! But he promised he'd see them that coming weekend after Sectionals and he waved them off as they drove away.

As soon as he was back in his empty dorm, he ripped open his large bag. The books and lube were right at the top and Kurt blushed and hurriedly shoved them under the bed, too afraid someone would look in his drawer if he put them in there. Of course Puck was already finding ways to make him embarrassed despite how far apart they were.

—

The next day, Kurt nervously carried his breakfast tray to the full room of boys. While they didn't seem unwelcoming, he felt their eyes on him. Probably because he was still in one of his designer outfits instead of in a uniform (he was getting one right after breakfast), but it was still nerve wracking. His eyes scanned the room until he found Blaine and a few other Warblers at a table. He walked over to them as briskly as he could and politely asked, "May I sit here?"

"Of course!" Wes said as Blaine scooted over to make room for Kurt. The other boys Kurt didn't know said their names and Kurt smiled, unable to remember who was who. Kurt placed his tray of fruit, milk, and wheat toast on the table and David raised his eyebrows.

"Um, I promise the food is good here," David said.

"Oh, I bet, it smells good, but I don't like to eat a heavy breakfast and the eggs are whole, not just egg whites," Kurt explained perkily before biting into a strawberry.

"Cool," David said with a shrug. Kurt looked down awkwardly at his plate. Did he seriously already weird out the kids at the most accepting school in the state?

"So…what grade are you guys in?" Kurt asked, trying to make a conversation.

"David and I are seniors," Wes said.

"Oh, like Blaine?" Kurt asked. The table laughed and Kurt's brows furrowed.

"No, Kurt, I'm a sophomore," Blaine said.

Kurt's eyebrows just furrowed more. "Really? You just seemed so…mature."

"Oh, trust us, Kurt, little Blainers over there is not nearly as mature as you think," one of the other Warblers said, Ted or something. Blaine rolled his eyes and took a sip of his orange juice.

"You have a lot to learn about Blaine and Dalton just yet," Wes teased. Kurt smiled as the others laughed good naturedly, feeling a sense of dread form in his stomach.

—

Part of Puck really just wanted to yell at all of his Glee club members for being so stupid. They were arguing over solos and who had sex with who and all of that bullshit so much they seemed to forget that they had lost a member and needed a new one to compete. Jeez, he had lost his best friend yet again and he was more focused on winning than his teammates. Maybe they didn't even deserve the final member that would let them compete.

But then Mr. Schue asked him for help and even with all the bad history behind them, he knew he wanted to help and make Kurt proud. So he went to the locker room, hoping that one guy would see that if someone like him could do Glee club, they totally could, too.

He'd just have to resist the urge to punch Karofsky in the face.

—

"So he said you were good but you tried too hard and that's why you couldn't have a solo?" Puck asked, his eyebrows knotting together. He laid back on his bed, his hand behind his head as his right hand held his phone to his ear.

"Yeah…well, the Warblers are all about blending in, so much so they don't even wear real outfits, just their uniforms, for competitions," Kurt said, his legs curled up against his chest as he leaned against his headboard. "So at McKinley it's all about being the loudest and brightest, but here it's about being just one big group."

"But I thought when you saw them you said that Blaine had a big solo," Puck said, not even trying to be a dick because of Blaine; he was just really confused.

"…Well, yes, and I think he has a solo in our set—"

"So he can stand out but you can't?"

The line was silent for a few moments as Kurt thought over what Puck said. "…I think there's more to it than that," he finally said, not wanting to admit Puck was sounding right.

Normally Puck would've snorted and let it go so Kurt could think, but he was on a roll. "And you've always said that being different is what's the best thing about you. Why would you want to blend in with a group of dickbag singers if you're more than that? Everyone talks about Rachel being a star, but you're just as unique as her, Kurt, and you're also not throwing a fit over not getting a solo unlike her, you're a lot easier to deal with. I don't understand why people don't see star quality in you." Puck barely held himself back from attacking Blaine and his stupid gelled up hair and stupid smile that Kurt always returned. Barely.

"I…I don't know," Kurt finally said, hugging his free arm around his knees.

Puck sighed. As much as he wanted Kurt to get angry and rant about Blaine instead of praising him, he knew Kurt needed time to think about it. Plus he had to update him on current events.

"I'm sorry I didn't call yesterday. I, um, got locked in a Porta Potty."

"It's fine, I was just worried—what?" Kurt nearly screamed, jolting up.

"You told me to get new members and then Schue told me, too," Puck started, "And so I tried to get some football guys to join, but it was kind of my bad to do it in front of Karofsky and Azimio." Kurt frowned at the mention of the name, hard enough Puck could practically feel it on his side of the line, but he said nothing. "So they ganged up on me and it's not like I could do much to fight them off 'cause of parole and all that, so they locked me in a Porta Potty. I didn't think I'd ever get out. I started praying to Jesus and Satan I was so desperate."

"Oh, Noah, why didn't you call—oh, no reception?"

"Yep," Puck sighed, stretching out his arm. "Eventually I got saved and you'll  _never_  guess by who."

"Jacob Ben Israel?" Kurt asked. Puck made a negative noise so Kurt tried another name, "Ms. Pillsbury?"

"Nope. Lauren Zizes."

"Oh my God, like Wrestler Lauren Zizes?" Kurt asked incredulously.

Puck rolled his eyes, "How many other Lauren Zizes do you know?"

"Good point," Kurt said.

"Anyways, so she pulls me out and so it seems like the perfect person to ask to join Glee—"

"Oh my God, no way," Kurt whispered in excitement for where the story was going.

"And she said yes, only if I could do two things. One, get her Cadbury eggs—"

"Those are off season, they must be hard to find," Kurt said sympathetically.

Puck furrowed his eyebrows, "How did you even know that?"

"Noah, shopping's one of my fortes; I know when everything's in season," Kurt said simply. "What was task number two?"

"She wanted seven minutes in heaven…with me," Puck said.

The line was silent for a few seconds as Kurt processed what Puck had just told him. "Wait, you made out with her?"

"Hey, it got the job done," Puck said with a shrug, "And she was actually really amazing. Like, earth-rocking good." Then his eyebrows knitted together again and he added, in a slightly hurt voice, "She said I wasn't very good."

"What? I can't believe that. You've got girls lining up around the block to date you; how could you be a bad kisser?" Kurt said, confused. "I'm sure you're great. I may not speak from experience, but…" The idea only made Kurt think of how it seemed as if Puck was leaning into kiss him that day he left for Dalton, how his heart started racing and his eyes darted to Puck's full mouth that seemed entirely too soft. Just the lean-in that wasn't even a real lean-in was enough to make Kurt's skin flush and Kurt was just his friend; how could anyone think Puck was a bad kisser?

"Yeah, whatever, I think she was just trying to play it cool," Puck said, not sounding entirely convinced. "But I guess I could've tested my abilities again with Rachel, but—"

"Okay, wait, what, slow down, Rachel? Did something happen?" Kurt let out an agitated grunt, "God, why does all the exciting drama happen after I transfer?"

"Well, her and Finn are fighting because you know how he slept with Santana last year?"

"Yeah, everyone knows that."

"Not Rachel," Puck said. "So now they're fighting because Finn said he was still a virgin and Rachel's jealous. So she came up to me and started flirting and…okay, when I was begging for my life in the Porta Potty, I told myself I'd be nicer to people besides you, and eventually I narrowed it down to just Glee club members, so I just walked with her for a bit since she was feeling down. Eventually she tried to proposition me and I was tempted, but I figured if I'm going to see Finn more often because he's your brother and if I want him to be my bro still, I should stop making out with his girlfriends. So I turned her down and left and now I'm here."

Kurt nodded to himself, pleased. "Your life sounds much more interesting than mine right now. I still don't even know people here well enough to hang out with them outside of classes and meals. I'm seriously just laying on my bed in my uniform as I hear chatter outside in the hallway."

"Well, you know what you could do to spice things up," Puck said in a sing-song voice.

"Huh?"

"Those gifts I gave you aren't going to use themselves," Puck explained, his eyebrows waggling as he laughed.

Kurt felt his whole face heat up and he groaned in embarrassment. "Carole almost helped me unpack, right in front of my dad and Finn and _Blaine_. Do you realize how embarrassing that would've been? To have to explain lube and other masturbatory tools to my family and the guy I have a crush on?"

"Dude," Noah said, holding back laughter from entering his voice, "Blaine knows you masturbate, Carole knows you do it, and I'm sure Finn will learn soon enough that you do if he doesn't know already, 'cause you're sharing a room and all right now. Pretty sure your dad knows, too. People jack off; it's what we do to stay alive between hook ups. And, hey, if I can handle waking up and actually feeling your morning wood—"

"Oh my God Noah shut up!" Kurt said in a high scream, his spare hand going to his face in embarrassment. Did Puck really have to bring up _that_?

"Hey, you've felt mine—"

"Oh my God, I'm hanging up on you—"

"Don't waste my gifts, Kurt—"

"Bye!" Puck laughed at his friend's squeaked out the word as the line went silent. After a moment, smile still in tact, he texted Kurt,  _"I was thinking maybe getting u a vibe 2"_.

He swore he could hear Kurt screaming at him from Dalton.

—

Puck knew his role. He knew he was the supportive best friend and was supposed to love Kurt's performance, even if they were competing against each other. And yeah, he loved Kurt's performance, the little snippets he got to see of him as he blended into a sea of red and blue and was stuck in the background while that fucking  _hobbit_  was singing lead. But Blaine was hogging all the attention and that was after he had given Kurt a stupid speech about how the Warblers didn't steal attention in solos. What were those faces Blaine was making, then? Why did Blaine get lead? Why was Kurt stuck in the background?

He already hated Dalton and Blaine Warbler, but the performance didn't help. Kurt deserved to be front and center, not Blaine. Maybe he wouldn't have gotten attention at McKinley, but he wouldn't have been denied for trying too hard. What kind of excuse was that bullshit? It still pissed him off.

But when he saw Kurt after the performance, he just hugged him tightly (if briefly) and told him he did a great job, just ignoring the curly-haired idiot by his side.

—

"A tie is seriously major bullshit," Puck said into the phone with a roll of his eyes.

"I know and you've told me this at least fifteen times already," Kurt said, his phone on speaker as he packed.

"Yeah, well I can't help it that you now remind me of the biggest bullshit moment in show choir history," Puck teased.

Kurt snorted, "I'm sure you're well-read on all the show choir BS moments."

"Oh yeah, took the class and passed it and everything," Puck joked back. The two left for a moment and Puck sighed. "When does your dad get you?"

"Ugh, I swear I'm bringing my car up next semester so I can come down more often. I have the rest of my finals tomorrow but I could leave after them tomorrow if I had a car. But because he's picking me up, I have to wait until the next day super early in the morning. We'll probably stop somewhere for breakfast since I won't let him eat McDonald's anymore. Then we'll drive back to my house and you can meet me there and help me do some last minute packing of the house if you want. Which you should because then you get to see me."

"And what would I ever want to see you for?" Puck teased.

Kurt just ignored the joke and picked up his phone, turning it off speaker. He whispered, "I think Blaine tried to kiss me the other day."

"What?" Puck asked, jolting up and feeling a weird mix of fear and anxiety in his veins.

"Yeah…I texted him because Pavarotti, the warbler they gave me, was acting funny. He came over and he said that he was just molting and he'd get a new coat of feathers soon and it'd be okay. I looked down at Pavarotti and Blaine patted my knee and when I looked up, his face was, like, just a few inches from mine. A total Lean-In move, like when you—like when you see a guy lean in for a kiss in a romantic comedy." He cursed himself internally for almost bringing up what he thought was Puck trying to kiss him at his house.

Puck didn't notice Kurt's slipup, too annoyed at the idea of Blaine kissing Kurt. "What happened then? How did he act?"

"He kind of just pretended like nothing happened but it felt really awkward as he left," Kurt said.

"Hmmm…"

"…I'm probably just making things up, aren't I?" Kurt said in a defeated voice.

"I don't know, Kurt, I wasn't there," Puck said.

Kurt sighed, flopping down on his bed. "I should go study. Or at least sit in one of the beautiful study rooms and pretend like I'm doing something."

"Oh…okay," Puck said, not really ready to get off the phone with Kurt.

"Hey, I'll see you in two days, okay?" Kurt said cheerfully.

Puck smiled, "Yeah, I guess I will. You go off and study in one of your fancy study rooms, then. And remember not to get too spoiled over there."

"I'll only let myself get the tiniest bit spoiled," Kurt teased. "Bye, Noah. Love you."

"Love you, too."

—

"Okay, so he asked me to help him practice for this big performance he's doing, right?" Kurt explained as he and Puck sat on an air mattress in his basement. "And so the song is 'Baby It's Cold Outside', the most romantic Christmas song ever, or, whatever, at least one of the few romantic Christmas songs ever. Anyone else could've practiced with him, I know my voice is high, but they could've done it down the octave, but he chooses  _me_. And he flirted with me the  _whole time_ —but I guess that song is just flirty already—but he was leaning into me and dancing around me, all that jazz. And then we just sit on the couch and we have one of those awkward little laughs like in some romantic comedy and he says that I was much better than that girl would be and then he leaves as Mr. Schue comes in and…" Kurt collapsed back onto his pillow and groaned loudly.

"Uh-huh," Puck said, trying not to show how bored he was. They had been talking about whether Blaine liked Kurt back or not for what felt like hours now, Kurt telling him the story about 'Baby It's Cold Outside' at least five times. He wanted to be supportive, but it would've been easier to just tell Kurt to shut up.

Puck sighed and lied down next to Kurt. "Look," he said bluntly, "I don't know the guy that well, so I don't know what you see in him. But I have no idea why he wouldn't like you. You're hilarious, smart, talented, nice, sassy, and you're a hot piece of ass. If he doesn't like you past being a friend, then he's  _so_ not worth it."

"You're biased," Kurt pointed out, turning to face Noah.

"But I'm right," Puck shot back, putting a hand on Kurt's waist. Kurt still frowned in thought, so, even though he hated saying it, he admitted, "I think he likes you back, he probably doesn't want to make a move because of the whole Karofsky thing."

Kurt thought about it. "Yeah…maybe that's it." He looked back to Puck and smiled, "Thanks, Noah."

Puck just nodded in response. Then he changed the subject. "Okay, you know I'm not an early sleeper, but we should probably get to sleep so we can move everything to your new house tomorrow."

"Yeah…" Kurt said, sitting back up and looking around sadly. "I'm going to miss this place," he admitted. "There are so many memories. The new house is gorgeous, but…" he trailed off and leaned against Puck's shoulder as soon as he sat up.

Wrapping his arm around Kurt, Puck softly replied, "Yeah, me, too…but at least, I mean, no matter what, Mama Kate is with you, you know?" Kurt looked down and Puck continued, "Seriously. Obviously you don't think she's watching over us, but we have pictures and we have memories and we have you…I mean, not only do you look like her, but you're as awesome as she was."

Kurt was silent for a moment longer. He looked up at Noah and smiled softly, his eyes shining. "Thank you, Noah."

"And hey, this new house is two minutes closer to mine."

"Did you time it?" Kurt asked.

"…No…"

"Oh my  _God_ , you dork!" Kurt said with a loud laugh.

"Oh my God, shut up, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!" Finn yelled from the other side of the basement. Kurt put his hand over his mouth to contain his giggles.

"Direct your yelling at Kurt, I was quiet!" Puck insisted, turning to look at Kurt as he kept laughing.

Puck didn't see the pillow Finn threw until it hit him square in the jaw.

—

"I should've known that with Puckerman helping us you would just direct where everything went," Burt said with an amused shake of his head as Kurt propped himself on one of the plastic tubs.

"Hey, I do have the best eye of all of us," Kurt pointed out as Finn closed the door. He held up his arm pitifully and pushed back the sleeve on his T-shirt (he had chosen moving attire despite not doing most of the moving), "And besides, my arm is nothing compared to yours." Kurt pretended to flex it and made a whining noise like he was disappointed at his lack of muscle.

Puck rolled his eyes. "That wasn't even flexing, Kurt, we know—"

"And at least you're not moving furniture since we told the movers where to put that. Now it's just an issue of getting things in order, and I'm good at organizing, and I'll help with the actual unpacking," Kurt interrupted, grabbing his clipboard from the floor. "On here I have all the boxes' numbers down so we can cross off and make sure we brought everything. The number correlates to which floor its on and the letter to which room and when rooms have more than one box, a decimal is added, such as 1C.1, 1C.2—"

"Wouldn't it have just been easier to put what room it goes in?" Burt asked for what was not the first time.

Kurt gave him a blank stare. "Dad. This is me revolutionizing the world of moving for when I become a famous interior designer," he said.

"I thought you wanted to be a singer," Finn said, confused.

Kurt re-crossed his legs and explained, "I want to be either a Broadway star, fashion designer, fashion journalist, counselor, interior designer, interior design journalist, music journalist, movie critic, or Hollywood actor. I'm only a junior so I still have some time to think."

"When did wedding planner get crossed off the list?" Puck asked.

"Since I realized I didn't want to work with Bridezillas," Kurt said simply.

"Then why did you make me pack up your bridal magazines?"

"Why do you still play with your GI Joe action figures?" Kurt said, not even looking up from his checklist.

"Point made. Okay, let's get moving," Puck said, changing topic and picking up a box.

Kurt kept instructing people where to go, checking off the boxes as they went. After a while, Puck took off his T-shirt and lifted boxes in just a tank top. And when Kurt looked up, he found his mouth to be surprisingly dry.

Ever since the Magazine Incident that April Rhodes brought on, Kurt did his best not to think about Puck in any sexual manner. He had been doing a good job until that Lean-In That Wasn't a Lean-In. But now he saw a light sheen of sweat run down those ridiculously muscled arms, arms that held him so well and could wrap around his waist and lift him up into a kiss and—

"Kurt, you okay?" Finn asked, wiping his forehead.

Kurt snapped out of his daze, blushing considerably. Obviously it was time for him to get a real first kiss from a guy so he'd stop imagining everyone trying to kiss him. He was mistaken about Blaine and obviously Noah wasn't trying to kiss him back in his basement because Noah was  _Noah_.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kurt said, crossing off the last box on his list. His eyes still darted up to look at Puck throughout the day, though. Suddenly he wished he brought the erotica books back from school.

—

"Hey," Kurt said as he walked into the kitchen.

"Oh, hey," Finn said, not expecting Kurt to walk in on him in the kitchen so late at night. "Why are you up?"

"I couldn't sleep," Kurt said, "And I figured if I left my room for a bit and came back I'd feel better. You?"

"Same sort of thing. My mind keeps spinning."

Kurt sat down across from Finn, watching him closely. They were brothers now, so he knew he shouldn't feel so awkward around him, but he felt like, despite how he thought last year, he really didn't know Finn at all. "I hope you don't mind, but I heard about the breakup," he said quietly, remembering the long conversation he had with Mercedes after a Warblers' practice because Finn and Rachel had officially split.

Finn shrugged, looking down at his hands. Kurt resisted the urge to sigh. He wanted Finn to trust him, but he obviously wouldn't be able to help if he acted like that. Well, tea always helped Puck talk and relax with him, maybe that would work?

"Do you want some tea or something?" Kurt asked, standing up and getting the ingredients.

"Um, no thanks," Finn said. Then he looked up, "Actually, when I was younger, my mom would make me warm milk, which I thought would be disgusting, but it's actually, like, really good. I'd like that if that's okay?"

Kurt slowly smiled, "My mom made that for me, too. I'll go make some."

It seemed that the warm milk did the trick. Finn started talking about everything, about how he was upset that Rachel got mad at him for who he had sex with when they weren't together, how Rachel told him how she tried to get Puck to make out with her, and how that upset him so much he broke up with her. He told Kurt about how she kept trying to get him back but he just couldn't be with her when her first reaction was to try to cheat on him.

"I know we were fighting, but it's stupid, you know?" Finn said, his glass less than half-full. "Quinn and I both did stupid things like that when we were together and I don't want to do that anymore. I thought Rachel would never do something like that, but…I guess she would." He looked down at his glass and Kurt gave him a sad smile.

"You miss her, don't you?" Kurt asked. Finn nodded and Kurt said, "I know you love her, but I think spending time apart is good for both of you. If it's meant to be, you guys will get back together, I know it."

Finn nodded and looked back up at Kurt. "Thanks," he said with his half-smile that used to make Kurt's stomach flip. Now it just made Kurt smile back because he knew he helped his brother out. "I kinda feel like I should listen to you talk about something now."

"You don't have to do that, Finn," Kurt said.

"I know," Finn said, "But I'm also a guy, so I might be able to help with the whole Blaine thing I heard you talking about with Puck."

Kurt froze and looked at Finn. He seemed genuinely interested and willing to help. "You sure?" Finn nodded and Kurt took a deep breath before launching into a full recap of how Blaine had been acting around him. Finn nodded and listened carefully, taking sips of his milk every now and then.

They'd totally have to do this warm milk thing again.

—

"Why is Puck so close to the TV?" Finn asked in a stage whisper to Kurt.

"The love of his life is going to be on at any moment," Kurt answered.

"Who?"

"Avril Lavigne."

Finn immediately started laughing, the New Year's hat on his head slipping back. Puck turned around with a glare that wasn't quite as powerful as normal because of the New Year's visor on his head. He turned back to the screen and Kurt said, "It's a long story. You know how there are some things from childhood that no matter how bad they are, you still love them? Like certain movies and TV shows?"

"Oh, you mean like Disney?" Finn asked.

Kurt's eyes slowly narrowed in agner as Finn's grew in fear. "No. Not like Disney. Because Disney is great at every age."

"Oh…kay?"

Kurt dropped his glare and went on as if nothing had happened, "Or think about when you're little and you have a toy you really love even though it's not that special or different from the other toys. You love that toy because its yours and that's all that matters, no matter if people think its as cool as you do. And then as you get older, as people start leaving their toys behind, you just can't let this one go, that one stuffed animal or toy piano?"

"Kinda like my old video games no one plays anymore?" Finn asked.

"Yes, exactly like that," Kurt said. "Even if you don't play them as often or even at all, you still love those games and don't want to give them up. They're outdated and none of your friends like them, but you still love them no matter what.

"Puck's version isn't a stuffed animal or book or any item, though; his is Avril Lavigne."

"Hey!" Puck exclaimed as he got up to refill his plastic champagne glass with sparkling grape juice. "She's a badass who changes with each album, she writes her own music, and she gives no fucks what people think about her. And she's hot. I see nothing wrong with liking her."

"Then you won't mind if Finn lets it slip to Mercedes and Tina that you like her?" Kurt asked with a knowing smirk.

Puck pursed his lips and turned to Finn, "Please don't tell anyone." Finn agreed as Kurt laughed. Puck rolled his eyes and sat back down where he was on the floor earlier, grumbling to himself.

"Aw, it's okay, Noah," Kurt said, moving from his spot next to Finn on the couch to Puck's lap, the plastic top hat he was wearing for the occasion falling off as it bumped against Puck's chin. "You know I like her, too, even if she's no Gaga."

Puck was about to reply that he was glad she wasn't like Gaga when the commercials ended and the host of the New Year's Eve party came back on. As she started the introduction, Kurt slid off to sit next to Puck instead of on his lap since Puck was leaning forward, watching intently.

_"With the world premiere of her single 'What the Hell', here's Avril Lavigne!"_

A very pop heavy intro started and Kurt raised his eyebrows. Sure, he loved pop music, but this was seemed almost entirely synthesized. But at least when her vocals came in she sounded live, and he could hear her back up guy singing underneath her, so that was good.

_"All my life I've been good, but now I'm thinking, 'What the hell?' All I want is to mess around and I don't really care about if you love me, if you hate me, you can't tame me, baby, baby. All my life I've been good but now, 'What the hell?'"_ Avril sang on the stage, bopping around and moving to the beat, slowly working with the audience more and more as the song went on. Not really emotionally resonant lyrics, but they were clever and catchy, something he could see teen girls putting as their Facebook statuses when they were going out for a party. And unlike other female pop artists, she wasn't trying to be like Gaga and therefore failing at being like Gaga.

But Kurt knew better than to make any comments aloud as Puck stared at the screen. But as soon as the song ended, he rattled off a list of his thoughts. "Her stage presence has improved tremendously, but she still has a long way to go. She looks happiest playing guitar, I don't know why she or her record company or whoever makes her not play. You can tell she's singing live which is rare in this day and age, so points for that. I love the dress—I know she has a fashion line, maybe she made it herself—and it sounds like her album is going to be as pop heavy as the last one. Think you can handle that?"

He turned to Puck and Puck replied, "Well, I think the song has a bit more of an edge to it than 'Girlfriend' did. Instead of being relationship driven it's about her having fun and it's super catchy, so I dig it. Plus she's still really hot. I wouldn't mind helping her be 'a little crazy'."

"You're disgusting," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes.

"Hey, even non-fans would agree she's hot." Puck turned to Finn, "Right?"

Finn nodded in agreement, "Pretty hot."

Kurt simply got up to get another glass of sparkling juice. Honestly, how was he going to put up with both Noah  _and_  Finn now?


	24. Seize the Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Puck have no idea where they stand in their relationships with Blaine and Lauren, respectively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewrite of "Silly Love Songs" and "Comeback"

Kurt wasn't sure how it really started happening, but him and Blaine started having these little coffee dates.

Okay, not  _date_ dates, but friend dates, so dates nonetheless. While Noah was okay with having tea with Kurt and the occasional cup of coffee, he rarely if ever joined the two of them at the Lima Bean for whatever reason. Kurt didn't push it, especially since it left more time to get to know Blaine so he could, hopefully, win him over and be wooed off of his feet by the Warbler.

Well, that was the original plan. But as time went on, Blaine hadn't made any move like Kurt expected and he was getting quite tired and, he hated to admit it, cynical. Normally he loved Valentine's Day, or at least the idea of it, but as he prepared for yet another one alone, the decorations in the Lima Bean just made his eyes roll. Kurt picked up a pair of stuffed dogs kissing and gave a snort of derision. "Okay, I'm all for flair, but these are just tacky. I mean, what the hell are these supposed to be?"

"It's clearly puppy love! It's cute, come on," Blaine said, smiling his adorable smile as he looked at the creatures Kurt had in his hands. Kurt put it back, jolting when it made a loud kissing noise followed by a giggle.

"Oh, this is creepy."

"Adorable!" Blaine said as Kurt said  _creepy_.

"It's a simple excuse to sell candy and greeting cards on a holiday," Kurt said.

"Not true; people have been celebrating Valentine's Day for centuries," Blaine corrected, "And call me a hopeless romantic, but it's my favorite holiday."

"Really?"

"I think there's something really great about a day where you're encouraged to just lay it all on the line and say to somebody, 'I'm in love with you.'" He turned to face Kurt in the line, "You know?"

Kurt swallowed and nodded. He knew all to well how much he wanted to tell Blaine how he felt, of course other people had to feel like he did.

"And this year I want to do something really radical so I need your opinion on this." Kurt nodded and Blaine continued, "But there's this guy that I sort of…like." Kurt's heart literally skipped a beat as Blaine put his heart on the line, "And I've only known him for a little while," they had only known each other for a little while, "But I want to tell him that I think my feelings are starting to change into something…deeper," Kurt's feelings were deeper than friendship, were Blaine's? "So I have to ask…" Kurt had to remind himself to breathe until Blaine finally asked, "Do you think it's too much to sing to somebody on Valentine's Day?"

He felt his heart speed up at the thought. Getting wooed via song? If it was him that Blaine was talking about, of course. It took him a moment to finally reply, "Not at all." The two smiled at each other, Kurt hoping Blaine was feeling the same thing he was.

"What can I get you?" the barista asked, taking Kurt out of his thoughts.

"A medium drip and a grande nonfat mocha for this guy," Blaine said, nodding towards Kurt, "And maybe I can get him to split one of those Cupid cookies."

Kurt felt like his heart was actually smiling. "You know my coffee order?"

"Of course I do," Blaine replied, like it was the most obvious fact in the world.

"That'll be $8.40."

Kurt started to pull out his wallet but Blaine pushed his hand away, "Don't even bother, dummy, it's on me." He paid the barista, telling her to keep the change as Kurt was frozen, practically feeling the dopamine or endorphins or  _something_  rushing through his veins, like he really cared about biology at that moment. Blaine was obviously going to ask him out for Valentine's Day!

"I do believe I have a new favorite holiday."

—

" _And you…shook me alllll niiiiiight looooong!_ "

Kurt was holding a possible shirt option in front of his body as he looked in his mirror at Dalton (not as good as his full length mirror at home, but he was making it work) when his phone started playing the old tune. With a large smile, he skipped over to his bed and picked up his phone, "Hey!"

"Someone is excited."

"I haven't heard your ringtone in a while, Noah, I'm glad to hear from you," Kurt chirped, his legs bouncing on his bed as he waited to tell his best friend his news. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call?"

"Hey, I can't talk to my best friend?" Puck asked. "It sucks how busy we both are, ya know, hard to find time to talk and you aren't home every weekend."

"Yeah…" Kurt said with a sigh, "But I guess getting out of our comfort zone is good. As long as you're aware if anyone else tries to claim the title of your best friend I will be forced to do unspeakable things to them."

Puck laughed quietly before admitting, "Okay, but I also need some advice, if you don't mind."

"What else am I here for?" Kurt said, lying back on his bed.

"I like this girl and I need to know—"

"Wait, uh-uh, you don't get off that easy," Kurt interrupted. "Who is it? Please tell me you're not going after Santana again, you know you were more hurt by her breaking up with you than you'll ever admit—"

"No, it's not Santana," Puck sighed, laying down on his own bed. "It's Lauren."

It took a few moments for Kurt to realize who he was talking about and then a bit longer to find out how he wanted to react. "…I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You said she was a good kisser," Kurt said, something upsetting him that he couldn't quite recognize.

"Yeah, but not just that; she's a total badass! She doesn't care what people think and she's so independent. Like Quinn and Santana act strong, but underneath they're all vulnerable. Lauren is all strength, it's so different from anyone I know. She doesn't need people taking care of her."

Kurt felt an odd pang in his chest. Of course Noah loved the idea of being with someone who actually didn't need to be taken care of after having to take care of Kurt for years. Sara, Mae, Santana, Quinn, Kurt…all people who needed more help than they let on. "Yeah, cool."

"You okay?" Puck asked, noticing Kurt's tone.

"Of course," Kurt said, shaking himself out of his funk.

"Okay…" Puck said, still unsure, but he launched into the rest of his dialogue. "The problem is that when I gave her chocolate, y'know, for Valentine's, she said it was a bad gift despite eating them all. She just, like, yanks me along. She has me whipped already and I don't know how to get her to like me since she's so different than the girls I've dated. I can't just use my usual charms because she demands more than that, she won't spread her legs if I just look her way, I don't know what to do."

"Noah, you really like her, right? It's not just about kissing and all of… _that_?"

"Yeah," Puck said, nodding (even though Kurt couldn't see it)

"Okay. On one hand, you need to treat her differently because you actually like her. On the other hand, you can't treat her differently because of who she is. What have you done to get other girls in relationships?" Kurt asked, trying to lead Puck in the right direction.

"Well…Santana kind of asked me in middle school and it wasn't much of a relationship. With Quinn I kept talking to her and tried to be there for her. I wanted her to know I wasn't a Lima Loser, but Lauren won't give me the time of day," Puck thought out loud, "…And I sang for Rachel and that just got her going."

"When you sang for Rachel, don't you think it made her feel special?" Kurt asked. "It means you practiced and put together something just for one person, that you put effort into wooing them. Singing for someone? Very romantic." Kurt thought briefly of Blaine singing for him and smiled, though he wasn't as excited as he had been earlier at the thought.

"I guess since Schue wants us to sing love songs anyways I could do that. Something that explains how I feel about her."

Kurt nodded, "She'd be crazy not to love it."

"Awesome. Thanks, Kurt," Puck said, pulling out his old iPod so he could look through songs to sing. "So, what's up with you?"

"Not much," Kurt said before admitting, in a sing-song voice, "But I think I'll be getting a boyfriend soo-ooon!"

Puck sat straight up, "What? Who? Blaine?"

"Blaine!" Puck didn't get to even process the blow as Kurt launched into an explanation, "We were getting coffee, like we do, and he was talking about how he wanted to sing for someone for Valentine's Day, someone he was starting to like more than just friends, and he bought me coffee—he knew my order! Of course, he hasn't asked me  _officially_ , but don't be surprised if I call you with the news soon!"

"Oh…" He corrected himself, "That's awesome, Kurt. Congrats. As long as you tell me first; I don't wanna be surprised again."

"You'll be the first to know, I promise," Kurt said. "Same with you and Lauren."

"I promise." Puck remained silent for a moment longer before saying, "I'd better go, I actually have to cook dinner tonight 'cause Ma has work. Sara will be calling any min—" He was cut off by the sound of sister calling out to him. Kurt and Puck both laughed and he finished, "Yeah, I guess I should go. I'll see you this weekend, right?"

Kurt sighed, "Mercedes and I are having a sleepover Friday night…at Rachel's house—don't say anything, Puckerman, just because we're getting along better doesn't mean I cared about her last year like you said I did."

Puck held back a chuckle as best as he could. "Uh huh. Sure." Then he frowned slightly, "So no traditional Friday night sleepover? I'm guessing her dads wouldn't approve of me coming over."

"Even if they did, you can't come over; Mercedes and Rachel want a girls night," Kurt explained. "But unless something happens I plan on staying until Sunday afternoon so we will definitely hang out before I go back."

"Yeah, we better—"

"NOAH!"

Puck sighed at his sister's scream, "Gotta run. Bye, see ya soon. Love you."

"You, too."

—

"I should call Noah and break the news that we won't be hanging out tomorrow after all," Kurt said, pulling out his phone. "Sorry, girls, I know it's girls night and everything, but…"

"No, it's fine, just don't take too long," Rachel said.

"Yeah, we can't watch any French movie without you here," Mercedes teased, holding up the DVD case for the first movie on their marathon list,  _Jeux d'enfants_.

"True," Kurt agreed with a half-smile. "Singing back up as the guy I'm in love with sings to someone else. When did that become my life? Well, at least this time he's gay unlike the others. First time I had a chance like that."

Rachel bit on her lip as if holding herself back from saying something. Finally, as Kurt was heading towards the bathroom for privacy, she blurted out, "Just because he's the first out guy you've met doesn't mean no one else you know doesn't like you that way."

Kurt turned to her, one hand on the doorknob, and quirked a brow. He immediately thought of Karofsky, but there was no way Rachel knew about that. "Is there someone I should know about?"

Mercedes gave Rachel a small glare before saying, "I think she just means that there's hope out there." She turned back to Rachel, "Right?" Rachel nodded and Kurt looked between the two of them, feeling as if they were hiding something from him. When they didn't say anything else, he shrugged and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

As soon as the door was closed, Mercedes hissed, "Rachel, I told you repeatedly that we cannot push the two of them together. It's failed for everyone!"

"I know, I know," Rachel whispered back, "I just…Kurt's becoming a friend now and I want him to be happy, same with Noah. It's hard not to push."

"Says the girl who tried to push herself onto Puck just over two months ago?" Mercedes pointed out.

"…I was desperate and upset, I wasn't thinking clearly," she said, avoiding eye contact. Then she perked up, "If Kurt knew how good Noah was at kissing, maybe he'd—"

"No, Rachel, don't even think about it. As someone who's been his friend for years, trust me, I know it's hard," Mercedes said with a sigh, "But if you do anything, it has to be subtle at least. They're obvious as all hell and they don't even realize it, an obvious action won't help them at all."

Rachel frowned but nodded as she hugged a pillow to her chest. In between not forcing herself on Finn and not forcing Kurt on Puck, things were going to get hard.

—

"So, how was the Gap Attack?" Puck asked into his cell.

"Awful," Kurt said, looking down at his lap. "It was awful. I mean, Blaine sounded great and the rest of the group provided great harmonies, but…it hurt."

Puck made a sympathetic noise. "I'm so sorry, Kurt."

"It didn't work out for him, though; the guy turned him down and lost his job, apparently," Kurt said. "He wasn't out and the public display pissed off his boss, I guess. So Blaine definitely lost that one. But do you realize how hard it is to cheer up a friend for losing a guy when the guy must be an idiot to not even like him?"

"Now you know how I feel," Puck said with a laugh.

Kurt rolled his eyes, "You know what I mean. Blaine doesn't even realize how happy he could be with me. I feel like I'm stuck in a Taylor Swift music video."

"Ah, so you're 'Tired of Drama'?" Puck asked, proud of himself for being able to make a reference to that.

Kurt finally let out a small laugh, "Exactly that, yes." He lay down on his bed and sighed, "As nice as it was being able to say I helped him out, I wish I had spent the time with you, instead. I miss you."

"Same. I guess there's always next weekend, right?" Puck asked.

"Definitely. So do you need any help on the Lauren front?"

"Actually, no, I think I got this down. I'm going to ask her out tomorrow for a pre-Valentine's date, show her I'm good at making out when I haven't been stuck in a Porta Potty for a night, and then we'll be solid," Puck said. "And, I promise, no more 'Fat Bottom Girls'. I got this shit down."

"Well, if you say so," Kurt smiled, "Tell me how it goes, okay? Minus the making out parts. I don't need to hear about that."

"Because you have those books to supply those stories for you," Puck teased.

Kurt made a scandalized noise, glad that Puck wasn't there to see that one of the books was sitting on his bedside table, just waiting to be read that night.

—

"Hey, Kirstie—Lauren," Santana called out, reminding herself to not call her anything rude. She was actually going to try to be helpful for once, she couldn't be her usual self.

Lauren turned around and nodded at her, "Lopez?"

Santana stepped closer to her and looked around her, making sure Puckerman was nowhere in sight. "So Puck seems pretty…into you."

"I guess he came to his senses and realized I'm a hot piece of ass. Why?"

"You just should be forewarned that, since you weren't in Glee club earlier and you don't know…Puck is kind of attached to someone else," she said.

"Who? You?" Lauren asked with a slight laugh.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Ugh, no. I'm over him; it was all about sex with him anyways, and he's not that great." She cleared her throat and continued, "You may not notice this as much because they're…different when they're in the choir room, but him and Kurt? They're as much of a couple as you can be without being official. They're touchy feely and emotional and flirty and all of that. Everyone thinks they're just best friends, but, trust me, they aren't. I wouldn't be surprised if Kurt has sat on more than his lap if you know what I mean."

Lauren shut her locker and gave Santana a quizzical look. "Sounds a lot like two other people I know. You sure you aren't describing you and Brittany instead?"

Santana exhaled sharply before looking up at Lauren with a fiery glare. "This is not about me and Brittany. We're just friends and that's all we'll ever be. I'm trying to actually be nice and warn you so you don't get hurt like the rest of us girls have, but, whatever, Zizes, go and get your fat ass burned, I don't care anymore," she spat out. She turned around on her heel and marched off, cursing herself for even trying to help someone out. She wouldn't even hold Brittany's pinky anymore if that's what people really thought of her.

—

Kurt looked over at his phone as it started playing Puck's ringtone. It was way too early for Puck to be back from his date. With eyebrows furrowed together in thought, he picked it up. "Hello?"

"She stood me up!" Puck yelled out immediately.

"What?!"

"Lauren! She stood me up!" he said, pacing in the cold air outside of Breadstix. "I asked her out, she said yes, and she's over an hour late!"

"Oh my God, Noah, I am so sorry—"

"God, Kurt, I did  _everything_  right, she loved it so much, I could tell from that look in her eye, and she still said no! What did I do to deserve this? Why am I already being whipped by her when we aren't even dating?"

"I don't know, Noah—"

"I'm just so  _pissed_!"

"I can tell," Kurt said with a sigh.

"It's just…why do people suck so bad, Kurt? And why, just because I'm a guy, have to make all the moves and why does she, as the girl, have to have all the power?" He ranted. "Girls can make moves on guys, you know! Girls don't have to tease, they can be straightforward! This is the twentieth century after all, right?"

"Twenty first," Kurt corrected.

"See, even better! I'm tired of this shit!" He kicked over a nearby trashcan and sat down. In a slower pace, he continued, "I don't get this whole being coy bullshit. She likes me, I like her, why is she acting like this?" He sighed and ran a hand through his Mohawk, not even thinking as he said, "You're so lucky that you like just dudes, Kurt. Guys don't have to worry about that. You both can be straightforward, you both can make the move, there's no need to hold back about it."

"Well, not unless you want romance," Kurt pointed out, even as his the wheels in his mind started turning.

Puck snorted. "What's the point of having some elaborate getting together moment? The sooner you get with someone, the sooner you can fall in love and actually  _do_  the romantic shit. The sooner you hook up, the sooner you can have anniversaries and big dinners and stuff like that. Holding it off for The Perfect Moment or The Perfect Kiss or whatever? That's stupid as hell. You can't have an epic romance until you're together, those movies are full of lies, Kurt. It's creepy to pull off romantic moves on someone you just met! Trust me, seizing the moment is the best choice you can make.  _That's_  more romantic than waiting."

Kurt sat in a stunned silence for a while. Puck was absolutely right. He had been waiting for Blaine to make the moves even though he had no reason to wait. He had longed for a perfect romantic moment, but that wasn't going to happen if they weren't even together. He had wanted an epic romance, but he couldn't, have one if they weren't even together. Why was he waiting? If he kept waiting, Blaine might never make the move.

"You're right," Kurt said softly.

"Hell yeah I'm right," Puck agreed, looking over his shoulder. Over by the kitchen doors there was a waitress he had noticed earlier. He gave her a flirty smile and she gave one back.

"I've got to go," Kurt said, standing up and looking in the mirror.

"Me, too. I'm going to get some tail to make up for tonight."

Normally Kurt would've told him off for that, but instead he just said, "Have fun. And thank you."

"Yeah, no prob," Puck said as he stood up, not even thinking about what Kurt could be thanking him for. "See ya soon."

As soon as Kurt was off the phone, he stuffed it into his pocket and walked out the door. He walked in a determined manner to the Warbler's practice room, knowing somehow that Blaine would be there.

Blaine looked up from his homework and smiled at Kurt. "Hey, Kurt, thanks for the pep talk yesterday—" His words were cut off as Kurt leaned over the table and fiercely pressed his lips against his.

Kurt pulled away as he realized, Oh God, he was being as bad as Karofsky, he was forcing someone to kiss him without his permission. "Oh my God, Blaine, I'm sorry, I…" he sat down next to Blaine on the couch and put his head in hands for a brief moment. When he looked back at Blaine, the boy was watching him with wide eyes full of…was that lust or was Kurt seeing things?

"I like you, Blaine," he said, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. "A lot. I had hoped you were going to sing to me. I've been hoping since I met you that you'd feel the same. I…I'm so sorry that I did that. I shouldn't have forced you, I just…I decided I should make the first move."

Blaine blinked several times before speaking. "Kurt…I'm not good at romance, you've seen that. And I'm so glad to have you as my friend. I know nothing about relationships, though."

"Me neither," Kurt said. "I just want one, with you."

"…I think I do, too," Blaine said, "But we're great friends. What if I ruin that?"

"What if you don't?" Kurt countered back. "Shouldn't we seize the moment?"

Blaine continued to look at Kurt for a moment before slowly smiling back. "Valentine's is still my favorite holiday, after all. I wouldn't mind it being an anniversary," Blaine said. Kurt smiled back at him as the two leaned in again until their lips were pressed together in a calm, sweet kiss.

—

"Then you're on for Valentine's Day. As friends," Lauren said before leaving Puck and his smiling face.

She would never tell it to Santana, of course, but the girl had a point. She never saw the two of them together in the choir room, of course, but she had seen them around school. She wasn't an idiot, even if most of the school was. And no way was she going to step between those two, no matter what.

But in the mean time, she didn't see what was wrong with making a friend out of him. He was cool and a badass like her and she needed connections in Glee club so she could make that solo she was planning. She didn't need to be in his pants to be hanging out with him.

—

As soon as the Warblers finished their set for the audience at Breadstix—mainly Kurt's crowd of friends from McKinley—Kurt rushed out into the audience to Puck. The two hugged, Kurt's arms around Puck's neck as he spun him around, causing Kurt to get dizzy much sooner than he expected.

"It's been way too long," Kurt said as Lauren raised her eyebrows, definitely getting Santana's point from earlier. Giggling as he returned to his feet, he grabbed Puck's hand, "I need to tell you something." He looked over at Blaine and held up a finger, mouthing he'd be back in a minute. Blaine smiled and nodded, sitting down with Mercedes and some people he didn't know from Kurt's old school.

When the two were outside, Kurt said, "So we agreed to tell the other first if anything happened with our relationship status."

"Yeah. Lauren and I are just friends for now, she wants to take it slow," Puck said, assuming Kurt was going to reprimand him.

"Good. I'm sure you can turn her around," Kurt said, still grinning. "But I have something to tell  _you_ ," he said in a singsong voice. With a slight squeal, he announced, "Blaine and I are dating!"

Puck felt like all of the air had been punched out of him. "What?"

"Uh huh!" Kurt said, assuming Puck couldn't believe it much like he couldn't believe it himself. "After we got off the phone last night, I realized I just couldn't wait for him to make the moves. You're right; even if I was a girl, which I'm not, I can make the moves and if I want romance, I can't just wait around for it to happen to me. So I marched up to him and kissed him and we talked and kissed and talked some more…I've kissed a boy now, Puck! A boy I actually like who likes me and I get it, I get why you like it so much, and I get why people love it and make out, I get it! And I have a boyfriend! I actually have a boyfriend on Valentine's Day! And all because of you!" He smiled brightly at Puck, "Thank you."

Puck smiled weakly. "I'm happy for you," he said, thought he wasn't sure he meant it. On one hand, it was awesome that Kurt was with someone, but, on the other, he didn't think that Blaine kid deserved to be with him.

"We decided we'll take it sort of slow, but we're telling people tonight and we're making it Facebook official tomorrow. Then I'll be back this weekend to talk to dad about it so he doesn't freak out, so we can still hang out this weekend," Kurt said. "Don't worry. No matter who I'm with, I'm not going to give up spending time with you. I'm great at balancing schedules out."

The other boy nodded. "Good. Because bros before hoes, right?" Puck said, knowing he wasn't always the best at that rule as he pulled Kurt in for a hug.

"Totally," Kurt agreed, closing his eyes and absorbing up Puck's warmth as best as he could in the chilly night air. After a few moments, he pulled away, "I better go inside so Blaine can officially meet everyone. As my boyfriend." Kurt smiled again and flounced inside

As the Valentine's Day party went on, Puck watched as Kurt chatted easily with Mercedes and Rachel, the whole room now aware that Kurt was no longer single. He took a long sip of his Coke, wishing it was accompanied with some rum, when Blaine sat down next to him.

"Hey," he said cheerfully. Puck gave him a nod and his best attempt at a not glare. Blaine's smile fell a little bit. "Look, Noah—Puck," he corrected, "I wanted to talk to you."

"Well, look at you, getting what you want," Puck said sarcastically.

"Yeah…Puck, I'm not an idiot," Blaine said, "I'm aware you don't like me. It's pretty obvious, even if Kurt doesn't see it." Puck looked back over to Kurt as Blaine did, watching him laugh at something Mercedes had said. Blaine looked back to Puck and continued, "But I don't hate you and I'm not trying to get in the way of you and Kurt. I admire your friendship and how open you are. Most straight guys can't be friends with gay guys, they get all freaked out. I lost a lot of friends when I came out; even my family had a hard time with it."

"Is there more to this than some sob story?" Puck asked.

"What I'm trying to say is that…we don't have to be friends, but can we at least get along? For Kurt's sake?" Blaine asked. "I'm not good at this stuff, Puck, I don't know how relationships work, but I want to try, and Kurt does, too. Could you at least give us a chance?"

Puck glared him down as he thought on it. It was nice seeing Kurt so happy and bubbly about it, that was true, and the truth was, he didn't really know Blaine. Maybe he'd be good for Kurt. "I'll do my best," Puck finally said with a nod.

Blaine grinned and held out his hand, "Thanks, Puck. I'll do my best to be a good boyfriend for Kurt." Puck shook back, not noticing Kurt looking at his two boys with a smile. It was definitely the best Valentine's Day he had ever had.

—

"Kurt, it's been, like two weeks since Valentine's Day, are you already so attached to Blaine's mouth you can't call me?" Puck joked, knowing he was busy, too.

Kurt groaned and shook his head, even if Puck couldn't see him. "No," he said in a raspy voice, causing Puck to raise his eyebrow. Kurt _never_  got sick. "Blaine's not even in town right now—family vacation." Kurt sniffed and continued, "I must have accidentally had the same glass as Finn or something; the nurse says I probably have mono."

"Shouldn't you come home if you have that?" Puck asked.

"I don't have the energy to drive home," Kurt pointed out, "And Carole and my dad are having a little getaway since they didn't have a honeymoon. The nurse gave me permission to stay here until Finn can get me, so I'm just hiding in my room, eating whatever food she brings me. No one can even visit me since the Warblers can't get sick right before Regionals."

Puck frowned; he sounded completely miserable. "How about I visit you tomorrow? I've had it, I'm like, immune. That way you can have a visitor. I can stay the night and drive you home the next day so you can sleep in your own bed."

"I don't want you to miss school for me—"

"When was the last time I learned anything in school?" Puck asked with a raised eyebrow. "Plus I need to get you caught up on drama. Mercedes and Rachel had a fight and Sam is dating  _Santana_  now."

It was a true testament to how tired Kurt was that he didn't fight it off after that. "Okay. I'll email the housing people so they know you're coming. Thanks, Noah." He sniffed again and groaned, "I finally get a boyfriend and I might have infected him."

"At least it's not crabs," Puck said thoughtfully.

—

" _You know you love me, you know you care!_ " Puck sang, trying to give the little bit hair attached to his hoodie the most movement possible. It was awesome making Kurt laugh, even if it didn't seem to affect Lauren's decision on their relationship.

"You have to stop, Noah, I can't…" he gasped for air, lighting holding onto his throat. Puck graciously sat down next to Kurt as he started to calm down. "Even laughing hurts. Mono sucks."

"There's a reason people don't like being sick," Puck said as Kurt sat up a bit, "And look who actually is taking care of their hair for once while you don't? I'm just that awesome." He adjusted his fake bangs a la one Kurt Hummel.

"Take that stupid thing off," Kurt said with a quiet giggle, pushing the hood off of Puck's head. Puck laughed with him as Kurt's phone went off with an obnoxious Katy Perry song.

Puck rolled his eyes but let Kurt answer. "Hi Blaine," he said in the most flirtatious voice he could manage while sick. He giggled quietly, "I'm fine, thank you for asking. Noah volunteered to stay with me, so we're hanging out, waiting for our pizza to get here…yeah, it's great of him, isn't it?"

"I'm a pretty great guy," Puck said in response, putting the hoodie back on as Kurt continued to talk. He knew he'd only talk for a bit, especially since their pizza would be there any moment because the only awesome part about Kurt being sick was that he didn't care about his diet.

Kurt was still talking a few minutes later as there was a knock on the door. Kurt sat up, about to get up, but Puck shook his head, "I'll get it." He took the money they pooled together off of the bedside table and opened the door, giving his best Bieber look as it opened. The look, however, soon fell off his face when he saw who was there.

"…Sam?" Puck asked.

The blond boy blinked in shock, his mouth slightly open. "Puck?" Kurt peered around from his spot in bed and Sam realized he was truly caught.

"…I have to go, Blaine," Kurt said quickly into his phone before turning it off.

"Um…here's your pizza? I guess I should, um, head home…" Sam said, pushing the box into Puck's hand.

"Dude, don't forget the money and tip," Puck said, holding it out.

"Are you done for the night?" Kurt asked as Sam took the money back.

Sam looked up at Kurt and slowly nodded. "Yeah. I'm done."

Kurt nodded, "Want to join us, then? I don't really feel well enough to eat that much…" He couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong and he wanted to help however he could.

Sam looked in between the two of them. Puck nodded, so he said, "Um…sure."

In between bites of pizza and breadsticks, Kurt got Sam talking. Sam told him how his dad lost his job and how he was looking, but work was hard to come by. He told him how they could barely afford their house and would probably move back to Tennessee as soon as the school year was up; his parents didn't want to interrupt his or his siblings' education. Sam was doing everything possible to make his parents' life easier; he was working, he watched his little brother and sister, and, to Kurt's shock, he had sold a lot of his clothes.

"I mean, they weren't much, but it was something, you know? I didn't want to make them pay for something I don't need. But I may have sold too much; I've been wearing a lot of the same shirts over and over, but I've put sweatshirts over so people don't notice…we're probably going to tell the church soon so we can get some help. I don't want to, especially since Quinn goes there with us…" Sam swallowed roughly, not wanting to think about how Quinn would pity him even more and how Quinn was the whole reason why Kurt even had mono to begin with.

Kurt frowned and stood up as best as he could, his legs wobbling for a moment from lack of use. He quickly went over to his wardrobe and pulled out some shirts, throwing them on the floor. "Kurt…?" Puck asked as he threw his old, floral coat onto the ground.

"I don't need them," Kurt said. He turned to look at Sam, "Take these. Use them. Do whatever you want with them. I want to help in anyway I can, and dressing is my strongest suit by far. I promise I won't give you anything too chic or too much like, well, me. I have clothes at home that are too large that should fit and I know Puck has some extras he can give you. Maybe Sara has some old clothes your sister can wear, too."

Puck nodded, "Yeah, she has a lot of old stuff." He gave Sam a sympathetic look and pulled off his hoodie. "Kurt and I used to be next door neighbors until my dad left. We had to move to a new place to afford it and I had to give up a lot of things so my sister could have stuff instead. I buy everything I can with my own money. I know the feeling."

"You guys don't have to help me…"

"But we want to," Kurt said, picking up his shirts and sitting back down on his bed; that whole standing thing wasn't work out too well.

Sam looked between the two of them yet again before finally caving. "Thanks, guys. I appreciate it. Just…please don't tell anyone."

Kurt smiled brightly, "Of course." He started folding the shirts and said, "So, now that you're here, can I get a full performance from half of the Justin Bieber Experience?"

After just one performance and about half an hour of talking, Kurt passed out on his bed, the shirts neatly folded in his lap. Puck smiled softly at him and took the shirts, handing them to Sam.

"Thanks again," Sam whispered, taking them in his hands. "I really appreciate it."

"No prob," Puck said, holding the door open for him. "I'll text you when I have the rest of the clothes."

Sam nodded and left. As he walked back to his car, he smiled to himself. It felt nice having help from friends, even if his original feelings for Kurt were slightly more than that. All that mattered was that he finally had people he could trust in Lima.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the latest chapter I've written as of 1/27/13. I promise to do my best to write faster, but my major is a busy one and this semester has a very important event happening for my major. Please forgive me if I still struggle at getting things up quickly. Thank you for reading and I really hope you like it!


	25. The Sexual Liberation of Kurt Hummel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt, Puck, and Blaine attend the Rachel House Party Extravaganza to mixed results. This leads to Kurt having to face his sexual issues and finally get The Talk™. Meanwhile, Blaine starts to get a bit jealous of Puck and Kurt's closeness. Rewrite of "Blame It" and "Sexy".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Scenes of a sexual nature; brief mention of statutory rape

"Hey, my computer is still at the store being repaired, mind if I use yours real quick to send an email?" Kurt asked, leaning in towards his brother's room. He held up a blue flash drive and explained, "It's a paper I wrote before my computer snapped on me and I need to send it tonight to get full credit."

Finn looked up from his comic book and nodded after a moment of thought. "Sure," he added, nodding at his old desktop as Kurt carefully made his way through the mess of clothes on the floor.

"Good, or else I would've guilted you with the fact that you gave me mono," Kurt teased as he put the flash drive in the USB port.

Finn rolled his eyes but gave his signature half-grin. "You're really embracing this little brother role, aren't you?"

"Just because I'm older than you doesn't mean I can't tease you and use your wrong doings to guilt you," Kurt replied simply. It was quite true; Finn was quite upset when he saw Kurt curled up in bed with a raging fever, hating that he had accidentally got Kurt sick. And Kurt may have milked it a bit so he didn't have to be by himself. Or fluff his own pillows. Or turn the pages of his magazines.

"Just because I'm younger than you by a few months doesn't mean I can't act like the bigger brother. Because I literally am," Finn said. It was a conversation they had almost every day when Kurt was home; Finn had wanted a younger brother to chill with when he was younger and Kurt wanted an older brother to protect him when he was younger, so their dynamic actually worked well, Kurt just liked to point out his age whenever possible.

As soon as the email was sent, Kurt went to properly remove the flashdrive from Finn's computer, noticing a file on his desktop labeled "Porn." Just a year ago he would've been dying to find out what kind of porn Finn looked out so he'd have an idea of what he found attractive—Kurt would've bought the laciest underwear and all the assless, leather pants in the world if Finn liked it, all the while crossing his fingers and hoping there'd be at least one item of porn with a dick involved. But now? Ugh, no thanks.

He right clicked on the flashdrive icon when he realized something—why would Finn actually label his folder  _porn_? No one did that, they put it in a mundane place where people wouldn't look—well, that's what Noah said, since Kurt had stuck to his erotica. Finn had to be hiding something really embarrassing in there.

His lips turned up into a smirk as he looked over at Finn. Finding him engrossed in  _Spiderman_  again, Kurt double clicked the file, ready to find what Finn had hidden.

It didn't take long for laughter to escape his lips and catch Finn's attention.

"What?" Finn asked, his eyebrows furrowing as he moved closer to Kurt. When he saw what Kurt had pulled up, he felt the blood leave his face.

"You…you write l-love poems…t-to Rachel?" Kurt asked in between giggles as Finn turned beat red. He closed the window on the screen and pulled out Kurt's flashdrive, ignoring the shouts of how that wasn't the proper way of taking it out.

" _Wrote_! And you don't understand, Kurt, it was going to be part of her Christmas gift before she and I…" he trailed off and rolled his eyes, shoving the flashdrive into Kurt's hands. At least Kurt didn't see the unprinted letter he had written to Quinn last week to try to sort out his feelings. "Look, I'm not that mad, just…I write things in there when I'm trying to sort things out. Like, nothing weird, and they aren't all poems, I just wanted to make something for Rachel, maybe make it a song since she'd've loved that. Just keep it on the down low, okay?"

The other boy gave him a sympathetic look. "Well, as your friend, I want to keep this a secret and protect you." Finn smiled slightly, until Kurt spoke again, "…But as your 'little' brother, I want to keep a hold on this knowledge until it serves me best to reveal it." Kurt smiled impishly and clasped his hands together. "Goodnight, Finn," he said in a singsong voice as he left the room, smirking to himself. Finn had no idea how Kurt would use that against him, but he watched Kurt leave with a sense of dread in his stomach.

—

The first thing Kurt did when he got to Rachel's House Party Extravaganza, after chastising Rachel for not inviting him herself, was attack Puck with a big, tight hug. The first thing Noah did when Kurt hugged him tight, after just enjoying the hug, was whisper in his ear, "This party is lame as  _fuck_."

"Well, at least you told me about it. Finn didn't even mention it and I have dirt on him. Doesn't that mean he's supposed to tell me things like this? So I won't spill it?"

Puck chuckled. "You've got a way to go, but you're catching onto this little sibling thing well."

After a moment's thought, Kurt decided to take it as a compliment. "Thank you," Kurt laughed as he pulled away and then turned to Blaine, giving him a smile. Blaine awkwardly nodded back, not quite used to Kurt and Puck being, well, Kurt and Puck now that he was dating Kurt. He felt a bit like he was intruding on something important.

He couldn't focus on it for much longer, however. Rachel grabbed his and Kurt's attention and instructed them on how the party was going to work. They were each given two drink tickets so they could have two wine coolers each. Kurt raised a brow; he hadn't had a drink since he threw up on his guidance counselor the last school year, but he knew that two drinks didn't get anyone drunk.

That was confirmed as people tried to leave and Puck informed Rachel of that fact. "Look, just show me your parent's alcohol cabinet and I'll break in and replace all the stuff before your dads get back," Puck offered. It was important to him to have a night where Lauren was a bit more relaxed and had more fun around him. Plus he hadn't had a drink in a while and he wanted a fun night, not a night of sitting around and watching Rachel Berry walk around in what looked like a nightgown from the seventies (he thought Kurt would've been proud of that insult).

Rachel seemed conflicted for a while, looking back and forth. Kurt watched her curiously, as did Blaine and Puck. Finally she gave in and said, "Cheers!"

It didn't take long for Puck to, as promised, to get in the liquor cabinet. That's how the party  _really_  started. People were drinking everything they could find; wine coolers, vodka, rum, beer, tequila…Kurt found himself just watching the hullabaloo in amusement. Santana did a body shot off of Brittany; Sam showed them up by doing one off Artie (and he seemed to enjoy it a lot more than Kurt expected); Rachel was yelling about drinks tasting like colors; Tina and Mercedes couldn't stop laughing. There was some yelling, some awkward dancing, and, at some point, Brittany managed to lose everything but her bra and underwear.

Then there was Kurt's main circle of boys.

Finn, like Kurt, chose to remain sober. Finn was going to make sure people got home safely, which was very admirable of him.

Kurt chose to say he was DD-ing, but he was really worried about keeping up appearances in front of Blaine. They had just started dating and a lot of that time was spent apart due to his illness; getting drunk would lead to, if his past experience was any indication, him calling him some Disney character's name and then throwing up. Level of attractiveness? Negative fifty thousand.

On the other hand, Blaine seemed inclined to drink, but he only took small sips of lightly mixed drinks, throwing glances at Kurt every now and then as people tried to drunkenly talk to him and not just call him "Warbler Boy" or "Kurt's Boyfriend".

And then there was Puck.

Going in the complete opposite direction of Kurt, Puck chose to drink. He knew Kurt would make sure he got to his house okay and help make sure he didn't throw up all over himself (not that he was planning on getting  _that_  wasted, but still, the reassurance was nice). It had been a while since he had been drunk, so he wanted to take advantage of it.

Kurt had seen Puck drunk a few times. They never drank together, but sometimes Puck would go to a party and need a ride, and Kurt would take that duty. Puck always invited him to join the parties, but Kurt just didn't feel comfortable with being surrounded by the people Puck partied with; hey, there was never a rule that said you had to be friends with all of your best friend's friends. Those nights didn't happen too often, but Kurt knew what to expect from Puck on those nights. He couldn't follow anything said to him, he got really hungry, he loved to dance more, he would say secrets he normally kept to himself, and several more effects.

At one point, Kurt was just talking to Finn as he danced to "Like a G6" blasting from Rachel's speakers. He confirmed that Finn was being a DD and then Kurt confirmed, "I'm trying not to get sloppy in front of Blaine. Plus I'm on Puck duty."

As if knowing his name was spoken, Puck stumbled over to Kurt and wrapped an arm around him. "Dude, dude, dude…Quinn and Lauren just started yellin' at me man," he slurred, looking extremely confused and hurt, like a lost kitten. "Lauren said my hair was stupid an' Quinn said I ruined her abs."

Kurt snorted, "Yeah, well, Noah, both of those facts are definitely true."

As Blaine finally managed to escape a very drunk Tina and Mercedes to join the circle of sober people plus Puck, Puck burped rather loudly.

Kurt rolled his eyes, "Lovely, Noah. Thank you for that."

Puck smiled, "You're very welcome." Then he paused a moment before adding, "Yours are better, though." Kurt's eyes widened and he froze in embarrassment. Puck turned to an amused Finn and a curious Blaine and explained, "You know, he grew up around garage mechanics. Learned to burp on command when he was six then he taught me. His are much louder than mine."

"Okay, you've definitely had enough to drink because you're making up stories," Kurt tried to cover himself with a nervous laugh, though how red the tip of his ears were showed that Puck was telling the truth. "Let's sit you down and I'll get you some water." He pulled Puck off the stage and sat him down on the floor and hit him upside the head.

"Ow! What was that for?"

Kurt just rolled his eyes and went to fill up a red solo cup with water. He handed it to Noah and sat down next to him. "Let's not reveal embarrassing secrets in front of my new boyfriend, okay?"

"Sorry," Noah said with a huff before having some water. After he finished the cup, he crushed it in his hand and pulled in a pillow with his free arm. He hugged the throw pillow to his chest, frowning as Lauren and Quinn yelled at each other about things he couldn't hear.

Now Kurt remembered the most important factor of a drunk Puck.

He became even  _cuddlier_.

This soon became apparent to everyone at the party. At some point, for whatever reason, Rachel declared they'd play a game of Spin the Bottle. Kurt thought the game was a stupid idea for a group that already had so much drama to deal with, but he had Puck on one side and Blaine on the other.

It didn't take much longer after Blaine sat down to let go of the pillow he had been holding to in order to pull Kurt into his chest in almost the same manner. Kurt squeaked as he was pulled into Puck's lap, his back pressed snuggly against Puck's chest, his ass very close to Puck's cock. Puck spread his legs a bit so Kurt could settle in between them and then he wrapped his arms tightly around Kurt's stomach, resting his chin on Kurt's right shoulder.

"Feeling okay there, Noah?" Kurt asked with a slight laugh.

"Mmm, good," Puck grunted, his nose rubbing against Kurt's ear.

Kurt laughed nervously, his stomach fluttering as Puck nuzzled in closer. He and Puck never went without touching in public, sure, but with this little space between them? That amount of cuddling was a bit more than he was used to in front of… _others_. Only Quinn and Finn had seen them like that, Quinn when she lived with Noah and Finn from living with Kurt.

Even though he was nervous, he let his hands rest on where Puck's hands met above his bellybutton and leaned into Puck's chest. The two watched the pairs that were made: Brittany and Sam, Mike and Quinn, Lauren and Finn (Puck was not happy about that pair, no). Kurt sighed, slightly amazed no same-sex pairings had happened yet. He was about to suggest they do something different when Rachel finally took her turn.

And it landed on  _Blaine_.

Blaine who, unbeknownst to Kurt, had been feeling a bit perturbed about the proximity of Puck to his boyfriend. Kurt frowned when the bottle landed but Blaine just smiled at him in reassurance. He was sober and gay; there was no way he'd really get into the kiss.

And, sure enough, the kiss was barely worthy of that definition. It was a quick peck against Rachel's drunken lips, but it was still enough to make Rachel giggle and declare that Blaine was her new duet partner.

"Wait, wha—" Before Blaine could figure out what was going on, Rachel was dragging him to the stage and looking through song choices. As she babbled about what they could sing, the group of Glee club members scattered out, all but two.

Kurt and Puck were still snuggled up together. Kurt looked more relaxed than Blaine had ever seen him, a feat that wasn't too hard to beat, true, since Kurt wasn't the type of person to relax. But that combined with Puck nuzzling into his neck, his crotch so close to Kurt's ass, his eyes closed and looking so relaxed himself, all of that made Blaine feel a type of jealousy and concern he didn't expect.

Before Rachel could start the song, Blaine grabbed one of the beers and chugged it. He needed to drown that little voice in his head. Kurt and Puck were just friends, he couldn't get jealous of that relationship.

—

Kurt blinked his eyes awake and cuddled into the warmth of his best friend's body, recognizing the distinct Noah Puckerman smell with hints of alcohol. The smell served as a reminder of what had happened the night before. Rachel's party. Blaine getting drunk off his pretty little ass. Puck being obnoxiously cuddly. Letting both of them sleep in his bed.

And that meant his boyfriend might be looking at him right now with his hair a mess and no moisturizing done since he went to bed.

Kurt bolted up and let out a sigh of relief that Blaine, right on the other side of him, was still sound asleep. With an awkward climb, he got over Noah and out of the bed, tiptoeing around the room as he went to his bathroom. After taking care of business, he worked on his hair. It wasn't quite a mess since it was too thick to move that much as he slept, but it needed some work, especially since he didn't get to shower the night before.

When his hair was up to his standards, he looked back around the corner, amused to find Puck and Blaine nearly cuddling. With a small laugh, he went back over to Puck's side of the bed and poked his side with a whisper, "Wake up, sleepy head."

Puck merely turned onto his back, obviously not ready to get up. Kurt smirked and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips and putting his hands on his chest, thinking nothing of it.

"Mmm, babe, yeah," Puck mumbled, rolling his hips slightly. Kurt's eyes widened slightly at the groan, his nails digging into the cloth of Puck's shirt to try to keep his balance.

"Noah!" Kurt hissed—he was right in the midst of puberty, it wasn't like he had great control over his penis, not to mention he wasn't going to cheat on his boyfriend! Puck stopped his movement and raised an eyebrow, as if to say  _I did it again?_ , his eyes still closed. "I was just trying to wake you up."

Puck grumbled but opened his eyes; he hated the times when one of them woke up in some sort of awkward position. Well, he hated how it interrupted his dreams, mostly; being that close to Kurt never felt wrong at all. At least there was no morning wood that time. He looked up at Kurt and then turned to see Blaine next to him. He wrinkled his nose and sat up, Kurt falling back onto his own hands with practiced ease.

"How's the hangover?" Kurt asked cheerfully, though still quietly so Blaine wouldn't wake up. Puck just grunted in reply and Kurt giggled. "You know where the bathroom is; go freshen up a little bit." Puck nodded and slowly walked over there, the shower turning on minutes later.

Kurt went back to his closet and selected an outfit. If Blaine had been just a friend, he would've stayed in his pajamas because they were nice enough, but now he had to impress him. He had to keep him interested. He had to show off his ass in the best way possible, and that wasn't in loose fitting pajama bottoms.

So he changed (in his closet, just in case Blaine woke up) into a pair of skinny jeans he hadn't worn in public yet, a white V-neck, and a vest to emphasize his skinny waist. Not too casual, but enough to make it look like he had just woken up a few minutes before Blaine and he just happened to look flawless.

When he came back out Blaine was still asleep, so he sat down at his vanity and got to work on moisturizing. As he rubbed it in, slowly and effectively, the shower stopped running and his dad started calling for him to help with his cooking. Kurt sighed and rubbed in a little faster; couldn't his dad wait until he came downstairs?

Apparently not. He heard his dad start coming upstairs and he rolled his eyes as he moved on to the next moisturizer. He'd have to do the shortened version so his dad wouldn't burn down the house while trying to cook.

As his dad continued up the stairs, the door to the bathroom opened up and Puck came out, steam following him. "I hate that you can take such hot showers and not dry out," Kurt mumbled as he moved onto the final moisturizer. Puck just ignored the comment since he never knew how to respond to that no matter how many times Kurt said it. He just walked over to the bed and stopped, his eyebrows scrunching together as his hangover raged on as he tried to process what he needed to do next.

And that was how Burt Hummel walked into his son's room to find his son's boyfriend in his bed, his best friend in just a towel, and his son innocently rubbing lotion onto his face. "I'll be there in a minute, Dad," he said, acting as if he didn't look like a part of some harem.

"Hey, Burt," Puck said casually before asking out loud, "Where did I put my clothes…?"

"The bathroom, I'm assuming," Kurt said with an eyeroll.

"…Where am I?" Blaine asked from where he was laying down. He jerked a bit as he saw a half-naked Puck standing in front of him.

"…Okay…" Burt finally said, backing up awkwardly from Kurt's room. From now on he was definitely going to knock.

—

The next day, after Burt was over the shock of finding his son surrounded by teenaged boys in his room, he knew he had to sit down and talk to Kurt about it. He wasn't by any means looking forward to it, though, for obvious reasons. Talking about sex was not something Burt particularly wanted to do with his son. Plus it seemed obvious that Kurt didn't think he was in the wrong for having his boyfriend in his bed with him with the door closed and everything, so it was going to be a long struggle to properly talk it out.

Burt sighed as he finished up the recipe Kurt was teaching him, although he wasn't paying much attention. Once it was in the oven, Kurt said, "I'll be heading to Noah's in about half an hour. Just take it out of the oven once the timer goes off, it should be done, but use the thermometer to make sure it's at the right temperature and you'll be fine."

Kurt was about to leave the kitchen when Burt turned to him and motioned for him to sit down at the counter. Kurt looked puzzled but did as he was told and sat down, watching his father run a hand over his head before putting his baseball cap back on.

"Since you're going back to Dalton tonight, we need to talk about what happened yesterday right now," Burt started. Kurt didn't say anything and Burt clarified, "The day I walked into your room and found out you had just spent the night with Blaine in your bed." Kurt nodded, his eyes a bit wider in recognition, but remained silent. "I shouldn't be finding boys in your bed, Kurt, it's inappropriate," Burt said, "We have rules on this, you know."

"You mean you thought I…?" He shook his head and blushed. But then he nodded. "I mean, I guess I should have assumed there would be some rule for it, but we never actually talked about it…you've never set rules for me regarding boys," Kurt said. "I mean, I've had Noah in my room and he was there that night, even, it's not like I was going to do…anything like  _that_  with him right next to me."

"Well…maybe it's time Noah stopped staying nights up there, too," Burt said. If anything happened between his son and Puck and they were so used to cuddling every night, how could Burt get them to stop it? He had to stop them before something happened between the two of them, even if the look on Kurt's face was breaking his heart.

"What?" Kurt asked quietly. When Burt didn't say anything, he let out a humorless laugh and shook his head; he was done being polite, he had snapped. "I cannot believe you just said that, I…" Kurt moved his hands around as if he was trying to find the right gesture or movement to make him feel better or calm himself down, but eventually he just crossed his arms and set his jaw, obviously trying not to cry. "Would you even mind if this was Finn in my place? If Finn had Rachel or Quinn or whoever he's with this week in his bed?"

"Of course I would," Burt said immediately. "It's inappropriate for either of you to do that—"

"The thing is, I don't think you'd really be mad with Finn," Kurt said, standing up and going around the counter. "If Finn had a girl in his room, you'd lecture him, but you'd also congratulate him on 'getting some', I know you would. You'd be proud." Kurt looked over at Burt with red-rimmed eyes. "I don't think you've accepted the fact that I'm gay."

Burt furrowed his eyebrows. "What are you talking about? We went over this last year, even, I've accepted it and have for years."

"No, dad, you've accepted that I'm feminine," Kurt says, barely above a whisper. Burt tilted his head slightly and Kurt went on, "You said it yourself that you knew I was gay when I said I wanted heels for my birthday. But how does that make me gay? Does liking musicals make me gay? Does having a high voice and loving fashion make me gay? No, it doesn't." Kurt took a deep breath and said, "I'm gay because I am attracted to people of my gender. I like boys—actually, no, I like  _men_. I find them cute and attractive in a sexual way, Dad. And I could accept you not being ready to talk about guys last year and I could accept you thinking having my boyfriend in my room with the door closed is inappropriate—"

"It is—"

"Fine, it is." Kurt closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them back up, he was glaring at his father, tears starting to spill out despite his best efforts to keep them in. "But if you won't even allow my best friend of fourteen years in my room anymore because he's a guy, then you really haven't accepted my sexuality." He took a shuddering breath and shook his head, "You've never even talked to me like a normal son, Dad. I get that I don't need a birds and the bees talk because I'm not going to get anyone knocked up, but, as painful as it would be, why did I never get any sex talk?"

He sighed and wiped under his eyes as he continued, "I thought—I thought that you hadn't sat me down because you-you were afraid to make me uncomfortable and that I'd get one when I got a boyfriend. And I got one, I even go to an all male school, Dad, do you really think I have any curfew for boys in my room?" He sniffed, "I thought you'd sit me down at some point but you never did. You never wanted to have to educate yourself because it makes you uncomfortable to think of two guys together, doesn't it? I know you don't want to imagine your kid having sex but I thought you'd at least try to keep me safe and tell me these things. Or that you'd at least be open to talking about my boyfriend and all of that. But…but I guess you just haven't accepted that as much as you say you have.

"And-and knowing that my dad, the only family I had for years," Kurt said, his voice cracking, "Isn't comfortable with my sexuality…how is that supposed to make me feel good about anything? How would I even have a relationship with anyone in that matter if I feel this bad about my sexuality? It's bad enough I have the world telling me I'm not enough because I'm feminine, that I'm one of those 'annoying gays' who likes fashion and musical theater and talks in a high voice. I don't need this."

He looked Burt in the eye and waited for an answer. He waited for an explanation, anything that would make him feel even slightly better. But Burt, it seemed, was stunned speechless. His mouth was slightly open but no words came out, even as the wheels in his head were clearly spinning rapidly.

Kurt shook his head yet again and said, "I'm heading to Noah's early for dinner. Watch over yours, you know what else you need to do. Oh, and don't worry, I'll make sure not to be behind closed doors with him while we just sit and talk about things like friends do." With that, he grabbed his keys, wiped his eyes, and headed out the door.

Burt sat there, taking it all in, stunned. Did he really give the impression off that he hadn't accepted his son's sexuality? He didn't talk about Blaine because he didn't know the kid and Kurt talked about him enough for everyone. He didn't ask Kurt about guy problems since he was sure Finn had that covered with the "lady chats", as Kurt called them. And as for sex, he assumed his son had learned through the Internet.

Of course the idea of two guys together didn't make him particularly happy, but he wasn't disgusted at all. And, yeah, thinking of his son with guys wasn't a great thought, but he wouldn't want to think of his son with girls, either. Was he really being closed minded by letting Kurt explore on his own? There was a ton more information out there than he could ever give. What did Kurt expect him to do?

He rubbed a hand over his baldhead and sighed. Kurt didn't have a normal childhood by any means, and Burt regretted that. And while he couldn't do anything about it now to fix it, maybe Kurt had a part of him that longed for a sense of normalcy in his teen years. Burt didn't want to think about Kurt ever losing his virginity or anything, but maybe he had to provide that for his son. Let him know his feelings were okay and there was nothing wrong with his sexuality. Wasn't that basically what his dad did when he gave him The Talk all those years ago?

Later that night, Burt did an Internet search (with Carole's help because,  _wow_ , he was still not good at working a computer) to find the nearest clinic. It would take a while, but he would find a way to provide the best information for his son. He owed him that.

—

"Wait, wait, wait, let me get this straight," Puck said, a concerned look on his face as he laid down on his bed. Kurt paced back and forth in the space in front of it like a caged animal, his face pale and a hand near his mouth. "You told Burt that you wanted a sex talk. Because him not giving one meant that he didn't accept you being gay. Even though he said that he accepts you. And even though you don't want a sex talk." He put a hand to his head and said, "Damn, I'm so glad I had a Bloody Mary to cure this hangover or else I'd be in even more pain trying to understand your logic."

Kurt stopped his pacing and looked at him, "Wait, you had  _more_  alcohol today to stop a hangover?" Then he shook his head, "Nevermind, I'm not going to ask about it." He sighed and explained, "I know my dad loves me but…I don't know, I just don't think he accepts the fact that I like guys. He's okay with the other parts of my sexuality, or, rather, the stereotypes. But he hasn't been the most welcoming of Blaine and he even said last year that he didn't want to talk about guys with me." Kurt raised a single shoulder in a shrug, unsure of what else to say.

Noah sighed and gestured for Kurt to lay down next to him. Kurt obliged and immediately rested his head on Puck's shoulder. "Look, you might have a point. I think Burt accepts and loves you, but maybe he's not showing that right now. He's doing better than most parents would at least, right?" After a moment, Kurt nodded and Puck gave him a half-smile. "Good. Now if he gives you that sex talk, you have to call me right after so I can soak up just how embarrassed you will be."

Kurt groaned. "Oh God, I really can't believe I asked him for that."

"Burt Hummel talking about lube and condoms and anal sex…I cannot wait to hear about this," Puck laughed, just getting louder when Kurt glared him down.

—

So maybe Kurt just wanted to take advantage of having a room he could be alone with Blaine in, but he really didn't think it was going to get as heated as it did when he asked Blaine to come over to work on homework. But now their jackets were on the floor, Kurt left in just his undershirt while Blaine's button down was half open, his chest hairs peeking out.

Kurt let out a quiet moan against Blaine's lips, both of their hands staying well above the belt line, which he was grateful for. As much as he was enjoying their make out session, he was definitely not ready to go farther than he was going right then.

In fact, when he felt Blaine's hands start to pull up lightly on his undershirt, he pulled away with a pant. "…We should stop," Kurt said, every part of his body obviously not wanting to, Blaine definitely in the same dilemma.

But Blaine pulled back as well with a nod. "Yeah…yeah, we should," he said. Kurt sat up and primly crossed his legs, even though Blaine just felt his hard cock a second earlier. He cleared his throat and started putting his shirt back on, making sure every button was in line.

Blaine followed suit and got off the bed to grab his jacket and tie. As he crouched down, he noticed a bottle under Kurt's bed. Assuming Kurt had lost track of a spare lotion and knowing how much Kurt hated that, he pulled it up. "Hey, Kurt here's your lo…tion," he slowly finished the word as he realized that was definitely not lotion in his hand because he was much too familiar with that product, especially on days when he had to leave Kurt's room with raging hormones.

Kurt's eyes widened and he snapped it back from Blaine, shoving it into the top drawer of his nightstand.

Blaine just shrugged, "It's not a big deal, Kurt; I use it, too, you know—"

"I don't use it, Blaine, it's not opened and I don't plan on using it. It was a gift from Noah because he thought I was transferring just so I could get closer to you and—" Kurt cut himself off and took a deep breath as he got off his bed.

Blaine watched him curiously as he Kurt slipped on his jacket and grabbed his tie. "Kurt, you don't mean you never…? Really?"

Kurt turned even redder, "I don't think that's really appropriate to talk about."

"Kurt, we were just doing some heavy ass petting," Blaine said, "I think we should be able to talk about it."

Kurt bit his lip and nodded. "Fine." He sighed and looked in the vague general direction of Blaine, but avoiding his eyes, "I don't really do anything like… _that_. For a long time I tried to fight who I was. So much so that I never really…touched myself. I did it as little as possible, at least. Once I accepted myself, I still rarely did because it made me uncomfortable. And one time while I did, I started thinking about No—this one guy and it freaked me out a lot, so I just don't do it often. Plus I just don't really know the, uh, mechanics. But either way, there's more to me than my sexuality."

Blaine looked confused. "But you just invited me to your room to 'study' and basically pounced on me when I asked for a pencil."

With a blush upon his cheeks, Kurt said, "I just like what we've done. I don't need to do it alone." Then he cleared his throat, "If you don't mind, I'd like to work on my algebra now. Alone, this time."

"Kurt, c'mon, don't kick me out. You know I like helping you with solving x and that cute little furrow in your brow—"

"I just need to be alone, Blaine. Please?" Kurt said, a blush faintly formed on his cheeks. Blaine sighed, but nodded. Kurt looked miserable and he didn't want to make him anymore upset.

Blaine was walked to the door and then he placed a small kiss on Kurt's cheek. "See you tomorrow?" Blaine asked. Kurt nodded and looked down, his hands clenched in front of him, almost as if he was trying to block his crotch from Blaine's eyesight.

As soon as the door was closed, Kurt groaned and marched to his bed. He picked up the lube and threw it in the bag he took to visit home on the weekends. Spring break was coming up and Kurt was going to talk Puck's ear off for giving him that stuff in the first place.

—

"So Britney and Santana threw up on the  _stage_?" Kurt laughed in disbelief into his phone. "Oh my God. How much trouble did you get in?"

"None, actually," Puck said. With a shrug he explained, "Figgins thought it was all set up and said it was a great anti-alcohol message. He condemned us."

"I think you mean commended," Kurt corrected.

"Whatever," Puck answered.

"And Mr. Schue? He said nothing?"

"Well, I told you about that drunk phone call he left on Coach Sylvester's answering machine," Puck started. Kurt nodded and his friend continued, "He realized he couldn't get that mad at us when he had done a stupid thing with alcohol this week. But he promised to give up alcohol and asked us to do so until after Nationals was over. Then he gave out his phone number just in case we ever do need a ride, though." He laughed quietly, "Sam was really excited about it. I don't know why, it was weird. I don't always get that kid."

"You gave him those old shirts of yours, right?" Kurt asked. When Puck confirmed he had, he sighed in relief. "Good. I'd try to get some of Finn's old stuff, but I'm not sure it'd fit. Plus I don't want to have to explain why I'm looking through his old things. I don't think Sam would want me to tell Finn. Finn would probably tell Rachel and then it'd spread around like nobody's business."

"Yeah, true," Puck said. "But it's all good. I'm going through some of Sara's old stuff, too, to see if there's anything that might fit his sister. I got her size from him." After a moment he sighed, "I can see why he'd be up for just getting drunk at school; it's gotta be the only time he's not working or watching over kids or something."

Kurt nodded and made a noise of agreement, which only reminded him that he was going to tell Sam he could babysit over his upcoming spring break. "So I'll see you next week for my break, right? You'll make yourself available, Lauren or not?"

"Duh," Puck said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"And you won't be drinking at school anymore?"

"Yes, mom," Puck said with a roll of his eyes.

"Good, I was just checking," he responded with a laugh. Then he grinned, "You realize no matter how cool you think you are for drinking at school, I was the first of us to get drunk on the school grounds, right?"

—

The judges for show choir competitions never seemed to have much common sense, of course. The choices were basically just the closest to celebrities Lima had and they somehow had to take them seriously. But how was that possible when they wanted things to be "sexy"? Wasn't that a bit inappropriate to ask of a high school show choir? How would being sexy help New Directions win?

When Coach Sylvester told Blaine and Kurt that ND was using their sex appeal to win, Kurt was inclined not to believe it. It was  _Coach Sylvester_ , after all; she was running a show choir they were competing against. But when he looked over at Blaine to share an eye roll with him, his mouth formed a frown. It was clear that Blaine was trying to come up with a sexy song to do at Regionals.

Kurt didn't, however, notice the worried look Blaine sent his way. Blaine thought Kurt was stunning and, at least while they were alone, sexy as hell. But, honestly, he kind of gave out the vibe of being the most innocent person on the planet. Blaine was no Casanova himself, of course, but he knew someone who was.

He had to call in the expert.

—

"'Ello?"

"Hey, uh, Puck?"

Puck raised an eyebrow at the voice on the other end of the phone. "Yeah, who is this?"

"Oh, good. It's Blaine."

Puck pursed his lips. "Oh, hey." True, Puck had promised to not just freeze Blaine off completely and he was doing a good job at that, but he still didn't really think of Blaine as a friend. "What do you want?"

"It's about Kurt," Blaine started nervously.

"I assumed."

"Yeah. Duh, of course. Anyways, we went out to coffee the other day and—"

"Oh, did he put actual sugar in his coffee instead of Splenda? Yeah, he gets on sugar highs pretty easily, if he got all jittery and started laughing randomly, that's why, I promise he's not on coke."

"No, that's not why I'm calling." Blaine paused and then admitted, "Although I'd like to see that. Anyways, I'm calling because we ran into that cheerleading coach from your school? That one on TV?"

"Oh no," Puck groaned, "Did she say Kurt had pear hips again? He's eating, right?"

"Can you just let me finish the story, Puck?" Blaine sighed, trying to ignore how much Puck seemed to know about his boyfriend that Blaine couldn't even comprehend.

Puck rolled his eyes and picked up a spare weight in his room. "Go on, Anderson," he said as he started doing bicep curls.

"Right," Blaine started, "So she's running a show choir now, as I'm sure you know because Kurt does. And she said the Regional judges want something sexy."

"Really? Sweet. McKinley has it in the bag, then! I mean, my guns alone are worth, like, three of your Warblers. Nah, more like four," Puck said with a smirk.

With a roll of his eyes, Blaine said, "I just want your help with Kurt."

"With what about Kurt?" Puck asked, putting the weight down and going to his bed. "My boy's got an ass that's out of this world. I know you haven't felt it or anything, but just looking at it is enough proof of that."

"I'm not saying he isn't sexy, I'm—wait, how do you know I haven't touched it?" Blaine's eyes widened. "Kurt tells you all of that?"

"Well,  _duh_ ," Puck said with a snort. "And all the power to you for going natural on your chest; you're lucky Kurt's weird and likes that stuff, if I went natural for any of the girls I've done, I would have been kicked out almost immediately."

Blaine's cheeks heated up, but he just ignored it. "Kurt's sexy, he's just…I don't know, he doesn't have that air about him, especially not when performing. And I'm pulling all of these strings to get him a duet—the Warblers' Council loves the idea, too—but if he can't portray sexy…I don't know if they'll let him sing."

There was silence over the line for a few moments. Blaine was actually starting to worry he had offended Puck when he finally heard the other boy sigh. "Yeah. Kurt's great, but he kind of gives off doe eyes, I know. He's more innocent and naïve than he lets on."

A breath of relief left Blaine's lungs. "Exactly. I just want to help him with that and get him a big part in the Regionals performance. He deserves it. And not only does he trust you, but you have that whole sex appeal and sexual confidence vibe."

"Dude, I'm flattered, but I have to tell Kurt if you hit on me," Puck said, a slight hint of joking in his voice.

"Just come over to Kurt's tomorrow with me," Blaine said with a roll of his eyes, "I know it's not your spring break, but we can wait until after school gets out. We can spend some time working on his confidence and sexy looks and he'll basically have a song handed to him on a silver platter."

"Sounds good," Puck agreed, "But, just so you know, no threeway is happening."

—

At 3:30 PM on the Monday of Dalton's spring break, the doorbell to the Hummel-Hudson house rang. Then again. Then a third time. Kurt rolled his eyes, assuming Finn had accidentally locked himself out of the house again. Much to his surprise, he found his boyfriend and best friend standing in front of him.

"Uh…hi. You didn't tell me you were coming over," Kurt said, looking between the two of them in confusion. Were they planning something as friends for the three of them? He had told them to be friends, of course, but he didn't think it was actually going to happen, not with how Puck acted around Blaine. Even at the moment he seemed uncomfortable standing around him, his hands buried in his sweatshirt's front pocket and a grimace on his face, so that couldn't be it…

Blaine, smiling brightly as always, said, "I know, I'm sorry, I should've warned you. I was afraid you'd stop us if I said anything."

Blue eyes flicked in between Puck and Blaine suspiciously. After a moment, Kurt mumbled, "I really don't plan on having a  _ménage a trois_ …"

Blaine rolled his eyes and Puck snorted as he walked in, wrapping an arm around Kurt's shoulder. "C'mon, let's see if your boyfriend remembers your room while sober."

Soon they were settled in Kurt's room, Kurt remembering to keep the door open so as not to upset his dad. Puck and Blaine sat Kurt down on his bed and the two remained standing, Puck looking down at his feet guiltily as Kurt looked up at his two guests in confusion. "What's going on?" Kurt asked, his voice full of worry.

"So…you know that Sylvester woman said that New Directions is going to do sexy numbers at Regionals, which means we should combat with sexy, right?" Blaine started.

Kurt nodded uncertainly, "Uh huh, that's what she told us…"

"Well, I think I could convince the Warblers' Council to let us duet on something sexy for Regionals."

Kurt's eyes lit up. "Really? Oh my God, that'd be great! Singing a duet with my boyfriend is a total bucket list moment for me." Then he slowly narrowed his eyes in thought, "…So why are you guys acting so weirdly?"

Blaine looked over at Puck and Puck raised an eyebrow back; he wasn't going to be the one to say it. The younger boy sighed and sat down next to Kurt, putting his hand on top of Kurt's. "Kurt, you know I think you're an amazing boyfriend. You're sweet and witty and so, so beautiful…"

"But…?" Kurt said hesitantly, not sure he wanted to hear the rest of it.

"…But you're not exactly sexy," Blaine said. Kurt's immediate look of heartbreak made Puck glare and Blaine wince and correct himself, "You're sexy when we're alone and you're sexy when you don't try, but when you perform? And just your general vibe? You're…you're a bit more, well, innocent."

Kurt looked down at his lap, blinking rapidly. "My boyfriend says I'm not sexy," he repeated slowly, his voice heavy with emotion. "That's…okay. Good to know."

Blaine looked up helplessly at Puck, no idea how to deal with an emotional Kurt. He was still new to having a boyfriend and still relatively knew to even knowing Kurt, at least compared to Puck. Puck groaned and sat down next to Kurt, wrapping his arm around Kurt's shoulders.

"Look, no one's saying you aren't sexy, not even that hobbit over there," Puck said, ignoring Blaine's eye roll at the nickname. "You'd have to be crazy to think you aren't sexy! Your ass alone is out of this world and when you get into bitch mode and have that fire in your eyes? Kurt, you're hot." Kurt relaxed a bit at that while Blaine raised an eyebrow at the specificity. "We're just sayin' that, well, you give off an aura of innocence, ya know? We've talked about this before, you and I, it's nothing big. Blaine just wants to make sure you give the best performance you can and make all those Warbler boys jealous that you got to Blaine before they could snatch you up."

Kurt's eyes darted back and forth between the two of them again before landing on Blaine. "That's what you meant? You still find me…attractive?"

Blaine nodded, "Of course, Kurt, you'd have to be blind not to realize that. I'm just going to work on…your stage presence. Making girls weak in the knee, all of that."

Blue eyes blinked a few times before he sighed in defeat. "What's the plan?"

Over the next half hour, Kurt sat in front of his vanity Blaine on one side and Puck sitting on his bed, watching with a judgmental look on his face but offering no advice or help. Blaine would roll his eyes at him every now and then, but mainly focused on trying to get his boyfriend to make sexy faces in the mirror.

It was harder than it sounded. Kurt was a pretty tense person used to acting for a large stage. Trying to get him to make a sexy face led to a lot of over-the-top bites and nose wrinkles and looks that seemed more in place with an SNL parody sketch than a sexy performance.

Blaine tried his best to be supportive and tell Kurt it was good and just adjust him gently, but Kurt wasn't an idiot. He could tell Blaine was just trying to be nice and thought Kurt looked like crap and, not only did it hurt, but it was  _frustrating_.

"I'm  _never_  going to get this," Kurt whined, putting his head in his hands and groaning in frustration. His dreams of a duet with his boyfriend in front of hundreds of show choir fans slowly drifted away in his mind's eye, his lips forming a pout even if no one could see it from the angle he was at.

Looking at Puck helplessly, Blaine mouthed,  _Help_? Puck rolled his eyes and sighed, getting off the bed. He went behind Kurt's chair and said, "The master's going to take care of this now, 'kay? Blaine's way? Maybe it works for him, but it's not for everyone. Different strokes for different folks, right? So we'll try my way and see how it works. Sound good?" Kurt stayed still for a moment longer but than slowly nodded. "Lift your head up and we can start." Kurt rolled his eyes as he lifted up his head and looked into the mirror.

"Okay, close your eyes," Puck said, putting two fingers from each hand on Kurt's temples. Kurt did as told and Puck smiled, "Good. Now, think back on the past few weeks. Think of inviting your loverboy—sorry,  _Blaine_ —to your room. Are you imagining it?" Eyebrows furrowed together but Kurt nodded and kept his eyes closed. "Awesome. Think about what you guys did there. How he asked to borrow a pencil and you jumped him; how you kissed him until your mouth got tired; how you rubbed your smooth hand against his hairy, rough chest," Puck said, rolling his eyes, obviously quoting things Kurt had told him. His voice lowered to a whisper, "Remember how it felt to feel him pressed against you. Think about how it made your skin heat up and your heart beat faster. Embrace all of it in your memory."

Kurt was slightly red in embarrassment (and/or maybe arousal, Blaine wasn't sure), but he said nothing, still concentrating on the given thoughts. "Good, keep thinking about that," Puck said quietly. "Now…open your eyes."

His bright blue eyes opened and Blaine immediately raised his eyebrows in incredulous joy. Kurt's face was now sporting one of the sexiest looks he had ever seen on it, almost as sexy as when he got breathless and his hair messed up a bit after they had their make out sessions.

"Puck…you're a genius," Blaine said with a slight grin.

Before Puck could even say a sarcastic comment in response, Kurt's face went back to normal. Kurt struggled against it, but his eyes had lost the spark and biting at the air like before didn't help. Kurt groaned and put his head back in his hands. "This is  _useless_!"

"Dude, it's okay," Puck said gently. "We can get you to hold it longer. Maybe thinking about Taylor Lautner would help. Taylor Lautner in a field of lilacs…?" Before Blaine could even question what that meant, Kurt had stood up and crossed his arms, walking away from his vanity.

"That's a nice thought, Noah, but it's not going to help. I'm as sexy as a baby penguin. No, probably less sexy since at least girls coo over penguins and I'm just… _ugh_ ," Kurt said, gesturing to himself.

Puck walked over to Kurt and put his hands on his shoulder. "Kurt. You're sexy.  _Much_  sexier than a baby penguin and much sexier than you know. You just try too hard," he said. Kurt shook his head and pushed Puck's arms off, going to the opposite side of his bed. He turned to face them with a deep breath and shook his head.

"I'm not a sexy person. I mean, I like  _musicals_ , and in musicals, the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets," Kurt explained, looking nervous and younger than he was. "I'm not meant to be sexy to an audience of show choir judges and teenage girls. I'm meant not Brian Kinney. I'm…I'm Justin Taylor before he went to the bars, permanently stuck in a phase before a TV show even finds me interesting enough to film." Kurt wasn't really sure his metaphor was making sense outside of his head, but it rang true for him. He felt stuck in his sexuality, permanently glued to one spot of just being romantic and doe eyed like a schoolgirl.

"Look, I want to be sexy and appealing more than anything. I want to not blush every time I think about sex or any time someone even brings up  _kissing_ , but I can't," he groaned, ignoring Blaine and Puck's protests. As he rubbed at his temple in frustration, he didn't notice or hear Burt walking up to his door, hiding right behind it as Kurt started to rant. "You both know I can't even watch porn without freaking out; how am I supposed to be sexy? How can I look sexy if I'm anything but sexual?"

"But Kurt—"

"I can't bring myself to do Internet searches because it embarrasses me. And, God, I have some dirt on Finn from his computer, what if he tries to get back at me by finding a search like that?" Kurt asked, panicking at the thought. "And those sites are useless anyways! They're full of technical terms and descriptions, they barely even talk about what it feels like or what it means and what it's actually like; I just end up feeling embarrassed and stupid and grossed out and like I shouldn't even like sex. Because, let's face it, it doesn't help that every person I know who's not a virgin has some horror story with it. Like ending up pregnant or with and STD or with a woman twice his age—"

"Hey, that was a good one—"

"And what is my virginity in this world? Is there any definition for two guys? Like, do I lose it if I 'receive' or is it not losing it unless I 'give it'? Oral, does that count? Do I wait for marriage? Oh, no, wait, I don't get that choice unless I move to Iowa and it's not like I can get married in  _Iowa_ , what kind of wedding could I have there?" he ranted, his voice getting higher as he kept on listing off his concerns.

"Kurt, calm down," Puck said. For a moment, Kurt stopped and it seemed like it had worked. Then the boy just frowned and shook his head.

"…Go," Kurt said softly, moving his hand from his temple to his forehead. "Let me just sit here for a moment and think, please? I'll talk to you later this week."

Puck and Blaine looked at each other and then back at Kurt. Blaine slowly started to say, "Kurt, I—"

" _Please_ ," Kurt said, not unlike how he kicked Blaine out of his room at Dalton. The two sighed and muttered goodbyes before leaving Kurt, closing the door behind them.

That, of course, only led them to be face-to-face with one Burt Hummel.

The boys looked at Burt in surprise and fear for a few moments. The man looked at them, studying them with those eyes that he had given Kurt, blue-green and pensive. He slowly nodded his head and said, "Let's get you boys some drinks before you leave."

The three of them made it down stairs with a slight sigh from Burt. Blaine felt strange to be sitting at the Hummels' dining room table with a glass of water in front of him and flanked on either side by Puck and Burt, but he did his best to not show it. He watched the other two men carefully, the ease that Puck had with Kurt shown in his comfort around the authority figure that was Burt Hummel. It was obvious Puck respected him just from how he looked at him and sat around him, but he was still laid back and calm, like he imagined Puck would feel around family.

Silence prevailed for quite some time. Burt finally broke it by saying, "You know, I really thought he knew this stuff. He's online and he's friends with you, Puckerman, and he's got a boyfriend now…I assumed he researched online."

Puck made a face and nodded. "I never even realized until last year that he was so uncomfortable about it. Whenever I talked about it, he was always quiet but I just didn't notice. I feel stupid for it now."

Blaine wanted to add something to the discussion, but he felt like most of his case was fairly inappropriate to bring up in front of his boyfriend's father. Yes, he noticed that Kurt was uncomfortable with the subject seeing as he could barely look at him in the eye for the rest of the school week after their make out session turned talk went wrong, but he couldn't really announce that he had found his boyfriend's lube stash after a make out session.

"He told me last time he was down here that he wanted a sex talk," Burt said, then he shook his head, "I don't know why I'm telling you, I'm sure he told both of you. Kurt seems to think that I haven't accepted that he's gay because I frowned upon finding his boyfriend in bed with him." Blaine ducked his head at the comment and Burt continued, "He said some other things and I guess I can see why he thinks that, but I don't get how a sex talk will help, though it seems he needs one."

Puck nodded in agreement as did Blaine. He took a sip of his water to stop himself from inserting himself into the conversation; Burt Hummel was a smart man who obviously knew what to say and do, especially with his own son, and Blaine didn't have a right to tell him what he thought on the whole ordeal. But when Burt muttered, "I can't do this", Blaine couldn't stop himself from stating his opinion.

"You have to."

Burt and Puck turned to him, Puck fairly amused and Burt not so much. Blaine corrected himself, "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that so rudely, but it's true."

He sighed and looked at Burt directly, even as he felt nervousness in the pit of his stomach from how the man watched him with such a steely gaze. "I admire the relationship you have with Kurt  _so much_ ," Blaine started. "You guys are great together and from the moment he first mentioned you, I could tell you guys were close. He admires you. And if he doesn't learn about this now or feel like his father accepts him…" He trailed off and closed his eyes, trying not to think of the things that could happen to Kurt.

"Kurt is one of the kindest, most genuine guys I have ever met."

"Yeah, well, he gets that from his mother," Burt said. Puck nodded in agreement, giving Burt a sad smile.

"I think he's smart and wouldn't be used by someone, but…it's still something he should know. I'd hate to imagine him not knowing all of this an getting taken advantage of at a party," Blaine said, not noticing how the other two looked at him. "I just think talking to him will quell a lot of his fears and make things better for everyone. And I'd hate for Kurt to think that you don't approve of him just because you're uncomfortable talking about sex."

Blaine finally put the glass back to his mouth in order to stop talking. Burt looked over the boy, as if sizing him up, before slowly nodding. "Yeah. I know I got to do this. Just wish I didn't have to," he sighed and lifted up his cap to run a hand over his head before putting the cap back on.

"You know, when Kate died, I really didn't know how we'd even keep going," Burt said, looking off in the distance. "She did all the usual stuff for the house, y'know, cooking and cleaning and all of that. But even when she was gone, the house still stayed clean. No matter what happened, no matter what day, the house was always squeaky clean. I don't know why I didn't realize or why I didn't question why it was happening, I just had other things on my mind, y'know? Trying to stay strong for the boys, working at the store, trying to find places I could bring food home that Kurt would approve of. Not having to clean was one thing I was glad to not have to do."

Burt looked down at his cup and smiled. "It wasn't until months after, when Kurt was sick, that I realized why. Kurt was stuck in bed with a late in the game case of chicken pox. Remember that?" he asked Puck. Puck nodded, vaguely remembering that, though he tried to forget most of the year where both his dad and his Mama Kate left his life. "Suddenly, the house was dusty and dishes weren't put away. And I realized that, without even being asked, Kurt had taken over that for her. When I asked him he didn't say why he did it, he just said he was doing it and getting Noah to help him put away the dishes. Said he liked having a clean house, that was it.

"He soon started cooking for us, not even in double digits, since I couldn't even defrost a chicken," he said with a slight laugh. "Kurt just took on everything like an adult would, no questions asked. He taught himself, and not just macaroni and cheese, mind you, but eventually soufflés and pastries and full out cuisine. I could give more examples like that, but I think you can get the point." Burt took a sip of water before deciding to just state the point, "Kurt's been like an adult since he was eight, ever since Kate died and he took over responsibilities so easily.

"I hate that. I hate that my kid grew up so quickly. It's not what I wanted, but no matter what I insisted, he just kept taking over more responsibilities around the house," Burt said. He looked over at Puck, "If it wasn't for this guy here, I don't know if Kurt would've ever let himself have fun. So thank you for that." Puck nodded, though he felt hesitant about it. He always knew that he and Kurt had both grown up quickly, but he never thought of him helping Kurt; he thought Kurt helped him a lot by keeping him on track and helping with Sara, but he never thought of how he was a positive influence in Kurt's life. He wasn't sure he quite believed it, but it was nice to have some recognition.

"I guess I've just let myself forget that he's not an adult. It's hard to believe he's only seventeen sometimes since he just holds onto so much more knowledge than a teenager should have," Burt said. Then he shook his head, "But if he's still not an adult on this manner, I have to talk to him. Don't know how, but I will."

Blaine nodded, staying silent for a beat to give that speech its proper end. Then he tried to offer hope, "Even just making sure Kurt reads the pamphlets is better than nothing."

The father nodded and took another sip of water, trying to ignore the dread he felt at performing this task. What the hell was he even going to say?

—

"So are you and Lauren dating or what?" Kurt asked into his phone.

"I have no freaking clue," Puck admitted. "I think we're just friends. Friends who had thought about doing a sex tape, but still just friends." He shrugged, "I dunno. Maybe we'll be more one day. For now, I might as well join the Celibacy Club."

Kurt snorted. "You? In the Celibacy Club?"

"Hey, what Miss Holliday said freaked me out! I could've gone arrested for child pornography and gone back to Juvie and my nipple is finally starting to look like a normal nipple again!" Puck protested.

Kurt sighed and sat on his bed, "Noah…I get that you're nervous. But you've learned from that now. There's no need to be celibate just because you're freaked out by that. Plus, doesn't Miss Pillsbury or whatever her last name is now run that? And aren't only Quinn and Rachel members? You'd be much better off hanging out with Lauren then joining the Celibacy Club. Find out what the two of you are before you swear off of sex until marriage."

There was silence on the phone for a while before Puck finally groaned, "Why are you always right?"

"Because I am," Kurt chirped.

"Yeah, yeah," Puck said. "Now your turn. Anything up at your place? Sorry I can't come over, but, y'know, Sara duty. You can come over if you want, though."

"Nothing's going on," Kurt said, "It's a rather boring break, actually. Finn and Carole are out for some mother-son bonding so it's just me and Dad tonight. He wants me to help him cook something. He said it was important or else I'd come over."

A low laugh left Puck's throat. "Oh, Kurt. Prepare yourself. I think he's going to give you The Talk."

Kurt rolled his eyes, "Ha ha, nice joke, Noah. I said I wanted it from him so now we're going to keep joking about that. Great."

"No, I'm serious," Puck insisted. "He probably got them out of the house so you two could have it alone. He, Blaine, and me all talked about it."

"And  _I_ ," Kurt corrected. Then he realized what Puck had said, " _What_?!"

"Look, it's a long story, just forget it. But know it's coming."

Kurt pursed his lips. Then he shook his head, "Nope. Not believing you." Before Noah could respond, Burt called down for Kurt. "That's him. I better help him make dinner. Talk to you later."

"Yeah, yeah," Noah said, "Just tell me when it happens. I promise I won't laugh directly into your face."

Kurt rolled his eyes, but said, "Love you."

"Love you, too."

—

Burt took a deep breath and pushed open the door to his son's room, a plate of toast with peanut butter and jelly in hand for Kurt. Kurt was currently sitting on his bed, a leg folded into his chest and his eyes wide and face pale. Several pamphlets on safe sex, HIV/AIDS prevention, and homosexual sex, were all in front of him.

"Hey, kiddo," Burt said. Kurt immediately looked up. "You done with your pamphlets?"

Kurt was blushing but he nodded. "Yes. I just finished the last one," he said, picking said pamphlet and reading the title, " _Boys Who Like Boys_. Quite a good read."

"Yeah…" Burt said awkwardly, looking down at his feet. He rolled his eyes at himself, reminding himself that he was a Hummel and he could do this. He had gotten through the hard part of it already, making sure Kurt knew not to just throw himself around and that he mattered. Now he just had to be ready for a few more questions.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and handed Kurt the plate. "Here's the toast you wanted," Burt offered, smiling slightly as Kurt took it. "Oh, um, before I forget," Burt pulled a box and small sampling of condoms, "Here's, uh, some supplies I got at the clinic." Kurt's eyes grew comically large and Burt warned, "I'm not saying you should be using them right away, but, well, you never know. Just take them."

Kurt hesitantly reached out for them and moved them next to where he sat on the bed. "Good," Burt said, nodding his head awkwardly as Kurt tried to just eat the toast his dad had made. "So…everything clear in there?"

Kurt's eyes somehow became wider and he nodded quickly, swallowing the bite he had just taken of his toast. "Yes. Nothing to ask you, I promise," Kurt said.

"Good. Good. I mean, I want you to come to me if you have any questions. I read over all of those, too, but, uh…good. I'm glad it's all clear," Burt said awkwardly. They smiled nervously at each other again before Burt got up to leave.

When he reached the door, he sighed and turned around. "Look, Kurt," he said, "It's not that I don't accept you. I just figured this was something you'd learn on your own. You've always taken such good care of yourself, that sometimes I forget that you're just a kid."

"I…I'm seventeen," Kurt offered.

Burt scoffed, "Yeah, you're young." He sighed and continued, "I don't want you to think that I don't approve of who you like or that I don't like Blaine or that I think you and Noah do anything inappropriate. I'm just trying to do what's best for you and I'm going to get stuff wrong, believe me. Just promise to be patient with me, and we'll get through this, you and me, just like always. Okay?"

Kurt looked at him for a moment, thinking over what he said. After some thought, he nodded, "Okay."

Burt offered another smile before turning around. Before he could close the door, Kurt said, "Dad?" He turned around and Kurt added, "Thank you. Really. I appreciate this just as much as I'm humiliated by it." Burt chuckled and nodded, finally leaving the room and closing the door.

As soon as he was alone, Kurt pulled out his phone and sent a text to Puck like promised.  _"Just given The Talk. Dad now knows what the prostate is used for in the gay community. I will not be able to look him in the eye for days now."_

Seconds later he had a text back from Puck just full of  _haha_  written over and over again. Kurt rolled his eyes as another one came in,  _"Hey, you got what you asked for, at least be cool with that. Does that mean you're going to start using your prostate as a gay man should?"_

Kurt scoffed and sent back, " _No!"_

But once he pocketed his phone, Kurt picked up one of the other pamphlets, one with a horrible name on it,  _Back Door Lover_. Firmly refusing to believe his father had actually read that one for the sake of his own sanity, he read over it again, feeling a bit less embarrassed over words like  _penetrate_ ,  _anilingus_ , and  _lubricant_  than he had the first time around. The pamphlet talked about different techniques to loosen up enough back there to take something, like a penis or toy, inside. It had several techniques to get started, claiming that one had to build up slowly and carefully, maybe by starting with just pressing against the ring of muscles or taking a bath to fully relax the body, since arousal and relaxation were both required to make anal play successful.

If Kurt was going to be completely honest, that stuff had always made him curious. He knew what the prostate was sued for and where it was, but he just didn't understand why one would actually  _use_  it? Wasn't his penis good enough to orgasm with? It seemed fine to him, even if a nagging part of his brain always pointed out how those muscles that led to the prostate always clenched and moved when he masturbated. Was it really as good as the books Noah gave him made it sound?

Even with that thought, he never had the courage to look up how to even get started on something like that safely. But now there was a guide in front of him and, well, maybe Kurt could give this bath thing a try.

—

Kurt stood in his bathrobe in front of the tub in his bathroom, nervously untying and retying the knot of the terrycloth material. It had been two days since his dad had given him the pamphlets. It had taken two days to get up the courage to actually attempt what he was going to do or, at least, what he was planning on doing, if everything went according to plan.

Even if he didn't have this plan, he reasoned, he'd be amiss not to take a nice bath while visiting home. The bath in his room had jets and was extra long, making it much easier to relax in than the one at their old house (the one in the master room was even better but something felt very wrong about trying this out in his  _parents_ ' bathtub. Ew). The candles Kurt had put up helped with the relaxing, as did the dim lighting and the playlist of soft, calm, sensual songs.

Once the tub was filled up all the way, Kurt finally pulled off his robe and stepped into the warm water. It was immediately relaxing; his eyes fell shut as he turned on the timed jets, the bubbling effect just helping his tense muscles relax even more.

He stayed like that for several minutes, eyes closed and body floating in the warm water. Once he estimated that it had been about ten minutes, his left hand slowly reached for his cock. He lightly touched it at first, fisting around it with a loose grip as he lazily stroke it. Being a teenaged boy, it took little time before he was fully erect and aroused.

His left hand still lazily stroked himself while his right hand reached underneath him. Tracing the line of his crack, he found the little ring of muscle and, letting go of his nerves, lightly traced around it.

It was a surprise to his system to find that, oh, he actually kind of liked that; his rim was actually very sensitive.  _Oh_. Kurt's index finger pressed lightly against the muscles and, while there was a slight amount of pain, he was amazed at just how pleasurable it was, like pressing against a tense muscle in his shoulder but so much nicer.

Realizing he was ready for a part he hadn't been sure about, Kurt reached for the bottle of lube he had brought back home from Dalton. Originally, he had intended to throw it at Noah's head while ranting about how Blaine had found it, but now, he finally opened it for the first time. He had done all the research and discovered that silicone-based lube, which was what Puck had gotten him, was best for anal sex  _and_  was best to use in water. It was a perfect match for him, even with the stirring of nerves in his gut.

He poured a sizable amount onto his fingers, not sure how much he was really supposed to use. He rubbed his fingers together, remembering that he was supposed to warm it up this was, supposedly. After a moment, Kurt quickly moved his hand under the water and to his entrance.

At first, Kurt just circled around the ring of muscle, coating it in lube and relaxing it. Kurt's cock twitched at the action and he sighed happily, closing his eyes and relaxing the hand that he had wrapped around his erection. Slowly but surely, his hole relaxed under the massage.

To calm the nerves in his stomach, Kurt took his hand away and repeated the process he had started earlier with the lube. This time, though, when his hand went underneath him, instead of jus circling around the rim, Kurt gently pressed his index finger in. He bit his bottom lip, not wanting to make a sound just in case someone would hear him over the quiet of his bathing playlist.

And, okay, it kind of hurt. He was tight, despite how relaxed he was, and it was a bit uncomfortable, if he was going to be honest about it, but it wasn't unbearable, at least with just one finger. In fact, the slight pain mixed with the pleasurable stretch and the pleasure of the pressure on the rim was actually not too bad of a feeling. His cock definitely wasn't disagreeing to it, at least.

That knowledge helped him find the courage to press in a bit farther. Once his finger was pushed all the way in, Kurt took a deep breath. Then, with determination, he curled his finger. It couldn't be that hard to find his prostate, seeing as doctors tested them all the time—

" _Ah!_ " Kurt arched up as his finger brushed against a bundle of nerves. He blinked rapidly. Oh. That was…that was nice. Sticking his tongue out in concentration, he pressed over it again and was rewarded with another wave of pleasure. Slowly he inched his finger out a little, then pushed it back in, pressing right against that spot. Oh  _wow_.

Kurt continued that process, accelerating the speed of his finger and the amount he pulled out as his other hand wrapped against his leaking erection. Unlike his other attempts masturbating, Kurt didn't have the time or a need to imagine hot boys from magazines gently kissing him or Blaine during their time alone or even Taylor Lautner in a field of lilacs. Before he knew it, he was coming into his hand with a breathless moan, one he hoped was still quieter than the sound coming from his speakers.

When he came down, he quickly realized he needed his finger out of him. With a whimper he pulled it out and went to his knees, resting his hands on his thighs as he tried to process what had just happened. Had he, Kurt Hummel, really just done that? Had he stepped out of his box enough to try what he had feared?

Had he really just  _liked_  all of that?

Kurt laughed shakily and quietly, embracing the weird situation. Then, realizing he needed to properly clean, he drained the bath and started a shower, making sure to clean even more than usual. As he scrubbed he found himself smiling. This was only the beginning of the Sexual Liberation of Kurt Hummel.

—

"So I take it you forgive me?" Blaine asked breathlessly as he pulled away from Kurt's mouth. He had just walked inside Kurt's room not even five minutes earlier when Kurt had pressed him against the wall and kissed him. Now Kurt was straddling him on his bed, both their blazers off.

"Uh-huh," Kurt mumbled, taking the chance to take off his tie, throwing it off to the side. Blaine took his off, too, barely getting it off before Kurt pressed his lips against him again. Moments later, Kurt pulled away and rested his hands against the top buttons on Blaine's shirt.

"Can I?"

"Do it," Blaine said immediately. He watched closely as Kurt undid the buttons with swift, graceful fingers, his tongue licking lightly at his lips as he watched his boyfriend's chest slowly reveal itself. Blaine helped get the shirt off of him completely and then pulled Kurt back down for a kiss. As he did so, he accidentally pulled out Kurt's shirt from his pants. Knowing this was not something Kurt was particularly fond of, Blaine froze and muttered against his lips, "I'm sorry, Kurt, I—"

"N-no," Kurt whispered back. Blaine looked up at him, confused. The older boy pulled back to look at his boyfriend more clearly. "It's fine," he insisted, reaching up to undo his own buttons.

"Kurt, you really don't have to—"

"Blaine," Kurt said firmly, looking into his eyes with that stubborn look he got when someone tried to argue with him over his opinions on Patti LuPone, "I want to do this. Do you want me to take it off?"

Blaine hesitated for a moment before nodding. He knew there was no use arguing with Kurt on the issue, not when he had that look in his eyes. "Good," Kurt said with a nod. He went back to unbuttoning his shirt, reminding himself silently that he had to push himself out of his comfort zone in order to get anywhere. He threw the shirt off and, after a deep breath, he took off his undershirt, trying to ignore the blush on his cheeks as Blaine stared at him in silence.

Just when Kurt was going to ask him to say  _something_ , Blaine groaned, "God, you're so  _hot_ ," and pulled him back down into a hot, passionate kiss.

As Kurt moved his legs to get better adjusted, his clothed erection bumped right next to Blaine's. Both boys moaned into the other's mouth before pulling away for a moment. "You…you okay with going on?" Blaine asked quietly.

Kurt paused for a moment before agreeing, "Y-yeah. Yeah, I am. As long as you are, of course."

Blaine nodded, "Yeah. Just…yeah." Kurt pressed his lips against Blaine's in a peck before kissing down his jaw and onto his neck, his hips moving against Blaine's in a way that made both of them groan. When Kurt reached Blaine's pulse point, he sucked lightly at it, licking against the salty skin, his hands awkwardly laying next to him as Blaine's held onto his back and hair. His hips moved faster and faster as Blaine tugged at his hair, something he should've known was an erogenous zone for him, and, before he could stop himself, he bit at Blaine's neck. Blaine moaned loudly and arched up, causing Kurt's erection to press against his hip,  _hard_.

And that was it; Kurt's teenaged, under-sexualized body couldn't handle it anymore. With a groan, he came in his pants. On top of his boyfriend. During a make-out session.

When all of that clicked in his head and he felt the sticky mess in his pants, Kurt turned bright red and groaned, this time out of embarrassment. He hid his face in Blaine's neck, not able to look his boyfriend in the eye. He was sure Blaine was going to laugh right in his face.

But, much to his surprise, Blaine whispered, " _Jesus_ ", thrust against Kurt's hip a few times, before groaning himself. Kurt's eyes widened against Blaine's skin. Did Blaine just…?

He pulled away and looked at his boyfriend. Blaine was also quite red in the face, holding a sheepish expression. When they made eye contact, they slowly started to laugh, both in nervousness and disbelief.

"Looks like the break did you good," Blaine said as Kurt rolled off of him.

"Y-Yeah, I guess it did," Kurt agreed. He looked over at Blaine and winced, "Um, sorry about the, uh, bite. It kind of left a mark..."

Blaine's hand went to where it was and then he shrugged. "I think my collar will cover it." Then he admitted, "It was kind of hot, actually. Like, really hot."

"Really?" Kurt asked, pleased smile on his face.

"Yeah," Blaine confirmed, grinning at Kurt's smile.

The two of them laid back down on their backs and just soaked up the moment. Neither of them were in a hurry to be apart now, though they knew they'd have to change underwear soon.

As Blaine relaxed, he looked over to his side and saw a photograph on Kurt's nightstand. It was the same picture that had always been there, a picture of Kurt and Puck from a few years ago. He sighed silently and picked up the picture, knowing he needed to approach the subject carefully.

"When was this taken?" Blaine asked, handing the picture frame to Kurt.

Kurt's face lit up as he took it, a hand tracing over it with fondness. "Noah and I on our first day of high school. I know, I look like I'm, like, twelve or something, but it was only two or so year ago." He laughed quietly, "I had come out to him only a week or so before. He took it so well; he never told anyone. I mean, everyone knew, but he never said a thing about it to anyone. I always appreciated that." After he stared at it for a moment longer, he handed it back to Blaine, "Can you put that back down over there? Thanks."

Once the picture was set again, Blaine sat up. Nervously, he started, "So…you tell him everything."

Kurt furrowed his brow, "Uh, yeah. Always have, always will."

"Right. Including what we've done together?" Kurt bit his lip and Blaine said, "He told me when I called him about coming over to see you."

"I  _told_  him not to talk to anyone about it—"

"Kurt, that's not the point," Blaine sighed. "I don't think it's his business what we have or haven't done in the bedroom. I know he's your best friend, but I haven't told any of the Warblers what we've done. It's just between the two of us. I thought that was the deal."

Kurt looked down at his lap in thought and then looked up at Blaine. "So…you want me to not say anything? About what just happened or anything else like this that happens?"

"I'd rather you didn't," Blaine answered. He would've been uncomfortable with Puck knowing about all of that regardless; people didn't need to know about the hair on his chest or what particularly things Kurt did made him moan more. But ever since the party, Blaine had become more and more jealous of Puck. Kurt had so many stories about him and Puck already knew all of Kurt's secrets. It was like a relationship in itself and, well, Blaine wanted  _one_  thing of Kurt's to be a secret.  _He_  wanted to be a secret, something Puck didn't know about Kurt. He wasn't proud of the jealousy of his motives, but he couldn't help it. He was only a sixteen year old boy, after all.

Kurt pursed his lips. It seemed wrong to leave that out of their conversations. Puck always talked about his conquests to Kurt, why couldn't Kurt do that back? But Blaine seemed uncomfortable with it and, well, he didn't want to make Blaine uncomfortable or upset. After a few moments, he nodded. "Okay. I'll stop telling him about… _us_. I'm sorry," Kurt said softly.

Blaine looked very relieved. "Thank you, Kurt. And it's fine. I should've made that clear from the get go." He smiled at him and Kurt smiled back, but it was forced. Something didn't sit quite right with the situation. Kurt just wished he knew what it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for how long this has taken. I can't put it in words how sorry I am. I really hope there are still some people reading this and..yes. I promise to do better from now on. Hopefully.


	26. Things I'll Never Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine is starting to reach the end of his rope with Puck's friendship with his boyfriend, but he knows not to say it out loud. Santana, however, has no problem revealing some dirt out loud and Puck is less than thrilled when the truth comes out. Kurt is just trying to keep the peace and figure out this whole dating thing.

Puck was majorly concerned. Like, really so. Not even two weeks ago, Blaine had called him to give his boyfriend, AKA Puck's best friend AKA Kurt, a sexy makeover type experience in order to make sure they could properly sing and perform a sexy duet at Regionals. It was totally unneeded in Puck's opinion, but he did it anyway. But now the Warblers were performing their Regionals setlist and the promised duet between the two of them was  _not_  sexual in the least. And on top of that, it sounded an awful lot like a break up song.

And, okay, maybe Puck was a bit teary eyed from hearing his boy singing lead in front of a packed auditorium, but he was pretty freaked. He hadn't talked much to Kurt over the last few weeks, nothing past knowing his dad gave him the sex talk and his bird had bit the dust. Kurt was busy with Regionals and Puck tried to accept that. But was that really it? Or was Kurt dealing with a bad break up and not telling him? (And, god, he was awful for kind of hoping maybe that was true.)

So as soon as Warbler boy stopped torturing him with a version of "Raise Your Glass", New Directions headed back stage and Puck managed to pull Kurt aside.

"Kurt, is everything okay?" Puck asked quietly. "I mean, you were great out there, don't get me wrong, but that song…"

Kurt didn't get the hint. "I know it went a bit higher than I probably should've gone. It was right in my break, like, if it was a bit higher I think I would've rocked it more. Hopefully it won't cost us—"

"No, Kurt, you sounded fine, I wasn't talking about that," Puck insisted. "I meant…did you break up with Blaine or something? 'Cause that song…what happened to the sexified duet you two were talking about?"

"Oh…yeah," Kurt said. He sighed and explained, "I sang a song in honor of Parvarotti. 'Blackbird'. And…I don't know, I guess Blaine was moved by how I sang as were the rest of the Warblers, so the duet was changed to something more emotional."

Puck raised an eyebrow. Okay, he knew, as did mot everyone in ND, that Kurt could sing the hell out of a Beatles song (Puck would never forget the complete punch to the gut feeling he got from 'I Want to Hold Your Hand', and he knew the feeling wasn't just because he wasn't on speaking terms with Kurt at the time and all that guilt), that wasn't a question. The question was, as he told Kurt, "Why the hell did I come over, have to deal with your boy toy insulting your sexual prowess, and then get chewed out by you, only to have you do a song you guys probably should've done in the first place?"

Kurt rolled his eyes, "Blaine just changed his mind, okay?" He pursed his lips for a moment before saying, "I'll see you onstage where we'll be accepting the first place trophy."

Puck rolled his eyes back, "If by 'we' you mean New Directions, yeah, I'll see you. Don't forget our bet, babe, it's coming to bite you in the ass."

Kurt cracked a smile and wished his best friend luck with a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. Then he continued to where his boyfriend had gone, unaware that Blaine had watched the whole thing from the other end of the hall, anxiety building in his stomach.

—

Blaine had no idea how they had gotten in this situation.

Okay, he actually totally knew how it happened. His boyfriend of several months, Kurt, bet his best friend of freaking  _forever_ , Puck, that when the Warblers won Regionals (Puck had scoffed at the idea) that Puck and Lauren would take them out on a double date and pay. In return, if New Directions won (Puck quickly changed the wording to "when"), Blaine and Kurt would pay for a double date between the four of them.

Sadly, despite a great duet between himself and Kurt and a solo he thought he did pretty well on, they lost to New Directions and their original songs. How that was even allowed in competitions, he wasn't sure, but they won. That meant, after burying Kurt's dead warbler, Pavarotti (and, okay, Kurt singing "Blackbird" after its passing was  _really_  amazing, but Blaine was concerned why that made him want to make out with Kurt even more, but he was pretty sure it was just Kurt's artistry on an amazing solo), Puck holding Kurt's hand the whole time (and glaring at him for bringing up Kurt's mom's funeral which, okay, was kind of a bad move on his part), they were now at Breadstix with Lauren Zizes pressed against Blaine's side.

Yeah, that's right; Blaine wasn't even sitting next to Kurt. Apparently Kurt thought it was more romantic to sit  _across the table_ from their date instead of in the same booth. So while Blaine and Kurt's feet would press against each other every now and then for a lame game of footsie, Blaine could see Puck's hand holding onto Kurt's as the two started jabbering on about some story from their past.

Even as he and Lauren watched without amusement, Blaine internally kicked himself. He knew at the end of the day that Kurt was coming back to their shared dorm building and they would definitely get to making out and Blaine could mark Kurt as his on his deliciously pale chest and Kurt would bite against his neck. Puck didn't get Kurt like that and that proved whom Kurt was really with.

But when the waitress at first split the bill with Puck and Kurt on one check and Lauren and him on separate ones, Blaine's doubts came flying back a mile a minute.

—

Kurt gave Santana another thank you—and that was weird to say to her, that was for sure, but she had really helped them with Karofsky coming out of nowhere—but blushed as her eyes seemed to linger on his neck. When her back was turned, he pulled up on his collar and whispered to Blaine, "You can't see any of those marks on me, can you?"

Blaine assured him, "Kurt, you can't see anything. I kept most everything way under the neck…not that I can say the same for you."

Kurt's blush increased and he attempted to defend himself, "You were going all for it and I just couldn't stop myself from biting, you know I can't help it. My weird little baby teeth go out of control every time you get me going."

"Well," Blaine said, ignoring Kurt's insult to his teeth, "I can't wait to get them going again later tonight when we get back from here…" He trailed off and started to press a kiss to Kurt's neck, but Kurt backed away before he could even try, leading to Blaine almost tripping over himself.

"Not  _here_ ," Kurt whispered, straightening up his shirt (as if Blaine had even messed it up somehow when they weren't even touching!) and looking around. "I don't like public displays of affection, anyone could see, and not just Karofsky." (Blaine bit back a snort of disbelief and a list of all the things Puck and Kurt did together when they were in public, even as he crossed his arms and rolled his eyes). Kurt cleared his throat and in a matter of fact manner, "Plus you know we're having a late, after-show dinner at IHOP before we leave. IHOP is open 24/7, Blaine, I have no idea when we'll be done; I might just end up staying the night at my house with Puck instead. I told you that."

"Oh…right," Blaine said, wishing his voice didn't sound so disappointed. He had planned on most likely staying at his own home anyways, but being reminded that Kurt was spending the night with  _Puck_  yet again was not making him a happy camper.

"You'd know I'd invite you, too, if my dad didn't freak out about me having you over," Kurt said. His lips formed an impish, playful smirk as he leaned in and whispered, "For good reason, too."

"And you still haven't told anyone about that, have you?" Blaine asked, without meaning to say it at all. He sighed as his boyfriend's face immediately fell into a mix of insecurity, sadness, and a hint of anger.

"No, I haven't told anyone," Kurt said, "Noah doesn't even know. Is it embarrassing for you or something? To be with me like that a handful of times?" Kurt moved his hand against his bangs, as if to push back out of place hair in his face, though they were all firmly in place at the top of his head. And while Blaine didn't know everything about Kurt, he was getting better and he knew that gesture was something he did when he was insecure about something, not just his hair.

Blaine sighed and moved in closer to reassure him, putting his hands on Kurt's shoulders, "Of course not, Kurt. I just want it to be special between the two of us, you know? I know he's your best friend, but it's kind of hot having a secret, right?" Blaine felt absolutely  _awful_  for not telling Kurt the truth, but he just knew Kurt wouldn't take it well. Kurt almost went off on Trent for making some crack about how his cousin wasn't amounting to anything because he went to Juvie; anything that was even  _slightly_  Puck related was a sensitive issue to Kurt and Blaine just didn't want to upset him.

His boyfriend watched him carefully, his blue-green eyes calculating, before he finally nodded. His lips slowly twitched up in a smile and he agreed quietly, a blush on his cheeks, "It is kind of hot, yeah. I won't tell him anything about what we do." He offered his hand to Blaine and said, "Let's go get to the theater; I'm sure this is going to be  _amazing_."

Even though Kurt acted like all was forgiven, it was far from over in his eyes. Still, he watched the show his classmates put on, glaring as the kids in the audience loudly made fun of his friends. Maybe he was stupid for missing McKinley if people like Jacob Ben Isreal and Sandy Ryerson were coming to shows now just to mock them. Maybe he was stupid for being upset with Blaine not wanting him to talk to Puck about what they did alone in the bedroom. Maybe he just needed to calm down; Blaine was the  _perfect_  boyfriend to him, why couldn't he just let him have this one thing? He relaxed back into his seat, feeling bad about his minor freak out.

Sometime after the complaints in the audience stopped, Blaine put his arm around Kurt's shoulders, causing Kurt to have to slouch a bit due to their height difference. Kurt hated slouching, but said nothing; he didn't need to whine yet again to his boyfriend over something that was so small and inconsequential. Instead, he focused on his favorite substitute teacher, Holly Holiday, as she graced the stage with her lovely presence. As she sang one of Kurt's favorite Adele songs, "Turning Tables", the words, " _Under your thumb I can't breathe_ ," stuck out in Kurt's mind, echoing in his head even as the song went on to even more beautiful lyrics. Kurt finally removed Blaine's arm from around his shoulder, the weight of his arm making him feeling claustrophobic.

Funnily enough (well, not funny to Blaine), when the rest of Glee club came out to support Mercedes, Puck wrapped an arm around Kurt's shoulders and Kurt easily rested against his chest. Somehow Kurt just never felt claustrophobic with Puck's arm around him.

—

"I know I've said this a zillion times, but you were just so  _amazing_ , girl!" Kurt cried out before giving Mercedes a huge hug. This was the fifth time by Puck's count that Kurt had hugged Mercedes since the show had ended (three times at McKinley, one time in the parking lot of IHOP, and now as they waited for the IHOP servers to put together tables so all of them could sit together. It was weird to be in IHOP, AKA the International House of Pancakes, instead of the usual Breadstix, but Puck was all for some waffles and eggs instead of disgusting, stale breadsticks. Plus this place was open all night so there was no rush to get out like there would be at Breadstix.

So that was weird, but not as weird as the little looks he kept catching Blaine kept sending his way. At first he thought he was imagining them, that the looks he was sending him from the backseat of Kurt's car as Kurt drove them and he sat in the passenger (hey, he called shotgun, it wasn't his fault Blaine was too slow) were just over song choice. He wanted to say he would've chosen something  _much_  cooler than the Ke$ha shit Kurt was into these days. Instead, he said nothing since singing in the car with Kurt required concentration since there were assigned parts and harmonies and everything and he was about to miss his part. Plus Blaine had to realize that Kurt said the driver got to choose the music when he was driving, but when he was being driven, he still chose the music. It was the one thing that truly annoyed Puck about Kurt, but every now and then Kurt would let him choose a song or at least play something that appealed to both of them.

Then they got in the restaurant and Puck casually took a hold of Kurt's hand, and Blaine shot him another weird look before turning back to Mercedes like nothing was wrong. He got yet another look when he poked Kurt's stomach and made his best friend laugh loudly and the look got even weirder when Kurt repeated the action on Puck. Puck just played off his loud laugh as a cough, hoping no one would notice, except obviously the dude giving him a weird look the whole time.

Thankfully, Puck was distracted from the strange looks (was the dude angry with him? Puck was actually trying really hard not to be a dick to him, what was he doing wrong? Was Kurt going to get pissy with him over some slight he apparently pulled on him?) when they all finally got to sit at the elongated table. Puck sat on one side of Kurt as Mercedes sat on the other—Kurt told Blaine he hadn't seen her in  _forever_  and this way he could look across the table to talk to him and wasn't that  _so much_  more romantic? (Yeah, Mercedes shared a small look with Rachel on her other side as Kurt said that even as Puck draped his arm over Kurt and opened up a menu). Blaine shot another look at Puck, but it went unnoticed as Kurt and Puck looked through the menu.

"I just want waffles of any kind," Puck declared, scanning the options of waffles. "Maybe I can get them to add cheese to my eggs, too, or get an omelet with it or something."

"Do you really need two meals, Puck?" Kurt asked, sounding like an exasperated wife, "Come on, get fruit or a salad if you're that hungry. You don't need cheese."

"Kurt, I'm a growing boy, remember? I can't help it," Puck said, "And I know now that you've finally hit your growth spurts you know exactly what I mean."

Kurt bit his lip and finally sighed, "Fine. How about you get waffles and I get pancakes and we split an omelet. Cheese and green peppers, no ham or bacon so you can be a good Jew tonight—and we're splitting a side of fresh fruit."

As Puck agreed to the option of sharing food, Blaine looked up from the menu he was sharing with Santana, "Where did Lauren go, Puck?"

Puck looked up in confusion, like he had forgotten Blaine was there (which, if he had, Blaine honestly couldn't blame him), and said, "She has an early curfew or else she'd probably be here convincing me to eat some bacon with her." Kurt made a face at that (and if anyone asked, it was only because he didn't want his best friend stuffing basically pure cholesterol into his mouth). Blaine didn't notice Kurt's reaction, so he just nodded and went back to reading the menu.

Soon their food was ordered and the chatter at the table returned to normal. Kurt talked excitedly to Mercedes and Rachel about an upcoming sleepover they needed to have; Puck, still holding onto Kurt, talked to Mike about Mike's new  _Assassin's Creed_  game; Tina talked animatedly to Quinn across the table about what they were wearing to the upcoming junior prom, since Tina was going as Mike's date; Artie and Finn talked about the upcoming  _Star Trek_  film, since Finn was a huge Trekkie underneath his cool, football hero exterior; and Brittany kept trying to find out who Blaine was and why he wasn't an actual bird. Santana watched with a smirk as Blaine calmly explained how the Warblers were not just a bird type (Britt  _knew_  animals, after all) but the name of the a capella group he was in with Kurt (his boyfriend, which just confused Brittany more, since, while she didn't say it, she was pretty sure Puck and Kurt had finally gotten together). While Santana normally preferred to be the center of attention, she liked watching this new guy sweat it out since the guy was too blind to the fact that he was always going to come second to Puck when it came to Kurt. And she meant that literally; if Kurt had to get both of them off, he'd whack off Puck before he even thought about getting his own boyfriend to come. Plus Puck would probably just come from the sight of Kurt finally getting on his knees for him, that's how pressed the guy was.

She laughed to herself at that thought (ignoring the part of her head telling her just how well she understood being pressed) and took a sip from the mug in front of her. As she looked back over at Blaine, mug still in hand, her eyes widened. No way, no fucking  _way_. She put down her coffee and leaned in closer. The guy was turned more towards Brittany so the side of his neck was exposed and it stood out clear as day.

There was a fucking  _bite mark_  on his neck.

"Jesus Christ, who knew Hummel had it in him?" she wondered out loud as she leaned in closer.

"Huh?" Blaine asked, turning his head to face her as Kurt and his gaggle of ladies turned to her as well.

"What about me?" he asked.

"I mean, damn, if there's one thing I know, it's marks," Santana said, "And  _this_  is a bite mark, you kinky bastard!" The whole table was now very aware of what was happening.

Blaine tried to cover it, but it was too late; Santana pulled down the collar more to expose the red mark, and the whole table was now paying rapt attention, like it was a car accident they couldn't turn away from. Even if Santana didn't have the proof, the bright red blush on Kurt's face was more than enough to show she was right.

"See, I swore I saw a hickey on your neck earlier, Liberace, but I thought I was just seeing things," Santana said as she let go of Blaine's collar and looked at Kurt, "I mean, I figured you were too prissy to do anything in the first place, and if you did, you'd totally just put on some pale ass concealer and foundation to cover up the proof, but apparently you're just lazy—or you expected your clothes to cover it up. Too bad for you, I see everything with my Mexican third eye. I bet you're covered underneath the musty layers of clothes on you." Yet again, it was only proved more by Kurt's deepening blush as he remained too embarrassed to say anything.

"Jeez, Santana, that's my little brother; can you  _not_  talk about him like that?" Finn asked, his face screwed up in displeasure.

Santana smirked at Finn and nodded, but when she looked back to the boys, both of them bright red, she leaned forward and stage whispered, "So, who's the bottom and who's the top?" The whole table definitely heard it, making Finn screw up his face and groan.

Before Kurt could squawk out a response about how that was totally not what it was like at all, the waitress came by with their food and Santana dropped the conversation. Puck, meanwhile, slowly removed his arm and remained silent for the rest of the dinner, barely even touching the omelet he was sharing with Kurt.

—

Later that night, after a drive of Kurt and Puck singing along to Avril Lavigne, Blaine was walked to his front door by Kurt as Puck stayed in the car. "I'm sorry Santana embarrassed you," Kurt offered.

"Well, she embarrassed the both of us, so I guess keeping our making out a secret backfired. Now I think they all think we've had full blown sex."

Kurt sighed, "What even is considered sex? I mean, we've both…been  _pleasured_  by these experiences with each other. Does that count?" He shook his head and waved his hands to dismiss that thought, "No I'm not getting into that…I already have to go play damage control tonight."

Blaine raised an eyebrow, "Damage control? Are you going to tell Finn he doesn't have to give me 'the Talk' or something? Because I'm not sure I could handle getting the protective Big Brother talk from him, not with how he looked at me tonight." Finn had shot him a few looks, mixtures of anger and something else he couldn't identify, but it was definitely similar to the looks Mercedes, Tina, and Artie also sent him. It was like he was trespassing onto private property or something.

Kurt looked at him like he was crazy. "I mean with Noah. I figure I can keep him placated until we arrive at my place, then I'll sit him down and talk this out. It'll be an awkward car ride if it's anything like the one over here—"

"What are you talking about? You two just spent the whole ride here singing along to music—"

"Yeah, but it was  _Avril Lavigne_ ," Kurt said, like that made it all make sense. At Blaine's continued confusion, Kurt sighed and spelled it out, "I always choose the music in my car and, don't get me wrong, I like some of her songs, but I didn't choose her this time. Puck took my iPod and put on her playlist, first of all, which shows that he's mad enough to break the rule over me choosing music. Second, he sang Avril in front of you and didn't deny knowing or liking her music. That's a big deal for him; he only turns to her when he's angry and/or when he wants to annoy me and I'm pretty sure him thinking we had sex without me telling him is why he chose to play her songs—and don't tell people he likes Avril Lavigne, he gets stupidly macho about that."

Blaine just blinked. Okay, that was some deep, psychobabble that seemed way too specific for anyone to know about anyone  _ever_. "…Okaaaay…" Blaine said slowly, still not sure how it was even possible to know that much about one person. After a moment he looked down at his feet and sighed, "Just tell him everything."

Kurt gave him a small smile, "Really?"

Blaine looked up at Kurt and, seeing his smiling face, didn't know if he was more upset that he kept Kurt away from doing something that obviously made him so happy or more upset that the idea of telling Puck made Kurt so happy. He tried to focus on how Kurt just looked so adorable when he smiled like that. "Really," Blaine confirmed, "The cat's out of the bag now—well, more like it's been dumped out of the bag off of the Empire State Building—so feel free to tell him everything again. It can be a secret between the three of us…" Even as he said it out loud, it all felt so wrong.

Still, Kurt beamed and thanked him. "Well, I better go. I'll see you Sunday night." He leaned in and gave Blaine a quick kiss on the cheek but Blaine, knowing all too well that Puck was watching, grabbed Kurt—his  _boyfriend_ , not just Puck's best friend,  _damn it_ —by the hand and pulled him in for a long kiss.

Kurt pulled away and wiped his lips. "What if your parents saw that? They already hate me as is," he said with a slight sigh. Even still, he gave Blaine a parting smile and a wave as he traveled down the path from the front door back to his car.

Blaine watched him leave and stayed out in the cold night air until Kurt's car drove out of sight. He wasn't sure how much longer he could play the patient boyfriend with Puck around.

—

Puck watched as Kurt and Blaine had some intense conversation in front of Blaine's front door. Kurt had left the keys in the ignition, so Avril was still playing on shuffle, but he turned the volume down low as he turned away from the window.

Every time he had any sexual encounter, Kurt was the first person he told. His first makeout? He called Kurt from the girl's house phone. First hand job? He sent Kurt an excited text. First time ever? He practically ran to Kurt's house to tell him right after it happened. Kurt knew who he slept with, how many times he slept with them, and a bit of the things Puck liked in bed because, well, some of the stories got a bit kinky when MILFs were involved. Okay, maybe Kurt didn't know about the whole strap on thing with Santana that had happened once or twice since the original time, but, aside from that, Puck told Kurt  _everything_.

He expected that Kurt would at least return the favor. While he wasn't overly fond of Blaine, Puck had prepared himself to hear about all the gushy, squishy details. Kurt had, at first, gushed on about how much he loved Blaine's hairy chest and how he had to keep Blaine's hands from roaming under his shirt because he wasn't comfortable with his body—hell, Puck had only seen Kurt without a shirt when they were four and took a bath together and when they went swimming. Now his chest was probably covered in marks. As the conversations about make outs started to disappear, Puck just assumed they were holding back for competition or something, not that, by the way, they weren't just making out anymore.

It just…it wasn't  _fair_. They had promised not to keep secrets and to be open and honest about everything. Kurt knew everything about him, every last fear and issue, but for the first time in years, Kurt was keeping a secret from him. And, not to be all girly or anything, but it hurt.

He looked back over at Kurt since the whole exchange between him and his boyfriend (ugh) was taking a bit too long. Unfortunately, he looked up just in time to see Blaine pull Kurt in for a long kiss. Puck turned back away, disgusted, completely missing Kurt's reaction as he turned the volume back up on the radio. Kurt got back into the car and the two started the drive back to Kurt's place with Avril cutting through the air (okay, Puck mainly picked it because she still kind of annoyed Kurt, if he was being honest, so, yeah, he was being really petty).

Eventually, as they finally hit the Lima exit on the highway (Blaine lived closer than Westerville but still outside of the Lima limits), Kurt's iPod shuffled onto Avril's song "Things I'll Never Say". Puck didn't get the song when he was little, but he definitely got it now. "Gotta love when a song is full of sexual innuendoes," Puck said during the first verse.

Kurt gave him a confused look, "I didn't think the sex lyrics started until the song about losing her virginity."

Puck raised an eyebrow and said, "Just wait." As the song approached the chorus, he smirked as Avril sang, " _If I say what I wanna say, I'd say I wanna blow you…away. Be with you every night, am I squeezing you too tight. If I could see what I wanna see, I'd wanna see you go down…on one knee._ " Puck turned to Kurt and was satisfied to see him blushing with his mouth open in realization.

"Oh," Kurt said quietly. "I…didn't realize she...wow."

"What are you getting so blushy about?" Puck said, trying to play it cool to not show how he really felt, "Apparently you and Blaine have already done that."

It was a very good thing Kurt had been driving since he was thirteen and was the son of the one and only Burt Hummel. After years of training in driving and lectures about driving safety, Kurt managed not to swerve at that statement. The only difference in his driving appeared in his knuckles clenching so much they turned white. "I was going to wait until we got home to explain. Is that okay with you?" Kurt asked, his eyes still remaining on the road in front of him. They were barely even five minutes away and he didn't want to get involved in an emotional conversation until he could actually look at Puck as he spoke.

"Whatever," Puck mumbled. He skipped onto the next song on the list and then crossed his arms and looked out the window. Okay, maybe he was being a bit of a brat, but he was also really, really hurt.

When they finally got to Kurt's house, everyone else seemed to be asleep. Kurt breathed a sigh of relief; he couldn't handle dealing with a worked up Finn on top of his very despondent Noah or his dad possibly saying something about keeping the door open. His dad hadn't said anything on the threat of Puck not sleeping in his bed during sleepovers, but Kurt had no intentions of asking him if that was the deal or not; he was going to ignore that the conversation ever happened so he could spend his best friend sleepovers like he always did, than you very much. So he quickly dragged Puck up to his room, door closed behind them, and, after a quick brush of his teeth and a change into his pajamas, Kurt sat down next to Noah on his bed. With a deep breath, he started out simply, "We haven't had sex, Noah."

Puck looked doubtful but said nothing. Kurt sighed and continued, "I promise we haven't, No. And if we did, you'd be the first person I'd tell no matter what."

"So why did you turn bright red? Why didn't you make a come back at Santana like normal? Why is there a bite mark on his neck?" Puck finally asked, "And why did you change in the bathroom? So I wouldn't see the marks there?"

"First of all, I never change in front of anyone if I can help it," Kurt said, knowing Puck was just being difficult for the sake of being difficult. "Second of all, you know I'm not the most comfortable discussing these… _things_ , so of course I blushed and didn't defend myself. Third of all…" Kurt sighed and rolled his eyes. "Okay, I'll explain everything."

He took another deep breath and, looking in front of him instead of at Puck, he started to explain what had happened. "Sometime after my dad gave me The Talk, I started to feel a bit more… _liberated_. I finally felt like trying things out. So, I experimented with some things over spring break. Finger wise." A slight blush formed on his cheeks from telling Noah everything, but Noah had told him about his first wet dream; he knew he wanted full details on  _everything_  not just him and Blaine. Since his eyes were on the wall, he didn't see Puck's reaction to that reveal, how his best friend shifted a bit in his seat and licked his suddenly dry lips. He continued on, "So when I saw Blaine next, I just decided to go for it. I…kissed him, it turned to making out and rolling around on my bed, and then his shirt was off, and so was mine and then…then I finished in my pants and then Blaine did, too." Kurt rushed out the last part quickly as if he hoped Puck wouldn't hear it.

Puck let out a small snicker at that, "You pulled a Hudson?"

"I guess it's a brother thing," Kurt said dryly, finally looking back at Puck. "And then Blaine brought up how  _you_  told him what I said about our scheduled make out sessions." Kurt raised an intimidating eyebrow and Puck ducked his head for a moment. "And he just wasn't comfortable with you knowing. And I can't blame him; I guess I wouldn't want Wes or David or anyone else to know that I did all of that. I definitely wouldn't want them to know that it's happened a few times since then. So I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I am, but I just was trying to make him happy."

It took a few moments, but Puck finally nodded and smiled slightly, "Okay, I get it. I just didn't want to think you were keeping secrets from me, you know?"

"Noah," Kurt said in a light chastisement, "I'd never keep big secrets from you. Like I said, when the full thing happens, I will let you know soon after. But for now, I think we need to stay away from all the details."

Noah nodded, "Okay. I can accept that. But if you wait more than 24 hours to tell me about losing your virginity, I'm going to hunt you and that hobbit down." He then grinned mischievously and said, "But, seriously, a bite mark? You can't leave me hanging on  _that_  detail."

Kurt groaned and went over to his vanity to start his moisturizing routine, Puck turning on the bed to face him. "I don't know what comes over me, but I normally end up biting him  _somewhere_. It's like my deformed baby teeth have a mind of their own—"

"Kurt, your teeth are  _fine_. I don't know why you insult them," Puck said immediately. "You need to stop putting yourself down, and that includes your teeth. They're small but they aren't deformed." Kurt smiled at him in the mirror before Puck shrugged and casually added, "I'm sure you'd give great head with them, too."

" _Noah_!" Kurt reprimanded, his face turning a brighter red.

"I'm just saying! That's good news for you; I mean, we already know you don't have a gag reflex, too, so can you imagine how great you are at blow jobs?" Puck continued.

"Oh my god, shut up!" Kurt said, his face even redder. "I may be sexually liberated, but not up to  _that_  point! I don't want to discuss this any further." Puck put his hands up in surrender and Kurt went back to his moisturizing as his face started to cool down.

"I'll admit, though," Kurt said after a few moments of silence, "I like Blaine, I really do, but him telling me not to tell you…it kind of pissed me off for a bit."

Puck cocked an eyebrow, "Really?"

Kurt nodded as he slathered on some weird smelling thing with a cotton ball. "Like I said, I know why he asked it, but him telling me not to tell you…it was weird. I'm so used to telling you everything. And, let's be honest, our friendship is not the typical one, so maybe we overshare a bit, but it felt so wrong not to tell you the developments. I felt like I couldn't talk to you at all because what if I slipped up and told you? Would that make him angry? Would it be a disaster? Maybe I'm overreacting—no, I definitely am—but I just was a bit upset about it."

Before Puck could even respond, Kurt unbuttoned the first two buttons on his pajama top so he could add some lotion along his collarbone (what could he say, the boy was meticulous about moisturizing). Right along the line of bone, there was the unmistakable mark of a hickey on Kurt's pale skin. Puck was a freaking connoisseur of hickeys, he knew for a fact that it wasn't a rash or a pimple or anything else but a mark from Blaine fucking Anderson's mouth against Kurt's skin. A fire started in Puck's chest, and not the good kind that happened before sex, but the kind that made him want to set something else on fire; for instance, Blaine's hair gel collection.

"Noah?" Kurt asked with concern. "You okay? You're glaring at the mirror."

Puck snapped out of his daze and forced a small smile on for a moment. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just going to go brush my teeth real quick." Kurt didn't look convinced but Puck rushed into the bathroom before Kurt could question him. There were some things he couldn't say to Kurt.

—

After the boys watched a movie ( _The Hangover_  at Puck's insistence), Kurt turned off his lamplight and the two went to the usual spooning position. Puck's arms wrapped easily around Kurt's body and Kurt let his own hands lightly lay on top of Puck's where they rested against his stomach. Over the years and the growth spurts, the position had adjusted into its current manifestation with Puck's pelvis against Kurt's butt and his nose near Kurt's hair, their bodies completely pressed together. It should've been suffocating, too hot, too much, and, yes, they normally ended up in different positions when they woke up from tossing and turning, Kurt especially, but it always relaxed Kurt to the point of sleep easily.

As he started to drift off to sleep, Kurt thought that Blaine should take tips on cuddling from Noah. After all, Noah's hold never felt claustrophobic at all. He knew that thought, however, was a thing he'd never say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This past semester was a semester from hell, but at least I got to be the lead in the opera. I just have been so, so busy, but hopefully, since this chapter was a particularly hard one to write, the next ones will be easier. Thank you for reading and for all of your support! I appreciate it more than I can say!


	27. Of Avril and Spencer's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt’s getting frustrated at Dalton, Noah’s lonely without his best friend at McKinley, and Santana will do anything to be Prom Queen. Rewrite of “Born This Way” and “Rumours”.

**Of Avril and Spencer's**

There were a lot of things people could fault Kurt on when it came to his friends. Sometimes he didn't consider their feelings before he spoke, such as when he told Mercedes she was using him as a crutch; sometimes he was very reserved and secretive, which was part of what led to the escalation with Karofsky in the first place; and sometimes he just complained a lot, which Puck would point out whenever they watched a movie he wanted to watch instead of  _Clueless_  for the millionth time and Kurt spent the first thirty minutes complaining about wardrobe choices.

No, Kurt knew he wasn't the perfect friend, but he knew if there was one thing he could always be praised for in his relationships, it was in getting gifts. Whether it was Christmas, a birthday, or just a random thing he saw while out shopping, Kurt had a knack for picking out the perfect gifts. And if it required sprinting through racks at Black Friday events or camping out all night for midnight releases, Kurt was there. His dad would often bemoan how he could never match Kurt's perfectly thought out gifts, all of which had come tied up with a neat bow before most kids his age had even moved passed macaroni art. Carole and Finn both learned of the guilt that came from Kurt's presents when they received handcrafted items from Kurt's sewing machine under the Christmas tree.

Then, of course, there was Noah. While Kurt worked hard on every present he gave out, his gifts to Noah often went overboard by even Kurt's own lucrative standards. There were handmade scrapbooks, old VHS tapes he bid way too much money on eBay for, and mixes upon mixes. The smallest gift always had the largest symbol behind it, such as giving Noah a pair of earplugs when Noah's parents started to fight. And Kurt's gift to Noah on his bat mitzvah…well, let's just say even his rich uncle couldn't compete with that gift.

So, really, it shouldn't have been a surprise that, since they weren't speaking during Noah's birthday, Kurt had been on the look for a perfect make up gift. Sure, Noah hadn't given him anything for his, but gifts were Kurt's  _thing_ ; it was his standard to live up to. And it shouldn't have been a surprise that Kurt stayed the night at home on a school night just so he could get the perfect gift for Puck at midnight right when it was released at Wal-Mart. Since it was a school night and his school was two hours away, it also shouldn't have been a surprise that Kurt showed up at Noah's house at 5:30 AM.

It  _was_  a surprise that Kurt snuck in with his own key instead of calling Noah.

He crept into Noah's room and, seeing his sleeping form, he crawled into bed and lay beside him. Kurt put a hand on Puck's side and just relaxed for a moment, watching him breathe. Sometimes he really wished he could cuddle up with him at Dalton; it would make the stressful class load much easier.

After several minutes, Kurt lightly sang, "Noooooah." Puck stirred a bit and Kurt repeated his name, this time a bit louder. He put his elbow on the bed and his head in this hand, posing himself perfectly as Noah started to wake up.

"Kurt?" Noah asked sleepily, starting to blink more in an effort to wake up. Once he realized it wasn't a dream—not like he dreamt about Kurt or anything, obviously, of course not—he sat up. "Is everything okay?"

"Of course," Kurt said, sitting up gracefully. "I guess you just don't realize what today is."

Noah's eyebrows furrowed together. It wasn't their friendship anniversary; Kurt's birthday was in May and Burt's was in October along with his mom's while Sarah's wasn't for another month; it couldn't be Christmas, obviously, and all other holidays were off the table. "March something?" Noah offered. He was just impressed he remembered the month.

"No," Kurt said. Then he corrected himself, "Well, yes, it is March, but that's not what I'm talking about." He grinned and turned slightly to pull a perfectly wrapped CD out of his messenger bag. "Tada! It's a random Kurt Gift Day—patent pending—to honor the release of this CD."

"Dude, you really didn't have to do this," Puck said even as he started to unwrap it. He had gone through this conversation too many times to count with Kurt and it always ended with him unwrapping the damn thing. Once the bow was set to the side and the wrapping paper was torn, Noah smirked and let out a small laugh. "I didn't even realize Avril's new CD was finally coming out."

Kurt mock sighed and shook his head, "You're the worst fan, did you know that?" He laughed as Puck gave him a look, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You know I just have to stay on top of pop culture. And it was the perfect gift and totally worth only getting a few hours of sleep. I'll listen to it on the way to Dalton and when I'm home this weekend, we'll talk and listen to it together and compare thoughts. It's a perfect system."

Puck wanted to say that the perfect system wouldn't involve Kurt anywhere near that stupid private school, but he knew better than to say that out loud. Instead, he pulled Kurt into a hug. "And now I'll be thinking of you when I listen to it in between classes. It'll be like you're back at McKinley."

Kurt closed his eyes and relaxed into Noah's arms. "That was symbolic part of it."

The two of them slowly pulled away and Kurt looked at the clock with sorrow in his eyes. The idea of driving back to Dalton, with or without Avril Lavigne's  _Goodbye Lullaby_  playing was daunting enough; the idea of driving back that early when he was sitting in Noah's warm, comfy bed? That was a nightmare. "Well, I should be going," Kurt said half heartedly.

Noah frowned as Kurt sat there, obviously not wanting to leave, either. He slowly smiled and said laid back down. "C'mon," Puck said, pulling Kurt back to lay down next to him. "My alarm's going to go off in about thirty minutes. You'll have plenty of time to make it there."

Kurt thought it over. "Well…the only thing I'd possibly miss is a Warbler meeting," he said, wrinkling his nose a bit, "And we're only working on a tour of retirement communities and it's not like we'll be discussing costumes or solos or anything…" Noah raised an eyebrow, wanting to egg him on in his rant about his current glee club, but he stayed silent as Kurt smiled. "Thirty more minutes sounds great." And with that, he snuggled into Noah's chest and got under his blankets, breathing in his scent and smiling peacefully. It wasn't long before the two of them were asleep once again.

Between driving, parking, and fixing his hair and disheveled uniform, Kurt just barely made it to homeroom on time. But he couldn't help but smile the rest of the day; the extra thirty minutes of sleep seemed to really help his mood.

—

"Mr. Schue?" Puck raised his hand as the teacher looked over at him. "Is it cool if I sing something?"

Everyone looked at him in confusion, especially Lauren. "You're not gonna sing something offensive again, are you?" she asked as he stood up.

"No way," Puck said, getting down to the floor and grabbing his guitar. "I was just…y'know, listening to something and it reminded me of this awesome song and, well…" Puck shrugged, "It seemed fitting for the moment."

The rest of the club looked at him doubtfully, obviously expecting a bit more of an introduction, or at least a bit more of the usual Puck attitude. Puck rolled his eyes. "Okay," he said, adjusting the strap of his guitar, "My, uh, sister's been playing the new Avril CD on loop." Finn raised his eyebrow at that and smirked, since he definitely remembered being told about his Avril obsession. "And there's a song called 'Wish You Were Here' and, well…" Puck looked at them, struggling to get the words out. Being vulnerable around them was not something he was used to and he wasn't sure he would be comfortable with it. But he wanted to get the words out. "There's a Pink Floyd song with the same name and it got me thinking so…well, I really miss someone right now." He looked down at his guitar, avoiding eye contact with everyone as he started to tune up with the band.

Mr. Schue smiled, obviously happy just to have Puck opening up to them. "That sounds like a great choice, Puck. Whenever you're ready." Puck nodded, still not looking at them, before having the drummer count off.

" _So_ ," Puck sang, " _So you think you can tell Heaven from Hell? Blue skies from pain? Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?_ " Skipping ahead, he continued, " _Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage_?" Sometimes Puck wondered if people realized just how much Kurt had given up to be at Dalton. Yeah, he had a boyfriend now, whatever, but he was a shitty one and he wasn't good enough for him and he had to sing back up to him for whatever reason instead of having solos like he could've at McKinley.

Finally looking up from his guitar, Puck continued to play as he sang, " _How I wish, how I wish you were here. We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year, running over the same old ground. What have we found? The same old fears…_ " Puck paused, looking at the window Kurt always gazed out of before Glee club started. Maybe they really did need to move on. He just had to accept that Kurt was at Dalton and he was at McKinley and that was okay. Maybe it was time to let go of those old fears of losing him; Kurt was allowed to date and make friends and Puck had no reason to be jealous. It shouldn't hurt him so much to see his best friend with someone else, right? And it wasn't like they never saw each other on weekends or anything; they were still attached at the hip then.

Still, he found himself playing one last chord and quietly ending with, " _Wish you were here…_ "

After a moment, the rest of New Directions clapped and Puck forced a small smile on his face before he took off his guitar. Mercedes leaned over to Tina and whispered, "Was that a love song?" Tina shrugged, not sure what the song was about. All the while, Santana gave Puck a calculating look, plans starting to form in her head.

—

"You haven't asked us anything about our New York trip," Mercedes said to Kurt. She, Tina, Kurt, Puck, Blaine, and, surprisingly, Santana, were all sharing a drink together. Dalton had let out early that day so Blaine and Kurt could make it down easily for an after school drink and Kurt was happy to be there.

"Is it because it's too painful?" Tina asked.

Kurt tipped his mocha cup a bit. "Yes, as a matter of fact," he said, before dryly adding, "But while the New Directions are preparing to perform at Nationals, the  _Warblers_  are preparing to perform at a nursing home in a strip mall next to a bank." Tina and Puck both laughed while Mercedes gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm so proud of you guys, though. I really am; your songs killed it at Regionals."

"I miss you so much," Tina said.

"Same," Puck said, finally speaking up. Kurt gave him a smile and a small  _aw_ , moving his head to rest it on Puck's shoulder.

"It's true; he even sang a song for you," Tina said.

"Really?" Kurt asked, "What song?"

"'Wish You Were Here'—"

"Oh my God, did I really miss your Avril debut?" Kurt asked, his eyes widening as he pulled off of Puck's shoulder to look at him better.

"No!" Puck said immediately, his own eyes wide and panicked. "I wouldn't sing her. Ever. Sara plays her constantly but I don't."

He gave Kurt a meaningful look and Kurt slowly nodded. "…Riiiight. Sara plays her, not you. I just thought maybe she'd influence you at some point. Because that new album of hers. That Sara plays. Nonstop."

Puck nodded. "Yes." Then he explained, "I meant the Pink Floyd song. Much more my style." Kurt nodded one more time before putting his head back on Noah's shoulder.

Tina, Mercedes, and Blaine all stared at the two of them for a moment. Tina and Mercedes were very confused by the conversation that just happened while Blaine was just trying his best not to glare at the fact they were cuddling in public while he was literally right next to him.

"Anyways," Mercedes said, "Isn't there anyway you can come back to McKinley?"

"I told him I'd be all for it if it wasn't for Karofsky," Blaine said, taking Kurt's hand. Kurt gave him a look, not sure why he had moved so close to him, and pulled his hand away. Puck didn't offer Blaine the same courtesy he had given him, glaring at the guy. Did he really just say he had given him  _permission_  to attend McKinley again? Did Kurt need that from him?

"Wait what did you just say?" Santana asked, finally focusing back on the conversation and not how Brittany and Artie were giggling a few tables away from them.

"Yeah, repeat that one for me, please," Puck said, his voice on edge.

"Kurt needs to be safe," Blaine said, a bit of a challenge in his voice as he looked at Puck.

"Kurt needs to make his own decisions and not be given permission by his boyfriend on what school he can go to," Puck said, his voice slightly louder and angrier.

"Can we please change subjects?" Kurt said, sitting up straight and putting his hands up in surrender. "I don't want to think about this right now, okay?" Blaine and Puck remained staring at each other angrily for a few more silent, tense moments before nodding and looking back at their drinks. Kurt breathed a sigh of relief and Tina and Mercedes exchanged looks; obviously Blaine was starting to see what everyone else had seen long ago.

As Kurt started them on a new topic, Santana looked back over at Puck, who was too busy staring at his cup in anger to even notice. Ever since Santana had seen Karofsky stare at Sam's ass, she knew what had made Kurt transfer. Karofsky wasn't just bullying Kurt because he was gay, but because Karofsky liked him. It all made sense, like why Kurt and his midget boyfriend said something about a secret when she protected them from Karofsky. Karofsky must have been upset at the idea of Kurt knowing and then made his life hell until Kurt left.

Honestly, she couldn't blame him. Well, yeah, she wasn't down with him actually threatening to kill Kurt, but she had to admit that when she saw Brittany being all-cutesy with Artie, she would think of cunning ways to push him in front of a bus, but at least she never acted on it. They were kind of in the same position.

And Puck's whiny, apparently Avril-inspired glee club performance proved just how badly people needed Kurt back at McKinley. Puck was acting like a complete chick without him, his little girlfriends were at a loss without his fashion advice, and, honestly, their alto and tenor sections were both lacking without the little boost Kurt would give them when he traded between the parts. If they wanted to win Nationals, they needed Kurt back.

…And if she brought Kurt back, everyone would love her. She'd change Karofsky's image so people would like him even more and get him as her running mate. She could totally win Prom Queen over Quinn, be the most popular girl in school, and get Britt to dump the cripple and get her non-cheating mack on with her. And no one was going to give the Prom Queen grief for dating a girl.

Santana suddenly stood up. "I've gotta gay," she said. At Kurt's eyebrow raise she corrected, "Go. I've gotta go." And with that she left, not even giving them a passing look.

"…That was weird," Mercedes said.

Kurt nodded and asked, "Has she been acting… _different_  lately? Last time I talked to her she was actually defending me and Blaine instead of insulting us."

"Not really," Tina said. "I mean, she hasn't been cheerleading you know, so maybe it's all affecting her brain. You remember what happened last year when Ms. Sylvester stopped having Cheerio practices." Kurt nodded gravely as he remembered how much Santana and Brittany fell apart; maybe that was all it was, but he was sure there was something else there.

"To be fair, everything about Glee club is weird right now. Quinn and Finn are dating, Sam's been quieter than usual, Brittany's dating  _Artie_ …" Mercedes looked over at the latter couple and shook her head. "It's all strange. Plus you're not there to help balance things out."

"That's true," Puck added thoughtfully.

"Yeah, but at least you still get sleepovers with Kurt; Rachel and I haven't been able to schedule one since February," Mercedes pointed out without thinking.

"What?" Blaine asked, looking over at Kurt incredulously.

"What?" Kurt asked back, his own face the picture of confusion. "Puck and I always have weekend sleepovers after family dinners on Friday. You know that."

"I thought your dad said no boys in your room anymore," Blaine said.

"Well, yeah, but it's  _Noah_ ," Kurt said. He knew his dad had said once that maybe Puck shouldn't sleep in there, but he hadn't talked to him about that since and Noah had slept over many times after that. Kurt didn't want to bring it up with him again in case he decided to actually enforce that rule.

Blaine just nodded again, not wanting to admit how jealous he was to Kurt. After all, they were  _just friends_. Yes, they were close, but that didn't mean Puck wanted anything with Kurt, even if he  _had_  sung a song about missing him. But that didn't mean that Kurt wanted him back anyways, right?

But when Kurt delicately wiped a bit of coffee from Puck's mouth with his napkin and a giggle, Blaine took a long sip of coffee to calm him down. His sneaking suspicions just seemed to be proving themselves true right in front of his eyes.

—

Having a visit with Kurt helped lift Puck's spirits, enough so that when he saw Lauren gazing longingly at the Prom King and Queen crowns, he went over to see her, ready to charm her off her feet. "Those crowns are a crock," he said. "You know what I found out? Not real jewels. Kurt's tiara collection is fancier than this."

Normally Lauren would roll her eyes at yet another reference to Kurt, but she was too focused on the crown to move her eyes away. "A crown hasn't rested on my head since I won Miss Tiara Toddler Allen County," she said.

"Are you serious?"

She finally broke eye contact with the fake jewels to look over at Puck, noting his shock. "Yeah. Three years in a row. I dominated in Western Wear and Runway, but my real talent was baby pull-ups," she said, starting to walk away from the crowns as she thought of her winning talent. She was always beating out those other little girls. "I was on my way to becoming Miss Ohio…that is, until the shoddy Zizes thyroid kicked in along with a love of chips and suddenly I was denied entry into the pageant circuit. They said I no longer looked the part. My dreams were dashed." She sighed a bit, just thinking over the stupid body rules women were forced to meet in order to be considered pretty.

Speaking of perfect, skinny bodies, the two of them stopped as they watched Quinn put up a poster for her Prom Royalty campaign. She rolled her eyes and said, "There's our future queen: a size two teenage dream."

Puck looked over at his former girl and then back at his current girl. Well, not like a girlfriend or anything, since Lauren still wouldn't say they were actually dating, possible sex tape or not. But as he looked back at the Finn and Quinn campaign poster, he thought of an idea. "You know what?" Puck said, looking back at Lauren with a smile, "We're gonna change that."

"How?"

"Baby, you're gonna get that crown," Puck said, "And I'm gonna be your king."

Lauren smiled at him, making him smile back. If this worked, they were basically demanded by royal decree to date. And since they were both badasses, of course they would win.

It was a foolproof plan.

—

"Kurt, we have to do something," Puck said as soon as Kurt picked up his call.

"What happened now?" Kurt asked, continuing to lotion up with one hand as he talked to his best friend.

"Okay. So I told you how Finn accidentally broke Rachel's nose, right?"

"Yeah, of course. We spent a whole conversation coming up with movie names for his killer dance moves," Kurt agreed, " _Night of the Living Pas de Deux_."

"Right," Puck said with a small laugh. "Anyways, so Rachel came in with these pictures the doc helped make of her face with Quinn's nose on it."

Kurt's hand dropped from where he had been carefully patting in eye cream. "No!" he gasped, turning away from the mirror. Obviously this was a bigger drama he had expected. "She's not thinking of getting a nose job, is she?"

"She is. Just like every girl at temple," Puck said with a sigh. "Look, I like the smaller noses when it comes to kissing, you know, but she can't do this. It's a Jewish symbol and she wants to take it off her face for Quinn's nose!"

"She's doing this because of Finn, I bet," Kurt said, standing up and starting to pace. "Rachel still wants him and he's with Quinn, so she thinks getting this nose will help win him back." He ran a finger down his own nose in thought. "True, not all of us are as lucky as me to be born with a cute little button nose, but that's beside the point."

Puck rolled his eyes slightly. "Yeah, yeah, your nose is perfect, Kurt we all know that. I'm sure she'd look super hot with your nose instead." Kurt thanked him and Puck asked, "Wouldn't that chick she's always yammering on about be disappointed? Barbra Streisand?"

At the mention of the legend, Kurt snapped his fingers. "That's it!" He went over to his computer and opened his browser. "Okay, you need to get her to agree to meet with you for an hour in two days. That should be enough time to put this all together. Just bring her to the mall and I'll take care of it from there."

"Wait, what are you doing at the mall?"

"You'll see, don't you worry—" Kurt was cut off by a beep on his phone. He pulled it away from his face in confusion and saw a call waiting for him from his dad. "Hey, sorry, honey, I have to go; my dad's calling."

"Okay," Puck said, a bit bummed to already have to say goodbye.

"I'm so sorry, Noah. I promise I'll talk to you soon, okay?" Puck agreed and the two exchanged their  _goodybe_ 's and  _I love you_ 's before Kurt switched over to the other call. "Hi, Dad, what's up?"

—

Kurt still wasn't sure how it happened. His dad had called him the night before to say he was going to pick him up for a meeting at McKinley the next day after breakfast, which was confusing enough; his dad had sworn to keep him out of that school for the rest of his high school career no matter what the cost since it wasn't safe for him. But there he was, right at 8:30 to pick Kurt up and have some meeting. All Kurt was told is that Figgins had called to propose a way to get Kurt back after a suggestion from a student.

This student, Kurt found out, was none over than his former bully, Dave Karofsky. Kurt had frozen upon seeing him in Figgins' office, but Mr. Schuester and the principal (and even Karofsky's dad) all said it was okay. Kurt slowly made his way in, his eyes never leaving Karofsky as Figgins explained the situation. Apparently Karofsky, along with another student, had started something called the Bully Whips that made the school safe for everyone. Kurt leaned back in his chair, feeling a small shred of hope as he explained it would be safe for Kurt to come back to McKinley.

"You know, you talk a great game, but all I'm hearing is talk, and talk isn't going to keep Kurt safe," Burt said, immediately making Kurt doubt that his dad would even let him come back.

"But an anti-bullying club will," Figgins said. "The fact is since they've started enforcing the anti-bullying rule, we haven't had one incident."

"Yeah, and if I took all the water out of the ocean it wouldn't be wet anymore," Burt said. He gestured to Karofsky and explained, "The bullying stopped because your top offender stopped."

"Mr. Hummel," Mr. Karofsky—Paul, if Kurt remembered right—interrupted, "Can I call you Burt?"

"Of course," his dad said tensely, enough so Kurt had to resist the urge to put a hand on his to calm him down.

"You remember how understanding I was about this when it all began?" Paul said, "I believed your son and that's because the David I was seeing wasn't the David I knew. My David was a Cub Scout. He was kind; he was a good citizen. I still don't know what was going through his mind when all this bullying started, but I can tell you the David I'm seeing now is my son, back again."

Kurt smiled a bit at that; maybe Dave had finally come out and accepted himself. Maybe things were really going to be okay now. But his dad just launched back into a fight, "Do you have any idea how much stress this has caused my family? My son leaving his friends? My wife and I spending money we don't have on private school because of  _your_  son?" Kurt looked back down at his lap. The last weekend he was at home, he overheard his dad and Carole discussing selling some items or putting another mortgage on the house; his bill for the final quarter was due in the next few weeks and it was money they simply didn't have. He shrunk back in shame, wishing his dad would let him at least sell some of his clothes or something.

"Look, you and I are the same age," Paul said, "I remember what we used too say about the gays when we were younger." Kurt looked up at him and narrowed his eyes a bit; the use of  _the gays_  combined with how Dave avoided looking at his dad made it clear that his hope of Dave being out was just a pipe dream. But Paul just continued on, not noticing Kurt's look or Dave's uncomfortable body language, "Now it's taken us a long time to figure out what's right. Why can't you just allow David the couple of months that it's taken him to figure it out?"

"Because he said he's gonna kill my son!"

"I didn't mean that! It's a figure of speech," Dave defended himself.

"How's he supposed to know that?" Burt fired back, gesturing towards his still silent son.

"Your words still matter, David," Mr. Schuester said gravely.

"I know and I feel awful about them, especially those ones. That's not me," he said. Dave sounded truly sorry as he said, "Not anymore."

Realizing Kurt had yet to say anything (which was odd, given how opinionated he was), Will asked, "What do you think, Kurt?"

Kurt paused as everyone turned to look at him. "I think he realizes what he did was wrong," Kurt said carefully.

"You're just saying that because you want to be back in this school so bad," Burt said rather unhappily.

Kurt gave his dad a significant look. Of course he wanted to come back, but he also knew something was up. He needed to find that out before he risked his safety by coming back to McKinley. "Can Dave and I speak for a moment alone?" Kurt asked quietly and politely. Before his dad could argue, he said "You can wait for us outside in the hall." His dad looked out of the window and realized that he'd be able to see if that guy took even one step toward his son, so he nodded. After Figgins agreed, all four adults left and Kurt watched them walk away.

As soon as the two were alone, Kurt's voice turned blunt, "What's your angle here?"

"I'm just trying to make things right."

Kurt wasn't letting him off that easy. "David, I know, remember? And I haven't told anyone." At Dave's look, he added, "Well…except Blaine…and Noah."

"Dude!" Dave said, his face looking panicked. "Why did you tell him that? He's gonna tell someone!"

"He saw me in the locker room after… _it_  happened," Kurt said calmly. "And I tell Noah everything. It's not like he's told anyone; I swore him to secrecy." Dave snorted and crossed his arms. "Besides, if he told anyone, I have much more dirt on him I could expose than he has on you. He would never even try it."

Dave lowered his arms as his face softened. "Why? It would have made your lives a lot easier."

"I don't believe in denying who you are," Kurt said, "but I don't believe in outing anyone either."

"…Thanks," Dave said softly.

"Just be glad Noah's on parole, otherwise he would've done a lot worse," Kurt said bluntly. At the other boy's nod, he leaned forward, "You owe me the truth. What's going on here?"

Dave hesitated before admitting, "Okay, it was Santana's idea." Kurt raised an eyebrow and Dave continued, "She wants to be Prom Queen. She figured if we got you back, everyone would vote for us."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I'm both repulsed and impressed by her Lady Macbethian ways. A Latina Eve Harrington." He smiled at his own pop culture reference until he noticed Dave's blank look. "Okay if you're going to be gay, you simply must know who that is. Even Noah does."

Dave immediately rolled his eyes again. "Of course he knows. He's your friend." Kurt nodded in agreement while still giving Dave one of those soul-piercing looks. He had no idea how the dude did that, but it made him all kinds of uncomfortable. "Look, I don't know for sure I am gay, okay? Stop bringing it up."

Kurt nodded and leaned forward. "Okay. I have several options here. I could tell everyone the truth about you—"

"Dude I said I'm sorry, you said you wouldn't do that!"

Kurt held up a calming hand, " _Or_ , I could return here and marvel with pride at your new anti-bullying movement, which I fully believe in by the way, and further endorse your campaign." Dave started to smile and Kurt added, "But I'll be helping you and your Bully Whips create a GSA: a Gay Straight Alliance." Immediately the jock's nose wrinkled and Kurt said, "Look, you may not have to come out, but you need to be educated. The whole school does, but you especially." After a moment, Dave gave in and nodded.

Meanwhile, as Kurt looked out the window to smile at his dad, Finn walked over to check out how the meeting was going. "You're gonna look out for your brother, right?"

"Definitely," Finn said with a nod. Kurt was truly his brother now and he was never letting anyone hurt him again.

—

Blaine knocked on Kurt's door and let himself in after a moment. "Hey, Kurt, you weren't in classes or Warbler practices today, so I thought I'd bring you some soup…" his voice drifted off as he saw Kurt's bags on his bed. Then he saw the TV and DVD player were unhooked from the wall and put back in the crate Kurt carried them in on. And then there was Kurt, over by his vanity, sorting out his lotions in whatever pattern he used; Blaine was never sure how it worked.

"…What's going on?" Blaine asked as he put the plastic bowl down on the dresser Dalton provided its students.

Kurt smiled and stepped away from his packing. "I wanted to tell you in person, I just haven't had a chance to text you to come over," he said, his hands together at his chest. "I'm going back to McKinley!"

While Kurt was all smiles, obviously expecting Blaine to be happy, his boyfriend was very unenthusiastic. "…What? What about Karofsky?"

"Apparently Santana is using him to get a Prom Queen title. She thinks bringing me back will make her look like a hero, I guess, and somehow he's popular enough to help the fact she's no longer a Cheerio," Kurt said. He frowned for a moment and said, "Heaven knows why, since she really seems to be acting strange as of late, but I guess that's her decision." Kurt shrugged and shook his hands to change the subject. "Anyways, they're doing some anti-bullying thing that has lowered the bullying rate down to zero, mostly because he's stopped bullying, I'm sure, but they reached out to me and my dad." He turned back to his vanity and started packing up his moisturizers again. "That's where I was today; I had to talk with my dad, our principal, Mr. Schue, Mr. Karofsky, and David in a meeting about all of this so they'd know I'm safe to come back."

" _David_? You're calling him  _David_  now?"

"Well, yeah," Kurt said, not looking up from his packing. "It  _is_  his name. We actually had a nice chat about things. He's obviously still confused but he seemed genuinely sorry about what he did and really repentant. It was nice."

Blaine crossed his arms, frowning at Kurt. "I mean, I guess that's good…"

"It is! We're even going to start a GSA, you know, to help educate the school," Kurt said. He looked up into the mirror and made eye contact with Blaine, his face falling. "What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy for me."

Blaine dropped his arms. "Of course I am, Kurt. I know you missed everyone there." He shrugged, "I just…I don't know, I hoped you discuss it with me before you made your decision."

Kurt turned around and raised an eyebrow. "There's nothing  _to_  discuss. The threat is gone. I'm safe to go back whenever I want. And my parents can't afford to keep me here. Just a quarter of the tuition here plus room and board costs more than most of my wardrobe and that's saying something. If I lived closer it'd be feasible, but I can't drive four hours everyday in order to afford this place. And all the scholarships are merit ones. Yes, I'm smart and I was an honor roll student at McKinley, but I can't compete with the brainiacs here for money." Blaine continued to look unhappy and Kurt countered, "Besides, it's not your decision if I go back to McKinley or not. It's mine and my family's. You don't get a say in it."

Of course, all that did was remind Blaine of that conversation with Puck. He looked over to the side, away from Kurt, and clenched his fists. Still, he nodded and Kurt seemed pleased enough with that to walk over and kiss his cheek. "Thank you for the soup, though," Kurt said. "That was really sweet of you."

Blaine finally smiled at that sand said, "You're welcome. I try." He leaned in to kiss Kurt on the mouth, only for AC/DC to start playing from Kurt's pocket.

"Hold on," Kurt said, putting his hand in front of Blaine's lips in order to pull out his phone. There was a simple text from Puck reading,  _Talked to Rachel, she's set for the mall_. "Yes!" Kurt cheered softly, quickly sending Noah a thank you in response. "That was Noah," Kurt explained, walking backwards as he typed, "He and I are planning a flash mob to hopefully stop Rachel from making a huge mistake." His grin grew as he pocketed his phone again. "I'm so excited for this. I can't wait to see his face tomorrow when I show up at school. He's going to  _freak out_. Best make up present  _ever_. I bet he's even going to do one of those spinning hugs like he did when he got out of Juvie."

That was the last straw from Blaine. Not only was their kiss and moment ruined by a text from Kurt's "friend", but he had to hear about his boyfriend planning to go back to that school to be with said "friend" all day every day? Kurt didn't have time to text him the news but had texted Noah about something else while planning a flash mob? He couldn't stand it.

"Oh my God, Kurt, I can't do this anymore."

Kurt looked up to him, both very confused and hurt. "Do what?"

"I can't pretend that I'm okay with this-this  _thing_  you have with Puck!" Blaine said loudly. "I can't have you back at that school with Puck. I can't go out with you and have him hold  _his_  hand when you should be holding  _mine_. I can't compete for my boyfriend's attention with his best friend!" Blaine ranted. "I get that he's your best friend and I love that you have someone you're that close to, but it's like you'd rather spend time with him than spend time with me."

"Oh my God, how possessive can you  _be_?" Kurt volleyed back. "Just because I'm not with you 24/7 or holding your hand doesn't mean anything."

"You spend more time in bed with Puck than you ever have with me. I don't think being upset over you two having sleepovers is me being possessive."

"It's not like we've  _done_  anything, Blaine! We haven't done anything you or I have," Kurt said furiously. "Noah is my  _best friend_. That's it. You're my boyfriend. And, at this rate, a really controlling one at that! You're trying to control where I go to school, how I sing solos for this stupid school, and even what I do with my hands in public apparently! I'm not stopping my friendship with Noah just because you're being irrational."

"Then maybe we should stop dating to solve this."

Blaine's words seemed to echo in Kurt's room. The two stared at each other, obviously not sure what to say, both still angry and upset.

Kurt was the one to break the silence a few moments later. "Out," he said quietly but firmly, almost scarily serious as he pointed his finger at the door. "Get out of here before I say something I'll regret."

Blaine took his plastic soup container and left. Kurt followed him to the door and slammed it shut, letting out a scream of frustration as he threw one of the Dalton pillows at the dresser.

Eventually Burt showed up with Carole and Finn to help move Kurt's stuff to their new place. Kurt left without saying goodbye to anyone and remained rather silent on the way home, not even picking up his phone to text Noah.

—

Despite the foul mood he had been in the night before, Kurt cheered up quickly as he finished unpacking his room and choosing an outfit. To wear to  _school_. He was glad that he wasn't scheduled to go back until lunch because it took some time to finally choose everything. And he probably went a bit overboard with his top hat and gloves and the straightjacket—obviously a symbol of his release from Dalton and, if he was being brutally honest, a possible release from something else—but it felt so good to finally be  _free_.

When Mercedes announced it was official, Kurt gladly raised his arms in the air and walked over the steps of the outdoor cafeteria. Just feeling the sun on his arms and the familiar smells of the bad cafeteria food while his friends looked at him was great. "My transfer!" He yelled in response to Sam's question. "Kurt Hummel's back at McKinley!"

All the Glee club that was there cheered for him, but as he ran down the steps, he was looking for one and only one person. Noah was stunned, his mouth open in shock but as Kurt ran towards him, he opened his arms. Kurt eagerly jumped into them, his knees locking around his hips as he laughed and Puck spun him around. "I knew you'd do that!" Kurt said as he kissed his cheek. "I knew it!" He laughed kept laughing as Puck kept spinning him around until they were both dizzy. He finally stopped when Tina said, "Hey, hey, spread the love around!"

Kurt gently slipped out of Noah's arms and let him take his top hat. As he continued to hug Tina, Mercedes, and Finn and high five everyone else (Lauren still seemed iffy about him), he didn't notice a sea of Warblers walk down the steps. It wasn't until he heard a throat being cleared that he looked up.

"Blaine," Kurt said softly. He looked over at him, flanked by Wes and David. "What are you doing here? Wh-how did you know the time?"

"Finn told me," Blaine admitted. Kurt looked over at his brother, but he just shrugged at him, not sure what was making him so upset. "David, Wes, and I had a number planned for your inevitable return to McKinley. I'd like to sing it, still, if you don't mind. I know these guys would like to say goodbye."

Kurt bit his lip but slowly nodded, fading back against Noah's body. After giving them a pitch, the Warblers started on an acapella version of "Somewhere Only We Know". Kurt loved that song. Well, he had, but now he wasn't sure what to think. He loved saying goodbye to the rest of the Warblers, enough so he even left his circle of Glee friends to hug them all goodbye, but after the fight last night, the song choice made him uncomfortable. It was like Blaine was rubbing in the idea of wanting to be alone with Kurt, isolated and, most importantly, without Noah.

When the song finished, Blaine was standing in front of him, actually looking pretty repentant. Kurt took a few steps forward to get a moment of privacy between the two of them. "Blaine…" he looked at him and knew deep down in his heart that it wasn't going to work any longer, but he couldn't just tell him that. Not like this. "Thank you," Kurt finally finished.

Blaine took his hands and Kurt gave them a gentle squeeze. "Can you meet me here after school, before glee club?" Kurt asked. "I need to talk to you. In private." Blaine looked very hesitant about it, but he still nodded his head. "I'll see you then." After one last squeeze of his hands, Kurt stepped away and went back to his circle of friends, all of whom seemed very concerned about what had just happened.

Thankfully, Puck broke the silence by declaring, "Guess someone gets a ride to class!" Kurt smiled gratefully and, with a small jump, got on his back and put the top hat Noah had been carrying on top of his Mohawk. He laughed as Puck brought him inside the familiar building, all while Blaine watched him from a distance.

—

"Thanks for meeting me here," Kurt said, holding his elbows as he stood in front of Blaine. He gestured to a bench nearby and sat down with him, looking at the other students all leaving at the final bell. He didn't have long to do this but he also didn't want to rush it.

"I'm so sorry about yesterday, Kurt," Blaine said. "I didn't mean any of that."

"Yes, you did," Kurt said defiantly as he turned his face to look at Blaine.

Blaine opened his mouth as if he was about to deny it, but, after a short moment, he closed his mouth and nodded. Kurt was right and he knew it.

"You know," Kurt said softly, looking back in front of him, "I know how Noah and I act is weird. I know we're not like normal friends. Everyone seems to think I'm oblivious to the stares and looks and all of that, but I'm not. Even if I wasn't, I know we're weird." He snorted quietly and shook his head. "I don't get why, though. I mean, if Tina sat on my lap it wouldn't be weird. I hold hands and link arms with Mercedes all the time. But as soon as I hold Noah's hand or sit on his lap or cuddle with him, it's not okay."

Kurt sighed and looked back at the buses lined up in front of the building. "The first time he ever held my hand, it was at my mom's funeral," Kurt said softly. "It made me feel like I wasn't alone. Every time he holds my hand or hugs me or is just there, he makes me feel that same thing." He sighed and rolled his eyes up, feeling tears prickling at the corner of his eyes. It always hurt to think of his mom's death. "Everyone treats us like we're weird just because we love each other. I can take the looks, I can take the comments from strangers," he looked back over at Blaine, "But I can't take accusations from my boyfriend."

Blaine looked down in shame and Kurt pressed on. "I get it, this is your first relationship; it's mine, too. I get that we're going to make mistakes. But you…" Kurt sighed and put a hand on his, "I felt like you were trying to control me, but I figured, you know, this is our first relationships, and you're younger, so of course you might feel this need to have control, but honey…I can't be in a relationship where only you're allowed to shine and I only get to have a moment in the spotlight if I share it with you. I love singing duets, but I need more than that with someone I'm dating. I don't want someone to get mad about my choice of school or the fact that I hang out with my best friend instead of them." He bit his lip, not wanting to add anything more to the critical words he just said. After a moment, Kurt finished, "I just don't think we're meant to be. I think we just rushed into this thing and maybe…maybe we were meant to just be friends."

Blaine looked up at Kurt and said, "I'm so sorry, Kurt. I really am."

Kurt gave him a small, sad smile as his eyes teared up a bit, "Me, too, Blaine. Me, too."

They both slowly stood up and Kurt said, "I should, um, get to glee practice. I have a solo I want to sing."

"Yeah," Blaine said, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. "I should, uh, head home." He looked back up at Kurt and offered him a half-smile. "Can we…god, I know this is what they say in the movies and everything, but do you think we can really stay friends?"

"You want that?" Kurt asked with a surprised smile. He wouldn't have blamed Blaine for slapping him in the face.

"Of course I do," Blaine said. "I think you were right, you know, about how we were meant to be friends. You're a cool guy, Kurt: funny, considerate, fashionable, sweet."

"I can't argue with that," Kurt said, laughing a bit before he sniffed and wiped his eyes. "I'd really like that, Blaine. You're really sweet, too, and smart and talented and I'd love to see you some more as friends." He looked down at his feet and then back up at Blaine, "Well, you have my number."

"Yeah…I do."

The two smiled at each other before Kurt reached forward and gave him a hug. "Thank you," Kurt said softly. Whether if it was because he didn't blame him or because he was taking it so well or what, Kurt didn't know, but he was all to thankful for how it all happened.

"Kurt?"

Kurt pulled away from the hung to see Mercedes and Noah waiting for him at the cafeteria doors. "Just a minute!" he called to them. He turned back to Blaine and said a simple goodbye before giving him a parting squeeze on his shoulder.

Blaine wiped his eyes and looked over at the now departing buses then back at the school building. Through the windows, he could already see Kurt walking with Noah, his arm around Kurt's shoulders. While he could tell Kurt wasn't his happiest or anything, he already looked much more cheerful with Noah poking his side.

When he scanned down the hall, Blaine's eyes fell on Mercedes. Sensing him watching, she looked out the window and gave him a sad, knowing smile. He returned it as best as he could before looking back over in time to see Kurt laughing in Noah's arms. As upset as he might have been, Blaine had to admit he looked like he belonged there. And once he took off his straightjacket, he looked freer than ever.

—

"Do you want to listen to some music? That might help," Noah offered while he and Kurt were continuing unpacking his room.

Kurt sighed and crossed his arms with a shrug. Telling Noah and his friends that he and Blaine were over was hard, but he wasn't nearly as upset as he planned on being. "I don't know…maybe." He sat down on his bed as Noah kept on putting Kurt's DVDs in alphabetical order. "I already scheduled a crying session with Tee and 'Cedes on Friday, just so you know. If all goes well tomorrow, Rachel can join us, too. But I don't think I just want to sit here and cry until I'm surrounded by my girls with a pint of Chocolate Fudge Brownie."

He sat down on his bed and Noah nodded. "Makes sense. But it doesn't have to be sad, you know. There's plenty of angry music you can jam to." Noah looked over his shoulder at Kurt with a smile and an eyebrow raise. Kurt slowly smiled and let out a small laugh; he knew exactly what Noah meant.

"Okay, Noah. Bring on the Avril."

Once Noah's iPod was hooked up to the speaker, most of the unpacking was forgotten so they could focus on dancing around the room to some of the break up material off of  _Under My Skin_. Maybe the words of "My Happy Ending" weren't fitting for how his relationship with Blaine ended, but few things cheered him up like playing the air guitars to crappy teenage angst music with Noah Puckerman. And when Finn came in and started to play the air drums, Kurt realized just how lucky he was to be back where he belonged.

—

Kurt high fived Noah as Rachel beamed. "I think we got the job done!" Kurt said excitedly as everyone clapped at the flash mob's performance.

"I can't believe you got all this done in a matter of days," Puck said, "Somehow you still manage to impress me, Kurt. I don't know how you do it."

Kurt shrugged and chuckled softly, "It's what I do." He looked over at Rachel as she laughed with Santana and Mike. "Ultimately it's her decision, but I think we helped her a lot."

Noah wrapped an arm around Kurt's shoulders as they walked down the mall. When they came by a Spencer's, Kurt looked in; through the black paint and T-shirts and marijuana paraphernalia, Kurt could see a line of vibrators, butt plugs, and other sex toys on the shelves.

He looked back in front of him, but not fast enough for Noah to not notice. "What are you—" Noah's eyes widened as Kurt's face went bright red. "Oh my god—Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, were you looking at dildos?"

"Shut up," Kurt said, ducking his head. "I wasn't looking at anything."

"That is a lie, Kurt, and you know it!" Noah laughed, clapping Kurt on the back. "C'mon, let's go in and give them a look." Noah tried to steer Kurt into the Spencer's Gift store, but Kurt twisted out of his hold and started jogging away, only for Noah to run behind him, wrap his arms around his stomach, and lifting him up a bit. Kurt kicked his legs and laughed as Noah dragged him over to the store.

A few minutes later they were asked to leave Spencer's due to their loud laughter and the fact that, as 17 year olds, they weren't eligible to buy any of the dildos they were playing with. "I guess I know what gift card to get you for your birthday."

Noah got a slap on the head for that.

—

"I know I'm biased, but I do have to commend Noah's choice of a Born This Way shirt," Kurt said as he leaned back on his bed. New Directions had just finished their number and were christening Kurt's bedroom with its first ever ladies sleepover. Tina, Mercedes, Rachel, and Kurt were still wearing their own T-shirts with pajama pants as they all got comfortable in Kurt's room, ready for a night of fun, each person holding a pint of ice cream (vegan ice cream, in Rachel's case).

"His 'I'm With Stupid' shirt was definitely one of the best ones," Rachel agreed, "But I would like credit for embracing my nose, thank you very much."

"Of course, Rach, you know I'm proud of you," Kurt said with a smile. "And of all of you girls. It took a lot of bravery to say what you guys said."

"Says the only openly gay guy in the whole county, probably," Tina joked.

"I like the shirt change by the way," Mercedes chimed in. "Last I heard it was going to say  _Likes Boys_."

Kurt looked down at his shirt and then back up at them with a sad smile. "Well, after the whole break up, I just know I don't want to date anyone younger than me…or, well, at least not someone more than a couple of months younger than me. So it had to be  _Likes Men_." The girls all cooed over him for a moment and he shook his hand at them. "Girls, girls, it's okay. I'm feeling much better already."

"Good," Mercedes said. "We know he made you happy, but you'll find someone again. Really soon, too, I bet."

Kurt smiled a bit and nodded. It was then that Rachel said, "Okay, I'm sorry, I just have to know: was Noah in with Lauren on the whole Quinn/Lucy thing?"

Kurt sighed. "No. She broke into the offices on her own and found out; Noah was helping me unpack the rest of my stuff when that happened. He was not involved in the least."

"I still can't believe that's real," Mercedes said, "I mean, she  _lived_  with me and I didn't even know her real name. I saw her give birth and never knew she was really a Lucy."

"Quinn fits her so much better," Tina agreed.

Rachel made a face but nodded. "It just seemed to help her and Finn's candidacy for Prom Royalty."

"Yeah," Kurt agreed. "It definitely backfired for Lauren."

"Speaking of," Mercedes said, "Who are you guys voting for?"

Kurt looked to make sure the door was closed before leaning in and whispering, "Okay, I love Finn, I really do. He's a great brother. But I  _have_  to vote for Noah. It's important to him. And he's my best friend; whom else could I vote for? Plus, Quinn's been acting strangely this whole year; I don't like the effect this has had on Finn."

"I have to agree to that," Rachel said rather bitterly as she shoved her spoon into her green apple sorbet. Kurt gave her a comforting pat on the arm; this night was mainly for Kurt's breakup, but he also knew Rachel still seemed to feel much more pain about Finn than he did about Blaine (though he already made her promise not to creep in on Finn or anything while she was over).

"I think he has my vote, too," Tina said.

"Me, too," Mercedes agreed. "I want to support Santana since she's my best duet partner, so I might vote for her for Queen, but I just can't vote for Karofsky. Not after what he did."

"It's a complicated issue I won't get into," Kurt said simply, "But I don't plan on voting for David either, no." He took another bite of ice cream. "The Queen vote is tricky, that's for sure."

"I support all of them," Tina said, "I don't know who to vote for. I do think Quinn might go crazy if she doesn't win."

"I honestly don't know who I prefer," Rachel admitted. "Santana has always been nothing but rude to me and Quinn is…well, the whole her dating Finn thing doesn't help. So I guess Lauren."

"What about you, Kurt?"

Kurt had another bite of his Ben and Jerry's to stall. When he swallowed he finally said, "I don't know. On one hand, I know Quinn wants this the most. On the other, Santana brought me back to school, so I feel obligated to vote for her. But if I'm voting Noah for King, I think I need to vote for his first choice of Queen. I  _do_  like that she's plus size and completely her own self..." He frowned, leaving the sentence hanging in the air.

"But…?" Mercedes egged on.

Kurt sighed. "But I don't know if I like her with Noah," he said. "Look, I think her confidence is great; I love hanging out with her and I think she's hilarious. But…" Kurt sighed again and ran a hand through his (already messy) hair, "I spent all of last school year watching him pine over Quinn. I don't like having to watch him pine over anyone. If she were dating anyone else, I'd love to see her make a guy beg like he has. But I don't like seeing it with Noah. I mean, he already got dumped by Santana for having a low credit score at  _sixteen_ , he was used by all his pool cleaning clients, the whole Quinn thing happened, and now he's going after Lauren. I don't like the girls he's choosing."

"So you didn't like him with me," Rachel said, her eyebrows raised, "You didn't like him with Quinn, you didn't like him with Santana, and you don't like him with Lauren. Is there  _anyone_  you like him with?"

"I don't know," Kurt said. "I guess I'm just never going to think anyone's good enough for him, you know?" The girls all gave each other annoyed looks as Kurt had another bite of ice cream; for a moment he seemed so close to realizing his own feelings. But then he shrugged and said, "But I guess he feels the same about me. I mean, he  _hated_  Blaine."

The girls stopped in their tracks. Maybe Kurt was realizing at least some things after all. "Yeah…" Mercedes said, "I guess that's true."

"It was pretty obvious. And it's even more obvious why he didn't like him," Kurt shrugged.

They all stared at him. Did he know how his friend felt about him? "…Why did he?"

Kurt looked at them with his eyebrows furrowed. "Well, he's not used to sharing time with me, duh." They rolled their eyes again, but Kurt didn't notice. "That's why we fought last year and that's why I didn't talk to him much about the break up. I know he was happy to see him go."

"But you two are staying friends, right?" Tina asked.

"Of course," Kurt said, "And I think that'll make Puck realize he's a good guy." He put his spoon in his pint of ice cream and put it on his nightstand, "But for now, let's focus on choosing a movie. I normally go for  _The Notebook_  when I'm depressed, but I think something lighter might be good."

Kurt got off the bed and started looking through his DVD collection. After shared sighs by his friends, they went up to follow him to choose selections. They all knew they couldn't force anything anyways.

—

Barely over a week later, the Glee club, which had bonded so well over accepting their flaws, was fighting like none other about stupid rumors going around the school. "I can't believe I really missed this place," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes as he and Noah hid in their special spot under the tree outside the cafeteria. He popped a grape in his mouth, "Everything even seemed so perfect when I got back, but now everyone's losing their damn minds."

Noah shrugged, "They're always doing that. It's high school; people always lose either their minds or their virginities."

"That was almost deep," Kurt said solemnly before taking a thoughtful bite. "Maybe I should work on the latter before I get swept up into the madness."

Noah was definitely intrigued by that thought, but played it off by saying, "I guess we can order off of Spencer's website."

"Ha. Ha," Kurt said dryly. Noah still seemed to have no plans on letting that go. He stretched his arms above his head for a moment before leaning back against Noah's chest. "I guess there's some truth behind the motel stuff. I just wish they'd believe Quinn; it sucks that she's actually being faithful this time and no one believes her because she was at that motel."

"Speaking of the motel," Noah said, "I found some of Sara's old stuff for his sister and some clothes I have that might fit him. When are you dropping off more clothes for him?"

"I can do a run tonight," Kurt said. "Want to come with? I'm sure Stacey would love to see you again; she thought you were the coolest."

Noah smirked but shook his head. "I have babysitting duty tonight. She's almost a teenager but Ma won't let her stay home alone, even for a few hours." He rolled his eyes but shrugged, "Can't say I blame her; I feel like Sara would do something crazy if she wasn't being watched."

"Yeah, the twelve year old straight-A student totally has something hidden up her sleeve," Kurt teased. "But okay, I'll pick up your clothes on the way there tonight."

"Sounds like a plan."

—

"I can't thank you enough for this," Sam told Kurt for the millionth time. Stacey was happily twirling around in one of Sara's old skirts and smiling widely

"I'm always happy to help, but even more so when it's a fashion emergency," Kurt said. Stacey giggled at that and Sam smiled as well.

"Still, it's really awesome for you to do," Sam said. He looked over at the clock radio on the table and sighed. "I didn't realize how late it was getting," he said. "Hey, Stace, Stevie, go get in your PJs and brush your teeth." They both groaned but when Sam promised them a story, they both smiled and went to the bathroom.

"You're really lucky; Noah's sister almost never went to brush her teeth that easily," Kurt said as he watched their blond heads run into the bathroom. "I should go before story time; my parents don't like me out too late on school nights anyways."

"I'll walk you out," Sam insisted.

Once they were both on the front porch of the motel, Kurt put his hand on Sam's arm and gave it a supportive squeeze. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Kurt said kindly. He always wanted to say something better than that, but that was usually all that came out.

"Okay," Sam said. "Thanks again for not telling anyone."

"You're welcome," Kurt said. Then, with one last squeeze, he walked over to the parking lot. Sam waited until Kurt was in his car before going back inside.

Meanwhile, Finn and Rachel watched from afar.

"I can't believe Sam's with Kurt," Finn said.

"I know!" Rachel said, her face indignant. "Kurt's finally broken up with Blaine and Noah's not getting any closer with Lauren; they were  _so close_  and now Sam has stepped in and ruined all of that! At this rate, they'll never get together!"

—

If Rachel needed anymore proof that Sam and Kurt were having some dirty little affair, Sam showing up in Kurt's Earth Day jacket was all she needed. Of course, Kurt just dismissed her concerns and walked away before she could truly confront him about what was going on in that motel room. That meant she had to talk to the next best person.

"Noah," Rachel greeted at his locker. "Shalom!"

Noah raised his eyebrows at Rachel's choice of greeting. "Shalom to you, too, Rachel," he said, "What do you want?"

Rachel did her best to act offended, "What? Can't one Jew speak to another in our own language without wanting something?" Noah just stared at her until she broke with a sigh. "Okay, fine. I need to know what's going on between Sam and Kurt."

"Sam and Kurt?" Noah asked with a furrowed brow. "What do you mean? Nothing's going on with them."

"Don't play coy with me, Puckerman," Rachel said. "Finn and I saw them at the motel near Lima Heights last night and I  _know_  you know what's going on; you know everything about Kurt. Now spill it."

"Nothing's going on," Noah said honestly as he put his backpack on. "And even if it were, it would be none of your business."

"But—"

"Look, if you want more help with that song in glee like we talked about this week, feel free to talk to me again. But if you're going to just talk about bullshit from the Muckracker, leave me out of it." With that, Noah closed his locker and walked in the same direction Kurt had left in earlier.

—

All of the New Directions but Quinn, Kurt, and Noah remained awkwardly silent after Sam stormed out of the choir room. Those three had looks of contempt and judgment on their faces, their arms crossed as they waited for one of the members to offer an apology or at least talk. But Sam revealing that he was homeless and had been receiving help from Quinn and Kurt seemed to stun them all.

Finally Kurt spoke up. "When I had mono at Dalton, Noah stayed the night with me before driving me back home. We ordered a pizza and Sam was the one who delivered it. It was his last delivery so we invited him to stay and everything just sort of spilled out."

Noah nodded. "Yeah. Kurt gave him some clothes right then and there. I gave him some of mine as soon as I could, but I guess my clothes aren't as well known as Kurt's."

Quinn stood up and put her bag on her shoulder. "Look, you guys need to make this right," she said to Finn and Rachel. "He sold his guitar and almost everything he owns. He's done everything he can for his family and this club and all you guys did to return the favor was spy on him and spread rumors about him. And about us." Kurt stood up and put his own bag on as he joined her down on the main floor of the choir room.

"Yeah, you'd think you'd at least think they'd do better than a motel room," Puck said once his guitar was packed. Both Quinn and Kurt rolled their eyes at him and shared a look. It made Kurt happy to at least be connecting with her again. Maybe he  _would_  vote for her for Prom Queen.

—

"So everyone in Glee club seemed to think you weren't a virgin this week," Noah said as he sprawled out on Kurt's bed.

"I really can't believe they think I'd have an affair in some motel," Kurt bemoaned.

"Hey, it may not be a bed of lilacs, but at least they thought it was with Sam. That's something, right? He even does that Taylor Lautner impression," Noah teased.

Kurt smirked. "Okay, it's true; the idea that they thought I had slept with someone like Sam was a nice ego boost. But Rachel and Finn both should've known that I wasn't going to just have sex with anyone for my first time." After a moment of thought he added, "Well, I guess after that trip to IHOP they all think I had sex with Blaine, so I guess they figured I wouldn't mind sleeping with a second person without being in love." With a smile he crawled onto his bed next to Puck. "Or maybe they just thought you were a bad influence on me," he teased again.

Noah shrugged with a grin, "That's what I'm here for. Maybe I'll encourage more rumors by lecturing you in public about how you don't have to be in love for your first time instead of the usual private ones."

Kurt laughed. "Sounds like a good idea. Now go put your movie in or I'm going to complain even more than usual."

Puck stuck out his tongue but laughed and got up. As Kurt watched him, he remembered how Noah had told him that many times before; he specifically remembered how Noah fit about everything he wanted for the person he lost his virginity to. Ever since their conversations about the matter started over a year ago, Kurt had thought about it on and off, but then he started dating Blaine and he crossed that thought out of his mind.

Now, however, that he was single and (mostly) ready to mingle…well, the idea was crossing his mind yet again.

But when Noah sat back down next to him, some Will Ferrell comedy sitting in the DVD player, Kurt pushed that thought away and grabbed a handful of popcorn.

Maybe he really needed that gift card to Spencer's after all.

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for how long this took, guys. I truly, deeply apologize and I thank all of you who end up reading this for your continued support. It really means so much to me. I also apologize if this comes across as rushed; I didn't want to write a whole separate chapter for "Rumours" but it wasn't light enough for an interlude, so I thought I'd stick it on here. I still hope you all enjoyed it.
> 
> Since I have a firm idea of what I want for the next chapter, I hope to have it up soon, but I'm also taking summer classes and life is busy. I promise I will do my best because the end is in sight and I really want you guys to get to read this story that's been in my head for years now.
> 
> Thank you for everything,  
> xLessxThanx3x


	28. Your Love is My Drug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Kurt decides on who he’ll take to the prom as a friend, Puck struggles with wanting to be seen as a badass again. Prom Royalty results and a Rachel Berry House Party Extravaganza 2.0 results in even more surprises. Also Noah and Kurt do good impressions of Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey pre-nose job. Rewrite of “Prom Queen” (2x20).

"Again!" Kurt's voice commanded from his bedroom. Finn, who had been walking by his brother's room, raised an eyebrow and stopped. He knew Puck was over and as Kurt giggled and repeated the word  _again_ , Finn's mouth fell open, a bit of the apple he was eating falling on his chin. He quickly wiped up the fruit residue and swallowed what was in his mouth as he pressed his ear to the door.

See, Finn wasn't exactly the type of person who wanted to hear his brother doing the nasty or anything like it, but he, as the only other glee club member in the house, had a duty to listen to the sounds behind the door and report to the glee club if anything happened between the two of them. It was like his unofficial but still official spy duty that only he could do. And since Kurt and Blaine had just broken up, despite how unaffected Kurt seemed on the surface, and Puck and Lauren were still dancing the line between official and not official, it could happen at any moment.

In fact, it seemed to be happening, if Finn was hearing accurately. "Come on, Kurt, if we keep focusing on the small stuff at the beginning, I won't have any energy for the end."

"You  _promised_ ," Kurt said, a slight pout evident in his voice. "This needs to be perfect." Puck sighed and then there was just the sound of some movement, Kurt adding a few noises, squeaks and sounds of confirmation mostly. "Oh my god, you're so good!"

Finn's eyes widened impossibly wide. Holy shit! He leaned in even closer, his weight starting to press on the doorknob.

"Well, what can I say?" Puck said cockily, "I'm pretty talented. And I had a good teacher."

"I can't believe how good this is," Kurt said excitedly, a small noise of pleasure leaving his mouth. "I can't wait for everyone to know just how good we are."

Before Finn knew what was happening, his body weight forced the doorknob to turn and he was falling into Kurt's room. "Finn!" Kurt gasped. "What are you doing? The door was closed for a reason!"

Finn started to stumble back up to his feet, his hand over his eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I just heard—I mean, I promise not to tell—"

"Tell what?" Puck asked. "Dude, why are you covering your eyes?"

Finn paused and slowly lowered his hand and opened his eyes. Kurt and Puck were looking at him with utter confusion on their faces and were, most importantly, fully clothed and nowhere near Kurt's bed. In fact, his bed was pushed off to the side as far as possible, as was the rest of his furniture. Finn turned to look at the TV when he heard a soft noise and saw a group of people dancing in some old movie.

"What were you doing?" Finn asked.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Noah and I are trying to master the dance in  _Dirty Dancing_. We've been working on this number for ages and since Noah can now officially lift me up like in the movie, we thought we'd perfect it and hopefully get the DJ or band or whatever to play it at prom."

Noah nodded. "I always owe Kurt at least one dance. We've had that plan for years. Lauren's my date, but I'm saving at least one number for Kurt."

Kurt smiled. "Yes. And even though I am probably going stag, I'm not letting that ruin the night." He grinned up at Noah and then looked at Finn. "Why? What did you think we were doing?"

"Um…nothing," Finn said, unable to come up with a better answer.

Kurt looked at him suspiciously but eventually said, "So can you leave? Noah and I need to practice."

Finn nodded and closed the door. As he bit into his apple again, he had to admit he was a bit disappointed it wasn't what he thought it was. On the other hand, he was happy to know he also hadn't heard his brother have sex. That was something he really never wanted to hear.

—

When Kurt walked into the choir room for rehearsal, the first thing he saw was Noah frowning in the corner, which would be honestly puzzling for most of the club. He and Lauren were still behind in prom candidacy, yes, but they were still ahead of Santana and Dave and he was sure they would pull ahead. After all, as Noah had pointed out at JBI's interview, he had intimidation and fear on his side.

Of course, Kurt remembered the viewer question JBI had asked— _where does Lauren keep your balls?_  Kurt had winced at that question and, now seeing him for the first time since, Kurt knew Noah was still hurt. Kurt sighed and left the prom dress discussion he really wanted to participate in to sit over next to a hurt looking Noah.

"Honey," Kurt said softly. "It's not true. You are still the manliest guy in this whole school. Being with Lauren doesn't change that." Of course, Kurt secretly agreed with that idea, but he wasn't going to tell Noah that. And, really, just being with a strong woman wasn't emasculating. Hell, Quinn was just as domineering; there was a reason why she was considered Coach Sylvester's mini-me when she was on the Cheerios.

"Really?" Noah asked. "Because I need something to boost my rep if she is." Making sure Lauren hadn't entered yet, he quietly admitted, "You know I'm not really into this prom king thing. I just wanted a way into her pants. But now she's getting way too into it and, yeah, I'm a badass and should win. But if I do…" Noah shook his head, "Once I win, my whole badass reputation is going to disappear."

"Why do you think that?" Kurt asked. "Can't a badass still be royalty? I mean, look at Prince Harry."

"Not when the crown is made out of cheap plastic and the results are announced in the gym."

Kurt was confused. "Okay…do you want me to vote for you then or…?"

"Well, yeah. I want us to win," Noah said. "But I just need something to help raise my badass rep. I can't have people thinking I've gone soft just because I'm courting someone." Kurt couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at that choice of word. That honestly sounded like he was spending way too much time with him, which was the first time Kurt ever thought that.

The conversation had to end there, though, as Lauren sat in a nearby seat and was soon followed into the room by Mr. Schue. "I have some exciting news. I know we're only a few weeks away from Nationals, but we have to work on some other things." Everyone seemed a bit confused by that until he finally said, "The band for junior prom had to cancel and, since most of you guys were planning on going anyway, Figgins asked  _us_  to sing for it!"

"Let's do 'Run Joey Run'!" Rachel said immediately, even as everyone gave her a look like she was crazy.

"…We'll talk song choices in a second," Schue said. "Look, I know you guys were planning on just having some fun and relaxing at prom. I get it. So we'll do things in shifts and groups. That way  _everyone_  has a chance to enjoy their junior prom."

Something about that made Mercedes excuse herself and leave. Kurt immediately stood to go follow her but Rachel insisted, "No, let me." Kurt hesitated but, after a moment, he nodded and sat back down.

"Okay, let's start brainstorming some song ideas," Mr. Schue said as he tried to ignore Mercedes leaving. "We'll need a good mix of slow and fast songs."

"And you need to make sure that I—and the rest of my prom royalty candidates," Quinn said, "are not involved in whatever song you want to have the winners dance to."

Mr. Schue pointed at Quinn, "Good idea, thank you. So that's you, Finn, Santana, Lauren, and Noah—"

"Puck," Noah corrected. He couldn't just have a teacher calling him his real name now, not when everyone already thought he was loosing his edge.

"That still leaves a lot of people. I'll think of something good for that," Mr. Schue said as he wrote the names of those who were royalty nominations on the board. He turned back to them and continued, "Now I was thinking we should probably recycle a few of our other songs from this year. That way we won't have to worry about learning hours of material in one week."

"'My Headband'," Brittany whispered to herself.

Kurt, on the other hand, nearly bounced in his seat. "Mr. Schue, if I may?" he asked, his hand in the air. The teacher called on him and Kurt said, "I think we really need to end with the stellar interpretation you guys did of '(I've Had) The Time of My Life' at Sectionals."

Sam and Quinn awkwardly looked at each other before Quinn voiced. "The last song is normally the King and Queen dancing together. Or at least when the King and Queen take yearbook photos. I'm still a strong candidate and I'll be busy with that. It wouldn't look good for me to sing with someone who isn't my King."

"Well, I think you'll have time to sing. And if it's after your win, it won't matter who you sing with," Kurt said. He stood up and looked at everyone. "Everyone should leave prom thinking they had the time of their life and I think that's a great song to end on. It's just the perfect mix of slow and fast."

Mr. Schue nodded. "I think that's a great idea, Kurt. Thanks for suggesting it."

Kurt beamed and added, "Plus Noah and I have a killer dance routine to it." He sat back down primly as Mr. Schue wrote that song on the board. And once Mercedes and Rachel came back in, the rest of the meeting was devoted to figuring out what songs they could put together quickly for the big event.

—

Kurt was extremely honored that some of the glee girls asked for his help with choosing their outfits. Sometimes he was sure he loved fashion more than even performing and he was pretty sure he was going to pursue  _Vogue_  someday. And as he praised Tina and Brittany for their choices and guided Lauren to the slimming color of navy, Kurt's smile grew.

It wasn't until he approved Santana's dress that he was finally asked about his plans for prom. "Well, obviously I have to go for glee club. So Lauren is so graciously letting me go with her and Noah to Breadstix and then I'll be stag at prom, I guess," Kurt said with a shrug. "Honestly, that's what I get for breaking up with Blaine before prom."

"You're going stag? That's so lame," Santana said. "Even Berry has a date."

"Yeah, but Brittany's going stag, too," Kurt pointed out, gesturing to the girl behind him. Santana's eyes flashed some emotion at that reminder that Kurt didn't quite understand, but he pressed on. "Look, I've thought about asking Blaine to go as friends, but it's much too soon for that. We only just started texting again. I don't want him to think I only did that to ask him for a favor. Besides, if I'm not going for a romantic reason, why bring him at all?" Brittany shot Santana a look that Kurt didn't see. "Sure, I'd love to not be a third wheel, but I'll live."

"I'd offer to help be a buffer," Tina said, "But Mike's parents are insisting we eat with them. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Tee," Kurt said as Lauren finally came back from changing out of that hideous yellow number. "I just plan on singing what I was assigned and having fun with everyone there. It'll be fine." Even as he put on a smile, Kurt was still bummed out. He couldn't believe he was going to be a third wheel at his first prom.

—

Puck had asked Artie to help him with the beyond brilliant plan to spike the punch at prom, but the guy was so bent out of shape over not having Brittany he refused. Honestly, it was just annoying to Puck. Brittany was a great lay, but was she really worth getting that upset over losing?

But then he tried to think about it from Artie's point of view. Well, Tina was with Mike and had been for months now and all the other girls were paired off. No wonder Artie felt lonely. And it had to be hard for Artie to get a girl who was interested in him because of the whole wheelchair thing, which sucked. Maybe Puck never hung out with him much before he used him as community service, but he was a really cool dude. And he really deserved a good date.

So Noah tapped into his inner Kurt Hummel and told Artie to woo Brittany back. Brittany would probably be moved by a song, right? It worked for every other guy in the club so why not? After some thought, Artie made a song choice and Puck recruited Finn, Mike, and Sam to help with the job.

That was how they ended up crashing the cooking class with a version of "Isn't She Lovely". First Artie sang but slowly the other guys entered as back up, much to the enjoyment of everyone else in the class, including Kurt.

…Weirdly, Brittany did not seem moved. She firmly said they weren't back together and Artie looked more deflated than ever. Kurt looked over at his friend and frowned as he and Puck left together. He really could relate to that. Maybe he was the one who broke up with Blaine, but he still felt pretty miserable about spending the night without a date. Being the third wheel on Noah's date wasn't really appetizing to him, after all, but he had a glee club duty to fulfill and no other options.

As they went on with class, Kurt felt an idea forming in his head. He cocked his head to the side. No, it was crazy. He couldn't do that…right?

—

"Hey, Artie," Kurt said breathlessly as he met him at his locker. "I wanted to tell you that your performance in Home Ec was amazing, as per usual. And I'm really sorry it didn't have the desire effect."

Artie shrugged sadly, "Yeah, well, what are you going to do? I guess I messed up. Maybe another cheerleader will realize all they wanted was a guy without use of his legs."

Kurt shook his head. "Artie, you're going to find someone. I know it. Maybe not by prom, but you will some day. Seriously. You're too nice and talented and funny and smart to be single forever. And someday another girl will see that."

Artie looked up at Kurt with a puzzled expression. After a few moments it slowly morphed into a genuine smile and he adjusted his glasses. "Well, thank you, Kurt." Kurt told him it was no problem and Artie asked, "So do I owe anything else to this visit?"

"Well, yes. I wanted to ask you something," Kurt said. Artie nodded to show he was ready for the question. Kurt took a deep breath and asked, "Would you like to go to prom with me? As friends?"

The shorter man looked up at him. "What?"

"Look, I don't want you to think this is some Finn thing. I'm not trying to chase you and I'm not trying to convert you. I just want someone with me when I go with Lauren and Noah to Breadstix and maybe someone to take some pictures with besides Noah at my place." Kurt sighed and shook his head. "I'm so insane, I'm sorry. It's just, Blaine and I aren't ready to do a friends date and the only people who aren't paired up yet in glee club are you, me, and Brittany and…wow, I'm so sorry I even asked."

Kurt turned around and was about to walk away when he felt a tug on his sleeve. He turned back and Artie smiled up at him. "Kurt, I have to say I'm flattered you'd ask me, even if I was a last resort. And, honestly, I wouldn't want you to have to be a third wheel. Not alone, anyways." Artie shrugged, "So why not? I'm friends with you and Puck and I think it could be fun."

"Really?" Kurt asked. "Because you really don't have to if you don't want to."

"Hey, I have to go to prom anyways," Artie said with a smile. "I might as well go with friends in a group instead of having my dad drive me."

"Perfect!" Kurt said. "We were all going to meet at my place for pictures if your dad or mom or whoever wants to come. Then Puck's taking us to Breadstix and then we'll be at prom in time for the first song."

"Sounds great," Artie said. "I'm guessing I'll be coming over at some point tonight or tomorrow?" At Kurt's puzzled look Artie smiled. "You're Kurt Hummel. I'm sure you have an amazing outfit picked out that I should pretend to coordinate with, right?"

Kurt laughed a bit and nodded. "I  _do_  have an outfit planned, yes. I'm putting on a few more touches tonight so I can bring you back home tonight if you want to attempt a last minute alteration. If all else fails, you at least get a preview of what will shock the entire school." After a moment's hesitation, Kurt added, "And don't feel obligated to dance with me or anything. I just need an ally at dinner."

"Of course," Artie said casually, closing his locker. "Besides, as you probably know, Puck's got me on this mission to try to spike the punch."

"He  _what?!_ "

When Artie looked back up, Kurt was storming off in the direction of Puck's locker.

"…I guess Puck hadn't told him that…"

—

Noah didn't know why Kurt was pulling him by his ear into a spare classroom, but he wasn't sure he really wanted to know. "What the hell, Kurt? Ow, stop it!" Noah whined until Kurt finally let go. He rubbed the store spot and pouted. "What did I do to deserve that?" Puck asked as Kurt went to close the door.

Kurt turned around, his eyes flashing angrily as he looked at him. "Artie told me you're planning on spiking the punch?"

Noah rolled his eyes. "God, Kurt, of course I am. Why wouldn't I? It's the perfect crime to get my badass rep back no matter how the stupid royalty thing goes and it's gonna be easy. I just need his help pouring it while I distract Coach Sylvester with my sexy dance moves." Noah gave a preview of his supposed sexy dance moves and Kurt looked at him like he was crazy.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Kurt asked. "First of all, Noah, I love you, but your dance skills are not going to captivate her. Second of all, if Artie is caught with alcohol do you realize he'll probably be suspended if not  _expelled_?" Noah looked a bit guilty at that and Kurt added, "And don't think that you can do it, either. You might be done with your community service but you still have a record. If you're caught at  _school_  with alcohol, you'll probably get expelled given your record and then more time in Juvie. Do you  _really_  want that?"

For a moment it looked like Noah was going to argue. But he finally crossed his arms and looked down at his feet. "No," he mumbled quietly.

"That's what I thought," Kurt said.

"But I gotta do  _something_ ," Noah whined, looking back up at Kurt. "I have a brilliant fake that I need to use and I can't just let it sit there in my pocket. I need to make my rep go back up."

Kurt sighed and pressed his fingers to his forehead. Kurt knew what it was like. He had his own appearances and reputation he wanted to keep up which was increasingly harder to do with the insistence of the Bully Whips program. He appreciated their efforts but he wanted to just walk to class himself. He didn't want people thinking he needed that protection. But at least it was nice to know that people had stopped caring about his sexuality. He hadn't gotten any hate since his main tormentor had stopped and Kurt really was starting to think that his own status at McKinley was going up.

So he understood that Noah wanted to help his own rep as well. "Fine," Kurt said. "Rachel was talking about throwing a party after prom since they don't have a school sponsored one for junior prom. You can use your fake and load your truck with some booze for the party. Then we'll spread the word around that you have all the alcohol you could want and people will want to buy from you during prom. You can let some people buy from you after prom ends, then we'll go to Rachel's, we'll party, and basically repeat what happened a few months ago."

"But Schue made us sign something promising we wouldn't drink until after Nationals."

"That makes you even more of a badass if you break the rules," Kurt said with a shrug. "And I doubt Santana or Brittany or Finn has kept that promise or will keep it. And even if everyone does decide to keep that promise, you still get to have the badass rep as being the guy who bought alcohol without bringing it into prom. And they're so concerned on making sure no one brings alcohol into school, they won't even notice you have some out in the parking lot."

Noah thought it over. It wasn't the best plan, no, but McKinley's staff was pretty lax on checking the parking lot after dances and games so he'd probably get away with it. And if he was selling booze to students after prom for celebration and rumor got out before and during prom, he'd be a legend. "Alright," Noah finally agreed. "I'll do that." He smiled at Kurt then raised an eyebrow, "So did Artie rat me out randomly or were you two talking about me or something?"

Kurt blushed a bit and shook his head. "No, he didn't come up to me to tattle on you. I asked him to be the fourth wheel with me for prom."

"Really?" Noah asked with a teasing grin. "I should've known you'd be interested in taking him for a ride."

Kurt rolled his eyes, "Please stop talking."

—

Kurt proudly looked at his handiwork in the mirror. He had spent lots of time since he transferred back to McKinley on perfecting this outfit and getting it right to his liking. It was all a big secret but he already had gotten several questions on the subject: just what  _was_  Kurt going to wear for his junior prom? Maybe Kurt was overestimating his status at McKinley, but he felt a bit like a style icon. And he wanted to amaze them. But any standard tux wasn't going to impress them and leave a lasting mark of what Kurt Hummel was and is.

Artie was right. Kurt had a statement outfit and it was probably good that he was getting a sneak peek. He didn't want his friend to be shocked when Saturday finally came.

So Kurt proudly came out of his room and headed downstairs to the living room where Finn, Noah, Artie, and his dad all sat. Honestly, it was the oddest assortment of people he could imagine, especially with Finn having a glass of warm milk while Noah and Artie had tea, but whatever. His dad said something about how he had gotten a half priced tux at his own prom and Kurt had the perfect cue to slide in.

"No need for half price off my outfit," he said proudly as he slid into the room, his kilt billowing around him.

"Because it's already half off?" Burt fired back.

"Yo, Kurt, that is  _dope_ ," Artie said. Kurt smiled; it was a fact that his friend slipped into his slang when he was only really excited. "Did you make that?"

"My  _ensemble_  is an homage to the recent royal wedding and the late Alexander McQueen," Kurt said. "And yes, I had to make it myself. There is simply nothing fresh off the rack for the young, fashionable man in Ohio."

Finn was the next one to speak out of his peers. Being the surprisingly supportive big brother he was, Finn said, "Dude, that rocks. It's like gay  _Braveheart_." Kurt smiled in thanks as he twirled around, letting the kilt circle around him.

"I don't like it," Burt said simply.

"Well of course you don't like it! It isn't finished yet!" Kurt chirped back. "I think it still needs a sash or maybe some beads."

"I'm not going to stop you from wearing it. But I got to be honest. I think you're just trying to stir the pot a little bit. I think you're trying to get some attention."

"Exactly," Kurt said, not sure what his dad was getting at. "What's the point of dressing up? That's why some guys wear the tails and the top hat and the girls wear the hoop skirts." Kurt looked over for some more support as he felt that his dad wasn't done yet, his eyes immediately finding Noah's. "Noah, back me up here."

Noah had been silent as he stared at the movements of Kurt's kilt. Of course Kurt had worn them before, but something about how proudly Kurt had been twirling made it so… _different_. It was like he was in a Cheerios skirt and Noah did  _not_  need those images in his head again. He struggled with a proper answer before finally saying, "I get his point? I mean I think it's awesome, but I get what he's saying. He just wants you to be safe."

"Exactly," Burt said. "Look, there are a lot of bad guys out there, Kurt, a lot worse than Karofsky. And all they're looking for is a match to light a fire for their hate. Of course I want you to be yourself. But I also want you to be practicable."

There was a few seconds of silence as Kurt looked around at his friends for support. Finn was clearly thinking over what his stepdad said while Noah looked down at his lap and Artie looked a bit uncomfortable to be a part of this situation.

"I have done everything right," Kurt finally said quietly. "I can understand your concern, but I worked hard on this and I'm wearing it." With that, he turned sharply, the kilt swishing with him and went back to the stairs.

Burt sighed and looked over at Noah. Finn did the same and Artie followed suit. Noah looked up from his lap and at all of them and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah," Noah sighed. He got off the couch and quickly jogged up to Kurt's room.

He knocked on the door and was told to come in, finding Kurt in just an undershirt and tights as he put his outfit away. He looked at the door and rolled his eyes before getting back to changing. "Why didn't you defend me?" Kurt asked. "Don't you know how hard I've worked on this?"

"Of course I know you've worked hard, Kurt. And it's awesome," Noah said. "But I just get your dad's point of view. I'm not sure it's the best thing to wear at a school like ours."

"But everyone's been so great since I've been back," Kurt protested as he started to shimmy into the tight pants he was wearing earlier. "Look, I get what he was saying, I do, but no one cares anymore. They're not going to do anything because of what I wear to prom. It's fine."

Kurt sat down on his bed and looked at his reflection in his vanity's mirror. "I'm tired of being looked after, Noah," he said softly. "I don't want to have to watch what I do because of who I am. I'm proud of that outfit and so many men wear kilts without a problem. I don't want to spend my prom in an outfit I don't like because of a few narrow-minded people." He looked up at Noah's eyes in the mirror. "Don't you understand? You don't want them to think you're anything less than a badass. I don't want them to think I'm hiding myself."

Noah looked into Kurt's eyes for a moment longer before nodding. "Okay, I get it," Noah said. "And I support you wearing your outfit. We all do. And if anyone so much as looks twice, I'll punch them in the face." Kurt rolled his eyes but laughed. "Now come on, I know you have more work to do so you should drop of me and Artie now."

After a few more minutes, Kurt was dressed in his outfit from school and Noah got Artie in the back of Kurt's car. As they started on the way to Artie's house, Kurt put on some Ke$ha on shuffle. Noah groaned at first but he didn't need any goading from Kurt to start singing.

" _I never thought that you would be the ooooone acting like a slut when I was gone. Maybe you shouldn't—oh oh oh—kiss and tell_ ," Kurt sang with his best friend. Then Noah kept the melody as Kurt sang a higher melody they had worked out over months of singing the song in the car,  _"You really should've kept it in your pants, I'm hearing dirty stories from your friends. Maybe you shouldn't—oh oh oh—kiss and tell!_ "

"That one went really well," Kurt said, turning down the music as he laughed. "Sorry, Artie, we have a lot of car harmonies and duets planned out. Feel free to jump in on what you can, though!"

"I'm cool," Artie said as Kurt turned the music back up for another song. He just watched with a smile until they finally got to his place. As annoying as it could be to be around them when they were obviously so in love yet not together, at least he could appreciate that they were cute. Even in his dumped state he could recognize that.

—

A few days later, Artie's mom brought him over to the Hummel-Hudson's as Lauren and Puck parked out on the driveway. "You're going to get a ton of pictures at Quinn's place, right?" Carole asked Finn for the thousandth time that night.

"Yes, mom," Finn exasperatedly confirmed.

"Okay, okay, just let me get a few pictures of you in your tux." Finn grumbled but smiled for her camera. And when Kurt came down a few moments later, she forced them together for brother pictures. Kurt had a lot of fun posing but Finn just wanted to leave. Finally Puck's mom arrived and that gave Finn an excuse to head out so his mom could take over photographing the four other teens.

They started with group shots, Artie's mom eagerly joining in the process with Carole and Mae. First Kurt started out standing, then, with Artie's permission, he balanced himself on Artie's lap and took some silly pictures with just him. Then Lauren and Noah stood together in various poses. Finally Mae declared, "Noah, Kurt, we need shots of you two."

"Yeah, you've been waiting for your first prom since you were four, Kurt," Burt said from where he was watching the mayhem. "We need at least  _some_  pictures."

"Of course," Kurt agreed. Noah nodded and Lauren got out of shot to watch with an amused look on her face.

The two started out simply enough with just Noah's arm around Kurt's shoulder. Then Kurt suggested a back-to-back arms crossed look that turned into a  _Charlie's Angels_  pose which then turned into a fake prom photo, Noah's hands on Kurt's waist as Kurt looked into the distance. The last shot was the two of them posed under a photo on the wall of the two of them on their first play date.

"Awww," Carole cooed. Even Artie's mom commented on how cute it was.

Kurt looked at his watch. "Okay, we need to leave now so we can make that reservation. You know everyone in town is going to be eating there tonight." He gave Carole a kiss on the cheek and his dad a hug as everyone said goodbye. After a reminder that they were having a party at Rachel's after, they went off to dinner at Breadstix.

"Do you think they'll be taking real prom photos next year?" Carole asked Burt and Mae when everyone else had left.

"I have a feeling they won't need much longer," Burt said with a smile. "Prom does crazy things for teenagers in love."

—

While everyone had access to the list of full songs being performed at prom, most of them only looked at who was singing before them so they knew when to head to the stage so there were still a lot of surprises along the way. The biggest surprise of the night for Kurt was when Artie, Sam, and Noah got on stage and started singing, of all things, Rebecca Black's "Friday".

First of all, it was a  _Saturday_ , which made the song pretty pointless to sing. Second of all,  _it was Rebecca Black's "Friday"_. After all the big fuss Noah made over his reputation he was singing Rebecca Black. Kurt rolled his eyes at that fact but still danced along.

However, his plan for Noah's reputation did seem to be working. He was getting some punch after it ended and heard two boys whisper about how they were going to buy some beer from him after prom. Kurt smiled brightly and grabbed his drink. His own duet with Tina was coming up soon enough, he had a delightful dinner with three friends, and he had gotten several compliments on his daring fashion statement. All in all, this was a prom to remember.

—

Tina and Kurt made their way on stage and each grabbed a microphone. With a cue to the band, a guitar riff started and Kurt swore he heard Noah whoop all the way from the back of the auditorium. The two soloists grinned at each other before Tina took a step forward. " _He was a boy and she was a girl. Can I make it anymore obvious?"_

Kurt took a step forward and sang, " _He was a punk, she did ballet. What more can I say?_ "

_"He wanted her, she'd never tell. Secretly she wanted him as well."_

_"But all of her friends stuck up their nose_ ," Kurt sang, sticking up his own nose. " _They had a problem with his baggy clothes."_

Together the two sang and jumped on stage, the audience surprisingly very into the blast from the past.  _"He was a skater boy she said see ya later boy. He wasn't good enough for her. She had a pretty face but her head was up in space. She needed to come back down to earth…"_

The two of them kept up their duet with great energy, throwing in some harmonies and some synchronized dance moves along the way, both of their outfits billowing around them. When they finally finished, Rachel traded places with them for a solo number and Noah soon wrapped up Kurt in a hug. He laughed and told him to save it for later, unaware of a few whispers that surrounded him.

—

Finally, the moment of truth came. The candidates for Prom King and Queen were called up to the stage and Kurt watched with anticipation, his fingers crossed. Most everyone he talked to in glee had voted for Noah, but that was only a small part of the population. So many people had been talking about his stunt so Kurt could only hope that helped. He really wanted Noah to have this.

"This year's Junior Prom King is…" Figgins opened the envelope and read, "Noah Puckerman."

There was applause all over the gymnasium, but none louder that Kurt as he jumped up and down for his best friend. Noah looked absolutely stunned for a few moments before brushing it off and smirking as he accepted the crown. Lauren stood very smugly as Quinn and Santana both seethed next to her. Kurt thought it was rather dumb; yes, they may have promoted in pairs, but the voting was done separately and it was very likely one of them would win. But, honestly, Kurt didn't care who was Queen; it only mattered that Noah was King.

"And this year's Junior Prom Queen is, by a number of write in votes…" Kurt frowned. Write in votes? Who the heck did they vote for?

Figgins froze as if he didn't want to read the name. He stared at the piece of paper for a few moments before reading out the winner.

"Kurt Hummel."

Kurt felt his chest tighten as his eyes widened. Prom  _Queen_? Him? It had to be a mistake, right? But people turned his way and started to whisper and then there were a few laughs and even  _claps_. People wanted this. It wasn't a mistake. People had decided he was a girl and had chosen to humiliate him. His dad was right; there were just a whole bunch of cruel people in the world and he was just a match for their flame of hate.

He felt his eyes start to sting and his lips tremble. Oh no, he couldn't cry. Not here, not now. Kurt started to run, needing to get out of the way, out of everyone's eyesight, out of everyone's laughter. Even as he ran some sobs became audible, but he didn't even notice Noah running after him, tossing his crown on the stage floor.

Noah called after him a few times before Kurt finally stopped running, his face bunched up as he cried in the empty hallway. "I thought things were different. I thought things were finally right. I thought if no one was quiet that I was okay," Kurt ranted. "I actually thought I was a part of this school, not just its biggest joke."

"Kurt…" Noah said softly. "Kurt, you aren't a joke. And this isn't your fault. It's some sick joke probably cooked up by Azimio or something."

"It doesn't matter who did it. What matters is that they did it to humiliate me right as I led my guard down," Kurt said, sniffing a little. He looked at Noah. "And  _you_. They wanted to humiliate you." Kurt shook his head and gestured at Noah. "Look at all of this. You've gotten so much crap for being my friend and now they're accusing you of being my-my boyfriend or something! They're trying to humiliate you, too."

"I'll be fine, Kurt. Even if this was aimed at me, my rep is through the roof right now. I have so many kids asking me about my trunk situation." Noah sounded proud for a moment but he continued to give Kurt a sympathetic look. He pulled Kurt in for a hug and lightly pressed Kurt's head into his shoulder. "We can go if you want to, Kurt. We don't have to stay. Whatever you want to do, name it."

"We can't just go," Kurt mumbled against Noah's shoulder. "Lauren and Artie are here and they rode with us. Besides, Lauren's your date."

Noah hesitated before saying, "Kurt, I don't think she's going to be my date any longer. She wanted me to win Prom Queen. And, well…" Kurt let out a small sob and Noah ran his hand over Kurt's back.

"I'm so sorry."

"Kurt, it's not your fault. Don't apologize."

Kurt nodded and, after a few more moments, he finally pulled away, his face determined. "I'm going back out there," he said quietly. "I'm not letting them think they can embarrass me. I'm going to own this moment."

Noah smiled, "There's the Kurt we all love."

Kurt smiled a bit, a touch of a smirk in there. "Then we're going to go to make sure they know they're buying anything they want from you at double the price you bought it and I'm drinking the rest." Noah's mouth opened to say something but Kurt pressed on. "You know what? I wanted a traditional prom night. I have the dumb pictures, the awkward date, and the embarrassment. Now I just need to get drunk. And that's what they get for messing with me, double the price of the alcohol they wanted."

The two were silent for a while. When Noah spoke up, he said, "Okay. I think that's fair." Noah pulled him back in for another hug before taking Kurt's hand and leading him back inside the gymnasium.

—

Tina, Mercedes, Mike, Artie, and Sam all gathered on stage, as the room was full of whispers. "That was…unexpected," Artie said.

"No kidding," Mercedes said. "God, poor Kurt.

"I'm sure they meant to be jerks," Tina added, "but part of me is wondering if some people wrote Kurt in as a misguided attempt to be nice or maybe they thought they were a couple."

"I guess it's possible," Mike said. "I don't know, though."

"I doubt it. But the least we can do is make their dance memorable." Everyone looked over at Sam with that. He raised his hands in surrender. "I'm just saying. We all know Kurt will most likely come back in here. I think they deserve a special song."

They all looked at each other and nodded. Before they could think of anything else, Rachel and Quinn came back, soon followed by Santana and Brittany and a rather angry looking Lauren. "What were you guys thinking?" Quinn asked.

Tina, Mercedes, Mike, and Sam all looked at each other awkwardly, not sure how to broach the subject with Lauren there. Tina quietly offered, "Well, Sam was thinking that Kurt would come back and then we could, um, do a nice, romantic song. Just because Kurt deserves something—"

"And then maybe they can at least be couple-y for a moment that makes sense?" Lauren offered. She rolled her eyes. "I'm not an idiot, you know. Well, maybe I am for thinking I could be Prom Queen to his King with how much Noah wants to tap Kurt. You don't have to censor yourselves on this."

Mercedes nodded. "Okay. Well, we obviously can't use anything with Finn or Jesse." Rachel and Quinn made awkward eye contact and Mercedes continued, "Any ideas?"

Artie snapped his fingers. "The song Kurt requested as the finale, the one from  _Dirty Dancing_. We'll just shift 'Dancing Queen' to the last song and then use the other prom queen song as a filler in between those two."

"They did say they had a dance to it," Mike reasoned.

Tina agreed. "Yeah. And maybe having all of us up here singing and supporting them would help."

Mercedes looked at Quinn, knowing her history with Noah was a tangled one, not to mention the whole Prom Queen thing seemed to make her a bit crazy. "Are you comfortable with this?"

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Please, I've been waiting for some opportunity to make something happen for over a year now. I would've preferred if it was not this situation, but I guess it works." Santana nodded as well, knowing her and Mercedes would add the riffs like they did at Sectionals.

"And I'm cool, too. I owe them both one anyways," Sam said.

The rest of the gleeks nodded. They couldn't do much else as the chattering then stopped completely. Kurt and Noah came back from the hallway, Kurt definitely looking cried out but determined. The choir kids backed up to give them room as they got back on the stage.

Kurt slowly looked over the crowd as everyone stared at him, waiting for him to yell at them or lecture them or cuss them out. In a way it was almost nice to have so much rapt attention on himself, the whole of McKinley eating out of the palm of his hand. His face remained neutral as he picked up the crown and placed it on his head. He looked over the crowd one last time before smiling and saying, "Eat your heart out Kate Middleton."

There was a small pause before people started clapping. Noah patted Kurt on the back and picked up his crown, easily putting it back on his Mohawked head.

"…Well, now the King and Queen will have a dance," Figgins said, obviously not sure if that was really going to happen. But Noah offered Kurt his arm as the glee kids got in position. Kurt smiled and took it, walking down the stairs onto the gym floor. JBI got his camera out, ready to film whatever those two love birds ended up doing.

There was a long chord before Sam sang,  _"Now I've had the time of my life. No I've never felt like this before…"_  Kurt and Noah smiled at each other, Kurt laughing a little bit, even with the tears still left in his eyes. Noah raised an eyebrow as if to ask if they were doing their choreography. Kurt nodded back.

Without missing a beat, they got into dancing position and Kurt was dipped, just like in the movie. As Quinn took over singing the introduction, Kurt got in front of Noah and let his hand drape over him, trying his best to imitate Jennifer Grey as Noah did his best Patrick Swayze, their faces not even an inch apart.

The beat started and right on cue Noah spun Kurt out, his kilt twirling almost as dramatically as Baby's dress. He twirled back in and they started the simple step that the couple worked on for so much of the movie. They spun and did their best to move like the dancers in the movie they had practiced with for years. Maybe Noah wasn't quite up to Patrick Swayze's level and maybe Kurt wasn't really the perfect Jennifer Grey pre-nose job, but it was clear they had a lot of chemistry and that was the most important part of the dance. The chemistry was very clear when they locked eyes as Sam and Quinn sang,  _"Now with passion in our eyes, there's no way we could disguise it secretly. So we take each other's hand 'cause we seem to understand the urgency."_

Kurt mouthed a few of the words like he did when they had practiced, his eyes staying locked with Noah's like they always did when they danced. Noah pulled him back in and they stayed there a few moments, just intimately close, and Kurt's lips mouthed out  _"This could be love."_  Noah's heart raced, a puzzling sensation for the moment, and he did his best to throw himself into the dance, the dance everyone around them seemed to enjoy. Noah picked Kurt up for a spin at the end of the first chorus just like the movie and there was actual _applause_  in the audience. Both of them smiled at that and then they stepped back into formation. Kurt was twirled back away and Noah gave his hand a kiss.

People were getting into their dance as the second verse started. In fact, they all seemed enamored with how the two of them were pulling it off. While they danced around them, they kept a large space for the two of them. In a way, it was just what Kurt wanted from his dance; it was his chance to be in the spotlight and dance with a guy he truly loved.

Noah ripped off his white tux coat and threw it on the stage, really getting into it, which just made Kurt laugh as Noah pretended like he was leading a crowd like Swayze did. While Baby just watched at that point in the movie, Kurt did the same steps as Noah, circling around him as he lip-synced the words Quinn and Sam sang. " _With my body and soul I want you more than you'll ever know_ ," Kurt mouthed.

" _So we'll just let it go, don't be afraid to lose control_ ," Noah mouthed back, adding way more pelvic thrusts than need be as they continued to circle each other.

Kurt went back to mouth Quinn's words. " _Yes I know what's on your mind when you say, 'Stay with me tonight.'"_ He winked and Noah laughed before mouthing,  _"Just remember...you're the one thing..._ _"_

_"I can't get enough of_ _,"_  Kurt mouthed back. With that he went back to the steps to the stage and Noah got to the far end of the space left for their dance.

They were focused on the next part too much to mouth the rest of the chorus. With a simple nod, Kurt took off running, right as Quinn and Sam sang  _This could be love_. And, just like they had practiced over and over again, Noah caught him on his jump and lifted him up, right as the chorus started up again. The crowd, and even some of New Directions, cheered loudly for them and clapped, amazed at the move. Kurt did his best to hold himself like Baby, and Noah did his best to be as steady as Johnny, but he had to lower Kurt down earlier in the song than the couple in the movie did. But as they held onto each other, it didn't really matter to either of them.

In fact, they didn't care that much about anything else anymore. It was like they were alone on the floor, just the two of them, as they just smiled and did the same dance steps from earlier for a bit longer. As the choir hit the final iteration of the chorus, they pulled each other in close and didn't worry about any other choreographed moves.

"That was amazing," Kurt whispered. Their faces moved in closer, their noses rubbed against each other, their foreheads touched. Their hands clasped each other's and Noah…Noah wasn't sure anything had felt more right. He just continued to move in closer, loving the warmth Kurt exuded and wanting to take it all in. Kurt didn't even seem too opposed to it.

" _You're_  amazing," Noah corrected softly, one of his arms wrapping Kurt in as close as possible. He didn't even seem aware of the song coming to a close or the applause from the audience for the performance. All he could do was stare into Kurt's eyes, completely hypnotized.

But then Figgins tapped on Kurt's shoulder and the two jerked apart. He gave Kurt his scepter and they were taken to the photo booth for yearbook pictures. Kurt also took some extra fun, personal ones with Noah, including one with Kurt on Noah's back and one kissing his cheek. As he laughed, the final song of the night playing through the air, he thought that maybe being Prom Queen wasn't the worst thing that could've happened, not when Noah was his King.

"And you said my dance moves weren't captivating," Noah said with a scoff. Kurt just rolled his eyes and took his King back onto the dance floor.

—

The assembling of New Directions at Rachel's place had a bit of a different tone than her last party, to say the least. For one, even though everyone changed into more comfortable clothing, the girls were still decked to the nines and in terms of make up, hair, and jewelry, which added a level of sophistication that wasn't there before. Second, both Finn and Jesse ended up coming, and the tension between those two—not to mention the tension between Quinn and Finn as well as Quinn and Rachel—was palpable.

Though everyone had ended up enjoying themselves at prom (and Puck made back all the money he had spent on drinks and then some with Kurt's plan to jack up prices), they were still tense as Kurt kept his crown on. He insisted he was fine, but as he eyed the alcohol warily, Noah wasn't sure. "You don't have to drink, you know," Noah said quietly.

"You  _shouldn't_  drink, actually," Rachel said. "Do I need to remind you that Mr. Schue had us sign an agreement not to drink until after Nationals?"

"Do I have to remind  _you_  that I wasn't  _at_ McKinley when those contracts were made so I signed no such thing?" Kurt snapped back. "And I wasn't there because I was bullied out of there and now that I'm back and they bullied me again, I think I can lay back and have a drink." Kurt looked over the bottles again and said, "Besides, we all know I'm not getting a solo at Nationals so it's not like I'm hurting anyone."

Rachel's mouth fell open in shock, completely stunned silent. Before Jesse or Finn could say anything, Quinn added. "You know…he's right," she stood up and went to the table to look over the selections. "I probably won't have another solo until  _maybe_  next year. And it's not like we have practice tomorrow or anything. And after tonight, I'd like to do something fun."

"And now we know our limits now, so we won't get as wasted," Tina added. Mike glanced at Rachel then followed his girlfriend to the table. Mercedes went up, as did Brittany and Santana, Artie still following. Jesse rolled his eyes and Rachel staid firm, which just pushed Finn over to the table. Lauren and Sam shrugged and went over as well.

"Okay, okay," Kurt said. "I'm glad to have the support, but as Queen, I'm declaring it law that I have to have the first shot," Kurt teased. Tina and Mercedes cheered for a moment and then Kurt turned to Noah, a very innocent look on his face. "…What do you do shots of?"

Kurt looked so lost with all that options that Noah's heart clenched a bit. "Here, buddy. We'll start you off with teaching you how to do tequila." Finn and Mike winced at that and Noah said, "Hey, once you do a shot of this stuff, everything else will be a piece of cake." Kurt nodded.

Surprisingly, Rachel offered, "My dads have limes over at the bar. And salt."

"Can you get me some?" Noah asked, pouring a shot for Kurt and one he was going to give himself. Kurt watched the gold liquid curiously; it didn't look that bad. What was all the fuss about?

Rachel came over with the saltshaker and a container of lime slices. Noah shoved a slice into Kurt's hand. "Lick your hand."

Kurt raised his eyebrows. "Like…over the lime?" Noah shook his head and licked a stripe on his own hand near his thumb. Kurt followed suit on his hand and Noah sprinkled some salt to his skin.

"Okay, so it's the three S's with this, okay?" Kurt nodded as Noah explained. "Salt, shot, suck. So you're going to lick up the salt, then take the shot, then suck the lime to help with the after burn. Got it?"

"Salt, shot, suck. Got it." Kurt nodded.

"Okay, let's see it." Kurt looked over at him then down at his drink. Noah started to quietly chant  _shot, shot, sho_ t only for the rest of the glee kids to join in. Kurt licked up the salt, took the shot glass into his hand, and downed it as they erupted into cheers around him.

Kurt's eyes widened as the taste of the tequila burned into his mouth and down his throat. He desperately brought the lime to his mouth and sucked, hoping to a god he didn't believe in that it would help the taste at all. When he pulled away from the lime, Kurt asked, his hands flailing, "What the hell was that?"

Everyone laughed and Noah lightly patted him on the back. "That, my friend, was the start of a great night."

—

Noah wasn't having as much fun as Rachel's last party. For one, he wasn't drinking so that made it a lot less fun. Kurt said he wanted to get drunk and Noah was going to make sure he was perfectly safe throughout and got all the water he needed before he went to bed. Noah owed him that much; after all, he had done the same thing for him multiple times. And while Noah didn't need to drink to have fun, it wasn't fun watching most of his friends drink while he stuck to Coke and water.

That part wasn't as bad, though, as Lauren pulling him away with a declaration of  _we need to talk_. Much like Puck had predicted, Lauren said she wasn't interested in him as anything past friends. "Look, I'm sorry, Lauren. But I can't help it that they decided to play some sick prank on us—"

"Go talk about it with your boyfriend, okay?" Lauren said, the angry drunk in her starting to emerge. "I'm not interested in you, plain and simple. Got it?" Noah raised his hands in surrender and she went back to where Quinn was sitting, soon falling into what looked like a very involved conversation.

Noah sighed and shook his head. He knew that this was coming. In fact, he felt this coming for weeks now. They never really connected like he wanted. But that didn't make it feel any better.

What did help was seeing just how happy Kurt was.

While most everyone drinking had stuck to lightly mixed beverages and beers, Kurt had Noah make him, essentially, a Long Island Iced Tea. Kurt had already made his way through that and was giggling as Noah came back into the room.

"No-No," Kurt slurred, grabbing onto his best friend's arm. "Rachel said she's gonna set up her karaoke again, like last time. Can we do something after her? Please?"

Noah smiled and pat Kurt on the head. Kurt beamed up at him and Noah said, "Sure, babe. Whatever you want."

Kurt wrapped his arms around Noah and smiled. "You're the best, No-No," Kurt said. Noah just laughed and told him thanks before Kurt went on his way back to the couch Mercedes and Tina were laughing on.

"Having fun?" Puck turned around to find Artie looking at him.

"It's alright," Puck said with a shrug. "Kurt's at least having a fun time. It's not as much of a blast as the last party, but I think he's enjoying himself much more."

"Yeah, I think so, too," Artie said, looking over at Kurt who was now laughing with Tina and Mercedes. He was definitely already drunker than those two if the pink in his cheeks was any indication.

There was a small click when the karaoke system was set up and Rachel cheered before starting a duet with Jesse. Artie rolled his eyes and looked back at Puck. "So, I overheard Lauren talking with Quinn," Artie explained, "I just wanted to say sorry."

Noah looked over at Lauren and sighed before looking back at Artie. "It's okay, dude. Not your fault. Besides, I knew it wasn't really going to last long, even if she did win." Puck took a long sip from his can, really wishing he could have the beer Artie was drinking instead of his Coke. Everyone started to pay attention to the singing, Kurt especially, and Artie turned his chair towards the stage as Puck turned to look at it as well. "I saw you and Brittany taking a picture together. Do you think she's coming around?" Puck asked as he sat down next to Artie.

Artie shook his head. "Oh, definitely not. It was just a friends type thing…I really care about her, but I think we're better as friends." He looked over his shoulders before confiding in Puck. "She cheated on me, you know. With Santana."

"Oh," Puck said. "I guess I can't be that surprised. I mean, Santana always invited me to watch the two of them."

"Yeah," Artie said, majorly bummed. "Santana told her that it wasn't cheating because 'the plumbing's different.'" Artie's fingers formed quotation marks in the air around the quote and he snorted. "So I called her stupid and, well, that was that. I wonder if they're still doing that with Karofsky as well. I mean, she did it with Sam so I wouldn't be surprised."

Puck nodded and made a sound to show he heard, but he was too focused on Santana to respond. He watched how she interacted with Brittany and the wheels in his mind started turning. Santana always had more fun with Brittany than with him or any of the other guys she tried to date. And Santana was dating  _Karofsky_  now who was totally gay. Santana had to know that by now, right? There was no way he was putting out. But Santana liked sex, so why was she in a relationship without it?

Puck's eyes widened. Holy shit, Santana was totally in love with Brittany. Like,  _lesbian_  in love. "Holy shit," Puck whispered to himself.

"Hmm?" Artie hummed.

Before Puck could come up with an excuse, Kurt got up on stage and said, "Noah! It's our turrrrn!"

"Gotta go," Puck said, getting up and heading up to the stage. "So, what are we doing?" Noah asked but it was too late to give his input, it seemed. Kurt pressed a button and a synthetic beat started to play.

"…Oh god, no," Puck whispered as Kurt started moving his hips to the beat.

"5, 6, 7, 8," Kurt counted off. " _Maybe I need some rehab_ —"

"Kurt—" Puck whispered.

" _Or maybe just need some sleep—"_

"Why Ke$ha?" Puck asked.

" _I got a sick obsession—"_

" _Kurt_!"

" _I'm seeing it in my dreams."_

Puck rolled his eyes.

" _I'm looking down every alley."_

He wasn't getting out of this. His part was fast approaching.

" _I'm making some desperate calls."_

Puck turned around to face away from the crowd.

" _I'm staying up all night hoping, hitting my head against the walls,"_  Kurt sang with a flourish, whipping his head to the side.

With that, Noah turned around quickly and started his part of the song as per his car duets with Kurt.  _"What you got boy is hard to find. I think about it all the time_ ," he sang. The glee clubbers started to throw in some cheers as they watched Puck sing and Kurt dance next to him.  _"I'm all strung out my heart is fried_ ," Noah sang, putting his hand to his chest. Then he turned to Kurt and pointed at him as he sang,  _"I just can't get you off my mind."_

Together they sang the chorus, facing each other.  _"Because your love, your love, your love is my drug. Your love, your love, your love. I said your love, your love, your love is my drug. Your love, your love your love."_

Noah took over the rap part of the second verse.  _"Won't listen to any advice, momma's telling me I should think twice, but left to my own devices I'm addicted—_ " Kurt provided back up when Noah sang,  _"It's a crisis! My friends think I've gone crazy. My judgment's gettin' kinda hazy. My sleaze is gonna be affected if I keep it up like a lovesick crackhead._ "

Kurt took over for the second pre-chorus, letting Noah back him up on harmonies as he sang to the crowd.  _"What you got boy is hard to find. I think about it all the time. I'm all strung out_ ," Kurt started to pop his chest inwards as he sang,  _"My heart is fried."_  Turning back to Noah, he pointed at him as he sang,  _"I just can't get you off my mind."_

The two of them sang through the second chorus, Kurt providing some upper harmony to the repetitions of the word  _love_. Then it moved on and Kurt sang out,  _"I don't care what people say the rush is worth the price I pay_."

Noah pulled Kurt in towards him as he took over,  _"I get so high when you're with me_." Kurt backed away with a smile and Noah sang,  _"But crash and crave you when you leave."_

As Noah took over the riffs, Kurt spoke the next part, his usual crisp diction now slurred enough to match Ke$ha's speech pattern.  _"So I've got a question—do you wanna have a slumber party in my basement? Do I make your heart beat like an 808 drum?"_  Kurt put a hand over his and popped and locked it a few times. _"Is my love your drug?"_  Kurt said all of that to Noah, walking back over to him as he continued the bridge.  _"Your drug? Huh, your drug…huh, your drug?_ " Kurt poked right on Noah's chest as he asked,  _"Is my love your drug?"_

The music paused for a brief moment, just like it always did on the track, and Noah felt his heart flutter as Kurt looked at him with a smirk. But as quick as the moment was, it went away just as fast as the chorus started up again. Kurt started to dance and pull away and Noah just shook himself out of his head and sang through the rest of the song with Kurt.

"I like your beard," Kurt said to Noah once the singing portion of the song ended, not when Ke$ha said it on the track. Noah laughed and the audience clapped like they were supposed to before Mercedes got up to start her own karaoke number.

Kurt wrapped his arms around Noah and Noah in turn helped him down from the steps and found him a chair to sit on. "I'm going to get you some water, okay?" Noah told him quietly as he stroked his hair.

Mercedes started to sing and Kurt shook his head. "Nooooo, I want more to drink. I'm not drunk yet," Kurt said, his lips forming a delicate pout. Noah sighed; Kurt's speech was a little slurred, but he wasn't completely wasted, Noah could tell that much. He hesitated and Kurt asked, "Just one more? Please?"

"…Alright," Noah finally conceded. Kurt smiled brightly and sat up straight. "Something with just one shot and that's it, okay?" Kurt nodded obediently and when Noah walked over to the table, Kurt eagerly followed to watch what he was doing.

"Can I try that tequila stuff again?" Kurt asked.

Noah laughed. "Hey, if you actually like it, more power to ya. Most people can't handle it."

"I'm strong and tough," Kurt said with a sniff before nuzzling his head against Noah's shoulder. The action made the taller man smile as he looked over what he could mix the tequila in. He finally noticed a small can of Sprite and mixed it with a shot of tequila in a red solo cup.

"Okay, baby, let's get you back sitting before you hold onto this again, okay? Spilling is a major party foul," Noah explained. Kurt pulled away from Noah, but Noah put his hand on Kurt's shoulder to guide him, just in case. Kurt allowed it and they soon found a spot on the ground for Kurt to sit. Noah grabbed a large pillow once Kurt had sat down and carefully lowered himself to the ground as well. Kurt immediately leaned into him and Noah opened his arms, wrapping his closest arm around him. Kurt's head rested on his shoulder as he took the cup from Noah, slowly drinking it.

When Mercedes finished her song, Noah barely even noticed; he was just enjoying petting Kurt's hair as the other boy leaned on him. Just like that, the party started to look up.

After several more songs, Kurt finally finished his drink and Noah got up to get him a glass of water. When he came back, Kurt was closer to the center of the room, playing with a bottle he found on the ground.

Noah looked questioningly at Mike, whom the bottle seemed to belong to. Mike shrugged and looked back at Kurt, who seemed to be enjoying spinning it around and around. Noah shook his head and sat back down next to Kurt, forcing the water bottle into his eye line.

"Time to drink up. You don't want a hangover tomorrow…well, later today," Noah said. Kurt stared at it for a moment before finally taking it from Noah's hands and taking a big gulp. Noah ran a hand down Kurt's back and Kurt put the cup down to go back to spinning the bottle.

"Are you trying to hint that you want spin the bottle?" Puck asked.

Since there was a lull between karaoke singers, everyone heard that. Quinn announced, "I'm down with that." Everyone looked at her at her slurred words and she shrugged. "Why not? It could be fun."

Lauren nodded next to her. "Definitely. Count me in."

"Are we really just repeating the events of my last party?" Rachel asked with a huff.

"Seriously, this stuff is really… _juvenile_ ," Jesse added.

"That's what you get for trying to date a high schooler," Finn said through a tight jaw. The two looked at each other intensely, getting ready for another fight, when Kurt opened his mouth.

"Let's do it!" Kurt announced. Everyone looked at him and he sighed. "Come on! I am 17 and I've only kissed two people in my life. That's lame." Even in his drunken state, he knew not to out Karofsky, Noah thought. Either that or he wasn't counting Brittany, either way, Noah was pretty impressed. "And I jus' think it'd be fun to play a bit. And I'm Queen c'mon I have royal decree powers and…stuff." He looked over at where he last had the crown and spotted Artie wearing it. "Artie! Bring that over here!"

Artie wheeled over, though not in a straight line, and Kurt snatched his crown. "So circle up or just watch, I don't care. Let's go." He put the crown on his head with such determination that everyone shrugged and joined in. After all, it was fun last time and what else would they do? Rachel was sure to get noise complaints if they kept on singing.

Puck made Kurt finish his water before they started, than got up to refill the glass as Kurt spun. He got back in time to see him giving Tina a kiss. It was definitely more than a peck, but not a full-blown make out, and they both pulled away with laughter once it was done. Noah smirked and sat down next to Artie's chair, since he was now sitting next to Kurt and Mercedes was on Kurt's other side. Noah handed Kurt the water and Kurt thanked him, drinking it up as Tina took the bottle.

Tina spun and it landed on Puck. With a grin, Puck teased, "Watch out before I steal your girlfriend, Chang." Mike rolled his eyes but laughed at him and Puck leaned into the circle to quickly connect their lips. They went a little longer than Tina did with Kurt, but not by that much.

Then Puck spun and landed on Brittany. With his earlier realization about Santana fresh in his mind, he looked over at Santana for a brief moment. She did  _not_  look happy. And not that he was  _scared_  or anything, but he ended up kissing Brittany rather quickly.

They went on like that for a while. Brittany kissed Mike, Mike briefly kissed Sam (which Tina seemed to enjoy), Sam kissed Mercedes, Mercedes kissed Santana, and Santana kissed Rachel. There were a few more rounds, including a surprisingly steamy kiss between Jesse and Quinn (that Rachel and Finn were  _both_  not too happy about) and a pretty funny one between Artie and Lauren that Artie really seemed to enjoy.

Finally, Quinn (after a brief kiss from Mike), landed on Kurt. Noah definitely watched intensely as the two crawled closer in the circle. Quinn was fairly tipsy and Kurt was definitely drunk, but when their lips came together, there was still quite a lot of finesse and it lasted much longer and had more passion than Kurt's previous kiss. Kurt felt like all the frustration he had with Quinn came out in that kiss and when he pulled away, it was like he was finally at peace with everything that happened with her and his best friend.

But he was also really drunk.

"Okay, I want a guy this time," Kurt said, his voice still the tiniest bit slurred. Grabbing the bottle, he took a deep breath like an archer about to shoot his arrow. He spun it fast, the bottle moving a bit from its previous spot, and Kurt's eyes remained glued to it as it spun around and around…

And then it landed on Finn.

Kurt and Finn both immediately wrinkled their noses. "I can't kiss  _Finnnnn_! He's my brother," Kurt said with a pout.

"You can spin again," Noah offered.

"Or you can kiss Puck."

Everyone looked at Quinn after she said that and she shrugged. "I'm just saying. Who do you trust more here? If you want to kiss another guy, he's probably the best bet." After a moment she muttered, "He stares at your ass enough, anyways." Mercedes hushed her immediately.

Thankfully, neither Noah or Kurt heard that as they looked at each other. Kurt laughed and Noah smiled. "I mean, we  _should_ ," Kurt pointed out. "We  _are_  prom royalty. The King and Queen should kiss."

"Is that a royal decree?" Noah asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

"…Yeah. Yeah, it is," Kurt said with a virtuous head nod.

The basement was quiet enough they could hear a pin drop. Noah watched Kurt's face seriously, waiting for him to laugh or take back what he said. When it was clear that wasn't happening, Noah said, "Kurt…"

"No, come on, let's do it. You're holding up the game," Kurt said as he crawled a bit forward in the circle. "Jus' kiss me and we can move on."

Noah let out a snort and shook his head. "Fine. Let's do it."

Everyone, even Jesse, seemed to lean forward in their seats and Noah and Kurt got on their knees facing each other, right in front of Artie's chair. Tina even whipped out her cell phone just in case. Kurt smiled at Noah and Noah smiled back as they leaned in, closer and closer. Their lips were about to touch…

Then Kurt started to laugh and put his head on Noah's shoulder. Noah rolled his eyes. "Babe, you're holding up the game," he teased. Kurt nodded and pulled his head back up, leaning up to press his lips against Noah's, only for both of them to start giggling.

They laughed for a few more moments. But Artie just rolled his eyes. God, he had been watching them for over a  _year_  dance around this subject. Now they were both prom royalty, they had performed a version of the climactic dance in  _Dirty Dancing_ , and they still weren't kissing?

He had enough. He was done with  _not_  interfering and he was done with those two not seeing what was right in front of them. So, maybe it helped that he was drunk, maybe it was dumb, but he did it.

As their laughter started to die down, Artie pushed Puck and Kurt's heads together until their lips pressed together.

Their lips were frozen for a moment, their eyes wide. But slowly both sets of eyes closed and their lips moved slowly together. Noah never experienced anything like it and was so entranced he didn't hear the whispers or the cheers or the snapping of Tina's phone camera. He finally understood the expression about fireworks, because that's all he could see. Their lips moved naturally together, their bodies coming closer together, enough so that Kurt could wrap his arms around Noah's neck and Noah could get his arms around his waist.

Noah deepened the kiss by pressing his tongue against Kurt's lips. Kurt's lips open in a gasp and Noah pressed inside. There was an overwhelming taste of alcohol, but also a sweet taste he couldn't describe. As he breathed through his nose as much as possible, he smelled Kurt's shampoo. His hand reacted to that smell by moving from his waist to his head, tangling his hand in his tresses while pressing him in even closer.

Kurt moaned into his mouth. If he thought Blaine's kisses were great, they were nothing compared to what Noah could do. His lips felt electric, the hair on the back of his neck stood up, his whole body was lit up with passion that he had never felt before, passion that only existed in those books Noah bought him.

They finally pulled apart for air after what felt like hours but what was really only a minute or two. Noah looked at his best friend with wide eyes and Kurt looked back, his crown askew, with dark, lustful eyes. Everything was still and silent, the glee clubbers watching intensely at what would happen next.

Without warning, Kurt leapt for Noah and kissed him again, directing him towards the ground with fierce kisses. Finally the rest of New Directions moved, Finn managing to pull Kurt away because  _really_  he was  _not_  going to watch his brother dry hump anyone  _ever_. Mercedes and Tina then took Kurt to the restroom, saying it was time to wash his face and head to bed.

As Kurt was maneuvered away, Noah finally noticed people watching him. He wanted to make some joke about how he was just a good kisser, but his throat felt dry. When he finally found the ability to speak, he asked Rachel, "Is it okay if we stay here tonight? I don't think Kurt should meet his dad right now in his state."

Rachel nodded, her eyes wide as she looked at him. "Yeah, I think you're right," she said.

When Kurt came back, Rachel was there with some pillows and blankets. Kurt situated himself with his head and pillow on Noah's lap and Noah shrugged as everyone started to either head out or find a corner to sleep in.

"I'll move him when he's asleep. He's a deep sleeper," Puck said at Rachel's questioning look. She nodded and Puck let his hand pet Kurt's soft hair as the room slowly made its way to bed.

Noah fell asleep right as he was, with his hand still in Kurt's hair.

—

When Noah woke up the next day, it was to a pain in his neck and the light from the stairwell shining in his eyes. He winced, rubbing the back of his neck as he straightened his back. Apparently the position he slept in really didn't help him sleep for long, because his phone said it was 6:41 AM.

Noah groaned softly and then looked down at Kurt in his lap. The boy was still passed out. Noah contemplated letting him sleep, but the idea of having to talk to anyone else about last night (and Kurt would most  _definitely_  want to talk about it) sounded about as painful as his neck felt right then.

Using the hand that was in Kurt's hair earlier, Noah lightly shook Kurt's shoulders. "Hey, sleepy head," Noah said softly. Kurt groaned and snuggled his head further into the pillow on Noah's lap. "Kurt, come on, wake up." Noah shook him a few more times before Kurt's eyes finally opened, sleepy and confused.

"What time is it?"

"6:45."

Kurt groaned and moved his head back on the pillow. Puck rolled his eyes. "Come on, babe. I need to get you fed and back home so you can sleep on your comfy bed, okay?"

Well, Kurt  _did_  like the sound of his own bed. He laid there for a few more moments before finally lifting his head and slowly rising to his feet, his blanket still around his frame. "Bathroom," he muttered as an explanation, making his way around the people who stayed the night over to the bathroom in the hallway.

Once Noah heard the door close, he stood up as best as he could, a few joints cracking on the way. He yawned and stretched his arms out then grabbed his phone, wallet, and keys. He was collecting the rest of the vodka when Kurt finally came out of the restroom, his hair looking like he had attempted a style and his face looking washed. Puck then went into the restroom, also splashing some cold water onto his face as his mind raced.

Once Kurt grabbed his scepter and crown and Puck had all the alcohol in a bag, the two snuck upstairs and out the door. Noah stored the alcohol back in his truck and Kurt, once he was sure his prom outfit was still in the car, curled up on the seat and rest his head on the window.

"How're you feeling?" Puck asked as he pulled out of Rachel's driveway.

"Mmm," Kurt said in a noncommittal tone. "My head doesn't hurt, not like last time with April and everything. But I don't necessarily feel my greatest."

"We'll get some food in you and then you can shower and sleep some more. That'll help," Noah said. "Cheap, greasy food always helps me. How does IHOP sound?" Kurt sat up a little straighter at that and Puck laughed.

Breakfast was a rather quiet affair. There weren't too many people there, just a few loners, so they got to order quickly and their food came out extremely quickly later. Kurt indulged himself with biscuits and gravy with hash browns, coffee, and, at Noah's insisting, plenty of water. Noah stuck to some waffles and eggs. Both boys ate quickly and the check was paid for soon after.

Kurt managed to convince the waitress to give him some coffee to go, which seemed to really be helping him feel better, and the two rode in relative silence to Kurt's house. The only sounds were the slight hum of the wind outside the car and Kurt's occasional sips.

They finally parked in front of Kurt's house and sat there for several moments. Kurt was the first to speak, offering, "Are you going to go back and pick up Artie?"

"I texted him that I can get him if he needs it. So we'll see when he gets up," Noah responded. Kurt nodded in response and looked back at his lap. Noah looked at him and then back out his window, not sure what to say. Did Kurt even remember? If he didn't, why was he acting so awkward? He had to remember that they kissed. Did he remember it as well as Noah did? Did he see the fireworks, too?

"Look, Noah," Kurt finally said, turning towards him. "I'm so sorry about last night. I was drunk and you're such a good kisser and—"

"Kurt," Noah said calmly, looking back at him. "Why are you apologizing? It's fine."

"Noah, we just spent the last twenty minutes barely even talking. This is what happens when you kiss friends; it gets awkward and weird and—"

"We're fine, Kurt." Noah sighed. "I promise."

Kurt looked up at him, his eyes large and desperate. Finally, he nodded and smiled slowly. "Okay. We're fine."

Noah smiled and repeated back, "We're fine." He let a hand fall on Kurt's shoulder and crawl up his neck. His hand cupped his cheek and he smiled at him, his heart thumping at Kurt's smile back. His thumb stroked Kurt's cheek, everything feeling so calm and right.

"And, I mean, we both drank, so it's not like it meant anything." Kurt said.

Noah's smile faltered a bit. But he picked it back up and he nodded. "Right. It was just a stupid kiss." Kurt beamed and Noah lightly patted his cheek. "Now go in there and shower and sleep. Let me know how you feel later, okay?"

With a nod, Kurt grabbed his prom outfit and got his keys out. "I will." He got out of the car and gave Noah a  _goodbye_  and  _love you!_  Then he headed into his house and, with one last parting wave, closed the door behind him.

Noah drove away from Kurt's house and stopped a few houses down, out of sight from the Hummel-Hudson residence. He parked and hit his head on the steering wheel, lightly knocking it over and over. How could he be so dumb?

He, Noah Puckerman, was completely in love with his best friend.

_...Shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this thing turned into a complete monster and part of this wasn't even planned but I like how it turned out. I've been planning the kiss in my head for literal years so I hope it looked awesome for you guys! Let me know what you thought!


	29. Playing With Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of prom and the after party hangs heavily in the air for Kurt and Puck, now that Puck has realized his true feelings for Kurt.

**Playing with Fire**

By the time school got out on Monday, Kurt and Puck's prom photos were developed and available for pick-up along with a CD of the files. Kurt grabbed the package, taking them out and flipping through them all with a smile as he walked to Glee club rehearsal.

"What are you smiling at?" Tina asked suspiciously as Kurt made his way to the back of the choir room.

Kurt looked up, almost startled to see other people, as he was lost in his own world. "Oh, nothing," he said after a moment, "Just the pictures Noah and I took at the photo booth at prom. They're really cute." Once he sat down, he passed the pile to Tina who looked at them with Rachel while Mercedes looked over at Kurt.

"How are you doing, Kurt?" She asked with concern. "You disappeared from the party before I even woke up and didn't text me. How did your dad take the whole… _thing_?"

Kurt was vaguely aware that Tina and Rachel had stopped talking over the photos and were looking his way. In fact, a few other people seemed to be paying attention now, and Kurt just raised an eyebrow at Mercedes. "You mean my dad who didn't even want me back at this school? The one who threatened to burn down the place if I didn't get a chance to audition for a solo? Yeah…he did not take the whole _thing_ well." Kurt took back his photos and shrugged. "I managed to calm him down, though, with some help from Carole, and I think I'm going to put my scepter and crown on the trophy case he made me when my mom first got pregnant…it's a bit, well, empty."

He shrugged again, not wanting to relive the moment he had told his dad how prom went. Kurt was genuinely afraid that he'd work himself into another heart attack, but, even more so, he was worried his dad would make him leave McKinley. While, yes, he never would've been crowned Prom Queen at Dalton as a joke, he also wouldn't be around his friends. And after spending the whole school day with people looking at him with a mix of awe and pride, Kurt actually felt better than ever, as strange as it sounded.

"My dad _did_ calm down after I said that Noah was the King, so that's something," Kurt added, looking back down at his photos as a few of the Glee club members around him made eye contact at that. Kurt smiled at the picture on top, one of him kissing Noah's cheek. "And at least this adds some stuff to the never-ending scrapbook of our lives. We needed formal pictures for that soon, anyways; it has too many random field trip and costume pictures. We really don't even need the proof that we've dressed as Harry and Ron for almost every _Harry Potter_ movie premiere so far—which reminds me that I have some edits to make to Noah's costume before the last one comes out."

Kurt looked up from his pictures just in time to see Noah walk through the choir room door. "Speak of the devil," he said with a smile, sitting up a bit more in his seat as Mercedes moved over to whisper something in Tina's ear. Part of Kurt wanted to get up and greet Noah like he normally would, just prance over and give him a hug and show him the photos.

But another part of him was too aware of how everyone was waiting to see how they acted. While no one was staring, he could see even Santana looking up covertly from her conversation with Quinn to see them. After all, it was the first time the two of them had been in front of them since the kiss. Maybe he should've just acted normally, but their normal was, Kurt was all too aware, very… _couple-y_. He just didn't need for the entirety of New Directions to think he and Noah were anything more than friends just because they had shared one or two amazing kisses while Kurt was drunk off his ass.

Maybe he was over thinking it. Kurt knew he probably was because who ever thought that much about whether they would greet a friend with a hug or not? But Kurt just gestured for Noah to sit next to him and smiled until his friend was by him.

"I got our prom photos!" Kurt said excitedly once Noah had taken off his backpack and slung it under his seat. "They're really great. And JBI has a video of the dance, so we might be able to get some pictures from that, too!" Kurt continued to smile as he gave Noah the photos, though he was well aware himself that he was being careful not to touch Noah's hand and that his cheerful tone was slightly forced.

Noah took the photos with a nod as Mike turned to them. "I wanted to say that you guys did a really good job with such an iconic dance number," he said. Kurt beamed at the praise, even as Mike added, "I mean, obviously you guys aren't professionals, but you really have chemistry. That's what you really need for that, you know?"

"Definitely," Kurt said. "And that lift especially. That whole thing is more about trust than it is dancing ability. Well, at least for me. I'm sure Noah would argue that it took a lot of bench presses for his part."

Noah had been staring at a candid photo of the two of them laughing together when Kurt said that. When he remained silent for a few more moments, Kurt finally said, "Or maybe he won't."

Noah's head finally snapped up and, after looking at Mike's raised eyebrows and Kurt's slightly concerned expression, he just scoffed. "Kurt, you don't weigh, like, anything. Trust me, that lift was nothing for me." Kurt just laughed a bit and rolled his eyes before turning back to Mike to talk about the dance training they had and how they'd learned the dance.

As Kurt explained that it was really years' worth of effort, Puck continued to look through the photos. But with each passing picture, he was really wishing he wasn't. All of the pictures were perfect, like looking at a couple doing an engagement photo shoot kind of perfect, and it made his heart thump loudly in his chest. On top of that, each picture just made him feel dumber and dumber for not realizing how he truly felt about Kurt sooner. The way he looked at Kurt on film made it _so obvious_. Everyone had to know then, didn't they?

Noah looked up around the room. Mercedes, Tina, and Rachel were all whispering intently about something, and he never knew _Rachel_ to be the whispering type. Finn, Artie, and Sam were also in some sort of deep discussion, which was even weirder. He saw Santana, Quinn, and _Lauren_ of all people discussing something as well, and he swear he saw Quinn look right at him before going back to their discussion. And Mike seemed to have an amused smile on his face as Kurt talked about how the two of them had spent hours finding tutorials online and re-watching multiple scenes from _Dirty Dancing_ to get it perfect. The only person who didn't seem to have something very interesting to talk about was Brittany, who was twirling her hair around her finger and looking at Puck with some vague interest.

_I'm just being paranoid_ , Noah told himself. Nationals were coming up, after all, and people were definitely just discussing that. Mike was probably just amused that it took them that long to learn a dance since he seemed to learn even the most complex moves in that matter of seconds. And Brittany…well, Brittany just liked to stare. It probably didn't mean anything.

But when the lesson finally started, Puck still couldn't shake the feeling that everyone knew. It didn't help that he and Kurt both stayed glued to their seats, no hand holding or lap sitting or anything. And when Jesse St. James made a cruelly accurate joke about Finn's dancing skills and Puck finally relaxed into a laugh, Puck made himself stop before he collapsed onto Kurt's shoulder from barely contained giggles. The idea of touching Kurt like that…it just felt like too much. And he swore the smirk that St. Douche was wearing was directed at him for a second.

—

A few days after Jesse and Mr. Schue announced soloist auditions, Kurt was raring to go. He couldn't wait for them to see his amazing rendition of "Some People", a solo he thought deserved a showcase. He was happily thinking about that as he switched out books at his locker. With a smile, he looked up at the photo that had replaced Blaine's in his locker. The photo was one of the many prom photos, one with Kurt on Noah's back; both boys were cracking up and looked truly happy.

If anything, that picture served as a reminder that they were always going to be Kurt and Noah, which, honestly, he needed at the moment. While they weren't fighting by any means, there was something _awkward_ about the two of them that they both were doing their best to avoid talking about. Their movements seemed robotic and thought out instead of the natural touches they used to use, their smiles a bit too big to be real and their words stilted.

Kurt had been worried that the kiss would do that. But they were _Kurt and Noah_! They once spent six months not talking and then made up in less than an hour! Surely the awkwardness—that was mostly perpetuated by Noah, if Kurt was honest, and the fact that he felt like everyone was staring at the two of them for some reason—would fade back to normal soon enough. He was sure of it.

After one last look at the picture of the two of them, Kurt closed his locker, only to jump at the sight of JBI standing there.

"I got the pictures for you from the dance video," he explained in his usual nasally voice, holding up a disc.

Kurt grabbed the disc from Jacob Ben Israel and offered the kid a rare smile. "Hey, thanks. I'm excited to see how they turned out."

"Yeah, the whole recording's on there, too," Jacob added as he gestured for his cameraman to focus in on Kurt.

Kurt smiled at the disc before looking up at the camera. He frowned when he saw the red light flashing and asked, "Why are you filming this?"

"You know the whole school seems to love that video. It's the highest viewed video we have," Jacob said.

Kurt took that to be his explanation. "Well, we _are_ pretty good at the dance," he conceded. "I guess it makes sense that they like it." He adjusted his bag on his shoulder and asked, "Is there anything else you want, Jacob?" His last time on camera for JBI ended up with him being publicly slushied; he wasn't too keen on being filmed again.

"Can you tell us when you and Noah Puckerman finally got together?" Jacob suddenly asked, pushing his microphone into Kurt's face.

"What are you talking about?" Kurt asked, his eyebrows together.

"You know, when did Noah turn gay for you? We figured it would happen at some point but he was dating Lauren. Was he cheating on her with you?"

Kurt's mouth opened in shock. After a moment he finally collected himself and put on his haughty exterior. "Noah and I are friends. Best friends. And just because we were pranked by some low lives who have nothing better to do than make fun of me for being gay and Noah for being my friend doesn't mean we're together. Got it?" With that, Kurt stormed off, hoping that the video wouldn't even be posted. That was something he and Noah really didn't need at the moment.

—

"You ready?" Noah asked Kurt as his friend paced around the choir room. Jesse St. James and Schuester were holding auditions for a soloist opportunity at Nationals, and Kurt's audition was coming up right away.

Kurt nodded in his direction and Noah lifted his arms slightly before putting them back down. "You're going to do great, Kurt, don't worry about it." Normally he would've said that with a big hug and a tight squeeze, but as Kurt continued to hum a warm up in preparation, Noah just sat down on the piano bench and watched. He couldn't help but realize how adorable Kurt looked right then and how his outfit perfectly accented his body and how smooth his skin looked…Noah just kept watching, his stomach flipping as Kurt smiled at him before running through the words of his song under his breath.

It was funny, though, because of all the things Noah had to be thinking of lately, he didn't expect to be reminded about the second Harry Potter movie. But there he was, looking at Kurt preparing for his audition while his mind thought back to that November.

A few years before that movie, Kurt had more or less dragged Puck into the Harry Potter story. After months of Kurt talking about magic and dragons and, finally, some sport played on broomsticks, Puck gave in and joined Kurt for Kate Hummel's readings of the books. Kurt would listen with wide eyes, occasionally the tip of his thumb ending up in his mouth (something Kurt would vehemently deny ever happened), and Puck would keep shifting in his seat, unable to keep still as the plots unfolded. All three of them would discuss the books with much enthusiasm as they read, Kate never minding the fact that she was discussing children's books with eight year olds. In fact, she made costumes for all three of them for the first movie release, taking them to the movie theater as soon as school got out that day. Kurt was made into a little Harry, even messing his hair up and letting his mom use some lip liner to draw a scar on his forehead. Kate, at her own insistence, went in standard witch garb. Puck was, of course, meant to be Ron, since he was always going to be Kurt's best friend in any dress up situation they came up with, even if his curly hair remained brown and not red. After seeing the movie, Kate even made some costume adjustments as Kurt watched her sewing machine with rapt attention, Puck eagerly acting out his favorite parts.

Of course, months later, Kate received a diagnosis that made Kurt relate too much to Harry Potter. She fell sick with ovarian cancer and, despite all the treatments she received, Kate died just a few weeks before Kurt turned nine. His mother was now just a memory, and even then Kurt was sure that she would be a distant memory by the time he was in high school.

Noah's year wasn't much better. Kurt's mom was like a second mother to him, so seeing her go was already bad enough. But when both boys were finally starting to recover from Kate's death several months later, Noah had to watch his dad leave. Elijah had never been a good dad, but it still stung. It didn't help that both boys did their best to try to replace their lost parental figures. Kurt started to clean and started to learn to cook while Noah started to do small jobs around the neighborhood, doing all he could to bring some money to the family.

By the time _Chamber of Secrets_ was out in theaters, neither of them felt nearly as excited to see it as they had about its predecessor. In fact, they almost didn't go. They didn't see it until Thanksgiving weekend. Puck's Nana, Ruth, came in town to help both families with the holiday, their first of many Thanksgivings spent together as a combined family unit. That was already enough to perk up both boys; visits from Ruth were always the best, since she brought toys and candy and amazing stories that made both of them laugh until their stomachs ached.

Both boys helped Mae and Ruth in the kitchen as Burt taught the youngest Puckerman about football by showing her the game in the living room of the Hummel house. In between peeling potatoes and taste testing everything, both Kurt and Noah felt better than they had in months. So when the dinner ended and Ruth asked if there was any movie they wanted to see, Kurt and Noah turned to each other then turned back to Ruth to say, "Harry Potter!"

The movie got Kurt and Noah back into the excitement of their favorite book. The two eagerly recited dialogue and talked about the special effects in the back of Ruth's car, Mae and Burt having opted to stay home with a napping Sara, until they ran out of scenes to talk about. Finally, Kurt looked up at Ruth and asked, "What did you think?"

She smiled and said, "I think I'll have to give those books a read. The movie was pretty good and books are almost always better than the movie." Kurt and Puck eagerly nodded in agreement. After a moment, Ruth added, "So, those friends of his, Ron and Hermione…do they get together?"

Kurt instantly brightened more as Puck's eyebrows pressed together. "They haven't yet, but mom and I always thought they would!" Kurt said in a rushed, breathless voice he seemed to always have whenever anything romantic was brought up.

"What do you mean?" Puck asked. He never got why his friend got so excited about romance to begin with and he definitely never saw anything romantic in those books so far past Harry liking Cho. How could he even be bothered to think about it when there were dragons and evil wizards and epic magical duels?

"You're such a _Ron_ ," Kurt said with a bit of a smirk though his voice was affectionate. He turned back to Ruth and said, "Only four of the books have come out so far, but it seems very obvious! In the fourth book there's a ball and everything! And Ron gets _so_ jealous that Hermione goes with someone else! He tries to say it's because it's Harry's enemy but Harry's not mad at _all_! And in the third one, Ron's the only one who notices Hermione is taking overlapping classes! And they basically act like parents around Harry and fight like an old married couple—mom always said that!"

Puck did have to take a moment to smile at the fact that it was the first time since Mama Kate's death that Kurt didn't look ready to cry at the mention of his mom.

"What made you think that from this movie?" Kurt asked Ruth after a moment.

Ruth turned into their neighborhood and smiled wisely. "There's just some things you can tell when you get to my age. It was the handshake they had at the end of the movie." Before Noah could even ask what she meant, she explained, "Sometimes, when you care about someone like that, it's hard to touch them or even be around them. She could hug Harry because they're friends. But Ron…she couldn't just hug him. It's something you'll get when you're older, but when you fall in love, it can be awkward to be around them like that. And sometimes when you like someone so much, touching them can feel like a burn."

Back then, Kurt had sighed dreamily and Puck had wrinkled his nose at the idea. It didn't make sense to him, nothing about that whole conversation did. But now it all did. Now Puck, who had been Kurt's Ron for every single movie and book premiere, with a red wig eventually included, understood what his grandmother had said all too well.

Somehow, over the years, Kurt had become his Hermione; Kurt was the person who looked out for him, the person he couldn't stand to see anyone else with, the person who he always tried to make laugh. And when he forced himself to give Kurt a hug before his soloist audition (he definitely understood where Ron was coming from because he totally wanted to give him a handshake at that moment), Puck jumped away quickly.

Maybe Kurt didn't feel it, but to Puck, it felt like he had been burnt from his touch. And if he held him any longer, he didn't know if he'd survive the flames.

—

Kurt had felt amazing about his audition. He thought he rocked it pretty damn hard, in fact. But then Jesse had to point out that he had big shoes to fill. So? Rachel still had to beat Barbra in her songs and while she was talented, she was _no_ Barbra Streisand. And Jesse was great at the previous year's Regionals from what he heard, but he was still no Freddie Mercury. Who did he think he was?

But then Jesse had to add, "Plus, I believe I remember someone breaking a vow about not drinking this past weekend. I'm not sure I can take your dedication seriously if you're willing to drink mere weeks before your show choir competition."

Kurt's jaw tensed as Will's opened. "Kurt? Is this true?"

Kurt looked over at his teacher, his eyebrow raised, and then back at Jesse. "Yes. It's true. But I wasn't the only one and I did not throw up and I never signed any waiver or vow since I was at Dalton at the time."

"So you should get a pass because you switched schools?"

"Are you of all people criticizing me for transferring schools, Jesse?" Kurt asked coldly. He smirked at Jesse's silence and let himself off stage.

Only one thing was clear: Jesse St. James was totally Jesse St. Sucks.

—

Finn was never the most observant person, at least not when it came to feelings. Both Rachel and Quinn had yelled at him about stuff like that, because he would take people at their word a lot of the time. If Quinn said she was okay, Finn assumed she was, and then she'd start yelling at him for not finding out what was wrong. What was up with that?

So, no, Finn was not great with emotions, both talking about them and noticing them in others. Still, even he knew something was bugging Kurt basically since the after prom party. Finn had a good idea what it was—he was never going to get the image of his stepbrother basically trying to hump his best friend in Rachel's basement—but he didn't ask. He wasn't good at this stuff, so he'd leave it to Kurt or their parents or Puck or someone who wasn't him.

But when Kurt eventually asked to excuse himself at dinner days after the event, barely picking at what he had in front of him anyways, Finn finally figured he should at least try to talk to him. You know, it's what big brothers do.

After carefully heating up some milk in the microwave, Finn knocked on Kurt's door. Kurt answered and Finn gave him his signature half-smile and offered him one of the glasses. When Kurt took it with a small smile of his own and invited Finn in, he knew he had done well.

"I've noticed you've been a little… _depressed_ lately," Finn said after they had made some small pleasantries. Kurt looked away and Finn hesitated before asking, "…Is it about prom? Or the after party?"

Kurt's head snapped back. "Why do you think that?"

Finn rubbed the back of his neck. Kurt seemed upset about that. God, he was _not_ good at this. "I don't know…I know I wasn't there when you were elected and all but…I don't know. You looked upset in the video. You know, until the dancing started." Kurt relaxed at that, which was good, because Finn didn't want to have to bring up how Kurt and Puck had both been acting so unlike themselves. He didn't really want to interfere with their relationship, especially since he didn't seem to know what his relationships were anymore.

"That was definitely…not fun, no. I'm not too upset anymore, though; I mean, if it had to be anyone, at least it was Noah and not you or Dave or…" Kurt shook his head and looked down at his drink. Of course, part of why he was upset was how his whole friendship seemed out of sorts, but he didn't want to talk about that. Well, he wanted to talk about that, but he wasn't _ready_ to talk about it; he needed to think about it more and figure out his own emotions before he talked to someone about it.

Of course, his other reason was a bit more personal, but Kurt realized that Finn could understand it. Kurt took a sip of his milk and then looked back up. "We're getting close to Mother's Day…and her death day. And hearing about Coach Sylvester's sister just…it's kind of brought it all back." Kurt's eyes went back to his drink.

"Oh." Finn sat down at Kurt's vanity chair and looked down at his feet. "Yeah…I get that."

"I just wish I could help her," Kurt said quietly. "She helped me when my dad was in the hospital," Finn felt his stomach churn in guilt at the memory, "And I can't imagine going through what she did alone. At least I had my dad."

Finn nodded. "I don't remember my dad, but at least I always had my mom." She was the one who attempted to teach him to drive, who taught him how to ride a bike and read…his mom was great. The idea of having to have a family member die like Coach Sylvester was a rough one. She was rude, but she definitely didn't deserve that.

After a few moments of silence, Finn looked back up at Kurt. "Why don't we help her?" Kurt looked at him in confusion. "We can plan a funeral for her so she doesn't have to do it alone. We can get the whole Glee club to help, too."

Slowly, Kurt started to smile. Finn smiled back; maybe he wasn't as bad at this emotions thing as he thought.

—

Kurt knew it was dumb to plan a funeral when they only had a week to their competition. But he also knew that losing a family member was hard, the hardest thing someone could ever go through, and he didn't want his old coach to go through it alone.

It also turned into a really great project he bonded over with Finn. While everyone in the club helped, they were the two that helped make the arrangements and invited guests and chose the song and themes. In between all the planning, the two talked about what they would've done for their own parents' funerals if they had the opportunity. Kurt talked about how afraid he was earlier in the school year that he'd have to plan his dad's funeral. It was actually nice to just talk to Finn, and not just because he and Noah were still a bit weird; it was just nice to talk to Finn as a brother.

But what was even better was helping Sue. Somehow he managed not to completely sob as she struggled through her speech and let Mr. Schue take over. Somehow he made it through the song the Glee club prepared for it. But as soon as he left the church to go to the grave, his eyes started to well up.

Once the crowd cleared some, Kurt walked towards a still familiar path, a flower he had bought earlier in his hand. It took a little while but he finally found what he was looking for:

_Here Lies Katherine Elizabeth Hummel_

_Loving Wife, Teacher, and Mother_

Kurt looked at the headstone for a small while as his eyes teared up. He sniffed quietly and suddenly there was an arm around his shoulders. Kurt immediately turned into the familiar touch and buried his head into Noah's shoulder.

And just like that, all of the discomfort between the two of them disappeared. Kurt melted into Noah's touch and turned completely into his arms. Noah's hand ran up and down his back soothingly as he rested his head on Kurt's, the grave all too close. Eventually Kurt and Noah put the flower down together. Then Noah grabbed Kurt's hand like he did that first time all those years ago, and Kurt couldn't help but smile as he grabbed it in return.

—

"I can't believe that we're leaving for New York tomorrow and we only have one song ready. And after all those auditions, we don't even have _soloists_ ," Kurt complained as he stuffed yet another pair of shoes into his rolling bag.

"I can't believe that we have to be at school at six in the morning and you still haven't packed," Noah said dryly. It was already eleven at night and, night owl or not, Kurt was normally the one who was packed and prepped before him and nagging about needing to sleep.

_Such a Hermione_ , Noah thought.

Kurt rolled his eyes at his friend. "I know, I know. But it's _New York_. I have to have all my outfits perfected for this trip."

"It's a city, Kurt. It can't really judge you, you know."

Kurt gave Noah an unamused look, which just made him chuckle. Honestly, Kurt looked really cute when he did that. And pretty hot, too, if he was being honest. "You're lucky I'm letting you stay the night so you can get a ride," Kurt muttered.

"You're lucky I'm not already trying to sleep," Noah said bluntly. He was actually already in his pajamas, his travel bag full of T-shirts and jeans and his performing outfit over by Kurt's computer.

Kurt sighed and said, "I just need to pack my moisturizers. Honestly, this whole eight ounce of liquid system or whatever is simply barbaric." He continued to rant as he carefully wrapped his moisturizers in plastic sandwich bags and placed them in his check bag. "This would be a lot easier if I could just stick them into my carry on luggage."

"Yeah, but somehow you can apparently make a bomb out of…" Noah grabbed one of Kurt's creams and read the label, "…Pond's Cold Cream?" He looked up at Kurt with a raised eyebrow. "Dude, my nana uses this stuff."

Kurt yanked it away with a frown. "Sometimes the vintage stuff works the best." He sniffed and Noah just laughed again before getting back to his side of the bed (while trying not to think about how it was _his_ side of the bed because he shouldn't have a side of his best friend's bed, right?).

After about five more minutes of packing, Kurt finally declared himself done. He carefully laid out his traveling/first day in New York outfit on his vanity's chair and crawled into bed next to Noah.

"Okay, the alarm is set for five. That should be enough time to get dressed and get to school by six. Finn and I also made sure to agree to make sure the other was up by 5:15, so we should be all clear," Kurt said. Noah nodded and got under the covers. Then Kurt turned off the lights and whispered, "Goodnight, Noah. Love you."

Noah took his usual position behind Kurt and gently rested his hand on Kurt's side. After a moment he said, "Love you, too, Kurt."

He knew he was playing with fire with those words, those words that held a deeper level than Kurt even knew. But as Noah relaxed around Kurt's body, his body consumed by Kurt's flame, he knew it was all worth it to be around Kurt.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow update! I was trying to combine this with the next chapter, but it just didn't work well with the flow of the story. The good news is that the next chapter should be up a lot sooner since I only have a few more scenes to write! It's a biggie! Let me know what you think. Also, I wanted to say thank you for the reviews and the hits and the favorites and everything. It means more than I can say.
> 
> Another note: I originally planned on the events of the next chapter, then another chapter, and an epilogue. Now I might stick in one or more chapters to touch on their lives together; we'll see how much I want to cover. I also might change one of my endgames (not Puckurt, obviously), but I promise that everyone in this story gets a happily ever after, since that's what I'm all about!


	30. Pretending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bright lights in a big city lead to a big reveal, and Santana, like the Tin Man, proves she's had a heart all along. Rewrite of 2x22, "New York".

 

Somehow, Kurt, Puck, and Finn all got up by five and, after a lot of bleary eyed stumbling around the house as they got ready, made it to school with ten minutes to spare. Burt and Carole dropped them off and gave all three of them big hugs.

"Did you bring your medication?" Burt asked Kurt quietly. Finn gave him an odd look and Kurt quietly mumbled that he had before giving his dad a final hug.

Once they drove out of sight, Kurt quickly brought his heavy check bag to the bus driver and then carried his messenger bag onto the bus with him before Finn could ask him what his dad meant.

Mr. Schue checked off their names as they lumbered onto the bus and offered them donuts from a baker's dozen he bought for the kids. Kurt took a glazed one before walking forward. He grabbed an empty spot in front of Tina and Mike and pulled Noah down next to him.

After everyone boarded, the bus started and they were on their way to the Toledo airport. Kurt enjoyed the hushed chatter as the trip went on since it brought him outside of his head. However, the talk died down after about half an hour and Kurt was almost ready to convince Rachel in starting some sort of sing-along.

Before he knew it, they had all checked their bags and were through the short security line (Kurt still muttering about it being barbaric after he had to take off his shoes, hat, coat, and belt). Mr. Schue gathered them up outside their gate to go over the trip itinerary.

"So, we'll land in New York a few hours before we can check in at the hotel. I figured we can leave our bags there and then I can let you guys explore the city a bit before we get to work." He smiled brightly at this and everyone perked up at that. "Have any of you been to New York before?" The only person who raised her hand was Quinn, much to Rachel's jealousy. "As long as you all stay in one group, you should be fine. Don't separate, okay?"

They all nodded obediently and Mr. Schue changed topics. "Have any of you flown before?" They all raised their hands this time and Mr. Schue seemed a little surprised. "Oh, that's good, then. So I don't have to explain anything about it." Kurt's hands clutched nervously at his messenger bag, twisting the strap as his teacher went on. "As you saw on your tickets, we have assigned seats by last name," Kurt's hands tightened at that, "But we can always shuffle around a bit if need be."

Kurt let out a sigh of relief and his teacher finally gave him a good look over. His outfit was, in typical Kurt fashion, over the top, but underneath the hat, he couldn't help but notice that his student looked paler than usual. "Kurt? Are you okay?"

All eyes moved to Kurt and he blushed a bit. He loved being in the spotlight, of course, but he didn't like it when he was under distress. But after a sigh he admitted, "I'd just, um, like to sit next to Noah if I could. Since he's been with me on a plane he kinda, um, already knows how to handle it."

Santana's face lit up in recognition. "Oh, yeah. I remember that from the cheerleading Nationals flights," she said, her lips starting the slightest bit of a smirk. "Coach had to give you a Valium. That was the funniest ride of my life."

Kurt rolled his eyes and admitted, "I'm not overly fond of flying, no. I blame it on the fact that my dad would always insist on driving everywhere. And cars at least aren't up in the _sky_ working against _gravity_." Kurt had only been on two other plane rides in his life before he went to cheerleading Nationals, and if it wasn't for the fact that the second one was the return flight, he never would've agreed to it in the first place.

It was for a trip to help Noah's Nana move to Ohio when they were thirteen. Noah had been on a plane before and had even found Sara's old first flight pin to give Kurt for the ride. Kurt had been all smiles as he buckled in, excited to look out the window and see the little patches of land like he saw in movies. But once the plane took off, Kurt stopped smiling. Between the pressures in his ears, the sickening feeling of the plane leaving the ground, and the first bought of turbulence, Kurt was clutching onto Noah's hand for dear life.

Finding out that you had a fear of heights on your first airplane ride wasn't ideal.

"…Okay," Mr. Schue said warily. "So, do you have something to help or…?"

"I got it covered, Mr. Schuester, don't worry."

Kurt had gone to a doctor once he was back at McKinley to get a Xanax prescription for the plane ride and the bottle was right at the top of his bag at the moment. Hey, at least that was like his only big _thing_. Spiders were freaky, but he could kill them, and he wasn't scared of snakes or anything. He could handle having a fear of flying. After all, he could take Xanax or Valium or even Ambien for all his future plane rides when he was rich and famous, including that honeymoon flight to Hawaii he had already planned in his head. He wasn't too worried.

"Got it," Mr. Schue said. He looked over the itinerary and suggested, "You and Finn are together; how about you trade spots with Brittany? Is that okay?" Kurt nodded and Brittany smiled.

"Don't be scared, Kurtie. We're gonna be fine," she said after a moment, giving his hands a soft squeeze. Her eyes widened. "Your hands are still so soft—"

"Anyone else want to trade before we get on there?" Mr. Schue asked, distracting Brittany enough that Kurt could pull his hands away.

Santana and Sam traded so he wouldn't have to be next to his ex, Quinn, and so he could also be by Mercedes. Then Rachel swapped with Lauren so she could be by Mr. Schuester, the final person the list, and talk to him about strategies. He seemed wary of that change, but he accepted it. Plus it meant if Artie needed help getting into his seat, Lauren could handle it.

The entirety of New Directions started to file onto the plane soon enough. Lauren and Artie went on for pre-boarding, Artie calling out, "See you losers later, yo!" Then they boarded with the rest of the passengers, Kurt holding onto Brittany's ticket with one hand and Noah's hand with the other, his grip deadly tight.

As soon as they sat down, Kurt shakily brought the Xanax to his mouth, already cut in half as per the doctor's orders for the short flight, and swallowed it dry. Puck moved to the window and, making sure no flight attendant was around to reprimand him, closed it. Why was it supposed to be open anyways? That was such a stupid rule.

Noah raised the armrest between them and put an arm around Kurt, drawing him as close as he could with their seatbelts on. "It's going to be a short flight, babe," he said soothingly, "Don't worry about it." Kurt nodded as Noah shushed him, closing his eyes as the Xanax started to kick in.

Of course he still tensed up at the take off, burying his head in Noah's chest and wincing at the discomfort in his ears, but once the plane leveled off, he actually felt, well, _peaceful._ The combination of Noah's calm voice and warm hold along with the medication and lack of sleep made him very tired.

"Thank you," Kurt said sleepily. As he started to drift off, he thought that he'd have to bring Noah on his future plane rides as well. Hopefully his husband wouldn't mind him joining them on their honeymoon.

—

After eating their lunch in New York City, New Directions made their way back to the hotel and eagerly explored the lobby while Mr. Schuester checked in. Kurt was looking over the expensive marble interior and large windows with Mercedes when Puck and Lauren made eye contact.

They hadn't spoken to each other since the party, which kind of sucked. Even if they weren't together, which Puck now realized was a good thing because of the whole being in love with his best friend thing, he still wanted to be her friend. They were good as friends. He was about to tell her so when she asked, "Wanna see if they'll serve us at the bar?"

Puck immediately grinned and said, "Hell yeah." After straightening his jacket, he made his way over to the bar with Lauren, the bartender already eyeing them doubtfully.

After getting way too many keys for three rooms (his room, the boys' room, and the girls' room) he grabbed Kurt. "Are you feeling okay?" Mr. Schue asked as Mercedes joined Tina on one of the plush couches.

"Of course!" Kurt said brightly. "I'm just so happy to be here, plane ride or not. And my medication has already worn off, so we're fine."

"Good, good…" Mr. Schue trailed off and Kurt waited for him to say whatever else was on his mind. Finally, he said, "Listen, the person at the front desk said most of the choirs…they um…" Kurt raised an eyebrow. "They tend to have the, uh, rooms separated by…sexuality…" Kurt kept staring at Mr. Schue and waited for him to finish the thought, even though he knew what his teacher was trying to say. "So…I was wondering if you'd rather stay with the girls."

Kurt blinked and said, "Funny that I get to be part of the girls' group now." Mr. Schue looked a bit sheepish and Kurt sighed. "While I _have_ had sleepovers with almost every girl in glee, I think I'll stick with the boys." At his teacher's surprised look, Kurt gave him a look that managed to say he was an idiot without being too rude. "I've had a sleepover with Noah averaging to once a week since we were three. It's going to be easier for me to fall asleep that way." Kurt grinned and added, "Plus I'll have more room for my beauty products in their room. But I'll let you know if I change my mind; being in the same room as Finn as he snores _might_ be too much."

Then, looking off to the direction of the bar, Kurt added, "You might want to grab Noah and Lauren; I think the two of them might be trying to get some alcohol and we don't need Noah back in Juvie." Mr. Schue groaned and marched over to the bar to start collecting his students.

—

Kurt couldn't stop smiling as they snuck out of the hotel, Noah by his side the entire way. "Nice performance back there," Kurt laughed, thinking back to the guitar part Noah provided for Brittany's original and rather _creative_ song.

Noah groaned and shook his head. "Artie just gave me chords and a tempo! How was I supposed to know she was singing about an actual cup?"

Kurt laughed again but he had to ask, "Do you think they're getting back together?" Noah looked at him and he clarified, "Artie and Brittany, I mean. I know it wasn't a romantic song or anything, but I don't know…"

Noah's eyes darted over to where Santana and Brittany were laughing together. He couldn't help but smile at that before he turned back to Kurt. "Nah. I think they're done for good. They're just friends."

Kurt was too distracted by the city around him to question why Noah seemed so confident about that, which was probably for the better, because it just got Noah thinking about Brittany and Santana. He knew Santana had to be full on gay (if she was dating a guy who obviously wasn't going to have sex with her, she couldn't just be bi, right?) and she was definitely in love with Brittany. He could never really read Brittany, but he could see a lot of echoes in their relationship from his own with Kurt.

Of course, Brittany and Kurt weren't really alike past being wide-eyed and innocent at times, at least not on the surface. But both of them _had_ befriended angry, outspoken assholes that only they saw the softer side of. Both of them managed to calm said assholes down when need be. And Noah knew from personal experience with both of them that they were honestly the scarier of the two to deal with when crossed (when they were in third grade, Noah pushed Santana out of the way to get to the swings and Brittany almost made him cry in response). Honestly, Noah wouldn't be surprised if Kurt turned out to be as kinky as Brittany was, too, since he knew who exactly pushed the limits between her and Santana.

And while he thought that over, he wondered if Santana had told Brittany. They had seemed tense for a while, so maybe she had told Britt about her true feelings. But now they were laughing and running around the city and looked happy together. Their friendship definitely repaired itself and they weren't even on his and Kurt's level, in his own very biased opinion.

Did that mean he could tell Kurt? Would they be okay? Hadn't he learned just last year that he couldn't hide his feelings from Kurt if he wanted their relationship to work?

That thought kind of made his head spin. Noah had been worried so much about whether Kurt liked him back that he never thought about how they had promised to be honest about their feelings.

Oh god. He needed to tell Kurt, didn't he? Especially if he wanted to get back to feeling as free as Santana and Brittany did. His stomach burned at the thought, his head swimming until Kurt pulled his hand.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

Noah smiled and gave his hand a small squeeze. "I'm fine." And with that, Noah pushed himself into exploring the city with his favorite group of people (though he'd never admit it to the rest of the glee club).

When they started to head back to the hotel, though, Noah noticed Kurt texting someone and smiling a bit. "What's up?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing," Kurt said. "Just planning a little coffee date with Blaine."

"What?!" Puck asked, his voice a bit higher than he had expected.

Kurt gave his best friend a look. "What? We said we wanted to be friends. He asked for some pictures of New York, and I sent some. We chatted a bit and we decided to meet up for coffee when I get back. He wants to live here someday, too, you know."

"Oh…cool," Noah said. That jealousy he hadn't felt since they broke up filled in his chest. He really wasn't sure if Blaine was truly just interested in being friends with Kurt. What sane person _wouldn't_ want more from him?

And just like that, a really good day started to turn sour.

—

When Kurt stepped in to take a shower their first night in New York, Mike, Sam, and Artie expected to have to wait patiently for access to the bathroom again. Much to their surprise, Kurt wasn't even in there for five minutes before the shower stopped, then a few minutes later he popped back out in his pajamas.

"Huh," Mike said. "I kinda thought you'd be using all the hot water you could."

Kurt opened his mouth to reply but Noah beat him to it. "Hot water dries you out so it's best to avoid it if you have dry skin," Noah said robotically, having heard that statement all his life.

Finn followed with the rest of Kurt's comment in a similar voice, "And it's also best to take shorter showers, too, if you have dry skin. You just need to wash and leave."

"Wash and leave," Noah repeated, still staring at the ceiling above the couch he was laying on.

Kurt pursed his lips as the other boys laughed good-naturedly. Then he broke into a grin and said, "I choose to see this is a compliment, so thank you for memorizing my words of wisdom." With a push back of his wet bangs, he went over to the mirror in the room where he sat up his moisturizers. "My skin is also dried out from the plane, hence the earlier than usual moisturizing routine," he explained, though he knew none of the guys particularly cared.

He was halfway through when Finn asked, "Can I try something out on you guys?" No one said anything in response, so he continued, "I was thinking Rachel and I could sing a duet."

Mike shrugged, "I just wanna win. We all know you two doing a duet is our best shot at that." Kurt was pretty sure that, as Quinn had pointed out in a recent glee club meeting, that when they sang a duet, they lost. But he remained silent as he focused on lightly applying his eye cream.

"Okay, can we talk about the Jewish elephant in the room?" Noah asked. "Ask her out, dude."

"Who, Rachel?" Finn said. He shook his head, "But she's totally into Jesse right now."

"You're in New York: the City of Love," Noah said.

"That's Paris," Kurt said under his breath, right as Sam said, "I thought that was Paris…"

"Anything's possible here," Noah continued. "You need to ask her out. _Tonight_. Take her on one of those big dates in those movies Kurt makes us watch." He seemed really determined to get this point across for some reason or another.

"This is your shot, dude. If I was in love with a girl and I wasn't homeless, I'd totally go for it," Sam admitted after a moment.

They all were silent for a moment before Finn looked at his brother. "What do you think, Kurt?"

Kurt looked over in shock, his eyebrows furrowed together. He honestly thought this was all "guy talk" and naturally assumed he wasn't invited. He probably shouldn't have assumed that, though. Especially if he wanted people to remember that, yes, he got along best with the girls but he was, in fact, a guy.

"You know Rachel better than everyone else," Finn pointed out. "What do you think? Do you think she's still into Jesse?"

Kurt's face relaxed and he looked back into the mirror. "I'm pretty sure Rachel likes the idea of any guy who chases her. It doesn't matter if it's you or Jesse." He opened up another bottle of moisturizer and continued, "Rachel likes attention. She also likes you, yes. Jesse is a way for her to get attention and also get _your_ attention. But between you and Jesse, she'll always choose you."

Sam, Mike, and Artie nodded; that sounded fairly accurate. "So, should I go after her?" Finn asked.

"Come on, Kurt, tell him to do it so he'll shut up and stop waiting for something to happen," Puck said. He was confident Kurt would tell him to go for it. Kurt was always a sucker about going after love.

Kurt, however, raised an eyebrow. "No," he said. He looked over at Finn, "I don't think you should. I think that it's ridiculous to distract her before a really big competition. You'll have all the time to do whatever you want in Lima. Why hurt our chances now?"

"So he can take her out in her favorite place on earth. Isn't that the dream date?" Noah asked.

Kurt looked over at Noah, kind of confused at how attached he was to this idea. "I don't think Finn should mess with her mind so close to the competition. Rachel wouldn't want that, either. This is a big deal for her, not just us."

"But waiting isn't going to help with anything."

"But waiting isn't going to _ruin_ anything, either," Kurt said, his eyes only narrowing because Noah's were.

"If there's history, why should you wait? You should tell someone how you feel right away," Noah said, trying to be calm.

"Um, guys—" Finn tried to intervene.

"Why ruin what could be a really important friendship? They've finally been getting close, and now that some guy's back on the scene, Finn needs to make some move? That's ridiculous!" Kurt looked back at Finn, "Do what you want, but I don't think we need to be asking anyone out or confessing feelings just because we're in New York. We have bigger things to focus on right now. Plus, Mr. Schue doesn't want us to wander around, remember? You shouldn't risk getting eliminated."

Noah looked like he wanted to respond, but Finn just said, "You're right." He looked thoughtful for a few moments before standing up, "But I love her. I don't wanna wait."

Kurt rolled his eyes and turned back to the mirror to (angrily) put on more lotion and the rest of the guys helped Finn plan something for Rachel.

By the time they went to bed that night, Kurt and Noah had let go of any anger they had from their earlier disagreement. But while Kurt fell asleep relatively quickly, Noah stayed up for a while after. He couldn't shake off what Kurt had said and how it applied to them. Maybe he really needed to keep how he felt for Kurt inside.

—

The next day, Kurt had to pinch himself repeatedly. He had to be dreaming. First of all, he managed to sneak a way into the girls' room (well, okay, they gave him a key because he asked for one, but he still managed not to wake anyone up in the process) and get a hold of Rachel for breakfast at Tiffany's. Kurt could recognize that the movie had a lot of hardcore racism and was overrated, but he _needed_ to eat breakfast there like the film lover he was. Kurt had considered asking Noah, but he knew it wasn't really his scene and Rachel would appreciate it more. Plus Noah seemed a bit offended for whatever reason over what had happened yesterday and Kurt didn't want to press the issue further.

After breakfast, he used his sneaking skills once again—Rachel accused him of possibly spending too much time with Noah, which just made him roll his eyes—to get them into the _Wicked_ theater. And by some magic stroke of luck, a guard _let them stay there_. And while there was no orchestra or audience, singing the climactic Act Two duet with Rachel on the Gershwin stage was the best performing experience of his life; Nationals was never going to compare.

Kurt was walking on air as he and Rachel headed back to the hotel. He was sure as he scanned his hotel room key that nothing would bring him down at all.

Of course, he was wrong about that.

"Where have you been?"

Kurt rolled his eyes at Noah's tone. "Rachel and I had our own _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ moment. With bagels." He couldn't stop himself from grinning again at the memory. "Then we managed to get in the Gershwin Theatre—it's where _Wicked_ is—and we got to sing on that stage!" Kurt brought his hands to his cheek. "It was magical; I can't believe it."

Noah shook his head. "Look, I'm glad you're happy, Kurt, but if you keep sneaking off, someone's going to tell Schue and you're going to get banned from competing."

Kurt's eyes narrowed, "You just told Finn last night to try to woo Rachel and encouraged him to take her out on a date; why can't I have one of my dream moments in the city?"

"Mr. Schue was out somewhere last night and we were in our rooms. Now everyone is supposed to be working on songs in the same room. Rachel and Finn disappearing last night is nothing; you and Rachel disappearing when we're all in one group is a lot more suspicious," Puck pointed out. "Plus Quinn noticed."

Kurt paled a bit at that, but then straightened up as he looked for a more casual outfit to wear for the rest of the day. "So? She wouldn't tell. She doesn't want us kicked out."

"I wouldn't put it past her."

Instead of responding, Kurt just shook his head and pulled out another outfit. "Fine, I'm sorry. It won't happen again, okay? I'll just wait until I live here to have any fun," Kurt said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Noah wanted to make him understand what was going to happen, but he realized he was too angry for this. The idea of Kurt thinking pushing romance for Rachel and Finn was too much just made him feel like maybe he'd think the same about him. It made him angry. It made him upset and hurt and frustrated, which all boiled down to him wanting to yell at Kurt.

All of that stopped, though, as Kurt started to take off his suit from earlier. Puck just stared as Kurt casually started to change his outfit. They had been friends for years, but Kurt had changed in front of him _maybe_ three times, maybe less, especially since puberty hit. Noah couldn't help but watch the muscles in Kurt's arm flex, the slight contours on his abs, the smoothness of his skin…

"Noah?" Kurt asked. "You okay?"

Noah snapped out of it and nodded. "Um, yeah. Yeah. I'm fine, sorry. Just was thinking of a song idea." Kurt put on an undershirt and Noah decided it was best to leave before Kurt started to change pants.

—

After Mr. Schue confirmed he was going to stay their teacher, despite his big Broadway chance, he did his best to focus the kids on writing the final song and putting it together. All the Glee clubbers were spread around Mr. Schue's large hotel room trying to figure out what to write. Well, some of them were trying to write at least; Kurt and Rachel were far too interested in talking about their break-in at Gershwin to work on an actual song, while Quinn was showing off her new haircut she got downtown. Mr. Schue either didn't hear the stories or didn't want to ban them from competing which made sense; if they were kicked out, they wouldn't have enough members to compete, so it would basically be a shot in the foot.

Noah did his best to ignore it for a while, but eventually he got up and went back to the boys' room. Once he was there, he pulled out his guitar and strummed some chords that were in his head, staring at the wall in front of him as he tried to lose himself to the music.

Eventually the door opened and Finn came in. "Oh. Sorry. I couldn't really concentrate in there; Rachel keeps talking about _Wicked_ and all of that and…" Finn trailed off there. Seeing Rachel so happy was awesome, but seeing her so happy without him kinda sucked.

"Yeah," Puck said, not really sure what else to say.

"I just don't get it," Finn said, too frustrated to _not_ talk about it anymore. He kind of wished he had a glass of warm milk since that always made it easier for him to talk, but something told him that Puck would get what he meant. "She just ran out on me, you know? And why? It just feels like we're pretending there's nothing there when we both know that's not true. And why? Wouldn't it just be better to put things out in the open?"

Noah looked over at his friend and then shook his head. "Yeah. I get that." He sighed and looked back over at the TV, not wanting to look at Finn as he bore his soul out. "Like, I get that it's hard to say this stuff out loud and I hate talking about this stuff. But I know I need to do it, and soon. I know he doesn't like being pushed, but if I just keep it all a secret, how am I supposed to know if he feels the same?"

His eyes widened as he realized what he said. _He_. Noah looked over at Finn, hoping to see his face blank, but Finn was smirking a bit at him.

"So you haven't told Kurt yet," Finn said. It was a simple sentence, really, and he wasn't even giving him any crap for it. Noah relaxed a bit at that, but started to play those chords again.

For a while, the two said nothing and just listened to Puck's guitar strums. Finally, after what seemed like way too long, Noah finally answered, "No. I haven't."

Finn nodded. He knew he couldn't force his friend to say anything, even if he thought Kurt felt the same way. He sighed and looked at his notebook. Then Finn looked back at Puck's guitar, then back to his notes, and then he smiled.

"How would you like me to help you tell him?" Puck looked at Finn curiously and Finn just smiled; he had the perfect plan to help the both of them.

—

So far, all of New York had been like a dream for Kurt. He got to run around Time Square and Central Park; he had breakfast at Tiffany's; he sang on the set of _Wicked_ ; and, finally, he had a _solo_ in a public performance for people all over the country! Okay, well, technically Kurt was singing back up, but it was only him and Noah, so it was like having a duet. So that was something! He couldn't contain his excitement when Finn gave him that part to his song, not even noticing the sneaky smile on his brother's face.

It helped that the song was actually rather touching. Kurt assumed Finn wrote it about Rachel, since it seemed rather fitting now that Rachel seemed to be resisting her want to date Finn. He hoped the song would help them out and, even more so, he hoped it could help them secure the Nationals trophy. He had a feeling _something_ significant was coming, but he really didn't know what it was.

As Rachel and Finn talked backstage, Kurt began to pace a bit to let out his nerves. He knew it was kind of dumb since it wasn't a big solo, but he was just so nervous and excited all at once. It wasn't until Noah came over that he stopped moving.

"Hey," Kurt said. "Are you ready?"

Noah hesitated for a moment, as if truly thinking it over. Finally he nodded and said, "Yeah. Yeah, I am." Kurt smiled up brightly at his friend before giving him a big tight hug. Then they heard a hush fall over the crowd and quickly parted to their separate sides of the stage, Kurt on Finn's side and Noah on Rachel's.

"And now, the champions of Lima, Ohio – the New Directions will be starting with an original song written by their own members, Finn Hudson and Noah Puckerman!"

Kurt's eyebrows pressed together at the announcement. Noah? Why hadn't Noah said he helped write the song?

 _"Face to face and heart to heart, we're so close yet so far apart,"_ Finn and Rachel sang as they started to slowly cross to each other on stage. _"I close my eyes, I look away. That's just because I'm not okay. But I hold on, I stay strong, wondering if we still belong…"_

As they started the chorus, Kurt and Noah walked out like they practiced, the words of the chorus truly hitting Kurt this time as Finn and Rachel sang. _"Will we ever say the words we're feeling, reach down underneath and tear down all the walls? Will we ever have our happy ending, or will we forever only be pretending?"_ Kurt and Noah hit their spots in the center of the stage as Finn and Rachel finished the chorus, _"Will we ah-ah-ah-always, ah-ah-ah-always, ah-ah-ah-always be…pretending?"_

Kurt kept his gaze out steady to the audience as he opened his mouth to sing back up for Finn and Rachel, his voice combining with Noah's to sing simple _ah's_ under the beginning of the second verse. _"How long do I fantasize? Make believe that it's still alive?"_

 _"Imagine that I am good enough,"_ Noah sang with Finn and Rachel. Noah dropped out and Kurt joined in to sing, _"And we can choose the ones we love."_

 _"But I hold on,"_ Finn and Noah sang together as all four of them lifted their offstage hands in the air. Rachel and Kurt joined them on a higher harmony to sing, _"I stay strong,"_ as they pulled their hands down in fists. Their hands dropped by their sides as all four sang, _"Wondering if we still belong…"_

As the second chorus started, Kurt and Noah started on the simple choreography Mike had helped them come up with, mostly arm movements that wouldn't detract from their soloists.

They soon moved onto the bridge, with Kurt and Noah singing small _oh_ s in perfect harmony under Finn and Rachel. " _Keeping secrets safe every move we make seems like no one's letting go_ …"

 _"No one's letting go_ ," Kurt and Noah echoed underneath them.

 _"And it's such a shame_ ," Finn and Rachel continued, and Noah and Kurt joined in to sing, _"'Cause if you feel the same_." Noah and Kurt stopped circling each other, with Kurt on Finn's side and Noah on Rachel's. _"How am I supposed to know_?" They all sang together in a four-part harmony that had given Kurt chills when they learned it.

Now, however, it was giving him chills in a different way. Noah was looking at him significantly as they traded sides again as the rest of ND marched in while singing the chorus. They backed away from each other, like practiced, then walked back towards each other.

Just as Finn and Rachel sang their last repetition of _pretending_ , all of New Directions turned to face the back and Noah grabbed Kurt's hand and squeezed it. In rehearsal, Mike said it was a symbol of the couple in the song stopping the game of pretend. Kurt thought it was beautiful. He still did.

As Kurt looked over at Noah, he just felt like a lump was caught in his throat. Noah had a look in his eyes Kurt had never noticed before, and if the music for "Light Up the World" hadn't started a few moments later, Kurt wasn't sure he would've found a way to move away from Noah's look.

—

Kurt didn't know what to think. Part of him thought he was possibly over-reading the scenario, or at least he _hoped_ he was. After all, Noah played guitar and actually understood chord progressions; maybe he just took over that part for Finn and the lyrics meant nothing to him. On the other hand, he was sure those looks meant something.

The more he thought about it, the more Kurt was sure that Noah was singing to _him_. He thought they were pretending. He wanted a happy ending with him.

Noah was in love with him.

But how did he feel in return? That…that was the question Kurt couldn't answer. Of course he loved Noah, there was no doubt about it and never had been, not since they were little. But was it the same kind of love Noah felt for him?

Was he like the song, keeping secrets safe? Calculating his moves? Well, yes, he definitely had been doing that after the whole kiss incident, but that was to make sure his friends didn't read too far into things, not to cover his own feelings…right? That kiss had been amazing, but that didn't mean anything, did it?

It was too much to take in. Suddenly the bright lights and sounds of the city seemed too loud, too bright, too festive, and that coupled with the fact they didn't make the top ten made him just want to stop thinking.

More than anything, Kurt needed time. He needed time away from the questions in his mind and the burning feeling in his stomach. And that meant he needed time away from Noah, or else he'd never make it.

And he found a way to do that after the guys had to hold back a screaming Santana from attacking Rachel for the kiss she and Finn shared.

Kurt quietly approached his teacher. "Mr. Schue? If I may?" He nodded and Kurt suggested, "I was thinking I could sleep in the girls' room tonight. That way I can keep an eye out on Santana and Rachel. You know, make sure she doesn't try to kill her. I think every extra hand on deck will help."

Mr. Schue nodded, "You know, I think you're right. Thanks for the idea."

Kurt smiled weakly before quickly gathering his stuff from the boys' room and moving into the girls'. He told the girls he wasn't able to handle Finn's snores anymore, which at least made Santana snort a bit, and left it at that.

When he stretched out on the floor, Santana on one side of the room and Rachel on another, he stared at the ceiling for hours. He never knew if he ever truly slipped into sleep or if he just stayed in the area between sleep and dream, his head still full of too many thoughts.

—

Going to the airport the next day was a rather sullen affair. They had gotten the tickets for that Thursday just in case, but the hope was that they were going to stay. Thursday was a day of rest and/or preparation for the finals that took place on Friday. They saw a few other choirs at the airport, but that didn't help their glum feeling. Neither did Mr. Schue reminding them that they still placed twelfth.

Kurt stayed close to the girls and avoided his best friend at all costs. When Mr. Schue asked him if he wanted to trade seats again, Kurt said it was fine and he could ride next to Finn since his medicine had knocked him out pretty easy.

It proved to be a lot harder to relax without Noah there, which just stressed Kurt out more. Though he knew it was wrong and he knew it was stupid, he just need some sleep. So when Finn wasn't looking, Kurt quickly swallowed the other half of his Xanax and slept for the rest of the flight and for most of the bus ride back to McKinley.

—

As much as it hurt Noah to admit, it was obvious that Kurt wanted some time away. Noah assumed Kurt needed to think since of course Kurt worked out what that song meant; that was the whole point of it for him and Finn, after all. It still stung to see Kurt avoid him and he worried about Kurt's fear of flying the whole flight, but he gave his friend some space.

He sat next to Brittany on the plane ride, casting glances at her every now and then. His thoughts kept drifting to how Brittany and Santana had made up. How did they do it? Was their rough patch this bad? Did Santana feel like she was dying inside? Did Brittany return those feelings?

Finally, it was too much for Noah to keep quiet on.

Everyone spread out on the bus ride back, most people sitting by themselves. Noah found a seat near Santana. She was still pretty furious, but she at least wasn't glaring daggers into Rachel's back the whole time.

"Hey," Noah said softly. Santana looked over at him expectedly. "Do you wanna hang out a bit after this?"

"Look, if you're looking for angry sex—"

"I'm not," he said immediately. "I just wanna hang." She looked doubtful and he sighed, "I'll buy you a drink at the Lima Bean."

Santana looked at him questioningly, obviously not sure what he wanted. Finally she gave him a short nod. "Fine. But it better be a big drink."

—

Santana had driven her car to school originally, so they were able to get out of there fast while most people waited for a ride home. Noah couldn't help but notice an extremely tired looking Kurt in the group, but he tried not to look at him for too long.

"So, why this sudden urge to hang? I thought you were just into me for my body," Santana said.

"It's a good body," Noah said after a moment, a small smirk on his face. He paused and said in a more serious voice, "I've always thought we were friends, though. I just wanted to ask you some things." When Santana didn't respond, Noah asked, "How did you tell Brittany you loved her?"

Santana's hands jerked on the steering wheel, causing them to drift into the other lane for a moment. She got it back under control soon enough, but she shot Noah a glare. "Who told you?"

"No one," Puck answered. "I sort of put it together myself. Artie said Brittany cheated on him with you, which probably started when you were dating Sam, so you probably never had sex." Santana said nothing as she stared at the road ahead, her jaw tight. "And I know Karaofsky is gay, so you weren't having sex with him, either. So I figured you loved Brittany. And…I don't know. You guys seemed tense for a while there, so I figured you told her and some drama went down."

They were both silent for a while as Santana stopped at a red light. She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel and didn't say anything until the light turned green. "Well. Who knew we had a freaking Sherlock Holmes among us."

"You know I'm not going to tell anyone."

Santana shot him another look before pulling into the Lima Bean parking lot. "So why are you bringing this up?"

Noah looked down at his lap and sighed. "I wanted your advice since I'm having the same problem with Kurt." He looked back up at her and was surprised to see her face soften ever so slightly.

After a small pause, Santana said, "We're not discussing this in public, it's too personal." Still she pulled out her keys from the ignition and gave Puck a look, "You're still buying me a latté; you can't deny me that."

Once they had the caffeine in their hands, they went to Santana's place. Both of her parents were out, so they grabbed some snacks and headed to Santana's room.

Santana, with a rather serious look on her face, looked Noah up and down. "Look," she said, "I haven't really talked to anyone about this. So…you know, I'm gonna try to help, but this is hard for me. Got it?"

Puck smiled, kind of amazed at how she was even attempting to be vulnerable. "Got it," he said before promptly stuffing some chips into his mouth. Santana wrinkled her nose but didn't say anything about it.

"So. What do you wanna know?"

Puck took his time chewing and swallowing. "How did you tell Brittany? And what happened after?" Santana looked unwilling to reveal those details and Noah sighed. "San, I'm not going to tell anyone. I didn't tell anyone what I figured out, either, not even Kurt…"

Santana noticed the pain in his face at the mention of his best friend. It was a face that mirrored her own only a couple of months ago, back when she was trying to figure out her feelings and finally tell the truth. She couldn't just leave him like that.

After a few more moments of silence, Santana took a deep breath. "When we did that song with Miss Holliday, I realized what I felt for Brittany," Santana said softly. Puck looked up from his lap and watched her, while Santana avoided eye contact. "I guess I always thought what I felt for her was normal friendship stuff. The jealousy, wanting her with me all the time, the pinky holding…and I was scared." She let out a small air of laughter. " _Terrified_. But Brittany wanted the truth from me, so I approached her and told her that…that I'm in love with her."

The room was completely silent as Santana took a drink. Obviously what she wanted to say next was even more painful to admit. "She said she loved me, too," Santana said, smiling a bit. Her smile disappeared as she added, "But she wanted to be with Artie. She couldn't just _leave_ him."

Santana snorted and shook her head. "I did what I could to ignore what I felt. I thought if I got Prom Queen, she'd obey my command. I knew Karofsky wouldn't bother touching me, so we'd make good prom candidates, plus it got Kurt back and made me look like a hero." She finally looked over at Noah and admitted, "And maybe I also missed the guy myself; you weren't the only one who wanted him back." Noah smiled at her and she briefly smiled back.

"After Brittany and Artie broke up, Brittany said she wanted to go to prom with me," Santana admitted. "But…I wasn't ready. I couldn't admit that I'm…" She trailed off and just went onto her next point. "But we're friends still. And I think we always will be. Even if we never get together, she's still my best friend, and I don't think anything can change that."

Noah nodded as Santana took another sip of coffee. He really didn't know what to say, so he wounded up saying, "That's awesome." Santana snorted at the weird reply and Noah let out a laugh as well. "Yeah, that wasn't the best description, but you know what I mean."

"I do," Santana said, letting out a small sigh. She locked eyes with Noah and asked, "So I'm guessing that song was how you feel about Kurt?"

"Yeah," Puck said. "He didn't take it quite as well as Brittany took yours."

"Well, Brittany was the one who made us go to Miss Holliday and try to figure it out," Santana shrugged. "Maybe giving him the push will help."

Noah sighed. "Knowing him, he's probably over-thinking and analyzing it. He's probably trying to convince himself he misinterpreted it…but he's normally not wrong about these things." Kurt always seemed to know what Noah was thinking and feeling, even if he never said it out loud. He was creepy that way.

"Then maybe you should make it clear to him."

"I don't know," Noah said. He looked back down at his lap. "I don't want to lose our friendship again."

"Dude, did you seriously not listen to me?" Santana asked with raised eyebrows. He looked up at her and she continued, "Brittany and I made it through this; you guys can make it through, too." She shook her head, "Brittany and I are strong and always have been, but we still haven't been through half the shit you and Kurt have gone through. Even if you guys were weird for a while, like you were after prom, you're gonna make it out alive. Kurt would probably put it as a page in your friendship scrapbook or whatever the hell you guys do."

Puck slowly smiled. "He _does_ have one of those."

"Not surprised," Santana said before having another sip of coffee. She ran a hand through her hair and then looked at Puck seriously again. "I'm gonna attempt to be nice here, okay?" Puck nodded and Santana gave him a sympathetic look. "I care about you, Noah. I don't want you getting hurt. It's possible that making it clear to Kurt will end up hurting you…but hiding how you feel is really gonna hurt more." Before Noah could say anything, Santana continued, "Come on, Puckerman. You're not the type to hide out on the sidelines and think this shit through. I know this is important so you wanna make sure it's right, and I know Kurt's the type of guy who makes you think, but you gotta get out of your head."

She raised an eyebrow expectedly at him. Without even thinking it through anymore, Noah asked, "You wanna help me find a song?"

Santana grinned. "I actually think I know the perfect one." At Noah's look, she stood up, "You remember when Kurt made you guys do 'Single Ladies' for football?"

"Yeah." Noah stood up as well, watching her curiously.

"Everyone remembers that," Santana said as she walked over to her desk. "That's going to be a big part of how he's remembered at school. Hell, it's gonna be a big part of how our team's going to be remembered, even with Bieste actually making us good." She started going through her CDs there and Noah watched her, not sure what she was trying to say.

Finally, she pulled out a CD and said, "If you want to get Kurt's attention, if you want this to be a big deal, you have to beat those defining moments. Beyoncé, _Dirty Dancing_ , all of that."

She turned to face Noah, smirking as he looked at the CD case she was holding, "And there's only one song that has _ever_ beaten 'Single Ladies'."

—

When Kurt got to the Lima Bean after the flight home, he ordered a much stronger and bigger drink than his usual grande nonfat mocha. Blaine noticed this right away. "Wow, is the jet lag really that bad?"

"Oh, no," Kurt said. "I took a Xanax for the flight because of my anxiety and I'm still kind of wiped out." He took a long sip before quietly admitting, "I took more than I should've."

"Were you that depressed about not winning?" Blaine asked in concern.

Kurt looked up at Blaine. Blaine looked extremely willing to talk about whatever was on Kurt's mind, and they _were_ trying to be friends…

That would be ridiculous, though. Kurt and Blaine were friends, yes, or were trying to be. But Blaine was… _Blaine_. His ex. The guy who got jealous over Noah just holding Kurt's hand. How was Kurt supposed to say that what he had suspected was true and that his jealousy was rational to some degree?

Plus, come on, he was probably overreacting. Noah hadn't even said anything to him since the song. He probably just helped write the chords like Kurt had initially thought.

Right?

Kurt put on a smile and simply said, "It wasn't that, no. I just was up most of the night trying to make sure Santana didn't kill Rachel. I wanted an excuse to just pass out on the flight." Blaine laughed and prompted Kurt to tell him more about Santana's reaction.

At least it was a way to keep him distracted.

—

By the time they finished looking up chords online and going over the song until Noah was completely memorized, Santana's parents were home and inviting Noah to join them for dinner. He didn't want to intrude, but they insisted, and after Santana reminded him that her parents _definitely_ didn't know, she also seemed happy to have him over.

Eventually, though, Santana had to take Noah home. Santana started the familiar drive and Noah said, "Thank you for everything. Seriously. I know it wasn't easy to talk about that stuff."

"Yeah…well, you're welcome," Santana said. After a beat, she added, "Thanks for listening."

"You're welcome."

The two drove in a rather content silence for a few minutes. Then Noah asked, "So, do you think you're, like, fully gay or…?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "I don't think that's what you're supposed to call it," she said sarcastically, "But, yeah. I'm…I'm a lesbian." She put on her turn signal and turned into Noah's neighborhood. "What about you?"

He shrugged in response. "I realized I might like guys sometime last year. I just kinda stopped thinking about it. Maybe it's mainly a Kurt thing or something, but, c'mon, you know boobs are amazing."

Santana scoffed and rolled her eyes, refusing to give Noah a response to that.

Once they pulled up to Noah's house, he undid his seatbelt. "Can I ask one more question?" Santana turned to look at him and he took a deep breath, looking at her seriously. "So, if you're gay…did you not enjoy sex with me?"

Santana couldn't hold back a loud laugh at that, and Noah laughed as well. While he was curious, he also definitely said it in part to lighten the mood. "C'mon, Lopez; I had to at least be one of the better guys you did it with, right? We all know Hudson can't keep it up for long." That, of course, made both of them laugh even more.

When they finally calmed down, Santana, still smiling, slowly said, "Of all the guys I was with…" She rolled her eyes and finished, "You were probably the best, yes." Before Noah could get too cocky and dude-bro about it, Santana added, "It helped that you let me peg you multiple times." She laughed again and Noah rolled his eyes, but soon laughed himself. It was just ridiculous to think of those moments now, what with how their own love lives had turned out.

"See you, Lopez," Noah said as he grabbed his stuff and got out of the car. "And thanks again."

"You, too, Puckerman," she said. She looked thoughtful and said, "We should do this again sometime." With a final wave, she backed out of his driveway and headed back to her house. Noah watched her leave as a small breeze started to waft through the trees.

Surprisingly enough, he actually really hoped they did hang out again soon.

—

The next day at school, the New Directions were called in for one final meeting. Mr. Schue wanted to have a little celebration to celebrate coming in twelfth (which was, admittedly, really good) and to celebrate another year of Glee club.

As they all came in, there were some clear ideas of what summer romances were going to blossom. Finn and Rachel were two of the last people to enter, and even Santana had mellowed out enough to not give them any crap. It probably helped that she and Brittany had entered together, much to Puck's liking. Santana gave him a shy smile, which made him smile more. Tina and Mike had come in together, and no one batted an eye when Artie rolled in right behind them.

A lot of things had changed since the start of the school year, but some things were still the same.

Just to mark that difference, Kurt entered and sat down next to Noah. "Hi," he said, a forced amount of cheer and _this is normal_ put into his small greeting.

"Hey," Noah said. His heart fluttered like it had all those months ago when things were _definitely_ not normal. At least they were talking this time.

For now.

In between some cheap cookies and generic soda Mr. Schue had brought, the team and their teacher broke up into small groups and talked, laughed, and reminisced. Yes, it sucked that they didn't win or even make the top ten, but they knew they'd win next year. They all moved around and mingled with different people. At some point Tina and Santana played some piano and the jazz band kids joined in. For once, instead of working on some weird project or competition, they were just having fun.

Eventually Mr. Schue got to the front of the room and told everyone to get back in their seats. "Guys, I just want you to know how proud I am of each and every one of you," he said with a big smile. "I mean it. You guys really pulled together as a team. I really admire that. And I can't wait to see what this team does next year that gets us to first in the nation!"

They all cheered at that and Mr. Schue laughed. "Okay, okay, settle down. Now, I've been told that there's a tradition that will continue from last year. Noah Puckerman has something he'd like to perform for you!"

Everyone clapped and Noah got up there with a nervous smile. "Hey…so, um…" Noah had no idea what to say. He desperately looked into the platforms for Santana, who popped up almost instantly.

"Noah has a song to sing for us," she said simply. "We worked on it last night, switched up a few words, and worked on some chords…I think you guys are gonna like it." She smirked in a knowing way that made a few of them, Artie especially, raise their eyebrows hopefully. " _Trust_ me."

Noah nodded in thanks and she sat back down. Then, with a guitar in hand, Noah cued the band on a familiar tune.

After just a few beats, everyone in the room recognized the song as Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me". A few of the glee clubbers let out shocked laughs at Noah's choice of song, but when they realized what they it probably meant, they were all oddly attentive.

 _"You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset_ ," Noah sang, since they decided not to switch words at first. _"She's going off about something that you said, 'cause she doesn't get your humor like I do_." As he sang, he kept his eyes down on his guitar and watched his fingering carefully. It was the only thing keeping him calm for the moment. _"I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night. I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like, and she'll_ never _know your story like I do."_

Noah managed to look to the back of the room as he started the pre-chorus. _"But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts. She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers dreaming 'bout the day when you wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time._

 _"If you could see that I'm the one who understands you,"_ he sang passionately, _"Been here all along. So why can't you see you belong with me? You belong with me_."

Noah swung his guitar around on its strap so it laid against his back, something Santana said would make him more vulnerable. Apparently that was a good thing. He looked up at Santana, preparing himself to personalize the song more, and was happy to see her smiling and nodding along.

In fact, as he looked around her, he saw other people acting the same way. It was enough to make him smile some more, even as he avoided Kurt's eyes. _"Walk in the streets with you and my worn out jeans, I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be_ ," Noah sang, moving around a bit. _"Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself, 'Hey, isn't this easy?'"_

He turned towards Kurt, and finally sang to him, _"And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town. I haven't seen it in a while since he brought you down."_ Noah shook his head. " _I haven't seen it in a while since he brought you down. You say you're fine; I know you better than that."_ Giving a small scoff, he continued, _"Hey, what you doing with a guy like that?"_

Noah directed the rest of the group as he sang, _"He wears loafers, I wear sneakers."_ Imitating one of Blaine's over-the-top dance moves, he sang, _"He's lead singer and I'm on the bleachers dreaming 'bout the day when you wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time!"_

As Noah sang the chorus that time, he looked around at the rest of his classmates. Artie was smiling from ear to ear; Finn wore his usual small but happy smile while Rachel beamed; Tina and Mercedes were nearly bursting from their seats in excitement; even Lauren and Quinn looked pretty happy to see him acknowledge what had been so obvious to them for so long. _"If you could see that I'm the one who understands you, been here all along, so why can't you see you belong with me?"_

He turned to his side. _"Standing by_ ," he gave a small thrust as he sang, _"And waiting at your backdoor_." (Hey, he was still a Puckerman, and that joke had to be made). _"All this time how could you not know baby? You belong with me. You belong with me_."

With that, Noah turned to look at Noah as the band play the instrumental break. Dread settled in his stomach as he saw Kurt looking at him with confusion and maybe a bit of hurt. Kurt looked around briefly as he realized everyone was staring at him, then looked back at Noah with apprehension. He looked like he wanted to say something, but Noah had to finish this song. If he didn't now, he wasn't sure he ever would.

Noah slid down to his knees in front of Kurt and sang up to him desperately. _"Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night. I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry,"_ Noah sang, trying not to cry in desperation himself as Kurt continued to look at him like that, his voice cracking a bit. _"I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams. Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me…_ "

Noah stood up and kept his eyes on Kurt. Simply and plainly, he sang the truth, _"Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you? Been here all along…So why can't you see you belong with me?"_ As the band crescendoed, Noah's voice grew as well. _"Standing by and waiting at your backdoor, all this time how could you not know, baby? You belong with me, you belong with me."_

Noah brought his arms out to the side, not sure how to make it any clearer as he sang, _"You belong with me_." He got down in front of Kurt again and asked, _"Have you ever thought just maybe you belong with me?"_ He took Kurt's hands and quietly finished, _"You belong with me."_

As the last chord faded out, the room was full of silence. Everyone seemed to be waiting at the edge of their chairs for what was going to happen.

Kurt could feel that pressure sitting squarely on his chest. He needed time to think, to analyze how he felt, to decide what to do…he couldn't do that with everyone staring at him. "Noah…" Kurt whispered quietly, his voice barely there, as if it was squeezed out of his lungs. He looked back at everyone and felt that pressure built until he was standing up.

Noah immediately followed suit. Kurt ran a hand through his hair and looked up at Noah with wide, anxious eyes. " _Please_ ," Kurt said quietly. "I just…I need to think…I…" Kurt felt everyone's eyes on him, which was making it impossible to speak in this intimate situation. He always thought he'd want to be wooed by a song, but he realized when it was a surprise, it wasn't all that fun. He swallowed and whispered, "I've gotta go."

"Kurt…" Noah started. But Kurt brought his head down and walked past Noah, bumping against his shoulder. He kept on going, slowly picking up speed until he was running out of the choir room and down the hall. Running away from his answer, from the moment that was going to change his life, from his best friend…

A second later, Finn suddenly stood up. "Sorry," Finn said as everyone looked at him. "Kurt's my ride…" He got out of his seat and stepped onto the floor. He gave Noah a pat on the shoulder and then ran after Kurt.

Noah watched him go before looking up at the ceiling, trying his hardest not to tear up. How could he be so stupid?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for the kind words and the support! I hope to have a new chapter up soon. And I promise, good things are coming!


	31. Will and Grace vs The Partridge Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah made his feelings known, and now it’s time for Kurt to think and Noah to wait...or not. Kurt refuses to be compared to Bella Swan or to either of the titular characters in Will and Grace. And maybe the Partridge Family is better than he expected.

After what seemed like an eternity, Santana stepped forward towards Puck. Showing a rare sign of public empathy, she hugged him, her high heels just barely making it possible for her rest her chin on his shoulder. "Hey, you did great out there," she whispered. She pulled back and moved his chin so he'd look her in the eye. "He just needs some time, like he said. Give him some space and it'll work out just fine."

Mercedes came up beside her and nodded. "Yeah. He's going to turn around. Don't worry." Tina nodded from Mercedes' side in agreement.

Rachel walked up next to him and moved him to an empty chair. Puck looked up at all of the girls' faces, all filled with such kindness, and it just made his eyes burn even more. He slumped down in his seat, well aware that Mr. Schue was awkwardly watching and every guy, besides Kurt and Finn, was still there as well.

"Guys…I really don't want to talk about this right now," Noah said quietly, afraid that if he talked too loudly that he'd get emotional.

"Too bad," Santana said, sitting down next to him.

Noah shot an uncomfortable look towards their teacher and Mercedes seemed to take the hint. "Hey, Mr. Schue, mind if we have a kids only moment?" Mr. Schue nodded a bit too eagerly and stood up. After a moment of hesitation, he gave Noah a comforting squeeze on the shoulder before leaving the room with a quick goodbye.

Noah's posture instantly relaxed, though he leaned forward and put his head in his hands. " _God_ I'm an idiot," he said, running his hands through his hair. "He just had his first Mother's Day with a stepmom and finals are next week…" Noah shook his head and then pushed the heel of his palms into his forehead. "I'm such an _idiot_." Not only was it a stressful time of year for Kurt, but there was no way Kurt could ever feel the same way about him and he should've known that from the start.

"You're not an idiot," Santana said. "And I'm proud of you for what you did, okay? We all are."

Noah let out a snort, sure that Santana was just messing with him. But when he looked around, all the other gleeks were nodding and looking at him with sympathetic smiles. It was kind of weird; he never had a whole group of people actually feel pride about _him_. Not since he gave his _bar mitzvah_ successfully. "Um…thanks," he finally said. "…I'm not sure how to feel about that."

"Then you probably don't wanna know that we've had regular calls and group texts about when you two were going to bang," Artie said.

Puck gave a startled look towards his friend. "Really?"

Artie shrugged. "Started last year. Every time we tried to push a bit, something would happen; we figured it was just best to watch. And sometimes discuss the matter at hand." Noah looked around the room and everyone, even his exes, were all nodding.

"God," he said, a slight laugh escaping with the word, "I knew you guys all suspected, but I didn't know you were like… _rooting_ for it. Actively."

"It's hard not to root for something obvious," Lauren said with a shrug. She stood up and said, "I gotta go…" After a moment she smiled and added, "Good luck, Puckerman."

Puck appreciated the support. He realized now why she didn't push them farther, but he was glad to see that they seemed to at least still be friends. "Thanks, Zizes," he said, bumping her fist with his own before she left.

"When did you guys figure this out?" Noah asked curiously.

Everyone seemed to have an answer, enough so it was hard to pick out all the responses as they talked at once.

"When you dated Rachel," Artie answered.

"When we tried to date," came from Quinn.

"When you got out of Juvie," Sam shrugged.

"When I fucked you with my strap-on and you called out his name," Santana said simply.

Everyone stared at her and Noah sent her a glare. "Really? Was that necessary?"

Santana just smirked. "Someone's gotta have a story to spice up your wedding."

Puck was still a bit red from embarrassment, but he did his best to shake it off. "I wouldn't plan on a wedding yet. You saw his face."

"Like we said, he just needs time," Santana said.

"Yeah. You just surprised him; it's hard to respond to something like that on the spot," Tina agreed.

Still, Noah didn't look convinced. Rachel frowned and then brightened from an idea, "Want to come over to my place? I'm sure my dads won't mind if you spend the night! Kurt does all the time!"

Puck took a deep breath before looking at Rachel. "Rach. I like Kurt, but I am _not_ Kurt. You can't use that to help." He slept over at Kurt's place, but that was it; being a part of some girls' night with Rachel sounded awful, especially in his current state.

After another moment, she suggested, "Do you want to kick a chair like Finn does?"

He snorted at the idea. "Nah. Thanks, though."

Still, after everyone started to leave, Noah picked up his backpack and guitar and looked around to make sure no one was watching him. He kicked up his leg and used it to push over a nearby chair. Then, without another word, he left.

Noah had to admit that Finn might've had something there.

—

When Finn finally made it to the parking lot, he was relieved to find his stepbrother sitting in his car. Well, he was relieved he was still there, but he definitely wasn't too pleased seeing him with his head against the steering wheel.

The door was still unlocked, so Finn climbed into the Navigator and slowly closed the door as he looked over at Kurt. They stayed in silence for a long while; Finn would've bought that Kurt was asleep if he the tension wasn't so heavy in the car.

"How is he?" Kurt finally said from behind the wheel.

Finn hesitated. "I left pretty soon after you; I thought you might leave without me," he explained quietly. After a small pause, Finn admitted, "He looked upset."

Kurt lifted his head and bit his lips, leaning his head back against his seat. Finn could see that he was tired and stressed and was definitely blinking back some tears. He knew Kurt wouldn't want to really hurt his best friend; while Kurt could hide it well, he truly didn't like to hurt people, especially not Puck. He just wished he could help him feel better in some way.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Finn asked quietly.

Kurt shook his head and quickly wiped his eyes. "No," Kurt said, his voice a little wet, "Not now." He shook his head again and sat up straight before starting the car. Finn buckled his seat belt and Kurt adjusted his mirrors and carefully pulled out of the mostly empty parking lot.

The two sat in silence for most of the ride back. Finn was too afraid to say something and Kurt was obviously thinking at a mile a minute about what all had happened. It wasn't until Kurt turned into their neighborhood that he finally spoke.

"Please don't tell our parents about this," Kurt said softly. Now he didn't like to admit that stuff out loud, but Finn loved when Kurt referred to them as _our parents_. He liked being part of a family. He _loved_ it, really, and he normally ended up smiling a bit at just those two words. But this time, his eyebrows pressed together in confusion.

"I wouldn't," Finn replied.

"I know, I just…I wanted to make sure," Kurt said, still staring at the road ahead of him. His dad was most likely going to notice something was wrong, and Kurt didn't want his dad to turn to Finn for answers when he wasn't satisfied with Kurt's. Kurt wasn't sure if he was going to tell them what happened or not, but if he did, he wanted it on his own terms.

When they pulled into the garage and parked, Finn immediately reached for the door, but Kurt lightly touched his arm and Finn paused and looked back at him. Kurt looked over at Finn and smiled a tiny smile. "Thanks, Finn."

Finn smiled back, "No problem, Kurt."

—

Kurt was not one to take long, hot showers. Ever since he started reading his mom's magazines as a kid, skimming articles between the glossy photos, he knew hot water dried skin out. His own sensitive, pale skin was easily susceptible to dryness, hence his impressive collection of moisturizers. So he tended to stick to shorter showers at a lukewarm temperature, with the occasional warm enough bath when he needed a good soak.

However, Kurt was having an emotionally confusing day. After spending dinner assuring his dad and Carole that he was just stressed about finals, he went up to his room and spent a long time under a hot spray. His skin started getting a bit pink, but it also felt really nice.

As he washed his hair and exfoliated his body, he thought over the whole situation. So, Noah was in love with him. And he had just offered his heart to him…and Kurt crushed it by walking out on him.

Not a fun situation.

But Kurt couldn't just answer right away! Noah had to know that, right? Noah knew Kurt thought things through, over-analyzed, and picked apart his decisions. Yeah, he made rash decisions at times, everyone did, but Kurt was the one who thought things through, who questioned if Noah should really try that milk gallon challenge. Noah was the one who just took the gallon of milk and tried to chug it before throwing up in front of everyone.

In a way, that was what made them perfect as friends. Kurt made Noah stop and think and Noah made Kurt take more chances. Hell, Kurt would never have dated Blaine if Noah hadn't inspired him to seize the day. And they both knew that even if they were left throwing up milk in a garbage can, the other one would be there to pat their back throughout the process.

That's how they worked as friends, but would that dynamic work as _boyfriends_? Kurt thought about his favorite love stories: Ron and Hermione, Cher and Josh, Lady and Tramp…all of them were opposites. Ron made Hermione live in the moment while Hermione made Ron think; Cher made Josh loosen up while Josh made Cher push herself to be a better person; and, okay, maybe _Lady and the Tramp_ wasn't the most developed example, but it was one of Kurt's favorite movies as a kid.

So, yes, their dynamic would possibly work as a romance…but romantic comedies and novels all revolved around that idea of opposites attract. Did it really mean anything to him and Noah? What really mattered was how they felt, of course, not some tropes from movies and books. Noah had made his feelings obvious, but Kurt…Kurt wasn't sure about his own.

He tried to reason with himself. Okay, was he attracted to Noah? That seemed important for a romantic relationship and that was pretty easy to tell. He definitely found Noah attractive, but he wasn't attracted to him…

Except Kurt remembered that kiss they shared. He had tried blocking it out so they could go back to normal, but the memory had popped into his head several times since then. Kurt remembered it clearly, even if he had been drunk at the time. His lips tingled as he thought of how Noah's had felt against his. _Electric_. Noah's skin was so warm and surprisingly soft. Noah's hands felt so good against his lower back. If he thought hard enough, he could imagine Noah's hands going down a little further—

Okay, maybe he was attracted to him. He was at least aroused by his kisses. It was possible he just liked it because he was drunk, but if that was the case, why had he thought about losing his virginity to him before? Kurt had figured it was because they were close friends and he trusted him. That was a part of it, of course it was, but he had to at least be somewhat attracted to even think of that. And as Kurt finally stepped out of the shower, his bathroom mirror fogged over, he remembered April's little gift, what thoughts that brought about, thoughts that made him hide those magazines and push away his attraction for men until he was afraid to even masturbate or make out with Blaine for too long.

It all added up and Kurt couldn't deny it as much as he wanted to. He was definitely attracted to Noah.

Kurt pulled out a heavy lotion to help repair the damage he just did on his skin. As he slathered it on, he thought about the issue some more. He obviously cared about Puck. That wasn't even a question. He got jealous when he spent time with his girlfriends of the past. No one made him feel more at ease or made him laugh when he needed it. Kurt knew no one like he knew Noah.

But that was just friend stuff. Both he and Mercedes got annoyed when Rachel blew them off for Finn in the past. Mercedes and Tina made him laugh like crazy when they went on shopping trips. And, hell, wasn't half the fun of falling in love supposed to be in finding out more about the other person?

Wouldn't that imply that he had been in love with Noah for years?

Kurt looked into the mirror with wide eyes. He shook his head and headed over to his vanity, quickly applying on moisturizer to avoid thinking about it. That wasn't it.

Even if they _were_ in love, why would they want to date? That could lead to all kinds of messes. Ross and Rachel kind of messes. _Finn_ and Rachel kind of messes.

That was the true issue at hand in Kurt's mind. It was why he avoided Noah after the Nationals performance; it was why he sat next to Finn on the plane; it was why he left Noah in the middle of the choir room just a few hours earlier.

For so long, he thought the two of them had an unconditional love. They were Kurt and Noah, Noah and Kurt! They were best friends through thick and thin. But when Noah left him in that dumpster just a year earlier, all of that hope crashed down around him.

True, they made up and were stronger than ever, a lot more honest and open to the point that Noah had just poured his heart out to him in front of everyone. But the months without his best friend were the worst thing Kurt had gone through; at least when his mom died, Noah was by his side. If they dated and they broke up…

Kurt put his head in his hands. He was at a complete loss. He had no idea how he felt and he had no idea what he was supposed to do. Kurt needed someone to talk to, someone who could help him organize the thoughts that were buzzing in his brain.

His phone had been vibrating with texts from other glee club members, mainly Mercedes and Rachel, all offering to lend an ear or "buy him a mocha", as if Kurt didn't know why they wanted to hang out. Kurt loved them and appreciated the offers, but he ignored them all. He couldn't talk to them. Not now. Not ever. They were biased on the situation; Kurt had seen them smiling along as Noah sang. He wasn't blind. He knew what they thought.

Finn was the same way. As sweet as he was, it was obvious that Finn didn't quite grasp what was happening and why Kurt had freaked out in the first place. Kurt didn't blame him; he didn't quite grasp it, either. He briefly entertained the thought of Blaine, but Kurt knew that would be a mistake. Blaine wasn't any more experienced than him in relationships and his past jealousy of Noah wasn't going to help things, either.

He needed someone who had truly been in love. A lasting love. Someone who could just listen to him and offer him advice. Someone who just wanted Kurt to be happy and hadn't seen Kurt break Noah's heart.

He needed a mom.

—

Fifteen minutes later, a fully moisturized Kurt was shuffling into the living room in sweats and one of his dad's old T-shirts, his hair still wet against his forehead. This was weird in and of itself; Kurt normally saved sweats for his room or when he was sick, and wore fancy pajama sets everywhere else in the house. However, at that moment, he was just too tired to even think about the state of his clothes.

_Yikes._

His dad and Finn were watching some baseball game; Kurt didn't bother to find out who was playing whom. His dad was in his chair and Finn was sitting on the floor in eager excitement. Kurt sat down next to Carole on the couch as she read the newest issue of _People_ magazine.

Kurt waited silently, not wanting to interrupt her reading. Fridays often went like this, the four of them in the living room. Sometimes they'd all play some game or choose some movie to watch with popcorn and chopped veggies and fruits. Usually, though, it involved Burt and Finn bonding over some sport while Kurt and Carole shared magazines, Noah often bouncing between both groups. Carole had started to dog-ear articles she thought Kurt would like most. She was usually right.

After a few minutes, she closed the magazine and looked over at Kurt. She seemed to notice the unusualness of his clothing choices, but didn't say anything about it. "Want to give it a look? It's no _Sexiest Man_ issue, but there's some good stuff in it."

"Thanks," Kurt said quietly. He took the magazine but just looked at it in his hands. He wasn't sure what to say since, well, he never did anything like this. Not only was his situation new enough to frighten him, but having no experience with asking Carole or really _any_ maternal figure for advice like this on the spot was extremely anxiety inducing.

Carole, of course, seemed to have it covered. "Are you okay, sweetie?" she asked softly, lightly pushing back his bangs, just like his mom used to, and placing the back of her hand on his forehead. "You look pretty pale—do you have a fever?"

Kurt shook his head, even if he kind of felt like he did with how fast his brain had been running throughout the last few hours. "No," he said. Slowly, he managed to quietly ask, "I was wondering…I thought…could we…could we talk?" Kurt looked up at her and then over at his dad and Finn, who either hadn't noticed or pretended not to be listening; either way, he was grateful. " _Alone_?"

Without any hesitation, Carole said, "Of course." She smiled kindly and joked, "I could use an excuse to get away from this as well; I'm starting to agree with you on stirrup pants." Kurt smiled faintly at her and followed her up to her to the master bedroom.

Carole sat down on her side of the bed and Kurt went on his dad's side. He sat and looked at his lap for a while, trying to figure out what to say. He looked over at her, but she just sat patiently, not forcing him to say anything. Kurt wished it was as easy to talk about this stuff as it was to giggle over Colin Firth or for Kurt to go through Carole's wardrobe and pick out offending items.

"I've never done this before," Kurt finally blurted out. "I mean…my mom and I talked all the time. We were really close. But…I just…I never really asked for her advice on stuff like this. I wasn't old enough to have these kinds of things to think about."

Carole nodded. When Kurt hesitated, Carole gently said, "Kurt, you can ask me anything." Kurt bit his lip and Carole asked, "Is it boy trouble?" Slowly, Kurt nodded. She gave him a knowing smile; while Burt had grown much more comfortable with the idea of Kurt dating other boys after Kurt dated Blaine, he wasn't someone who anyone would turn to first in a dating crisis. "Well, I know a lot about that."

Kurt looked back up at her and asked, "How do you know if you're in love?"

Carole relaxed against the pillows behind her, since she had a feeling this was going to be a long talk. "You know, when I was your age, I was confused over that, too. Every romance out there talks about how you'll just _know_ or about passion and attraction."

Kurt scooted a bit closer in interest, the pile of pillows on the bed pressing against the side. "It's not that, though," Carole said. "That stuff is great, and it often comes with love, but that's not what feeling in love is really like." She looked over at Kurt and smiled, "I knew I was in love with your father when the world was quiet with him."

"W-what do you mean?"

Carole shook her head. "It's hard to explain, but when I'm with your father…I feel a sense of calm I don't have otherwise. Real love isn't about passionate embraces and drama and feeling lost without someone. Yes, that can happen, but a lasting love…It's someone who can make your world quiet when you can't stand still. Butterflies and all of that, that's infatuation. Real love is happiness and peacefulness and someone who makes the hardest things bearable. Someone who can make you laugh when you feel your worst. Someone who's the yin to your yang."

Kurt looked off to the side thoughtfully. After a few moments, Carole put an arm around him. "Can I ask why you're asking?"

And just like that, everything burst out of Kurt like water through a poorly designed dam. Maybe it was just someone asking for the full story, maybe it was someone pulling him close for comfort, he wasn't sure, but before he knew it, he was telling her everything. He told her about the kiss after prom, the song in New York, Taylor Swift in the choir room, all while she stroked his back and waited patiently for him to finish.

"And I just left him there," he said, his voice pained and tears starting to work their way out of his eyes. "I just left him alone. I didn't know what to say and-and I know I hurt him. But I just don't know what to do. He did something he's not at all comfortable doing and I just _left_ him there. I didn't mean to hurt him, I swear."

"Oh, sweetie," Carole cooed softly, pulling Kurt even closer to her chest. "It's a confusing situation to be in, honey, of _course_ you couldn't respond right away. You need time to figure out how you feel—Noah knows that. He knows that you didn't want to hurt him; anyone who knows you two at all knows you would never hurt him on purpose."

Kurt slowly nodded against her chest, still sniffing a bit as she lightly ran her fingers through his hair. "What do I do now?" Kurt finally asked in a muffled voice. He pulled back to look at her, "I don't know where to start."

Carole gave him a small smile. "Well…do you feel the same way back?"

"I don't know," Kurt admitted. "I don't know how I feel at all. And right now the idea of even feeling calm around _anyone_ seems impossible."

Carole let out a small breath of laughter. "I understand." Kurt laid down and looked up at the ceiling. Carole watched for a few moments before saying, "I guess some soul searching is in order."

"But if I _do_ feel the same…why should we act on it?" Kurt asked.

"What do you mean?"

Kurt closed his eyes for a few moments. "I don't want to lose him again," he finally said quietly. When he opened his eyes, there were a few fresh tears there. "I barely survived the first time; I don't want to lose my best friend all over again because of…of _hormones_."

Playing with the hem of his shirt, Kurt continued, "I remember his dad. I remember him well. I don't bring him up, but of course I remember him." His hands momentarily balled up into fists at the thought of that man, but he relaxed them with a deep breath. "I remember how crushed Mama Mae was when he left and…Noah tried to hide it, tried to be the man of the house, but he was so hurt and confused and upset…"

He shook his head. "I've seen him after break ups. It's the same thing; he acts like he's not hurt, but I know everyone—Santana, Quinn, Lauren, everyone—they all hurt him. And if we get together…I don't want to be the one to do that to him. I'm supposed to pick up the pieces; what happens if I'm the one who does the breaking?" Kurt started blinking rapidly before quietly, brokenly asking, "What if he does it to me?"

"Sweetie…"

"I know neither of us are like his dad, but I know how much it hurt him and I know he would've gone in a completely different direction if it wasn't for me. I remember the times he came back and how Noah would get so hopeful, only to be crushed again, and I was always there. Mama Mae couldn't handle doing that, Sara's too young, it's my responsibility and I can't let him down. And what if we break up and lose each other? Can you really be friends after breaking up?" He looked over at Carole, though he wasn't sure what he wanted her answer to be.

Surprisingly, Carole was giving him a smile she normally directed at Finn or Burt. "Kurt, I hate to say this, but you're not being very smart right now." As Kurt raised his eyebrows, she wrapped an arm around him again. "Honey, you and Noah have been through more than most friendships ever endure. Your mom, his dad, even your own friendship falling apart. Do you really think you couldn't survive breaking up if you date?" Kurt shrugged meekly and she shook her head.

"I know it's scary. Having these feelings for a friend—if you really have them—is terrifying. But hiding those feelings away because of what could go wrong won't help you _or_ Noah." Kurt didn't look convinced, so Carole added, "And who knows if you'll break up?"

Kurt hadn't really thought of that. He looked over at her and then back at the ceiling. His future always had Noah in it every time he imagined it, right down to the best man position at his (eventually legal) wedding to the adoption of his first child. Could Noah be the groom and other father instead?

"I can't tell you what you feel as much as I wish I could," Carole said. "But I do know that the two of you have something special, no matter what it is, and that's not going to go away even if you start dating."

Kurt was silent for a small moment before nodding. He had a lot to think about, but Carole really helped. "Thanks," he said quietly, adjusting his position so he could look at her.

"Any time," she replied. The two smiled at each other before Carole pulled him into another hug which he gladly reciprocated.

Before they could even pull apart, the door opened and Burt came in. "Oh, sorry, didn't realize you two were…" Burt trailed off as he saw Kurt pull away from Carole and wipe his eyes. "Kurt, what's wrong?" he asked immediately, his papa bear senses going into overdrive.

"It's nothing, dad, don't worry about it. Carole helped me," Kurt said. His father didn't look convinced, so Kurt added, "It's just…boy problems."

Burt looked him over until _boy problems_ seemed to register in his head. "Oh," he said, his body relaxing a little bit as he realized Kurt wasn't in physical harm. He took off his hat to scratch his head and asked, "You know you can come to me if you need, you know, a male point of view. Well, another male point of view besides your own."

"I know."

"Though I'm glad Carole could help," Burt added quickly. Kurt smiled at how hard his dad was trying. He knew emotions really weren't his thing.

"I know, dad. Thank you." Burt looked down sheepishly at his feet for a few moments. Kurt watched him for a little while before he asked, "Dad? How did…how did you and mom get together?"

Burt gave a concerned look to Kurt and then one to Carole. They both had obviously lost a spouse before and they knew the stories, but it wasn't something they talked about often in front of each other. After Carole just gave him a reassuring nod, Burt sat down on the bed, Kurt sandwiched between his two parents.

"Your mom and I met in high school," he said. He corrected himself, "Actually, we probably met before that, we just didn't _really_ meet until high school. A mutual friend introduced us at a party. She was a year younger than me; she was really into art and I was really into football, so we never had a reason to meet. I don't think anyone really expected us to get along."

After a small sigh, Burt admitted, "I definitely didn't see it coming. But one day I just realized that I liked her. This was after months of friendship, mind you, so by that time, all of our friends kind of expected it, too. I asked her out and she said no." Burt laughed and continued, "Eventually she agreed on a date to homecoming, and before we knew it…we were in love.

"You know the rest. I went to the JC, she went to University of Lima, I took over the family business, and she started to teach. Then you came along and, well, that was that," Burt said, giving Kurt a bittersweet smile. Kurt looked so much like her and had inherited so much from her, more than Kurt probably even realized.

"So…you were friends first," Kurt said slowly.

Burt nodded. Carole agreed she was friends with Christopher first, too. Kurt nodded, trying to process all of that information.

"Why didn't mom want to date you right away? Did she not like you?" Kurt asked. It was hard to imagine his strong mother just caving to date his dad because he asked her a few times.

"Nah, she admitted she liked me as well," Burt said. "Your mom was just a lot like you; always worried about the future. She was worried we'd break up and stop being friends."

Kurt let out a strangled, choked off laugh in shock and shook his head. "Oh my god," he muttered, putting his head in his hands.

Burt looked over at Carole, who didn't say anything, but instead rubbed a comforting hand on Kurt's back and made a small noise of sympathy. Burt then looked down at his son as Kurt looked back up and then back down at his lap. No one said anything for a few seconds, until Burt finally braved a question. "Is this…can I guess…is this something to do with Noah, then?"

Kurt peered back up at his father with a thoughtful look, slightly confused, enough so that Burt was worried he had pushed something that hadn't happened. "Yeah," Kurt said after a split second. "Yeah, it is."

After a small look at Carole, Burt looked back at his son. "He told you he liked you….and you don't know what to do?" Burt guessed as he looked at Kurt.

Kurt looked surprised at that. "Yeah. He sang a song in Glee club today about it—how did—" Kurt cut himself off and shook his head. He wasn't sure he wanted to know why his dad knew Noah liked him; it was bad enough seeing all of their friends looking _relieved_ at Noah's performance. "I guess I'm more like mom than I thought, huh?" Kurt said, wiping briefly at his nose as he smiled ruefully.

"You don't know the half of it, kid," Burt said, wrapping an arm around Kurt. Kurt easily rested his head against his dad's shoulder, closing his eyes for a few moments as things started to finally feel calm at least a littler calmer.

"I just don't want to hurt him," Kurt said quietly. It was one sentence, but it packed a lot of meaning for him. Kurt didn't want to hurt Noah any more than he already had, any more than how the world had hurt him just by making him a Puckerman. He didn't want Noah to be hurt if Kurt wasn't interested, and he didn't want to hurt Noah by losing interest in the future, or realizing they worked better as friends. And what if Noah realized he could do better? What if he stuck with Kurt when he could easily have a beautiful wife and 2.5 kids and a normal life, something Kurt couldn't give him? Kurt knew being with a man was a risk, and he had seen all the ways people looked at him and Blaine in public; why would Noah choose that life when he actually liked girls?

What if Noah hurt himself by staying with Kurt because he was his friend, not because he still loved him in that way? It may have seemed farfetched, but Kurt wasn't sure they should take that chance.

"I know you don't," Burt said quietly as Carole put her arm back around Kurt. Kurt looked over at her and gave her a small smile and Burt sighed as he pushed back some hair that had fallen on his son's face.

Burt would be the first person to admit that Kurt could be brat. Of course he could; he was human and a teenager at that. Despite being mature for his age his whole life, he still had his moments. And even with that in mind, Kurt had the biggest heart Burt ever had seen, just as big as his mom's, maybe even bigger. He had been hurt so much by life, by the people around him, by his own family, and so much of it was just for how he was born. Burt couldn't deny that it took him much longer to stop trying to force this concept of straight male things on Kurt than he wished he did. He always loved him, of course, but he spent so much time when Kurt was younger, trying to make Kurt into something else.

Yet Kurt was constantly thinking of others. He never even thought of needing to properly forgive his dad. He never questioned forgiving Noah after they made up. And Burt didn't know the whole story, but he knew his son felt awful about how things ended with Blaine. Kurt could whine like no other, but then turn around and offer up the sweetest smile and thoughtful, caring questions.

He shook his head. "You're too nice, kiddo," Burt said with a small smile. "Sometimes you have to be selfish, though. And this is one of those times." Kurt frowned and Burt explained, "You can't think about how this will effect Noah. You have to think about what _you_ want, what you _feel_. Not about the future or what this could lead to or what anyone else wants. This is about your feelings. Okay?"

Kurt looked at his dad as he bit his lip. Slowly, Kurt started to nod and Burt nodded back. "Okay," Kurt said softly. He pulled his head off of Burt's shoulder. "So, love is about feeling calm with someone, and I need to think about what _I_ feel." Kurt nodded, still looking apprehensive. "Okay. Any other tips? Should I bring Finn in on this?" Kurt asked, a bit of his dry sense of humor peeking out.

"Huh?" Kurt looked to the door to see that Finn had been walking by. Kurt let out a small laugh at the coincidence as Burt and Carole remained silent. They wanted Kurt to make the decision to include Finn or not.

"Just talking about the whole situation…" Kurt picked at a nonexistent piece of lint on his sweatpants, "…with Noah."

Finn's eyes grew a bit larger as he looked at his family. "I swear I didn't tell them," he said without any thought.

"I know, Finn; I told them," Kurt said with a small sigh. "Well, I told Carole. Dad guessed."

Finn took a few steps into the room with a slightly raised eyebrow. "He guessed that you and Puck made out after prom?"

Kurt turned bright red while Carole put a hand to her mouth to suppress a giggle and Burt's eyes widened and then narrowed. "…No, I meant he guessed Noah told me about his _feelings_ ," Kurt said through a tight jaw.

"So you kissed him and you still don't know how you feel?" Burt asked.

"I was not in my right mind," Kurt said before putting his hand up to stop his dad's next question, "And I do not wish to discuss it further." He didn't need his dad to know that he had gotten completely wasted post-prom.

Finn sat down at the edge of the bed and offered up an apologetic smile. "Sorry for that, dude."

"It's fine," Kurt said with a dismissing wave of his hand. "Thanks for the apology, though. And for not telling them what happened." He smiled softly at Finn and asked, "So, do you have any big brother-y advice for me?"

"I'm younger than you," Finn pointed out with a grin. Kurt was normally the one who pointed that out.

"I know," Kurt said, well aware that Finn normally said that to him. He sighed after a moment and said, "But seeing as I don't know what's happening and I've only dated one person, maybe you have some words of wisdom on this subject that I don't."

Finn looked at his parents and then shrugged. "I say go for it," he said. At Kurt's eye roll, Finn insisted, "I'm serious!" He looked at their parents again and then back at his brother. "Look, you guys are good as friends; I don't get why that wouldn't work as boyfriends or whatever. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. You guys always find ways to get back together, so why not?"

Kurt shook his head. "Thanks. Not quite the advice I was looking for, but thanks," Kurt said. He wasn't one who liked being told what to do; he still liked making decisions himself. But, in all honesty, he also knew he wasn't going to discount what Finn had said.

After a moment of thought, Kurt wiped under his eyes and pushed his still wet hair back. "Well. I have a lot to think about. But thank you all." He gave them a weak but genuine smile before grabbing the _People_ magazine that had been pushed behind him. Wanting to get the subject off of him and his love life, Kurt eagerly opened the magazine to one of the pages Carole had bookmarked for him.

"Oh, Taylor Lautner," Kurt gasped out at the sight of set pictures of Taylor as Jacob in the first _Breaking Dawn_ installment. "You know me so well," Kurt grinned at Carole, giving her a nudge. With a sigh he lamented, "I cannot believe we have to wait for November to see him on the big screen again."

Burt, recognizing that his son wanted to change subjects, pointed at the picture of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison on set and asked, "Doesn't she get with that guy?" He had watched the first three movies when Kurt and Carole had a marathon, but he still didn't quite get the storyline.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yes, father, because she's an idiot. Bella thinks someone stalking her is romantic and she wants to be a vampire because, again, she's an idiot. Edward's rich, yes, and Jacob is troubled, sure, and doesn't have the best home situation, unlike the Cullens. Regardless, she _should_ be with her tall, dark, and handsome long time best friend with abs and muscles to die for."

Kurt made a small triumphant noise and looked back down at his magazine. Of course, the rest of his family avoided making eye contact until, slowly, realization made its way to Kurt's face. "Oh my god," he said, putting his head in his hands.

"You're Bella Swan," Finn snickered.

That made Kurt whip his head back up. With a glare, Kurt brought up the magazine and slapped Finn on the arm. "Do! Not! Call! Me! Bella!" Even after a couple more light smacks, Finn was still laughing. Carole couldn't help but let out a few giggles and soon Burt was joining in, too. Kurt rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, but eventually gave in with a small smile.

—

Normally, Noah spent Fridays at Kurt's house. His mom rarely had to work Fridays, so the Puckermans would all go to temple together, always picking up Mae's mom on the way there. Then Noah would head over to Kurt's house, eagerly jumping in for family dinners or board games or whatever until they went to Kurt's room for a movie. Sometimes Noah would skip the Friday night service and go on Saturday morning with his nana instead, but without fail, he was at Kurt's house on Friday nights. Noah wasn't one for routines, but he loved that one.

Of course, after the mess he made, Noah obviously stayed in that Friday night while Sara was at a friend's house. He and his mom ordered in some Chinese food and sat in front of the TV in their pajamas, but thankfully he convinced Mae that they didn't need to watch a Jewish movie since he'd seen most of her favorites a million times. He wasn't sure he could handle a viewing of _Schindler's List_ at the moment. The two settled on an old _Friends_ rerun as they ate their meals mostly in silence.

"So," Mae finally started, "Why no Kurt's tonight? You didn't get into another fight, did you?"

Noah's jaw tightened, because he honestly wasn't sure what the right answer was. He eventually settled on, "Not exactly."

Mae gave him a concerned look. "Noah…" Puck sighed and closed his eyes; he didn't like concerning his mom with this stuff since she had enough shit to deal with. Plus, if they talked all openly about this…well, Noah wasn't _out_ or anything to her, and add in the fact that Kurt was as Gentile born as they came and of course it wasn't bound to go well.

"It's nothing," Noah said, opening his eyes again. Before his mom could insist, he said, "I'm fine." Of course, Mae didn't believe a word of that, but she just made a small _hmmph_ and looked back to the TV.

The two stayed silent for some time, neither too enraptured in what was on TV or on their plates. As Noah thought about what had happened that day—what he finally did—he felt a sickening feeling in his stomach. He looked over at his mom and then back at the TV, wondering just how she would even react if Kurt said yes.

Though Mae wasn't as close to Kurt as Noah had been to Kurt's mom, they still were like mother and son. Mae fussed over him and cooked for him and gladly took him in when he needed a place to stay; hell, once Kurt spent Hanukkah with them when his dad had to go out of town. And Mae knew he was gay and never had a problem with it. She even knew he had a boyfriend for some time and would ask how the relationship was going when they made small talk.

But would Mae accept her own son dating a guy?

"Ma," Noah finally said softly. She looked over at him and he quietly asked, "You want me to marry a Jewish girl…right?"

Mae's eyes narrowed a bit in thought. "Well…if you marry a girl, she better be Jewish; you know the kids inherit the religion through their mom," she said.

It was something his mom had repeated several times, but it was only then that Noah realized an important word was thrown in there.

" _If_?" Noah asked.

She shrugged. "I always figured if you married Kurt, you'd at least raise the kids to be Jewish, even if he didn't convert. The laws don't really exist for same-sex couples, do they?" She said this so nonchalantly, like she had just been talking about the weather or something, and then simply popped a piece of chicken in her mouth as she turned back to the TV.

Noah just gaped at her. How did she just say something like that like it wasn't a big deal, like it didn't have a huge effect on his life?

Mae looked back over at Noah as he continued to gape and couldn't help but smirk at him. "What?"

"What do you mean, _what_? I should be the one _what_ -ing you!" Noah said as he indignantly waved his hand around.

"Noah, you're going to get orange chicken sauce everywhere," she said. Noah looked at the chopsticks in his hand which was dripping with the thick, sweet sauce. Noah rolled his eyes and put the chopstick back in the plate on the TV tray in front of him. "Thank you," she said, "Now you can gesture however you want."

Noah rolled his eyes and just crossed his arms. "So, are you going to explain why you know about—what you know about—me and Kurt?"

Mae sighed and put down her own chopsticks as well. "I don't know what all you want me to say," she said simply. "One day, I just thought of you and Kurt as best friends. Then, the next, it was like a piece of wool had been removed from my eyes. I mean, I always knew he was gay—obviously—but I never thought of you two together. Not until a couple years back."

Mae looked over at her son with a small smile. "How much do you remember of Kate?"

Noah looked down in thought before looking back at his mom. "Not a whole lot," he admitted. True, he had some strong memories involving her—reading _Harry Potter_ , getting tucked in at sleepovers, the amazing waffles she made—but so much of it was filtered through a child's gaze and he wasn't sure how accurate it was. He could remember how she looked and how kind she was, but so many details had been lost over the years, and so many memories were clouded with what he had been doing with Kurt at the time, not what Mama Kate was like.

"Of course. You were so young when all that happened; I'm sure Kurt doesn't remember as much as he wants," she said with a thoughtful nod. "But there was this way Burt looked at her, this way that just showed how much he loved her—I wouldn't have been surprised if he never tried to move on from her, he was always so in love…" Mae sighed and continued, "One day I just saw you look at Kurt that same way."

Puck was silent as he thought over it. A love like Mama Kate and Burt? He never really thought of it before, but he always loved their relationship, so being compared to that? That was…a lot to take in. Of course, Noah just always liked their relationship because it was so different from the toxic one his own parents had, so maybe it wasn't as big of a deal as he thought. Still, his stomach kind of warmed at the idea.

"You know he looks at you the same way," Mae said, smiling sympathetically as Noah looked back to her. "He looks so much like her—it's almost like looking at a photo of her back in the day, just with a slightly different haircut."

That finally made Puck let out a small laugh. Mama Kate wore it short for years, not _too_ far from Kurt's current length, but that and their eyes were about the only differences as far as looks went. While you could tell Burt and Kurt were related, Kurt really looked like a male version of his mom.

"Yeah…well, you may think he looks at me like that, but I don't think he feels the same way," Noah admitted. He never really talked to his mom so openly; it was kind of scary and weird, but he also really wanted someone to help in any way possible. "I sang for him today. At glee club," Noah said softly. "And he left…said he needed time. Whatever that means." Noah glumly looked back at his food and stabbed a piece of chicken rather violently and brought it to his mouth.

Mae looked over at her son as he ate, obviously waiting for some sort of reply from his mom. To be honest, though, Mae wasn't sure what to say; her own romantic life was far from perfect. It wasn't like she could bring in advice when her own marriage ended in tears and divorce papers and fights over the years about some waitress asking for child support.

If it wasn't for the Hummels being in her life, she really wasn't sure if she'd have made it through. Sometimes she still felt like a shell of a person, only working and working and working and trying to instill her kids with some Jewish faith, sometimes with too heavy of a brush. She'd never kid herself into thinking she was an amazing mother, but she shuddered to think of what kind of mom she'd be if she didn't have Burt's constant support over the years. Burt always had a job open for Noah and a home for Noah to run to when he needed space. Burt provided Sara with the best father figure anyone could grow up with, and thank the Lord above she probably couldn't even pick out her birth father from a line up, despite the fact Elijah had come back a couple of times. Burt was there while Mae was in a funk and then, very gently, pushed her out of that funk when it had gone on long enough. Yes, she owed so much to Burt Hummel, the man that kept her going and helped provide stability to her own fractured and fragile life.

Hell, just having Kurt in their lives had provided a lot. She saw her son, her sweet boy, without Kurt and it was not a look she liked. Cold-hearted, intentionally rude, ill-tempered…no, she did not like that at all. Noah was naturally a sweet and fun kid and always had been, but after everything he went through, he truly needed someone like Kurt, someone to help him remember the good in the world.

And Kurt without Noah? Well, she saw him around town once or twice during that time but knew better than to say hi to him. Even if she had the ability to greet him, that usual sweet, welcome air around him had been cold and bitter, angry and spiteful. No, Kurt wasn't Kurt without her son.

She loved both of them, both her son by birth and her son by relationship to Noah. She loved them separately and all that they brought to the world, but they were even better together. Her and Elijah together? Messy and broken and toxic. But her two boys? They were definitely better than the sum of their parts.

Finally, Mae let out a soft sigh. "You know how Kurt is," she said. Noah looked back over at her and she gave him a half-smile. "He needs to think this stuff through. Romantic as that song may have been, he needs to think it through." She took a drink of water and continued, "I don't know if he's realized how he feels—I don't even know how or when _you_ found out, honestly—but you know he's going to take some time to process it; I'm sure you didn't accept it overnight, right? But when he does…well, I can't believe that he'll say anything but yes. It might take a while, but I'm sure he'll get there."

Slowly but surely, a small, hopeful smile formed on Noah's face. "Thanks, Ma," he said quietly. He still wasn't completely convinced that he hadn't just ruined his whole friendship, but he definitely felt better that at least his mom was more than approving of the possibility of their relationship.

Mae gently ruffled his mohawk. "You're welcome, _bubbala_." Noah smiled even more and ducked his head at that. He loved when his mom pulled out those Yiddish terms of endearment.

They ate the rest of their dinner in contented silence. Once they stored the leftovers and put the TV trays away, Mae gave him a slight smirk. "You didn't sing any Avril though, did you?"

Noah rolled his eyes as his mom laughed. Was anyone ever going to give that stuff a rest?

—

Kurt, despite what some may have thought, never watched _Will and Grace_ when it still aired. Sometimes he'd see a bit of it when he flipped through channels, but the idea of actually watching it scared the crap out of him; what if people found out and assumed he was gay because of it? While he started coming to terms with it around the time the show started to end, Kurt still took two more years to finally come out to Noah, right before their freshman year officially started.

After coming out, Kurt started to watch episodes when it popped up in syndication. While a lot of it was cheesy and ridiculous, he actually liked a lot of what he saw. After all, who couldn't love Karen Walker? And through the help of some not-quite-legal sites, he managed to stream through the seasons the summer he and Noah spent apart. He had nothing better to do than binge watch while going through yet another growth spurt, anyways.

When he got to the finale, though, he felt like he had truly wasted his time. How did he watch a show that had given him so much laughter and such a great, fictional friendship, only for it to end with the titular friends not speaking for eighteen years?

Yes, they got back together in the end and yes, they had happily ever afters with their partners and their kids got together which was adorable. But really? How did years of friendship disappear like that?

Of course, that relationship seemed to just echo his own with Noah at the time. They were no longer talking, after all, and their relationship had to be stronger than one that started out as clumsily as Will and Grace's did. The idea of even a fictional friendship ending like that made his miserable summer even worse and he actually ended up crying over that freaking finale.

He hadn't thought about that finale in months, but when he finally managed to get to bed the night after Noah's revelation, Kurt was reminded of it. He dreamt of Noah and him never speaking again, of returning to their high school reunion in twenty years only for Noah to be barely recognizable, an angry look on his face as he looked at his former best friend. Kurt knew he was still hurting from what happened. Unlike both Will and Grace, they both were childless, dateless, and alone.

Despite not having memories of the last twenty years, it was so vivid of a dream that when Kurt woke up, it took a moment for him to realize it hadn't happened. He checked his phone for the date and time: 7:00 AM in May of 2011. He groaned and rubbed his eyes, well aware that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep despite how early it was.

After a small sigh, Kurt looked through his text messages, all of them from other glee club members, none from Noah…He winced at the memory of the dream and locked his phone before getting up. With a yawn and a stretch, Kurt brushed his teeth and washed his face before he grabbed his book bag and headed downstairs.

He put his book bag on the table and started to brew some coffee; he loved his nonfat mochas, but Kurt drank solely black coffee in the morning. As soon as it was ready, Kurt poured himself a mug and all but chugged it down, quickly filling up again once he was done. This time he just took a few sips and leaned back against the counter behind him. He knew he needed to go ahead and make breakfast, but he just ended up staring at the marble counter in front of him as he wondered what Noah was doing, unable to focus on anything else.

After several minutes, he finally looked up at the sound of someone coming down the stairs. Kurt gave a weak smile as his dad's frame appeared. "Hey, dad," Kurt said.

"Hey, kiddo," Burt said. "I'm not used to seeing you up so early." He, of course, knew what was most likely the cause and asked, "Couldn't sleep?"

"Bad dream," Kurt muttered. He and his dad had a lot of experience with those ever since his mom died; he was often prone to stress dreams before finals and nightmares about losing more members of his family. Part of why he kept cuddling with Noah over the years was because he almost never had those dreams when he was there. Almost.

"Wanna talk about it?" Burt asked.

Kurt shook his head. "It was stupid," he said.

His dad gave him a supportive clap on the shoulder, Kurt resting his fingers gently over his hand for a few moments before letting him go. Burt then moved to pour himself a cup of coffee and start another brew; he had a feeling Kurt would be having a lot of it.

After a few minutes, Carole came downstairs. She also offered nearly the same questions Burt did and Kurt answered in a similar manner. As great as it was getting their opinions the night before, he wasn't sure he wanted to talk about it with them anymore. Of course, since he had so little to offer besides that at the moment, he wasn't sure what he _could_ talk about with them.

"What should we do for breakfast, huh?" Carole asked in an attempt to change the subject. "Eggs? Waffles?"

Kurt wrinkled his nose and shook his head at the mention of waffles. That was Puck's favorite dish, and he loved it, too, but he didn't really want something that made him think of him right then. Too much sugar made him antsy anyways.

After a beat, Burt suggested, "How about biscuits and gravy? To help you get through your studying?"

Kurt couldn't stop himself from smiling; that was one of his all-time favorite breakfast foods. While he didn't condone emotional eating, he couldn't deny that a fluffy, buttermilk biscuit smothered in a thick gravy sounded amazing. "No sausage, though," Kurt warned, "Unless we have those turkey crumbles."

Burt rolled his eyes but agreed as he and Carole set out the ingredients. Kurt volunteered to help, but they said he should focus on studying. Which, yeah, was probably accurate. He sighed and nodded before going to the table and pulling out his supplies.

By the time the food was done, Finn had come down and Kurt had managed to do some studying for his anatomy final; he, luckily, wasn't required to take chemistry or physics, and anatomy was mainly memorizing a whole bunch of facts, which he was good at. He didn't have an English, psychology, or US history final, since both of those were classes he took the AP test in as a replacement for the final, and he never worried about French, especially since his time at Dalton made him push past what he had been learning the past month or so at McKinley. His home ec class didn't have a final, so that only really left math to study for.

_Great._

He pulled out his math notebook before grabbing a plate while the food was still hot. "This is so good," Kurt said, speaking with his mouth partly full, a true rarity from him.

"Well, thank you for the Finn-like delivery," Carole teased, which made all of them laugh.

"I think I'm rubbing off on you," Finn teased.

Before Kurt could even swallow and defend himself, Burt said, "I don't know, he's always been like that around biscuits and gravy."

Kurt nodded in agreement. Finn pointed out, "He _is_ wearing sweats outside of his room, though."

Kurt immediately fired back, "Making a fashion critique? I think someone else should worry about who's rubbing off on whom."

"What're you studying next?" Finn asked after an eye roll at Kurt's joke.

"Math," Kurt said. "But I think I need to go for a walk or something after this; this is a lot of calories. You can come if you want."

Finn rolled his eyes yet again, but he admitted, "A walk sounds good, as long as you don't slather me with sunscreen this time." Kurt stuck his tongue out at Finn; Kurt's obsession with proper skincare made him a bit mothering when it came to proper SPF protocol, especially after Noah's skin cancer scare the year before. "I could probably use some help with math, though, if you want to study together."

Kurt looked down at his plate for a moment then back up. Then he cleared his throat and painfully admitted, "I don't think we're in the same math level, though."

"Really? What class are you in?" Finn asked. He was just in college algebra since it got him a college credit and was easier than pre calc/trig. A lot of juniors were in his class, but maybe Kurt was in pre-calc; it seemed like the sort of thing he'd take since he took all those AP and honors classes.

Kurt blushed a bit and muttered, "Algebra two…"

Finn blinked. "Isn't that a sophomore level class?"

"Well…most of my classmates are sophomores, yes," Kurt said, being very careful with his words. "I had to…take the remedial math class my freshman year, so I'm kind of behind." At Finn's incredulous look, Kurt just defended himself with, "Math is hard!"

"Dude, I'm not, like, laughing at you. It's just funny since you're so… _academic_ , usually. It's nice to see you not be awesome at something," Finn said with a slight laugh.

After a moment's thought, Kurt decided to take that as a compliment. "Thank you…At least it's not until the very last day of finals for me. And I only have one other final." He took another bite of his breakfast and swallowed before quietly saying, "Noah is the one that normally helps me study for this." For years both of them had not-so-jokingly decided that Noah would be the one to help Kurt with his taxes and his budget until he was rich enough to hire an accountant, and Kurt would keep Noah on top of his laundry and other chores. That was their plan for New York, but now, with that nightmare still fresh in his head, his stomach sank.

Burt looked over at his kid then back at his wife. He wasn't sure how to respond to that; it was already awful how he looked just as despondent over what had happened as he did the year before. He wanted to point out that it wasn't like their friendship was over, but he figured that was just a bit too blunt for Kurt at the moment.

They were all silent for a bit before Finn, in an attempt to lighten the mood, simply said, "I bet Dalton's math was harder, so you're probably, like, super ready for this test."

Kurt did have to smile a bit at that. "There's some truth to that statement." He shook his head. "I just don't get imaginary numbers; I never even had an imaginary _friend_." He thought math was supposed to be practical, but what was the practicality of _i_? Once Kurt had a few more bites of his breakfast, he frowned. "I just need to pass and then I'll be done with math. I can't wait to burn that stupid graphing calculator."

Burt gave his son a look while Carole let out a small laugh. "We've discussed this, Kurt. You can't actually burn it; that's not safe."

Kurt shrugged nonchalantly. "Still going to do it."

The rest of breakfast went a lot more smoothly. Kurt actually made the effort to get dressed and do his hair afterwards and then went back down to the table to look at his math study guide.

It was hard to study off of problems he already did. Whereas studying for anatomy was a lot of flash cards and the like, this was just trying to understand these concepts, concepts that, unlike allegories and metaphors and symbolism, just didn't come naturally to him. Noah always found ways to make this understandable to him, slowly breaking down the problem and showing him his thought process. While Kurt normally thought things through before he did them, he was never particularly good at logic, not like Noah was.

He sighed and ran his hands over his face, not sure how to even approach studying for the test. For some time, he just sat there, trying to breath calmly. Kurt didn't look up until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it some more?" Burt asked. He still wasn't sure what different advice he could give than the night before, but he also knew Kurt normally just liked having someone listen to him.

"Not really." Kurt shook his head and ran his hands over his forehead. "I just wish he could've waited until a better time; I have so many other things to think about. And I don't want things to be weird on my birthday." He was turning eighteen; for years, he had given Noah crap for being younger than him by a few months, and turning legal before him was going to make it even better.

"He probably just reached his boiling point," Burt said. Kurt raised his eyebrows questioningly and Burt explained, "It's not easy holding that stuff in. Sometimes you just gotta let it out, and I think Noah just got to the point where it burst out of him. It might seem inconvenient, but…" Burt shrugged. He honestly had agreed with Finn the night before and just wanted his son to at least give it a try. He knew better than to just say that, though.

"And don't worry about your eighteenth; I'm sure things will be fine by then," Burt added. Kurt nodded, feeling a bit better. He wasn't sure how his dad managed to make him feel like those words were the absolute truth, but it was hard to _not_ believe him.

Kurt looked back at his algebra study guide and sighed. He had to remember that he and Noah were _not_ Will and Grace, even if Noah's baby drama the year before did almost create a Will and Grace style falling out. They were their own people, damn it, and he was a _lot_ cuter than Will Truman, thank you very much.

—

Despite Mae's words of comfort, Noah ended up tossing and turning for hours, which caused him to sleep in well past noon in exhaustion. He laid there for a while before finally pulling himself out of bed and going down to the kitchen to make a bowl of cereal and two Kosher hot dogs. He was still a growing boy, after all.

Noah was working on the cereal when Sara walked in, looking at her phone. A few weeks earlier, Mae got her a phone and put her on their family plan. Sara had started a lot of after school and summer activities, and between Noah and Mae's conflicting schedules, they needed access to the young girl to make sure they could find her. It was primarily for that, but Sara had definitely taken advantage of the unlimited texting plan.

"Someone's finally up," she said dryly when she finally pocketed her phone. Noah just grunted and she rolled her eyes. "Such an excellent conversationalist."

It was Noah's turn to roll his eyes. Sometimes Sara's personality was so obviously influenced by Kurt that it was slightly terrifying. "Good morning. Or afternoon. Whatever, you know what I meant," Noah said, not feeling like getting a lecture or more sass. "How was your sleepover?"

"Good," Sara answered as she joined her brother at the table. "Jade said I could spend the night again tonight as long as Ma's cool with it."

Noah nodded. It was nice seeing Sara making some friends. She had some trouble in the past, mainly just some people being shitty about her lack of money and her slightly aggressive Puckerman nature. It seemed the girls she met through the volleyball program at the local Y were a good fit for her.

"Yeah, we might go to the mall. There's a really cute scarf at H&M that I think Kurt would love for his birthday," Sara said, looking back nonchalantly at her phone. "Have you thought about what to get him?"

Noah closed his eyes for a brief moment to gather his thoughts. After a couple of moments, he opened them and shrugged. "I have some ideas. Not sure what I'll get him, though." It wasn't like he even knew if he was invited.

He poured the rest of his cereal down his throat and wrapped the hot dogs in a paper towel. "I'm gonna finish upstairs," he said, grabbing his leftover food and heading back to his room.

After eating, Noah spent the next few hours trying to distract himself. He tried studying, but that was no good, especially without Kurt there to help with his grammar and vocab flashcards. It didn't help that he kept imagining how Kurt's eyebrows would press together in that cute way whenever he tried to solve for _x_. And hearing him rant about imaginary numbers was always funny, at least to him.

After that failure, he played some Mario Kart, but that was no good, either. It wasn't fun when he couldn't talk about Star Worlds with someone, or laugh at Kurt's dumb jokes about Rainbow Road. While Noah was the ultimate Mario master, Kurt was pretty kick ass as Princess Peach, and they always got super competitive. There had definitely been random tickle attacks from both sides, and Noah was pretty good at moving at just the right angle to block Kurt's view.

So he tried playing guitar. Of course, he should've seen how that wouldn't help, either, since the chords that were still on his brain were the ones from that dumb Taylor Swift song. Noah could still clearly imagine Kurt's face, how it got even paler and pinched as he looked ready to cry. That was not the face of someone who felt the same way back.

Resisting the urge to throw his guitar, Noah finally settled on cleaning his room. Thankfully he didn't get far enough that it reminded him of Kurt before Sara knocked on his door.

"Sup, munchkin?" Noah asked, trying to act a bit more normal than earlier. Well, as normal as it was for him to be cleaning his room by his own choice on a Saturday evening.

"Dinner?" she asked. "It's six o'clock."

Noah looked at his clock, both surprised at how late it was and surprised that it was still only six. "Oh, yeah. Sure. Pasta alright?"

About half an hour later, they were eating spaghetti and marinara. They didn't say much, but soon Sara got a text that made her squeal in excitement.

"Ma says I can go back to Jade's tonight!" Sara quickly texted Jade and, before Noah knew it, he was being pulled out the door in order to drop Sara off at her friend's house. Once they got there, Sara all but burst out of the car, just stopping to give Noah a quick goodbye hug.

And then Noah was alone again.

He started driving back to his place, but soon decided against it. Going back to his empty room seemed pretty awful. Instead, Noah turned on the radio and just drove around town as the sun started to set. There was something oddly peaceful and free about driving just for the sake of driving. It was a nice way to clear his head

His mind didn't stay clear forever, though. When he stopped for some gas, he found his thoughts going back, yet again, to Kurt. Kurt hadn't texted or called him or messaged him or anything. And Noah had been giving him space back. Still, even though it was only a bit over 24 hours, he was miserable. How was he supposed to give him space?

And why _should_ he give him space? Space didn't work for them. It just made them alone with their thoughts. Everyone was telling him to give Kurt space, but it just didn't make sense to him. They were supposed to talk about their feelings and shit, not just sit around _alone_. If Kurt was going to make a decision about their relationship, shouldn't Noah be there to help make it? Shouldn't it be a mutual decision, not just something Noah waited for?

He knew Kurt needed time to process things on his own, but it had been well over a day. Noah needed to know where he was at and then, _then_ maybe he'd be able to rest.

So, with the sun set and a full tank of gas, Noah found himself driving yet again without a thought. Kurt had only lived there for a few months, but Noah didn't need to think to find Kurt's house.

—

After a lot of studying and a nice walk around the neighborhood with Finn, Kurt went back to his room and turned on his television to relax a bit. Not too long after, his dad and Carole came by to tell him they were on their way to date night. "Have fun!" Kurt said, smiling at them.

"We will," Burt said. "Are you going anywhere tonight?"

Kurt shook his head. "No. I really just want a quiet night in. Spa day—or night—it up."

"Okay," Carole said. They both looked a bit concerned, but, thankfully, they both ended up telling him goodbye and to call them if need be.

"I will," Kurt agreed, laughing a bit as his dad told him not to wait up.

A few minutes later, Finn came by and knocked on his open door. "Hey, I'm going to Rachel's to study," he said. Kurt nodded and Finn awkwardly adjusted his feet before asking, "Wanna come with? She said you can."

Kurt made a face; he knew right away that Rachel would just be using it as an excuse to talk about Noah. "Thanks, but no thanks. I really don't need to be around the two of you 'studying,'" Kurt said, putting air quotes around the last word. Finn gave his goofy little half-grin and Kurt shook his head with a small smile of his own. "Besides, I want a spa night anyways; I normally wait until after finals, but the airplane really dried me out." They both knew that wasn't the only reason, but Finn was nice enough not to point that out. "Thank you for the offer, though. I really appreciate it. And…and I hope you know that I'm happy for you and Rachel, Nationals or not. I'm happy you're happy."

"Thanks," Finn said with a pretty big smile on his face. He cleared his throat and mentioned, "I hope you know that I want you to be happy, no matter what happens with…well, you know." Kurt's throat tightened a bit, so he just nodded in response and looked back down at his lap. After a few seconds Finn slowly added, "I promise I won't tell Rachel anything."

Kurt smiled at Finn, "I never doubted it."

The brothers said their goodbyes and soon Kurt heard the garage door opening and then closing. The night was so quiet that Kurt could even hear the faint sounds of Finn's car driving away. Once that sound faded away, Kurt let out a long breath as he let his head hit the pillow behind him.

God, this sucked.

He was really lucky about his finals situation, since his studying was not going well. Whenever he tried, his thoughts went back to Noah over the smallest things, like how Noah had to lecture him about not drawing doodles as he tried to explain math concepts, or how they'd take breaks to watch dumb reruns on TV Land. He probably got more done without Noah there, but he missed their study breaks and their snacks and, well, he just missed _Noah_.

Kurt had waited for a text or a call or anything, something to let him know that Noah was okay, but nothing came. It was probably a good thing, though, since Kurt still didn't know what to say or how he felt about it at all.

Kurt rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hand hard enough that he saw stars. With a sigh, he slowly rolled back up and went to his bathroom to start a bath. Two hot washes in a row was going to wreak some havoc on his skin, but he truly needed it. He poured in some lavender scented bath salts and put on playlist of some calm, indie music to help him relax. Once it was full, Kurt stepped into his warm bathtub and closed his eyes, just trying to get his brain to stop running in circles for at least a minute.

About half an hour later, Kurt was out of the tub and fully lotioned up from his neck down to his freshly pumiced toes. He let out a small yawn and put on his sweats before going to his mom's old vanity to put on a peeling mask; it was always best to detoxify and then moisturize with a rich mask, at least in his opinion. Once it was rubbed in, he put his whole music library on shuffle and went back to his bed to hum along to whatever came up.

After some Gaga and some Britney, "Best Years of Our Lives" came on shuffle. Kurt groaned and hit next, only to see some song he didn't know very well. Kurt squinted and read the artist's name, "The Partridge Family?" He wrinkled his nose a bit; he had some weird music he had collected from both his parents, including stuff that he was pretty sure were even oldies for _them_ , and not the awesome stuff like Dusty Springfield.

Kurt was about to hit next when the verse started. _"I'm sleeping and right in the middle of a good dream, then all at once I wake up from something that keeps knocking at my brain. Before I go insane I hold my pillow to my head and spring up in my bed, screaming out the words I dread, 'I think I love you!'"_ Kurt's eyebrows rose and he slowly put down his iPhone as he continued to listen.

_"This morning I woke up with this feeling I didn't know how to deal with, and so I just decided to myself I'd hide it to myself and never talk about it. And didn't I go and shout it when you walked into my room? 'I think I love you!'"_ Kurt leaned back against his pillows and looked up at the ceiling as the chorus started.

_"I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of? I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for…I think I love you, isn't that what life is made of? Though it worries me to say that I've never felt this way,"_ David Cassidy sang. Kurt swallowed roughly as those lyrics pounded inside of his head. Was that what was happening to him? He knew he was afraid of either of them getting hurt, but was he also possibly afraid of what his real feelings for Noah could lead to? How they could be something _real_ , not just the fairy tale romances he planend in his head? His stomach fluttered and he rested his hand on it, frankly amazed that some song by a fake family band was actually showing some insight into his mind.

_"I don't know what I'm up against, I don't know what it's all about. I got so much to think about—hey!"_

Kurt snorted. "You've got that right, David." He sat up with his legs against his chest and moved his mouth a bit to test how dry the mask had gotten. He decided to start peeling as the song went on to the next verse.

" _Believe me, you really don't have to worry. I only want to make you happy, and if you say, 'Hey go away' I will._ " Kurt stopped mid-movement, a small section of the mask peeling off his cheek. _"But I think better still, I better stay around and love you. Do you think I have a case? Let me ask you to your face—do you think you love me?"_

As the song faded out on a chorus of _I think I love you_ s, Kurt sat, stunned. What was that?

The song soon moved onto something from _Into the Woods_ , and that was enough for Kurt to snap out of his stupor. He went back to that Partridge Family song and played it as he went to the mirror to properly peel away the mask he had on. As he did, he couldn't help but hum a little bit and move to the beat. What? It was catchy, and it was making him feel something.

While Kurt had his doubts about god and faith, there was still a part of him that believed in some semblance of destiny. There were coincidences and random happenstance, but there were some things that he had to believe were meant to be. He had to believe that, that things happened for a reason, just so he could at least feel like there was _some_ order to the universe and it wasn't complete chaos. And that stupid song from a cheesy sitcom seemed to help that theory. Coincidence or not, that song was fun and catchy and really pertinent to his situation.

He repeated it yet again as he put on his favorite avocado based facial mask. He loved the cucumber smell to it and how much it moisturized his skin. Once that was settled on, he put on a timer for fifteen minutes and put the Partridge Family on repeat. Maybe that would help him finally _think_ like the song talked about.

As Kurt waited for the timer to go off, he started to organize through his scrubs and toners and moisturizers. It didn't take much thought, so he could consider the truth in front of him yet again.

The problem, though, was that it was hard to think about how he felt about Noah when Noah wasn't even there. Until just a few days earlier, Kurt had never considered them as anything romantic. Of course people had made jokes about it over the years and _yes_ , Kurt was well aware that their friendship was unusual, but he never considered them as anything more than friends, _best_ friends. Their friendship was what made them happy and what worked with their own lives, their own special pasts and unique experiences. Noah held Kurt's hand after his mom died and never let go; Kurt cuddled with Noah when Elijah left the first time and never stopped. They were touchy feely, but he was that way with Mercedes and Tina, too. Heck, he wasn't at all touchy with Blaine, and didn't that mean something?

… _Why_ wasn't he like that with Blaine?

Kurt stopped in his work, his eyebrows tense in thought. Sure, the height difference would make Kurt shift down in his seat when Blaine tried to wrap an arm around him, so it made sense that he didn't like that. But why was it so natural and safe to hold hands with Noah and spoon through the night and sit on his lap?

Well, it felt natural to do the same sort of things with his girls, right? So maybe he was just not comfortable with Blaine in the same way. Maybe he just saw another gay guy his age and assumed they'd work and did all he could to make something out of nothing.

But, no. He actually liked Blaine. And now, as friends, Kurt was having an amazing time with him. But, unlike with his other friends, he didn't want to hold his hand. While Kurt would insist time and time again that his friendships with the girls weren't _that_ different from his friendship with Noah, they were. Noah was still a guy, and the fact that he wanted to hold hands with him and be close to him…it meant _something_ , didn't it?

Before Kurt could think it through anymore, he heard a sound downstairs. He sat up pin-straight in his chair and looked towards the door as his heart thumped wildly in his chest. There was no way Finn was back yet, and his parents couldn't have possibly seen their movie _and_ have dinner that quickly.

He was almost sure he had just been hearing things when there was a small _creak_. Kurt knew that creak. It was from one of the stairs. And, even with the music in the background, Kurt could hear steps heading towards his room.

In a panic, Kurt looked around the room for some sort of weapon. He settled for his twirling baton and got it on the ready as he heard the steps arrive in front of his door. Kurt gripped the baton and got ready to swing, only for the door to open and reveal Noah.

"Oh my god," Kurt said, putting a hand to his heart and lowering his baton. "You _scared_ me."

Noah looked a bit apologetic, but mostly determined. "Sorry. I guess I should've texted you that I was coming." He smirked slightly and added, "Then you could've at least made your face look slightly less colorful."

Kurt spun back towards the mirror and looked at the mask on his face. He rolled his eyes. "Well, you've seen me in worse." They both smiled at each other through the mirror before Kurt's timer went off.

—

It took some time for Kurt to completely wipe off his face, and then, as he explained to Noah, he had to use some toner to make sure it all got off, and then re-moisturize on top of that. Noah never got Kurt's skin stuff, but he rarely got pimples or flakes or anything, so he never questioned it.

Instead, Noah just sat at the edge of Kurt's bed, waiting for Kurt to finish out his deliberate actions so they could talk. He seemed to be going slower than usual, but Noah could admit that it was possibly just all in his head.

Of course, Kurt would admit he was definitely being slower than usual, taking his time with his gentle circles and pats of oil. It was great to see Noah—just having him in the room was a nice, calming presence—but he knew that once they started actually talking, it wasn't going to be so calm.

However, eventually Kurt ran a comb through his still wet hair and turned his chair to look at Noah. He couldn't put it off any longer.

"So," Noah started. "You started your spa day early this school year."

"Yeah," Kurt said, his eyes boring into Noah's. "I think you can see why I needed a night of relaxation."

Noah looked down at his lap. "Yeah." He sighed quietly and looked back up at Kurt. "I'm not sorry about what I said. Or, well, sang."

"Good," Kurt said softly. "I don't want you to be." Kurt nervously fidgeted with his hands in his lap. "We should be honest with each other. Always. I just wished you had made it a bit less public."

"I know," he said. "I just thought…you always went on about wooing someone with a song. I thought you'd appreciate it."

"Yeah, well I might have realized when you don't know it's coming, it's kind of…not so fun. I kind of get where that Jeremiah guy was coming from—that guy Blaine sang to for Valentine's Day," Kurt clarified. His lips twitched into a smirk as he added, "The use of Taylor Swift probably didn't help."

Noah snorted. "I thought it was fitting, but Santana was actually the one who suggested it."

Kurt shook his head, still smirking. "I can't believe you worked with her," he said honestly. "I'm sure you have your reasons, though."

"I do."

They remained silent for a while. Neither of them seemed to know how to broach the real subject and the real crux of the situation. But after some time, Kurt finally spoke up.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said quietly, looking down at his lap. Noah looked over at him and Kurt continued, "I'm sorry for leaving you. And hurting you. And…and I'm sorry." Kurt looked up at Noah, his blue eyes slightly wet. "You know I never want to hurt you, right? I just wanted some time to… _process_."

"Of course," Noah said. "I mean…I figured that was it. It did hurt, I'm not gonna lie. But I know you didn't mean it to."

Kurt nodded and bit his lip. He knew he had to accept that, whether he meant to or not, he had caused Noah some pain.

Noah sighed, "Look, I didn't come here to talk about what happened or what it meant or what I felt in that moment. That's over. Maybe I was a bit too rash, maybe I didn't think it through…I don't know. It felt like the right thing to do." He ran a hand through his mohawk before asking, "Do you feel the same way about me?"

Kurt looked back down at his lap and started batting his eyes quickly. "God, you've never been one to beat around the bush."

"Subtlety isn't my forte," Puck agreed with a small grin.

Kurt took a long, deep breath, butterflies flapping around wildly in his stomach. "I don't know," he said. "I…I just don't know." He looked back up at Noah and continued, "I can't stop thinking, just—what will that mean for us? Every time I try to think about it, my mind just starts questioning everything. What if you fall out of love? What if I do? What if we hurt each other?" A few tears left his eyes and he said, "I don't want to hurt you. And I don't want to get hurt, either. And…and I can't lose you again. I _can't_."

Noah immediately went over to Kurt and sat on the trunk he kept next to his vanity. "Hey, hey," he said calmly and quietly. Noah cupped Kurt's face with both hands and gently wiped those tears away as Kurt looked at him with wide, worried eyes. "I get it, okay? I understand. I don't want to lose you again, either." He gave Kurt a sad smile and asked, "Do you think I actually enjoyed last summer? I definitely didn't." Kurt let out a small noise and nodded, sniffing slightly.

"I totally get it," Noah said, talking very quietly. "But we're Kurt and Noah, Noah and Kurt! We'd find our way back together again." Kurt nodded and Noah let go of his face. This was all stuff Kurt knew, all stuff he and Carole and his dad had talked about the night before, but there was something comforting about hearing his best friend's confirmation that, no matter what, they would find their way back together.

"I hate that I made you feel this way," Noah whispered. "I really do. I just…hiding this wasn't helping either of us." With a half-smile, Noah admitted, "Once I realized how I felt about you, how much I denied things…" Noah shook his head with a laugh, "Kurt, it explained so many things. And I was denying everything for so long, for _years_ , I'm sure. I just figured that we had a weird friendship, that holding hands and all of that didn't mean anything. And it doesn't, not really. None of that is proof of how I feel about you. That's why the jokes never bugged me—what did it matter? Holding hands didn't mean anything. And it still doesn't."

Noah gave Kurt one of the most adoring smiles Kurt had ever seen. "I don't know when it happened or how long it's been going on or _how_ I got to this point, all I know is that I'm in love with you." Kurt remained silent, stunned speechless as he looked at his best friend.

So Noah just kept on talking, grabbing Kurt's hands as he did so. "Kurt, I know you keep thinking what if we break up…but what if we don't?" Noah asked. "What if…what if Quinn and Finn and Blaine and Lauren and everyone, what if those weren't the real things? What if _this_ is it?" Kurt's heart fluttered in his chest, though he still remained silent. "We always said we'd be with each other forever. Maybe this is how."

Kurt swallowed and looked off to the side, unable to keep staring at Noah's passionate, hazel eyes, eyes that were pleading with him so desperately. "Kurt…say something. _Please_ ," Noah whispered, not sure he could handle the silence.

"I…" Kurt looked back at Noah and then closed his eyes as he lowered his head. "I just don't know how I feel. I'm sorry." He lifted his head back up again, afraid to see what was on Noah's face.

Impressively, Noah, while definitely tearing up a bit, wasn't nearly as visibly crushed as Kurt was afraid. "I understand," Noah said. "And I'll…I'll give you more time. I'll try to, at least."

He stood up and walked to Kurt's door. He turned around about half way there and said, "You know I'm here when you're ready to talk." Kurt nodded. Noah nodded back and walked a bit more before turning back to him. "And…and even if you're not ready by your birthday, I'll be there. I'm not missing another one. I might need some space if…if you decide…" Noah drifted off; he wasn't sure he could get himself to say the word _no_. "But I'll do my best to be there."

Kurt nodded. "Thank you. For…everything."

Noah gave Kurt a sad smile. "No problem. It's what I do. Just…keep me posted." He opened the door and turned back to add, "And let me know if you want help with your math. Or if you want to rant about parabolas."

Kurt shook his head. "See, I don't even know what that is."

Noah laughed quietly. "They're those equations that make the curve when graphed out."

"They should just called it the curved graph…thingie."

"Yeah, _that_ sounds professional," Noah teased. "What do you want to call the quadratic formula? 'That one equation with the song'?"

"I just think _parabola_ is a bit too close to _parable_. Which are two very different things." Kurt raised an eyebrow, "You know what a parable is, right?"

"Of course." Noah joked, "It's what Jesus fed the poor, right?"

Kurt couldn't help but let out a small laugh at that, the sound a bit surprised as it left his mouth. "Yep, that's it. You're right. Totally right." He wiped under his eyes and sniffed. "No one can make me laugh like you do," Kurt said. "Whenever I think you can't, you just… _do_."

Noah smiled a bit and shrugged. "Well, I guess I got years of practice." He didn't seem to notice the look that Kurt had on his face. A look full of curiosity, fear, and maybe a bit more of something else: realization.

"You _always_ make me feel better," Kurt said quietly. The thought resonated inside of Kurt. Other people had comforted him successfully, true, but no one made him feel better than Noah did. "No one makes me feel like you do."

Noah shifted his weight a bit, looking back down at his feet. Kurt's tone had changed so suddenly, so dramatically, and he was nervous as to what that meant. "They don't?" Noah asked, afraid to look up.

Kurt shook his head before quietly saying, "No." Things were all suddenly rushing into his head, almost dizzying him as he tried to sort through them all. No matter how many sleepovers and shopping trips and long conversations into the night he had with Mercedes or Tina or Rachel, none of them made him feel the same way Noah did, and they never would. Blaine certainly didn't, either, and neither did Finn or anyone he knew, any friend he made, any crush he had. What Noah provided for him, what Noah did without even trying, it was all so different from what his friends provided. More focused. More intense. _Much_ more.

Noah finally looked back over and noticed the odd look on Kurt's face. He still wasn't sure what it meant, but his heart started to pound in excitement. "How do I make you feel?" Noah asked softly, barely above a whisper, almost as if he was afraid that if he talked too loud, he would push Kurt back away.

It seemed to do the trick, since Kurt inched closer without seeming to realize it. Noah didn't realize he was moving in closer, too, like a magnetic pull as the door behind him stayed slightly ajar, unbeknownst to him. "Like I can do anything," he answered softly. "Like I'm whole…complete…" Kurt's lips slowly twitched up into a smile and he finished, " _Calm_."

Noah wasn't sure what Kurt was thinking, but his heart continued to race in excitement and hope. " _Kurt_ …" he warned, not sure he would be able to handle it if Kurt turned away. Noah was half afraid Kurt would knock him over again, like he did when he went to Dalton, like he did when he walked out of the choir room.

But Kurt didn't do that. Because Kurt had realized they really weren't Will and Grace or Bella and Jacob. They were Kurt and Noah, and that made all the difference. So instead of letting Noah leave brokenhearted and himself sad and alone, Kurt had a different plan.

Kurt quickly walked over to Noah and, without a second thought, wrapped his arms around Noah's neck and kissed him.

As if following on instinct, Noah's arms wrapped around Kurt's waist, his hands on Kurt's lower back. Kurt pushed Noah back against the door, the door clicking shut behind them, a sound that fell on deaf ears. All either boy could hear and feel and see was the other, and as Kurt's tongue pressed against Noah's lips and Noah's hand trailed under Kurt's shirt, any thoughts of anything but that moment in time seemed of trivial importance.

The two eventually needed to part for breath, but kept pressing small kisses to the other, unable to fully break away, not after years of holding back all that was in them. Finally, Noah managed to pull away to look into Kurt's eyes, those eyes that were never quite blue, but never quite green, either. His hand cupped one of Kurt's flushed cheeks as he looked into those eyes, not even sure what he _wanted_ to say when there seemed to be so much that _needed_ to be said.

"Are you sure?" Noah finally asked in a hoarse whisper. Whether he meant the kiss or their relationship as a whole, he didn't clarify. But it didn't matter to Kurt, since the answer was the same no matter what.

"Yes," Kurt whispered breathlessly. His eyes were sparkling as he nodded slightly. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes—I love you, Noah Puckerman; I'm _in_ love with you," Kurt said, unable to stop the smile forming on his lips and the giddy, near-laugh that came out of his mouth.

Noah had never heard a more amazing sentence in his life.

"I love you, too," Noah said back. "God, I love you so much—" Instead of completing that thought, Noah just pressed his lips back against Kurt's, the hand that was at Kurt's cheek pushing back to find his hair. It was still damp as Noah lightly grabbed it, the sensation causing a small moan to sound from Kurt's mouth. Noah grinned against his lips as Kurt pressed even harder against him, his back flat against the door and the door knob pressed against his hip. It shouldn't have been a good feeling, what with the knob jabbing his side and the hard wood pressing uncomfortably into his back, but after after everything, Noah couldn't ask for anything better.

Of course, it did get better. Much, much better.

Kurt pulled away and stepped back. Before Noah could panic as to what that meant, Kurt looked up at Noah through his eyelashes. With his lips parted and the spark in his eyes, Kurt was giving him the sexiest look Noah had ever seen in his life, and _that_ was saying something. Without a word, Kurt trailed one of his arms down Noah's side and, with a small smirk, locked the bedroom door.

_Click_.

Noah's heart hammered in his chest. Kurt didn't need words to express what he wanted, not when he was looking at Noah like that. Still, Noah needed that confirmation.

"Are you sure?" Noah asked again. He knew if they kept going where they were going, there was no way to back out, to uncross that line they were about to cross. Noah wanted to cross that line—he wanted to _jump_ over that fucking line—but he needed Kurt to want that, too.

"God, yes," Kurt said. And he jumped that line, too, by jumping up into Noah's arms and wrapping his legs around his waist.

Noah wasted no time in getting Kurt back over to the bed, lightly dropping him off onto the mattress. Kurt moved up the length of the bed as Noah climbed on and kicked off his shoes and socks. He crawled over Kurt and their mouths soon hungrily found each other, the passion they shared making their after prom kisses look tame in comparison. Kurt's hands started to pull at Noah's shirt, and he gladly pulled away to take it off and throw it over the side; he didn't see where it landed as he was back on Kurt's mouth before it touched the ground.

And when Noah's hands found the hem of Kurt's T-shirt, Kurt pulled back and nodded, lifting up his torso just enough to help Noah get it off of him. All the insecurities he might have had of being shirtless for years seemed to disappear as Noah's lips found his neck. Kurt let out a high cry and bucked against Noah's hips. They both groaned at the sensation of their clothed erections pressing together, signaling they both needed to keep moving forward. As much as Noah wanted to explore Kurt's smooth skin and Kurt wanted to play with that nipple ring Noah had bragged about for years, they needed more right then and there. There would be time for exploring and experimenting and slow kisses and soft touches— _years_ of time for that—but for now, they needed more. Much more.

Kurt's nails dug into Noah's shoulders as Noah's hands went to his belt. After some frenzied pulling, he somehow managed to calm down enough to undo the fastening and then unzip his pants. He pushed down his jeans part way, rolling himself and Kurt to their sides as he started to kick his legs in an effort to get them off. Kurt used that as his opportunity to kiss down to Noah's neck, licking over his skin before biting down over his pulse point. Noah growled at the sensation and got his pants off his ankles before moving onto Kurt's pants.

They both tried to undo the knot of his sweatpants at the same time, both failing before Kurt just pushed his thumbs under the top of them and pushed them down. Once they were off, Noah looked Kurt in the eye once again. "Should we get under the covers?" Noah asked. Kurt nodded enthusiastically and they both quickly climbed under Kurt's duvet before they each took off their underwear.

With a deep breath, Noah kissed Kurt again and moved back on top of him. Their cocks rubbed against each other, creating an amazing amount of friction that made Kurt's eyes roll back for a moment. " _Fuck_ ," Kurt said without thinking, and that word coming out of his innocent friend's mouth just made Noah rock even harder against him. He pushed down harder, rocking against his friend's hips, only for his cock to press past Kurt's balls and rub against his crack.

Noah paused and looked at Kurt. He wanted that so bad, wanted to be inside of Kurt and be _with_ him and make him feel _good, so_ good—he knew how good it could feel with just Santana's strap on, and Noah was sure he could make Kurt feel even better—but he wasn't going to push things. Kurt had gone on for years about waiting for the right moment and the right guy—his _soulmate_.

So when Kurt spread his legs and begged, " _Please,_ " Noah knew what he meant, how he felt about Noah, how he felt about them as a couple. And if his heart wasn't already pounding, it definitely would've been fluttering at top speed at that realization.

"Of course," Noah said. "Do you want me to—?"

Kurt shook his head and reached over to his bedside nightstand. He opened up the top drawer and pulled out the lube Noah had given him, now over half-empty from his own use. Noah couldn't help but grin at that and Kurt said, "I'll stretch myself—I can be faster." As much as he wanted to feel Noah's fingers stretch him open, he wanted to feel Noah's cock inside of him sooner and he didn't want to coach him through this, not when he could quickly prepare himself efficiently. He had practiced pretty damn frequently since that first time in his bathtub.

Noah nodded and rubbed Kurt's thigh as Kurt bent his legs. Kurt poured some lube onto his fingers and rubbed them together quickly to warm up the liquid. Noah waited, unsure of what to do, but then Kurt's hand was sliding under the blanket, and Noah just had to pull back the blankets to watch.

Kurt licked his lips and nodded, as if to say it was fine, and Noah gave his cock a firm stroke, quickly taking in the sight of Kurt's erection, hard and heavy where it laid against his stomach. But just a second later, his eye was drawn to where Kurt's fingers circled around his rim, lubing himself up. Noah watched, entranced, as Kurt slowly pushed a finger in, the digit disappearing inside him knuckle by knuckle. He looked back at Kurt's face to make sure he was okay and then looked back to find Kurt pumping that finger in and out of himself. Before Noah knew it, Kurt was pushing in a second, and he watched in amazement as Kurt mewled quietly, spreading those fingers around and scissoring them with delight.

" _Jesus_ ," Noah muttered. Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined Kurt all flushed in the face as he fucked himself happily with his fingers.

Kurt opened his eyes and looked over at Noah, his eyes traveling down his torso and widening as he saw his hard cock. "Oh _god_ ," Kurt said, his mouth suddenly very dry. He had never seen Blaine's or anyone else's in person, not in that state, but that…that _had_ to be bigger than average, right? "You're so _big_ ," Kurt gasped out, pressing in a third finger and quickly grinding down on it. He looked back up into Noah's smirking eyes and panted, "I need that in me— _fuck_!" He'd never had anything but his fingers inside of him before, but he just _knew_ he needed Noah in him. Soon, as Kurt curved his fingers, his back arched and he moaned, obviously finding that spot in him that he had told Noah about so long ago.

Noah couldn't help himself. He had to lean over and kiss one of Kurt's thighs, kiss up the fine hair there and to his hip bone. He grabbed Kurt's opposite hip with his hand while his other hand wrapped around his cock, desperate to feel the weight and shape in his hand. Kurt jerked at the contact, letting out a loud moan.

"God, Noah—" Kurt moaned, his body seeming torn between grinding down to his fingers or thrusting up into Noah's grip. "God, Noah, I— _stop_ —"

Noah stopped immediately and his eyes widened as he pulled his hands back. Had he hurt him? Had Kurt changed his mind? Was he going too fast?

Kurt opened his eyes again—not even remembering when they closed—and bashfully admitted, "If you keep doing that, I'm going to come before you're even in me." Noah ducked his head and quietly chuckled; it was kind of adorable, at least to him. He pressed another kiss to Kurt's hipbone and then the one opposite it. Kurt kept his fingers inside of himself but stilled them as Noah moved back to sit on his haunches.

"Do you have condoms?" Noah asked. Kurt nodded and jerked his head to the same drawer the lube came from; he never thought he'd be so grateful for the sex talk his dad gave him. Noah reached over and eagerly pulled out a package from a box. "Do you—do you want to put it on me?"

Again, Kurt blushed a bit. "I…I don't know how," he admitted. "I mean, I know in theory, but I've never done it. Not even on a piece of fruit. We didn't do that when I was at Dalton."

Noah laughed quietly. "What did they teach you over at that fancy private school, huh?" Kurt rolled his eyes but couldn't help but let out a small laugh himself. "I got this, don't worry," Noah said.

Kurt watched intently as Noah ripped open the package with his teeth and then, after pinching a bit of space at the top, rolled the condom down his shaft. He looked back up at Kurt and took the lube and poured some on his hand. Noah bit his lip as he stroked himself, doing his best to coat his whole cock patiently.

But then Kurt's spare hand was reaching forward and wrapping around Noah's erection and Noah couldn't help but whine at the soft touch. Kurt's eyes were lustful and curious as he felt the weight of Noah in his hand, the warmth radiating from inside the condom, the vein pulsing…

" _God_ ," Kurt whimpered. He pulled back his hand and spread his legs further. "I'm ready—and _yes_ , I'm sure—I'm _so_ sure," Kurt added as Noah opened his mouth to ask. Noah smiled and nodded.

He climbed between Kurt's legs, kissing Kurt's shoulder as the man whimpered at the sensation of his fingers pulling out. He lined himself with Kurt's entrance and, after one last look at Kurt's determined eyes, he slowly pressed in…

_Tight_. That was all Noah could think at first, his cock pulsing as he got the tip in. He paused, trying to be mindful of Kurt, Kurt who was biting his lip and clenching a fist. "Are you—"

"Don't stop," Kurt said. "I'm fine, it's better if you keep moving…" Noah nodded and did what he was told, not stopping until, somehow, incredibly, his balls were against Kurt's ass.

"You feel so good," Noah moaned, pressing a kiss to Kurt's temple. He nuzzled his nose again Kurt's cheek, his body practically buzzing with need. Even so, he remained still as he waited for Kurt's reaction. "How do you feel, baby?"

Kurt looked up at him, not even sure what to say. He felt full and stretched and maybe he felt just the _slightest_ burn, but that was just making his cock twitch more. He didn't know how to tell him all of that or if he even would be able to. So Kurt looked Noah straight in the eye and simply said, "Fuck me." With that, he squeezed around Noah, hoping to spur him into action, and pressed their lips together.

The passion and hunger and energy from before all returned like _that_. Noah pulled out almost all the way and slammed back in, groaning at the high moan coming from Kurt's throat as they continued to kiss. He repeated the action again and again and again, rolling and snapping his hips in different angles as he looked for that spot, that spot that would make Kurt cry out in pleasure. Kurt seemed to want that too, and started tilting his hips, lifting his legs around Noah's waist as Noah fucked him.

Noah knew they had found it when Kurt was clawing at his back and moaning louder and higher than Noah thought possible. " _There there there there there there there_ ," Kurt moaned in a chant as Noah pounded him into the mattress at that specific angle. Kurt's head lolled back as he started bucking his hips with Noah's, their thrusts working together as they slammed into each other. Noah took advantage of Kurt's relaxed neck by leaning forward and continuing on that hickey he was making earlier, sucking and licking and nibbling on Kurt's hot, sweaty skin as they moved faster and faster.

"Noah—" Kurt panted out. "Noah, I'm gonna—" Noah didn't need Kurt to finish that thought; he simply grabbed Kurt's throbbing cock and stroke it as he continued to thrust. It didn't take more than a couple of strokes before Kurt's moans grew higher and more breathless until he was _screaming_ his release. His back arched and his eyes closed as he came into Noah's hand with the most beautiful sound Noah had ever heard, still bucking his hips as he rode out his orgasm.

That sound along with the rhythmic clenching of Kurt's hole around Noah's cock tipped Noah over the edge. He bit Kurt's neck and moaned against his skin as he thrusted erratically until, finally, his orgasm subsided and his hips slowed to a stop.

After a few moments, Kurt wriggled a bit in discomfort. "Oh, shit, sorry," Noah said, knowing all too well how sensitive Kurt had to be at that moment. He pulled out quickly, though both of them definitely whined at losing that connection, and then he swiftly took off the condom and tied it in a knot before shooting it over to Kurt's trash can.

He laid down next to Kurt and was about to get a towel for the come on his hand when Kurt, much to Noah's outright motherfucking _delight_ , grabbed his hand and gladly licked it clean. Noah moaned quietly and Kurt licked up every last drop before shyly pulling away, looking a bit embarrassed that he did that. Noah dropped his hand back down and wiped the saliva that was left on his thigh, looking down at his legs.

Slowly, Noah and Kurt looked back at each other, both of them naked and sweaty. After a few moments of looking at each other silently, they did the only thing they could think of: laugh. They couldn't help it; the whole thing was so weird, so new, so _different_. And _damn_ had it been good. Rushed and desperate and messy, but _good_. Great. Amazing. Life changing. Like, _literally_ life changing.

Soon, just like clockwork, the blankets were pulled back up and they were snug against each other. It was almost like the usual old Noah and Kurt relationship, just with a lot less clothes and, if it was somehow possible, even more touching. Kurt rested his hand on one of Noah's pecs, his thumb lightly rubbing against tan skin, while Noah's fingers traced the pale, bare skin on Kurt's arm.

"I wanted that for so long," Kurt admitted. Noah looked back up at him, glad to see Kurt smiling from ear to ear. "I kept thinking, 'god, Noah would be the _perfect_ guy to lose it to, wouldn't he?'" He laughed quietly and shook his head. "I never realized _why_. I just thought…I don't know, that if I couldn't find a boyfriend…" Kurt laughed again and Noah joined in at the ridiculousness.

"Me, too," Noah admitted. "I kept trying to deny that I found you hot, ever since…well, for a long time…We've both been kind of dumb, huh?" Noah asked. Kurt nodded and nuzzled against Noah's neck. Noah didn't even bother hiding his smile as Kurt's nose tickled the sensitive skin there.

Noah's hand traveled up Kurt's arm to his neck, lightly gliding over the darkening mark there; _that_ was going to give some stuff away. He smiled at that and lightly ran his fingers through Kurt's hair and then down his back, finally letting his hand cup Kurt's ass, something he definitely had wanted to do for well over a year. And it felt just as nice as Noah had imagined.

Kurt made a small sound, though, and Noah stopped. "Are you sore? Does it hurt?" Noah asked immediately in concern.

Kurt lifted his head back up. "A little sore. But it doesn't hurt, no," he said. He smiled sheepishly and admitted, "It felt kinda nice." He rested his head on a pillow, giggling a bit as Noah went back to groping his ass, which just felt good on his tired muscles. Kurt's own long fingers lightly played with the slight dusting of chest hair Noah had. "You should grow this out," Kurt said with a grin.

"I will," Noah said. He wasn't sure why Kurt liked it so much, but he wasn't going to deny him that small pleasure. He brought his hand back to Kurt's lower back, just holding him close as he pressed a kiss to the top of Kurt's head, drinking in the afterglow.

After a few moments of comfortable, contented silence, Noah said, "Even if you're sore, I'm sure we can find some other things to do. You know, if you want to."

Kurt looked up at him and, much to Noah's pleasure, smirked in approval. They both knew they'd have a lot to discuss in the morning, but until then, they had to make up for a lot of wasted time.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I considered putting this in two parts but...well, I didn't want to in the end. I hope it's not too long for you guys. And I still have a few more chapters planned - one for summer and at least one for season three and one for four, which is the end of canon in my mind. Then an epilogue. We'll see, I might make a little spinoff of this where I can focus on other moments, but I'm not sure.
> 
> Anyways, thank you again for all the love and support, and I truly hope you loved this update as much as I do.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to move my fics over here since I like this set up and want to explore it more, so I'm sorry if you were hoping for a "new" Puckurt story. 
> 
> Here's the full prompt:
> 
> "Puck and Kurt have been friends since they were small, best friends. I'm thinking that they met in some meeting for single parents (Burt and Mrs. Puckerman going there for support and the kids tagging along to play in the other room) or maybe they were neighbors before Puck's dad left his family and they were forced to move because they couldn't afford the house any longer.
> 
> They often hold hands, Kurt sits in Puck's lap, Puck defends Kurt and Kurt helps him with school, they tell each other everything (for example Kurt knows about the babygate before anyone else and Puck knows Karofsky kissed Kurt) They are always over at each others houses and Puck's sister thinks of Kurt as her brother and Burt feels like Puck is his son.
> 
> No one understands their friendship it's just another weird thing that people accept, up there with Sue Sylvester and getting slushied in the face.
> 
> Now when they are teenagers their friendship has been causing them some trouble, mostly that any person that either of them date (mostly Puck cause he is a sex shark) breaks up with them really fast because they feel like they can't compete with Puck and Kurt's friendship. Even if Puck is dating some girl it will still be Kurt that sits on his lap during glee, or if Kurt gets a boyfriend he is "forced" to watch his boyfriend hold hands with Puck instead of himself during lunch. Kurt calling Puck in the middle of a make-out session and instead of turning off his phone Puck answers and then gets the girl he was with to go home so he can talk to his best friend in peace."


End file.
